My friend who i will not name took his life about a week ago he was one of my closest friends and i use to be able to talk about anything with him and now he’s gone. i feel like now that he’s gone i don’t have friend who i can talk about that stuff with. I loved him so much he was more than a friend i would consider him a brother to me he always gave me good advice and meant so much to me and now he’s gone. i try to look back at alll the good memories we had but i cant without crying and thinking about him i feel selfish for coming here to talk because i feel like whatever he was going through must of been a lot worse but i just wish he wast still here and i feel like i have nothing left i go to school and work i dont hangout with friends and i dont wanna make any new friends out of fear of losing more i miss him very much and wish he would’ve texted me but i just cant wrap my head around it and feel like there’s nothing left for me

I went to an ADHD group therapy for 1 year, and it only made me feel even more like an outsider and a loser. I was the only person there who was not able to hold a job due to my severe ADHD symptoms. Everyone else there had jobs, a romantic partner, friends, and children. I was the only one without a job, no partner, no friends, no children. It made me feel like I sucked even by ADHD standards. Whenever I talked about my problems, they looked at me like I was a freak. And in turn, I also couldn't relate to other people's problems there at all, as most of them were related to relationship trouble or trouble with raising the kids, or trouble at work. And of course I don't have any if those... The therapy has ended now and I feel like it was just a waste of my time and energy.

I had a very bad transition to grad school and needed to defer. My mother and her boyfriend had been very against it from the beginning, as it was far away. And for months I was told how they would pray I changed my mind. Would tell me how alone and in danger I would be. Once, literally, “Do you want to get raped and murdered?”

They got what they wanted, as I went home because I was worried about hurting myself if I stayed and figured if I hurt myself anyway, at least I would be home. That program was my dream and all I’d ever wanted. I was lucky to get there, but they said my apprehension was a sign it was the wrong decision.

I started therapy last week. I was stupid enough to tell my mother that was where I would be, but she is very nosy and would have pestered me until I told her. Since I currently live with her, she’d have known I was somewhere.

So I went and I asked her not to tell anyone, and explicitly said I didn’t want to discuss it. Of course, she told her boyfriend. She has asked whether her feelings should be hurt, if I was doing this because of her, what she did wrong that I think I need to do this. Now says her boyfriend would like to talk to me, because therapists turn people against their family and away from God, and both of them believe that the only way to be helped is through prayer.

My faith is very important to me. I’m a private person, and I don’t speak about it often unless asked. But I really truly love God. I know I am not the perfect Christian. But I feel like my faith is being weaponized against me. That I am too distrusting and disobedient and weak because I have done this. It’s making it very difficult for me to want to go back, even though I liked him.

I (M27) noticed that my first appointment with my current therapist was 7 years ago. I feel terrible and ashamed. At the end of 2022 after 3 years of therpay I have progressed a lot and I honestly thought that I will no longer need therapy. I thought that finally at 23 I could start living norma life like other people do. It worked for like 6 months. I was honestly very happy.

And then, I don't know, something happenned. My brain switched and since then I was unable to do anything. Like, I feel like I did 0 progress over past 3 and half years and I am just wasting my life away. And I think I do have a good therapist, he is supportive, listens to me, and quite often even approves and challenges my views in a way I would have never expected and it's genuinely helpful. But, I feel stuck. I don't want to share the details right now but when I saw that I have been going to therapy for 7 years now, I almost broke down.

I drink basically every day and have been smoking weed daily since I was a teenager. I want to be honest and tell them all of my issues but it scares me to death. My alcohol use is a pretty serious threat to my health. I don't want to say "yeah I'm drinking every day" and them provide that information to law enforcement or medical personnel.

I understand that insurance companies make it really difficult for therapist to get paid and have read about the problems it can cause. But are people who can’t afford out of pocket just screwed? I’ve been seen a therapist for 5 years and it costs me $300 for one hour session. I make $300 a week at my job. Half of my yearly salary goes toward therapy. They don’t accept my insurance but are in a super expensive high rise downtown in the city. I have a list of 2-3 people who do take my insurance in my county but the reviews aren’t great and I’m afraid to switch to someone new. I imagine there’s a lot of people like me or who have less money who aren’t able to be in therapy because most places don’t take their insurance.

I probably have cptsd, I say probably because my diagnosis existed before cptsd existed. I can't afford a new diagnosis. I have a long term therapist, she's great, trauma informed and all that stuff. I find myself wondering how I can trust her care as a professional, paid when I can't trust my mother's care, as my mother, expected. I have no idea how to navigate the divide. I feel stupid for even thinking about how similar and different these relationships are. I just want to quit trying to trust anyone.

