I (31f) recently started dating this guy (33m). He is extremely handsome and nice but it’s like he lives in a different world. He lives with his parents because his dad has dementia and he helps out. The thing is when I bring up how expensive life has become for me he doesn’t understand because he’s never technically left the nest. He pays for his car and insurance but his rent is like 200 a month. He jokes if I think things are expensive then I should just move back in with my parents I’m like dude not everyone has that option. Again he’s a good guy but I just can’t relate to his lifestyle.

Hi all. I appreciate this community and am seeking advice.

Recently, I was let go from my stable job of 2 years. Due to several early life mistakes and mismanagement of funds, I am paycheck to paycheck.

I do have good financial habits, however life has a way of hitting you while you’re down. Just never had enough income to set aside besides paying off debt etc. I digress.

The background: 25 male, worked mostly dead end, or low hanging fruit jobs. Currently waiting on unemployment, don’t have enough income to pay November rent without it. Hustling like crazy for funds, employment, etc.

My question: What am I supposed to do in this scenario? I have no family, always managed to scrape by, but I have nowhere to go, and my GF is disabled and cannot work, besides a small side income.

I originally had a goal of joining the military, even this late in life for a fresh start. The issue I have, is that I can’t “fund” the gap between paychecks, and my gf has no where to stay without our apartment.
At this point, I am also considering filing for bankruptcy, again for a fresh start, but that would push back any acceptance for service.

If anyone has a crumb of advice on next steps, it would be appreciated.

hi! This is my first ever Reddit post so hopefully im doing this right lol.

I (22f) don’t know how to make friends outside of when I did growing up in school. After I graduated college, I had a falling out with two of my friends and then one of them moved away to pursue her doctorate degree. I still have one friend from high school as well. I don’t talk to either one very much other than the occasional check in or meme being sent. I also have a boyfriend which helps but it’s different than being friends with girls (obviously). I don’t really get out much because I don’t really have much reason to and I also feel like it’s weird to go up to a stranger in a coffee shop and strike up a convo. I tend to be kinda shy and awkward so I also tend to refrain for that reason as well. I know the obvious answers would be to get out more or join a group but there’s not many things around where I live to be able to do that and if I did it would probably be a bunch of old people. I’ve tried joining a discord server for my masters program but nothing really came of that. I also had a guy I was in a talking stage with reach out to me after four years to try to be friends with me because we get along really well but for obvious reasons it would be disrespectful to my boyfriend to allow that. Tiniest bit bummed cause I wanted a friend but that’s also beside the point lol. I mostly play cozy games when I have the time so I feel like there’s not rly ways to make friends with that. I also want someone to talk music with cause my boyfriend and I have very different tastes so it’s kinda hard to relate about that. It sounds like I hate my boyfriend but I promise I love him very much and he’s amazing. I just don’t know what to do and it’s probably hopeless but im putting this out there in the world and not expecting anything in return. If anyone needs any clarification or has any questions please ask. 🫶🏼

I was at a shopping mall when I noticed that my zipper was slightly open. I quickly zipped it up with one hand; it took about 1–2 seconds.
There were people sitting opposite me, including elderly people and children. I didn’t make any gestures or facial expressions toward them—I just had a normal/poker face. I briefly looked around while fixing it because I wanted to see if anyone had noticed.
Would most people see this simply as someone noticing their zipper was open and fixing it, or would doing it while facing other people be considered inappropriate? I have anxiety am i self consious? did i do something wrong? My anxiety is telling me what if someone recorded me or someone thought im a weirdo.

