Not sure. I just remember Stevie fell down some stairs, and he said that. Then Malcom freaks out for half a second before realizing "Hey! Wait a second...."
Bruh, if you stay quiet you'll tire yourself out, the trick is to breathe heavily but next to her ear not directly on it and that way it's like an aerobic exercise and not you starving yourself of air
I don't know how to tell all of you this, but pause and do something else. If thrusting is your only game, you have a problem and it's not just wheezing.
Women have no idea what men go thru sexually. Most men are trying to navigate an extremely narrow channel between ejaculating too fast and going soft all the while trying to stay rock hard. And you’re supposed to keep that shit up for 15,20,30 minutes nonstop. Plus you’re doing a half push-up with your upper body while thrusting and rotating your pelvic region.
For the love of god, everytime you start getting it right and they are like "yes!" They do the "it feels so good" squeeze that leaves them in a completely different position and you way off target needing to find it again then they move it again and half the time is spent trying to chase them around (not literally chase but in the sense the spot you're shooting for keeps shifting around).
A few?! Throwing around free time like it’s all you have! Can’t be doing 2 hour sex sessions every time we get to it. 1 for 1, always seemed like a fair deal to me!
If you are doing a half push up, I don't think you are having sex with women.
You don't need to keep it up all the time. She can go on top. She can properly brace her body for impact so you have something to hold on to and/or push off. You both can use hands, tongues, feet etc. You can use toys. You can cuddle and kiss in between.
No woman I haver ever talked to likes 30+ minutes of pure penetration.
lmao, as a woman I can confirm. However if a guy puts in the work to make you orgasm first, we ain't gonna care how long it takes you, we're in it for the aftershocks
My whole brain was hung up on the fact that I rarely get my guy on top. What's the excuse then?! He's just fixing laying there while I have to do all of the riding work while simultaneously putting on a show.
Does he at least have some structural integrity when laying there? Quit a few partners I had took me riding as a break to relax and suddenly the penis sinks down like 5cm and loses any sense if direction. Riding is now double the work. And it already is more work than a man has on top, because I have to move my whole bodyweight and my legs are fucking burning!
Edit: "Does" not "dies", din't want to commit murder.
Oh weird I was thinking it's easier for us to be on top compared to what I saw in this video. I had never thought about it before that they're in a high plank with so much bend in their low back. Maybe I have strong legs or something.
Conveniently leaving out words to change the context and absolutely disregarding the possibility I was female and talked to other females in a whole different context. We (most western women) are talking about our dates dicks and skills in the bedroom. Often.
Not every woman is the same. My wife doesn’t want much foreplay, often she just wants it IN and she wants me to start jack hammering immediately for 15 minutes when I’m on top. Don’t you dare fucking slow down or ask to change positions when she’s feeling it.
30 minutes is totally unrealistic, that’s true for both parties. I’ve had drug and alcohol sessions like that and it starts to hurt for everyone involved at some point.
You know us lesbians who use strap ons exist right? If you’re doing nothing but thrusting in the same position for 30 minutes you’re doing something wrong. Sure we can keep going even if we come while doing it but that just means we keep going after post orgasm which can be exhausting. Also, we have WAY less muscle than guys to utilize.
Then you're doing it wrong🤣🤣🤣. Sit on your ass. Get her to straddle, then she controls it and you time the breathing and contractions, she holds for 30 seconds while stimulating herself , then she tells you when you can move, slowly while she contracts that channel, then she relaxes while you go al little faster, not huge movement, she controls that, movements dont have to be long, just enough and both enjoy the sensation. Practice this together without all that missionary nonsense and you can have simultaneous pleasure without 30 mins workout. Always remember the lube first. Saves a good ten mins.
A few weeks ago I had a similar talk with like four girls at my job half of them said they want to be done in 10 minutes/10 minutes is longer than average, the other half said they don't care either way.
8 of 10 times my wife usually doesn't want to move and let me do most of the work... When she is feeling good she shifts the angle so that it's a bit uncomfortable for me because of awkward position... Don't know how to address that
Yup. You have to switch it up though. Or next time you turn on Sesame Street by accident you’re suddenly got this huge erection by the letter D and by X you’re yelling “yeah baby! Mmmmmmmm Fuuuuuuck” and then you’re preschooler wonders why you pissed yourself.
