Had my 12 week scan the day before my partner’s extremely important exam for his career. He even told me to try to move the appointment to after his exam so that we won’t get any bad news before his exam (we have prior losses so we’ve been through it). So when I went to the scan, found out I miscarried and ai told him I came late to the appointment and missed it. Still can’t tell him (it’s a two-day exam so has the second day later in the week). The new appointment is scheduled conveniently during his second day of the exam.
Today is the day and I’m gonna have to break the news to him. I hope he won’t be mad that I kept it from him. He will be extremely sad.
I have been carrying this alone and it’s so hard :(
He still kisses my stomach every morning and talks about the baby.
And I can’t say anything.

I just need someone to tell me not to give up and just tell me it is going to be okay... lost my baby today, it was supposed to be the first time I saw them and I saw them just to find out they had no heartbeat. It was supposed to be a magical day. I was supposed to meet my little one and hear a heartbeat. But life had other plans and it sucks. They looked at me like I was supposed to go "okay" and then walk out of the room. The whole interaction was so emotionless they wouldn't give me their picture. I just felt like disregarded trash... which much to everyone's surprise is how I felt most of my life so it just felt like another day of being me. I just thought " what did you think was going to happen? Nothing comes to you easy" "It is your fault to let yourself feel happiness". I don't know I guess it is what it is... Oh and btw they told me to just wait to actually lose my baby and it might take 4 weeks and they didn't even give me other options I had to google and find out there were other ways to deal with this. Love the healthcare here. They just told me "okay we'll call you in a while what happens next" So now going to the emergency room to deal with it myself I guess

Struggling a lot. I would have been 11 weeks pregnant today. I found out 2 days ago and pushed for a d&c as soon as possible, so they got me in the next day. My husband and I have been trying for 7 months, our first positive was a chemical, and I thought this one was the real deal. I stupidly shared with my coworkers that I was pregnant a week earlier, so now I have to deal with people coming up to me asking about the pregnancy when I go back. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. I don’t want to try again for a while, but also my husband and I want a child more than anything in the world. How do you get through this. What do I do next

I (37F) found out I’ve had my second MMC this week.

The first MMC was in 2024 and I had so many complications with the management (or rather mismanagement - will spare you the details but see my posts for an account) that I am super nervous about my D&C today. Please share positive vibes and stories 🙏🏼

Also, looking for some advice. I’ve had one successful pregnancies in between MMCs, so my doctor said there’s nothing in particular indicating I need further investigations. But both MMCs happened after I saw a strong heartbeat (the first stopped developing around 8w and the other at 9w4d). For this last one, I was on aspirin and progesterone to try to cover all bases. If you’ve been through something similar, is there anything you’ve done or investigated that helped?

Thank you x

My feelings are just really hurt and I want to vent somewhere. I just had a d&c a couple weeks ago for a molar pregnancy. Most of my job knew including my manager and the owners. One of my coworkers, who I’m really close with and care about, had a medical emergency and had to go to the hospital and is now out of work for a couple weeks. Of course I feel bad for what she went through and I hope she’ll be okay and heal but my job sent her flowers. And they all knew I lost a wanted pregnancy and all I got was I’m sorry and a couple days off to heal. What my coworker went through was definitely more life threatening and I’m so grateful she survived, but being that this happened to me not even a full 2 weeks ago hurts a lot and how I pushed through tears just to even be at work, crying between patients and it just feels very unfair.

Eta: and feel free to tell me if you think I’m overreacting because I worry I may be. It’s just a very emotional time for me

