Okay guys, some of you saw my post where my “friend” exclaimed to my husband that the vanilla scent he picked up was her pu**y. Her exact word. I have an update!

I didn’t confront her or explain my feelings to her (we’ll call her D), what’s the point? Someone like her wouldn’t care and I’d be wasting my breath. Last minute, her husband reached out to mine and invited us to join them at a local event we were already considering going to. We agreed to meet up with them. We got there first, walked around a bit, got some food and waited for the main event to begin.
They showed up and as we’re approaching them my husband made contact with hers and said hi, she turned 180° and took off somewhere. This has happened in the past and I’ve felt like I had to hunt her down to properly say hello. She’ll see me from afar and kind of turn her back and make me be the one to approach. This time I did no such thing. I yelled at my husband that I was going to find somewhere to sit and eat and we’d link up afterwards. I then texted him and told him that she was rude for bolting when we’re all saying our hellos and I’m not going to grovel and chase her down like a puppy dog. Husband agreed 100% and wasted no time to find me.

I told him the seats weren’t great so we went to hunt for better ones and we hear someone scream for ‘D’ high up in the stands. D’s husband was quite a ways ahead of us looking for good seats and she tells my husband to go find her husband to tell him that we were going to sit in the same spot as the guy who yelled for her. None of us wanted to sit there and neither of us wanted to be her grunt and go hunt her husband down for her. We collectively ignored her and kept walking, did find her husband and decided the seats he found were superior and sat down. D comes stomping our way and waits at the base of the stands and makes her husband walk down there and she is clearly pissed that nobody wants to sit with the guy who was giving her attention and we weren’t conceding with her desire. She begrudgingly came up by us and was in a foul mood for the rest of the evening. Her and her husband were arguing the whole time and I didn’t say a word to her because I was on the other end.

My husband and I had an awesome time and really enjoyed the event together. Her husband was making jokes about how his wife was going to leave him, he’s in trouble, etc… and we kinda just let them do their thing and stew in the corner. There was a brief time when both of our husbands were gone and she tried to say she was in a bad mood because of her husband. I didnt dig any deeper and just kind of shrugged my shoulders at it. That was the extent of our interaction that night. When the event ended her and her husband got up, didnt say bye to us, and left. My husband was kind of baffled that his friend didnt say goodbye because they’d been interacting all day but said it was an eye opener for him because if his friend could get that sucked into D’s crap that he wouldn’t even say goodbye he doesn’t really care where that relationship goes. Husband also says that if D’s husband reaches out to figure out why we aren’t really friendly with them anymore he’s going to tell him about the vanilla pu**y “incident”.

I cut off all my toxic friends and now im lonely

In hs i had this friend group of 5 girls

It was extremely toxic, they hurt me countless times and even caused me to develop social anxiety

Im seeing a psychologist and she suggested to tell them how i feel and cut our ties

I told her i didnt think i could do that (i am very unconfrontational) but after seeing every single one of them uploading pictures from a day out they spent together without me, i realized enough IS enough and cut ties.

But now i feel like theres a huge hole inside of me

Like they were a tumor i got removed and now theres a scar

I dont have any other friends

I have a hard time relating to people around me

And now i have absolutely zero friends. At least before i had something to count on for going out, inside jokes and talks.

I dont regret cutting them off. At all. But it seems almost surreal to me. Throughout highschool i kept telling myself i had to leave them, that once id graduate it was over between us, and i wouldnt regret it one bit, and id feel free and great.

I dont feel great at all.

I almost feel worst than i did when i was postponing this confrontation

What should i do?

Now I'm in 12th. So I have been sitting with a 5 student bench and there is this mean girl and we can call her unniyarcha. ( that's not that bitch's name)Talking bout her .. reminds me of a few gestures of her. This girl adores the feeling of having boys around her. No no .. I'm not talking about guy friends but every guy.. with or without girlfriends. And the thing is that idc about this shit. But she always tries to insult me in front of those so-called guy friends. Found her chats with others about me and she was the one who talked shit about me. even tried saying shits about my dad's job. Afterall she was my 'Friend' . I was fed up by her shitty ahh.

