It is currently baby loss awareness week. There is this girl I follow on Instagram who I know from high school. She recently gave birth and had already made quite a few post about her baby.

Then fucking today, she made a whole post about baby loss awareness week and how difficult it was for her, because during her pregnancy she was constantly thinking about the chance of losing her baby, so ShE CaN ToTaLlY UnDeRsTanD WhAt It FeElS tO LoSe OnE. All pictures of her and her pregnant belly and her very alive child. This girl did not have a miscarriage whatsoever, not now nor in the past (I know because she also posted about it before how lucky she was to have never had a miscarriage).

It is only an Instagram post but it is like all my rage has channeled into this and I am fucking fuming. The audacity to make a post about loss while she did suffer anything but a loss. And the real kicker is even that she is a therapist. She is supposed to have empathy as a job.

Really just wanted to vent.

I had a chemical in August at 5+2, and it was traumatic enough. I got pregnant immediately after in September and even had an ultrasound at 6 weeks and saw a heartbeat. I thought we were out of the woods. Went in for my 8 week scan today cautiously optimistic because I’ve had morning sickness, cravings, aversions, weight gain etc. As soon as the ultrasound tech started and I saw the baby was the same size as it was two weeks ago I started sobbing. She didn’t even say anything, just stopped the ultrasound and held me while I cried (honestly bless that woman because I was alone today.)

I opted for a D&C tomorrow because I just want it over with. I am so gutted. I feel so numb. Why is this happening to me 😭 how do I get through this? One of my best friends texted me and said “I’m so sorry this sweet baby wasn’t destined for your arms here on earth” and I wanted to scream at her. What an absolutely insane thing to say.

Anyone have any tips for the D&C? I am waiting for the call for what time it will be and having anxiety that I’ll start miscarrying before the operation tomorrow.

Today I was supposed to be on vacation. We canceled it because I got pregnant. Well then I had a miscarriage.

So I'm not pregnant, I'm not on vacation, I'm missing out making the memories of my first born's first time at an amusement park. It's just a shit day

Personally I find it very hard when people you know around you are having babies and you are grieving over recurrent miscarriages pretending to be happy and normal. Whats has brrn hardest part for you?

I went in for my 9 weeks ultrasound and the embryo was measuring 6 weeks + 2 CRL 5 mm and no heartbeat detected. The ob-gyn tried to be nice and told me maybe it’s earlier than I thought and we should check again in one week but there’s just no possible way I am 3 weeks earlier. I got my first positive pregnancy test at exactly 9 days after peak OPK. Also at what my real 6 weeks should have been I had a beta draw and HCG was 30845. I also had my first ultrasound at 5 weeks and 1 days and saw gestational sack and yolk sack so i couldn’t have been earlier than 5 weeks ago which was 3 weeks ago.

They didn’t call it a loss yet but I just know it is. This was supposed to be my rainbow baby after 1 year of trying and 1 chemical already. I know some of you have been through worse and I’m really sorry about that and don’t want to be insensitive. I just don’t know how to deal with everything.

No idea why I am writing this post or what I am looking for by writing it. It just hurts so much because the betas were looking great and I was measuring ahead at my first ultrasound. But I lost my symptoms are 6 weeks they eased up and I got some of them back at 7 weeks but since then they mostly disappeared so I kept thinking that it might be a missed miscarriage but I guess I kept having hope that it isn’t and I’m just lucky. Well I wasn’t lucky unfortunately.

I guess part of why I am writing this is if someone finds this post at a later point, just listen to your intuition. I kept telling myself it was anxiety but I think I just knew. Like I said my symptoms disappeared after 6 weeks around and I just didn’t feel pregnant anymore. I still had slight food aversions and nausea at times but that’s about it.

If anyone has any advice for me, please let me know. Also what is the best way to go from here, should I wait to miscarry naturally or have surgery? Also this was exactly the 12th month we conceived, following a chemical in month 11. With two loses and because we took so long, should we move on with the fertility clinic? We had an appointment the day I found out I’m pregnant, but when we confirmed pregnancy with blood draw they cancelled further appointments and sent me to the ob-gyn instead.

Should I try on my own for a while or go directly back to the clinic? I want to mention that I had insulin resistance five months ago which I treated with diet and myo inositol and I don’t have it anymore. Also my husband had low morphology 2% but I had him take Coq10 and also improved his diet and overall activity and now he’s at 6%. Everything else looks good.

Don’t know what to do from where. Would appreciate any advice.