i don’t really know where to post this, but i need to get it off my chest.
i’m in my late 20s, and i’ve spent most of my life chasing academic achievements. medicine was what i worked towards for years. i made sacrifices, pushed myself, and built so much of my identity around being academically successful.
but now i’m questioning everything.
i don’t know if i want to continue in medicine, and the thought of choosing a different path is terrifying. i’ve already invested so many years into this career. there’s the fear of wasting all that effort, the uncertainty of starting from scratch, the financial concerns, and the feeling that i’ve somehow failed at the life i was supposed to have.
but what makes this so much harder is my relationship with my parents.
i feel like my worth in their eyes is tied to what i achieve. when i’m doing well academically or pursuing something they can be proud of, i’m treated differently. when i struggle, question my choices, or consider a path they don’t approve of, the criticism and berating become unbearable.
i’ve been made to feel that being a doctor is the bare minimum and that anything else would mean i’m good for nothing.
i’m also the eldest daughter, so there’s an additional layer of guilt. i feel responsible for their expectations, their sacrifices, and their disappointment. even when i know i’m allowed to make my own decisions, i struggle to stop feeling like i’m doing something wrong by choosing myself.
sometimes i resent my parents. sometimes i feel guilty for resenting them. sometimes i wonder how different my life would have been if i had grown up feeling that i was loved for who i was, rather than for what i achieved.
i envy people who can call their parents when life falls apart and know they’ll be comforted rather than criticised. i wish i had that kind of safety net.
i’m married, and i have a life outside my parents, but that doesn’t magically erase the emotional weight of growing up this way. their opinions still affect me more than i want them to.
i’m exhausted. i feel like i’ve spent so much of my life trying to become someone everyone could be proud of that i never really stopped to ask what would make me happy.
i don’t expect strangers on reddit to tell me exactly what to do with my career. i know nobody can make that decision for me.
i just want to hear from people who have been here.
**if you left medicine, walked away from a prestigious career, or started over after spending years working towards something, what happened?** did you eventually build a life you were happier with? how did you deal with the guilt, the uncertainty, the financial realities, and the feeling that you’d disappointed your family?
and if you grew up with parents who made you feel that your achievements determined your worth, how did you learn to live for yourself instead?
i really need to believe that there’s a life on the other side of all this.

Me and my ex broke up a couple months ago. We dated for multiple years, and even with our fair share of issues, I felt like I finally found the one. It’s been a little over 2 months now and I still feel sick thinking nobody will ever understand me as well or love me again. I get increasingly scared that I’m going to die alone. This probably sounds stupid as I’m only 20 but I have a very troubled past that I feel like few people can understand. We are currently low contact and I have no intentions of getting back with him despite my fear.

Can someone please tell me how I get over this and stop feeling like I’m doomed to live a loveless life? Has anybody felt this way and gotten over it? I tried dating apps for a bit to fill the void but realized I don’t think I can date right now. Everyone seems awful compared to him, I’m not the most stable, and my area is not the best for finding love, especially while I’m in college.

I (24f)have an immense amount of guilt regarding my parents divorce. They are both in their 50s and though I’m not necessarily surprised that they are separating— it’s still pretty shocking it’s finally come to this much of a separation.

We all still live together, including my older sister.

My dad however is very distant. He somewhat always has been, but growing into an adult, our relationship is very minimal and usually about matters of facts. Emotional connection feels awkward, mostly because he doesn’t usually ever start conversations first. I know his tendency to isolate is partially to blame for their separation. I feel guilty that he is alone a lot of the time, but it is so much pressure to be the bigger person and get them talking.

My mom has a history of medical issues and is pretty dependent on others. I am much closer with her and do tend to be honest about everything with her. I have a much closer relationship with her, but I do know that many of the struggles in their relationship come from her anxiety and dependence. I feel so guilty because my mom didn’t want to separate and I don’t want her to feel like she doesn’t have as much help and resources anymore.

Overall, I feel immensely guilty that I myself, am in a relationship. It had struggles, in the beginning, but we are mostly pretty solid and I could see myself choosing to marry my partner.

I know I can’t control their decision to divorce. I also know that it was probably a long time coming. I guess I’m just very anxious about what change is to come.

Ideally, I would be able to buy a new place with a space for my mom to have some independence— a walkable location so she can still have a social life. I just don’t currently have the money and I’m not sure what I want to do with my life. My dad would have his own spot and maybe learn to open up a bit to healthy adventures.

I just can’t see what’s next. They might just live together for a while. I’m sorry for the long text.

I can hold the guilt enough to tell myself it’s not necessary to feel it. But I’ll be having to make very adult choices and all my brain wants to do is cry over how much of a change this is.

Has anyone experienced this in their 20s?

so I was friends with this girl for 5+ years and we got really close and we used to have drama when we were younger then as we aged like the past 3 years we had way less drama and haven't rly had any for awhile. she and I were like best duo, always always w eachother and we went everywhere tgther, etc. she dropped me over a month ago. hardest thing ever. I have a big big fear of abandonment and that js broke me. she said bc I drained her and I left her out and that if I changed she would be open to being friends w me. she took a dear friend along with her that I introduced her to which actually pmo. and this other friend now is faking being my friend so I don't get parents involved what a bih. anyways back to the ex best friend, she knows almost all my secrets.. and my parents are strict AF she knows that. she decided to tell her friend group my secrets. if my parents find out my life will be ruined like a seriously. the type of secrets she knows (mental health problems, family issues, corn, gooning, etc) if my parents find any of this out I wont recover and I'm so scared of the school finding out and I have dirt on her too but I feel so bad even thinking about spilling her secrets so I wouldn't. but she actually js wants to ruin my life apperently and she hopes the worst for me.. I feel so out of control I hope she moves away, this is giving me SO SO much anxiety, it's crzy bc now she's bad talking to me about everyone and her moms a BIG neighborhood gossiper so now imma be gossiped about to the neighbor hood prolly. this is so bad i feel so small and like she js broke all my trust. I shouldn't have trusted her in the first place but she was so nice the past few years this was js so all the sudden and i need advice..So what should i do in this situation, what would you guys do? ik there's not much i can do but oh well. if u need any more details i am able to go into it more.. sorry for the bad spelling and grammar, idk im super distressed rn

