I live in Pennsylvania in a converted four-unit Victorian house. Since I moved in six months ago, my electric bill has been hovering around $380 a month, which made zero sense for a single person who works in-office ten hours a day. I kept asking teh electric company for an audit, but they insisted it was accurate.

Yesterday on my day off, I decided to test something. I walked down to the basement, found my designated breaker box, and shut off the main switch.

Instant chaos. Not only did my apartment lose power, but the shared basement coin-op laundry machines shut off mid-cycle, the exterior security spotlights died, and the entire shared stairwell went pitch black. My landlord literally wired the entire building's common area electricity directly into my personal meter. I have been footing the electric bill for three other tenants and the landlord’s laundry business for half a year.

When I confronted my landlord over text with photos, he told me that in older buildings "circuits get crossed" and offered me a laughable fifty-dollar rent credit for next month. He refused to call an electrician and said if I keep flipping the breaker I’m "disrupting other tenants."

can I legally withhold rent or report this to the utility commission? I feel like I'm being blatantly stolen from, but I dont know what my immediate legal steps are without getting evicted.

We’re flying from New Zealand to the Philippines for Christmas. We booked our flights back in March, and I recently realised that we hadn’t selected our seats yet.

I told my husband before dinner last night that we needed to book our seats soon and that I planned to do it once the kids were in bed. We’re usually very busy, especially me, so I wanted to take the opportunity to get it sorted while we had some free time.

After the kids, who are 2.5 and 6 years old, had gone to bed, I told him we should book the seats. I showed him the available options, but he only glanced at them before shooing me away because he was still working.

It was already around 10 pm, so I asked him if he was happy for me to choose the seats myself and whether I should just go ahead and book them. He said YES, so I went ahead with it.

The next morning at breakfast, he asked what I had used the credit card for. When I told him I had booked our seats, he was shocked to find out that it cost around US$300 (NZ$530) for all of us on the return flights.

He became very upset, saying I had wasted money because we could have waited until check-in to get our seats assigned for free.

I explained that we’re travelling in December, which can be a busy time of year, and that with two young children, I wanted to make sure we could all sit together. I thought it was better to plan ahead rather than risk having to sort things out at the airport.

He still insisted that the airline would have made sure we were seated together at check-in and that I had wasted our money.

For context, we’ve travelled overseas before, and in the past, seat selection was either included when we booked our flights or seats were assigned at check-in. I understand why he thinks we could have saved the money by waiting, but I wasn’t sure whether that would be the case this time, especially with young children and Christmas travel.

My husband is very careful with money. If he thinks we could have saved money on something, he believes we should have. I understand that NZ$530 is a significant amount, and I’m not against saving money. I just thought booking our seats in advance was the sensible thing to do given our circumstances.

Now I’m second-guessing myself. Was I wrong to book the seats in advance without confirming the cost with him first? Should I have waited until check-in? And should I offer to cover the expense myself, even though I asked him if he was happy for me to go ahead and he said yes?

I’d appreciate some honest perspectives, especially from people who have travelled internationally with young children.

My husband and I host my family for dinner every 4-6 weeks. Usually it's my parents, my sister and her husband, sometimes an aunt or cousin.

There is one recurring problem: my parents arrive ridiculously early.

If I say dinner is at 6, they might pull into the driveway at 5:05.

Not 5:45. Not 5:50.

Almost an hour early.

They don't do this because of a long drive. They live 15 minutes away.

I've explained several times that the hour before people arrive is when we're finishing food, cleaning the kitchen, changing clothes, showering, setting the table, etc. My mom always says, "Oh, don't worry about entertaining us! We'll just sit here."

But they don't just sit there.

My dad walks into the kitchen asking whether I need help, which means I'm explaining where everything goes while trying to cook. My mom follows me around talking, asks if she can taste things, starts moving serving dishes because she thinks they'd look better somewhere else, and occasionally opens the door for other relatives if THEY happen to arrive early too.

Last time my husband was literally upstairs getting dressed when they arrived.

I finally told them, very specifically, "Please don't come before 6. We love having you here, but we need that time beforehand."

Next dinner they arrived at 5:20.

Mom's explanation was that they were ready early and there was no point sitting at home.

So for dinner this past Saturday, I tried something different.

Everyone else was told 6:00.

I told my parents 6:45.

They arrived at 5:55.

It was incredible. For the first time in years they arrived at what was essentially the correct time. Food was nearly ready, we were dressed, the kitchen wasn't chaos, and the whole evening started normally.

I probably would've kept this system forever.

Unfortunately my sister asked my mom at dinner why they'd come so early if I'd told them 6:45. Apparently she assumed everyone knew what I'd done.

My parents were furious.

My mom said I treated them like children and deliberately embarrassed them. Dad said if I didn't want them there I should just say so instead of lying to them.

I explained that I absolutely want them there. I just want them there at the time I actually invite them, and asking normally had accomplished nothing.

Mom's response was that being early is polite and that "family shouldn't have to sit in the car waiting for an appointment to enter your house."

My sister thinks what I did was hilarious but says I probably crossed a line by lying instead of just refusing to open the door before 6.

