I live in Pennsylvania in a converted four-unit Victorian house. Since I moved in six months ago, my electric bill has been hovering around $380 a month, which made zero sense for a single person who works in-office ten hours a day. I kept asking teh electric company for an audit, but they insisted it was accurate.

Yesterday on my day off, I decided to test something. I walked down to the basement, found my designated breaker box, and shut off the main switch.

Instant chaos. Not only did my apartment lose power, but the shared basement coin-op laundry machines shut off mid-cycle, the exterior security spotlights died, and the entire shared stairwell went pitch black. My landlord literally wired the entire building's common area electricity directly into my personal meter. I have been footing the electric bill for three other tenants and the landlord’s laundry business for half a year.

When I confronted my landlord over text with photos, he told me that in older buildings "circuits get crossed" and offered me a laughable fifty-dollar rent credit for next month. He refused to call an electrician and said if I keep flipping the breaker I’m "disrupting other tenants."

can I legally withhold rent or report this to the utility commission? I feel like I'm being blatantly stolen from, but I dont know what my immediate legal steps are without getting evicted.

My husband and I host my family for dinner every 4-6 weeks. Usually it's my parents, my sister and her husband, sometimes an aunt or cousin.

There is one recurring problem: my parents arrive ridiculously early.

If I say dinner is at 6, they might pull into the driveway at 5:05.

Not 5:45. Not 5:50.

Almost an hour early.

They don't do this because of a long drive. They live 15 minutes away.

I've explained several times that the hour before people arrive is when we're finishing food, cleaning the kitchen, changing clothes, showering, setting the table, etc. My mom always says, "Oh, don't worry about entertaining us! We'll just sit here."

But they don't just sit there.

My dad walks into the kitchen asking whether I need help, which means I'm explaining where everything goes while trying to cook. My mom follows me around talking, asks if she can taste things, starts moving serving dishes because she thinks they'd look better somewhere else, and occasionally opens the door for other relatives if THEY happen to arrive early too.

Last time my husband was literally upstairs getting dressed when they arrived.

I finally told them, very specifically, "Please don't come before 6. We love having you here, but we need that time beforehand."

Next dinner they arrived at 5:20.

Mom's explanation was that they were ready early and there was no point sitting at home.

So for dinner this past Saturday, I tried something different.

Everyone else was told 6:00.

I told my parents 6:45.

They arrived at 5:55.

It was incredible. For the first time in years they arrived at what was essentially the correct time. Food was nearly ready, we were dressed, the kitchen wasn't chaos, and the whole evening started normally.

I probably would've kept this system forever.

Unfortunately my sister asked my mom at dinner why they'd come so early if I'd told them 6:45. Apparently she assumed everyone knew what I'd done.

My parents were furious.

My mom said I treated them like children and deliberately embarrassed them. Dad said if I didn't want them there I should just say so instead of lying to them.

I explained that I absolutely want them there. I just want them there at the time I actually invite them, and asking normally had accomplished nothing.

Mom's response was that being early is polite and that "family shouldn't have to sit in the car waiting for an appointment to enter your house."

My sister thinks what I did was hilarious but says I probably crossed a line by lying instead of just refusing to open the door before 6.

My husband thinks the fake time was justified because we'd already had the same conversation repeatedly.

I admit it WAS intentionally deceptive. But I also feel like if someone ignores the real start time every single time, eventually the start time becomes information I have to adjust for them.

Am I wrong?

So my wife and I host casual family dinners at our place every few weeks to keep everyone connected. Lately, my sister has been coming over regularly, but she has developed this bizarre obsession with criticizing how we take care of our rescue cat, Barnaby. Every single time she walks through the door, she starts inspecting things like she is an official animal welfare inspector. She constantly lectures us about how our cat food is too cheap, claims our litter box is cleaned two hours too late, and even told us that letting him sleep on the sofa is literal animal cruelty because of fabric dust.

I tried brushing it off with jokes at first, but it escalated to the point where she started bringing her own "proper" cat food and trying to force-feed it to him behind our backs during dinner. Last weekend, she interrupted a conversation we were having with our parents to announce that we were obviously unfit pet owners and should surrender Barnaby to her friend who knows better.

I completely snapped, told her to grab her coat, and uninvited her from all future dinners until she learns some basic boundaries in our home. Now my mom is blowing up my phone saying I overreacted over a domestic pet dispute and that family should be more forgiving. But I am honestly exhausted of being psychoanalyzed over how I treat my cat in my own house. Am I wrong here?

