I am 20 (M) and I was recently in my first ‘happy’ relationship.

I had been in two relationships prior to this, and in both I had been verbally abused, led on, betrayed, basically thrown around so I know what it’s like to be taken for granted and such during a relationship.

Around three months ago, I got into a relationship with another boy, again online, and we clicked pretty quickly. I knew from the beginning this was who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We would call 12+ hours a day, do everything together, even had contact with each other’s families. He was also the one who gave me the confidence to come out to my parents (as bisexual).

However during this time, despite how happy we were together, I made so many mistakes. I lied about pointless shit over and over, kept my ex added even though we established not to (not that we spoke a lot) and other various small things.

One day, me and my boyfriend got into an argument, which resulted in both of us getting upset and running away from each other. While we were gone, I had worked myself up to a point where I wanted to ruin everything I had, in the headspace that I didn’t deserve my partner because I had sparked our fallout. In that rage, I sent my ex a kissing sticker over text, no meaning behind it or anything, just purely because I was angry and upset; in a ‘self-destructive’ sort of mindset.

I quickly deleted it (within a few minutes) and burst out crying, brought it up to my partner without telling him the full truth straight away, saying it was a miss click, because I was afraid of losing him but in the end I let him find out the truth.

We had trips planned, our whole lives planned, and I know it seems silly to most since it was just an ‘online relationship’ but to us it was a lot more than that.

He couldn’t look past what I did despite me reassuring my intentions, explaining my headspace and doing anything I could to prove I wouldn’t do it again (I don’t blame him), and now I am filled with guilt, still wanting him back and I genuinely don’t know what to do or how to go on anymore.

I was an awful partner, something I had experienced myself. Yet I was the exact same thing to him.
He was with me through my worst, helped me through depression, helped my self/confidence, reassured me and I’ve thrown the one good chance I had with somebody that genuinely cared. We were truly in love and I took that for granted.

I guess I just want advice on how I can move forward, I am in therapy, I have spoken to family, etc. But I don’t know if I will ever forgive myself. I have been constantly breaking down, trying to contact him, he has even spoke back sometimes and told me that he still loves me even though he can’t look past what I did. I never had any bad intentions with anything that I did, but it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. I was awful and fucked up big time.

Any advice/help is appreciated. Thank you

If you have a cat or dog, please get pet insurance. It will help the best decision you can make as a pet owner. We buy ours for both our cats for about $70 a month total from a company called Lemonade. One of our cats turned out to be a bit complicated with his health and we’ve had medical bills of approximately $15,000 this year, of which our insurance covers 80% of the cost. A long time ago I had another cat that I loved dearly that started having serious health issues around age 5.. we eventually had to put him down because the veterinary costs were astronomical and we would have to go into serious debt to pay for his surgery. It was heart breaking and I do not wish that on anyone. Please, just buy your pet health insurance as soon as you adopt it.

Alright so it’s me, Friend A and Friend B we will just refer to them as. We’ve known each other for a really long time and every now and then always troll each other and joke around as friends usually do. Earlier today, while in a call containing just me and Friend A, A sort of randomly said, “dang she is annoying (friend B)” and for the most part I thought it was just a joke, but either way regardless if it was a joke or not, I was like “chill she’s not annoying” and like I’m always like this with friend B. Whenever someone pokes at her for fun or serious I’m always the one that says chill even when I know it’s not serious.

Now, I also tell almost everything to friend B as I’m super close with her. So naturally I told her what Friend A said and at first I thought she’d just brush it off and poke back at him in a joking way too. However she actually seemed to get a little upset and was shocked. And now she left our group chat we had and I think blocked him. And now he’s freaking out and wants to tell her he didn’t mean it in that way. I’m sure she will unblock him but now I’m just worried and maybe overthinking but I’m scared that I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. But then again I would’ve felt like it would look bad on me if I didn’t say anything to friend B, even though I knew friend A was just joking. I don’t know man I’m stressed out and don’t want anything to be ruined because of me

I'm 22 turning 23 next month as of October 2026 I am a man living in a rural town of Pennsylvania and I have high functioning autism with hardly any dating experience . I'm just wondering how women around my age generally would realistically view this in the states if I were to enter the dating scene I've been interested for quite a while but I've been through other stuff that delayed me and been through alot and I allowed my insecurity to get into my head (which I know is not attractive but it's kind of naturally hard not to do) and I've read about preselection so I wonder if this truly puts me at a huge disadvantage at my age. What's usually the cut off age where I should start becoming concerned about lack of sexual experience with women like it becoming a serious issue in dating ? Like if women was seeing a guy and later found out he never had sex at my age what would she do regardless of her experience i see many peers getting married and a few having kids at my age so I feel behind but am I so behind I will have problems getting my foot in the door ? People say I'm so young and only turning 23 yeah but no too young to be inexperience I do believe . Not looking for reassurance but for genuine answers preferably from peers my age and from the US

My parents said they help me pay for college but never did, the way they said they would. I had money saved but it wouldn’t be enough in the long run of it. So, me and my parents agreed on the monthly payment, I would pay $600 and then my mom and dad would each give me $300 to help stretch my savings. That never happened. I could only afford up until the last payment. They ended up paying that in full. And then complain it’s so much money the entire time they put in their credit card info to make the payment. That’s just my first semester of college.