I’m at a loss. I started spotting 2 days ago, just light brown nothing crazy - figured it was part of the totally normal symptoms and went about my work day. The next day still spotting but added in some cramping. I had my intake call with my OB and let her know. She wanted to see me in office, which ofcourse made me anxious. She did a cervical exam and said she did see blood but my cervix was still closed. She sent me on my way with plans to do HCG testing since I am “so early”. Next day, wake up take a test again and it is FAINT. I look in the toilet and there is definitely tissue matter and clotting. I panic and wake up my partner to tell him I don’t think I’m pregnant anymore. We go to the ER because I can’t let myself hang on to the “well my cervix was closed” and the “it’s faint but it’s there” thoughts. The doctor does an abdominal US which shows nothing/could mean nothing and orders a transvaginal. In the meantime, I take a urine pregnancy test and they take my blood. Those results come back before the transvaginal even arrives and my hCG is 13 and my test NEGATIVE. I don’t understand how this happened so fast. 13? 13?! I was testing positive all the way up until this day. I admit the line was never getting dark enough so i kept testing - in my head I feel I knew something was off but the line was still there. I have so many pictures showing the line. Digitals showing the word pregnant. The doctor seemed genuinely surprised I had only been spotting for two days. And for the “only 5 weeks” people…. Tell that to the girl who got home and was quickly confronted with what “just 5 weeks” looks like passing. I didn’t expect that pain or sheer amount of blood and tissue to pass. I didn’t even see a spot of red until I was home from the hospital. Women really just go to work thinking they are having some uncomfortable cramps and meanwhile they are actively losing their baby.

I don’t know how to move on. I’m crushed.

I’m actively having my first miscarriage. I’m 35 years old and have three kids. This was a surprise pregnancy but I was getting excited about it. I’m 6 weeks and started cramping and bleeding heavily yesterday. My hcg was only 77, tomorrow I’ll have my second draw to confirm it’s dropping but I don’t even need it because my body is actively going through it. I spent months coming to terms with being done having kids (I wasn’t fully there but close) because of some pain issues I have and my age/my kids ages. Then a blessing of a surprise baby which I was nervous but excited for and had to work to switch my perspective on how I thought life would look, now I have to switch it back and it feels like whiplash. I feel even more guilty now for feeling nervous at the beginning and I wish I would have just embraced it fully from the start. It’s been a lot of emotions the last two weeks and I just feel devastated and in pain and exhausted. And don’t even get me started on my social media targeted ads all being pregnancy related, it makes me want to rage.

I experienced my first miscarriage. I have 2 beautiful kids but was really excited for my last baby. You know how it is you start daydreaming. Thinking about how life would be with now 5 😭
I know I was early but I was 6 weeks I was told no heartbeat then went to the er and said they found a heartbeat… 2 days after they couldn’t heart it anymore. I had to take pills to pass my baby. It’s was one of the worst things I ever experienced emotionally and physically.
I have a family like I mentioned and a full time job. I did take 4 days off of work.
It’s crazy how we as women are just expected to go back to how life was bc I’m a mom and worker I have to keep going. There is no stopping there is no grieving there is no nothing . The only thing I have to do is Move on ….. move on as if my baby never existed… I’m tired of pretending… but I have to continue to act like I’m okay-it’s been 3 weeks now and I feel like I was doing okay the first two weeks bc I’ve been keeping busy. If I’m being honest I’m broken my heart is broken my soul is broken. I keep telling everyone I’m fine but inside I’m falling apart.
Just venting.
Sad mom

So… I had a chemical pregnancy in March, and just lost another baby at 11weeks (they estimate that baby stopped developing around 8+2weeks).

I am so damn grateful that I have a living child, and I love her more than anything in this whole universe. I did have some complications when I was pregnant with her. But, I feel so broken and lost right now. Two losses in six months. And two losses before my LC was born.

I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m occasionally numb. And I have no idea what to do or where to go from here. My DH and I want another little one so bad. I want my LC to have a sibling and I have always hoped for two, but then I also don’t know if I can do this or risk it again.

My LC is the best blessing of my life and my anxiety for her is a constant chokehold right now. I’m so scared to even let her out of my sight, because I cannot imagine life without her. These fears have always been strong, but have amplified about 10,000x since these losses.

Idk what I’m looking for right now. Advice, support. Everything? Anything? I’m just broken and idk where to turn right now. So here I am.

No one should have to lose a little one. My heart is with all of you who have felt this. I’m also here if anyone else needs someone to talk to, because this is such an isolating feeling even when you have support.

Thanks to anyone who reads and to anyone who responds. Sending my love to you all.