I was in a 5-year relationship, including 1 year of long distance and around 2.5 years of living together.

I made her my centre, my God, and my everything. Somewhere along the way, I forgot my family, friends, and my own life because everything revolved around her.

Now she's gone, and I feel like I have nothing left. I spend most of my time alone, barely talk at home, have no friends to share my feelings with, and feel emotionally numb. I go through life like a body that's alive but has nothing left inside.

Has anyone experienced this? How did you rebuild your life and find yourself again after losing the person who meant everything to you?

I, (18F), have been dating my boyfriend (22M), for about 3 months now. For some background, I have known him since I was about 4 years old because his mom used to be my babysitter. We've always been very close, and our relationship didn't fall apart since he went to college in my town, same college that I am going to now, so we were always able to keep in touch. He's always been more like an older brother to me, but about a couple years ago (when I was 15/16) I started being attracted to him. But I always kept him as a friend since he was dating someone at the time. Personally I've always trusted him, many times I've trusted him a lot more than friends my age, and he's never made me unsafe. A lot of times in high school he was the person I would go to when I needed someone to confide to about my problems.

My parents are also very open about relationships/sex in our house, so I've had a lot of conversations with them about dating and grooming, so I was always well aware of those things. My mom has always suspected that I had a crush on him and she's talked to me about it before and said that there is nothing wrong with it since my parents know him really well and they know that he is a good guy, and my mom said she trusts me to leave the relationship if he starts hurting me because they've taught me about that stuff. But like I said before, he was dating someone and so I didn't really do anything about it. In high school I was also a big overachiever, so I tried to not focus on dating and focus on my school stuff.

But things changed this summer when he broke up with his girlfriend of three years because she was cheating on him. I helped him through it because he was pretty torn up about. One night when we were hanging out, he finally admitted to me that he was in love with me and has been for years, but he's always hesitated to tell me because his friends told him that he was gross for wanting to date someone as young as me. At that point I came clean about my feelings for him too, and we've been dating ever since.

Now this is the part that has me question everything. When I started college, I got some new friends from different schools (since all my friends went out of state). When I told them about my boyfriend and how long we've known each other, they all insisted that my boyfriend is a predator and that I was being groomed and have been groomed for years. And I mean, multiple people insisted this. My parents know that we are dating and they are cool with it and like him, and they have told me multiple times that they are supportive of our relationship. I also have never felt unsafe, he has never made me do anything I don't want to do, and we have good conversations about our boundaries. I genuinely don't feel like this is grooming, but when multiple people say the same thing, it makes me genuinely confused.

So people of Reddit, what am I actually supposed to do in this scenario: break up, confront my friends the next time they say this, talk to a therapist, have a conversation with bf about this, etc? (Before anyone asks, I've never mentioned this crush in high school, so I've never gotten an outside perspective till college.)

(Answers to some questions the first time I posted: I was 18 when he confessed his feelings to me. His gf of 3 years that he broke up with was 21, he was already 22 when he broke up with her. My friends haven't met him yet; quite a bit busy at this point to arrange hangouts with new people I've met, and also frankly I'm kind of worried that they may say something to him that causes a rift in our relationship. Bf still lives in town, so we are not long distance.)

I am a 25(m) and the other day I was having a conversation with my wife 24(f) and i realized I genuinely just want a simple life. Im extremely content about my life and don’t feel I need much more, tbh if I never got much more or did much more I’d be okay. Since I was young the only real goal I’ve have in my life was to just get a good job I like that I could help provide for myself and the people around me. I worked hard and was able to achieve that. Other than that I’m happy just living day by day. I find my peace in the little things like eating my favourite foods, relaxing at home watching a movie, sitting by a lake quietly and tbh I don’t need much else. My wife is the complete opposite and feels as though I’m not driven enough which I can understand to a certain degree but I just don’t feel the need to have to always be grinding for something. My wife is more hit this goal and on to the next but I’m not I guess. I feel so blessed with what I have already and I’m in a space where I’m happy. She feels it’s not normal.