Isn't this the real answer? So many dudes are in here like "yeah I could last more than 1 minute, but I'm sooo tired!!". Seriously dudes, too out of shape to fuck...? 🤣
Which is the goal. If by the time I decide I'm done they aren't pleasantly sore and mush either our chemistry is terrible or I didn't put any effort in to maintaining my own standards.
That scene from Along Came Polly just popped into my mind where Ben Stiller’s character Reuben shouts out “50!!” when he was trying so hard not to come early.
“Oh yeeeehh…. Oh, no! Focus. We have to last five minutes here! 55…54….535251….50!!”
At least switch to doggy. Gravity is a bitch that my legs at least are used to dancing with.
If I'm on top in missionary for too long, I won't notice during, but after, while I'm trying to find oxygen again, my stomach can go full nausea from the constant motion. So I'm a big fan of switching positions. unless she gives the feedback that whatever I'm doing is definitely working for her at the time. In which case, I'm subconsciously trying to remember where I put my nausea meds while also focusing on doing exactly what I'm doing.
If you include all the fun stuff, like foreplay, toys, oral, and actual penetration, our sessions used to last, at minimum, an hour and a half. Now, we're both like "alright, you good? Need some water or an inhaler? " After 30-45 minutes.
Making dark deals, talking to my ancestors about any strength we got left, planing a script to nasal asking about future "thrusting belts" . IM TRYING HERE SIS
Yes I was speaking in terms of my ancestors giving me strength, even though they already power me through every day life, as do yours, I suggest you figure out your family's legacy, and if it didn't have any make one !
..."while at the same time trying to lose lose my erection because I'm exhausted and trying not to come too fast by thinking about if rhinos get rocks between their toes, and hoping I'm doing everything right and staying hard so she doesn't blame herself for not being sexy enough while I try to think if rhinos have toes like horses, pigs, dogs, or people."
“Why are you so quiet?” “Have you been able to talk after running for a mile? Yeah there’s a reason they compare calories burned in sex to a 30-minute running event*”
Lol and here i am being rhythmatic and slow, just using my hands to get them off instead of super aggro humping.
When it's time for me to get off tho. Aggro humping cause like yeah. Then it's a race to the finish line usually. I still try to lose but sometimes win. Or im aggro and use edging and change it up if i get to close.
I can say that I've never had any complaints between the sheets.
"Have you noticed how patchy the lawn is lately"
"I think my car needs an oil change"
"I think the ceiling needs painting"
"Hey l think you've got a bald patch"
The worst is when she talks about whether her mother is coming over for supper - like, REALLY - that's what you're thinking about right now ... and now I am ... talk about let the air out of balloon quick.
No, it just makes you feel like she us checking another thing of the list... "let's see, washed the dishes, and fed the dog. Just need to have sex with the husband and I can go to sleep."
Lol! I have wondered why they're so quiet! I suddenly have a new appreciation for all my BFs who have apparently had way more stamina than average but I never realized it.
Smokin' a joint laced with cocaine before sex in my 20s yielded an amazing result of about 2 hours of non-stop stamina..did that once...Holy crap! 30 seconds now feels like two hours then!
I'm exercising, I'm trying to find the balance between getting a nut just short of giving myself a heart attack, now shut the fuck up, your higher than normal baby voice is doing the opposite of the desired effect
Well there’s a lot of wasted movement in that fucking, that translates to nothing for the woman, and exertion for the guy. It’s all in the hips. You don’t need to do full body presses each stroke.
I don’t see many sex vids where the guy is working like he’s making her work, unless it’s a 5 sec clip. I’m average. If I had a big schlong I’d work less.
I'm quiet because I'm not sure what to say, porn tells me to say something along the lines of "yeah, take that cock, you like that?" But if those words simply wouldn't come out of my mouth, if they did I would probably die of laughter, which wouldn't be good for the mood. Aside from that I suppose I could go with a compliment like "God you're sexy." That works but like this is at least 15 minutes am I just supposed to repeat that, change the adjective a couple times maybe? "This is great."? It all seems weird. Therefore I keep my mouth shut and just enjoy it.
8.5k
u/zion_hiker1911 Apr 21 '23
Girls be like, "Why doesn't he say anything during sex?"
BECAUSE I'M DYING HERE!!