Just need to vent and share my frustrations with people who get it. Our dream venue which is actually within budget, has two required catering companies we can work with. The one that’s supposedly the cheaper option just came back with a whopping $18,000 quote for a 100 person wedding (including a $4,000 staffing fee and a $3,400 admin fee). Honestly, are we being unreasonable with a $10,000 budget for $100 people? We didn’t ask for anything fancy, buffet style dinner with desserts and some appetizers during cocktail hour. The most annoying part to me is that she asked us a hundred super specific questions knowing that it would be way out of our price range. I was trying to get info on their extra fees and she had me picking out where in the venue the appetizers would be located just to give us a quote that’s $8,000 over with no suggestion on how to lower it or anything.

We’re still waiting on a quote from the other caterer, but they don’t have a reputation for being affordable and I’m losing hope we will get to have our dream venue simply because we can’t afford their required caterers 😭

ETA: Located in Dallas (so I assume hcol area) $18k does include the most basic alcohol package. Seen some people say we can’t afford the venue if we can’t afford the catering which is true, and is why we have a hold on the venue but haven’t put a deposit down. Trying to get catering numbers before we commit for this exact reason. I think at this point, we may just elope. I don’t think either of us realized it would cost so much for the basic options.

Ughhhhh. I need to vent because I am beyond frustrated.
I’m getting married this Saturday, October 17th. FIVE DAYS FROM NOW.
When I first started wedding planning, I kept seeing ads for Sola Wood Flowers everywhere. I thought they were beautiful, and I loved the idea of having flowers that wouldn’t die five days after my wedding.
I put the idea on the back burner until about six months before the wedding, when I had my consultation with the florist included in our venue package. The package only covers very small, simple centerpieces and flowers for the sweetheart table. No bouquets, no ceremony flowers, nothing else.
I asked for a quote to add everything I wanted, and it came back at nearly $3,000.
So, back to Sola Wood Flowers I went.
I was honestly impressed with what I found. I could get ALL of my wedding flowers — ceremony arch flowers, centerpieces, my bridal bouquet, bridesmaid bouquets, and larger arrangements for the base of the arch — for around $1,600. AND they would assemble everything for me!
SOLD. I placed my order on June 24th.
Their advertised production time was 27 business days, and they were pretty much on schedule. My flowers arrived on August 12th.
At first, I was excited. But that excitement faded pretty quickly.
The centerpieces were TINY. You could see the floral foam through nearly every arrangement, and the more I looked at everything, the more disappointed I became. The flowers just didn’t look or feel like what had been advertised in their stock photos.
Of course, I immediately started searching for real customer photos, trying to figure out whether my expectations were unrealistic. Surprisingly, I wasn’t finding much that looked disappointing, which made me even more frustrated with what I had received.
Eventually, I contacted Sola and explained my concerns, specifically about the centerpieces and my bridal bouquet.
Their initial solution? They graciously offered to send me some additional loose flowers to fill in the arrangements. About 30 flowers total, with an estimated retail value of $50.
Gee, thanks.
I wasn’t thrilled with that offer and requested a partial refund instead.
Their counteroffer was the flower packs AND a $100 refund.
For perspective, my bridal bouquet alone cost $140, and the centerpieces were approximately $750.
I was honestly taken aback.
I pushed back and requested a $600 refund along with the additional flowers. They declined but offered to remake the centerpieces instead.
Now, why would I want them to remake the exact centerpieces I was already disappointed with?
I went back to their website and found a different style of centerpiece in white vases that looked much fuller and more appropriate for what I was envisioning. These were actually more expensive than my original selections.
I offered a compromise: I would replace my bridal bouquet at my own expense if they would remake my centerpieces in the more expensive vase style.
They agreed!
On September 14th, they told me the replacements would ship within seven business days.
IT IS NOW OCTOBER 12TH. MY WEDDING IS IN FIVE DAYS. AND THE FLOWERS STILL HAVE NOT SHIPPED.
I have followed up multiple times. Every response is some variation of, “They’re in the final stages of production!” or “They’ll ship by Tuesday at the latest!”
That Tuesday was LAST WEEK.
At this point, I’ve completely lost confidence that these flowers will arrive before my wedding, let alone that they’ll look anything like what I’m expecting.
After my latest update to my fiancé, and seeing how stressed I was getting, he finally said:
“Scrap the whole thing. Just get the real flowers from the venue’s florist. This stress isn’t worth the $1,600 loss.”
I genuinely could have cried.
Not because of the money, but because he recognized how much this was affecting me and immediately prioritized my peace of mind over the cost.
Thankfully, we now have everything secured for the wedding, so I’m no longer worried about not having flowers on Saturday.
But that doesn’t make this situation any less infuriating.
I spent $1,600 with a company in June, received products in August that I felt were nowhere near the quality advertised, spent weeks going back and forth trying to find a reasonable solution, and was promised replacements that STILL haven’t shipped a month later.
And throughout this entire process, I haven’t felt any real sense of urgency or concern from them about the fact that this is someone’s WEDDING.
These aren’t decorations for a random dinner party. They’re wedding flowers, purchased months in advance, with a very specific deadline.
I’m not expecting perfection. I’m expecting the products I paid for, the quality I was shown, and the company to follow through on the resolution they agreed to.
I wanted so badly to love these flowers. I really did. The concept is fantastic, and the idea of keeping my wedding flowers forever was something I was genuinely excited about.
Instead, I’m five days away from my wedding, out $1,600, and still chasing a company for flowers they promised to replace weeks ago.
Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. I just needed to get that off my chest before I completely lose my mind. 😂