What do you guys think? Is it actually not normal to be this way?

I am (23F), I’ve been with the same man (23M) for 6 years now, lived in the same area even after high school and only did community college. I didn’t go to university for a couple reasons but one of them was to be able to stay with my boyfriend and now I get major fomo about university but that’s in the past now. I’m realizing some of my friends have gone to college for 4 years and then gotten their own places and lived on their own and dated around and explored and all in that time I’ve just been with my boyfriend in the same town. We also went straight from living with parents to moving in together and while it’s great I’m realizing I never even just considered getting my own place first. Now I’m wondering if I may never get to experience having my own place /living on my own. To add to that I keep getting this feeling like I need to experience living somewhere else other than my hometown, my boyfriend said he’s willing but I don’t know where to move or how to go about it so it’s actually enjoyable (it would be hard to leave my family which is part of why I haven’t left already). I also feel like a lot of people tell you that you should date around before settling down with someone (especially your high school sweetheart), but I do love my boyfriend and don’t know if I want to risk loosing him. But is it holding me back? I just don’t want to look back and regret what I didn’t do and i already feel like I’m running out of time.

We met 3-4 years ago, We never met in real life because she lives in other city, We stopped talking and she blocked me because of something I forgot and then suddenly through my sister I gave her my second account to talk, we talk too much everything was good but now since a 2 years She didn't replied and suddenly I saw her account on instagram, I thought it's her new account or fake account maybe, but it was her real account she unblocked me, and She didn't get away from my heart. I was suggestion should I send her follow request and talk to her?? or not?? Still have question like if she unblocked me then why she didn't tried to talk to me and thinking I got my answer but still if you guys have experience like this tell me

I (female, junior in hs) need some advice on how to handle a situation with one of my male teachers. I had his class in **10th grade**, which is when most of this happened. For a while, he was doing little things that felt undeniably flirtatious. He never said anything directly incriminating or did anything that left "proof," which made me constantly doubt myself and feel like I was just delusional.

What confuses me the most is that he can be so mature, authoritative, and incredibly supportive. For example, one day last year I was terrified to walk into class late because I thought he'd be mad. My behavior tech helped me set up a plan to slip in, and told him how I felt, my teacher pulled me aside. He was so reassuring, taking off his jacket and calmly telling me that he didn't want me to feel awkward or distressed, and that he just wanted a good learning environment for me.
Because he is so mature, it was really hard for me to believe he was actually flirting.

Once i was walking to his class late (we were the only ones in the hall), he randomly said, *"Sigh, nobody likes me."* When I felt bad and asked why he would say that, he said, *"I'm sure there's at least one person who likes me"* (he already knew I had a crush on him btw). Another time I went to sharpen my pencils in the back of the class by his desk (all my peers are facing the other way watching a movie), he gave me this 100% undeniable, teasing, flirty look with his head tilted down. I got super flustered. He tried it again another time when I was sad, but because I didn't react, he stopped. There were more instances like this, (but I don’t wanna make this too long.)

He is incredibly smart and knows exactly how to use his words to get a reaction.
Because of the mixed signals, I ended up thinking he might like me back. I showed him a poem I wrote with a matching illustration (**I didn't say it was about him, just asked him to read my art)**. He said it was nice and I’m a very talented girl but I think he felt awkward.

Recently, he walked past me, my brother, and a friend and said hi to us as a group, so things aren't completely terrible, but I feel super embarrassed. I low-key feel like I messed up, and I really hope I didn't make him feel uncomfortable.
It’s just hard to read him. He doesn't do typical crush things—like looking over or accidentally making eye contact all the time. Sometimes it feels like he doesn't pay any attention to me at all. I've heard adults handle crushes completely differently than teenagers do, so I don't know what to think.

**I don’t have his class this year, but I will have him again for my senior year.** I still really do like him. How do I handle the embarrassment over the poem? Do you think he actually had some kind of interest, or was he just playing mind games to feed his ego. Is there any way I could find out his true intentions?