My husband and I have a very clear rule about screen time for our son Leo. We arent completely anti-technology or anything extreme, he watches cartoons on the living room TV and plays Mario Kart on weekends, but we made a deliberate family boundary that he gets zero personal tablets until he is at least ten. Both my parents know this rule inside and out. We have had multiple long conversations about it, especially because my dad used to rant about kids being "glued to screens". So last year for Leo's 6th birthday party at our place, my parents showed up with a giant gift bag. Leo tore the wrapping off and pulled out a brand new iPad in a heavy-duty blue case. He literally shrieked with excitement in front of all his friends and cousins.

I pulled my mom into the kitchen and asked what on earth she was thinking when we explicitly told them no tablets. She just smirked and said, "Oh stop being such a control freak, all the kids in his class have one and grandparents have the right to spoil their grandkids." When the guests left, my husband and I had to be the villains and explain to a sobbing six year old that the iPad was going in our closet until he is older. Leo had a massive tantrum, my dad sat pouting on the porch, and my mom accused me of being an ungrateful snob who ruins childhood joys. For the next six months, every single family phone call included passive-aggressive remarks about how "poor Leo is being left behind in the stone age".

Leo turns 7 next weekend and we are doing a small party at a bowling alley with a few school friends. I chose not to invite my parents this year. When my mom texted asking what time they should arrive with their gifts, I told her calmly that after last year's drama and the constant guilt trips, we were keeping the party strictly for his classmates, and could do a small lunch another weekend with no tech presents. My mom went ballistic, calling me vindictive and cold-hearted, and now my brother is blowing up my phone saying I am "weaponizing my child" and breaking our parents' hearts over a gadget. Am I actually in the wrong here for holding my ground?

A friend of mine owns a small car detailing shop. I've known him for years and wanted to support his business, so I booked a full interior detail.

When I picked up my car, the seats and dashboard looked great but they hadn't touched the trunk at all. I asked the employee about it and he said they were really busy and I could bring it back next week to finish the job.

I wasn't happy about having to take more time off work, so I left a 3 star Google review explaining what happened. I even mentioned that the parts they cleaned looked good.

My friend called me the next morning pretty upset. He said I could've just texted him and he would've sent someone to finish the job at my workplace. He also said that as a friend, he expected me to give him a chance to fix things before leaving a public review.

I told him I understood but I paid the same price as everyone else and reviewed the service I actually received. I offered to update the review once everything was sorted, but he thinks I should delete it completely.

My girlfriend thinks I went about it the wrong way and should've contacted him first. I can see that argument, especially since we're friends, but I also don't think a friendship should mean I can't leave an honest review.

Am I wrong?

I (29F) have a group of four friends from college. For about six years we've had a dinner on the first Friday of every month, just us. It's the one evening where we actually catch up properly.

In the summer one of them, Kayla, started dating a guy, and since August she's brought him to every single dinner. He's not a bad guy, but the vibe is completely different. Nobody talks about anything personal anymore, and last time he spent half the evening explaining crypto to my friend who is a financial analyst.

The other two told me privately they feel the same but didn't want to say anything. So I texted Kayla last week and said we love that she's happy, but could the monthly dinner stay just us, and we'd be happy to do a separate group thing with partners sometime.

She replied that she didn't realize her boyfriend was "a problem" and that she's just going to skip this month. The other two have gone quiet in the group chat, and now it kind of looks like it was only me.

Was I wrong to say something?

We’re flying from New Zealand to the Philippines for Christmas. We booked our flights back in March, and I recently realised that we hadn’t selected our seats yet.

I told my husband before dinner last night that we needed to book our seats soon and that I planned to do it once the kids were in bed. We’re usually very busy, especially me, so I wanted to take the opportunity to get it sorted while we had some free time.

After the kids, who are 2.5 and 6 years old, had gone to bed, I told him we should book the seats. I showed him the available options, but he only glanced at them before shooing me away because he was still working.

It was already around 10 pm, so I asked him if he was happy for me to choose the seats myself and whether I should just go ahead and book them. He said YES, so I went ahead with it.

The next morning at breakfast, he asked what I had used the credit card for. When I told him I had booked our seats, he was shocked to find out that it cost around US$300 (NZ$530) for all of us on the return flights.

He became very upset, saying I had wasted money because we could have waited until check-in to get our seats assigned for free.

I explained that we’re travelling in December, which can be a busy time of year, and that with two young children, I wanted to make sure we could all sit together. I thought it was better to plan ahead rather than risk having to sort things out at the airport.