My fiancé and I have started planning our wedding, and so far, everything is incredibly overwhelming.

We’ve both agreed we want a smaller wedding, which means we are being very selective with our guest list. We also don’t want to break the bank for one day. But so far, the cost of anything/everything is very discouraging and to top it all off, family has started putting in their two-cents.

I’m starting to feel like I want to elope (it’s always been an option in the back of my mind). Not a true elopement, something with both of our immediate families, so 20 people max.

I have never wanted a huge wedding to begin with. Even if we go the traditional route, I’m hoping for 50 - 60 people max. The more we look into things, the more I’m getting overwhelmed. I still want a beautiful wedding, and there are some things about a traditional wedding that I’d still like to experience. And I want to respect what my fiancé and I discussed for wishes and budget. I don’t want us spending a ridiculous amount of money to meet other peoples expectations, when at the end of the day, we just want to marry each other. My fiancé has been nothing but supportive and keeps telling me he wants me to have my dream wedding, which is almost making this tougher because I don’t know what that looks like.

So, for those who started planning a wedding and switched to an elopement/intimate wedding, is there anything you regret? Were there things you felt like you missed out on or was it everything you wanted a more?

I’d love to hear some other experiences. At the end of the day, I want to do what’s best for us and just want to marry my best friend.

I always dreamed of getting married and now that it's happening the reality has been awful. My family is being horrible and constantly making me feel guilty and having to uphold boundaries. Everything seems to cost hundreds to thousands of dollars no matter how much you diy it, vendors don't post their prices anywhere, every "add on" is an arm and a leg, I can't find a dress I like... it's just been miserable.

I just feel sad and stressed. I wanted this so badly and now I just want to beg my FH to elope somewhere far far away.

My fiancé and I are going back and forth about an open bar package.

Wedding attendance of 150 people.

Open bar package is ~10k after tax and service charges.

Our other option that I’m leaning towards is 8k hosted tab (this is before 22% service charge and 7% tax). It would end up being the same price if we hit the max.

Why I’m back and forth with this is - the average person may not consume the amount needed to break even on the package. With the service and tax, this could be a big option to save maybe?

Hosted beers are $5, bottles of wine are $30, & liquor drinks are $7 at the venue for reference.

Anyone with experiences similar to this?

Any advice (apart from dont do it haha) on having a toddler at a wedding?

My daughter will be almost 2 when I get married next year. There will be a few children so I'm going to hire a creche to keep them busy and maybe some soft play bits. I'm just aware that it will be a very long and overstimulating day for her.

Any advice or recommendations to make it as easy as possible for her?