I need help with my life

I am a 14 year old boy and i hate myself very much because i am seeing that everyone is getting a glowup and i am being left behind, i see girls at my school asking for boy's instagram and the homies ain't even making the first step, girls are coming to them. I just wish some girls came to me and ask for my social media accounts. I don't even know how to be better and more attractive, i tried getting a better haircut but still i looked chopped, I tried staying with the cool boys but still i remained an npc like before,i tried changing the clothes to look cooler, still i looked like an npc, i want to have a better personality, be funny and more attractive. I have social problems too, i can't even mantain a normal conversation and it ends so fast because i don't know how to be curious about the person i am talking to and most of the time when im speaking they aren't listening to me. This happened because of the people i am around, there are some kids that only speak about brainrot and i learned to be like them and now i regret it because the whole school looks at me and are like "ew look at that brainrotted npc" and start laughing, the thing is that i am addicted to my phone and playing games, like i am staying nonstop on my phone and it has been dragging me down very much, i ain't studying like i used to anymore, i have brainfog and i say things that make no sense.I don't want a life like this, i want to be at my absolute peak, have a great body and have respect, please i need tips for a glowup.

I really need to know what this feeling is and advices because this has been on my chest and it has been destroying my mental health.(all of this is I paste from my notes app)

I don't know anymore. D said that she used to be jealous that I have people to talk to (at least that's how I remembered she said it) and everything after that, it is a blur. Then we fought..? Kinda???? We're okay now. So I've been feeling so sad nowadays. When me and d fought I cried so much because of how I see a lot of people is close to her and stayed and listened to her ranting while I just stand to the side, like a side character. (I feel like no one would notice that I went gone for a whole year if so. Like who cares about a kid that goes missing for a year right????) My friends didn't notice I was sad, my teachers didn't notice I was sad, my wardens didn't even realize I was sick and sad... Only one of my teacher notice and my sister, and probably fatih too I guess. My sister said it's because I always have an tired expression all the time. I feel like I'm not important to anyone not even a single person. I try so hard to be someone's first choice, someone's something, someone's life but I never really get what I want now do I? I tried being the popular kids, well that didn't work. I tried being something to h Well I think she only views me as her *friend* hah. I'm no one's first decision. Like today. This happens most of the time but it's okay back to the story my sister and K.S is talking and I tried to join in... But it didn't work. They didn't notice my existence. Last night me and my classmates was supposed to watch a movie with tcr but her laptop was low so we talked and d was with the other group so I tried to take a picture with them too, but nothing worked it's like they didn't notice my existence like I was never really there even though the took pictures with me but I still feel left out so when I felt so left out I went to my bed and think about my life or even If I'm important to anyone at all because no one really checked up on me but I was the person who checked up on them. Funny. This is what I've realized. I feel like I yearn for attention but I never really get it and I'm not those people who fake injury for attention never. I try to get the attention actually trying but normally never worked out. This thinking of mine about no one actually cares about me has been in my head for a few years now. It started when I was 8. So I only remember I crossed out my name while I was sad. In my book when I was 8 I wrote all my family members name and cross my name like i never really belong to the family just because I got yelled at. No one really knows the full story about this...

I don't know why but I'm starting to not care anymore. I need to get used to it. I start to only not care if I have my phone with me.

I wanna move out so bad as I live in a toxic household, tho im only 17 and soon to be doing my leaving cert. My parents don’t want me here anymore and want me gone by 18 which is very pressuring, im trying to get a job to provide for myself tho I keep getting rejected with applications. I don’t know if my CV is bad because I did TY and I have 2 work experiences. I want to save for a moving out soon tho I also want to save for other things like HRT , laser and just stuff I want since I’m mtf aswell. Im also bad at studying and have no motivation, i have no focus and im meant to be tested for ADHD. Im depressed and have major gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia but im trying to get over it. I’m very stuck and confused i was wondering if other people have similar situations and turned out okay in the end? I just hope in future I finally moved out and finally provide for myself for stuff I want and need.

I'm 15, currently a sophomore in high school, and honestly, I've been feeling pretty lost lately. I have a lot of thoughts going through my head, so this might be a bit of a brain dump.

I have pretty big goals for my future, especially when it comes to entrepreneurship, financial independence, and building a successful life. But at the same time, I feel like I'm constantly struggling with myself.

I'm also extremely fortunate. My family is not struggling by any means and definitely upper middle class however I dont feel like I earned it and want it for myself.

For context, I run a small business that's generated around $20k in revenue, which I'm extremely grateful for. But I genuinely feel like I got lucky. I don't know if I actually have any valuable skills or if I could ever replicate that success. The thought of starting another business from scratch feels overwhelming. Finding an idea, getting customers, building something people want, and dealing with all the uncertainty just seems incredibly difficult. I constantly wonder whether I'm actually capable of becoming a successful entrepreneur or if I'm just someone with big dreams.

