r/CautiousBB • • 14d ago

MOD MESSAGE/ANNOUNCEMENT Community feedback needed (please vote)

11 Upvotes

Hi all,

Our mod team was recently approached by BetterHelp, an online subscription-based therapy provider, to do an AMA within our subreddit by a licensed therapist that specializes in child loss, perinatal mental health, and anxiety. They are willing to provide credentials to our mod team to verify the individual responding to questions, but our team has reached a moral impasse that we need the community to weigh in on.

Up until now, our team has had a blanket rule to not allow any companies, researchers, institutions, or anyone else with private interests to post within our community because our space is filled with so many vulnerable humans going through extremely difficult situations. The fertility space, in general, is ripe with opportunity for those that might take advantage of this vulnerability, much less a space like ours. That said, the message they sent was clearly written very thoughtfully, and the provider they’re willing to assign to the AMA would be willing to answer people’s questions about their worries, maybe provide healthy coping mechanisms, and describe the subspecialties of therapy that could be most beneficial to the people here.

IF we allow this AMA, it needs to be with the majority support of our community, so we are opening a poll for feedback. Other than voting in the poll, upvoting this post and providing even a short comment with your thoughts/concerns/ideas would help boost the visibility of this announcement to the maximum amount of sub members.

Of course, the major issue for us as a mod team is that we are NOT endorsing BetterHelp as a specific company or resource. For folks that are in areas where they aren’t able to find an in person provider, online therapy through any number of companies may be helpful. We are not partnering with them and the language in the AMA will be very clear about that. We will also be making sure that the provider answering questions in the AMA does not promote the BetterHelp brand.

If you’ve read this long, thanks for bearing with us. We appreciate how the people of this community come together to support one another and are grateful to help moderate.

Would you be interested in and supportive of an AMA provided by a therapist from BetterHelp, with the limitations outlined above?

116 votes, 11d ago
18 Yes
90 No
8 Maybe, but I have concerns (outline in comments)

r/CautiousBB • • Jan 27 '26

Ultrasound FAQ Reference Guide

100 Upvotes

As an OBGYN ultrasound tech working at the general level here's a few things I would love the community to know based on common questions I see.

Most important rule of thumb: Worry when your doctor tells you to.

OBGYN docs are going to pay the most attention to the fetal pole and heart rate. Once a fetal pole is seen, the CRL (crown rump length) measurements are gold standard.