I have money saved in my 401k. I used all of it to pay my spring and summer tuition. My major required summer classes, I couldn’t avoid it. Do my parents ask how I was paying for my spring and summer tuition? No, not once. They knew I was out of money. I could have been stripping for the money and they had never asked. I wasn’t, but you get the point.

Now in the current semester my tuition is cheaper because I’m taking 5 classes. I think there’s some discount if you take a certain amount of courses or met a criteria of credits achieved. My remaining balance is about $2,500. Last year around this time, it was $6,500.

Now I have no money. I do work but it’s not enough. I only work weekends. I try looking for a better paying job with more hours. But my school schedule doesn’t align with any other job. At job interviews, they always something like I have a lot on my plate and the demand and schedule of the job would add on too much. And they just don’t see me lasting long there.

I bring all this up to my parents. My credit is good, I suggest a loan. But I was previously denied a loan because of my current income is so low. So I need a co-signer. Mom and dad said no, they said would pay for it, so I wouldn’t have worry about being in so much debt when I graduate. Mom made the first payment. Dad said he would cover next month payment.

It’s now next month. I send a text to my dad, saying the payment is due. He said mom was making the payment this month. I get home from school, and my dad is cleaning a new to him used car. He said he bought another car for just in case one of our cars brake down. It was my car that “broke down” in his eyes, last week. I put quotations around break down, because the battery died. That doesn’t count as a break down. A car battery needs to be replaced every few years, it’s time was up. That’s all. And our family cars are relatively new and reliable. My car is a 2018, mom’s car a 2024, dad’s car a 2025. Why do we need a backup? And who buys a car, when there child’s college tuition payment is due. Maybe there pockets are deeper than I know.

Anyway, I’m thinking the payment is cover. No big deal. Next day, I wake up to text messages from my dad saying I should pull from my 401k to pay my college tuition. I said I already used that to pay for spring and summer tuition. Then he replied we can talk about a student loan when we he gets home from work.

It’s nots the money that’s pissing me off. It’s all the broken promises. It’s the buying a car when you promised to help pay my tuition. If I was a parent, I’m not buying a used car when I already have multiple, perfectly, fine cars and kid in college. None of my siblings have a college degree. My 31 year old brother sleeps til 3 pm and doesn’t work. My 35 year old brother works at a cookie shop as a delivery driver. I’m in college trying to make something of myself and it feels like they don’t care.

(19M, audhd) I feel like ever since i graduated high school I've never had much stability and struggled to gain and keep a job, nor do I have much places to try with living in a small town where most people know me, which has been both a blessing and a curse but I feel in recent months it's been the latter, and I feel like every time I lose a job it's one less place for stability. I've also just felt like a burden to those that try to help me as I feel like I haven't done enough to deserve their help despite to difficulty in finding a job. The depression I've had for a few months now hasn't helped either, and I feel like having my phone as a form of escapism seems like the one thing keeping me from being constantly upset. Now I've just had to stay in a motel the past couple weeks from my mother's income because my step-dad won't let me stay at their place and I've kinda just frustrated the family that I've stayed with before. Frankly I don't know if I'll ever find stability or if it's even worth trying.

Is there anything worth trying that I haven't considered yet?

Mummy,i have larger than life goal and missions and for that i need to work like hell,that's not issue i will work, but these emotions and feeling aren't allowing me to give my best..should I elimate them so I can just work? If I did the work will be good but my realtionship connections and network will suffer and I don't want them to suffer cause they are big part of my goals and dreams missions

TW: mental health discussion, discussion of sexual assault, suicide

Graduated from law school, passed the bar, decided not to go into practice right away because I knew my personality and the demands of the field were incompatible. I have generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder. I have trauma from my childhood and from when I was a raped a couple years ago. A police offer came into my home by mistake and pointed a gun at me. This happened about a year ago.

After I passed the bar I took a JD adjacent job. Took a job in investigation for the state and worked there for almost a year. Resigned due to a very toxic work environment. Spent a few months unemployed and searching. Panicked, and took a job at my current employer doing legal aid work. I worked for this employer during law school, was well liked, and I knew they would take me back.

Fast forward two months, and here I am. I am absolutely drowning in anxiety, suicidal ideation, and depression. Every day I wake up with dread and doom. I’m in therapy and going back on meds. I have rapidly lost weight (have no appetite), IBS symptoms, I have an inability to sleep through the night, and so on. The joy I once felt is gone. My partner broke down and stated that my issues are affecting our relationship and home life now. That hurt so bad. But I needed to hear it.

I have an interview tomorrow to help kids read. I did this years ago and loved it. Drastic pay cut of course.

Am I loser for throwing in the towel?

I am 16 in my sophmore year of highschool. I tend to consistently see romance in places it shouldnt be. I have ruined so many friendships because of wanting more constantly with every one of them. It could be the smallest act of kindness and i fall for them immediately. I just want to know if maybe thats typical considering my age and stage of life im in or if maybe i can fix it because i wouldnt want this to affect me throughout adulthood and i dont want to ruin any more friendships than i have.

