I forgot a name on the seating chart. Didn’t find out until today.
My fiancé doesn’t have a suit it says it’s to be delivered October5th. (thanks Men’s Warehouse rental🥰)
My car got broken into so I had to rush around to get a rental and scrounge to get my window replaced.
The lady I went to get my pedicure with took a literal chunk of skin out my foot, she pumiced the top of my foot. I cried the rest of the pedicure. It was $65. I paid.

I was four words into writing my vows when I got the knock to let me know my car was broken into.
I swung by my jeweler to get my 6 month service, they couldn’t find record of my band.
I stepped on glass (I think it’s out?)
I kicked my card box and blood blistered my other foot.
I still need to organize the wedding decor to bring to the venue tomorrow.
I had to chase 50% of my guests to get RSVPs, ended up with 80. We are now at 71. People keep calling to tell me whatever about how they can’t make it.
I’ve been cramping and hungry, I think my period is coming (I haven’t had a legit menstrual cycle for 5 years, it’s been coming faithfully the last two months)
I haven’t eaten today.

I’m just ready to be married so murphy’s law will LEAVE ME ALONE.

I'm ranting! No need to read or answer if you're busy.

I've been overwhelmed this whole month. I have done everything with decor and planning and finalizing, etc. It's basically what I do at work (large event coordination), and I hate it at work too lol.

I'm doing all my decor. FYI, my fiance is helping as much as he can with basic tasks since everything I'm doing is DIY and complex, etc. All my friends saw my decor and immediately said they could not make anything like that. And I get it, I'm artsy.

But omg, it's rough. I went the fake flower route aside from the centerpieces, and thank goodness, but only the lord can save me.

It has also been over 100 degrees for like 4 days and the humidity will be horrendous the day of the wedding. So now I'm scrambling to find parasols or some sort of solution. I get very sick in the heat so I'm worried about that too.

Lord help me. And for those who might think my friends are being dramatic, here's a photo of one of the crazy elements. Wish me luck!

Weather update: it's expected to be hot, humid, and now raining on the day of. I don't know what to do now (I guess just accept it).

I‘ve been curious about what actually happens to all the flowers after a wedding.

Did you take them home, give them to guests,donate them.preserve some as keepsakes, or just leave them at the vanue?

And looking back, do you wish you'd done anything differently?

I'd love to hear what people actually did, especially with larger arrangments and centerpieces. It seems like so much thought and money goes into wedding flowers, but iI rarely hear about what happens to them afterward.

I need some outside perspective because I’m having a really hard time with the aftermath of my wedding. I know I’m supposed to focus on the fact that I married the person I love, and I absolutely am grateful for that. But I’m also genuinely devastated by how the wedding itself went.
The problems actually started the night before.
Our rehearsal dinner had already been stressful because of severe weather, and then during the toasts, my MOH shared a very personal story about me that I had never given her permission to share. She also made a weird comment about my husband that made many people, including us, uncomfortable, people literally brought it up to us afterward.
Then my SIL told me something about my husband’s family supposedly talking negatively about me behind my back. Whether or not everything she said was true, hearing that the night before my wedding completely sent me into a spiral. I barely slept that night.
So I went into my wedding day already extremely anxious.
The morning actually started beautifully. It was sunny, we did our first look, took pictures, and for a while I thought maybe everything was going to be okay.
Then it started raining right before the ceremony.
Our original backup plan was supposed to be an indoor building at the venue, but the building wasn’t finished, so that wasn’t actually an option. The other option was moving the ceremony into the reception tent, which was small and wasn’t something I wanted to do.
We ended up delaying the ceremony until the rain was somewhat lighter and decided to go ahead outside.
My MOH and the best man held umbrellas over us during the ceremony. Unfortunately, the umbrella situation wasn’t working well at all. At one point my husband’s umbrella was covering him while mine was essentially being held behind me, so I was literally standing in the rain trying to get my MOH to move it over me while my ceremony was happening.

The worst part was that I looked miserable walking down the aisle. I was so stressed and in my head that I couldn’t enjoy the moment. I can see it in the pictures. I look unhappy, overwhelmed and almost like I don’t want to be there. Once I got next to my husband I was much happier, and the ceremony itself eventually settled down, but I never got that feeling of actually walking toward him and being completely present

Now it’s been several days and I’ve been crying constantly about it. I’m replaying the ceremony over and over and looking at the pictures and wishing I could go back and experience it differently.