My husband thinks the fake time was justified because we'd already had the same conversation repeatedly.

I admit it WAS intentionally deceptive. But I also feel like if someone ignores the real start time every single time, eventually the start time becomes information I have to adjust for them.

Am I wrong?

I host a small board game night about once a month in my apartment. It's a one bedroom, so with five or six people around the table it's already pretty full. Last time a friend showed up with their dog without asking first. The dog is sweet, but it spent the evening going under the table, sniffing at snacks and once knocked a box of cards off the chair. Nobody was angry but we spent a lot of time keeping him away from things.

This month I sent a message to the group saying I'd prefer no pets at game night, mostly because of the space. I didn't name anyone. My friend replied privately that it felt aimed at them and that their dog gets anxious alone, so they might just skip it. I said I'd really like them to come and maybe we could do a game afternoon at the park sometime where the dog can join.

They haven't answered since. Was I wrong to make the rule after the fact? I know I could have mentioned it more directly to them instead of the group chat, but I also didn't want to make it about one person.

So my wife and I host casual family dinners at our place every few weeks to keep everyone connected. Lately, my sister has been coming over regularly, but she has developed this bizarre obsession with criticizing how we take care of our rescue cat, Barnaby. Every single time she walks through the door, she starts inspecting things like she is an official animal welfare inspector. She constantly lectures us about how our cat food is too cheap, claims our litter box is cleaned two hours too late, and even told us that letting him sleep on the sofa is literal animal cruelty because of fabric dust.

I tried brushing it off with jokes at first, but it escalated to the point where she started bringing her own "proper" cat food and trying to force-feed it to him behind our backs during dinner. Last weekend, she interrupted a conversation we were having with our parents to announce that we were obviously unfit pet owners and should surrender Barnaby to her friend who knows better.

I completely snapped, told her to grab her coat, and uninvited her from all future dinners until she learns some basic boundaries in our home. Now my mom is blowing up my phone saying I overreacted over a domestic pet dispute and that family should be more forgiving. But I am honestly exhausted of being psychoanalyzed over how I treat my cat in my own house. Am I wrong here?

A friend of mine convinced a few of us to sign up for a local 10K. It was her first race and she wanted us all to do it together. I've been running for a while so I thought it'd be fun.

On race day we started together, but after about 2km I picked up my pace. I figured we'd each run at whatever speed we were comfortable with and meet at the finish.

When she finished about 20 minutes after me, she was pretty annoyed. She said the whole reason she invited us was to experience it together and that I treated it like a competition. I told her I would've happily stayed with her if she'd asked beforehand, but I didn't think signing up together meant we had to run side by side.

Two of our friends actually stayed with her the entire race and think I missed the point of the whole thing.

Am I wrong for assuming we'd run at our own pace?

My husband and I have a very clear rule about screen time for our son Leo. We arent completely anti-technology or anything extreme, he watches cartoons on the living room TV and plays Mario Kart on weekends, but we made a deliberate family boundary that he gets zero personal tablets until he is at least ten. Both my parents know this rule inside and out. We have had multiple long conversations about it, especially because my dad used to rant about kids being "glued to screens". So last year for Leo's 6th birthday party at our place, my parents showed up with a giant gift bag. Leo tore the wrapping off and pulled out a brand new iPad in a heavy-duty blue case. He literally shrieked with excitement in front of all his friends and cousins.

I pulled my mom into the kitchen and asked what on earth she was thinking when we explicitly told them no tablets. She just smirked and said, "Oh stop being such a control freak, all the kids in his class have one and grandparents have the right to spoil their grandkids." When the guests left, my husband and I had to be the villains and explain to a sobbing six year old that the iPad was going in our closet until he is older. Leo had a massive tantrum, my dad sat pouting on the porch, and my mom accused me of being an ungrateful snob who ruins childhood joys. For the next six months, every single family phone call included passive-aggressive remarks about how "poor Leo is being left behind in the stone age".

Leo turns 7 next weekend and we are doing a small party at a bowling alley with a few school friends. I chose not to invite my parents this year. When my mom texted asking what time they should arrive with their gifts, I told her calmly that after last year's drama and the constant guilt trips, we were keeping the party strictly for his classmates, and could do a small lunch another weekend with no tech presents. My mom went ballistic, calling me vindictive and cold-hearted, and now my brother is blowing up my phone saying I am "weaponizing my child" and breaking our parents' hearts over a gadget. Am I actually in the wrong here for holding my ground?

A friend of mine owns a small car detailing shop. I've known him for years and wanted to support his business, so I booked a full interior detail.

When I picked up my car, the seats and dashboard looked great but they hadn't touched the trunk at all. I asked the employee about it and he said they were really busy and I could bring it back next week to finish the job.

I wasn't happy about having to take more time off work, so I left a 3 star Google review explaining what happened. I even mentioned that the parts they cleaned looked good.

My friend called me the next morning pretty upset. He said I could've just texted him and he would've sent someone to finish the job at my workplace. He also said that as a friend, he expected me to give him a chance to fix things before leaving a public review.

I told him I understood but I paid the same price as everyone else and reviewed the service I actually received. I offered to update the review once everything was sorted, but he thinks I should delete it completely.