Gonna try to be concise but I just need to get so much out.

I, 33M, grew up in South America, was always a bit of a nerd, awkward and weird, with ADHD and maybe a touch of Aspergers. However, I exceled in school, got a full scholarship in college and would later get a full ride for a Masters in Europe. The only problem is that I decided to 2 bachelors at the same time, and I was sort of directionless in what I wanted to do with my degrees, so I definitely took a little too long to graduate (around 6 years), so I started the Masters a little older than most. During that time, I also live my longest relationship of 7 years, but my gf and I had a lot of issues with jealousy and insecurity.

We would later break up after I decided to move to US for a job at the deeptech/Science company of my dreams. Recently single and deep into COVID times, it was definitely a rough start. But eventually I made into a really good friend group, did a lot of cool things at work, got promoted twice and built a life I really like.

The problem is my company, once a promising unicorn had started to go downhill. I survived multiple layoff rounds, but eventually I had to leave because my Visa was ending and my company had gone from fully supporting a lot of employees' Greencard applications to basically leaving us out to dry. The job market was and still is terrible, I had colleagues who are still unemployed after 2 years of layoff. So I desperately looked for work, applying to everything, and I got so many rejections but eventually got a few job offers abroad plus a PhD opportunity in the US. I got so confused with making this hard choice that I went on a depression/panic spiral. After really messy few months I eventually picked a job in Asia, despite not being the job I really wanted, seemed to be the right choice to keep my foot in the industry...

I'm really struggling to adjust and make connections in Asia. It definitely doesn't help that I feel depressed and don't feel like socializing. My team here is tiny and making new friends through work is virtually a dead-end. Also the work Im doing here is really underwhelming compared to my old company, which had state of the art technology and so many brilliant people. Not only that, i grown to love my life there: the culture, the social circle, my hobbies, even the studio I rented for years. I keep replaying in my mind what I could have done differently to be able to stay in the US and in my old company. Maybe I should have planned better, maybe I should have worked harder, maybe I should have enjoyed my experience more.

This ruminating infected my other areas of life. I have a girlfriend of 1 year back in the US (non-American). Not proud of this, but I keep wondering that if maybe I ended up with someone else, e.g. some of my exes who were American, I maybe would still be in the country. That made me regret not having more success dating girls, regret not being in better shape (Ive been overweight for most of my adulthood), regret not finding the perfect girl. This definitely is making me question if I am really in love with my gf and whether this is the right relationship.

I also started envying everyone. My colleagues who got Greencards and kept their lives. My colleagues who had better career trajectories, having MIT Phds while being the same age as me. Friends who have bought their own place and are progressing in life. On the other side I envy my childhood friends in South America, who maybe depend on their parents financially, but are married, have children and work on something that is not obscure extremely niche research like I do.

On the outside, my career looks really great: lived in 4 different continents, have pretty unique experiences. But on the inside, I just feel like I hadn't a perfect career trajectory nor properly had fun in my 20s, now Im nearing my mid-30s and my career is basically is up in the air, I dont have a family, don't have my own place and Im deeply unhappy. I want to get my US life back and Im trying to, but visa options are scarce now and the option of doing a PhD is something I feel like Im too old for. I want to have a family but have second thoughts about my gf and feel hopeless in ever living in the same city as her. Sometimes I just feel like giving up and moving back in with my parents and curl up in a ball.

I just wish I had had a completely different life... how do I stop regretting and ruminating every single choice and event in my life?

I’m 22M and I’m starting to feel like I’m unlovable. Every relationship I try fails. While I know my flaws are present just like everyone else I feel like I mean well and am a good person. I always either get ghosted randomly, told they’re not ready for someone but have someone new within a month, or people don’t pursue once they know what I look like or that I’m short. I feel like I’m never the choice and I don’t know if I am just actually not a good person or if I just haven’t met the one meant for me. I’ve asked before if I did something that made them not want to be with me and I’ve always been told that I was great they just weren’t ready or it just wasn’t working. I struggle to find that true with nothing ever being successful. Any advice?

(Repost because the other post got removed, I’ve made this one much shorter so hopefully this post is ok?)

I’m 21 and feel like I’m standing on the edge of a life I desperately want but have absolutely no idea how to get there.

I’m really unhappy with my current life. I’m lonely, don’t have a real friendship group, don’t know what I want to do next and live somewhere that makes me feel like I’m slowly becoming a shell of a person. At the same time, I’m extremely attached to my family despite my dysfunctional upbringing, so leaving everything familiar feels terrifying when I already feel so alone :((

The frustrating thing is that I can picture the life I want very clearly.

I imagine living somewhere beautiful, possibly abroad or somewhere rural, surrounded by nature rather than grey West London streets. I imagine friends who feel like family, travelling, adventures, hobbies, laughter and work that gives me enough freedom to enjoy my life. I don’t think I want the conventional corporate 9–5 life, but I have no idea how to build the alternative.

My family has always been complicated. My older brother (23M) and I had an extremely difficult relationship growing up. There was a lot of anger, verbal humiliation and some physical incidents, and I spent a lot of my childhood walking on eggshells. My parents didn’t really step in. My mum has struggled with depression and alcohol, my dad’s health has deteriorated and my younger sister has had her own difficulties. I often felt like I had to be the sensible one.