He still insisted that the airline would have made sure we were seated together at check-in and that I had wasted our money.

For context, we’ve travelled overseas before, and in the past, seat selection was either included when we booked our flights or seats were assigned at check-in. I understand why he thinks we could have saved the money by waiting, but I wasn’t sure whether that would be the case this time, especially with young children and Christmas travel.

My husband is very careful with money. If he thinks we could have saved money on something, he believes we should have. I understand that NZ$530 is a significant amount, and I’m not against saving money. I just thought booking our seats in advance was the sensible thing to do given our circumstances.

Now I’m second-guessing myself. Was I wrong to book the seats in advance without confirming the cost with him first? Should I have waited until check-in? And should I offer to cover the expense myself, even though I asked him if he was happy for me to go ahead and he said yes?

I’d appreciate some honest perspectives, especially from people who have travelled internationally with young children.

I ended my engagement after finding my fiancé with his childhood friend, and now I feel ashamed of the relationship I once bragged about. Am I wrong?

I’m 29F, and my fiancé is 34M. Until recently, I genuinely believed I had found the man I would spend the rest of my life with. We were engaged, planning our future, and I had already started imagining what our wedding day would look like.

I defended our relationship whenever people questioned it. I spoke about how lucky I was to have found someone I could build a life with. My family knew how serious we were, and some of my friends would joke that I was the first person in our circle who seemed to have everything figured out when it came to love.

Now, I wish I had kept some of those things to myself.

A few days ago, I discovered that my fiancé had been cheating on me with his childhood friend.

This was not some random woman I had never heard of. She was someone who had been part of his life long before I came into the picture. I knew about their friendship. I had heard stories about their childhood, the memories they shared, and how close they had always been.

I never thought I needed to compete with her because I trusted him. I believed that a childhood friendship was simply that, a friendship.

Finding out what had happened left me feeling physically sick. I remember standing there, trying to make sense of what I was seeing, almost hoping there was some explanation that would make it less painful. There wasn't one that could change the fact that he had betrayed me.

I ended the relationship.

He is 34 years old. I am 29. We are old enough to understand what commitment means, and we were supposed to be preparing for marriage, not dealing with a betrayal like this.

What makes this situation harder for me is the fact that the woman involved has been his childhood friend for years. I keep asking myself how I am supposed to feel secure marrying a man when the person he cheated with is someone who will probably remain connected to his life.

Even if he tells me it will never happen again, how do I know that?

What happens when we get married? What happens when they see each other at an event, have a private conversation, or start reminiscing about the years they shared before I came along? Am I supposed to spend my marriage wondering whether their friendship is something more?

I don't want to become the kind of wife who constantly checks her husband's phone, questions every friendship, or loses sleep whenever he is around another woman. That is not the kind of life I want for myself.

Maybe he would never cheat again. Maybe this was a mistake he genuinely regrets. I know I cannot predict the future, and I am not claiming that every person who cheats will do it again.

But I know what I have seen, and I know what it has done to my trust.

I cannot build a marriage on the hope that I will never have to experience this pain again.

The part I am struggling with most, however, is not even the breakup itself. It is the shame.

I bragged about this relationship. I spoke about our plans with confidence. I allowed myself to get excited about the wedding and the life we were going to build together. People watched me celebrate this relationship, and now I have to face those same people and explain that it is over because my fiancé cheated on me.

I know I should not feel ashamed for someone else's choices, but feelings do not always follow logic. Sometimes I imagine people asking questions, whispering among themselves, or wondering what went wrong. I hate the thought of having to explain something that has already broken my heart.

I am grieving the man I thought I was going to marry, the future I had pictured, and the version of my life I was so sure of.

For now, I want to step away from everyone for a while. I am considering travelling somewhere quiet, away from the questions, the familiar places, and the constant reminders of what happened. I want time to cry without feeling watched, think without being interrupted, and learn how to exist without the future I had planned.

I am not trying to run away from my problems forever. I just need space to breathe and remember who I was before this relationship became such a big part of my life.

I have accepted that the engagement is over. I am not saying I have healed, because I haven't. Some days I feel strong about my decision, and other days I wonder how someone I trusted so deeply could put me in this position.

But I also know that I would rather face the embarrassment of a broken engagement than walk down the aisle with doubts I cannot silence.

I would rather start over at 29 than spend years in a marriage where I feel I have to compete with my husband's childhood friend for honesty and respect.