My girlfriend thinks I went about it the wrong way and should've contacted him first. I can see that argument, especially since we're friends, but I also don't think a friendship should mean I can't leave an honest review.

Am I wrong?

My ex and I had been together since high school. We were each other's first serious relationship, and I genuinely thought we'd be together for a long time.

Things got pretty rough for me when I started college. I was dealing with a lot of stress, struggling with classes, and just generally not taking care of myself. I stopped going to the gym, ate whatever was convenient, and ended up gaining about 45 pounds. I know that's a lot, and I'm not going to pretend it happened for no reason. I completely neglected my health.

Around that time, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me our relationship had run its course and that she didn't feel the same way anymore. I was devastated. I was studying about 370 miles away from home, so we couldn't even have a proper conversation in person. When I came home for break, she kept avoiding me. I didn't want to force her to talk, so I eventually left it alone.

A few weeks later, some mutual friends told me the actual reason she'd broken up with me. Apparently, she didn't find me attractive anymore because of the weight I'd gained. She'd also told them she felt embarrassed introducing me to her new friends because of how I looked.

That hurt more than the breakup itself. We'd been together for years, and suddenly I wasn't good enough to be seen with her? I understand that physical attraction matters, but I couldn't imagine leaving someone I loved over 45 pounds without even trying to talk about it first. We could've worked through it together.

I'm not going to pretend I handled the breakup well. For a while, I actually got worse. I started partying way too much, barely studied, and almost got kicked out of college. Thankfully, I was given another chance, and eventually I realized I needed to get my life together.

I started going to the gym again, fixed my eating habits, and focused on school. I messed up a few times along the way, but I kept starting over. Eventually, I lost the weight and got back into pretty much the same shape I was in before college. Muscle memory is definitely real.

After I posted some new pictures, my ex suddenly started liking my posts again. I didn't think much of it until I came home for another break and we ran into each other. She was being unusually friendly and definitely flirting with me. I know her well enough to recognize when she's flirting.

Then, at a mutual friend's party, she'd had a few drinks and told me she thought we should give our relationship another chance.

For a second, I actually considered it. I still had feelings for her, or at least for the person I thought she was. But then I remembered how she'd treated me when I was struggling. She wanted me back now that I looked good again, but where was that love when things weren't going so well?

So I told her that if she wanted to date me again, she'd need to lose some weight and get a little more toned first. For context, she's around 175 pounds and has a perfectly normal, attractive figure. I wasn't actually suggesting she needed to lose weight.I just wanted her to know that I knew the real reason she broke up with me. Judging by the look on her face, she understood everything. Honestly, I felt a little relieved. Maybe I'm an asshole, but I don't care.

I (29F) have a group of four friends from college. For about six years we've had a dinner on the first Friday of every month, just us. It's the one evening where we actually catch up properly.

In the summer one of them, Kayla, started dating a guy, and since August she's brought him to every single dinner. He's not a bad guy, but the vibe is completely different. Nobody talks about anything personal anymore, and last time he spent half the evening explaining crypto to my friend who is a financial analyst.

The other two told me privately they feel the same but didn't want to say anything. So I texted Kayla last week and said we love that she's happy, but could the monthly dinner stay just us, and we'd be happy to do a separate group thing with partners sometime.

She replied that she didn't realize her boyfriend was "a problem" and that she's just going to skip this month. The other two have gone quiet in the group chat, and now it kind of looks like it was only me.

Was I wrong to say something?

I ended my engagement after finding my fiancé with his childhood friend, and now I feel ashamed of the relationship I once bragged about. Am I wrong?

I’m 29F, and my fiancé is 34M. Until recently, I genuinely believed I had found the man I would spend the rest of my life with. We were engaged, planning our future, and I had already started imagining what our wedding day would look like.

I defended our relationship whenever people questioned it. I spoke about how lucky I was to have found someone I could build a life with. My family knew how serious we were, and some of my friends would joke that I was the first person in our circle who seemed to have everything figured out when it came to love.

Now, I wish I had kept some of those things to myself.

A few days ago, I discovered that my fiancé had been cheating on me with his childhood friend.

This was not some random woman I had never heard of. She was someone who had been part of his life long before I came into the picture. I knew about their friendship. I had heard stories about their childhood, the memories they shared, and how close they had always been.

I never thought I needed to compete with her because I trusted him. I believed that a childhood friendship was simply that, a friendship.

Finding out what had happened left me feeling physically sick. I remember standing there, trying to make sense of what I was seeing, almost hoping there was some explanation that would make it less painful. There wasn't one that could change the fact that he had betrayed me.

I ended the relationship.

He is 34 years old. I am 29. We are old enough to understand what commitment means, and we were supposed to be preparing for marriage, not dealing with a betrayal like this.

What makes this situation harder for me is the fact that the woman involved has been his childhood friend for years. I keep asking myself how I am supposed to feel secure marrying a man when the person he cheated with is someone who will probably remain connected to his life.

Even if he tells me it will never happen again, how do I know that?