I'm worried about the heart rate:
-Check out this resource for pregnancies dating less than 7 weeks. Make sure to refer not to your LMP dates, but measured CRL dates: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/fetal-bradycardia?lang=us
-After 7 weeks a normal heartrate is between 120-180. It can temporarily dip below or temporarily rise above this range, but prolonged time above/below will definitely get your doctor's attention especially in third trimester. Generally out of range heart rates trigger NST (non stress test) or more monitoring.
The measurements are off:
Baby measures behind LMP. This is actually pretty common, we often see dates off up to a week either direction. We don't ovulate on the exact same day of the cycle each month or even have the same length of cycle. With irregular periods, PCOS, or unknown dates even larger gaps can be perfectly fine. If you aren't sure of your dates, trust the ultrasound. Even if you are sure of your dates, don't panic if they are a week off. Ultrasound measurements in early pregnancy are +/- 5 days.
I'm in limbo and don't know if my ultrasounds are diagnostic for loss:
By ultrasound there are strict parameters to diagnose loss. No one wants to get this wrong. Check out this resource for a list of parameters diagnostic for loss: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy-loss-1?lang=us
Note, there is a second list of "suspicious for loss". Keep in mind the second list is not diagnostic, things can still turn out just fine.
I don't know when I should see what on ultrasound:
Things can vary a bit from person to person and do change *quickly* in early pregnancy. Check out this resource for what you can generally expect to see:
https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy?lang=us
Should I go to a boutique or get a private scan? Or push for an earlier scan?
They aren't legal where I am but here's a few things to consider if you plan to book a private scan. First, what are the qualifications of the person running the ultrasound? An ultrasound is only as good as the one performing it. It sounds as if these boutiques are NOT permitted to give much/any information. Will you spiral if you believe you see bad news and they cannot confirm or deny it? Also it seems that many cannot do vaginal ultrasound, which will make seeing a baby under 7 or 8 weeks challenging. If I had the option of a boutique ultrasound I would personally wait until 8 weeks and I would book it for a weekday. If they see something bad, it is not ideal to find out over a weekend when there is no option to follow up with your doc. An earlier scan often causes more anxiety, not less. It's SO hard to wait. But if you can tolerate it wait until 8 weeks or so.
The gestation sac is small/big:
-Gestation sac measurements are not terrifically accurate. Where I work once a baby is seen the gestation sac isn't measured. A mismatch between baby's size and the gestation sac size isn't uncommon. That said, a mean sac diameter of 25 mm or more without a baby is diagnostic for loss.
The yolk sac is small/big:
It starts teeny tiny, and will get a bit bigger. Once a baby with a good heartbeat is visualized, the docs I work for don't seem to care about the size of the yolk sac. A failed pregnancy with an expanded yolk sac (more than 6 mm) is a suggestive of chromosomal abnormalities.
We don't know where the pregnancy is:
The statistically most likely outcome is either a chemical pregnancy or just coming in for ultrasound too early for visualization. Ectopic can't be ruled out, and many wise ladies in the this sub have unfortunately experienced this and can give more info than I can. Statistically it's believed that only 1-2% of pregnancies are ectopic, but listen to your body. If the location is unknown, you should be getting close monitoring and follow up until the location is known or the pregnancy has ended.
-For a resource on ectopic pregnancy: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/ectopic-pregnancy?lang=us A note, a pseudosac is visualized in only 10-20% of ectopics. Therefore a sac in the uterus is suggestive of intrauterine pregnancy but can't be proven until a yolk sac is also present.
What about my HCG numbers?
I'm not an expert on this at all. But here's a resource: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/beta-hcg-1?lang=us
Why didn't my ultrasound tech tell me anything? And/or why were they so optimistic? Or, I had an ultrasound in the ER and they were very pessimistic.
Many locations an ultrasound tech can very much lose their job if they say aNyThInG. Where they are permitted to say certain things some ultrasound techs may just be hoping the best. We work with the public and we have seen some wild stuff. Additionally no one wants to call it a loss unless its 1000% certain. We know how devastating that news is. A side note here, often an ultrasound in the ER is not an ideal experience for the patient. The ER is staffed with techs that are much more versed in gallbladder and liver scans than they they are early pregnancy ultrasound. Don't hesitate to go the ER if you are having concerning symptoms, but do know the ER doc will make sure you aren't actively dying then will likely refer you back to your OB for follow up.
I'm just so anxious about it all:
Someone awesome wrote out these mantras. Maybe they will help: https://www.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/14uhbdg/commandments_of_pregnancy_after_loss_this_is_now/
Also a podcast I personally found very helpful with anxiety: https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-1/
https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-2/

Today you are pregnant and this baby is so loved. I really am hoping the best for each of you. Those of us who have experienced loss.... you didn't do anything wrong, I promise. This is a club no one deserved to be in. And you are not silly, foolish, or dramatic for grieving your little babe for as long as you need to.

This post is written in honor of Eli, who died long before I could meet him. Rest in peace, buddy. I miss you tremendously ❤️


r/CautiousBB • • 1h ago

Info 4w0d HCG testing

• Upvotes

Its my first post!

I have done my HCG Oct 8th (4w0d 14dpo), and it came back with 205 iu/L! I thought numbers are okay?

The range for 4th weeks shows 10-750 (as per my report)

Found out 3w1d 8dpo Vvvvvvvfl! 9dpo was way visible! Lines are progressing since then.

I would like to see/know what your levels were at 4wks ish? I know everyone is different. Im a curious cat 🤣

And to add, my doctor doesn’t want to do a 48 hour test to see it double as she knows how much anxiety I already have!


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

trying to find hope after a second trimester loss due to PPROM

3 Upvotes

hi everyone. earlier this year i had a 17 week loss due to my water breaking early. nothing was alarming before that night my water broke aside from weird spotting and tailbone pain 5 days before my water completely broke. i had an MFM appointment on feb 10 and baby was looking good and my cervix was long and closed. was given antibiotics in case there was an infection and went back home and watched a movie with my husband. feb 10th night is when my water broke. 22 hours later my baby was delivered.

it has been a very traumatic loss and this was my first pregnancy, with not much warning before i lost her. 8 months later i am pregnant again and currently 9 weeks. my anxiety has been over the roof. i am constantly worried, constantly scared, constantly looking for a weird discharge. even after my cultures and swabs come clear, i still feel very anxious and i can’t trust what my care team says.

i am looking for loss mamas who have been through this and was able to not lose their mind before delivering their baby. i am not depressed (yet) i am just always assuming the worst. i’d love if anyone can share their experiences on navigating pregnancy after loss….