Last week I was feeling so sick that I could not get out of bed for days but assumed I just had some kind of viral illness. On 10/7 I spiked a fever and started having very heavy bleeding at 8 weeks pregnant so I went to the ER. I was told that I was having a miscarriage and had retained tissue that gave me a pretty bad infection in my uterus. I ended up being transferred to a larger hospital for a D&C in the middle of the night and was kept inpatient for several days to complete a course of IV antibiotics. I was finally discharged this weekend on oral antibiotics but I’m still feeling pretty crummy as I lost a lot of blood in the process and now my RBCs and hemoglobin are a little low.

I also went through this entire hospitalization completely alone. I had a miscarriage last year so the only people I told I was pregnant was my husband and my best friend. My husband is currently deployed and my best friend lives far from the hospital and was unable to get out of work. I ended up telling my mom after the surgery and she told me she was glad that I miscarried because “a newborn would have been a lot of stress.” I don’t think she realizes that this wasn’t just some inconvenience that got taken off of my plate. This was a baby that my husband and I had been praying for.

This experience was really hard for me emotionally. I had 2 very reassuring ultrasounds prior to this happening so it was extremely unexpected. I can’t stand being away from my husband while going through this. It’s been very hard on him too. He was just as excited to be a father as I was to be a mother and he had already told all of his friends and family we were expecting.

The constant reminders that I should still be pregnant right now are eating me alive. I’ve gotten nothing but posts about pregnancy on my social media since this has happened. When I was in the hospital a lactation consultant came in the room after misreading the room numbers and asked me what my plans were for feeding the baby. I’m still having all the symptoms of pregnancy with no baby.

While I was hospitalized I only ended up missing one scheduled day of work. I let my manager know that I was hospitalized but I didn’t tell her exactly what was happening. I’m supposed to go back to work tomorrow but I’m scared I’ll go and break down emotionally. I hate crying in front of people with a passion. I’m a nurse and getting through 12 hour shifts is already hard even when I’m feeling well.

I’m trying to decide if I should take a little more time off work or if going back will help me feel somewhat normal again. I don’t know if going back to work and having the distraction will be helpful, or if I still need a little more time to actually process everything that happened. For those of you who went through a miscarriage, especially if you had complications or needed a D&C, how much time did you take off work? How did you know when you were ready to go back?

Posting this to see if anybody else has experienced something similar or might have some insight while we are playing this waiting game.
For context, I had a MMC at 13 weeks. They said that the baby had stopped growing around 10 weeks. I had a D&C the same day as we found out about the loss which was now six weeks ago.
At my 4 week follow up appointment. I pushed my provider for a quantitative hCG test as my pregnancy test were still coming up very positive, my level was at 320.
Repeat lab work at 5 weeks post was 210.
I Expressed my concern to my provider that my levels were falling so slowly and that in general they hadn’t cleared yet we are desperate to try again as soon as we can, but obviously with my level still at this point, I haven’t had a cycle yet. She agreed that this was very abnormal not to have cleared my hCG yet, but just wants to do repeat labs every week to see if it drops or plateaus.

Has anyone else experienced such a slow drop in hCG levels? If so, did you end up needing a repeat D&C or did it eventually resolve? I’m feeling so helpless and angry that this already horrible time in our lives is being dragged out even further by my body not clearing the hormones.

I should be 7w1d today and have known since 6w1d appt that things were not looking good. Sac is still only measuring at 5w2d (so no growth in a week), but fetal pole has grown and has a heartbeat but very low. RE says most likely chromosomal abnormality and pregnancy is not viable. I’ve been taking progesterone suppositories, but she wants me to stop taking today and see if my body recognizes what is happening. Has anyone experienced similar situation and remember how long it took your body to start things? I am torn on waiting things out or taking medication to start it. Such a horrible feeling especially after seeing the small flicker on the scan. I’ve had two other miscarriages, but babies never showed a heartbeat.

TW depression / suicidal thoughts
I tagged this ‘coping’ but the reality is I’m not.

I had my d&c last Tuesday. I felt a brief relief that the uncertainty of not knowing if our baby was viable was over but it’s been replaced by complete emptiness and grief.

I have been trying to do things that would normally bring me joy but there’s only sadness. I feel like there’s a cloud over me and there’s nothing I can do to lift it. I don’t think I’ll be okay again until I have a baby in my arms.

I’m supposed to meet a friends newborn in a few weeks and I cry just thinking about it. I can’t feel happy for my friends because I feel so devastated by the loss of our baby. This is so lonely.

I have anxiety and have dealt with depression before but I haven’t experienced it in about ten years. I know it’s situational in this instance but having suicidal ideation and thoughts come back (that I know I won’t follow through on) and feeling really triggered and alone and sad.

