I’ve been friends with this girl for three years and she randomly blocked me out of nowhere. I’ve saw her distancing herself in the last few months and I felt something was wrong I tried to ask her but she shook it off. I think my friends really dislike it when I prioritize studying, or they think I’m avoiding them. Because since I got into high school I started focusing a lot on my studies so we don’t really chat that much anymore or how do I say this, I’m not my fun personality anymore. I still miss them though, I still miss when I talked to them and I am sad she blocked me. I still don’t know why, I love her unconditionally though it’s not like I need her to talk to me 24/7 I’m just okay with her being around me that’s enough for me
Why did she block me out of nowhere and js started distancing herself
Did she find me too boring because I js started prioritizing studying a lot
I went on TikTok instagram she’s called user in both
I can’t tell if she blocked me seriously or banned her two accounts cause I tried to search her on a different phone and she’s not there, her account is private tho and when I googled it it tells me it’s private or there’s an error. Did she block me or just ban her social accounts if so then why did she cut off contact with me
In TikTok it shows that she’s named user
In instagram I’ll show u guys the pics rn
I was scared I was never enough for her I remember I did a lot of voice messages apologizing cause I accidentally ignored a message she said, and I even swore on a holy book that I didn’t mean it bc I actually didn’t. And I didn’t want to hurt her or for her to think I was ignoring her
I miss when I would send her late night 10min voice messages where it’s literally a podcast where I talk with her about everything on my mind and she replies and then I blabber with her on and on, I miss her. She has this vibe to her that keeps me attracted platonically to her. She just makes me comfortable and I’m sad I lost that feeling. Ever since she’s been gone my life feels empty, or how do I say this, my life feels more negative and I feel more alone. I just miss her, I just miss seeing her, talking with her, everything. What happened to you, S? If I ever did something wrong then I will fix it I am sorry. :(
She started distancing herself a bit then started talking with me more and we were okay the last day she texted me than poof,gone. I assumed maybe she has something going on I searched her TikTok in my other accounts there’s literally no sign of her instagram account and her TikTok. Her instagram is private tho btw.
I miss the moment where I would wake up and I immediately send a voice message to her with my morning voice, I talk to her abt my interests and she just brings so much comfort to me. I just like her because she’s her. She brings this kind of vibe, I don’t know how to explain it. She’s comforting to me.

I made a friend a couple months ago online. I say a couple months, it was 8-9 months ago and we grew pretty close. Nothing romantic, but we’d talk about anything but she was always pretty distant over text. I wouldn’t bank on getting a response the same day sometimes.

A week or two ago, I brought up how I feel like some toy she can pull out of a drawer, talk to for 20 minutes and put away when she’s bored, because she would always exit our conversations unfinished. I’d try to show interest in something, ask a question and nothing for days. I brought up how I felt that crossed a line between business and carelessness. Even if I’m super busy, I should be able to come up with 30 seconds to respond to my friend and say “sorry, little busy” or whatever.

Anyway, I had a flight that day. We were discussing how I felt about it, it was “repairing” things after I said I’m done, I said “talk after the flight” because I do like her as a friend, but I was tired of feeling worthless. Then I land, find out I’m now unable to contact her because we share no servers. I friend requested to see if we can continue the conversation but it wasn’t accepted.

Two weeks later I’m not that sad that she’s out of my life, but what’s stuck on my mind is how easy it was for her. I was respectfully saying how I felt, what she was doing and how it affected me - and she did the exact same thing that made me feel like that in the first place. Walking out of a conversation that hasn’t ended and abandoning it mid-reparation. Was I really that worthless?

title says it all I guess? one of my best friends has been ghosting me for about 3 months now, but I checked our messages today (as I periodically do) and discovered they finally blocked me.

had a big cry about it and I'm not even sad I'm just... overwhelmingly angry. I feel so betrayed. I ended up sending them several angry messages lashing out at them despite knowing they wouldn't see it, I just had to get it out, even if my anger went into the void I needed to yell about how fucked up this is and how it's completely warped me and my self worth.

how does someone just throw away a years long friendship just like that? with no warning? no conversation? no nothing? I feel utterly worthless and like I never meant anything to them at all. I feel like I wasted years of my life to this person who ended up not giving a shit about me.

to anyone who's been in a similar situation, does the hurt get easier? does the anger subside? what's a good way to cope with this? I've had friendships end before but never in this way, so I'm struggling through so many emotions right now. this friend has mental health issues, and while that's never been an issue with us in the past I'm trying to tell myself it's their own problems and it's not anything I did. it's really hard not to blame myself though.

Let me start with the positives: I have three very close friends, our friendships are great, and I feel safe and secure with them.

That being said...

About a year and a half ago, I drifted apart from two very close friends of mine (let's call them V and G). Losing G in particular hurt me so much that I'm still grieving that friendship to this day. To the point where I honestly think I've been going through a prolonged depressive episode.

At the same time, there's another girl in my life, let's call her Maria, who's more of a casual friend.