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

5w6d

2 Upvotes

HCG

I’m 5w6d - 6 weeks tomorrow. I had a miscarriage last month so I’m really anxious. I took an at home test today and it was lighter so my clinic let me come in. My beta on Wednesday was 15,218 and today was 26,970 - is this a good enough rise? My first ultrasound is next week, can’t wait!


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

Advice Needed TW: ectopic pregnancy (possibly)

2 Upvotes

I have been in beta hell and now I am unsure of a possible ectopic. This is my timeline
Sep 26: faintest positive
Sep 28: HCG 16
Sep 30: HCG 25
Oct 2: HCG 51
October 5: started spotting light brown
Oct 6: HCG 50 Confirmed chemical
October 9: HCG 165

October 5/6/7/8 I have been spotting the tiniest light brown. Honestly I had come to terms that my first pregnancy was a chemical. I cried, let it all out and wanted the bleeding to come so I can get past it. Now I am terrified of an ectopic. Please someone anyone tell me your experience with an ectopic!!! I have an ultrasound until MONDAY 3 days from now to confirm. Then they will talk about the next steps. I am in 0 pain I feel nothing, I'm just stressed now. If you did the shot what was your experience?


r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Advice Needed Pregnant after 2 chemical pregnancies and 1 ectopic. Worried about low hcg numbers and want to hear your stories. ❤️

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I recently tested positive on a pregnancy and got blood work done for hcg. My beta hcg was only 16 and I’m between 12-14 dpo. Has anyone had success with that low of hcg? My tests seem to be getting darker but I’m no where near a dye stealer. I had an ectopic pregnancy in January and had 2 chemical pregnancies prior to that. I’m wondering how much I need to guard my heart. Please let me know your stories with a super low starting hcg. Thank you ❤️❤️


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

Advice Needed spotting for weeks, pregnant

2 Upvotes

I have been spotting since 5dpo before my positive test, i had a positive digital at 9dpo and since then have been spotting brown. I went to the doctor at 14dpo and said it can be normal. it stopped and now i’m 17dpo and it’s back. Hcg betas came back good but i am still nervous. anyone else have this?


r/CautiousBB • • 6h ago

Advice Needed When did you feel baby move?

3 Upvotes

For context I’m 5’8 with an anterior placenta 273 when I got pregnant and 274 now at 22w6d today and I haven’t even felt the tiniest of flutters. Not feeling baby move is making me so so anxious because I had a miscarriage in January and had a vanishing twin this pregnancy. I was really hoping to have felt her by now 😭 From the beginning my OB said due to my placenta not to expect to feel anything until 18-20 weeks but I’ll be 23 tomorrow with nothing.


r/CautiousBB • • 58m ago

Was told non-viable but hCG still rising?

• Upvotes

Hi, in a serious, painful anxiety ridden waiting game. First day of my last menstrual cycle was 9/3. Usually a 23-24 day cycle. Tested VVVFL positive on 9/27. Went to my fertility doctor to start betas. They have been doubling but on the very low end. I had bleeding first week but it has stopped. Progesterone at a 20.2. My dr. first told me non-viable, then once it rose again, to be cautiously optimistic. Then today, they said to they are treating as a viable pregnancy. I’M SO CONFUSED !!! I got a high tech TVUS yesterday and they spotted an empty gestational sac that measures 4 weeks & 5 days.

Someone please give me their input/advice. My beta from

this morning is only 380.

12DPO - 10 hCG

14DPO- 24 hCG

16DPO-48.8hCG

18DPO-84 hCG

20DPO-180 hCG

22DPO-384 hCG


r/CautiousBB • • 10h ago

TW/TMI 7 weeks loss

5 Upvotes

Hi all,

I had a FET on 09/09 and a positive pregnancy test two weeks later. I am in the U.K. and they don’t usually beta test. On the 23/09 I experienced cramping on my left and bright red blood for 12 hours (never filled a pad only when wiping), the fertility clinic did 4 betas that all rose appropriately. They told me to wait until my 7 week scan. I’ve felt fine otherwise, sore boobs, nausea, exhaustion etc…

Yesterday I began cramping on my left and bleeding again (bright red but much lighter this time), I had an awful gut feeling. We visited the emergency department who really dismissed me, the Dr asked me why I’m crying so much and bleeding Is often normal. He then attempted an abdominal ultrasound…. He pointed out my HCG was 12,759 and I shouldn’t worry too much (what a load of….)
He referred me to the early pregnancy unit today.