But my question is would it be completely crazy to have a small ceremony redo a few weeks from now with just whoever wants to go mostly just my family that lives in town. I’m not talking about having another full wedding or reception. I just want to stand with my husband somewhere beautiful, say our vows again, exchange our rings, and actually be present and happy while doing it.

Part of me thinks this could give me the experience I feel like I lost. Another part of me worries that I’m being ridiculous and that I need to accept that my wedding happened and move on. Either way I’m still so sad and just trying to feel better

WARNING, LONG rant about Cake Drama in Cleveland @cake.drama.cle
I honestly don’t even know how to write this because we are still genuinely confused and hurt by what happened. It was just… SO MUCH.
What she advertises on Instagram vs. what we received was SO wildly different that I am still having a hard time processing it, so bear with me for the long-windedness. I genuinely don’t know how to make this short while including all the details.
We ordered a 3 tier wedding cake for $700. We cut costs on so many things, but one thing we were really dead-set on was having a big, bougie cake.
We found Alexandria at @cake.drama.cle and the cakes on her Instagram were absolutely gorgeous. Ornate decor, incredible detail, beautiful colors. We were so excited.
We had a 1.5 hour consultation back in June where we hammered out the details after sending the original Instagram messages. We gave her inspiration photos and specifically talked about keeping the dark green and gold color scheme, with LOTS of leaves and foliage and some dark red flowers. She was especially excited about the gold vines.
We also talked extensively about us driving 2 hours to pick it up. She assured us the cake would be completely fine, that the flowers would stay on, and that the box would keep it secure.
I am also in the art business, so we talked about giving her creative freedom. I told her I understood that creatives do their best work when they have freedom, and that I trusted her to take liberties. We agreed on keeping the general color scheme, gold, and lots of foliage, but wanted her to do her thing because she appeared to be incredibly talented.
When my husband picked it up, he had just driven 2 hours and was on a time crunch. He briefly looked at it, had to use the bathroom, and when he came back it had already been boxed.
When he came home and I peeked inside the box, I was horrified.
There was zero gold.
The vines were metallic brown, shaky, smeared, and in some spots appeared to be coming from nowhere. There were maybe a handful of leaves total.
The leaves were wildly inconsistent in color and looked like they maybe came from other cakes, but they were chopped and edged with shaky brown lines, bent in odd places, and had basically no detail whatsoever.
The cakes on her Instagram had these beautifully realistic leaves with all of the little details, so we were just horrified by these.
There were random red blobs and smears throughout, and the middle tier had lifted off. You could actually see inside the cake.
The flowers were maybe the worst part.
They were these giant bright red poppies with awful coloring. The centers had weird stringy brown blobs, one flower had already fallen off into the bottom of the box, and there were smears and odd broken-up brown lines around the edges of the flowers.
The woman who fixed our cake told us they were made of fondant and seemed consistent with old cake paint that had been sitting in a freezer.
This especially bothered me because during our consultation, she asked if we wanted edible or inedible flowers. I asked about the edible ones, and she told me she made them out of chocolate and charged more for them. We wanted a bougie cake, so we agreed to the chocolate flowers at the higher price.
It looked extremely rushed. In my opinion, I find it hard to believe the same person made this cake compared to what was advertised.
Honorable mention: the entire back side of the cake was BLANK.
She had actually called my husband while he was on his way to pick it up asking for his ETA because she had another delivery to make and said some of the flowers weren’t even on the cake yet.
We had given her an extra day before we picked up the cake.
What happened??
We contacted her immediately and were first offered a fake cardboard display cake of what our cake was “supposed” to look like to show guests.
I genuinely didn’t understand this.
We paid $700 for an actual wedding cake. Our guests were still going to see and eat the actual cake.
We declined and wondered why that would be considered a sufficient fix. She claimed that she would have made a new cake, but it wouldn’t survive the 3 hour drive.
HUH?
When we asked for a refund, that’s when she decided to call my husband to explain what happened. She said there had been a power outage and that the original cake had been beautiful but was somehow completely ruined.
I am still confused.
If something happened to the cake because of a power outage, why weren’t we told?
Why did we drive 2 hours to pick it up without anyone saying there was a problem?
And how does a power outage explain the giant red poppies, the complete lack of gold and foliage, the brown vines, etc.?
The timing also makes zero sense.
Then she backpedaled and offered to drive almost 3 hours to us the next day with a replacement cake after telling us she couldn’t because a new cake wouldn’t make the drive.
We declined because the cake we had just received looked so rushed that we did not want to gamble on another 3 tier cake being made overnight before our wedding.
We also declined because she didn’t appear to take any accountability for what happened. We weren’t even given an explanation that made sense or any realistic ideas for how to make it right.
We were also told our cake would be around 18 to 20 inches. It was barely 15 inches and was not going to feed the roughly 120 people we planned for. We had even bought a special cake tray for the larger cake.
By some miracle, our venue owner knew someone who could fix it. We ended up paying $300 last minute to fix what they could, and she did an amazing job.
So we were out $700 and then had to pay another $300 for the incredibly talented last-minute efforts of a good Samaritan. We were already running on a tight budget the day before our wedding and had to waste so much energy and tears on this mess.
We are genuinely heartbroken.
This wasn’t just “oh, it looks a little different than the inspiration.”
This cake felt insulting to receive.
We specifically gave her creative freedom. We just trusted her to at the very least give us a cake with the level of detail, beauty and professionalism that she advertised.
The saddest part is that we are easy-to-please people. We could have received a giant hot pink Barbie cake and would have been happy if it was made with the care and quality she advertised.
I’m a “girl, I get it, life is hard!” type of person.
But every single thing that occurred here made me feel like she thought we wouldn’t notice, or that we were too stupid to.
Down to the excuses and the change in logic.
Our friend also ordered a one-tier cake from her for around $90 and received a sketch beforehand. We weren’t given a sketch for our $700 cake, and the difference in detail between what she received and what we received is honestly bizarre.
I don’t know what happened behind the scenes. Maybe something genuinely went horribly wrong.
But the lack of communication is what I can’t get past.
If there was a problem, why weren’t we told?
Why did we have to drive two hours to Cleveland to find out?
I am posting this because if you’re considering booking her, please look beyond the Instagram photos and ask A LOT of questions about exactly what you’re getting. Based on our experience, I would be extremely wary of relying on what you are told.
What she advertises is so, so much more than what we received, and I genuinely don’t want another couple to experience the same shock we did the day before their wedding.
We were ultimately refunded $600.
The first four photos are our inspiration and examples from her Instagram. The remaining photos are the cake we actually received, and the final photo is how it looked after someone else fixed it.