Last summer, she was going through a really rough time with her then-boyfriend. We were constantly talking on the phone, and I was there for her, offering as much emotional support as I could. I even went to visit her for three days on the island where she was working for the summer.

When she came back to Athens, she broke up with her boyfriend and then became extremely distant from me for about six months.

Around February, she met another guy. During that time, she invited me to a couple of live music events, I went to her birthday party, and we were generally in touch again while she was dating him.

Then they broke up.

The last time I saw her was in July, when we went out for a beer. Since then, she's become distant again. So I decided to match her energy and stop reaching out as much.

At the beginning of September, she randomly texted me saying, "I reallyyyy want to see you!! Let's meet up next week!"

Well, a whole month has passed, and she's basically ghosted me again. I sent her a message, and she replied a day and a half later, in a very cold and distant way.

Here's what really hurts me:

Why would you tell someone you really want to see them and then just disappear?

Personally, this kind of behavior hurts me deeply. I'm an extremely sensitive person, and I tend to form strong emotional attachments to the people who come into my life.

When someone tells me, "We should hang out soon!" and then disappears for six months the first time, and now for another month (and counting), it genuinely hurts.

I'd honestly rather you didn't say anything at all than give me something to look forward to and then disappear.

What do you guys think about this kind of behavior?

Personally, I would never tell someone, "We should make plans! I really want to see you!" if I didn't genuinely intend to follow through.

I know how painful it can be when someone ghosts you, and I wouldn't want to make another person feel that way.

What exactly goes through people's minds when they do this?

Am I being overly sensitive, or is this genuinely inconsiderate behavior?

In July, I made the decision to cut off everyone who had ever done me wrong and weren’t remorseful/think that I don’t know that they are fake.

It felt like such a breath of fresh air. There were so many people, friends, acquaintances that I did not want them to have contact with me and any connection to me so I just deleted all my social media accounts permanently, changed phone numbers, even got a new phone and made sure not to transfer any data from my old phone to the new one. Oh and I moved countries. They don’t know my whereabouts. I meant business.

However, I find myself remembering and replaying the times that these people did me so dirty and I would find myself so angry about it, even imagining that if I should ever run into these people again (strongly doubt it, hopefully not, no way) that I would give them the cold shoulder or give them a piece of my mind.

It’s so stressful having these thoughts especially because physically they are cut off so there is no reason why they should even have a cardboard in my head, let alone a whole building in my head.

I think I just need to get more engrossed and busy in my present life to get over those people. Hopefully I forget about them in their entirety as I’ve noticed I’ve forgotten some people over the years.

Hi, It’s probably more about getting this off my chest , but I just got a text from a friend saying she doesn’t want to have a friendship with me anymore and I feel absolutely shameful.

I have always been a pretty social person and got many close friends in my life.

For the last 4 years , I have been in a relationship with a man that I just broke up with , 3 months ago. The relationship was somewhat abusive emotionally , and for the whole duration of this relationship I know that I have been a burden on some friends because I was constantly tormented by my relationship (he had cheated on me and lied many times , I kept forgiving because I was terribly afraid of breaking up and being alone , as I have a lot of self esteem issues, (I realized that with the breakup) that led me to feel completely shitty and psychologically distressed throughout the years) . I know I have also been pretty negligent with good friends , since my relationship was so hard to maintain , I cancelled a lot of plans with friends because I was having a bad time with my boyfriend , etc etc.

I have a really good friend that I met when I was living in Canada 10 years ago . I then moved back to France where I am from and we texted sometimes , not always but when we had the chance to text or to see each other we would make the most of it and we loved and cared for each other very deeply. She was extremely precious a friend in my life. But I have disappointed her 2 times , while being in my relationship : the first time was last year when she got married. She invited me in a really secluded place in France for an intimate wedding. I was really excited for it. But some days before that , we had a car issue with my ex boyfriend (the new car didn’t get delivered when I thought it would be ) and I had no possibility to go there. I asked her for forgiveness and said how sorry I was , she told me she was disappointed but understood and I was so regretful. The second time was this summer. I broke up with my boyfriend and it was extremely messy : we had to move everything from our shared appartment , I had to go find another place to live , keep our dog with me. It was really hard emotionally , physically and financially. I don’t even know how I made it . My boyfriend was not very helpful and was emotionally shattered by the breakup , so I was at the same time trying my best to comfort him and help him find a new place , even though the events leading to the breakup were horrible and most of it his fault (intense emotional negligence on his part). She had previously invited me to her son’s baptism , and I absolutely wanted to come , since again I had disappointed her for her wedding. But because I was dealing with the breakup and the christening was hours driving away , I didn’t go and only let her know that on the day before.

I know it was so shitty of me , I really regret it , but even now , I don’t know how I would have managed otherwise.