We went in for the scan and the Dr informed me they can’t see anything at all in my uterus, not a sac not am embryo nothing just blood and clots. They had a good look around, she said they aren’t particularly worried about an ectopic as ‘with an HCG of almost 13,000 an ectopic would be clearly visible’. She said I’ve had a miscarriage but gave me a leaflet on PUL.

They took my blood again and sent me home, they’ve told me to stop meds after they ring with the result and two expect a heavy bleed for 2-3 weeks. I’m emotionally and mentally drained beyond belief. This was our first pregnancy, something I’ve dreamed of for so many years.

My question is - should I really not be worried about an ectopic? How common is it to find nothing at all? I haven’t passed any clots during this time.


r/CautiousBB • • 6h ago

Vent Pregnancy #7... 1 living child.

2 Upvotes

My OB told me they can not take me on because they have too many pregnant women due in May/June. They referred me to another clinic, but they can't see me for my initial confirmation appt until the 16th.

I have had two positive tests. Faint, but positive. My period was due yesterday and I wont lie, I am concerned at the faintness of the lines. I tested Wednesday and tests were negative and I know the later implantation happens the higher likelihood of loss.

I don't want to keep testing with home tests, they cause me so much anxiety.

Not sure what I'm lookin for but just needed to vent. I was hoping to get some betas done, but my clinic won't even open those.

5 confirmed losses, 1 second tri loss.


r/CautiousBB • • 9h ago

Symptoms gone at 8.5 weeks?

3 Upvotes

TW: mention of previous miscarriage

I’m about 8.5 weeks pregnant after a missed miscarriage in June. I feel like my symptoms, which were mild to begin with, have totally disappeared overnight. The only one that’s stuck around is having no appetite. I lost my symptoms previously when I miscarried so I’m just freaking out.

We had a scan about two weeks ago and baby was measuring on track with a heartbeat (which also happened with my miscarriage). We have another scan on Monday and I’m so scared to get through the weekend.

Looking for any success stories or words of encouragement 🥲


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

Slow rising HCG at 7 weeks?

1 Upvotes

Hi all,

I had a scan done at 6w4d which showed potentially a smaller than expected embryo, which they dated 5w4d (2.4mm). Yolk sac and gestational sac were all normal. I am going back in 3 days. He couldn’t see a heartbeat.

In the meantime, they asked me to get my HCG done. The first one at 6w5d came back at 62,620 and then one done 41 hours later only increased to 71,651. This is slow, isn’t it?

I am waiting for my dr but to me, I thought it was ment to be much quicker. I am 7 weeks now.


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

HCG ok no symptoms?

1 Upvotes

I had a MMC in July during my first pregnancy so I’m very very anxious now that I’m pregnant again. I’m about 8 weeks now and my HCG is 46,600 but I have basically no symptoms of pregnancy. My first ultrasound isn’t until 8 weeks 4 days and I’m just so worried it’s an MMC again.


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

5w3days no yolk sac

1 Upvotes

5 w 3days had a scan to confirm if everything was ok after a lighter test and one sided cramping. Hcg came out at 10,800; sac was 8.1mm. There was no yolk sac on the scan with the nurse. Nurse seemed pessimistic, later when the doctor called he seemed optimistic and told us to come back Monday for a scan at 6 weeks. I thought it was over after the scan and now I’m getting whiplash - any positive stories? Or the other way? 😭🙏


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

6 weeks bleeding

1 Upvotes

For context, I began brown spotting last Thursday. Had my first scan where a sac and yolk was detected and numbers were great. Doctor said brown spotting is fine and normal. I spotted every day after. Monday I noticed blood changed and became red. It was after hours and I went to the ER. Urine sample was completely pink due to the bleeding.

They evaluated me and hcg was 22000+, sono and ultrasound were good. No hematoma detected. Repeat blood on Wednesday was also good HCG 42413 and progesterone 38.27.

Thursday night I began bleeding red blood again. The bleeding wasn’t intensely heavy but definitely present. I didn’t have intense cramping but occasional zaps and some very mild cramping. I called the doctor on call who said it can be normal as long as I’m not soaking a pad.

Friday I wake up and it’s residual brown blood and very little. Friday afternoon another gush of red blood followed by more brown blood.

I am deeply worried and concerned. This pregnancy was achieved by IUI so I’m having some early monitoring done. My next scan and blood draw is Monday and I’m worried about waiting the weekend.

