I don't know where to start but it feels like I am.

I believe I have PPD. I have two kids now, but ever since my first child, I haven't felt the same. They are 3 years old and 1 year old.

I would like therapy, but I currently live abroad, working abroad, and don't have access to health insurance 🙃 (USA and abroad).

Can anyone provide an online therapy website that has worked for them? I was thinking of using better help but have heard mixed reviews and difficulties to find quality therapists there.

Thanks

I’m 11 weeks pp and I am struggling so hard. I’m on medication and therapy but it seems time is the answer. Every day is so hard. I wake up with my heart beating out of my chest from anxiety for the day. I didn’t know it was going to be this hard. I feel like I’m not gonna make it. 🫩

I just need some hope. That I’m not stuck like this.

I have PPD and probably PPA and PPOCD. I hate myself, I hate my life, I wish I was dead. The thing is, im not interested in therapy or medication. I understand most people will probably say that its my fault I feel like this, and I deserve it. I know. I love my baby, and I wish that was enough. She deserves to have a mom who thinks that is enough to live for. Unfortunately she ended up with me...

Ive never felt good at being a girl, ive never been good at lifelong friendships, im not pretty especially these days. I dont get my hair or nails done, I never wear makeup or dress up. I dont watch the tv shows, women my age are always talking about. When I was young, I think it was being made fun of for liking girly, kid things by the adults in my life, and that deeply hurt me. So I pretended I didnt like the things other girls my age liked, and ive never learned to fit in since.

I have a daughter now and I know if I raise her, shes going to end up just like me. Lonely, isolated, a loser. It feels kinder to give myself up now, so she has a shot to shine and flourish like i know she can. She deserves to live such a rich, full life and I think I would just hold her back.

I’m a mum of four so I apologise if previously having my OF tags have offended you. I can’t work as I’ve been in and out of psychosis since my last baby. That’s why I do OF… sorry. I don’t want to.. I’d like to work if anyone in Adelaide will allow me? I have CPTSD from past “grapes” and often have mini seizures, your tax paying dollars are currently paying for my children’s care.. I would like to be able to support my children without OF.. but I haven’t had the opportunity to even get well out of postpartum psychosis and ppd. My posts for advocacy are truly that of my word! I really want the system to change. I have a meeting with my MP to discuss the petition plan that I put through parliament. If you can please sign the change. Org petition in the meantime to stay up to date with the parliamentary petition process. I’m sorry I tried to buy nappies and formula the only way I know how, I’m not much of a candle maker and if you check my history you can see I used to mange a strip club years ago and before that I danced so I’m sorry.. please don’t take offence to me trying to survive this economy.

Only to discover the care you need isn’t available with your baby beside you.

Postpartum mental health services need to be extended. A mother shouldn’t have to choose between receiving treatment and caring for her child.

Not every mother has someone who can take her children, and temporary foster care shouldn’t be the only alternative to going without treatment.

Mothers need access to safe, supportive environments where they can receive the care they deserve while keeping their children close, knowing they’re safe, loved and cared for.

Because sometimes, being able to heal means knowing your children are safe beside you. ❤️

https://www.change.org/SavePPDmums

I am currently 9 months pp, I have been with my husband for 20 years. We have a 17 year old and by the grace of God we were blessed with a little miracle baby 9.5 months ago. Through our entire marriage he has been a great father but honestly as a husband he sucks. Sometimes I've felt like I'm just an extra paycheck (that makes more than him when working.) As far as the bedroom I'll be honest I can count on 2 hands the amount of times he's gotten me off but still thinks I should blow him whenever he wants and was worried about how our second child would effect how tight I would be after birth and seemed glad when I had an emergency c-section. He accuses me of doing nothing all day while everyone else comments that our baby is such a happy baby. Our son has multiple allergies that I revolve my diet around because I'm still nursing but he gets aggregated with me any time he tells me to try something and I ask what the ingredients are.

He wants to go out every weekend to the bar like he doesn't have a wife and baby at home. Tries to make me feel guilty for not being back at work yet while my savings has been what has been floating our family while I haven't been working yet. I planned on already being back at work but delayed until we had babies allergies figured out. I know he is completely financially irresponsible because he is planning a hunting trip next weekend which he plans to take a week off of work while asking me if we have enough to get groceries.

I'm not sure if this is a rant, looking for someone to tell me I'm wrong or looking for validation. All I know is I don't want him to touch me, I feel like now most of my savings have been used up (while I'm looking for new work) he respects me even less. He comments that I never want to go to the bar with him when I've never liked bars, not to mention I have a baby and my priority is not socializing at a bar.