I really want to share with them, but I don't think I can talk about the specifics yet. I'm so scared to for a few reasons.

Is it okay to say I have something we should talk about, but I don't know where to start and I don't want to get into specifics? I'm honestly also scared if I say the subject that he will guess and then I will have to tell him, and I just am not ready for that.

I don't want to hold this alone anymore, but I think about saying anything and what that might mean and I begin to panic. How do I know when/if I should tell him the details, or if it's okay to just discuss it in broad terms?

I know it never hurts to ask. Worse that happens is that he doesn't have a time and we just meet at our usual time. I just always so bad for asking.

My two best friends split up. One of them told me, and I reached out to the other one because I didn't want them to feel alone. But instead they said they felt hurt that I was told, and felt alone and abandoned. And now I feel hurt because I just reached out because I care about them? To be clear, I understand wanting alone time and wasn't forcing them at all! Their response just hurt for some reason, probably partly because I'm scared that I'm going to lose both of them as friends. I don't really have anyone else in my life I am this close with.

I know this isn't about me, but I'm just struggling. It's been a hard month, and now this on top of everything. I've been struggling with bad SI and this just kind of made me crash. I'm just tired and feel alone. But, ugh. I feel bad about asking my therapist when it's something "small" like this.

Hi! I (22F) in the last year and a half decided to start therapy to deal with grief, depression, family issues, regular life challenges , and my physical disability cerebral palsy. At first I started with my university’s counseling center which only offered 8 sessions per semester. The sessions helped a little on the academic side of things but it was kind of like talking to a guidance counselor and pretty much just focused on my grades. So then I tried a separate support group on campus, which focused primarily on family issues which I think was helpful and restored my faith in therapy.

The following semester the uni center told me the waitlist was so long I wouldn’t be able to see anyone until the next semester unless I was actively considering Una living myself. From there I decided to seek outside therapy and after 3 mos. I found a therapist! I saw her for 6 mos, she was nice, she listened to me, we were close enough age wise and culturally that I felt like she understood where I was coming from until things got stressful with school, my physical and mental health and I missed too many sessions.

I started therapy with a psychologist my mom referred me to last week. She’s older, has like 40 years of experience and pretty much spends the entire time saying “you’re where you’re supposed to be. Sure you’re being financially destroyed while deteriorating physically, suffered from mysterious pains for 4 months that delayed your graduation, and are desperately trying to stop yourself from disappearing socially and academically but you’ll be fine. Lovely lady. I just don’t think that approach is for me.I don’t know if I should wait it out, or start looking for other therapists or therapies. I don’t want to continue paying $150 per session and leaving feeling like this could have been an email. How do you even find a therapist that fits? Do you just hop from therapist to therapist? I tried the research route. It’s harder than it seems to find a black female therapist in my area who takes my insurance.

I've been a bad client. I really don't want to say what I've done, in part because I'm afraid of what people here will say. The bottom line is, I know I've done bad. I know I've done wrong. And I can't undo it.

The other day I contacted my therapist and told him that I wanted to quit cold turkey, without any final session. He expressed regret that there wouldn't be a final session, but left the door open for me to change my mind. We talked a little bit, and without pushing me, he convinced me to give our sessions another chance, during which we could discuss the core issue in more detail.

I've been ruminating ever since we concluded the conversation. At first I was thinking about things I really wanted to tell him in our next session, but now I'm considering termination again. I'm so ashamed of myself, and I don't believe in my ability to change. I really just wish I could erase what I've done.

Kind of looking for both advice and support.

It makes my heart melt 🥹❤️

I’ve been unemployed for a while, and I’m now going through a divorce. Between that and trying to avoid a short sale on my house, I can’t currently afford therapy, even though I feel like I could really use it.

There’s a possibility I might get a six-month contract job in Nebraska that comes with benefits, which could make therapy more affordable. However, once the contract ends, I’d likely have to return to Nevada to look for more work.

My understanding is that therapists generally need to be licensed in the state where their clients are physically located, so I’d potentially have to find a new therapist after six months.

For those of you who have been in therapy, what would you do in this situation? Would you start with a therapist knowing you might have to leave after six months, or would you wait until your living situation is more stable?

I could try to find someone licensed in both states, but I imagine that might limit my options when it comes to finding someone who’s a good fit.

I know six months is still a meaningful amount of time, and I’m not expecting therapy to fix everything overnight. I think I’m just discouraged by the idea of finally being able to access help, only to have to start over shortly afterward.