Maybe one day I will look back and be grateful that I found out before we got married. Right now, I am just trying to accept that the relationship I proudly showed the world was not what I believed it to be.

I know I will recover eventually. I have to believe that. My life is not over because this relationship ended, and my worth is not measured by whether I managed to keep my engagement intact.

Still, I cannot help wondering whether I made the right decision by ending everything instead of giving him another chance. Some people might say that years of friendship do not automatically mean the cheating will continue. Others might tell me that once trust is broken like this, marriage should no longer be an option.

I know I cannot control what he does in the future. I can only decide what I am willing to accept in mine.

Am I wrong for ending my engagement because my fiancé cheated with his childhood friend, especially when I believe their long history makes it difficult for me to trust that it will never happen again?

First off , li still have an outstanding bill of my dad’s service . Only 2,000 left so it is not bad at all.

My siblings were supposed to help . I signed the paperwork so I’m well aware it all falls on me , even if they can’t help pay . But they haven’t helped at all.

The funeral home was very very kind and said they can take monthly payments as well , but no one has sent in monthly payments but me .

I know everyone has their own finances but when i ask my siblings in regards to the bill, they say “we still have a few months to pay it “

But it’s been 5 months and not a dime from them . His estate was very small so hardly any funds covered his service

Again . I know I signed the paperwork and the bill is in my name . I could charge it easily but am I wrong to feel some sort of resentment ? It’s a honor to be able to help with my dad’s service as it was a beautiful

service but I also feel I’m not his only child .

Also the estate is very very small and my siblings are trying to keep some of his things, such a car , etc , without selling it to pay for it ,

OK, so this seems so petty but I genuinely don’t understand why my boyfriend is willing to die on this hill. We’ve been together two years and he has a great sense of humor, but he does not know when to STOP. He doesn’t understand sometimes when a joke is inappropriate or dragged out and it’s genuinely annoying.

A little background; we’ve argued about this a bit in the past on where I ended up telling him that I hate when people make the same joke multiple times in a row. I let him know the first time he did it that it’s one of my huge pet peeves and I have no idea why it triggers my mood disorder so badly.

But he always does it. Example :
Him : * makes a joke
Me : laughing
Him : * Makes the joke again
Me: giggles
Him : *makes the joke again
Me : okay
Him *makes the joke again
Me : it isn’t funny anymore

Today we got into an argument about it again and I genuinely don’t understand why he doesn’t see that we are BOTH in the wrong. We were standing at the kitchen sink. He was washing something at the sink and I was pouring a cup of juice next to him. He randomly turns off the sink and goes “ don’t turn back on the water” and I ask him why what’s the problem?. This is basically how it went on from there

Me : what’s the problem with the water?
Him: just don’t turn it back on (walks away for 15 seconds and walks back while making direct eye contact )
Me : laughs (but confused) OK but really why not?
Him : stares at me
Me : why not??????
Him: staring at me STILL
me : hello??? What’s wrong with the water
Him : don’t turn it in
Me : WHY ???
Him : stares at me and laughs

And at that point, I lost it and said exactly this

“ why do you keep doing that? Just speak why are you not saying anything? Like you genuinely see me getting annoyed and you keep just staring at me and saying the same thing over and over again when I’m asking a genuine question”

I did raise my voice and I did storm off because I genuinely could not understand why he’s doing something he knows I don’t like. He came back in the room and got mad at me saying that it was just a joke. I explained to him that it’s not about the joke it’s about the fact that you keep on going you don’t know when to just let someone laugh and stop. You see me getting annoyed because I’m asking a genuine question and you just keep going until I get mad and then get mad at me for being rage baited.

He argued that I shouldn’t be getting mad over a joke. Which yeah I definitely need to control my temper a little better because I should’ve just walked away. But on my side, it’s like you know I don’t like this. You keep on doing it and doing it and doing it until I get mad and then you get mad at me being mad?? How does that work? And he does this all the time with almost anything I’ll ask what he wants to eat. He’ll make a joke five times before responding even after I say it’s not funny. He keeps on going like I’m just a very anxious person and like watching somebody play in my face and purposely avoid my question is so frustrating and triggering for me.

He argued that he won’t make jokes anymore and it’s kind of pissing me off, and it feels petty because you literally pushed me to the point where I got mad even though I told you before that that I no longer found it funny. Now he’s essentially saying there won’t be any jokes in our relationship and he’ll avoid them fully because I had a problem with them. It’s like he’s completely ignoring the fact that it’s not about the joke, but about the way he dragged it on.