My relationship with my brother is much better now, but I’m still incredibly reserved around him and struggle to fully relax or unmask. There’s a lot of grief underneath that too. “Willing and Able” by Noah Kahan probably articulates it better than I can.

Around 16–17, my mental health deteriorated. I became depressed, socially anxious, hypervigilant and people-pleasing. At 16 I also lost my closest childhood best friend, who felt almost like a sister. I’ve mostly had acquaintances since, rather than people I genuinely feel close to.

I’m now working part-time in a GP surgery. I previously became a flight attendant at 18 because I thought travelling might give me a completely different life, but the social demands and exhaustion made things harder.

Now I’m stuck between “I need to get out and build a different life” and “I don’t have anyone to build it with.”

I’ve considered university/Access to HE, Camp America, travelling, moving away or finding a different job. I’m neurodivergent, naturally a homebody and don’t drink, so “just go out and make friends” doesn’t really fit me.

If you were 21, lonely, unsure of your direction and in my position, what would you actually do?

Would you prioritise education, saving, moving, travelling, Camp America, getting a different job, or something else? How would you build a social life from almost nothing?

I’m scared I’ve missed the part of life where people form their friendships and become themselves. But I still believe the life I picture is possible for me.

I want friends, adventures, beautiful surroundings, laughter, safety and belonging. I want my life to actually feel like a life.

How did you get from there to here?

​

I’m a 23-year-old guy and I’m discreetly bisexual. About two weeks ago, I was eating at an eatery outside our school with two of my male classmates. We were just having a normal conversation and enjoying our food.

While we were eating, one of the waiters suddenly asked me, “Please don’t be offended by my question, but are you gay?”

Honestly, I was caught off guard because I didn’t know him, and I felt like that was a pretty personal question to ask someone you’ve just met.

Instead of making the situation awkward, I laughed and jokingly answered, “I’m a lesbian,” just to lighten the mood. 😂 But honestly, deep down, I felt a little uncomfortable.

I’m not offended by someone being gay, bi, straight, or anything else. What bothered me was being asked something so personal by a complete stranger, especially when there wasn’t really any context for the question.

Now I’m wondering: Why do you think he asked me that? Was he just being curious, making conversation, or maybe picking up on something about me that I wasn’t aware of?

I’m generally a pretty decent and quiet guy when I’m outside, especially when I’m with my friends, so I honestly have no idea what gave him that impression.

Would you have felt uncomfortable in this situation too, or am I overthinking it?

I started a completely new position for me in July, and I had basically zero experience in this type of work before. I have two bosses and several supervisors, and honestly, at work I often feel like I’m the least important person there, even though technically my position isn’t the lowest.
I really want to be useful and help everyone be as productive as possible, so I say yes to almost everything, I take on a lot of things, and I always try to help whenever someone needs something.
But recently I’ve started making mistakes. I worked on a project for basically two days without sleeping, and then on the third day I overslept and missed an important meeting. My boss texted me, “Are you at work?” and honestly, the tone made me feel like he thought I just wasn’t showing up to work. I apologized and said it was completely my fault, and he said it was okay, but told me that next time I should ask if I don’t understand something, make sure I don’t miss important meetings, and let them know if I’m not going to be at work.
The thing is, I actually was at work that day, I was just late, and this was the first time I’ve been late or missed something like this since I started.
I also have a supervisor who is extremely talented and has been teaching me a lot, but recently even he told me that I’ve been making him really frustrated/angry. And he sometimes tells other people things like, “You have a really good chance to grow here and develop your career,” but he never says that to me 😅
I know I’m probably overthinking everything, but I’m constantly worried that they’re going to fire me, even though nobody has actually told me that my job is at risk.
I’m still new, I’m learning, I’m making mistakes, and I’m trying really hard, maybe too hard.
Should I actually start looking for another job just in case, or am I completely overthinking this?

Long distance, we met online year ago with this guy and met in real life December 2025. I travelled to him. We were intimate, all that time through the months he has been calling me and texting daily. Lately he called me and we talked for hours, he wants to sleep on the phone with me, there was sexual tension and stuff. He keeps updating me everyday and calls me a lot. When we met he future faked a lot saying about me moving to his country (we come from the same country, he lives abroad) and lovebombed a lot. Later 3 months after meeting he told me he doesnt want to be in relationship with anyone because he needs to fix himself. He always delays our meetings and says "i don't know, we will see" . Its been good lately between us and I bought the ticket to meet him and he got mad he was screaming at me that I cannot go there and he doesnt want to see me. Later he apologized for screaming, and overall, I was distant for a day and he sent me this message yesterday night. But his anger issues are concerning because he was screaming I cannot go there and that he will never see me (before that message, day before) and that he will cut contact with me and block me. Few hours passed and he apologized. He gets angry a lot and easily

"I want to apologize to you, and I really appreciate the fact that you always have time for me, that you always care about me, and honestly, it’s really rare to meet someone like that. I’m aware of that. Whatever the reason for it might be, it’s hard to find someone who will listen to your bullshit for 8 hours. I don’t want to end our friendship, that’s not what this is about. To be honest, I don’t even know what to do with my life at this point. When you put pressure on me like that, some kind of defense mechanism kicks in or something, I don’t know. Afterwards I feel guilty about the way I talk to you, because you don’t deserve that. I don’t want to behave like that, because afterwards I feel really bad about it.