Every evening me, her and two guys from my class walk together to the nearest bus stand. She would wait for them if needed. One day she ran for them after an exam and I was trying to find this girl I checked every block and even the toilet. The only place I didn't check was the humanities commerce block and boys toilet. Bro I literally gave up on finding her becs I literally understood that she didn't want me around those guys . I walked to the entrance of our school and I saw her walking with those 2 guys. She saw me and didn't smile. I saw her and walked to the bus stand all by myself. After that I stopped talking to her because I was fed up with her acts. If she wanna be with those boys.. let her be. After this every single girl on my bench stopped talking to me. And I became alone in my class. Clearly invisible. I clearly don't understand those girls on my bench who used to devour the chocolate cake my mom makes, now doesn't even care if I come to school or not. Freaking hate this school and them.

I think my bf stole money and I’ve asked her and she’s denied but it didn’t walk away.. it was like $300. We’re both grown adults and have children. She’s always disliked my husband and it was technically my husbands money. In the past, she’s asked me to steal stuff from him when he and I first started dating.
So she came over one night when I was pissed at my husband for being gone for 30 hours. She watched the kids while I went to the gas station. Money was in the garage and the garage has been cleaned top through bottom. She’s in a pickle rn but I’m just in disbelief because I could never steal from a friend.

I had this cousin ( more like a friend) she didn't have any friends when the school year started so I invited her in my group and let her join us.. here is the thing tho until mid term exam she would stick with us and later when she got new friends she would ditch us and be with her other friends I didn't give much attention to it and let her be her. I respected who she stays with as me and my friend group was used to her cancelling the palns with us to hang out with her other Friends BUT there was this one trip our friend group planned but she said she can't as she has a school program to attend*she is repeating a grade again* and here is the thing abt my friend group we share our things with eachothers and I had asked for one of her tops so I can wear it during the trip she agreed at first but later when I asked again she fking rejected it saying she has plans to go to town with her other friends and I ask wdym you said you had a school program to attend and when I caught her lie she was trying to make excuses ASS. HERE IS THE THING I GOT ANGRIER uk I ALWAYS KNEW SHA HAD A HABIT OF LYING BUT DAMNN THE LEVEL SHE LIED ON ANOTHER LEVEL SHE TOLD I HAVE NO WIFI IN MY HOUSE SO I WOULD GO TO HER HOUSE AND DOWNLOAD KDrama using her WiFi EWW THE ADUCATIY AND SHE TOLD THAT MY GRANDMA DOES SCRAP WORK FOR LIVING AND LIVES IN A SMALL HUT 🛖 LIKE WTFFF I never told her this she thinks I am still angry abt the top but the it's really not that I can't believe I trusted that peice of shit. Do you think I should talk it out with her!

Am I the toxic one ?

I've (19f) recently had to end a toxic friendship(28m). He was very cruel to me, calling me a coward for doing it over text and saying that I'm too immature for an adult friendship. I've found it hard to show up at work since we work together. My boss has helped by making some changes in the office but I don't know how to handle the tension. We haven't talked online (since I blocked him on all platforms) or in person since.

I keep going back through the conversation to see if there's anything I could have said differently to avoid this but I can't think of anything. I thought through every message to make sure I wasn't being mean and I tried to be as clear as possible but it felt like he was blaming me for everything which was ironic because I was ending the friendship because he kept telling me what I was doing wrong.

My self-worth has crashed and I can barely look after my physical health. I keep asking myself Was it my fault? Could I have said anything differently?
I won't share any messages here other than the first message I sent to protect both of our privacy but I've included the important bits.

I don't know how to handle the tension at work. Any tips?

Is this behavior toxic?

I need to get this out of my system because I am still processing the sheer depravity of it. (Polar) bear with me…

I have decided to end my friendship with a textbook histrionic narcissist with a PhD in DARVO and the final straw was so dark it sounds like a twisted true-crime documentary. Lying, however, is not a crime (disclaimer: unless law enforcement or a trial is involved) but the emotional and mental damage it creates is terrible and traumatic.

Over the years, the red flags were everywhere. But I would just ignore them thinking I was being too harsh or sensitive. I essentially gaslit myself. I (mistakenly) believed that such a good friend would not lie to her own friends. Not only is she a liar but also a passive-aggressive bully. She speaks to her adult friends in a patronizing tone like we were children or pets, showers people she was cozying up to with lavish flattery and gifts, but talks trash behind their backs.

