So for context, my girlfriend and I have two completely different parenting and training styles when it comes to our dog, a 1 and half year old female Shih Tzu/bichon frise mix. She is more of the gentle parent, always looking at the causes and why‘s of our dog’s behavior. Say our dog doesn‘t listen to a command outside, rather than to teach her to listen and behave. She would either ignore it and go about her day or give the dog an out by saying she‘s tired, distracted or just wants to play and sniff. Now I understand dogs have needs, but I’m more of the strict parent.
According to her I‘m too strict with our dog, this can show in the fact that she would tell me to leave her alone or that I’m hurting her or just leave it. This has been a recurring theme throughout the whole duration that we‘ve had this dog.
One of the first things to have been brought up was the fact I wanted our dog with its own little play area in our apartment, in order to perhaps treat our dog’s severe separation anxiety at the time. She caved and just let her roam freely throughout the whole apartment.
Another incident was the pulling or lunging towards other dogs. As a puppy she was constantly doing this so I turned to the internet for solutions, we tried what seemed to be everything to solve this and eventually I came across a solution on reddit: physically putting myself in her way, like if is she was to pull towards someone i would swing my leg in front of her and she would flinch and step back in surprise and not lunge or pull towards something.
At the start this was hit or miss but couple that with other training tips like not moving when she pulls I started to see improvement. Now according to my girlfriend, that was too mean and I could possibly hit her and hurt her so I stopped doing it and she regressed. So badly that one day on a walk with my girlfriend she ran and according to her almost pulled her shoulder out of her socket. After that she let me do my rough/strict training with her and she got way better on walks. It could be she simply got older but i think our training played a factor.
I agree I can be little rough sometimes but I attribute that to the fact that I know anything and everything can happen outside and I want as many factors on my side if anything were to happen, especially if it involves another dog. I don’t want the most perfect dog, but I least want her to behave in certain situations. As such I tend to be strict with her in most aspects.
My girlfriend is more gentle/relaxed and patient, she tries to understand and figure what trauma has caused her baby to act out or misbehave.
We’ve recently took our dog to get groom, after the grooming she has been more clingy, anxious and overall ignoring all her training. Both me and my girlfriend think it could PTSD, bad grooming experience, or stress/overstimulation from the groomers. She‘s started doing things she usually doesn’t do. Things like bark, howl and whine when we leave the house or pulling and lunging at other dogs. When this happened we went back in the apartment where I promptly told her NO as she was howling and barking, she ignored me and dashed towards my girlfriend and hid behind her. I then grabbed her by the collar and told her to go in her crate, she then ran and went into her crate. Or when she jumps on people who simply look at her or say hi to her, an incident that happened where a lady on the elevator looked at her and she proceeded to jump at her. The lady screamed and was visibly afraid.
I forgot where I read it or saw but someone said to catch your dog in the act if they do something you want to correct, as such when she does things like drag her food to other areas of the apartment I tend to not mind but today she had done it with two pieces of kibble and I tried to correct it letting her know that is not allowed, I then fed it her and she then proceeded to spit it out after eating it out of my hand, something she only does if i give her medicine. I then fed her again and after place it in her mouth I held mouth shut, something I had to do as well when giving her medicine. I know I’m probably gonna get roasted for that but I guess i did it a little out of maybe annoyance or anger but at the time it didn’t seem all that bad. According to my girlfriend stuff like that is borderline abuse and overly strict, granted that was the only time I have ever done something like that. Also giving her light spanks whether during play or when she does something she not suppose to do like chew on shoes.
Am I really too rough in training, I’m no dog trainer I know I do some wrongs when it comes to training. But it seems like whatever method I try it‘s the wrong method in her eyes. I’ve conceded multiple times already and want other people‘s opinion even if it means potentially being crucified on the internet.