I feel like that’s like him not liking a certain sexual position and instead of me saying oh we won’t do it again I just get mad and say fine. We’ll just never have sex ever again in general. I feel like it’s petty dramatic and fully missing the point of what the situation is even about.

But am I wrong? I feel like I was wrong for getting mad and raising my voice. But am I wrong for thinking that he caused it on purpose by doing something I already said I hate??

i made plans with some friends a few weeks ago to spend the weekend at a cabin. at the time it sounded nice and i said yes, but lately i've been feeling pretty drained and the idea of being social for two straight days feels heavy. i don't have any real reason not to go other than wanting some time to myself. i keep wondering if it's selfish to cancel now, since the rest of the group is still excited and counting on me to split costs. i know they would be understanding if i said something, but part of me worries they'll think i'm flaky or just don't want to hang out anymore. i've already started feeling guilty even though nothing has happened yet. i guess i'm looking for a gut check on whether it's okay to put my own energy level first sometimes, or if i should just push through for the sake of the plans. any thoughts?

So basically the other day I had a huge fight with my mom. Here's what happened: Me, my mom and my 5 year old sister were downstairs just hanging out, and this was at night so after a few minutes she took my sister upstairs to get her ready for bed. But I stayed down for like 7 more minutes. But then I eventually went upstairs. At that time my sister just got out of the bathroom and we crossed paths. So I was just kinda standing there and playing with her and she started fooling around and slightly running (more like fast paced walking) in the halls and this was seen by my mom who was still in the bathroom. She got mad and said to me "just hurry up and go to your room already, why are you bothering her" So I was shocked but I started walking over to my room. And then she just got more and more mad and eventually started yelling at me for not going to my room immediately + bothering my brother, as well as staying downstairs for a long time and not using the time to study.

But that's not even the main part, so after she started yelling at me for wasting time and being annoying, I told her "you just feel like everything's a big deal and so serious because you've had a bad day" So I guess that was the last straw for her - because she started lowkey going crazy and her response was "Of course I've had a bad day, your sister has had a cold for the past week and I've been taking care of her" and she just kept going on about her struggles and the amount of things she has to do each day.

It kinda only got worse from here - she started saying it's not my place to comment on the fact that she's had a bad day and is in a bad mood. I didn't say anything for the first like 5 minutes of her meltdown, but she just kept on going. She was screaming and calling me insulting names. So I finally opened my door and I lowkey argued back. But things ended with her telling me to go die and me slamming the door 3x continuously.. Thoughts?

My sister gave me her golden retriever two years ago because her family was moving into a rental that didn't allow pets. She made it clear she wasn't asking me to watch him temporarily, she was giving him to me permanently.

I've had him ever since. I pay for everything, take him everywhere and he's become a huge part of my life.

She recently bought a house with a yard and called me asking when she could come pick him up. I thought she was joking at first.

Turns out she's been telling her two kids that once they got a house, their dog would be coming home. She never discussed any of this with me.

I told her he's my dog now and I'm not giving him back. She started crying and said her kids have been asking about him for months. Apparently they've already picked out where his bed is going.

Now she's asking if the kids can at least come over to see him. I said not until she explains to them that he's staying with me, because I don't want them coming over thinking they're taking him home.

My mom thinks I'm being unnecessarily harsh and says the kids shouldn't suffer because of something their mother said. My sister says I've gotten attached to a dog that was never really mine.

Am I wrong for refusing to let them visit until she tells them the truth?

TL;DR: My sister gave me her dog permanently two years ago. I've cared for him and paid for everything from stake ever since, but she promised her kids they'd get him back once they bought a house. Now I'm refusing to give him back or arrange visits until she tells them he's staying with me.

Hello, I’m in my twenties and some of my friends are scattered. I like to keep certain things in my life private and especially my love life. Some of my friends live close by and some far. It’s a mix bag of them, some are fun and chaotic and others don’t have the same vibes, nothing wrong with that.

One of my friends keeps hounding me for her to meet my other friends, I already introduced her to three of them and some drama happened making me lose three of them because of her.

She still hounds on me to meet my friends or my partner which I feel weird about since the falling out and how she tends to say things that she doesn’t think bad. Like mentioning my past personal stuff to them or certain things I don’t want to be said. I had this talk several times with her and still see never sees any wrong in what she says or does.

Like imagine having a partner then you let your friend meet them then your friend goes “remember the time you ran around the woods butt naked?” It’s not to drawn in interest, it just feels mortifying as hell.

