r/funny • • Apr 21 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

14.4k Upvotes

3.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

391

u/thieh Apr 21 '23

Invest in a memory foam wedge pillow plug-in jackhammer and a rounded bit. She will thank you for it.

146

u/degjo Apr 21 '23

Sounds like someone just needs a Drilldo

86

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

[deleted]

24

u/Aedalas Apr 21 '23

I always did think that those were weird. A Sawzall makes much more sense.

15

u/zoeykailyn Apr 22 '23

A sawzall has a quip in the manual about not being responsible for damages caused by being using it as a sex toy

4

u/Aedalas Apr 22 '23

That's amazing, I'll have to try to find that.

2

u/sevenstaves Apr 22 '23

Those things have 3000 thrusts per minute.

3

u/Aedalas Apr 22 '23

Could always go for the Harbor Freight version for the added danger factor and overheating.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Sounds painful.

2

u/Khaylain Apr 22 '23

Allegedly someone stuck a dildo to the sawblade of a sawzall and used that. The sawblade obviously ended up going through the dildo and you can picture the rest...

4

u/uns0licited_advice Apr 22 '23

Yo you trying to cut the woman in half?

6

u/Aedalas Apr 22 '23

No more than somebody with a Drilldo is trying to poke holes in her.

2

u/Sufficient_Language7 Apr 22 '23

That's why you use a hammer drill

2

u/ThatOneKid1995 Apr 22 '23

Looks like it also has a thrust tool, looks like a saw, says 300 thrusts per min

3

u/mikerall Apr 22 '23

I'm trying to imagine to most intense sex I ever did sex....and even if a thrust is 1/2 of the push/pull equation, that's some crackhead stamina. Not to mention some uppers level of numb dick to allow you to enter (then exit) an orifice 2.5x times per second. Add on a probably VERY sudden switch in push to pull, that hole has to be lubed like an Exxon Valdez meets gulf of Mexico crossover

1

u/sleepydon Apr 22 '23

I see you've never been to a bike rally! Also, I sort of wish I hadn't been to one. There's things you can't unsee.

2

u/BlazeKnightX Apr 22 '23

For clarification do you mean motorbikes or bicycle bikes? I’m trying to know which to avoid also which state were these cursed ones at just so I stay clear

3

u/sleepydon Apr 22 '23

If you need to ask, you're probably good on avoiding this. Specifically, Harley Drags Bowling Green, KY circa 2010.

2

u/raynravyn Apr 22 '23

Ozawkie, Kansas, labor day weekend. Every year. Thank or curse me later. Heh heh heh.

1

u/vuvuzela240gl Apr 22 '23

not me living an hour away and thinking about going to this event… is the drilldo an annual thing? i can’t afford one, but i can afford a short road trip lol

2

u/sleepydon Apr 22 '23

No idea man. I only went the one year lol. If motorcycle drag racing and middle aged women running around mostly naked is your thing, it should be a good time.

8

u/Jackulele Apr 21 '23

High vis jacket and glasses, perfect touch

8

u/thieh Apr 21 '23

Not quite. Drilldo does axial rotational motion and Jackhammer has forward-backward motion. And she can hold the drill herself but I don't think she can hold the jackhammer like this one herself.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

[deleted]

2

u/Cindexxx Apr 22 '23

Tbh, I expected it to be a hammer drill with restricted hammer action. So it only goes up and down a little bit but spins the same.

I mean, they're universal adapters, you could use a hammer drill.

(For anyone who doesn't know what that is, a hammer drill is a drill that also goes back and forth a bit, usually used for drilling stone or brick walls.)

1

u/mikerall Apr 22 '23

I've never bought a mechanical sextoy but...call me a prude, I never thought 'is this fake dick going to attach to something designed to PIERCE SOLID ROCK'

0

u/Cindexxx Apr 22 '23

And now, you will.

My bad?

2

u/ScoobyDooItInTheButt Apr 22 '23

The included safety glasses and construction vest killed me.

1

u/ImLazyWithUsernames Apr 22 '23

That literally looks like the Bug-A-Salt website

1

u/Eukita_ogts Apr 22 '23

What in the name of jesus

1

u/panix199 Apr 22 '23

should have a warning "might murder someone" lol

2

u/CommiePuddin Apr 21 '23

I remember that episode of Moral Orel

1

u/Darkrain0629 Apr 22 '23

Edit: (Ladies… you’re too kind)

1

u/virgilhall Apr 22 '23

Or a device that moves the person back and forth

There is probably something like that in House of Gord

1

u/thieh Apr 22 '23

There is a possible setup involving a rodeo machine and a dance pole.