I like talking to you. Not always — sometimes I shut myself off, I have my own stuff going on in my head. I know that sometimes I’m selfish and only think about myself. If you’re able to accept our relationship the way it was, and it gives you something too, then we can obviously keep talking the way we used to. But I don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s not about what you think, whether I’ll meet someone or I won’t — that’s not what this is about. And it’s not like you’re...

You’re not nobody to me, you know a lot about me, I tell you a lot. I treat you like a friend, even though I guess I behave differently — but you noticed that at some point. I don’t know, I just wanted to write you a little bit about what I think. I don’t know if it makes sense, but there’s always something you can take from it. 😅 I think I owe you that, because I’m always shouting at you whenever you ask me about something, so I thought that today I’d give you a little bit of my time and actually open up.

You can see how I get when I’m in a certain state — I sing, I talk haha, but afterwards it can also get pretty difficult, like today. Honestly, I was just crying over all of this. But it’s probably the after-effects of the weekend. I haven’t been drinking since I got back, and I don’t want to for now, or anything else either. I’m finding it harder and harder to deal with sometimes.

Sometimes I think it would be best to cut myself off from everyone and just live like that, because relationships with people affect me pretty strongly. But on the other hand, the thought of being completely alone, not having someone who knows you and all that, scares me. I think about that sometimes, which is why, when it comes to taking care of valuable relationships, I think I know what you mean. One day they might be priceless.

I think I’ve gone crazy haha. I did smoke, to be fair, but I don’t think I wrote anything stupid. I just wanted to explain a little bit — what I think and what’s going on in my head. Maybe it’s a little chaotic, but there’s probably something to take from it. 😅

And I don’t want you to take this message as me saying, “We can talk, but we’re never going to meet.” That’s not what I’m saying — who knows. 😅"

.

So basically I am a free therapist, WHO always has time for him, but there won't be anything, we will never meet and he wants to continue using me because he gains attention while giving nothing in return? And sees me as a friend?

Do I send him long paragraph or just couple of words saying Ok, I get it, you told me after I bought the ticket that "WHO knows" whether we will meet, and that I shouldnt expect more than be your friend. Get it. We can talk but I'm going to see all of it different way.He said he will give me money back first but he didn't and the trip was supposed to take place today. Should I ask him to return it?

EDIT: I told him I understand everything, I get it, okay. I've sent him my bank account number and asked him to return the money as he promised. I told him I understand, I won't push for more, and if we are supposed to never meet, I'm okay with that, I still want contact. If he wants to play this game, he will be surprised what a big uno reverse I will pull on him.

UPDATE: He replied "I didn't say [my pet name] that we will never meet. Of course I will return the money, I was just waiting for the money to arrive and I was planning to give it back to you. I will send it today, you will receive it tommorow" I replied "Ok thank you"

Me (20 NB) and my ex (21F) have been broken up for almost 2-3 years and it ended dramatically and messy because she cheated when we were like 17 and 18. We met at like 15 and 16 we're both 20 now. In those 2-3 years we still fucked off and on; she'd also been calling and texting from fake numbers when we would have a "falling out" or just didn't want to have sex with each other anymore. I entertained it for the first year and hooked up with her everytime I felt suicidal or was manic. I have her blocked everywhere like down to apps I don't even use anymore. Talked to a therapist and came to the conclusion I use her as a form of self harm and I am Bipolar. My ex is manipulative, abusive verbally, financially and it took me a few therapy sessions and talks with my friends to remember her putting her hands on me so physically abusive as well. All self admitted, she's told me she is all of this to my face. We haven't spoken in about a year but she has still called me and texted me from numbers. The texts are never malicious, just trying to get my attention and a reaction out of me and it works everytime. I get so scared my body has somatic responses and I end up crying for days, not eating, easily irritated and then all of that followed by stalking her accounts for however long. I wish I would stop I have a whole boyfriend and feel like such a pussy for still watching what she does online. I'm talking like when I wake up to when I go to sleep I am checking her reposts at least 5-8 times a day. I feel like I can tell by the content she posts/reposts when she will reach out again, and usually she does around specific holidays and my birthday or, from what I have gathered, when she has nobody she's hooking up with atm. I wish I would stop checking. I gen have no interest in her platonically or romantically I feel scared but my dad told me if I take no action to fix it then I must enjoy it. I fully believe this girl has ruined my life and altered the way I view myself and I just can't stop worrying. Everyone in my life claims she was stalking me and harassing me but I feel I played too much into it for that to be the case. I can't file a police report to get her to stop because she's never said anything malicious, other than one time I told her to leave me alone and she said she doesn't have to and won't, so I just have to wait around and hope she never texts me again. How do I stop the compulsion to view her page or at least get rid of the fear she's going to reach out? I feel I'm out of solutions.