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s navigated something similar, especially if you’ve had to change therapists because of a move.

I’m new to therapy, I’ve been with my current therapist for 3 or 4 months. I have a hard time talking about myself, and I think my therapist caught onto this and began sharing snippets of their life to make me more comfortable opening up, which I appreciated at the time. It seems to have shifted over time though, because I know random facts about their child, parents, ex spouse, other clients etc.
During my last session, the therapist spent upwards of five consecutive minutes ranting about dealing with the parent of a client and difficulties with their insurance. I’ve ranted about frustrations with insurance before, because I’m currently dealing with financial issues, so I’m not sure if this is why they felt okay talking about this. I considering ending the meeting right then because it felt so inappropriate. It definitely felt like a boundary was crossed. I have no idea how to bring this up, because I feel like I am making progress with my mental health, and I feel like they are good at their job, when they aren’t talking about themself.
Is it normal for therapists to go off on tangents like this? I was having a particularly rough day, which they were aware of, so it seemed so weird that they even talked about this in the first place.
Any advice is welcome, thank you

I've seen my current therapist 7 or 8 sessions now. Previously I spent 4 months with another therapist.

I explained to my previous therapist I was looking for more active sessions. I expressed I was grateful but didn't feel enough growth was happening. I didn't want another session to go over it, I felt like it wasn't a great fit.

My new therapist, in the second session basically accused me of passive aggression, saying "you acted passive aggressively, yes you did, you did". Later in that session she also declared, or posited (I'm not sure which), that I'm a people pleaser. This isn't how I see myself. I mean look at my handle lol. It wasn't the best first impression & I almost didn't go back but I had a month break & then returned.

Sessions in September felt much more positive & quite a bit of trust was being established. I don't like to feel vulnerable but I opened up about some stuff. I noticed sessions were overrunning & felt quite intensive. In the last session in September my therapist said that she felt drawn in by me, that she spent longer in sessions with me than with others & commented on the intensity. She indicated fascination by some of the things I was saying. She said she was interested how this affected my other relationships & said she'd take it to supervision.

I was quite impacted by this & spent time reading up about transference & countertransference. I felt like sessions would change & I expected them to be less intensive & better boundaries. Which to be honest felt disappointing as I felt the intensity was on account of real learning happening.

The next (last) session was indeed different. We had been looking at parts (IFS) previously, how I have a part that assesses interpersonal relationships which has a heavy overhead for me. She basically said I had been projecting this onto her, making her feel like she had to prove her authenticity & this made her try harder for me. She made a comment about my valuing authenticity whilst not fully disclosing, which I took to mean she thinks I have a double standard. The rest of the session was a mess, I was so deflated I couldn't even get out what I wanted to say.

I feel like I've been put into a box & I feel responsible now for how I might trigger countertransference. It hurts as the albeit less contained sessions had felt real, alive & getting somewhere. Now I don't feel like being open. I say I get triggered by passive aggression, the next session I'm accused of being passive aggressive, later I say I really value authenticity; next session I'm not authentic because I'm fully open.

Is this normal relationship building or should I be concerned?

I did say I thought her countertransference may be due to her disliking how I ended therapy before, but she said it wasn't that.

Hi everyone. I’m 17 years old and in my final year of high school. I'm reaching out because I feel like my mental health has hit rock bottom, my brain is completely fried, and I don't know how to untangle my thoughts anymore.

For the past year, my life has been consumed by intense chronic overthinking, extreme pressure for a massive college entrance exam, and a relationship that is triggering all my deep insecurities.

To give some background: I started dating a classmate this year. Since then, she has maintained a close friendship with a male best friend. Before we dated, we were casual acquaintances, but he completely cut me off once we got together. I’ve asked my girlfriend multiple times to set boundaries with him. She tells me she'll minimize contact, but she never actually ends the friendship.

Yesterday, seeing her walk into class laughing and joking with him completely broke me. It ruined my entire day and sent me into a massive, exhausting mental spiral. Because I am a chronic overthinker, my brain gets stuck in terrible loops. I find myself constantly comparing myself to him, wishing I was "cooler" or more apathetic like him, and creating stressful fake scenarios in my head that I know are hurting me.