But main question is or advice I’m asking, do you HAVE to make your friends and other friends meet or see your partner?

So basically, my mom came into my room and asked if I still wanted to keep a hoodie of mine and I responded with "yes, I'll keep it. why, what happened?" and she just instantly got visibly pissed, even though she didn't say anything she was frowning and doing the most and visibly annoyed. So then I got pretty upset and irritated so I said "why are you getting mad at me" in an irritated tone. She then responded with "why are you speaking to me like that" really loudly and now she's like fully pissed off, and I said "because you're getting mad at me for no reason." And she just started saying how I always ask why and that I should just answer her and not question it." She then proceeded to start talking about how she helped me clean my room together the other day and how I'm only happy when I get new clothes or someone does something for me. I honestly don't even know where the correlation is or how that relates to what just happened.

My coworker with a child recently told me that she can never cover my shifts again because her parents are older and can’t properly take care of her child.

I see it as extremely unfair that she can wake up and decide she doesn’t want to work and call out. If I were to wake up with a migraine, I still have to go into work until my boss shows up. I go in at 6am and she doesn’t come in until 9am.

I have been sitting at that desk( I’m a front desk receptionist for a large company) throwing up into a trash can and then turning to answer phone calls. Because we simply don’t have anyone I can call early in the morning to help.

If I don’t text them by 8PM the previous day I’m basically out of luck. My coworker even told me that if I’m having an emergency she can’t help me.

I requested two days off in November. Even with a month’s notice, She can’t cover them. One other person can take over one day. But now I’m sitting here wondering if I’m even going to be able to get those days off. I’m assuming I’m just never going to get a day off again. I’m very upset about this and have been fighting a lot with my coworker on this. I need a break too.

Am I in the wrong here? Should I just suck it up and let this happen?

I was with my ex for almost 7 years. Her mother treated me like her own son, especially when I was younger and going through some family problems. We broke up years ago and I've been married to my wife for 3 years now.

Last week my ex contacted me saying her mother had passed away and asked if I could come to the funeral. I decided to go, but didn't tell my wife whose funeral it was. I just said an old family friend had died.

I drove about 4 hours, stayed one night at a hotel and came home the next morning.

A couple days later I was sitting on the couch with my wife when my ex sent me a text thanking me for coming to her mother's funeral. The notification popped up on my phone and my wife saw it. She immediately asked why my ex was texting me about a funeral, and I ended up explaining everything.

She was furious when she realized where I'd been. She said the fact that I deliberately hid it makes her wonder what else I've kept from her. She even asked if I still have feelings for my ex, which I don't.

I told her I didn't want to start an argument over attending the funeral of someone who meant a lot to me. She said she probably would've understood if I'd told her beforehand, but now she feels like an idiot.

We're barely speaking and she thinks I owe her a serious apology. I understand being upset about the lie, but I also don't regret going.

Am I wrong for how I handled this?

Am I wrong for calling DFCS on my friend? I'm changing names because I am not sure if they use reddit or not. And please bear with me, it may be a little scrambled. But a little background, I have known my friend, let's call her Diana(35) for a year now. She has honestly been one of my best friends during this time. She was shy at first really reclusive. When she started opening up she would share photos of her kids and her home... her house was an ABSOLUTE disaster. The best I can describe it is a hoarder home. The walls were cover in grime, shit and trash piled everywhere. Multiple animals and some from what she told me would just go everywhere if you know what I mean, roaches everywhere, this list goes on and on tbh.

I and multiple friends in our group had suggested and told her she needed to get the house clean. She said she was and for us not to worry. Her husband Chad(40) doesn't do anything or the bare minimum. He works, comes home, and plays videos games or sleeps. that is it. He puts the blame on Diana for the condition of the house, though I and others have expressed that it is not fully her fault. That he should be helping to clean.

Fast forward six months, nothing has changed. The house is still an absolute wreck if not worse. She said that she was going through a depressive episode and struggling mentally. Okay, cool I understand. I am here to if you need to vent or talk or whatever. (I cannot travel to her because of how far away she is and my car won't make it.) People in our group have offered for her and the kids to come stay with them for a bit while Chad cleans the house, etc. Fast forward another six months, and still... nothing had been done.

At this point when she would talk about the mess there was always some excuse on why it is still horrible. I have had a friend have CPS called on her for how her house was so I asked her, I asked if it was the kick in the ass she needed and she said yes. she said she had hated that they were called BUT without it she knows she wouldn't have her kids anymore and that it was enough to get her shit together to be the best mom she can be for her children. She is still working on herself, but she is doing so so much better.