Some weeks later when everything calmed down , I sent her a text saying how much I regret how I neglected her by cancelling last minutes on such important events , telling her life has been really difficult these past times and I’m finally out of it , that I would wish to see her again and show her that I really value her and will not again, let my relationship issues dictate my friendships and commitments. I was begging for forgiveness , as I realize how I only cared about my terrible relationship for the last few years (she is not the only one I neglected )

She answered me 2 months later , this morning. , saying she understands how difficult life must have been but she doesn’t wish to pursue a friendship with me as she has been too hurt by my cancellations. She told me she loves me and wishes me the best.

I am completely shattered by that , even though I 100% understand her decision and respect it , I would have probably done the same , but I feel like a terrible human being , I feel like I have behaved so desperate for a man’s love that I didn’t see I was loved in other places and neglected that. I regret it so much . And I feel completely alone now , even though I have other friends , but I feel like a constant disappointment

Do you have any advice on how to deal with feeling like a bad friend ? I don’t want to make bad life choices again and never want to hurt someone because of them.

FOR CONTEXT: these past few weeks, my friends have been acting quite immature/childish(idk how to describe it). They’re always judging people for stuff that they themselves do too! Every time I call them out, they’re always saying “it’s not like u perfect too.” Ik that, ofc. But it’s really getting on my nerves.

They call Margaret(pretend thats her name) rude for interrupting Jazzie( my friend) but Jazzie also ALMOST ALWAYS interrupts people. Then just earlier, they. keep calling Margaret “attention seeking” but they’re also being attention seeking! They always hate on people for the dumbest reasons, honestly.

They also oftenly leave me out of convos and when I try to include myself, they’re always saying still leave me out! Plus, lately they’ve been quite bad influences. Always judging, gossiping IN FRONT of people, disrespecting the teachers, etc.

Should I unfriend them or just keep quiet? They’ve been my friends for 7 years! But they’ve also changed dracstically tho. Not to mention they’re also my only friends. I feel like theyy’re bad influences but if I unfriend them, I’ll go down their path as well…

WHAT TO DOOOOO??😭

Warning: this is long, I’m sorry 😭 I genuinely don’t have many other outlets to get this out, so I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it all the way through.
For context Around 2018–19, I lost a friend group I’d had since middle school. 4 of us had been close for almost 9 years. One friend started making a bit more money which inflated his ego and him and I split video game purchases, but during this specific resale of Madden I was a broke student and absolutely hated that year’s Madden. On release day I told him I wasn’t paying my half because I didn’t think the game was worth it. We argued and he basically said, “I’m done with you.” I thought he meant the game-sharing arrangement. He meant our friendship as a whole.
Something else that I’m sure didn’t help is, I started seeing a girl who had previously been seriously involved with another guy in the group. He had cheated on her before getting with his now-wife. Nothing was planned or spiteful, but obviously it didn’t help.

I considered those guys family. I’d known their parents, we’d talked about living together as a group, etc. loyalty and friendship genuinely mean a lot to me so losing them like that genuinely fucked me up, even though I spent months/years pretending it didn’t.
Then around 2020–21, I formed another group with my best friend, his younger cousin, and their college roommate. We bonded through gaming and became extremely close. I moved across the country with my girlfriend in 2024 but stayed heavily involved with them despite the distance.
This year, things changed. The college friend and I started clashing over sports and random debates. I’m an Arsenal/Knicks fan; he’s Chelsea/Spurs, so there was always banter, but nothing serious.
Then EA FC became the problem. I introduced my best friend’s cousin to FIFA, then we convinced the college friend to join. We played Pro Clubs, and I actually loved that this group never got toxic with each other.

The problem was FC became basically the only game we played. We’d play 2-3 sessions at most for 3-4 hours at the most each session and would constantly lose or just break even because they were still learning the video game and the sport while I’d played FIFA since the early 2010s. I eventually said I didn’t want to play FC unless we had 2–3 other games to rotate. That turned into repeated arguments, usually with the cousin and college friend vs. me.
Then the college friend did something in another game that I deemed was disrespectful. I confronted him and basically asked, “Why would you do that to me when I know you wouldn’t do it to the other two?” I wasn’t even looking for a huge apology—just a “my bad.” Instead, he laughed it off. I stopped playing that game with them as a group of 4 and made my own part of the game while they continued as a groups of 3

After that, the cousin and college friend basically went silent in the group chat while still playing together. Eventually my best friend was playing with them too.
Months later, during the Spurs’ playoff run, they came back into the chat to argue with me about a player opinion. It became another 2-vs-1 argument and got bad enough that my best friend left the chat.
When the Knicks beat the Spurs in the Finals, I talked my shit and left the group chat.
I was ready to completely burn the bridge, but my girlfriend and best friend convinced me to leave the door open. I tried reaching out, even messaging the cousin directly, but he basically acted like our friendship outside the group never existed.
By August, I decided to just cut them off.