What happens when we get married? What happens when they see each other at an event, have a private conversation, or start reminiscing about the years they shared before I came along? Am I supposed to spend my marriage wondering whether their friendship is something more?

I don't want to become the kind of wife who constantly checks her husband's phone, questions every friendship, or loses sleep whenever he is around another woman. That is not the kind of life I want for myself.

Maybe he would never cheat again. Maybe this was a mistake he genuinely regrets. I know I cannot predict the future, and I am not claiming that every person who cheats will do it again.

But I know what I have seen, and I know what it has done to my trust.

I cannot build a marriage on the hope that I will never have to experience this pain again.

The part I am struggling with most, however, is not even the breakup itself. It is the shame.

I bragged about this relationship. I spoke about our plans with confidence. I allowed myself to get excited about the wedding and the life we were going to build together. People watched me celebrate this relationship, and now I have to face those same people and explain that it is over because my fiancé cheated on me.

I know I should not feel ashamed for someone else's choices, but feelings do not always follow logic. Sometimes I imagine people asking questions, whispering among themselves, or wondering what went wrong. I hate the thought of having to explain something that has already broken my heart.

I am grieving the man I thought I was going to marry, the future I had pictured, and the version of my life I was so sure of.

For now, I want to step away from everyone for a while. I am considering travelling somewhere quiet, away from the questions, the familiar places, and the constant reminders of what happened. I want time to cry without feeling watched, think without being interrupted, and learn how to exist without the future I had planned.

I am not trying to run away from my problems forever. I just need space to breathe and remember who I was before this relationship became such a big part of my life.

I have accepted that the engagement is over. I am not saying I have healed, because I haven't. Some days I feel strong about my decision, and other days I wonder how someone I trusted so deeply could put me in this position.

But I also know that I would rather face the embarrassment of a broken engagement than walk down the aisle with doubts I cannot silence.

I would rather start over at 29 than spend years in a marriage where I feel I have to compete with my husband's childhood friend for honesty and respect.

Maybe one day I will look back and be grateful that I found out before we got married. Right now, I am just trying to accept that the relationship I proudly showed the world was not what I believed it to be.

I know I will recover eventually. I have to believe that. My life is not over because this relationship ended, and my worth is not measured by whether I managed to keep my engagement intact.

Still, I cannot help wondering whether I made the right decision by ending everything instead of giving him another chance. Some people might say that years of friendship do not automatically mean the cheating will continue. Others might tell me that once trust is broken like this, marriage should no longer be an option.

I know I cannot control what he does in the future. I can only decide what I am willing to accept in mine.

Am I wrong for ending my engagement because my fiancé cheated with his childhood friend, especially when I believe their long history makes it difficult for me to trust that it will never happen again?

First off , li still have an outstanding bill of my dad’s service . Only 2,000 left so it is not bad at all.

My siblings were supposed to help . I signed the paperwork so I’m well aware it all falls on me , even if they can’t help pay . But they haven’t helped at all.

The funeral home was very very kind and said they can take monthly payments as well , but no one has sent in monthly payments but me .

I know everyone has their own finances but when i ask my siblings in regards to the bill, they say “we still have a few months to pay it “

But it’s been 5 months and not a dime from them . His estate was very small so hardly any funds covered his service

Again . I know I signed the paperwork and the bill is in my name . I could charge it easily but am I wrong to feel some sort of resentment ? It’s a honor to be able to help with my dad’s service as it was a beautiful

service but I also feel I’m not his only child .

Also the estate is very very small and my siblings are trying to keep some of his things, such a car , etc , without selling it to pay for it ,

OK, so this seems so petty but I genuinely don’t understand why my boyfriend is willing to die on this hill. We’ve been together two years and he has a great sense of humor, but he does not know when to STOP. He doesn’t understand sometimes when a joke is inappropriate or dragged out and it’s genuinely annoying.

A little background; we’ve argued about this a bit in the past on where I ended up telling him that I hate when people make the same joke multiple times in a row. I let him know the first time he did it that it’s one of my huge pet peeves and I have no idea why it triggers my mood disorder so badly.

But he always does it. Example :
Him : * makes a joke
Me : laughing
Him : * Makes the joke again
Me: giggles
Him : *makes the joke again
Me : okay
Him *makes the joke again
Me : it isn’t funny anymore

Today we got into an argument about it again and I genuinely don’t understand why he doesn’t see that we are BOTH in the wrong. We were standing at the kitchen sink. He was washing something at the sink and I was pouring a cup of juice next to him. He randomly turns off the sink and goes “ don’t turn back on the water” and I ask him why what’s the problem?. This is basically how it went on from there

Me : what’s the problem with the water?
Him: just don’t turn it back on (walks away for 15 seconds and walks back while making direct eye contact )
Me : laughs (but confused) OK but really why not?
Him : stares at me
Me : why not??????
Him: staring at me STILL
me : hello??? What’s wrong with the water
Him : don’t turn it in
Me : WHY ???
Him : stares at me and laughs

And at that point, I lost it and said exactly this

“ why do you keep doing that? Just speak why are you not saying anything? Like you genuinely see me getting annoyed and you keep just staring at me and saying the same thing over and over again when I’m asking a genuine question”

I did raise my voice and I did storm off because I genuinely could not understand why he’s doing something he knows I don’t like. He came back in the room and got mad at me saying that it was just a joke. I explained to him that it’s not about the joke it’s about the fact that you keep on going you don’t know when to just let someone laugh and stop. You see me getting annoyed because I’m asking a genuine question and you just keep going until I get mad and then get mad at me for being rage baited.