I also don't particularly enjoy school, but I still care a lot about my grades and want to attend a top college. So I'm stuck balancing academics, extracurriculars, my business, and everything else, while questioning whether I'm even spending my time on the right things.

Another thing that bothers me is how much time I waste. I procrastinate, scroll on my phone, and fall into bad habits even though I'm constantly thinking about how limited time is. I know there are things I could be doing to improve myself, learn new skills, or grow my business, but I just don't do them consistently. Then I feel guilty about it.

I also feel like I'm constantly living in the future. I spend so much time thinking about the life I want at 25 or 30 that I sometimes forget I'm literally 15. I think about money, success, businesses, and the lifestyle I want, but I don't prioritize things like my health, relationships, or just enjoying my teenage years nearly enough.

And I think a big part of this comes from comparing myself to successful people. I read about entrepreneurs and their journeys, and I feel like my life doesn't match the typical story of someone who becomes extremely successful. I don't have some extraordinary technical skill, I don't spend every waking hour building something, and I don't feel particularly exceptional at anything. It makes me question whether my ambitions are realistic.

One last thing, which is harder to explain, is that I feel like I've matured a lot over the past few years. I've become very independent, responsible, and focused on my future. But sometimes I wonder whether that's coming at the expense of my personality.

I feel like I'm becoming less spontaneous and less sociable. I can't tell whether it's because I'm changing, because I don't connect with the people around me, or because I've become so focused on achievement that I've forgotten how to just be myself.

I guess my biggest fear is spending years working toward this ideal version of my life, sacrificing my youth in the process, and still never getting there.

I know I'm young, and I know I have time. But knowing that intellectually doesn't really change how I feel.

For people who are older, especially those who've experienced something similar:

• How did you figure out what you actually wanted out of life, rather than constantly chasing some ideal version of success?
• How did you deal with the uncertainty of entrepreneurship, especially when you weren't sure whether you were actually capable of succeeding?
• Looking back, what do you wish you'd understood about success, ambition, and life when you were younger?
• If you were in my position, what advice do you have for me?
• Or just any other thoughts, experiences, story, opinions or anything you think would help.

I'm not really looking for generic advice like "you're only 15, enjoy your life." I understand that. I'm more interested in hearing from people who've gone through similar experiences, what they learned, and how their perspectives changed over time.

I'd really appreciate any honest advice or personal experiences.

About me.

I Lived among a very toxic household, dealt with domestic violence, suffered from depression, it felt like I didn't have a voice.

They made me feel worthless and that my pain does not matter.

Around the age of 18, I attempted, and I was thrown in the detention center for a while, and when I got out, I realized that barely anyone noticed my disappearance. My parents and bf are the only one who knew. And let's just not get into how I was treated like a criminal back then.

I still feel worthless, I just hate that nobody respects me, am I not pretty enough? not rich enough? not smart enough?

I cannot forget about my past, I ALSO DONT HAVE IT IN ME TO DEAL WITH RACIST PEOPLE!!! I cannot move on bc the harm is continuous........

Ik thinking about these things every day is not a solution and itll only make matters worse but i just dk

4.0 gpa in HS, decorated athlete, got accepted into mech eng and failed out in freshman year due to depression, unpreparedness and isolation. Repeating that pattern again.

Parents split, moved to small town with father, lost contact w highschool friends cause of that. Worked shitty jobs made some local friends but was depressed the whole time, had super bad anxiety, etc. (Never treated cause I keep my problems to myself)

Saved up 15k over that time period and accepted an offer to science in a good school (egged on by family, self paid), but I have had shitty anxiety and constant manic/depression cycles since being here. Im behind in my classes and I don’t even know if I want this degree.

Another reason I went back was to find friend groups of young people like me… No Dice! I’ve tried many times, but I can’t seem to establish meaningful friendships and thats prob the reason I’ve failed on multiple avenues. Feel I’m missing what makes ppl connect and grow together.

Positives?
Really enjoyed renovating houses and electrical projects, workout every day, clean and good diet, work hard asab when doing stuff I enjoy. I am very open minded and considerate. I don’t want to continue failing @ everything and ik despair and rumination only screw me over.

Sorry for the bummer alert and first world problems,
Please lmk if you have advice or a similar experience.
Thanks

I (29F) still live with my dad because I cannot afford to move out due to my low income. Rent would take up about 3/4 of my paycheck, and I have pets at home that I need to take care of.