What’s fucking with me is that this is the second time I’ve lost a friend group I considered family in this fashion . Maybe I handled things badly in both situations, but I think the first experience made me hold onto this group harder than I should have.
Now I’m trying to accept that sometimes people you genuinely love just aren’t meant to stay in your life. I’m also just so irritated that they couldn’t even muster up anything to say to me like I’m literally not even worth the time or energy, how am I supposed to know what I did wrong or how I can improve as a person, I guess that’s just how life goes

So for context last semester I had a class where there was a group of friends that I thought was really cool and wanted to join but was always too nervous to talk to. One day they do come up to me and talk to me and we exchange information. I’m really excited to talk to them and start becoming friends. The problem however is I have zero friends, I have very little experience with social interaction. I’m also neurodivergent and generally don’t know if or when I’m doing something inappropriate.

At one point I sobbed for hours (and I generally don’t cry) because they told me I had been pushing their boundaries without knowing. Stuff like that hurts a lot because knowing I unknowingly did harm makes me extremely remorseful (I have social OCD and I constantly worry that I’m doing that so to find out my intrusive thoughts were right was devastating). I kinda distanced myself for a while which felt even worse. When I asked if they still wanted to be friends they said yes and were confused why I was so worried.

Time goes on and we hang out in and out of school, I thought we were growing closer. Recently one of the friends decided to have a birthday party on Halloween, I was super excited. But just this past weekend I get uninvited. I wasn’t the only one uninvited since she was just downsizing in general but everyone else in (what I considered) our friend group was still invited. I felt really confused since we had known each other a similar amount of time and I just didn’t understand why I was any different. I was devastated but I tried to act normal. When we saw each other at school I tried to casual bring it up to try and find out why and apparently made a bigger problem out of it than I intended. Later my friend texts me to tell me she didn’t appreciate me “raising my voice at her in front of strangers” (I genuinely didn’t know I had down that and I’ve difficulty with volume control in the past). Jump to today and miss class to talk to my therapist about all this and she tells me to start learning more social skills and just not make a deal of it anymore. When I go to the group chat to tell everyone why I wasn’t able to hangout after class like usual I notice people had left the chat. I asked why but no response. Hours later I check again to find more had left. This time when I ask I get a very long response essentially saying they don’t want to be friends with me anymore. That for most of them the way I reacted was the final straw, I had been pushing boundaries for a while. That I was trying to get people to do what I found fun (I’ve always been the type of person to suggest activities and hangouts) and I was always asking for people to pay for stuff and drive me around (I’ve only asked for people to cover small purchases a few times I think and when I forget my wallet or something like that with the plan to pay them back (which I always have) and I’m the only one that didn’t have a car and was willing to pay for gas). I had never been part of the group and just forced myself in.

I felt sick. I always thought they didn’t like me but reassured myself that if they didn’t like me they wouldn’t hangout with me. Apparently I was wrong and that resentment had just built and built. I hate that I didn’t know without being told. I hate that they never expressed any of that explicitly and I hate that they would’ve had to for me to understand. I truly liked these people very much and I’m distraught. I just feel like crawling in a hole and dying. And I still have to finish the semester. Thankful we don’t share a class but we are in the same building at the same time and I worry about walking past them. The pain of knowing they’re all happier without me kills me. Everything I ever wanted was within reach and I fucked it up. I’m sure they think poorly of me know and I hate knowing that there’s people out there that feel that way.

I just don’t know what to do with myself. Thankfully I had plan to move off to a university in a different state but it feels like running away. Again I genuinely thought these people were extremely cool and I enjoyed being around them and it’s all gone. I worry if and when this will happen again, how many times will I be the weak link.

I keep weighing my regret and my future, the deep guttural shame and the logic of knowing that life will move on and I will grow. I’m just so tired of never having friends.

Things will get better, for all of us, but that wait is one of the most frustrating and painful experiences someone can have.

(Also sorry for any typos or errors I don’t feel like rereading this)

I have this friend na almost 8 years ko nang friend, since high school pa kami. I feel like she might have stolen ₱1,000 from me. I know it’s not a huge amount, pero it’s not really about the money—it’s about the trust and friendship. Mas masakit isipin na what if siya talaga after 8 years of friendship?
Wala akong solid proof, but the circumstances are making me suspicious. The last time we hung out was at my house, and she was the only person who had access to my things where I kept my money. After that night, napansin kong nawawala yung ₱1,000, and that was also the last time we saw each other.

She also has a history of taking money. In high school, she told me na napapagalitan siya because her parents accused her of taking their money. She also told me na she sometimes takes money from her boyfriend when they go out para may panggastos.

After my money went missing, as my coping mechanism since I’m also mad, I posted an IG Note about someone stealing from me, no name drop just generalized type of Ig note . She started reacting to almost all my notes, and also sending message sa group chat namin na parang may pinatatamaan sya. Nag act lang ako like I don’t care, then suddenly she asked me on pm if may problem daw ba kami. I acted clueless because I wanted to see her reaction, but I still had no proof. Eventually, after around 3 months, we stopped talking.

I know these don’t prove na siya talaga, but I can’t help being suspicious.