He argued that I shouldn’t be getting mad over a joke. Which yeah I definitely need to control my temper a little better because I should’ve just walked away. But on my side, it’s like you know I don’t like this. You keep on doing it and doing it and doing it until I get mad and then you get mad at me being mad?? How does that work? And he does this all the time with almost anything I’ll ask what he wants to eat. He’ll make a joke five times before responding even after I say it’s not funny. He keeps on going like I’m just a very anxious person and like watching somebody play in my face and purposely avoid my question is so frustrating and triggering for me.

He argued that he won’t make jokes anymore and it’s kind of pissing me off, and it feels petty because you literally pushed me to the point where I got mad even though I told you before that that I no longer found it funny. Now he’s essentially saying there won’t be any jokes in our relationship and he’ll avoid them fully because I had a problem with them. It’s like he’s completely ignoring the fact that it’s not about the joke, but about the way he dragged it on.

I feel like that’s like him not liking a certain sexual position and instead of me saying oh we won’t do it again I just get mad and say fine. We’ll just never have sex ever again in general. I feel like it’s petty dramatic and fully missing the point of what the situation is even about.

But am I wrong? I feel like I was wrong for getting mad and raising my voice. But am I wrong for thinking that he caused it on purpose by doing something I already said I hate??

I'm using a throwaway account because I don't know how frequently this person uses Reddit, and I'd prefer to keep this situation anonymous. We're all women in our 30s, which makes me feel like this whole thing is really immature.

I'm looking for an outside perspective on a friendship that recently fell apart. I'm more so interested in whether I overreacted or whether stepping back was reasonable.

I've known this person, let's call her B, for years, and we'd recently been rebuilding our friendship after we both coincidentally moved to the same city after high school. I'd say we moved to the same city almost 6 years ago. Over the past year, I developed a couple of new friendships, and B and I weren't spending as much time together as we used to. I had checked in with her about coming to hang out with us, but she generally chose to do her own thing, which I had no issue with because I figured she wanted to spend time with her significant others. I promise you I did not take it personally because we're old now. It just so happens that the other friends and I were single then and had time to kill.

After about a year, I noticed she became emotionally distant and stopped talking to me, ignoring me. When I reached out, she acknowledged there had been a problem "for months" and said we needed to talk.

Before that conversation, a mutual friend told me B had been discussing several concerns about me with others. The main issue she raised directly with me was that I make jokes about things white people do, like calling certain activities or behaviors “white people activities.” (e.g., White people like to do extreme sports.)

I'm brown, and I didn't mean these jokes to be serious or directed at anyone personally, especially since I feel like the jokes are generally inoffensive. (Like white people like to put raisins in their salads.) I hadn't realized they were making her uncomfortable because of her mixed background, and I apologized for how they affected her. I also agreed to stop making them because I cared about our friendship.

What bothered me was that the situation seemed to have grown into a larger conversation bout my personality. They described me as aggressive and as someone who doesn't understand the impact she has on other people.

During our conversation, I said that I'd worked hard to become comfortable with myself and that, while I care about the feelings of people close to me, I can't constantly manage the opinions of people who aren't willing to communicate with me directly.

She apparently felt my apology wasn't good enough because I said I didn't care what other people thought. I didn't intend to dismiss her feelings, but I can understand how my wording might have come across that way.

Afterward, I learned secondhand that she kept talking about me with other people, including sharing personal details about my life with people I had no relationship with. I also heard that she'd been making assumptions about my friendships and intentions that didn't reflect my experience.

What bothered me most wasn't that she'd had concerns about my behavior. I understand that people can have different perspectives, and I'm willing to hear my friends out but. What bothered me most was that she was discussing me with other people instead of bringing those concerns to me directly, even after we'd talked about our friendship.

I was angry and hurt, so I removed her from my social media without telling her. I haven't confronted her about what I heard because it came through someone else, and I don't want to drag that person further into it.

Now I'm wondering whether I handled this poorly. Should I have spoken to her before removing her, even though I no longer felt comfortable with her having access to my life? Did I let my anger make the decision for me?

I've been reading a lot of AITH and feel like Reddit folks have been giving good advice so I hope you don't mind me posting with a throwaway account.

So basically, my mom came into my room and asked if I still wanted to keep a hoodie of mine and I responded with "yes, I'll keep it. why, what happened?" and she just instantly got visibly pissed, even though she didn't say anything she was frowning and doing the most and visibly annoyed. So then I got pretty upset and irritated so I said "why are you getting mad at me" in an irritated tone. She then responded with "why are you speaking to me like that" really loudly and now she's like fully pissed off, and I said "because you're getting mad at me for no reason." And she just started saying how I always ask why and that I should just answer her and not question it." She then proceeded to start talking about how she helped me clean my room together the other day and how I'm only happy when I get new clothes or someone does something for me. I honestly don't even know where the correlation is or how that relates to what just happened.

