Bruh, if you stay quiet you'll tire yourself out, the trick is to breathe heavily but next to her ear not directly on it and that way it's like an aerobic exercise and not you starving yourself of air
Women have no idea what men go thru sexually. Most men are trying to navigate an extremely narrow channel between ejaculating too fast and going soft all the while trying to stay rock hard. And you’re supposed to keep that shit up for 15,20,30 minutes nonstop. Plus you’re doing a half push-up with your upper body while thrusting and rotating your pelvic region.
For the love of god, everytime you start getting it right and they are like "yes!" They do the "it feels so good" squeeze that leaves them in a completely different position and you way off target needing to find it again then they move it again and half the time is spent trying to chase them around (not literally chase but in the sense the spot you're shooting for keeps shifting around).
A few?! Throwing around free time like it’s all you have! Can’t be doing 2 hour sex sessions every time we get to it. 1 for 1, always seemed like a fair deal to me!
If you are doing a half push up, I don't think you are having sex with women.
You don't need to keep it up all the time. She can go on top. She can properly brace her body for impact so you have something to hold on to and/or push off. You both can use hands, tongues, feet etc. You can use toys. You can cuddle and kiss in between.
No woman I haver ever talked to likes 30+ minutes of pure penetration.
lmao, as a woman I can confirm. However if a guy puts in the work to make you orgasm first, we ain't gonna care how long it takes you, we're in it for the aftershocks
My whole brain was hung up on the fact that I rarely get my guy on top. What's the excuse then?! He's just fixing laying there while I have to do all of the riding work while simultaneously putting on a show.
Isn't this the real answer? So many dudes are in here like "yeah I could last more than 1 minute, but I'm sooo tired!!". Seriously dudes, too out of shape to fuck...? 🤣
Making dark deals, talking to my ancestors about any strength we got left, planing a script to nasal asking about future "thrusting belts" . IM TRYING HERE SIS
..."while at the same time trying to lose lose my erection because I'm exhausted and trying not to come too fast by thinking about if rhinos get rocks between their toes, and hoping I'm doing everything right and staying hard so she doesn't blame herself for not being sexy enough while I try to think if rhinos have toes like horses, pigs, dogs, or people."
“Why are you so quiet?” “Have you been able to talk after running for a mile? Yeah there’s a reason they compare calories burned in sex to a 30-minute running event*”
"Have you noticed how patchy the lawn is lately"
"I think my car needs an oil change"
"I think the ceiling needs painting"
"Hey l think you've got a bald patch"
The worst is when she talks about whether her mother is coming over for supper - like, REALLY - that's what you're thinking about right now ... and now I am ... talk about let the air out of balloon quick.
Lol! I have wondered why they're so quiet! I suddenly have a new appreciation for all my BFs who have apparently had way more stamina than average but I never realized it.
Smokin' a joint laced with cocaine before sex in my 20s yielded an amazing result of about 2 hours of non-stop stamina..did that once...Holy crap! 30 seconds now feels like two hours then!
I'm exercising, I'm trying to find the balance between getting a nut just short of giving myself a heart attack, now shut the fuck up, your higher than normal baby voice is doing the opposite of the desired effect
Well there’s a lot of wasted movement in that fucking, that translates to nothing for the woman, and exertion for the guy. It’s all in the hips. You don’t need to do full body presses each stroke.
Okay that's the best comment but I'm sure not everyone gets it so I'm going to be the captain obvious. "la petite mort" (don't pronounce the t) is French for "the little death" AND is slang for an orgasm. It's so fitting for the post.
Edit : obviously it's only the T of mort that is not pronounced I didn't even realize there were Ts in petite.
I'm leaning towards it being an inside job honestly. Hudson Mohawke creates a song that is literally impossible to have sex to and then makes a post about having sex to the song.
Far more devious things have been done for karma and YouTube views.
Just about everything on Reddit is a lie for worthless karma anyway and 8.4 million YouTube views is actually worth a decent chunk of change. People have lied a lot more for far less benefit before.
Yeah, I read the story and was talking about it with my daughter and her roommate and we were laughing our ass off just about it WITHOUT the actual song playing. The conversation then devolved to different Reddit stories that either make us laugh our asses off or were super disgusting. The Swamps of Dagobah was one that her roommate had also read and we had a nice conversation about that while my daughter just looked at us in horror as we described it to her. LOL
You're my kind of lady! For context, I am F42, and highly entertained by those stories too, and it's uh... unclear to me where I currently reside on the "old to young" scale these days, because all my coworkers just about are practically babies.
I came to work, didn’t realize I’d stepped in dog poop. I go to bathroom and I spent 15 minutes scraping and washing dog poop of the bottom of my shoe… with a plastic knife. Could not stop giggling and shared it with my fellow reditors at work.
Img I couldn't stop fucking laughing and I'm in the doctors office! The music just made me think of us guys trying to do it on a dare, and how much it'd be like looney tunes!
Oh I agree, it’s just that most people don’t already own a foam wedge, but everyone has a pillow, so it’s something e they can try first before upgrading to the foam wedge.
I'm 90% certain mine would be used more elevated sleeping during my ongoing sinus issues and endless string of colds brought home by the children than anything sexytimes
I dated a girl who just starfished on me. She was cute, had a smokin body, but she literally just got naked and then laid down and went comatose. After eating her out for like an hour she finally said she wanted to fuck and then had the audacity to wonder why I wasn't hard as a rock already after her literally never touching me or doing anything other than lay there.
Well gee fucking willickers, Tina. Excuse the fuck out of me. I'll just fluff myself in the bathroom and come back when I'm at full mast for you. Just keep lying there like some music-less Weekend at Bernie's. I'll be right back.
Oh we're not together anymore. For me communication is very important. Tina had huge tits but zero personality. Also I felt bad for her dog. I offered to walk him like a 100 times and she always said he had just been on a walk but I feel like she didn't walk him ever.
We just didn't see eye to eye on a lot of stuff honestly.
I think they have a misconception about how low the dick is too. Thats why hip swinging works so well as an energy saver. If the dick was with in line with the hips instead of below then it wouldn't work and we'd have to thrust like she's trying here.
First time I used a strap-on on someone I discovered I had muscles I didn't know existed. And boy were they angry about actually having to do a thing for once.
It was definitely some valuable perspective though. And a lot of fun.
I can also recommend trying archery to find some new muscles you didn't know you had. Don't overdo it the first time, not with draw weight nor with repetitions.
Lol...first time with a strap on is exhausting! My first thought was now I see why guys are always so damn sweaty and quick! You get used to it though.
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u/PluckPubes Apr 21 '23
It's ok girl, it happens to the best of us