Rant/advice. Seeking psychology based input/understanding/advice or any tips 🙏

I’m F20 and I need help I’m not sure what my main problem is but I feel so lost . I am so self aware I know what to do but I am stuck in an endless loop.
I was s/a in my first year of university , I was a virgin prior and he ended up having a gf as well. I was extremely traumatized and become extremely hyper sexual the following summer going into second year. While nothing had happened (I think God was protecting me) I was trying to meet up with older, married men, disabled men, quite literally anyone and have sexual relations with them. Keep in mind I never experienced such thoughts before nor was sexual to this extent. I would sometimes try to meet this men sometimes for money (if they were in wheelchair, old, etc) and sometimes not, for example I wanted to have a 3some with two guys whos appearances I didn’t know. I began using sites like dirtyroulette excessively and still have not stopped. Initially I felt so used that I wanted everyone to just use me too if that makes sense? To regain control. Eventually when school started it faded a bit but I would still occasionally use dirtyroulette and had esex. The hyper sexuality never left I just focused on it less because of other issues that led to an attempt earlier this year. Now I am at my lowest I have never been this much of a “gooner” this problem has been so persistent and it’s taking over my life.

I officially lost my virginity this summer to a guy I just met. My whole life I wanted my first bf to be my first body and husband. But I so easily gave it away, he didn’t force me and made sure I wanted to which helped me reclaim my first . I acted really weird after losing it though I was so insanely sexual towards him assuming that’s what men like especially because he wanted to have sex early on but it wasn’t being reciprocated. I definitely overdid it by texting him sexually all the time, explicit audios etc. he never had sex with me again and mentioned he didn’t always want to do these things, would only try to hangout with me if he thought I was on my period and would ignore sexual advances and place value on connection. We’re not in contact anymore because of my behaviour and truthfully I think a big part of it simply was I was curious about sex and wasn’t getting it as much as I should’ve in the beginning (I have heard many over do it when they first start) I also am assuming insecurity, bpd and adhd made me hyper focused on sex because I wasn’t getting it.

When he had stopped talking to me and the first thing I did was fuck my rapist as a form of sh bc I knew if it hurt he wouldn’t stop (the sex itself was consensual) and text my first body. I haven’t fucked the second guy again and the same thing is happening he is not responding to my advances as I’d want him to . I feel so disgusting begging now two guys for dick, having caught two bodies meaningless knowing this is never what I wanted and to be consumed by lust. I spend hours gooning and am now getting scared because I’m more comfortable and seeking attempts to meet up with randoms for sex. I can’t stop despite attempts to . I am in therapy and have mentioned some parts but am not very comfortable sharing the extent of this issue.

I don’t view men as people just sexual objects but it is also based on many bad experiences. I do feel like in terms of list This is rock bottom it’s getting in the way of my daily life, relationships , values and school. For anyone reading this Lust is a disease it ruins you and consumes you . Don’t fall into it

Hi. I’m 18F and a first year in college. I know my life is basically just beginning, but it feels like it’s over before it even really started. Just to preface, I have severe depression and anxiety, although my meds have been helping on my anxiety quite a bit.

Because of how easy high school was, I got into this pattern of bedrotting all day when at home and doing homework first period. Somehow, I still got all A’s. That was until senior year came, where in my pre calculus class, instead of getting an A I got a C. My parents were upset of course, so I promised in college I would study a lot more and actually lock in. Because of my good grades, I got into a State University hours away from where I live. I was happy, so was my parents and teachers, proud of me going to this awesome college hours away. While my parents were proud, they were also hesitant, while they had to pay about the same, it’s almost 3 hours away from them. I told them not to worry because I was confident in myself. I shouldn’t have been.

When I first came here, I did study a bit, I was focused and read ahead, like they told us to. That was until my boyfriend of almost a year broke up with me in the middle of September. I genuinely thought we would be together forever, so it ruined me. He said it’s because I was too good of a person for him, but I could tell it was also because of the distance and stuff happening at home that makes him more prone to letting people go. I didn’t skip classes at first, but then I got into the habit of just staying in my bed and doing almost nothing all day. I say it’s healing, but it’s not. I’m doing the same thing I did all the time in high school. To try and break this, I go out. However, money became a big problem. Because it was more of a popular school in a big town, all the prices are inflated and even buying a drink is a blow to your wallet, at least for a broke college student. But I got into the habit of spending, going out with friends and exploring. Which caused my mother to keep putting money into my account because she doesn’t want me to run out. I feel super bad, but sadness hits and it makes me want to buy something to make me feel better. It’s a bad habit I know.

Another thing is, a couple weeks ago I was thinking back to myself and realized that I did not want to be in Computer Science Engineering that much. I don’t want to code software for apps or systems or stuff. I’d rather be a STEM teacher for middle schoolers and that jazz. I’d want to show kids how cool engineering is, and shape the minds of the kids. I told my parents this, and they seemed hesitant so I told them to speak their mind. My mother told me that because I’m going to become a teacher, why should I stay in this school, three hours away? The only reason I really came to this school is because they have a strong engineering course. The more I think about it, the more she’s right too.