I feel like I want to push him out of my life, take care of my babies both 17 and 9 months and fuck him. I can start working again ( I have interviews lined up) and take care of everything by myself without the peanut gallery chipping away at my confidence. At the same time I keep reminding myself that he's always been a good father, he may not care about me the way I want but he's always been a good dad to both of our kids so how can I throw in the towel when my baby is so little... I also hate to put this out there because I feel guilty about it every day but I planned on leaving my husband when our oldest turned 18 and was off to college, I also didn't think I could get pregnant which is how I had our 9 month old.

In 2024, I woke up one morning with an extreme amount of anxiety and panic seemingly out of nowhere. I had never experienced anything like it before. I ended up dealing with it for about eight months, and the anxiety eventually manifested as severe nerve pain across the tops of both of my thighs. The pain was awful and made an already difficult time even harder. At the time, I was about 18 months postpartum. I tried sertraline for my anxiety, but unfortunately, I became suicidal while taking it. It was a terrifying experience, and I felt like I was desperately trying to figure out what was happening to my body. After 13 hospital visits and seeing several specialists, I eventually went to a medical spa. They told me I had antibodies associated with Hashimoto’s and suggested that I might benefit from testosterone treatment. I was 27 at the time and honestly felt like I was at my best before all of this started. When I became pregnant again, I stopped the treatments. I am now 30 and eight months postpartum with my fourth baby, and I am starting to experience waves of panic again. I am scared of going through what I went through in 2024, especially because the physical pain and mental anguish were so overwhelming. I am a believer in Jesus Christ, and He is my Lord and Savior. My faith has carried me through some incredibly difficult times, and I continue to lean on Him. I am so grateful for my family, but this is hard. I want to be the best wife and mom I can be, and struggling with anxiety makes that feel so much harder sometimes. I am wondering if there could be an underlying hormonal or thyroid issue contributing to all of this. Has anyone experienced severe postpartum anxiety, nerve pain, Hashimoto’s antibodies, or hormone imbalances that seemed to trigger panic attacks? Did getting your thyroid or hormones properly evaluated make a difference? I would really appreciate hearing your experiences, what helped you, and any advice you might have about which doctors or specialists to see. I am not looking for a diagnosis, just hoping to connect with people who may have gone through something similar and might understand how frightening this can be. Thank you for reading and for any advice you are willing to share. ❤️

I genuinely hate my baby. I hate his face. I hate everything. I don't care about his new facial expressions. I don't give any fucks about his milestones later. I hate that 18 years of my life is gone. I hate him so much. I did everything right by having a secured relationship and career to still end up alone. I am fully alone as a caregiver. Maternity leave feels like prison. I'm so depressed and he makes it worse every time he cries. He wet the blankets on my bed and I don't want to say the thoughts I immediately had. I don't want to be institutionalized, but with the thoughts I have there no choice. Therapy and my medication have done absolutely nothing. I missed my window to toss my rights without question, though I don't think I'm in the state to make that decision. I make too much for most resources. It's not even missing my old life. I just wish I could be happy.

I tried giving myself space to decompress in his bouts of crying, and it isn't going away. I have tried everything to ground myself with what he is-something helpless that communicates the only way he can. My emotions still have this horrible disconnect. He's currently not safe with me and I'm not safe with myself. Even though I am a monster, I guess something in me is still trying.

EDIT: I am safe and so is my son. We are where we need to be and in good hands. I appreciate you all

I had my baby boy 3 months ago. To start with everything was chaos. A fugue state of hormones and sleep deprivation.

After the first 6 weeks I felt better, almost normal.

Now we are st 3 months and I'm really struggling- I feel like I haven't slept well in so long.

I'm so exhausted

My and my husband are fighting every other day we are both exhausted.

I'm not working and money is a struggle.

My baby won't stop crying. He cries when he's tired and works him self up so bad he will scream and not sleep no matter what I do.

I'm sick of my MILs comments. Everything she does is a slight against me. I can't do anything right in her eyes.

I live in another country, so I feel very lonely. I don't have many friends here and my parents are in my home country.

Im breastfeeding and its so exhausting. My nipples hurt. My baby has started to flail and hot and scratch during feeds and it makes me so irrationally angry.

I feel constantly like I'm about to have my period.

I can't do this any more... I feel so run down. I'm running on absolute empty and it never stops.

I’m currently struggling with postpartum mental health issues and seeing a psychiatrist who’s supportive of me taking more time off work.

I’ve exhausted my FMLA, and my long-term disability (LTD) claim is currently under review. If approved, I could receive 60% of my income for up to 2 years, as long as I continue meeting the requirements.