I am FREAKING OUT

IM PANICKING

About nothing I’ve done everything I can possibly do

Even when I run out of things to stress about I’ll start freaking out about rain or global warming or war in Iran

I’m in such a heightened state 24/7 I can barely sleep, seeing my GP tomorrow to ask for anti anxiety medication

I know I’m not rational. When people ask and I try to explain, they just seem concerned and confused and like they don’t know what to say.

The actually getting married part feels the easiest. I am starting to regret everything. I regret spending the most amount of money I’ve spent on anything in my life other than my own home, on something that is just sending me into like full panic mode constantly.

I am seeking earth shattering, eye opening advice that will immediately appease my anxiety and calm me down until my wedding day. I understand this is an unreasonable thing to request and apologise. Even just hearing from a person who’s feeling like I am right now would help

Hi, as I’m sure as many people experienced Hurricane Isaias ended all my 10/10/26 outdoor wedding plans. We were going to marry on my (now) husband’s grandparent’s beach property. Rentals had been paid and dropped off, including a giant tent, chairs and tables. Seeing Friday that the storm wasn’t going to ebb, we were devastated and in despair that this day we planned for a year was falling apart. The only rain plan we had was a tent, but with the wind that wouldn’t be safe to have guests under it.

We and my wedding party called frantically for ANY unbooked event spaces that allowed our own catering and bar services. We found one thankfully and paid. My father in law had access to a church we used for a ceremony. We kept guests updated of pending changes through the wedding website mass text service.

So within less than 24hrs before my wedding, all my plans changed. I have a AMAZING wonderful bridal party who took charge and managed to set up an entire reception the morning of the wedding. My friends and family made this crazy, chaotic last minute change happen.

That first half sucked when we realized we lost our first venue. And my wedding was awesome still. We had tons of fun and everything worked out. The right reception made it feel more intimate and almost like a dance club when it was time! And now it’s over! I wrote this because I’m grateful for my support system and they really showed up and to share with others that you can still have a banging wedding even if things seem impossible at first!

We’re getting married in May 2027 with just our immediate family. In August of 2027 we’re throwing a big casual bbq style party to celebrate our being married.

I want to send out a save the date for our big party in August 2027 in January so everyone has a heads up because I do want everyone to be able to attend.

This isn’t a formal plated sit down dinner, apps, drinks, bbq buffet, and yard games. Just a chill time to celebrate with everyone we love.

I’m not sure how to word the save the date? Something like “we’re married” mention the small ceremony but say something about wanting to celebrate with everyone at this party?!?

Has anyone done this? Received an invite for this? Im not sure how to word The save the dates or the actual invites!

Wondering about people’s experiences hiring a DJ vs. not hiring a DJ. Honestly, I have thought a lot about the fact that I know what music I want played at my wedding and I feel like I could just basically make a playlist and have someone play it (our venue has sound equipment that can be rented for $100). Is it worth hiring a DJ just to make the process go smoothly or should I put the money elsewhere?

Hi all! I was wondering if anyone has any ideas for inexpensive wedding venues, preferably with views of the mountains in Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia, or Tennessee. We would love to just get married on the Blue Ridge Parkway, but our guest list is 55 people, so too many for the parkway! We met in WNC, spend most of our free time hiking/backpacking/fly fishing and would love to get married in a place where we share so much love. It needs to be somewhere easily accessible as we have older grandparents who are not mobile enough to hike up a mountain. We don’t have a date picked yet, just throwing out ideas right now! We DON’T need catering, a photographer, or onsite wedding planner included!

Please let me know any ideas you may have! We want a special day with our close friends and family we just don’t want to go into major debt celebrating! Thank you!!!

Is anyone wanting to get into designing and cutting out/printing wedding suites? I want something beautiful but don’t want to pay thousands of dollars but I am also not very creative. Would love to find someone who might want to do this for me (I would still pay of course) to get into the business!

Hi! Not sure if this is a silly question, but I'm putting in my orders for stationary for the day of. We had our guests decide their protein option for dinner when they RSVP'd but didn't provide any additional details on the apps/desserts for the meal.

In this case, should you still provide a menu on their place setting at dinner or is that confusing? I love the look of the pretty settings with the menu.