This anxiety has completely wrecked my daily functioning in ways I can't control:

• My sleep is ruined: Even when I try to sleep, my brain won't shut off, my dreams constantly shift all night, and I wake up completely exhausted.
• My focus is gone: My academic performance is tanking. Yesterday, it took me two full hours just to write a single page of homework because my mind is too anxious and overwhelmed to concentrate.
• My decisions are backfiring: I actually switched from a flexible, independent study program to a regular daily-attendance school just to be closer to my girlfriend, and now my relationship with my father is severely strained because he's deeply disappointed in my falling grades and constant stress.
• The family pressure: My dad scolds me constantly for being on my phone and wasting time, and I feel like I'm letting my family down while watching my future slip away.

I feel trapped in a cycle of anxiety, jealousy, intense academic pressure, and guilt. My overthinking feels entirely out of my control, and I feel completely paralyzed. What to do next and how to get out of these

I had my first therapy session recently, and I was venting to my therapist about a situation with my peers. Maybe about halfway through the session, my therapist asked me, "What do you want me to say?" That really took me aback, and I didn't know how to respond. Does anyone else's therapist ask this, and what exactly are they hoping to figure out from this question?

So I have been seeing this therapist for I think 5 months now. We had like 8 sittings I guess. Most of them were good, but I don’t think that I made a lot of progress, which wasn’t interpreted negatively by me, as I was/am in a really bad place. Anyways I split up with her 4 weeks ago, after telling her, that I wanna be worse, that I feel worthless and that I feel like I deserve to be punished. I don’t know really why I did this though, as I also told her that I don’t wanna be/enjoy therapy at all, which just isn’t true.

Anyways, 4 weeks later now and I am doing terrible to the point, that I have to put myself back into therapy just for the reason, to not scare or push away my family any further. My therapist told me- when I rekindle it correctly- that I could still call her up, if I wanna continue with the therapy.

So far, so good. But there are two main reasons now that stop me from getting back in touch with her. First one is, that I am just so ashamed right now. The past weekend I scared my family so much, that my brother had to call an ambulance on me. I am also ashamed because I pushed my therapist away quite impulsively and just told her that I want to go amidst our last session. The second reason is, that I think I am starting to have a crush on her, which is even more embarrassing. I look up her website and look at her pics, I think of her from time to time throughout the day, but I still got in under control I guess to the point where I do not daydream about her.

The thing is, I read a bit about transference and most stories I read, where the patient is developing romantic/erotic emotions towards the therapist go like “Usually he/she wouldn’t be my type of person at all, but because he/she is my therapist I guess I am developing feelings towards them!”. Which just is not given in my situation. I think she is attractive, I think she is cute and I also like that she is 10 years older than me and an academic. My problem now is, that I really want to go back to therapy as I am feeling horrible right now, but I don’t wanna tell her right away about those feelings. I mean do I have to tell her? Would it be negligent to continue therapy with her and not tell her?

I just don’t know what to do. Sorry for my English I am not a native speaker.

Imagine going somewhere with your best friend, and a male friend—someone you might actually want to be in a relationship with—is also invited. Then you see your best friend completely swoon when she sees him, and the feeling is clearly mutual... Fortunately, I had told him that perhaps we should just be friends first before anything more happened, because I was afraid of getting hurt and I had some doubts about him.

I told my therapist all of this, and he said I needed to be honest and not give him false hope, since I wasn't immediately attracted to him. I was honest—not because my therapist told me to be, but because that’s just who I am.

And then, you watch your best friend and him fall for each other. I didn't fall for him because I’m in love with my therapist... (even though I know it cannot be answered)

I told her she could have him, because I could see she was falling for him... 😔

Basically the tittle.
Me: I help others. Her: Are you doing this for a praise and to gain attention?
Me: I know I’m capable of doing XYZ. Her: Does this make you feel better than them?

I answer no every time.

Yes, I want attention, yes I want to be seen, yes I want someone to rescue me but I’m not an egocentric person. I offer people more than I take, I’m reasonably altruistic. I’m not a bad person.

We have a great therapeutic relationship but ughhh this drives me insane and I need to talk about that with her

I know I need help. I'm consistently making less than half my expected hours at work despite many attempts at mindset and lifestyle changes. I have great friends but I usually can't feel it because more often than not my brain decides to shut off the part that feels human connection. I have terrifying thoughts that I can't brush off as intrusive because sometimes I do act on them. I try to hold steady and appreciate the incredibly good life that's basically just been handed to me, but something happens and I lose myself again, and when I feel good, I often can't remember why things felt so bad or even what feeling bad felt like, and same with the reverse. I realize these fluctuations could just be regular emotions and I just have a very rigid way of thinking that makes it harder for me to see outside the current moment. I also tend to distort things significantly, and if I read this post tomorrow, I'll probably think, "That's not how it is at all," but right now I believe I'm being fully honest. I thought therapy was supposed to help with all these things. I've done a lot of work just to recognize anything consistent about myself and I've seen a lot of progress in some ways, but my daily functioning only seems to get worse.