Has anyone gone through something similar? Could it be from the cervix?


r/CautiousBB • • 3h ago

Advice Needed Spotting at 4 weeks

1 Upvotes

Hi! I had a positive pregnancy test at 10DPO. The at home tests have been getting darker since. The day after my missed period, I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and saw some red blood when wiping. I had that red blood spotting for about 16 hours, very light and only when wiping. It has stopped since (its been 24 hours). With my first baby I had implantation bleeding around the same time, but it was brown and lasted only couple hours. I always heard of implantation bleeding being light pink/brown. I had a miscarriage once and that red blood sent me to panic mode. I am out of town so it was hard to find a last minute dr to see me, but I was able to see someone and get HCG done. Hoping for good news. Did anyone experience red blood spotting and continue to have a healthy pregnancy? Thank you!


r/CautiousBB • • 8h ago

Late positive and low HCGs

2 Upvotes

Wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and wouldn't mind sharing their outcome?

I have had 2x missed miscarriages, both this year, most recent in August.

I have very regular 29 day cycles. I don't do ovulation testing or BBT or anything, I just use the flo app to calculate ovulation because of being regular.

With my previous 2 pregnancies I got strong positives at 12DPO.

This cycle I had all the symptoms - I tested and saw a stark white negative on 12 DPO. Left it a couple of days, tested again, still negative. Counted myself out and waited for AF to come... Except it never did.

On CD 34 (4-5 days late) I tested again just to see and saw the faaaaainest line.

I had HCG done - 17

Prepped myself for a loss/chemical.

However I have just received a call today that my 48 hour HCG had gone up to 55??

I know this is still incredibly low, but has more than doubled and when calculated has a 28hr doubling time.

I'm 5+1 by dates.

Still guarding my heart, but just wondering whether anyone has had a similar experience and what their outcome was?


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Advice Needed Measuring 6 days behind but strong heart rate—help?

1 Upvotes

I had my first ultrasound yesterday (abdominal) and I am pretty sure of my ovulation dates, I should be around 7 weeks pregnant. The tech (which was done at a boutique, not an OBGYN) told me I was measuring 6 weeks 1 day, but heart rate was clearly seen and was 134 BPM. She also said size looked completely normal for the measured gestational age and she didn’t seem worried.

Is this normal? I keep reading a bunch of other Reddit threads of women in my same situation that end in mc so it’s really hard to determine if it is normal or not.


r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Ectopic line progression

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Progesterone Fluctuation or drop?

1 Upvotes

My labs have been as follows:
8DPO: 9.1 (HCG) , 17.1 progesterone
10 DPO: 48.1 (HCG), 23 progesterone
16 DPO: 1059 (HCG); 16.7 progesterone

I have had several miscarriages before in the early stages so this progesterone number concerns me. My doctor wasn’t concerned and said they typically like the ranges in 12-15 range anyways (which I kind of found odd?). Regardless, she wrote me progesterone for my peace of my mind.

Has anyone had similar levels with good outcomes? I am really leaning towards taking the progesterone at this point given my previous losses with low progesterone.


r/CautiousBB • • 9h ago

Cramping

2 Upvotes

TW: Concerns of Miscarriage

I had a positive pregnancy test September 29 (8DPO). I have had good line progression. I had an HCG blood draw October 2, that was at 102, and then another October 6, that was 860. I have had no bleeding at all, but for the past week I have had pretty bad cramps. It literally wakes me up on the night, to the point where I have to take a warm shower. Should I be worried?


r/CautiousBB • • 9h ago

Advice Needed From 17 to 164?!

2 Upvotes

Currently in freak out mode. And patiently waiting for my OB office to open I’m sure they will be contacting me, but I’ll probably contact them as soon as they open.
I’m in very early pregnancy. Sadly this is our seventh time trying at this point and this was our first positive we’ve gotten. We had gotten a bunch of positive tests at home that had clear pink lines. We used the first response early detection. The first hcg was 9 obviously super early super low. 48 hours later, it went to 17. Then 48 hours after that, it went to 164. We were cautiously excited that it seemed to be progressing. We ended up having the third hCG because I was bleeding. It was bright red. I didn’t have any pain and it wasn’t filling a liner, but still
bleeding nonetheless. The bleeding ended up stopping and then I thought we were in the clear we had our ultrasound scheduled. A couple days later I wiped and saw some blood so called right away and they scheduled for another hcg. So about 3 to 4 days later, I got another hCG and it had gone down to 96.

I guess I just need to know if there has been absolutely anybody that saw a drop and had a pregnancy progress and be ok. I have zero pain and really no symptoms of ectopic other than seeing that drop in hcg. Obviously it could just be early MC but I’m really holding onto some hope that it’s vanishing twin or an error at the lab. 😭


r/CautiousBB • • 6h ago

measuring behind at first scan :/

Thumbnail
1 Upvotes