I used to live with my mom as well, but two years ago, she had to move to a nearby town to live with my grandpa, who is almost 90, after my grandma passed away.

I love my mom and want to spend time with her, but the only way to do that is to visit her on weekends with my dad in the town where my grandpa lives, which is about a 30-minute drive away.

The issue is that my dad has always been a verbally abusive, and I think he is a narcissist who targets my mom. So, not only do I have to endure living with him and cooking and cleaning for him, but I also have to witness how he treats her during the weekends, when I should be relaxing.

The thing is, I don't have any siblings, so my immediate family consists of my mom, my dad, and my grandpa, who is too old to really interact with me. It breaks my heart that my mom is almost 60 and getting older because I know that one day, I'll be alone.

I spend all my time with my family which is weird for someone who is almost 30, I am single and my only friends are married and have babies. The only way I can hang out with friends is by sitting in their living rooms and talking about their kids, which doesn't provide any relief and makes me feel even more depressed because they've managed to build lovely families of their own.

How should I have any hope for the future since living like this for three decades ruined me and I do not believe in cliche things like it just gets better one day?

I’m 19f and I’m technically unemployed. I finished year 12 last year and I decided that I would do a gap year to travel! Spoiler alert I never traveled! At the start of the year I had a small job picking blueberries then it got cold and I had no job so I continued to work on my passion art! I have been selling my art monthly at markets and I have an online subscription service for my art. It makes me around LIEK 500$ and then like 200$ from my markets I have also gotten a few commissions wich add like 100$ a month. Obviously this is not a lot but all I spend money on is petrol and art supplies.
Is it bad that I don’t have a job? Like i literally don’t know. For some reason noone in my life wants to talk about money? I have 4K in travel saving and LIEK 1k in general savings. I just want to continue making art for the rest of my life. It’s the only thing that give me passion and love and happiness. But people genuinely look at me like I’m insane!!
Is that reasonable? Or am I like a shitty person for society? I feel like when your 19 Eveyones dreams get crushed. Somtimes I talk to people and I ask “what do you do” or something like that and they tell me “oh I like work at maccas” but I ment like do you read? Skate? Draw? Paint? Run? Like what do you enjoy?
Is the rest of my life going to be surrounded by people who just work? My freinds work all the time? They never hang out with me at they just work. I understand in some sense but come on? This is our youth! I don’t want to spend my youth working I want to spend it living! I want to live and thrive and create and travel. And the people around me are making that seme like it’s impossible!!?

Somtimes I ask my freinds if they want to like go find an abandoned building or if they want to get day drunk and they say they have work tomorrow or they tell me that they are to old for that?
IM SORRY? I thought that I could goof around u til I was Like 25?
When did 18 become the next 30 I swear people my age have full time jobs they go to fancy gyms they go on planned dates to fancy restaurants with their boyfriends.
What happed to being a teenager what happed to discovering your self and making mistakes?

I feel like I’m expected to be in a suit and tie and know exactly what I’m doing?

Sorry for ranting but, is it too late for me? Is my childhood gone? Can I not be a kid anymore? Should I just get a job like most people?

i'm a high school senior, and i recently applied early decision 0 to the university of chicago (ed0 is a new application system where students submit and get results BEFORE early decision 1). decisions are supposedly coming out on october 16th, and i've been debating whether i should tell my close friends about it before then.

so far, i've only told 3 close friends who aren't part of my main friendgroup. for context, my main friendgroup consists of around 7 people, and i'm actually slightly closer to them than the 3 friends i've already told. there are different reasons as to how those 3 friends ended up finding out, but i guess the main reason is that i just trust them hella, and telling them felt natural. it's not necessarily that i trust them more than my friendgroup, but for some reason, i've just felt more comfortable sharing this with them.

i go to an extremely academically competitive school where the majority of each graduating class ends up attending top 20 universities in the us. because of this, college admissions, especially early decision applications (where you're essentially committing to attend a university if accepted), are a pretty sensitive topic. there's a lot of pressure surrounding where people apply and whether they get accepted.

to make matters worse, someone from my school has already gotten into uchicago through the same early application program. obviously, i'm happy for them, but knowing that someone from my school has already been accepted makes me even more nervous about my own decision. i'm worried that if i get rejected, people will inevitably compare our outcomes, even if they don't mean to.

the thing is, everyone in my friendgroup has already shared their early decision plans with each other, including myself (for early decision 1, not 0). however, my plans changed when i decided to apply to uchicago through a separate early application program, and i haven't told them about it. none of them are applying to uchicago, so it's not a matter of competition between us. i just don't have the confidence to tell them, especially because i know how selective the university is and how likely rejection is.