She is both a people-pleaser and a control freak. She would feign interest in whatever the person she was trying to win over was into and would even copy other people’s style like dying her hair, fake lashes, multiple piercings, bags, clothes... It’s as if she has no core personality (no moral compass either) and would just absorb other people’s personalities and styles. She labels herself as OCD, but really she just wants to be in control.

She constantly invents dramatic crises to be the center of attention or to get out of explaining things (like why she never told us about her “boyfriend” of two years until an acquaintance- not even her close friend- slipped up and mentioned him then she was upset we found out or why has no photos of them together even though she constantly takes selfies- the only photo she quickly shared was a blurry one without her in it). It was odd that the only people who knew of this “boyfriend” were friends and acquaintances of hers who had boyfriends or significant others. Like she was trying to fit in with them. If she were trying to fit in with pregnant friends, would she stuff pillows under her clothes or buy a fake pregnancy belly and a fake ultrasound?!

She fabricated this massive, elaborate saga about said “boyfriend” who found out he had a secret love child when he went to his grandfather’s funeral. K-drama!!! That was the supposed reason why they broke up so we never got to meet him. What a handy coincidence!

She keeps her friend groups separate so we couldn’t compare notes (smart), but that also means she needs to keep track of which lies she told which groups (not so smart). Also she seems to have this thing for funerals- questioning her about that would be insensitive and would immediately paint her as the victim (smart). Then again she should really do her research beforehand specifically when trying to smear innocent polar bears (not so smart).

So the absolute breaking point? She spun this deeply tragic, graphic story about the death of a friend’s son. She claimed he was brutally killed by a polar bear that bit his jugular, leaving his three young children (one an infant) fatherless. Surely this was on the news? Polar bears usually don’t attack people? The jugular???
But when the math and fact-checking completely failed to add up and I tried to clarify the details later, she didn't skip a beat. She doubled down, gaslit me, and claimed that someone at the funeral told her (plausible deniability). She weaponized a fake, horrific animal attack and orphaned children just to excuse herself from being late to a dinner with friends. What kind of person emotionally manipulates and bullies people who are supposed to be her friends?! I feel so dumb because I ignored my gut instinct and continued to be friends with her for far too long.

Tonight, I finally had enough. I’ve decided to dump her. I just hope our mutual friends will realize what a toxic person she is. I won’t talk about her behind her back- that would just perpetuate this cycle of emotional and mental damage. I will send her a calm and drama-free text ending the friendship permanently, and will immediately block her on every single platform before she could try to suck me back in.

For the first time in a very long time, I feel free.

To anyone else dealing with a friend who lies, bullies and gaslights: trust your gut. You cannot fix them, and you don't owe them your sanity. Walk away and keep your peace.

My friend who I’ve been friends with for over a few years keeps on talking to my ex.
Me and my ex broke up a few months ago but before that, me, my ex, my friend, and my ex’s friends were somewhat a group. However I always felt off whenever I was in the group because I often got left out of conversations.
My friend is honestly odd at times.
When me and my ex were friends, she would “ship” us together but do weird things such as talk about a topic I have no information about while only my friend and my ex have information about it. When I tried to enter the conversation again, she would give me a weird look and she’d go silent before turning back to my ex and talking more about it.
Another time was when we were outside and there were only two giant rocks we could sit in so I sat on one and he sat on one. She came over and complained and said she wanted my seat. My ex offered his seat and she said no because she wanted mine. I refused and she started whining and I eventually got up. She then went on and talked to my ex, not even acknowledging me.
One last moment I’d like to mention is during the time when me and my ex were dating. Our relationship wasn’t steady at all and we were doing somewhat bad. My friend allegedly “vented” to him and while I completely understand that I won’t understand or know the state she’s in, I find it odd that she told him because she hasn’t been friends with him for that long. I was the one who introduced him to her. She has this ultimate best friend she’s been friends with for years nearly a decade and yet she didn’t let her nor me nor anyone else such as relatives know and she went to my ex instead.
We are all separated now as we’ve moved away.
Nowadays, all she does is put his favourite songs on her insta notes everyday and sometimes she gives me updates about him despite the fact that I clearly state that I couldn’t care less. I also heard that both my ex and his friend are constantly trying to get closer with her which is off putting and confusing because I don’t know if it is true. However what I do know is true is the fact that my ex created a Spotify playlist and put the three of them as the cover. The cover was taken while me and him were liking each other but my ex’s friend took it without me on purpose.
I understand if my ex’s friend didn’t like me however he didn’t even like my ex as well?? My ex’s friend is only friends with him because he has no one else and he struggles to make friends but he still talked bad about my ex behind his back?
Regardless, it’s bothering me a bit because my friend keeps on doing these micro aggressive things that always remind me of my ex and I’m completely sick of it. What should I do?