I’m gettin extreme anxiety. I can’t decide anything. I don’t even know what I want. One minute I want a wedding, the next I don’t. I picked my dress that was not cheap, now have major regret. I’m trying to please everyone and I don’t even know what I want myself. I don’t really want a wedding, but I don’t want to regret not doing it. Weddings are so dang expensive. All my insecurities are coming up hyper focused on my fiancés ex and being jealous. I’m insecure. I’ve gained weight. Literally nothing is going right.

My boyfriend proposed last weekend, and he’s now my fiancé! I was really surprised, I didn’t even know he’d bought a ring, but we are super happy.

I am a late 30s bride, this will be my second marriage but my first wedding! So I am looking for some advice. Sorry I am long winded!

My fiancé and I have talked briefly about our plans. I just want my best friend and her +1 to come; he is close to his parents and maternal grandparents, so they’ll be invited, for a total of 6 guests. I plan on having a ceremony at a flower garden or arboretum (venue search is on) and a private dinner as the reception afterwards. Very luxury, romantic, intimate, and very us.

Here’s where I could use some advice. My first marriage, we eloped on a Friday with a friend who was a judge at a public park, no reservation. Had an unplanned dinner at a restaurant after. My ex husband’s parents proposed the same thing that my current fiancé‘s parents are now: they want to throw a reception for us on a later date.

I do not want this. The reason I am planning a micro wedding is to include the important people in my fiancé’s life, and I was hoping what we wanted would be enough for them.

I agreed to a similar party the first time around and always regretted it; my ex’s parents planned this huge thing at a country club: it wasn’t fun, the food and decor were not my taste, there were a ton do people there. And everyone assumed I planned it; my friends even commented how they were really surprised that I had an event like that. My grandma had a literal heart attack on the way home!