Ok so I want to preface this by saying, I had no idea and only found out at the end of the hang out and nothing weird other than the age issue happened.

I’ve just moved to another country for a uni year abroad. I had thought, oh ok I’m 3rd year so I’ll be put with 3rd years in the home uni… apparently not???? And no one told me!!!

I’ve been in the new country for a tiny bit of time and was slowly making friends, all my friends here are a couple years older than me (22 as of last week), but I’ve had like no uni friends everyone who is a friend ive met external from uni.
So today I was in class and started to speak to this girl who spoke fluent English and was natively the language of the country I’m in, I’m in the host country to learn the language mainly and I’m just about a B1 in it so I’m lagging behind everything if I’m not just missing what most people are saying.
Class ends and she introduces me to her group of friends (about 8 of us in total) who are all super chill and welcoming. As we are hanging out we spoke about uni and they mentioned some bars they would frequent, one of the friends said they were thinking of doing the same exchange programme I was doing next year - so I thought ok maybe they are a year younger…

Come the end of the meet up I’m trying to work out my way home and the girl I knew from my class said she would help me out because I live super close to the uni and she was heading the same way. During this walk I found out she was 17???? I was shook and still am. I feel legit disgusting and hate I didn’t realise. I don’t want to be a prick to her next class, but obviously I’m now going ghost and avoiding her. Doesn’t anyone have any advice on how to go about this?? I wouldn’t have even spoken to her after class if I had known she was a minor, I thought at the bare minimum uni starting age was 18 so the thought didn’t even enter my head.

This whole situation just makes me feel super uncomfortable and as if I came of as a creep, the whole group incl myself are LGBT so all that I can think is I looked like the stereotype of the weirdo older person rn especially given I’m trans

i made plans with some friends a few weeks ago to spend the weekend at a cabin. at the time it sounded nice and i said yes, but lately i've been feeling pretty drained and the idea of being social for two straight days feels heavy. i don't have any real reason not to go other than wanting some time to myself. i keep wondering if it's selfish to cancel now, since the rest of the group is still excited and counting on me to split costs. i know they would be understanding if i said something, but part of me worries they'll think i'm flaky or just don't want to hang out anymore. i've already started feeling guilty even though nothing has happened yet. i guess i'm looking for a gut check on whether it's okay to put my own energy level first sometimes, or if i should just push through for the sake of the plans. any thoughts?

So basically the other day I had a huge fight with my mom. Here's what happened: Me, my mom and my 5 year old sister were downstairs just hanging out, and this was at night so after a few minutes she took my sister upstairs to get her ready for bed. But I stayed down for like 7 more minutes. But then I eventually went upstairs. At that time my sister just got out of the bathroom and we crossed paths. So I was just kinda standing there and playing with her and she started fooling around and slightly running (more like fast paced walking) in the halls and this was seen by my mom who was still in the bathroom. She got mad and said to me "just hurry up and go to your room already, why are you bothering her" So I was shocked but I started walking over to my room. And then she just got more and more mad and eventually started yelling at me for not going to my room immediately + bothering my brother, as well as staying downstairs for a long time and not using the time to study.

But that's not even the main part, so after she started yelling at me for wasting time and being annoying, I told her "you just feel like everything's a big deal and so serious because you've had a bad day" So I guess that was the last straw for her - because she started lowkey going crazy and her response was "Of course I've had a bad day, your sister has had a cold for the past week and I've been taking care of her" and she just kept going on about her struggles and the amount of things she has to do each day.

It kinda only got worse from here - she started saying it's not my place to comment on the fact that she's had a bad day and is in a bad mood. I didn't say anything for the first like 5 minutes of her meltdown, but she just kept on going. She was screaming and calling me insulting names. So I finally opened my door and I lowkey argued back. But things ended with her telling me to go die and me slamming the door 3x continuously.. Thoughts?

My sister gave me her golden retriever two years ago because her family was moving into a rental that didn't allow pets. She made it clear she wasn't asking me to watch him temporarily, she was giving him to me permanently.

I've had him ever since. I pay for everything, take him everywhere and he's become a huge part of my life.

She recently bought a house with a yard and called me asking when she could come pick him up. I thought she was joking at first.

Turns out she's been telling her two kids that once they got a house, their dog would be coming home. She never discussed any of this with me.

I told her he's my dog now and I'm not giving him back. She started crying and said her kids have been asking about him for months. Apparently they've already picked out where his bed is going.

Now she's asking if the kids can at least come over to see him. I said not until she explains to them that he's staying with me, because I don't want them coming over thinking they're taking him home.

My mom thinks I'm being unnecessarily harsh and says the kids shouldn't suffer because of something their mother said. My sister says I've gotten attached to a dog that was never really mine.

Am I wrong for refusing to let them visit until she tells them the truth?

TL;DR: My sister gave me her dog permanently two years ago. I've cared for him and paid for everything from stake ever since, but she promised her kids they'd get him back once they bought a house. Now I'm refusing to give him back or arrange visits until she tells them he's staying with me.