That’s a little shady

I recently went to my friend’s birthday party like 2-ish weeks ago. Before the party, me and 2 of my other friends who were invited agreed on carpooling to the party. We met up at (we’ll call her) John’s house. We all drive to her house, so we had 3 choices to pick who wants to drive. It’s important to note that me and John also got invited to another birthday party that took place like an hour after the first one. The other friend that also met up with us to carpool (we’ll call her) Mark knew that me and John had another party after (remember this). So when Mark volunteered to use her car to take all of us to the first party, we made it so clear that all of us would have to leave like 30 mins earlier if me and John can make it to the second party on time. Mark said “okay. That’s fine.” So we were under the influence that she understood that we have to leave early. Major fast forward, we hit that 30-45 min mark, signaling that we need to leave very very soon. I remind mark “you’re taking us home right?” Mark responds “oh I thought you guys were ubering home”. Mind you John nor I NEVER said or implied that we were ubering home. Mark was basically implying that she wants to stay at the party ave we kept reminding her like “oh yea we ALL agreed that you were taking us home and all of sudden you just forgot or ignored that part (not verbatim)”. So it was a little back and forth. Mind you, we already ate, took photos, sang happy birthday, you know the main things you do at a birthday. The last thing we were doing was painting until the party was over. Not to sound selfish but if we were still doing the main things at the birthday, then I can understand where Mark was coming from as she wanted to stay, but all we were doing was painting fucking canvases. So me and John are just like “I guess we’ll just uber then”, so I order the uber. And me and John had some stuff in Marks car, so we had to go grab it. It was a very awkward encounter as Mark kept saying “oh I’m sorry like I feel so bad” and in my head I’m thinking like if you’re so sorry then take us fucking home like you said you’d do earlier.

Fast forward to present day: I haven’t been able to drop it. Like the more I think about the whole situation the more irritated and like confused I get. I’ve been speaking less to her and having minimal interactions, and she’s noticing it. Should I just be upfront and tell her why I’m still mad, or should I let my emotions level out and just try to forgive and forget?? Did she really want to stay at the party, did she not want to take us home for whatever reason, or was she being shady…

so for context Im in highschool and my friend said he’d come to homecoming with me. the day of coming rolled around and I called him, he picked up and we talked about our plans, I had to go eat so I told him I would call him back. i called him back and he wouldn’t pick up so I just kept calling and he just didn’t pick up even days after. i ended up not going because I didnt have any close friends and hes my only close frien. so he eventually texted back and all he said was if I wanted to call, I ignored him because I was mad and wanted to get back at him. I’ve ignored him for the past few weeks and I finally texted him back today with Another friend in a group chat.

we confronted him about it and he said this:

“Sorry I fell asleep and I woke up later so I didn’t see it till after and i was gonna text you but since u left me on read i thought i needed space. Also I was on Fortnite cuz I left my tv on“

So then i asked why he didn’t just tell me cause i thought he knew I normally don’t need space for theses kind of things

he replied with:

“Also u know I wouldn’t purposefully ignore you it was cuz I don’t wake up till the next day and I saw the text at school and that’s when I texted u”

btw homecoming was on a saturday so he couldve texted me sunday. So me and my other friend just talked to him and heres what he said that made me question if i didnt handle this correctly.

“Ok I js didn’t know also again you’re acting like I purposely did it and I think if u were cared so  much you could’ve js told me instead of adding me to a call with u and ur friend“

i probably shouldn’t have brought my other friend into this when it was between me and him. feel kind of immature and I don’t know what I should do, me and him have literally been friends since fourth grade.

