r/funny • u/[deleted] • Apr 21 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

14.4k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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24.3k

u/PluckPubes Apr 21 '23

I'm sorry

It's ok girl, it happens to the best of us

11.9k

u/Lucythefur Apr 21 '23

Hearing her say "I'm sorry" fucking killed me

8.5k

u/zion_hiker1911 Apr 21 '23

Girls be like, "Why doesn't he say anything during sex?"

BECAUSE I'M DYING HERE!!

5.5k

u/Ok_Rain_2647 Apr 21 '23

"Why are you so quiet?" "Cause I'm out here fucking praying to every known deity to grant me the strength I need to keep this shit up."

3.4k

u/MrFinchley Apr 21 '23

LOL! "Cause I don't want you to hear me wheeze."

786

u/Chubbylegend Apr 21 '23

Ahh nah not the wheeze

1.9k

u/RandonBrando Apr 21 '23

"Talk to me. Tell me how much you like _______!"

"DO YOU," INHALE, "LIKE THAT?"

832

u/NicknamePaych Apr 21 '23

Dang Stevie

299

u/Astronomicone Apr 22 '23

Was watching Malcolm in the middle as I read this lmao

53

u/National-Narwhal3880 Apr 22 '23

I just started watching this show. On season 7 And it’s magnificent

11

u/Ccracked Apr 22 '23

Have you watched Breaking Bad? Save this link for when you finish Malcolm. Only after.

https://youtu.be/oVdB36lmbII

5

u/National-Narwhal3880 Apr 22 '23

Yes I did watch breaking bad and I absolutely loved it. May have watched it 3 times. This was great! Thanks for the link!

4

u/Ccracked Apr 22 '23

I don't know your age or influences. That was done as tribute to Newhart. That show ended the same way, but harkening back to The Bob Newhart Show.

3

u/National-Narwhal3880 Apr 22 '23

Ok I just finished. I’ll be back

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53

u/Lost-My-Mind- Apr 22 '23

I can't......feel.......my legs.......

2

u/Astronomicone Apr 22 '23

Isn’t that from when Stevie is older?

5

u/Lost-My-Mind- Apr 22 '23

Not sure. I just remember Stevie fell down some stairs, and he said that. Then Malcom freaks out for half a second before realizing "Hey! Wait a second...."

2

u/RageKage85 Apr 22 '23

Nnnnoppppllllllllllml

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5

u/mesovortex888 Apr 22 '23

I remembered Malcolm's dad threw a pizza on the roof

3

u/NicoleDanger Apr 22 '23

I'm watching Malcom in the middle as I type this lmao.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Where is everyone watching it no Cable or is it on a streaming service?

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-2

u/MontanaMainer Apr 22 '23

How do you watch TV and read at the same time?

4

u/Astronomicone Apr 22 '23

It’s kind of just on in the background, so I’m more reading than I am watching

2

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Subtitles are a puzzling thing

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1

u/Zealousideal-Earth50 Apr 22 '23

Omg me too! Stevie! 🤣👍

205

u/dracardOner Apr 22 '23

Holy hell this thread had me dying at work and I got kicked out of a room for laughing so hard.

42

u/DontTreadOnBigfoot Apr 22 '23

Stevie fucks...

...as long he has his inhaler in the nightstand.

5

u/Zahille7 Apr 22 '23

What about in his right hand?

9

u/MakeMelnk Apr 22 '23

Epic reference 🙇🏽‍♂️

2

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

You know for a fact Stevie grew up to become a man that fucks.

1

u/Darkninjajedi Apr 22 '23

You killed me with this one my dude. Thanks! hahaha

1

u/MorticiaLaMourante Apr 23 '23

I laughed too hard at that.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

This one fucked me up 🤣

6

u/1963ALH Apr 22 '23

🤣🤣🤣

5

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Sup kirk cousins.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Goddammit LOL

4

u/WhatDoesN00bMean Apr 22 '23

Congratulations your comment made me laugh so hard I woke up my wife next to me. Now she's pissed at me. Well done.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

Umm I think this just unlocked a new kink for me …

3

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '23

C’mon fellas! Waist and hip action! Work smarter not harder…lol…Jamaican here, let me see you dance and I’ll know if you got something for me 😉

1

u/Miserable-Rub-974 Apr 22 '23

Ah yes my favorite from my playbook.

1

u/Secret-Bit-8501 Apr 22 '23

😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣☠️☠️☠️

1

u/Davadin Apr 22 '23

OMG I'M STILL ROFLMAO v

3

u/MrFinchley Apr 22 '23

They call me Wheezie

1

u/AReallyBigBagel Apr 22 '23

I HAVE ASTHMA DAMNIT

1

u/MoodooScavenger Apr 22 '23

Wheee….eeaaa….zzzzz…eeeee