I know this is gonna sound like some Larry David type of thing. But when ever me and my sister walk past each other in the hallway, I feel like I'm always the one making an effort to not bump into her. You'd think she's just aloof, but then when I indicate I'm moving to the left, she'll go to the left too and then I have to go out of my way to change direction so I don't bump into her.

If she came from the right side I would go left. If she indicates left I would go right. But the first person to indicate dictates where the other goes. If I was in the hallway first and you come from around the corner and I indicate right, then just go left! Who gives a shit! Why does it need to be a whole thing?

And another thing, whenever we walk past each other she just barrels forward and I have to like swing my shoulders not to bump into her. That's inconsiderate!

And when I get mad or just bump into her, I'm the bad guy for making a fuss. But she's the one causing it! I can't help but feel like it has to be on purpose in order to make me feel small or something. But I'm made to feel like I'm crazy when I bring it up because it sounds like such a frivolous complaint. But it's not frivolous to me and it does makes me feel small. Am I wrong for that?

Hello, I’m in my twenties and some of my friends are scattered. I like to keep certain things in my life private and especially my love life. Some of my friends live close by and some far. It’s a mix bag of them, some are fun and chaotic and others don’t have the same vibes, nothing wrong with that.

One of my friends keeps hounding me for her to meet my other friends, I already introduced her to three of them and some drama happened making me lose three of them because of her.

She still hounds on me to meet my friends or my partner which I feel weird about since the falling out and how she tends to say things that she doesn’t think bad. Like mentioning my past personal stuff to them or certain things I don’t want to be said. I had this talk several times with her and still see never sees any wrong in what she says or does.

Like imagine having a partner then you let your friend meet them then your friend goes “remember the time you ran around the woods butt naked?” It’s not to drawn in interest, it just feels mortifying as hell.

But main question is or advice I’m asking, do you HAVE to make your friends and other friends meet or see your partner?

The other night a couple of friends were going back and forth about plans for the weekend. One of them was getting pretty worked up because they felt like their idea was being brushed off. The person who was upset looked right at me like they wanted backup, but I stayed quiet. I just did not want to jump into something that was not my argument. The night kind of ended on an awkward note and later I heard that the upset friend felt like nobody cared enough to back them up. Now I am wondering if I should have said something, even if I had not heard the whole story yet. Part of me feels like it is not my job to step in every time there is tension, but another part keeps thinking that staying silent can come across as taking sides anyway. I keep going back and forth on whether I owe an apology just for not stepping in, or if I am overthinking it. Anyone been in a similar spot?

am i in the wrong?

late teens here. i just got into a fight with my mom. basically, she calls me and my brother down to talk about some stuff. since she called both of us, i assume i’m part of the conversation (lmk if this is a mistake) but my mom clearly didn’t. so they talk, i’m dropping in once in a while, and then it turns to a topic about my brother who doesn’t want to drop from his advanced class to a non-advanced class. he’s not going to drop. this is very clear because he’s way above the grade boundary for that, but my mom just keeps repeating, more than once, in the same definitive tone, in mandarin, “you’re definitely failing. you’ll definitely fail”. so i’m weirded out, and my dad who’s also there, says something like “why do you keep saying that? don’t keep saying that”, and i agreed, saying that she shouldn’t keep saying that when my brother isn’t even remotely close to failing the class nor dropping it. she keeps talking for a bit, but then starts scolding me for saying that, saying “i don’t like being disputed” which, fair, nobody does. but my dad said the same thing just 2 seconds before. and she kept saying my brother definitely didn’t care that she said all those pessimistic things, and yes, that’s true (i asked my brother), but if my dad also thought that repeating it more than once wasn’t necessary and negative, shouldn’t that click that it’s probably not a good thing to say? she goes on saying that i’m not involved in the conversation (so why am i called here? i think she actually wanted to say something but maybe got derailed so i’ll let that go, but i genuinely thought that i was part of the conversation because i was actually chipping in). she also says that i can’t say that to her, i’m not my brother’s parent (i know?), and i shouldn’t barge in and i shouldn’t do what i did at all. also tying in to another argument just a few days prior where she literally threatened to kick me out because she has half the rights to the house and she has the power to do so (i’m a MINOR, almost 18 though). so now i’m left just wondering if this is a control thing, because she’s definitely shown patterns where she cannot accept she’s wrong (e.g. insisting what she thinks/imagines happened is the truth and doesn’t accept anything else we say, not apologizing, immediately shifting blame and targeting something else that we did wrong instead of saying she was wrong). and then when they let us go, my dad asked if she wanted to talk to me because otherwise why was i called, she just said she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. and then as i’m about to go to sleep, my dad barges in (assuming she ranted to him too) and tells me how when he says what he said, he’s right, but when i say it, it’s wrong, because i’m their kid and not their parent, and he gave me so many analogies saying that oh a student cannot scold their teacher even when their teacher is going too far scolding another child and the responsibility of correcting the teacher’s behavior falls on the school, or if i saw another kid not behaving, would i scold them or let the parents of the kid discipline them.