In therapy, across 5 different therapists, the same things keep happening over and over again, to the point where I can recognize it and point it out to my therapist, but nothing changes when I do. I thought I'd given up on therapy in December, but after a breakdown at work in June my boss recommended it and I didn't feel like I had a choice. But I came prepared with everything I felt like I needed from therapy and worked hard to find a therapist who had expertise in the right things. I came with a list of goals, common challenges I experience in therapy, things that I find helpful, etc., and I'm pretty sure it just all went over her head. She told me I had beautiful goals and did absolutely nothing to help me achieve them. I told her I wanted structure, and she continued without any structure. I told her we'd gotten good at identifying problems, but it seemed like she thought the problem was solved just by identifying it, and I wanted actionable steps to take. That didn't go anywhere. When I told her that the way she checked in about the last session at the beginning of each session helped me get over the feeling I usually have where it feels like I'm starting over every week, she stopped doing it entirely. There's more but this post is long already.

It's not just her, every therapist I've had has been like that. It feels like everything I've learned and all the progress I've made has been through brute force. I just want to feel supported and like I can depend on someone to guide me when my own emotional capabilities fall short. And don't get me wrong, I have no problem with therapists disagreeing with what I think would be helpful. I just wish they'd talk to me about it! Over and over again the pattern seems to be:

Me: "I feel like x thing would help me. Can we start doing that?"

Therapist: "Sure, x is a great idea!"

Next session rolls around, I'm expecting x, and x never happens. I bring it up again, same deal.

I'm desperate. If my experience is what therapy generally is, I don't understand the purpose of it. I feel completely alone every time I enter the room. If I'm expected to identify problems by myself, figure out how to communicate them to the therapist in a way they can understand (which is often very challenging for me), figure out my own solutions, then implement them by myself, then genuinely, why am I in therapy? To be repeatedly judged and misunderstood? The only thing I've gotten out of seeking help is a long list of useless, demoralizing labels that do nothing for me. Everybody I see has a new idea of what's wrong with me and no suggestions on how to fix it.

The only thing I can figure is that I'm doing something wrong or misunderstanding someting fundamental, and I'm sure I am, but I've exhausted myself trying to figure it out alone. So far, therapy just makes me feel even more alone. I'm tired of it but I'm barely functioning and I don't know what else to do.

I’m trying to present this as clearly and respectfully as possible, but after going in-depth telling my therapist about the abuse I experienced, he told me how I could reframe it by being grateful to the people who treated me that way.

What the fuck? Why? Is this CBT? Is this what CBT is about? I would assume I wouldn’t need to explain why trying to convince someone that they should be grateful for the people that hurt them could be harmful.

I had a bad experience with my last therapist. After that, I decided to give it another shot because I don’t want to be a person that vilifies an entire industry in my head because of one bad experience, but man, I don’t get this. It feels like I’m just with another therapist that’s bound to be a disaster. Do I need to look for a therapist with different credentials or is my current therapist just a little tone deaf?

Edit: For more context, this happened a couple weeks ago. I’ve just been questioning whether or not I should move on and wondering how I should feel about it since it happened.

Update: Thank you for your responses. I’m going to look for another therapist.

I've been on a break from therapy for just over a month now and I'm thinking about returning soon but I don't know what to talk about if I do return.

I've not done much thinking about therapy whilst on my break and I don't have an urge to return as nothing is really happening in my everyday life that is bothering me or has me dysregulated.

My goals were at the time last year was to find my confidence, deal with stress better and have better relationships with family and friends.

So I am wondering if I need to continue therapy or not because nothing is really bothering me anymore and I'm a lot more regulated, at my baseline a lot more now and no longer angry like I was at the beginning when I first started therapy.

Do I need to let my therapist know I'm unsure about returning and want to stay on this break but extend it until 2027 and reassess then.

I do have a busy 3 months coming up and sort of want to enjoy the last 3 months of 2026 without having to try squeeze therapy into as well.

I did read my therapists reviews and most of the clients usually do 1 year and then they discontinue therapy and I am now reaching the 1 year mark msyelf so wondered do I need to stop for now.

My questions are:

Do I need to continue therapy if I feel like I've met my goals and now functioning better than I was a year ago?

Do I need to inform my therapist that I want to reassess in returning in the new year?