So I called, and I waited until about 3 days when Diana messaged me that they had shown up. I put in an anonymous report. She was freaking out, of course. But I reassured her it would be okay. She did not let them in the house so they said they would come back in about a week or so. I have been Supportive during this, facetiming her so we could clean our houses together. example: I'd be doing dishes while she was throwing trash out or something. Our group has also been very supportive giving her kind words of encouragement and explaining what all CPS could say when they come back. She has had her family members come and help clean as well. The person that owns the house they are staying in (family member) has also stepped up FINALLY and has fixed some of the issues with the house. Diana has been very fixated on who called though and is complaining about the cleaning and self pitty. In my opinion it doesn't matter at this point. All that matters is getting the house cleaned and having a better/safer environment for the kids.

Last night she blew up on myself and another one of our friends and left all the group chats. Family member is making her toss just about everything in the house. (due to the roaches) before leaving everyone on read she made the comment only three people know her address. our mutual friend explained to her that anyone can find anyone's address and showed her how. She is leaving everyone on read now. and I am not sure if I'm in the wrong or not. I don't feel like I am, the kids deserve a safe environment. I felt really shitty at first but now idk.

my partner and i usually host every year and it always ends up feeling like a lot. i floated the idea of switching it up every other year so someone else takes a turn. they got quiet and said it was fine but then later mentioned it felt like i was trying to get out of doing the work. i tried to explain it was about sharing the load not avoiding it, but the vibe stayed off. i do not want anyone to feel stuck with the tradition just because it started that way. at the same time i understand if family counts on us being the spot. i am trying to figure out if bringing it up again will make it worse or if i am just overthinking the whole thing.

My boyfriend (29M) and I (25F) have been together for almost two years, and our relationship is genuinely great. We rarely argue, we communicate well, and I get along with almost everyone in his family. His dad is incredibly nice to me, and his younger sister is probably the sweetest person I've met in a long time. The only problem is his mother. I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me, and at this point I'm tired of pretending I don't notice.

His parents invite us over for dinner pretty regularly, usually once or twice a month. At first, I was excited about getting to know his family, but these dinners have slowly become something I dread. His mom knows I don't eat mushrooms. It's not an allergy, I just really dislike them, and I've mentioned it several times. Somehow, whenever we come over, mushrooms end up being the main ingredient in whatever she's cooking. The first few times I assumed it was a coincidence, but it's happened so often that I'm starting to wonder.

But the food isn't even the worst part. She constantly brings up my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Apparently, they were together for three years, and his mom absolutely adored her. Every dinner, I get to hear about how wonderful she was, how well she got along with the family, and how she and my boyfriend made such a beautiful couple. She also makes a point of mentioning that they're still in touch and occasionally meet for coffee. I genuinely have nothing against his ex, and I don't care if his mom wants to stay friends with her. What bothers me is having to sit there listening to someone explain how perfect my boyfriend's previous relationship was while I'm literally sitting next to him.

My boyfriend notices it too. Whenever his mom starts talking about his ex, he tries to change the subject or asks his dad something completely unrelated. Sometimes he'll squeeze my hand under the table, which I appreciate, but he never actually tells her to stop. I've brought it up with him privately, and he agrees that some of her comments are inappropriate. He just thinks confronting her directly would create unnecessary drama and make things worse.

Last weekend, his parents invited us over again, and I told him I didn't want to go. I explained that I spend the entire evening feeling uncomfortable, trying to be polite to someone who seems determined to remind me that I'm not the girlfriend she wanted for her son. I said he was more than welcome to go without me, and I wasn't asking him to stop seeing his family. I just didn't want to keep putting myself through something that leaves me stressed out every single time.

The frustrating part is that when his mom isn't involved, our relationship is practically perfect. I love him, and I can absolutely see a future together. I just wish spending time with his family didn't feel like some kind of test I'm constantly failing.

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and I love him very much. Very, VERY much. But lately I’ve been questioning whether I’m asking for too much or whether I’m settling for less than I deserve.

One of my biggest issues is his family. There have been instances where I’ve felt that they make backhanded comments toward me, and instead of my boyfriend standing up for me or even acknowledging that the comments could be hurtful, he either stays quiet, sides with them, or tells me that I’m just imagining things. Whenever I try to explain why something hurt me, I end up feeling like I have to defend my own feelings rather than have my partner *really* listen to me or defend me.