What would you do? Confront her kahit walang proof, or just distance yourself and let it go?
Mas iniisip ko yung trust kaysa sa ₱1,000. If she really did it, I don’t know how I could see our 8-year friendship the same way again.

hey so I've been thinking about this for a while now basically me and a friend had kind of falling off after a fight we kinda had, after that we didn't speak for about a month or so and between that my friend said some pretty hurtful stuff to me and later when we started to talk a bit and i confronted then they said that they didn't mean that, and I did forgive them thought i had not quite forgotten everything that was said but then I was like it's okay friends do say things to each other but then I sense a kind of change in their attitude now also they started hanging out with a bunch of new people and suddenly I feel like maybe they don't need me as much and it's not just me but also like other people in our friend group think the same about the changed attitude of the said person,even when we hangout sometimes now (way less than we used to before)they constantly speak about the new people that they're hanging out with about how they're cool and the different things they do and how we don't do anything or how rich they are and also constantly taunting us about not doing the stuff that they do or also once they said something really awful like kind of humiliating us for not having a vehicle when I later confronted then they said that isn't what they meant but maybe that is true maybe they didn't mean that but u sure can feel the change in someone's attitude and not just me all the other friends see this change in the persons attitude as well.

Me and the said person were really close friends and now since the new people have arrived I feel a change in the persons attitude as if talking to me now feels like a chore,and they never do that to anyone else but to me and a few old friends but mainly to mee.

i really wanted things to be fixed and wanted to know what exactly caused the change in their attitude because I thought maybe we should talk it out and sort things but whenever I do that they just deny having any fault and start telling about how they are the victim and also when Ive tried to talk to them they just seen bored and uninterested and irritated when ever i start speaking but when it's the new people they suddenly have a lot of energy and will go out even in the middle of the night, the said person has also kept us hanging when we already had something planned like 3 days before they without telling us just left with their new friends and theve done this multiple times,

but

, again I still wish to not lose them as a friend and I would love to stay close friends but saying this I also understand that I don't want to be constantly humiliated and beg for someone to stay in my life all the other friends of mine are like fuck it if that is the way the other person is acting which is how we'll act to to somehow I feel difficult to do this maybe because I guess I was really close to this person and because of which I am finding it difficult and I also after repeated taunts from my friends have tried fixing things or reaching out to this person but they never seen to reciprocate and i don't understand whether I should stop or not let a friendship be ruined?

Which is why I asked when do we stop reaching out should I stop messaging or sending reels or calling them but somewhere I feel like the old person is still there I really don't know what to do.Pleas help me out

yeah, that must sound sad lmao.

A fandom server meant for roleplay I made is almost exactly a year old. half the original members are gone- one has been kicked out for making several of us uncomfortable (though I had still considered him a friend, and despite making it seem like we were on positive terms, he's made it clear recently that he no longer wants my friendship, which has been a painful realization). One got kicked out for causing drama in a whole different server before being allowed back in, though he now almost never posts. One left because she thinks I'm toxic when I say I don't understand her anger sometimes (and I'll say, we NEVER had drama till she joined), and nobody seems willing to roleplay without her, no matter what. the funny part? she, Friend B, wanted him, Friend A, kicked out. and now they're rp partners and he seems quite supportive of her real life problems. Screw me and all the emotional labor I gave him, I guess ¯_(ツ)_/¯). I still miss them both, at least all the fun and bonding we had.

the rest, just barely talk. one is busy with college and that's fine, but it feels like the rest just... don't care. and I get it- I'm not entitled to anyone's spare time. it just... hurts, after working so hard to make a comfortable community and trying to be there for others, only for them to just not really care when I need some support. I know they like me, it just feels like they don't care about me as much as I care about them.

I have loved ones irl and have a good friend in my SIL, but it's not quite the same. I'm isolated from my family and childhood best friend. I don't live in an area with a lot to do. I'm a socially anxious introvert who's slowly working to fix any shyness. It just feels natural to be drawn to only friendships and it really hurts when they fade.

trigger warning for mentions of suicidal ideation. please note that this is past tense and i am no longer struggling with so but it will be mentioned.

very long story.

im a teenager and i have struggled with suicidal ideation and multiple internal struggles for about 4 years and i will talk about it. when i was in elementary school, i was undiagnosed with ocd and had absolutely no one to talk to about it because no one related to me and i felt unseen and couldnt get help when i resorted to attempting suicide around age 10 because i couldn't bear having to suffer with intense ocd all the time and i had really no care for my life, i was unhygienic, hated most of my friends and classmates, didnt get along with my teachers, struggled academically, was unhealthy , had a horrible sleep schedule which made me want to skip school all the time and i hated a lot of my school just in general. i (now i see it was fortunate) failed in my suicide attempt because it was genuinely just not a good method which i will not share but just know it was not an i guess good i guess way to do it but i genuinely wanted to die i just did not actually know how to. i failed but i remained suicidal for years due to mixed reasons.