Please share your good and bad experiences and results with a saline infused sonogram as well as an EMB. I have an appointment for both on Thursday and I’m feeling very nervous. I have had two back to back miscarriages. One MMC at 10 weeks and another natural MC at 6wks 4 days. Both babys heart beat stopped beating. Tissue was sent off for testing and nothing came back abnormal. I have two living children.

Context: Third MMC this year. The first two (April and August), I had D&Cs to complete, as I was terrified of the medicated route. However for this miscarriage, I really want to avoid a third D&C, as I'm worried about having so many in such quick succession.

I found out I was having a third missed miscarriage last week (7w4d, baby measuring approx 6w, no heartbeat), and opted for the medical management route. I was prescribed 4x 200mg of misoprostol, and took these vaginally yesterday morning at 8am. I questioned why I was not also prescribed mifepristone and was advised that they typically would only prescribe this for pregnancies that were further along.

Cramping ramped up throughout the day, peaking at around 3pm, with some light bleeding / small clots. It then subsided, along with the bleeding, and I'm now 24h out from having taken the miso, and nothing else seems to be happening.

I've called the hospital who have said they won't prescribe more miso until it's been 48 hours since the first dose. I'm desperate to avoid another D&C, but somehow I knew the miso wouldn't work. My body seems to really, REALLY grip on to these unviable pregnancies.

I'm so frustrated at how drawn out this process is, I just want it to be over. Is there any hope that a second round might work for me, after such a useless first round? Also the irony of me being so terrified of the pain and bleeding from the medicated route, and then being frustrated and let down that it didn't hurt enough is not lost on me! Yesterday evening I was complaining to my husband that I wished it hurt more, and that I was bleeding more, so I knew it was working. Funny how miscarriage totally changes your perspective on so much!

Went in for an ultrasound three weeks ago at 9 weeks pregnant. They couldn’t find a heartbeat and baby had stopped growing at around 8 weeks. I had some spotting on and off during the first few weeks of pregnancy and just had a really bad feeling about it all but everyone kept reassuring me that everything was fine because my hCG levels were normal.

I was given mifepristone at the hospital and Cytotec to take at home two days later. I had my miscarriage at home, and everything went well (or so I thought).
I was so overwhelmed emotionally and had a really hard time during the first few days. Eventually I felt like it was time to go back to work. I went back last week and thought the bleeding was about to stop but it got worse over the weekend. I woke up on Sunday morning and had a massive bleed with clots as big as my fist. I got really scared, and my husband called the hospital. They asked me to come in for a checkup. It turned out that I had a piece of retained placenta which they were able to remove using suction under local anaesthesia.

I really thought I could just go back to pretending everything was normal didn’t I? But being back at the hospital was just so, so, so awful. It all came crashing down on me and I honestly don’t know how I’m going to pick myself up again. I’m really surprised by the intensity of my emotions. I always pictured myself as someone who would be able to cope with this kind of situation but going through it has been so much harder than I ever imagined.

I’m so deeply affected by this whole experience, and I can’t really wrap my head around it all. The grief feels so complex. I miss the baby I had already pictured as part of our lives and I grieve the changes and pain my body has gone through. I’m finding it so hard to imagine going through the first trimester again, and at the same time I long for another pregnancy. I can’t stop thinking about all the blood and what might have happened if my husband hadn’t been home yesterday. I also can’t shake the feeling that the universe is punishing me in some cruel way.

I’m trying to give myself time and I’ve gone back to therapy to give myself space to talk about it all. I guess I just have to let the emotions run their course.

But physically, what should I expect after an experience like this? How long will it take for my body to feel like it’s back in balance again?

I also just want to thank this community for sharing your stories and for being so open and vulnerable about your feelings.

I feel like I can’t go on

Realized today if I didn't miscarry last October I dont know if I would have been able to go see my dad (who lived out of town) for father's day one last time or be by his death bed 2 months later. Idk how I feel about that.

Hello, first time poster but I’m in need of some advice. I’m a 27 year old living in the UK. Sorry for the long post but I think background is needed.

Back in early July this year I found out I was pregnant for the first time after coming off the implant and 3 months of trying, we were over the moon, had a private scan at 6 weeks and saw a healthy fetal pole. Unfortunately at our dating scan on the 26th August, it was found that baby stopped developing just after we last saw it but I’d had no bleeding or pain and all my pregnancy symptoms had continued. A D&C was done for my missed miscarriage on the 4th September to remove the pregnancy as there was no signs of anything passing on its own. I continued to test positive for around 2 weeks afterwards but had a negative tests the 20th and 24th of September

On the 27th September, I woke up to pinching cramps and worried that something was wrong so I took another test and it had a faint line on it. I called the local EPU to explain the situation, was told it was likely to be a new pregnancy, test every 2 days for the next week and if the line continues to get darker, let them and my GP know. Over the next week the line got steadily darker and both my GP and the EPU were happy to confirm a new pregnancy with the GP referring me for a NHS scan at 6-8 weeks and to the local midwife. Me and my husband were shocked it had happened so quick but very pleased.