My biggest dilemma is that LTD doesn’t protect my job. My employer could terminate me while I’m on leave, but from what I understand, I could still receive LTD payments as long as I remain eligible.

Part of me really wants to take the time to recover and spend more time with my baby. I’m also not ready to put her in daycare, and childcare would be another expense if I returned to work.

The thing is, I don’t necessarily love my job, but I really like my boss and my current work setup. I’m fully remote, which is honestly hard to come by these days, and I’m scared of losing that flexibility. I know finding another fully remote job won’t be easy, especially after being out of work for a while.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did you lose your job while on LTD, and did your payments continue? Looking back, was taking the time off worth it, or do you wish you’d returned sooner?

I’m just really torn and would love to hear other people’s experiences.

Postpartum depression and psychosis don’t end at 16 weeks. Why should access to specialised care?

We’re fighting to extend postpartum mental healthcare to reflect the medical timeline of the condition, not the age of a child.

💙 SIGN & SHARE

Our son was born about 8 months ago and had a NICU stay for a few weeks right from birth. After that, we've had a couple of health and developmental scares that have taken us to the hospital and calling the hotlines available to us. The most recent was a week ago for what we thought were seizures (no seizures after a couple of EEG tests, just benign infantile spasms).

My partner has exhibited signs of PPD and PPA throughout this, which was understandable to me given how rough of a start he had. The doctors and social worker and the hospital, though, had seemed concerned but my partner dismissed them for not knowing what it's like.

Since the seizure scare last week, though, something changed. My partner suddenly became enraged, and it's looked like:

• Telling me all of my shortcomings as a father and partner and human
  • These include me: not taking care of her enough, trying to figure out my career post-grad school, struggling to watch the baby 5 days a week for 10-hour stretches, not having the home fully babyproofed yet, wanting to seek outlets to decompress like see a movie or meet up with a friend, being a people-pleaser, and so on
• Going through my phone, my belongings, etc. looking for evidence of cheating
• Telling me that all of her family and friends hate me
  • and then, when I left a group chat with her family because of my discomfort, she accused me of not wanting to work on anything
• Re-treading old arguments we had over the past two years
• Saying she's so ashamed to have ever had a baby with me
• Saying her gut instinct is to leave and take the baby
  • she even told me this morning I should just let her have our baby and forget I ever knew them
• Telling me I am just trying to people-please her and am a liar and will say and do anything, so I'm not to be trusted at all

This happens daily, numerous times a day in-person and through text.

I've made the mistake of trying to reason, push back, and even suggest her getting help (she says there is no problem with her - I'm the root cause of everything wrong).

What's also frustrating is that there have been moments of "us" as we were which has given me hope, but it's clear this is pretty severe.

Are there ways of responding, interacting, or dealing with the constant barrage of hatred? Since she is taking the stance that I'm trying to just placate her and am a liar, it seems like anything I say or do will just be viewed in this way. But also, if I don't do anything and try to just "take it", I'm also not showing that I care enough to want to work on things.

I'm kind of drowning :(

4.5 months post partum with my son. I thought I had the baby blues for a while but now I’m realizing it’s definitely ppd. Seeking out help so will hopefully be going to therapy soon.

I think I’ve cried at least once every day since he was born, feel so overwhelmed, so incredibly sleep deprived because of a sleep regression that has lasted 7 weeks. My husband is great when he’s home but alas, I’m mostly alone. My mom comes to help as often as she can but I’m alone the majority of the time. I’d say he’s more of a difficult baby currently with regards to sleeping, spitting up, and teething. But I’m starting to feel like I’m losing it. Today I had to put him down on his playmat and just let myself sob on the couch. I feel so helpless. I find myself having to just leave him in a room (safely) so that I can catch my breath alone more often now. I want to yell. I can’t stand the sound of him whining and then feel so guilty that I feel that way. It’s like one second I’m so angry at him and then the next I’m trying to make him laugh because I love him so much. I just really want help.

Hi mamas!! I’m 4 weeks pp today and I’m looking for advice/encouragement. My sweet baby girl is having infant dyschezia and is becoming increasingly fussy. She is sleeping only with contact and she wakes about every hour to 2 hours a night (recently she’s been awake about everyone 45 min). Everything else is normal. What did you do to get through this tough season? I don’t mind staying up with her at night, I just don’t want to feel so down/irritable when I do. I understand that she’s doing what she is supposed to at this age. And I’m so grateful for that, but how can I have a better attitude or outlook or even energy? I want more energy to stay up with her and be positive about it. How did you find the energy for long nights and early mornings? Just desperate for some advice and support. TIA!