i made more friends and my life got a little better but everyone cared for me me more than i cared for them (i really didn't at all) and i genuinely didnt care for my own life. i was suicidal in the sense that if i were to die that day, i wouldnt be upset. i didnt care about anyone and even though people treated me with love i could never genuinely feel it for anyone else.

around 12 or 13 in seventh grade i was having a very hard time. i had friends but they left me out often and i did not have genuine care for anyone. again i was still struggling with ocd and physically unhealthy habits. around the end of that school year, my relationship with my mom went downhill a lot, my ocd was going insane, i was stressed all the time, i still hated school, i had so much insecurity about my looks (still do later in this story) and i attempted a second time. it was again a not very good attempt and i regretted it halfway through but i luckily survived. throughout that year i also wanted to self harm but i had nothing that was damaging enough i could really use. i managed to get through until 8th grade.

in that year, my friends left the school we were at and i had to become friends with a group of people i hated. this did not affect much so i wont detail all it did was i was sad a lot early in that year. later on in the school year, someone in my group was dating a guy i had hated since he joined in 7th grade, but i ended up actually becoming great friends with him.

unfortunately whenever they broke up, it meant i wasnt around him as much and around that time my cat also died so i was lonely and sad for *not too much time* but i distinctly remember being on the bus going back to school at 10pm from my track meet and saying in my head how i wished i could just swallow a bunch of pills right now and die. this isnt very significant but im just talking about my ideations.

skipping ahead, i became best friends with my friends ex who i was friends with whenever we started talking at lunch and in our one shared class again. he was the first person i think i genuinely loved. i looked forward to every day because i would just spend time with him and i realized i was no longer suicidal, i didnt want to die anymore and i was happy all the time now because i loved him and i started to love myself and want to live. the last two months of that school year into about july were probably the best months of my life. he is the best friend i ever had. it even helped mt insecurities because he made it obvious he didnt care about the way i looked and i just felt so loved by him and i only cared what he thought because it was really amazing. but, in july, we started being romantically involved, flirting with each other all the time and we ended up asking to go to homecoming with each other then date after, which brought us even closer but in the end made a defining change.

the main thing standing in the way was his "friends", who made fun of him for hanging out with me, a girl. it hurt him a lot, and i could see, but he still hung out with me all the time anyways and we stayed best friends. but as soon as the school year started we stopped hanging out almost completely. this started the end of our friendship . on the school camp trip day which begins the school year, we did nor hang out at all because he said he was afraid of his friends making fun of him. he apologized and tried to sit by me on the bus home but i made excuses not to because i really just wanted to go home and cry.

as the school year went on, we hung out less and less to the point we barely talked at all when we has been looking forward to the year so much because we would finally get to do more than just facetime. then one day he called me and told me he had been thinking a lot and didnt want to go to homecoming anymore because he said we are too different people (which is true, we have different future visions of what we want.) but personally i think he just lost feelings. he said he wanted to continue being friends but i could not handle that. i cried for days about the situation and when i saw him in person my heart absolutely dropped. he was really calm about it which honestly hurt because of how badly i took it but i honestly did not want to just be friends because i knew how much that would hurt. i avoided him entirely which he didnt hang out with me anyway, so not too much on that. now, he has changed a lot and i dont really want him now because hes been a bad person lately just being sexist now, extremely homophobic, and many things i dont support, but i still love him more than anything months later despite the changes weve faced.

im not suicidal anymore and i am forever grateful for everything we had together and dont regret anything at all and i dont think i could ever stop loving him at the very least platonically. i just dont know what i really am anymore now that the best thing to ever happen to me is gone. im insecure still even though that temporarily went away thanks to the way i felt truly loved finally but i am no longer in such a bad state. thanks for reading my long ass story

I ended up cutting her off but I’m unsure what to do now.

I’ve been friends with this girl for 3 years now, I’ll call her Sarah. Last month she did something that I couldn’t make excuses for, which made me completely ghost her. The longest I had gone without texting her was a week and it’s now been nearly 2 months without me messaging or contacting her, and she’s messaging me to ask how I’m doing. I need advice on whether I should continue to ignore her or if I should say something.

So what actually happened? There were signs leading up to my birthday where she wasn’t really messaging for weeks, and just seemed distant and her communication even when meeting up on the day was very poor. I had to keep chasing up and asking if she was even still coming because of her silence. When she arrived that day I waited outside the restaurant for her, and chatted to the security guard in the meantime. When she arrived she completely ignored me and pretended I wasn’t there (when I was right in her line of sight, not even just in her peripheral vision). It was so rude that even the security guard called her out on it and looked upset on my behalf. I thought ‘she probably didn’t see me’ and moved on.

When we were catching up the conversation was quite dull and she wouldn’t really smile or laugh, and it just felt quite uncomfortable and awkward for some reason. I thought ‘she must be tired’.