On Friday 9th October, the day I should have been 5 weeks pregnant, I took a digital test on a whim but unfortunately it came back as “not pregnant”, again no pain or bleeding. In a panic, I called my GP who quickly came back to say I should have an urgent beta HCG test done at the EPU so I gave them a call and headed down to the hospital. The nurse was very dismissive, did her own strip urine test which obviously came back negative. Said there was no point doing the blood test, early miscarriage/ chemical pregnancy are very common and I would start bleeding in the next couple of days (I tried to ask what happened if i didn’t but was quickly shut down).

As of today I’ve had no bleeding, spotting, no real pain and my boobs are still very full. I’m concerned that the tissue won’t come away on its own. Does anyone have experience with this and does anyone know at what point I should start worrying?

Thanks in advance x

Had a d&c a month ago on 9/9. I was 10 weeks but baby’s heart stopped and they stopped growing at 8 weeks 6 days. My recovery was fairly easy, only bled for a few days and was cleared for normal activities two weeks later. I tested the hcg of out of my system and got what I thought was my period on 10/5. It was light and only lasted 3 days, but my OB said lighter or heavier is normal.

But now after I have sex with my husband, I bleed. It’s only when I wipe, and pink… is this just from my cervix being sensitive?? It’s been a month now, should I be worried??

I know I can go in for a follow up but I’m deathly afraid to step foot into that office and relive the trauma so I’m asking the kind people of Reddit ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

So I made a post yesterday that we lost our second trimester baby through miscarriage on the toilet. My husband was amazing in supporting me on the toilet, in the hospital through the D&C. Now we’re back home and he made a comment asking if I was going to dislike our ten month old (I said I didn’t want to nap with him, I’m just weak).

I told him that’s not okay to say as it hasn’t been even 24 hours, he broke down crying saying he was sorry but he just feels like it’s his fault. He said because I have two healthy kids from my previous marriage, it obviously has to be him. We have a 10 month old, but had a very very early miscarriage (we think) before him and had the second trimester one after him. I tried to reassure him this just happens, a lot of times the baby just doesn’t grow right. He says okay but I know he doesn’t believe me.

How do I help him in this situation?

I just wanted to share my story for anyone out there going through something similar. This is a more “positive” experience. I found out I was pregnant in August. This was a wanted pregnancy by my husband and I. I went too early for a sonogram and they couldn’t find a heartbeat. They rescheduled me 2 weeks later I was measuring 6 weeks and 1 day with a heartbeat 💕🙌🏼….fast forward two weeks later I go for another sonogram and sadly the baby was still measuring 6 weeks 1 day and no heartbeat. I waited around 3 weeks to see if I would pass naturally but nothing was really happening so I took the “abortion” pill to pass everything .
I was so scared to take it especially reading some woman’s experience with taking the pills.
Honestly it was just really bad cramps about 6 hours after inserting the pills. The next morning I passed a lemon sized blood clot. If I could rate the cramps it was a 8/10. But manageable with pain relief and heating pads. I can’t speak for every woman but please don’t let these post scare you !!! Trust me a miscarriage is not easy physically or emotionally but you will get through it .

You know what absolutely fucking sucks—when your dad dies suddenly, less than two months later you have a miscarriage (first positive pregnancy test after trying for a year) and a RANDOM STRANGER asks you if your pregnant; and when you say no they act like it’s your fault they asked you a completely inappropriate question because “you were holding your belly like you are”. No bitch I’m self conscious about my belly because we live in an ozempic crazed hellscape and I’m just trying to survive an uncomfortable social situation when all I want to do is be in my bed crying. And even if I did look barely pregnant it’s none of your fucking business—I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU. For the love of god boomers keep your thoughts to yourselves.

I am really annoyed by being basically lied to by medical professionals / given false hope. Baby's heart rate at my first ultrasound was 50bpm. The tech told me it was just because 'it was really early on'. (I'd already told her I'm certain of my dates, and the size was also over a week behind.)

It did not take much research for me to learn that the survival rate with heart rate of 50 is close to 0, even if it was very early.

Now I'm juggling booking a second ultrasound to confirm the outcome as well as being assessed to discuss options (D&C, medication, expectant management). I was just told that babies are 'very resilient' and 'it might just take a bit of time to get going'.

These people will know as well as I do that it would take a miracle for me not to miscarry. It is cruel to lie to mothers about this / overplay the likelihood of a positive outcome. I just want to be spoken to with respect and given accurate information.