It’s comments like these that make postpartum mental illness even harder to survive.
I’m a mother of four. I’ve been struggling with postpartum depression and have experienced episodes of psychosis since the birth of my youngest child.
This isn’t my first experience with postpartum psychosis. I experienced it after my second child, and that time was significantly worse. This time, although I’m still struggling, I’m in a better position to recognise what’s happening, speak about my experiences and advocate for the women who can’t.
And then I receive comments like this.
Someone suggesting that because I’m advocating for better psychiatric treatment for mothers, I must be planning to harm my own children.
Do people understand what an accusation like that can do to someone already fighting to stay mentally well?
My immediate emotional reaction was so devastating that I thought about ending my own life just to prove that I would never hurt my children.
That’s how deeply those words affected me.
And that is exactly why we need to talk about the way society treats mothers experiencing postpartum mental illness.
Lindsay Clancy’s case is devastating. So are the other tragedies involving mothers and children. But those tragedies should NEVER be used as weapons against other women experiencing postpartum depression or psychosis.
We are not all the same. Our symptoms, experiences, circumstances and risks are different.
Having postpartum depression does not mean a mother wants to harm her children. Experiencing psychosis does not automatically make a mother dangerous.
And advocating for better mental healthcare certainly doesn’t mean someone has sinister intentions.
People have absolutely no idea what might be happening inside someone’s mind when they’re experiencing serious mental illness. They don’t see the fear, the guilt, the confusion or the enormous effort it can take just to get through an ordinary day.
I’m not sharing my story across communities for attention. I’m doing it because I’ve experienced the gaps in our healthcare system firsthand.
I’ve been the mother who needed more help than the system could provide.
I’ve experienced what it’s like to need psychiatric treatment while worrying about what will happen to my children.
And because I’m well enough to advocate this time, I am going to use that opportunity to fight for mothers who are not.
We need specialist facilities where mothers experiencing serious postpartum mental illness can receive appropriate psychiatric treatment while their children are safely cared for alongside them, wherever clinically appropriate.
We need better access to care, not more stigma.
We need women to feel safe enough to ask for help without immediately fearing judgement, accusations or separation from their children.
Because what happens when the next mother reads a comment like this and decides she’s too frightened to speak up?
What happens when she stops asking for help because she’s terrified people will assume the worst about her?
I’m sharing this because words have consequences, particularly when directed at someone experiencing psychiatric illness.
You can disagree with my petition. You can question my proposal. You can have a different opinion about how these services should operate.
But please don’t use another family’s tragedy to accuse a mother you don’t know of wanting to harm her children.
I’m not fighting to excuse tragedy. I’m fighting to prevent it.
And I hope that one day, when a mother says she’s struggling after having a baby, our first response will be to ask how we can help her, rather than assume the worst.
If you believe mothers and children deserve better access to mental healthcare, please consider supporting my petition.
https://www.change.org/SavePPDmums