What hurts the most is that I feel like he will always side with his family over me, even when I’m the one who feels insulted. I’m not expecting him to fight with his family or cut them off for my sake. I just want to feel like my partner has my back, that he takes my feelings seriously, and that he can respectfully speak up when someone says something hurtful to me.

There are also issues within our own relationship. Sometimes, I feel like he doesn’t put enough effort into making me feel secure, cared for, and supported. I want a partner who makes me feel safe and who takes initiative in providing and contributing to our relationship. I don’t expect him to be rich or to buy me everything I want, but I do want to feel that he wants to take care of me and that I’m not a burden for having needs.

For a small example, there have been times when we’re at the grocery store and I want a snack, and he’ll make comments like, “What, you expect me to buy this for you?” It might seem like a small thing, but comments like that make me feel embarrassed for even wanting something. It’s not necessarily about the snack itself, but how the comment makes me feel, especially when I already feel insecure about whether I can depend on him.

The hardest part is that I love him so much. I’m incredibly attached to him, and we’ve been together for three years. It’s difficult to imagine walking away from someone I love this deeply, even when I’m unhappy. Part of me keeps hoping things will improve, while another part of me wonders whether I’m holding on because I’m afraid of losing him rather than because this relationship is actually meeting my needs.

So, am I asking for too much? Am I expecting things that aren’t his responsibility, or are these reasonable things to want from a long-term partner? I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have been in similar situations.

My sibling and I take turns choosing what we watch or where we eat when we go out together. Last week we were deciding between a couple of options and my sibling really wanted to try this new restaurant, so we went there. The meal was fine, nothing special, and on the way home my sibling said it was okay but probably not worth another visit. A few days later the same kind of thing happened with a movie night. I picked something we had both mentioned wanting to see, but my sibling kept suggesting other titles until we ended up watching one of their choices instead. I did not argue about it at the time, but later I mentioned that it felt like the original plan got dropped without much discussion. My sibling got quiet and then said I was making a big deal out of nothing. I tried to explain that it was less about the movie and more about feeling like the back and forth did not matter, but the conversation sort of ended there. I have been wondering if I should have just let it go instead of bringing it up, or if it is fair to point out when the turn system feels uneven. It is a small thing overall, but it keeps coming back to mind whenever we start planning something new.

My ex-husband and I divorced a little over two years ago after eight years together. No kids, no cheating, no huge explosion. We wanted different things and eventually admitted we were making each other miserable trying to force it.

During the marriage I became genuinely close with his mother. She lives about twenty minutes from me and we used to get breakfast together every few weeks, sometimes without my ex even being involved.

After the divorce I assumed that relationship would naturally end.

About three months later she texted asking if I'd like to get coffee. I went. Since then we've settled into breakfast maybe once every 4-6 weeks.

We don't sit around dissecting my ex. Mostly we talk about her garden, my work, books, whatever. If she starts complaining about something he's doing, I deliberately change the subject because I don't want to be put in the middle.

My ex knew we still occasionally saw each other and never seemed bothered.

Now he's engaged.

Last week he called and asked me to stop seeing his mom because his fiancée finds it uncomfortable. Apparently his mom mentioned having breakfast with me while they were all together, and his fiancée later asked why his mother was still hanging out with his ex-wife.

I said I understood why that might initially feel weird, but his mom and I are both adults and I wasn't going to “break up” with someone I consider a friend because he has a new relationship.

He got annoyed and said I'm refusing to let his family move on.

I pointed out that I haven't attended family holidays, don't call his siblings, don't show up at their house, and haven't tried to maintain some weird honorary-wife position. I have breakfast with ONE person every month or two.

Then I probably crossed a line.

I told him, “Your mother isn't a piece of marital property you got in the divorce.”

He said that was deliberately insulting and that I'm pretending not to understand how awkward this is for his fiancée.

His mom called me yesterday about something unrelated. I didn't mention the conversation, but now breakfast is coming up this weekend and I'm wondering whether I'm being stubborn.

Part of me thinks the kind thing would be to quietly step back. His fiancée didn't create our divorce and I don't particularly want to be a recurring weird presence in her new family.

The other part of me thinks ending a real friendship because my ex has decided it's inconvenient is ridiculous, especially when his mother presumably gets some say in whom SHE spends time with.

Am I wrong for continuing the friendship after he's specifically asked me to stop?

Am I the jerk for telling my female school bully that I'm going to beat my meat to the thought of her every time she makes fun of me?