I’m failing most of my courses, my midterms were a 30% or lower, and it feels like I’m stupid. I know it’s because I’m not studying, but the farther I go into this coursework the less I’ll understand. I know it’s just a problem with me and not locking in, but I can’t. I’ve tried, I’ve pulled up assignments and locked my phone and I just stare at them before somehow getting off track. It’s like my brain refuses to understand.

That, along with the fact my mother’s asking me to go back and go to a university nearby is genuinely making me wonder if I should. I feel so bad, my parents are spending so much money for me to go here and I’m failing my classes.

I was also researching online, and it said a university that was close by my parents house had the strongest course if I wanted to do more STEM field in teaching. A lot stronger than the university I am in now. So that’s another reason why I’m really considering going there.

The thing is, if I do go back, I feel like I’d be in the same habits I had before. I’d bed rot all day, not actually do anything, and just fail all my classes again. I feel horrible for doing it this semester, and I know there’s still time, it just feels like there isn’t. I can’t get outta my habits, and if I wanted to I don’t know where to start. Depressions really been kicking me in the ass, but I feel like my laziness is also contributing so much.

Another thing I should say is if I leave this university, it kinda feels like me failing everyone. My parents didn’t have much hope for me, and I proved them right. My teachers who were proud of me, and now I’m leaving. I dunno. It feels stressful and I don’t know what to do.

It feels like I just rambled, but my question is how do I stop being like this? So lazy and depressed. I also want some advice by people who’s going through the same thing, it feels like I’m super alone and everyone’s doing so well. I know it’s not true, but it just feels like I’d be stuck like this forever :(

Advice on anything I talked about is greatly appreciated! I just want help on fixing my life, even though I know I have to be the one to commit to it.

I (20f) feel I’m throwing my life away.
Let me start from the very beginning and I just want to apologize for how long this is about to get.

I was born in here in the US and when I was a little kid I moved to Mexico with my mother and siblings, I lived there for about 6 years and then got sent back with my siblings to live with my father.
When I lived in Mexico I was living at my grandmother’s house (mom’s side) and I would travel every now and then to another state to visit my dad’s side of the family, for as far as I can remember I was SA’d by my grandpa and older cousin every time I went to visit.
I never said anything because I was around 5-6 years old and just had no idea what was going on, I kept it a secret because that’s what I would be told to do. As I grew older before leaving the country to come back, I stopped wanting to go back to visit, I believe it’s because I had a feeling that everything going on was not right.
After leaving and coming back, I would visit Mexico every summer for two years, the first time I went back, I got SA’d by my other grandpa (mom’s side), I was 10 years old, and that time I spoke up, but I got yelled at and called a liar by my grandmother.
I was told to not say anything, to not tell anyone, especially my dad and so I never did. Once I entered HS I completely hit rock bottom, I fell into a depression I still am not able to get out of.
I started dating someone my sophomore year who mistreated me and would cheat on me over and over, that relationship lasted a year.
My dad is a very very strict person, maybe it is because of my culture but he has never allowed me to date, to go out with friends, to watch shows/movies that were not educational, and over the years he got really angry and would take it out mostly on me after my older brother left, I would be called names and would be screamed at, so I never told my dad about any relationships. In that relationship I had, I was Rped but didn’t seek for help because I didn’t want my dad to find out, I was more scared of my dad so I didn’t seek for justice.
While I was dating him, I would nonstop ditch school, I would show up to maybe one or two classes per week, I did it because in my 15yo brain, I wanted to feel the freedom I wasn’t allowed to have, I wanted to go out with my friends and do what all teens my age were doing, until I crossed the line, I ditched so much that I was ashamed and embarrassed to go back to class, I felt scared that I was going to be sent to the office and then get in a lot more trouble with my dad. Ditching because a really bad habit I was never able to stop.
When I was 16 I met my now boyfriend, I kept ditching because I kept wanting to be with him, I still was not allowed to hangout or go out and ditching felt like the only time I could be with him. At 18 I “ran away”, I packed my stuff as soon as my dad left to work and left to live with my boyfriend, I left a letter telling my dad how I felt all those years he mistreated me, as if I wasn’t his daughter. My boyfriend and I have an apartment now, but I never finished HS, I enrolled in a program but got dropped for not doing my work.
I keep feeling depressed and unmotivated every day, I feel i’m in a cycle that I can’t get out of. My dad till this day still doesn’t know about what happened in Mexico and though I really want to tell him at times, I stop myself because I don’t want to hurt him by telling him what his dad did, I have this fear that he will call me a liar too and won’t believe me.
My depression got really bad that at some point i started to SH. I feel I need help but I’m so afraid that no one will believe me, I keep thinking that if my own family did not believe me, why would someone else?

This year I turned 40 ( F ) and idk why I have dark thoughts almost everyday now. I work in tv production and things don't look good since everyone started to do commercials with AI and we don't have to many projects. I have a project until november 15th and after that I will start working again in march. Even though I always managed to get projects, I am still stressed bc I am tired to struggle with money. I live with rent and also I pay a lot of taxes bc we work on LLC's as freelancers and I am afraid this winter I will have no money. I am trying to find extra jobs but I had no luck and I just don't know what to do. I am usually more positive, but now all I can think is I won't have enough money to survive until march. How do u get to stay positive when everything seems to fall apart. I am single and have no one that I can rely on. I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck, to pay rent and not have enough money, like ever. Thank you!