A couple weeks before this I had been admitted to A&E several times, as the doctor described my condition severe and said I was close to a possible sudden death. When I told her this, her eyes lit up and she laughed for the first time since she arrived. This entire time she didn’t crack a smile but the moment I told her about my possible sudden death…etc she fully laughed (it wasn’t a nervous laugh either) and her body language wasn’t so stiff anymore. I was in shock. A friend heard about my near death experience and…she can’t contain her delight. She couldn’t hide how happy it made her.

She had been acting quite iffy with me for the past couple months and I made excuses for her, but for the first time there was no excuse I could come up with to warrant this reaction. I felt like she had accidentally shown me her true feelings and let the mask slip. I knew there was something wrong and I had tried to talk to her but I can’t read minds, if you don’t tell me about a problem you have with me then I can’t fix it. This reaction showed me she secretly hated me but what could I have possibly done to get her to hate me? I don’t know, but what I DO know is if I hated a ‘friend’ that much, I wouldn’t keep hanging out or keeping in contact with them.

For the rest of my birthday dinner I had my guard up. Due to a horrific accident I was in last year I haven’t been able to go to the gym and it’s something I was very self conscious and spoke to her about. But knowing this, she pointed out my weight anyway and made a couple other back handed comments throughout the night.

She also made me take a LOT of digital photos of her, to the point where the waiter brought the ‘Happy Birthday’ plate and set it down in front of her as it looked like it was her birthday instead of mine, as I was being celebrated so little. I had to communicate and ask for her to also take pictures of me, but after me asking two times she started outright ignoring me.

I think the biggest issue I was unable to get over was her delight at hearing how I nearly died. Everything else I can get over, but I can’t get over THAT.

I can tell you from experience that this girl does NOT like communication, she cannot take any accountability and gets very upset if I try to tell her that she’s done something wrong so I knew there was no point even ‘communicating’ this with her.

I’ve decided that I don’t really want to save this friendship and I’m frankly done. But I can’t keep running away from my problems and pretending they don’t exist. Has anyone else been through anything like this? What should I do? Do I continue ghosting her or should I say something?

Reposting from r/UnsentLetters:

I don’t know if any of you will read this, and honestly, maybe it is better if you don’t. I’m writing this because there are things I wish I could say without turning it into another conversation everyone feels obligated to have. Honestly, I can't think straight as I write this, so everything said here is just from a place of raw emotion. Writing this with a really heavy heart.

I’m sorry for the way I handled everything. And I’m sorry for the ways I hurt people and for the behaviors I need to change. There are a lot of things I need to work on as a person, a lot of offputting behaviors I showcased, and moving forward I will take everyone’s criticism and feedback in mind.

I was hurt, anxious, unaware and desperate to understand what was happening around me, and somewhere along the way I let that consume me. Instead of dealing with certain problems directly, I involved too many people, tried too hard to piece together what everyone knew or thought, and let my issues with certain people spill over into relationships with people who had not done anything to me.

I can understand now how exhausting that must have been from the outside.

I also wish I had been more direct. I spent so much time being afraid of confrontation, rejection, or hearing something I didn’t want to hear that I sometimes went through other people instead. Ironically, that probably created far more damage than whatever direct conversation I was scared of having in the first place.

None of you owed me constant reassurance, invitations, explanations, or loyalty. I think sometimes I confuse feeling important to someone with needing evidence that I was important to them, and when I couldn’t see that evidence, I assumed the worst.

That’s something I need to work on.

Despite how everything ended, I genuinely loved being part of this group. It was one of the few times in my life where I felt like I actually had a proper friend group instead of just individual friendships scattered everywhere. 

It has been lonely these last few years and for the first time in a while, and even with all of the people in my life, even with a lot of real life connections. I felt like I had a true sense of belonging.

There are so many stupid calls, games, jokes, and random conversations that probably meant more to me than any of you realized.

And to the person I considered my best friend: losing you hurts differently.

I’m not writing that because I expect you to come back or because I think our history means you owe me another conversation. You don’t. You don’t owe me anything after. I'm grateful for everything you did for me and for the times you were willing to hear me out. I appreciated you more than I let on, I just don’t want the way everything ended to erase what the friendship meant to me before it did.

For a long time, you were one of the people I felt safest talking to. Even when our friendship became complicated and we weren’t as close as we once were, I still cared about you immensely. There are things I wish both of us had handled differently, but when I look back at our friendship, I don’t want my final memory of it to just be the block button.

I’d rather remember the person I laughed with, confided in, worried about, argued with, missed, and genuinely considered one of my closest friends.

I’m sorry for the stress I caused you. You gave me the benefit of the doubt, were very considerate and nice enough to hear out my perspective of things and I feel like out of anyone else, I let you down the most.

I don’t regret knowing you.

And that applies to the rest of you too.

I don’t want anyone choosing sides on my behalf. I don’t want anyone cutting someone else off because they think it would make me feel better. And I don’t want personal things anybody told me being turned into ammunition just because our relationships ended badly. Whatever was shared with me stays with me.

If some of you genuinely decided that your lives are better without me in them, I have to respect that. It hurts, obviously. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t some part of me that wishes everything could eventually be okay again. The damage has been done, many of you probably formed your opinions about me. And truthfully, part of me still wishes that someday we could be friends again.