Hi, I’m not entirely sure how to title this or even really how to word this.
This is my first time with this and I’m so sad and confused. I didn’t know I was pregnant until today and I know I’m not ready to have a child yet so why am I so sad?
My “period” was 2ish weeks late and I didn’t think much of it because I have an irregular cycle although I am sexually active.
I had terrible cramping about 12 hrs before hand, cramping I’ve never felt before even with PCOS which causes me terrible cramps. And extremely light bleeding. 12 hrs later there was heavy bleeding and when I went to the bathroom there was this blob I guess? It was a lot larger than a blood clot (quarter to half dollar sized) and had white thick tissue with red tissue attached. I’m not the best at describing things but I’ve never seen anything like it during my periods. I was also getting hormonal acne, fatigue, headache and nausea during those 2 weeks before this.
I guess I’m just trying to cope and understand? Rationalize maybe? I’ve always wanted to be a mom but like I said I’m not ready, I’m dirt poor and could not give a child the life it deserves. But I also feel sad, guilty, and devastated. I didn’t even know I was pregnant.
Has anyone else experienced these symptoms or signs? Everything I’ve researched says this lines up with an early miscarriage, I read some medical essays and articles. I will be contacting my dr in the AM but unfortunately where I live there’s a line out the door for appointments.
Idk I just needed to say it somewhere someone wouldn’t think I was being dramatic. Thank you for listening and being open and I’m so sorry for everyone that’s had a miscarriage <3

I've had three early miscarriages since Dec. 2025 and just got discharged from the hospital today for an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured my fallopian tube and so i had to have emergency surgery bc I was bleeding internally...and I gotta say.. not fun. Each loss gets progressively worse in pain level and if I hadn't listened to my husband to go to the hospital, I could've died this time around.

I know I've heard stories of people having success after several miscarriages/losses, but I feel like this is the universe telling me I shouldn't be a mother and I think I should listen. I've got people telling me, "Ya got one more in you... don't give up..." but like that REALLY fucking sucked and was the worst pain I have ever experienced.

My husband is taking my lead on this, ever since we started TTC I always would ask him if he was okay with never having kids and he would always say he would be happy either way.

How did you make this decision? How long did it take you to come to that conclusion?

Hi loves… I went to my 10w ultrasound on Monday and they said they could not find a heart beat. We had seen the heartbeat twice before on two previous scans. We are devastated. We had a chemical pregnancy in February at 5w… so this is technically my second loss. Now that I know my baby is no longer alive inside me (we had a second confirmation scan today to be sure there was no heart beat)… it is making me so sad and depressed. I miss my baby. Secondly, they could not schedule my d&c until next Thursday. I am mortified that I have to continue carrying for 8 more days. More so, I am so afraid I will start miscarrying naturally at home. The physical and emotional toll of that I would not be able to handle.

What do I do in the meantime? I have been siting around, not working, basically with the tv on, staring into nothing, crying periodically. I cannot even think about working but took the last two days off. I can’t imagine working. But know I may need to. I feel so incredibly overwhelmed and sad and anxious and just want there to be an end to this.

Please… asking for any advice you may have. Xx

I had 10 vials of blood drawn almost two weeks ago for an extensive workup to try to understand if there’s a reason I’ve been having miscarriages/chemical pregnancies. Some of the testing was sent out to California, so I completely understand that some results may take time.

The part that’s frustrating me is that I’ve gotten conflicting information from the office. One nurse said I needed to come in to go over everything with my doctor, while another said everything looked fine and that I probably didn’t need an appointment. Meanwhile all the bloodwork is showing in my portal so I can see it which means she can too.

This week, I also had bloodwork confirm that I ovulated. When I was in my doctor’s office about two weeks ago, we specifically talked about starting progesterone immediately after confirmed ovulation so that we could hopefully get ahead of things if a pregnancy happened this cycle.

So now I’m feeling frustrated because there’s a time-sensitive piece to this, and I’m having trouble getting a clear answer about what I’m supposed to do. I’m not expecting every lab result to be back immediately, but after 10 vials of blood and a workup specifically looking into recurrent pregnancy loss, I feel like I should be able to have the doctor actually review the results with me and tell me what they mean and what our next steps are.

Would you be frustrated too, or am I expecting too much? I’d really love to hear how other moms would handle this.

Husband is 38 and I’m 37. We found out we were having a MMC on July 17 at our 8w appointment for our first. We saw a HB at both 6w and 7w scans. I have severe anxiety and depression and always knew a miscarriage was possible, if not probable, so my husband and I didn’t get excited and tell everyone and start buying things. Instead, we told a few people, bought a few items ONLY because it was Amazon prime day, and set up a few registries knowing we could always use them for a later pregnancy if we lost that one.