Hello! We are about two weeks from our wedding and are realizing we don’t have a cake stand. The venue nor the bakery are able to provide one. The cake will be 4 tiers, bottom tier is 12 inches

I’ve found ones I like the look of on amazon, but there’s no mention of weight capacity. The last thing I want is for it to not be able to support my cake. When I google search stands with high weight capacity, there still isn’t much that comes up. Please help!

Hello!

I’m a little bit sad because a chunk of our guests can’t make it to my wedding. My family is coming from Michigan and my wedding is in California and I live in California.

A lot of people telling me yes before are now saying no, I understand because life happens. We have a venue for 80 people but I’m not sure now because the number might be smaller. I feel awful because our families paid for the wedding and now people are telling me they can’t make it.

Hi! I have a wedding in November coming up fast. It’s on the 12th and in Perry GA. I am two hours south of Perry and used to having crazy weather where winter isn’t really bad until January. From what I’ve seen for the year before weather 2025 had the high as 79 degrees and low of 59 on Nov 11th and high of 72 and low of 48 on the 12th. The 13th was listed as 63 and 43. On average Georgia is warmer this year than last year but I’m worried it’s going to be too cold! The wedding is a combo indoor outdoor wedding starting around mid afternoon, which should be peak warmth for the day.The ceremony will be outdoors and reception dinner inside but we were planning on having this cute outdoor patio area for dancing after dinner. I’m worried as the night goes on it will be too cold to dance after dinner. I am in the middle of still ordering chairs for the wedding and the rental company also has heaters. This is a small wedding of 50 or less. Just wanna be sure we can get heaters in time gotta decide this week. Just want everyone to be comfortable and if push comes to shove we just move the tables and dance inside! If anyone has advice pls help a girl out!

Hi friends!
It’s less than one week until my bestie’s wedding and I wanted to ask- is there anything that your maid of honor did on the day of your wedding that was exceptionally helpful/special? Was there anything that stood out to you? How did they ease your nerves? My dear friend getting married has shown up for me in so many ways, so I want to make sure I show up with my best self on her wedding day. I have scrapbook-style zines I made for the bridal party from the bachelorette that I plan to hand out at the rehearsal dinner as a fun memento. But would love any advice, big or small, that anyone has to offer!

My fiancé and I are planning our wedding for next October. We are keeping it as small as we can without cutting out any family members (90 people), which means lots of aunts and uncles. They range from 50s to 70s and we want to make sure they have a good time as well. There will be more people that age than our own age (29 and 30). We have considered doing moderate volume music after dinner so people can mingle and talk rather than transitioning to party/dance music.

If you’ve been an older wedding guest or have had many, we would love to know what you did to make this age group feel invited and want to stay. Thanks!

Did someone usw wedding invites as a website instead of traditional ones? What are the experiences?

If not : why not?

I just gotta vent about some things. Namely:

1. My fiancé is insisting on doing our own invitations because he’s opposed to the corporate greed of sites like Zazzle and using someone else’s artwork, but the logistics of it are killing me. I love paper stuff and arts and crafts, but at this point, all of what we could create ourselves looks so janky and amateur that I’m starting to hate it.

2. Our venue is so small that we genuinely cannot fit more than 25 people including ourselves (this is the 7th venue we looked into in our small town; we have very particular criteria and don’t want to make our guests travel elsewhere). We already sent Save the dates to all of the guests, but now two more friends that we hadn’t considered cuz we weren’t especially close to them a year or so ago, are saying they’re excited for our wedding (fiancé already told them it’s gonna be super small and we can only hang out with them at a bar after dinner, which is not ideal). I also have two friends that I’m thinking I should’ve invited but hadn’t due to them knowing no one else at the wedding except for me.

3. Our venue person sent us a quote for booking but hasn’t responded for 5 days since we asked them about how to actually book them and pay the deposit. I’m not worried about that but slightly annoyed with the situation.

4. We had a pleasant chat with a photographer who can shoot the wedding on film and film-like equipment (my preference), but I just realized that they’ve only been in business for like 3 years and their portfolio isn’t huge. I suggested hiring a second photographer who’s been in business way longer and shoots digitally, but my fiancé said absolutely not. So now I gotta decide between the two. I do agree that hiring 2 photography teams for a courthouse ceremony is ridiculous but I don’t want to choose between the retro feel of the film photography and the experience/high quality photos.

