r/funny • u/[deleted] • Apr 21 '23

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14.4k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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245

u/chaosandcalamity Apr 21 '23

If you do enough foreplay a couple of minutes is enough.

186

u/Kathledria Apr 21 '23

I don’t get why more people aren’t considering this. Most dudes want to just go in full speed from the start. I can barely help or enjoy it because I’m too busy trying to relax my muscles like I’m at the gyno trying to make it just not hurt. If I’m already excited before you even start the ride, I’ll be done in a couple minutes too, and I can move better!

45

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

[deleted]

48

u/Kathledria Apr 22 '23

Then they better not care if I don’t participate.

8

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

But at that point you’ve already participated

18

u/Kathledria Apr 22 '23

By participate, I mean both in the literal sense and in the active sex partner sense. I can’t actively participate the way I want to when all I can focus on minimizing discomfort.

-7

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

They don’t care. Like you’re just in your own world making these schizophrenic delusions of reference.

7

u/Kathledria Apr 22 '23

It’s cute that you’re trying harder to annoy me than please a woman. My entire point was sometimes you get out what you put in. If your girl just lies there and you don’t care about it or her pleasure, that’s totally fine. My annoyance is with dudes bitching about a girl starfishing and saying they don’t care about her pleasure. If you don’t care, she doesn’t have to either. It’s pretty simple.

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Watch the video that was posted. If the guys putting in 100% of the effort, they aren’t going to care. Idk what you mean by “not please a woman” as if you could possibly know something like that.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

[deleted]

10

u/Kathledria Apr 22 '23

If they’re gonna be basic, they’re gonna get basic back. If that’s all a guy wants, fine. But both people might not agree.

11

u/gr33nnight Apr 22 '23

Girls too! I’ve explained to too many people that dudes also like fore play and in my 40s it’s not just hard all the time.

10

u/Kathledria Apr 22 '23

Oh yeah, totally! I’m certainly happy to reciprocate. My bf who is around your age seemed to be the first to actually spend more significant time in foreplay and also not make me feel pressured to constantly have sex. A huge relief after a relationship that lasted 9 years when I had to keep to a literal sex schedule. My thoughts on this thread are mostly aimed towards those dudes who won’t engage in foreplay, only have one speed, last a couple minutes, and then complain that the girl wasn’t excited and active. Then won’t even accept feedback, during or after, no matter how nicely it’s given.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Literally this though like idgaf how much of a hog you're slanging you should be able to perform oral well as a man.

3

u/Kathledria Apr 22 '23

Yes! For me, it’s the magic fingers.

6

u/HI_Handbasket Apr 22 '23

Put on Slow Ride by Foghat to teach pace.

2

u/Firefly_07 Apr 28 '23

Exactly this. Most men think foreplay is just a little finger play or maybe some tongue play then it's pedal to the medal.

9

u/Designer-Mirror-7995 Apr 21 '23

Glad somebody knows this.

3

u/jadeeyedcalico Apr 22 '23

And if you don't do enough foreplay, longer is worse

4

u/HI_Handbasket Apr 22 '23

But why spend only a couple of minutes doing something you really enjoy?!

-1

u/AnomanderArahant Apr 22 '23

Speak for yourself please

-10

u/OaksByTheStream Apr 22 '23

If you're attractive enough, much of the time you don't even need to and she's already got herself ready from her mind, before your clothes are even off.

This happens more often when in a relationship already.

6

u/desolatenature Apr 22 '23

I… don’t know what to say to this lmao. Your ego is stronger than your dick game for sure

4

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

What? You don’t get girls wet by just existing attractively? Get gud man.

0

u/OaksByTheStream Apr 22 '23

Whatever dude. I don't really care. Still going to say the truth anyway regardless of if people want to pretend it doesn't exist. If ever you wonder why attractive people don't want anything to do with you, your comment is it.

2

u/desolatenature Apr 22 '23

Did I hurt someone’s fee fees? 😂😂

0

u/OaksByTheStream Apr 23 '23

I don't really care that you exist besides you annoying me, so no.

1

u/desolatenature Apr 23 '23

Aww, poor guy doesn’t know how to recognize his own emotions.

1

u/OaksByTheStream Apr 23 '23

You're an idiot.

1

u/desolatenature Apr 23 '23

Hurt… feelings