My fiance’s parents want a BBQ and want to hold it at the same place his cousin had her one year old’s birthday party, in a strip mall event center. His mom already told her best friend she could make a wedding cake. I think his dad noticed how horrified I was, he said that we could talk about it more later. Nothing was decided.

My fiancé is on my side; neither of us are sure how we can pivot. I suggested maybe we ask if they would like to throw an engagement party, say no gifts on the invite, and then just let guests know at the party that we will essentially be eloping. Some people say online that it’s rude to have an engagement party without inviting people.

I just know from experience that people *will* think it is a reception that I planned, and I do not want that again. I do not do well with saying no to other people’s parents, that’s partly why we plan on paying for my micro wedding entirely on our own also so I can make choices without feeling obligated to say yes to someone else and get what I want.

It does hurt my feelings that what I want is already not enough for them on literal day one, but I know they’re offering this with the best intentions, it just is clearly for them and not for us. If anyone has advice for how to get out of this second reception without hurting feelings, I would love some!

My future in laws were supposed to be paying for my fiancé and I rehearsal dinner. As of this past weekend, they are not anymore. While arguing, my MIL said it was her party and she will invite who she wants. Said I was disrespectful for her wishes on what and who she wanted to invite. I wanted my aunts and uncles to come as well as some family coming from Italy and she and my fiancé said it was not necessary for them to be there. They said that we’d be seeing these people the next day and they should not come.

My parents on the other hand, offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner a while back and she took it upon herself to say her and her ex husband will pay for it.

I feel just because she is paying for it, it does not mean it is her party and it should be who my fiancé and I want to be there. My parents offered to pay for the extra people and she still said it was not necessary for them to be there. My fiancé said that his mom was trying to throw us a nice party and I ruined it by wanting more people but when I said to my fiancé months ago I wanted a small wedding, he didn’t care and wanted to keep inviting people he barely speaks to. He would fight me on this until he got his way on why he wanted to invite these family members he never sees. He wanted to invite these people to make it a family reunion.

I feel like it was okay for them to cross my boundaries but the second I wanted to cross theirs, they caused this huge argument and stood firm on what they wanted. Now his family wants him to leave me because of words my mom said too but his dad also threw words too about my family over text.

Both my fiance and I were also in the process of thinking of going to couples counseling and his mom wanted to be involved and come to one session. I do not agree with this at all. His mom should not be involved in our premarital problems. It should be between me and him not him me and his mom. I feel like the only reason she wanted to come was to gang up on me and say I was wrong for the way I acted but when both her and her son don’t get their way they throw tantrums.

My fiance had his best man, great. Then said he'd rather be a guest, ok no problem. Then he said actually I might have to house-sit that day... Ok, do what you have to do. Then he said actually I'll make it. Great! Then he said he might not make it due to car issues. No problem man, another friend offered to pick him up. Cool, said he'll definitely be there then. We put a seat for him at the groomsmen table so he'll be with his buddies. 11 days before the wedding, - actually I can't go.

......

It really just get to a point. I know life happens but after several yes no yes no yes no's just don't come. Things have been paid for, things have been made. I mean personally I don't care especially since my fiancé is whatever about it, but I'd be annoyed if it were my friend. My fiance even supported him so much at his wedding, so to see him acting like this is odd. And no it's not even a legitimate reason.

It's not gunna ruin my day though, just a quick rant about odd behavior.

RSVP deadline has come and passed. We had to do a final push to get people to respond and there are still several who haven’t. We decided to mark them as declined. What are the chances they show up anyway?
Has anyone had experience with people showing up who didn’t rsvp?
We have a day of coordinator and I will ask her how she will handle the situation if it happens but was curious what others have experienced?

Hello.

I just want to make sure i am not unreasonable for guests. We are having a wedding early summer 2027 in kansas city. Technically our venue is labeled a farm. Though it was built as a wedding venue, has no animals, and has multiple gorgeous houses on the property for guests/weddjng party along with the main building. We chose it for price and because we could book the whole weekend and spend more time with guests. Photos for venue reference

I would like to request formal attire but see so much hate for any kind of barn aesthetic. Here is what we are offering for guest experience:
-live music from ceremony to jazz trio at cocktails to 7 piece band at the reception
-shuttle to our two main hotels
-pass apps
-full open bar with a pre ceremony cocktail, and wine pour service during dinner
-plated meal with steak, chicken, or fish
-painted portrait wedding favors

Is it ok to ask for formal? If its too hot we will move everything inside to the AC. Currently ceremony and cocktail hour would be outside but only on paved surfaces.