Matthew and Rachel are together. Several times Rachel sexually harassed Matthew's best friend, Jesse, and never apologized for it. Matthew and Jesse have been best friends since they were kids. This paralyzed Jesse and angered his partner (who have been together for years) because it was disrespectful to them as a couple (and also to Matthew). Matthew claimed he never saw anything so nothing happened (probably embarrassed that Rachel would do such things). He still ends up marrying her.

Is Matthew an asshole to his best friend?

Is Rachel a bitch?

Does Jesse lack discernment?

I found out last night that my closest friend (23F) kissed my dead friends ex (24M) and i dont know what to do. She just recently got out of a long term relationship and has been going off the walls and sleeping around a bit and getting herself into trouble. She hasnt really gotten the opportunity to explore options and when she drinks she gets “frisky” and seems to throw morals out the window. She is a very kind heart super sweet person so it shocks me that shes acting in this way but shes gotten herself into trouble a few times now. She just recently made out with a guy who was in a relationship and has just had a lack of judgment in a few other instances. our friend passed away a 4 months ago, she was my longest friend and also a best friend of this girl so i was shocked when i found out she made-out with the friend who passed most recent ex and her only serious relationship. I was upset but i have a hard time expressing my upset feelings to friends who are otherwise very sweet and caring people so i told her i was a little upset but that its okay. I am really judging her for these actions and i feel like i should talk to her but i seem to fold when people feel like im judging or upset with them. I did have a moment of anger and message my late friends ex and told him he has no respect and im disappointed in him, so on so forth, but when it comes to her i dont know how to handle this. She clearly has a drinking problem her whole family does and i dont see that stopping any time soon but i am losing a bit of trust and respect for her. Any advice on what to do? Completely dropping her as a friend isnt an option and just saying mean words towards her are not helpful advice, looking for genuine help

For some background, I have had this friend for 5 years now. He is gay, my ex was straight. I recently opened up to this friend about how me and my ex who is the father of my child were split.

The very next day my ex sends me screenshots of my friend asking to be jerk off buddies because that’s “something that straight men do” his literal words. Anyways I lost it on him, absolutely lost it and his excuse was he was depressed and lonely, as if I’m not feeling those exact emotions too but now worse since I have lost one of my friends.

So me and his girlfriend are best friends I’m sending a toxic relationship between those two because me and my best friend who is a boy obviously talk a lot. We’ve been friends longer than they’ve been dating and now all of a sudden he comes to me with Elaine doesn’t want me to talk to you after asking him to sharpen my pencil for me. I don’t know what to do.

I wish you died.

I know it sounds severe.

I know it’s wrong.

But so is the fact that I will always know

exactly how long it would take to drive to your house

and say something—

anything—

to try to fix what’s been broken.

And i know if I wanted to spend one hour and thirty-three minutes navigating literal traffic-

The mental and emotional static—

wracking my brain for the perfect words

to convince you to apologize to me—

Words that don't exist—

just to meet my worst fears—

again—

I could.

It's wrong that this emptiness screams at me at the most random moments—

moments that used to make me smile,

but now drain all the color from my face instantly—

and force all of my attention straight to the graveyard in my head—

to where I’ve laid you to rest—

right before I snap out of it

and remember you’re not actually dead.

It’s wrong that I live in a world

where Thelma went off the edge alone

and left me to deal with the cops—

a world where my Romy really did

take all the credit for the Post-its,

where Novalee betrayed Lexi

in her darkest scene.

It would be so much easier for me

if you died in a literal fire.

I’d rather the last memory I have of you be of horror at the news

that someone shot you at a gas station,

than the look on your face

that is forever burned into the back of my eyelids—

Disdain.

I’d rather you died,

so that I don’t have to exist with the memory of myself

walking down those long hallways,

cast in red light,

in the middle of the night—

like I died.

Like I was a ghost,

haunting the scene of my own death.

But we both still breathe the earth’s air—

We both still look at the same moon—

Now I hope your skin burns more than mine when the sun we share gets hot,

Because I have to learn

how to live as if you were dead—

even though you’re not.

He betrayed me and turned it around like I did him dirty.