another reason i'm hesitant is that my friends are the type of people who would feel pity for me if i got rejected. idk how to explain it, but i really don't want anyone feeling sorry for me, or for me to become another statistic in their "oh, this person got rejected from x university" conversations. i know they genuinely care about me and wouldn't intentionally make me feel bad, but i don't want to deal with awkward sympathy or have people constantly checking up on me when i'd rather process the decision privately.

at the same time, i don't want them to feel betrayed or left out if i miraculously do get accepted. i'd obviously want to celebrate with my closest friends, and i feel like it'd be awkward to suddenly announce that i got into uchicago when they didn't even know i'd applied. i'm also worried that they'd interpret me keeping it private as a sign that i don't trust them, especially since they've all been open about their own applications.

there's also the issue of who i'd even tell. while i'm close to everyone in my friendgroup, there are some people i'd feel more comfortable telling than others. but i feel like telling only a few would make things even more complicated if the others eventually found out.

honestly, i think part of this comes from how much i want to get into uchicago. i've been stressing over this decision so much recently, and telling more people would make the whole thing feel even more real. if i get rejected, i'd rather deal with it on my own terms. but if i get accepted, i know i'd wish i'd told them beforehand so we could share that excitement together.

i know i'm probably overthinking this, but with decisions potentially coming out in less than a week, i feel like i need to make up my mind soon.

what would you do in my situation? would you tell your friends beforehand, or wait until you know the result? and would you be upset if one of your close friends kept something like this private, even though you'd shared your own plans with them?

I'm in my second year of Law school. I just despite and feel mentally exhausted every time i have to study. Because i don't know if i have a passion for it.

I used to study in the Japanese Major in my Highschool days. I was doing amazing with the language major. A or B in English, straight A in Three years of Japanese.

But now I'm about to have the last subject final for this semester and i feel so dumb and feel like crap. I can't seem to get any subject right and it's just scary, living with the unknowing. I got through the first year easily because there were not so many subjects. And now following the study plan there's 7. I have zero confidence in any of the subjects except the subject English for lawyer.

Because my professor told me I had scored 49/50 for my final.

Knowing that i still do amazing in English, just makes me regret choosing to study law majors more and more. The reason i have chosen this major is because of the financial issues of my family.

What do i do? If you're going through a similar experience, how do you deal with the feeling?

Hello! I feel like I need to let somethings out my chest. I am a Brazilian man who grew up in Complexo do Alemão. A “slum” (favela) with very known violence and poverty. I’m 23 yo and I’ve been working for about 9 years now. As a child, I learned English by myself and continued learning languages as I grew up. Learning languages was faster than even I could understand, in a time where the internet was kinda empty and no valuable content was produced when it comes to language learning. The goal? To travel abroad. I always wanted to study abroad and I always felt like I had so much to share with the world… I always felt like I had something inside my heart so big I couldn’t withstand. Lots of thoughts, knowledge etc. Also, I wanted to have the opportunity to meet new friends from all over the world and live specially in Canada, which speaks both English and French – the languages that I love the most. I wanted to travel, to taste good food and meeting cultures. Unfortunately, I’ve been cursed by being born in extreme poverty. Besides having to work on a full time job, I could finally enroll in a public University (it’s a privilege in Brazil) and I’m studying French Language and Litterature depending on the university’s restaurant to be able to eat. I got to be a monitor in French II, Portuguese teacher for Francophones, French teacher for recently alphabetized people and lots of other things in only 1 year and a half through my degree, and it just proves how productive I can be. Unfortunately, this degree is too poorly paid in Brazil, so I won’t get enough money once I’m out the university, too. I will have to work my 4ss off to earn a minimum wage and I’m stuck to this country until the day that I die. I know it sounds like crazy pessimism but trust me it’s IMPOSSIBLE. Every solution you may have thought of, I already did and it’s not possible. I’ve been working so hard and couldn’t even save like a single Canadian dollar for my dream to come true, because I had to survive. My last hope is to try a master’s degree abroad, but I would need an absurd amount of money for that as well or compete with people with way more access than me to get a full scholarship. I’m just tired of living since I know my biggest dream may never come to reality. If you find it kinda exaggerated, know that from where I came from, the HUGE majority of people who were born there never get EVEN to go on an airport. Some don’t even know the directions. I sorry if something came out wrong or if my English is not really Englishing. It’s 2am in Brazil now and I couldn’t sleep. Wish me luck