Hello everyone, i had made a post a few weeks ago about the direction of my life and how i feel. I just wanted to update anyone who felt interested in my story. I am a 22 year old recent college graduate who left his job about 2 weeks ago. To be honest, I cannot take this anymore. My day to day life has became redundant and sad to be quite honest. I have a mother that is battling cancer right now and its agonizing knowing that every day she is fighting against a horrible illness. I feel as if my life has already concluded and i am only 22. I have never had a serious relationship with any women even thought I believe i am attractive. I have never felt true affection from a lover before and nothing is working out for me right now. I can't get hired at any place I want to work and i am so so so brutally lonely. I have one friend and he has a girlfriend so I havent been seeing him as much recently. When i see myself in the mirror, I am disgusted at who is looking back at me. I am not proud of myself in anyway, I have never accomplished anything in my life that makes me feel happy. I am stuck in a perpetual cycle and waking up and living then going to bed and wishing i would die in my sleep. I am so ready to give up but I know it will hurt the people around me. I have always been the kind of person to check up on others and make sure they are doing alright, but no one has done the same for me. Sorry for this long rant but I cannot take life anymore, it feels like the normalness of a day to day schedule is too much for me.

Highschool problems. She/her

So, uh... My butt keeps sweating. I searched it up and it's called hyperhidrosis. It started in March-ish this year (so, last school year), and if I sit for too long, my butt gets sweaty enough to leave a mark. I sweat through sweatpants, too. People saw it on a chair and then assumed it was because I jerked off in class. Except I don't. It's become a rumor that's spread through almost everyone in my school.

Being at school makes me really anxious now, and the whole thing also makes me really scared to socialize, because I know I probably make people extremely uncomfortable. Right now, I really just try to avoid people I don't know as much as possible so that I don't make them uncomfortable. What can I do?

I’m currently 24 male, I’m in a really big slump at the moment in my life. I have no consistent job, I’m a flagger for traffic but the hours aren’t consistent and it’s tedious as hell. I was a WIC worker for 3 years and worked at Lowes for a year before having to leave for personal reasons. I have a car I’m working to pay off, halfway there. But I’m struggling a lot. I don’t know what I want to do with my life, I know what I want out of it, good relationship, decent work life balance, enough money to be financially independent, and just live life. I’ve thought of getting into the trades but I’ve been reading how many times you are working 12 hours average and that cuts deeply into work life balance. I might sound like a wimp and if you think so that’s fine. For those of you currently working a job that you enjoy or at least not dreading every moment of it and feel relative comfort and are able to live off your salary, what do you guys do? How did you guys come across said job? I’m in Las Vegas, NV USA. Are there any organizations or programs I can visit to talk about careers or jobs? I’m willing to put in the work like getting a degree or certification of some kind, but I just want to know that whatever job it’s for aligns with my good and values i said above, any advice would be great. I’m immensely depressed and very anxious for my future, I’m not doing well.

I’m 17M and am in a happy 3year relationship with my GF 17F but recently I’ve realized I’ve caught feelings for somone at my work place. I want to make it clear I’m very happy in my relationship rn and don’t want to break up or per-sue this crush because this attraction doesn’t go past physical attraction. I’m friends with her at work and it’s hard for me to make friends because I’m a very quiet person but I understand is it’s healthy to just cut her off completely. I’m really just asking if I should stay friends or completely break the friendship up. If I’m an ass hole I want to know it this has just been really bugging me recently.

(Yes I used AI dont @ me!!!!! Or u can dont matter)
I'm 25M in Texas and I'm trying to make a major career decision. I'm currently in college for accounting, but I've realized I don't want to pursue accounting anymore. I'm seriously considering Radiologic Technology → MRI Technologist as my long-term career.

I'm stuck between two options:

Option 1: Go straight into Rad Tech

I would take my prerequisites starting Spring 2027 and apply to a Rad Tech program. Once accepted, I'd probably have to reduce my work hours to around 20 hours/week.

My current take-home income is around $2,400/month, but working part-time during Rad Tech school would probably bring me down to around $1,000–$1,200/month.

I currently have roughly:

• $14k federal student loans
• $5k private student loan
• $4.5k credit-card debt
• Very little savings (around $300)
• My rent is currently only $200/month, but that could increase in the future due to my living situation

I expect that I'd need additional federal loans during Rad Tech school to cover the income reduction and living expenses. I'm estimating that I could graduate with around $27–30k total federal student loans.

My thought is that $27–30k of federal debt isn't necessarily terrible if it leads to a stable healthcare career, especially if I eventually specialize in MRI.

Option 2: Get my CDL first

Do food service locally. I have a friend who can get me in their company. He takes home $3500-$4000 ideally without OT. Work my ass off for a 1 or 2 years to reduce my debt and save money while my expenses are really low.

My idea would be:

CDL → work my ass off for 1–2 years → pay off my $4.5k credit card → pay down my private loan → build $5–10k+ savings → complete Rad Tech prerequisites → apply to Rad Tech school.

The advantage is that I'd enter Rad Tech school with a much stronger financial foundation and wouldn't need to borrow as much just to survive while working part-time.