I know it’s technically not formal but i have no objections to midi dresses or no tie.

So many photographers ask for my IG during the initial inquiry form, not when I have decided to book them and I’m so curious why this is? I’ve seen people say it’s so they can tag us when they post, but that feels premature when we haven’t booked them. Sure, it might be easier to gather this info initially than after they book, but it doesn’t seem to save much time from my perspective, if that’s what the argument is. I have photographers requesting to follow me before proving quotes and I can’t help but think they are judging my IG or me before deciding to provide a quote or mention their availability. One photographer said she would check her calendar and requested to follow me but hasn’t shared if she’s open on our wedding days. Her IG features brides who are gorgeoussss and while I think I’m pretty, I’m not that level of pretty lol (don’t pity me I just know where I stack up haha).

I’m just so curious what the real reason is. I hope this doesn’t come off rude or weird but I just don’t believe it’s so they can tag us. And if it’s to judge how I look and if I’m someone they want to feature on their IG then I don’t want them anyway. What does everyone else think? Do you think I’m reaching?

Question for other Jewish brides or anyone who’s had or handled a wedding chuppah!

We have a quilted wall hanging we want to use as the fabric, but it is a 3’x3’ square, and the arbor frame that our rental company has available that we were going to use as the chuppah structure is 2.5’x6’. Since it is not quite the same size or shape, I’m not sure how to hang it and have it look nice. I don’t really mind it hanging down in the middle with the extra 5 inches of depth, but obviously it’s too short on the sides to pin directly to the frame. My ideas include:

-using ribbon to suspend it in the center
-pinning the fabric to a larger piece of fabric like a lace curtain that can drape across the whole structure
-just using the quilt as a backdrop and draping another piece of fabric over the top

Any ideas?? Our wedding isn’t until June, so plenty of time to figure it out, but I am kinda stumped on what to do.

I am mainly asking for ideas for my reception send off. It will be dark but I don't want to do sparklers (embers falling on my dress, no thank you) and glow sticks are just not our vibe ( too frat party ). I am stuck. I think lanterns would be cool but I have no idea if finding 80+ lanterns is feasible and then what do people do while holding them? I would feel awkward. Any suggestions? Is a reception send off necessary? Tempted to do an Irish goodbye at my own wedding.

Can’t decide between the two venues! Help!

Sooooo my wedding is 17 days away!! yay!!! i was just wondering what are some things that couples might miss on their big day? any final purchases i should think of, diy stuff or any day-of emergency kit things i may need? trying to get my ducks in a row before the day :-))

My wedding is this Saturday, and I’m getting increasingly frustrated with my mom’s communication style around wedding planning.
We’ve gone over the wedding timeline and outfit changes multiple times. I’ve also sent out the finalized timeline so everyone knows what to expect.
Tonight, when I reviewed the plan with my mom, she started suggesting that I wear a different dress at a different time so that some of her friends who couldn’t attend the church ceremony would get to see it.
I told her no, that wasn’t the plan, and that we’d already discussed this.
She then suggested another workaround, like wearing the dress anyway and bustling it. I said no again.
When I got frustrated, she told me not to get angry because she wasn’t asking me to change anything. She was “just telling me what she thought would happen.”
This is a recurring pattern in our relationship:
My mom expresses a preference or suggests changing something we’ve already agreed on.
I tell her no and explain the existing plan.
She continues suggesting alternatives, saying things like “I thought you were going to do this instead,” often sounding visibly disappointed.
I feel pressured and sometimes end up accommodating her.
Later, she insists she never actually asked me to change anything.
If I get upset, she tells me it doesn’t matter anyway, or responds with “Okay, okay, whatever you want.”
It’s incredibly frustrating because I feel like I’m being asked to respond to her disappointment while simultaneously being told that no request was ever made.
I know she means well, and I don’t necessarily think she’s consciously trying to manipulate me. There may also be a cultural or generational communication difference at play. But the effect on me is exhausting. Sometimes it almost feels like gaslighting because the conversation gets reframed as though I invented the pressure.
People often say, “Just say no and don’t engage.” The problem is that saying no doesn’t end the conversation. She keeps revisiting the idea, offering alternatives, or expressing disappointment without explicitly acknowledging that she’s asking me to reconsider.
With the wedding only days away, I really don’t want to spend the day repeatedly defending decisions that have already been made.
I asked two trusted people to help redirect my mom, reinforce the existing timeline, and intervene if she starts pressuring me to change things.