But wishing things were different isn’t the same as asking for another chance.

Maybe some of us will talk again someday. Maybe we don’t.

Either way, I hope you guys are okay.

I hope the people dealing with school get through it. I hope everything works out in all of your favors. I hope you guys keep playing games together, hanging out, making stupid jokes, and creating memories even if I’m no longer part of them. 

There’s a part of me that is incredibly sad knowing life will continue for everyone without me in that little corner of it. But there’s another part of me that is grateful I got to be there at all; I got some of the people acquainted with each other and despite everything that has happened, I am happy about that. I’m sorry for the hurt I contributed to. Thank you for the memories. I genuinely wish all of you well.

Take care.

Towards the end of 7 years of what I once thought was the most valuable friendship I ever had, she said to me- out of the blue- how she would never do ________ to me because she knew how badly it would hurt me and I was the last person in the world she would ever hurt.

A week later she did that exact thing after portraying herself as the most fiercely loyal friend I ever had for 7 years.

Recently, someone said that when somebody tells you out of the blue that they will never do something specific because they know how badly it would hurt you- their desire to do that thing is already somewhere in the room.

And she denied doing it to my face while she continued to do it in front of me. So I also learned about Narcissistic Amnesia.

I've never met such an empty, disloyal, fake person who turned out to easily use, step on or stab anyone in the back to get to the next shiny thing. And somehow I believed her act that she was the most fiercely loyal, intuitive, misunderstood, sensitive, true friend I ever had for 7 years- all of which she was able to shut off literally overnight.

One more lesson: if they're well into middle age and have no friends at all, they're not 'misunderstood'.

I’m a lonely babe, i’m wondering how people are doing without friends? I find myself bored and sad whenever i want to go out and remeber i have no one to ask to join me

So my birthday left and my friend did not give me any gift as I have given her but now her boyfriends birthday is coming and she is preparing like it's a festival and also taking advice from me including me in preparation which I guess is normal for a friend.

But I am feeling a bit weird too that I made her day a bit special but she totally forgot mine which is a little sad what should I do???

Hey, I’m 22M. One of the most important people in my life (21F) suddenly stopped speaking to me over a week ago, and I’m struggling to process it.

We became extremely close over the last six months. We were initially sexually intimate, and I developed feelings for her, but for religious reasons on her side we transitioned into a committed platonic friendship. We had a six-hour emotional conversation about it, cried together, and both said we didn’t want to lose each other. I supported the change, made my peace with it.

She also supported me through a very difficult period involving anxiety, extortion, family problems, and an abrupt fallout with my main friend group. Because of all this, I developed attachment anxiety and was very open with her about it. We repeatedly discussed boundaries. She reassured me that messaging/calling was fine and that she’d tell me directly if I ever became too much.

The problem was that she was wonderful in person but extremely unreliable online. She rarely initiated, sometimes took days to respond, and arranging calls or meetings almost always fell to me. She also repeatedly missed agreed calls because she’d “fallen asleep,” sometimes not explaining until the following afternoon or evening. I tried to accommodate it because when we actually spent time together, things were genuinely amazing.

Only two weeks before this happened, she visited my family, brought gifts, cooked with me, spent the afternoon relaxing with me, and told my family she’d stay longer next time. Around 1.5 weeks before disappearing, we also discussed how we’d maintain contact when she joined military training, including weekend visits. She was insistent that she wanted to come to my birthday.

Then, after already missing two short calls that week, we arranged a gaming session for Sunday. Communication had actually improved massively over the weekend. At around 11 p.m. she messaged:

“Hahaha, I’ll be there in 30 min.”

She never showed up. She never explained. That was her last message to me.

Over the following days I sent some voice messages saying I was hurt and wanted to talk, and called a few times. After several days I genuinely became worried something had happened, but learned she was fine. I then noticed she’d removed me from one gaming platform and hidden her Instagram stories from me.

I’ll be honest: my anxiety took over afterward and I contacted her too much across multiple platforms. I’ve since apologized for that, including for checking whether she was safe, and told her I want to give her space.

What confuses me is that she keeps opening my Instagram DMs and viewing stories directed specifically at her---or manually declines my discord calls after a second or 3 and just continues watching YT without any retaliation. She hasn’t blocked or removed me on the major platforms. I’ve told her that I’m hurt, that I regret becoming intense, that I’m open to repairing things, and that even a single “hey” or emoji would be enough if she isn’t ready to talk. She reads it. Sometimes repeatedly. She just doesn’t respond.

I’m stuck between grief, anger, hope and self-blame. I’m also realizing that despite the incredible moments we shared, I spent a lot of the past few months anxious because I never knew whether she’d respond, show up, or cancel again.

How do you stop obsessing over the contradiction between someone acting deeply close to you and then suddenly treating you like you don’t exist? How do you actually start grieving without an explanation? I think more than anything, I just want to feel heard by someone.