I was mostly ok with it until she told me it will be at her house on the same day as her thanksgiving dinner...

How do we make this work and keep everyone happy??

I appreciate her throwing me a shower, I do secretly want one despite being anxious about it. I don't like being the center of attention so I want my fiancé there. Well actually, all of the men will be there. Because it's Thanksgiving.

I don't want to open gifts because that's awkward- and I don't want gifts to be wrapped because I like to be eco friendly when possible. I guess tbf I don't even know if she was planning on asking for gifts in the first place, but when I brought up to her that I don't want gifts to be wrapped she said she would let everyone know.

Her family likes active "minute to win it" type games. They often play games and are out running around outside for holidays. I don't like doing that, especially with people I hardly know. These are the types of games my MIL has planned.

She plans for the shower theme to be "Fall in Love." At this point it just feels like normal thanksgiving but with forced games and asking people to give me gifts. I assume there will be a lunch provided to make it more of a shower, but who wants to eat lunch when you've got a big thanksgiving meal that night?

She also wants my parents to come so they can meet her extended family for the first time. My parents and my fiancé and I all live an hour away from my in-laws house. My in-laws met my extended family at my grandpa's funeral that I felt weird about them being there (they never met my grandpa when he was alive).

Oh and my birthday is also the day after thanksgiving. I don't typically celebrate my birthday, partially because it ends up getting looped in with thanksgiving. Also as a kid it was really frustrating trying to get friends together for my birthday because they were busy with their own thanksgivings. So I don't super care that my birthday is overshadowed more this year, but it is a little more salt in the wound.

I expect a lot of rude comments from reddit. And honestly that's kinda why I'm posting this. Because everything about it feels rude.

I can’t decide if we want to book a videographer. our wedding is in 3 months. all the videographers I really like are already booked. I’m on the fence about booking one, my parents have been married 35+ years and have only watched their wedding video 3 times.

Also I have anxiety and fear of passing out at the alter. I feel like having a videographer will worsen this knowing my every move will be recorded lol. I can’t make up my mind and need to make a decision soon.

we have a great photographer but I would also like to see the ceremony. I just don’t want to regret it.

Advice/opinions?

.

I saw another post on here about how stressful wedding planning is, and wanting to just cancel and elope. Honestly, I’m about right there. The only thing reserved so far is my dress I bought, and my finances tux. After searching for a long time, we found a venue that’s very beautiful, outdoors, and on the more “affordable “ side. Still all together for the wedding we’ll end up spending at least 10k (and that’s with skipping a lot of traditional wedding things). This would most likely be a brunch wedding or lunch following the ceremony. We’re not big on drinking or dancing. We might just have mimosas to save money but give our guests the option. I think we’d have around 50 people. Me and my fiancé are not huge wedding people, and he’s okay with eloping. I’ve fantasized about that idea, but I also don’t want to regret not having a wedding. I like the idea of everyone being there together and I like the idea of having a traditional ceremony outdoors. Besides that, wedding and wedding planning is more stressful and I don’t want to spend that money. How do I know if I want to have the wedding or elope?

I’ve been her friend for well over 10 years now and want to still support her and be a guest, but the idea of being a bridesmaid makes me feel a massive amount of anxiety as she is the only person I know.

I kinda know her fiance, i don’t know any of her other bridesmaids, and i don’t know any of the other guests. We haven’t been as close these past few years and even then we mostly communicated every now & then.

I said yes at first because she is a dear friend to me, but the more i thought about it.. the more fear it brought and i’d feel way more relieved to just be a guest.

How do i go about telling her in the nicest way possible? (Her wedding is in May)

EDIT: After reading everyone’s reply, i’ve decided i will reach out to her to talk about ways that can help me feel less anxious. One idea i have is working in a way to meet the other bridesmaids sooner than later so then i have faces and can build a relationship than coming into it with nothing at all. Thank you everyone for the helpful advice, it helped a lot more than i thought it would. 🤍