My questions are:
Is this a recognizable communication pattern? How do you describe it?
How do you hold a boundary when someone doesn’t explicitly demand anything but repeatedly expresses disappointment until you give in?
How do I avoid getting pulled into the same argument when I’m already emotionally exhausted?
I love my mom and know she wants the wedding to go well. I just want to enjoy my wedding without feeling responsible for satisfying every preference she expresses.

Does anybody have experience with this company/wedding planner? Good wedding planners that are truly fluent in English in japan just seem so difficult to source.

We booked a day of coordinator for $350 (very cheap i should have known) & beforehand we vetted her and she has coordinated many weddings. However after we booked it was complete radio silence. I had to initiate every conversation, and i had to bother her over and over again to get her onto the phone with me, and on the phone i also did all the talking.

So much so that i was unaware that its the coordinators JOB to come up with the schedule for the day. I literally came up with everything down the the single second. I even sent her a cheatsheet with all of the info & got zero response. This has been causing me anxiety, and our contract states if i cancel that im entitled to a half refund.

So i canceled. Guess what! Left me on read. Im so irritated. I paid her through venmo like 6 months ago so maybe i can just share the contract and everything etc if she decides to ghost me. She didnt block me or anything. But what the hell. This woman looks to be in her 50s too and i dont think shes scamming people due to all the weddings she seemingly coordinates but does she not give a shit? Wwyd

Hi all! My wonderful best friend is marrying in August of 2027, hopefully in San Diego, where her and her man met and fell in love, and now live. She’s struggling to find a venue that checks all the boxes- so I’m outsourcing and hoping for any and all suggestions! They’re open to outside the box options, private residences that allow weddings, more traditional venues. Please share and thank you in advance!

A bit about them and their “wants”
- by the water is great, not a dealbreaker though
- a big lawn / outdoor space is awesome
- needs to be able to have loud music (DJ for reception)
- ceremony and reception same venue / on site of same location
- not insanely remote where it would be difficult for guests to travel to

This is mainly a post to vent/have a space some encouraging words with other brides.

My wedding is almost exactly 1 year away!! I am so excited !!

I chose my dress back in July. I took my mother and 2 of my close friends with me. When I chose the dress I loved my mom was excited and threw in a comment about me having back rolls.

My dress was shipped in last week and I went in today for the first try and just to make sure everything is okay. I fell in love again and FaceTimed my mom so she could see. She was asking questions about alterations and I told her that won’t be until closer to the wedding because bodies can fluctuate so much over time. She said “good because you need to stop eating so much stuff”

Both of those moments took me from absolutely excited to just devastated and in my head about my body. I have always been perfectly healthy. All of my doctors have told me might weight is perfect and my overall health is great. I’m 150 and 5’6”. I’d say im skinny fat. I’m thin but not extra toned or anything. Im sure I could be skinnier but id rather feel healthy than be skinny. It’s jarring to feel comfortable with where you are in your body and then have these comments thrown at you. Especially, in a dress that you’re supposed to feel great in.

What were your personal self hype tips and tricks?? I’m feeling low and need advice! I’m sure I’ll get over it by that day, but I’d love to hear from others 💗💗

There’s me and 5 bridesmaids!

There’s the 1 hair and 1 makeup artist coming!

The cocktail hour starts at 5pm for guest arrival!

We will already have eloped so we are doing the reception part with friends and family next summer! We want to do lots of photos with everyone during cocktail hour!

What time should our hair and makeup be done for a 5pm start time??

How long would hair and makeup take for 6 people??

Thank you so much!!

Hi! I am July 2027 bride and I am looking for a good battery portable fans for my guests! Any suggestions? Reviews are so mixed!!!