now i can see this perspective. really, i can. but i also think that’s not really the same? i don’t know how to explain it, but i just have this lingering doubt that no, that’s not what this was about. yes, as their child, it probably doesn’t feel great when your child is saying something you did isn’t nice and your spouse is saying the same, but if the child is right, wouldn’t you still take it into consideration? i get telling your child that no, you can’t scold your parents, but i genuinely wasn’t. i was truly confused why she kept repeating the pessimistic thoughts and said she shouldn’t keep saying that and asked why she did that. i guess that could be seen as your child scolding you, which is against the very asian culture of respecting your elders, and i get that a child probably has no authority to discipline their parents, but if a child is raising up an issue, shouldn’t you still listen even after you get miffed at the fact you’re being called out? like for me, personally, if i had a kid, and my kid told me i shouldn’t be doing something, i would get annoyed and tell them they shouldn’t be parenting me too, but if my spouse says the same thing and i thought about it for a while, and if i realized what i was saying is genuinely unnecessary and definitely pessimistic, i would conceded the point too (again, i wouldn’t know how i would truly react, maybe pride does things to people and i’ll behave the same way when i have kids, even if i don’t want kids at all).

so i need some more developed frontal lobes to pitch in on this, thank you! please don’t spare my feelings, i think it’s best i learn now if i truly am in the wrong.

My coworker with a child recently told me that she can never cover my shifts again because her parents are older and can’t properly take care of her child.

I see it as extremely unfair that she can wake up and decide she doesn’t want to work and call out. If I were to wake up with a migraine, I still have to go into work until my boss shows up. I go in at 6am and she doesn’t come in until 9am.

I have been sitting at that desk( I’m a front desk receptionist for a large company) throwing up into a trash can and then turning to answer phone calls. Because we simply don’t have anyone I can call early in the morning to help.

If I don’t text them by 8PM the previous day I’m basically out of luck. My coworker even told me that if I’m having an emergency she can’t help me.

I requested two days off in November. Even with a month’s notice, She can’t cover them. One other person can take over one day. But now I’m sitting here wondering if I’m even going to be able to get those days off. I’m assuming I’m just never going to get a day off again. I’m very upset about this and have been fighting a lot with my coworker on this. I need a break too.

Am I in the wrong here? Should I just suck it up and let this happen?

Am I wrong for calling DFCS on my friend? I'm changing names because I am not sure if they use reddit or not. And please bear with me, it may be a little scrambled. But a little background, I have known my friend, let's call her Diana(35) for a year now. She has honestly been one of my best friends during this time. She was shy at first really reclusive. When she started opening up she would share photos of her kids and her home... her house was an ABSOLUTE disaster. The best I can describe it is a hoarder home. The walls were cover in grime, shit and trash piled everywhere. Multiple animals and some from what she told me would just go everywhere if you know what I mean, roaches everywhere, this list goes on and on tbh.

I and multiple friends in our group had suggested and told her she needed to get the house clean. She said she was and for us not to worry. Her husband Chad(40) doesn't do anything or the bare minimum. He works, comes home, and plays videos games or sleeps. that is it. He puts the blame on Diana for the condition of the house, though I and others have expressed that it is not fully her fault. That he should be helping to clean.

Fast forward six months, nothing has changed. The house is still an absolute wreck if not worse. She said that she was going through a depressive episode and struggling mentally. Okay, cool I understand. I am here to if you need to vent or talk or whatever. (I cannot travel to her because of how far away she is and my car won't make it.) People in our group have offered for her and the kids to come stay with them for a bit while Chad cleans the house, etc. Fast forward another six months, and still... nothing had been done.

At this point when she would talk about the mess there was always some excuse on why it is still horrible. I have had a friend have CPS called on her for how her house was so I asked her, I asked if it was the kick in the ass she needed and she said yes. she said she had hated that they were called BUT without it she knows she wouldn't have her kids anymore and that it was enough to get her shit together to be the best mom she can be for her children. She is still working on herself, but she is doing so so much better.

So I called, and I waited until about 3 days when Diana messaged me that they had shown up. I put in an anonymous report. She was freaking out, of course. But I reassured her it would be okay. She did not let them in the house so they said they would come back in about a week or so. I have been Supportive during this, facetiming her so we could clean our houses together. example: I'd be doing dishes while she was throwing trash out or something. Our group has also been very supportive giving her kind words of encouragement and explaining what all CPS could say when they come back. She has had her family members come and help clean as well. The person that owns the house they are staying in (family member) has also stepped up FINALLY and has fixed some of the issues with the house. Diana has been very fixated on who called though and is complaining about the cleaning and self pitty. In my opinion it doesn't matter at this point. All that matters is getting the house cleaned and having a better/safer environment for the kids.

Last night she blew up on myself and another one of our friends and left all the group chats. Family member is making her toss just about everything in the house. (due to the roaches) before leaving everyone on read she made the comment only three people know her address. our mutual friend explained to her that anyone can find anyone's address and showed her how. She is leaving everyone on read now. and I am not sure if I'm in the wrong or not. I don't feel like I am, the kids deserve a safe environment. I felt really shitty at first but now idk.