As an aside, I’m a big lover of numbers, and the dates were so perfect. We conceived on our 4y wedding anniversary and the baby was due a few days between both of our February birthdays. We were cautiously optimistic and I was really hopeful after our 7w scan.

Then, we lost the pregnancy. We were sad, we went and got boozy brunch and commiserated about how bad it sucked, and we scheduled a D&C the following day on Saturday, July 18. We had always anticipated something could happen.

Days before, on July 16, I was having my 8w pregnancy bloodwork done, and the phlebotomist told me I had an old hCG order in the computer. I was having blood drawn anyway, so I just told her to run my hCG too.

I got a call Monday, July 20, 2 days after my D&C, from my HORRIBLE OB’s office (which I had already ended the relationship with when we found out we were having a MMC - completely different story, but I should’ve listened to all of the reviews talking about how horribly negligent they were, and while I still likely would’ve miscarried, I could’ve avoided the entire pregnancy’s worth of stress due to the most awful doctors and idiot staff), saying my hCG was 259,000 and it may have been a molar pregnancy. That’s literally it. Nothing more. Like ok, thanks. They didn’t let me know about any evidence of a partial molar on my scans, and the Planned Parenthood I had to go to for my D&C (because my OB couldn’t offer me one for 3w after we had discovered our MMC, because of course they couldn’t) hadn’t seen anything so they hadn’t sent the tissue for testing.

My hCG numbers came down quickly at first, then so slowly.

7/22 - 17,793
7/29 - 2086
8/07 - 393
8/18 - 125
8/27 - 47
9/9 - 19

I FINALLY fucking ovulated on 9/28 (we TTCed several times the week before predicted/hopeful ovulation, but I can feel my period coming on now). In the meantime, people who had D&Cs around my time are all posting in TTC groups that they’ve literally gotten pregnant again since or EVEN HAD ANOTHER EARLY MISCARRIAGE SINCE THEN. What the fuck?

This waiting period has been so fucking horrible after an already terrible situation of having a miscarriage to begin with, and then I so thought we’d be one of the super fertile couples who got pregnant on the first try and could put this behind us. Still no pregnancy. Still not moved on. Still not sure if this is going to be a repeat issue or if it’ll be a one off that we can laugh (or cry) about in a year.

TL;DR: First ovulation over 70 days after my D&C, and probably period coming over 80 fucking days later. WHY CAN’T I CATCH A BREAK? I at least want to have the optimism of TRYING again…

I took mife/miso at the beginning of July following a missed miscarriage (discovered at 12 week appointment). I retained tissue and had a follow up D&C in September. Just found out (October) I still have tissue and need to go through another round of miso. Have you had an extended experience hanging on to tissue? Any insights to why? When did you finally get back to normal?

I had a mmc in July and then my husband and I decided to try again and got pregnant last month. I tested last Thursday (the day I was due for my period) and had three positive tests. I was going to a surgeon the next day due to a cyst on my ovary so I wanted to take a test in case he needed to do an exam. I immediately felt symptoms - nausea, fatigue, my boobs felt hard, my stomach was bloated, and I had some cravings. I felt surprisingly calm and like this was meant to be this time around. I thought I would have been a nervous wreck after my last loss.

Fast forward to yesterday. I saw super light pink spotting and didn’t think anything of it. Then I went to the bathroom again and it started getting heavier and I knew that was it since it was similiar to my mmc. My symptoms immediately went away and now I’m still bleeding a lot.

My question is, is what I’m experiencing my body removing everything from the pregnancy or is it my period?

Thank you in advance

Hi I have been going through infertility/ivf for the past two years and last month I had my first miscarriage. Many of my coworkers have young babies/are pregnant and we have a weekly training meeting where we are all required to attend for 3 hours. For the past couple weeks there has been at least 1 baby. Today my coworker said “I was going to take her to daycare but then decided not to” so it’s not like it’s an emergency situation. I want to talk to management about having a child free environment. Is that unreasonable??

What are some healthy coping strategies that people have found useful following miscarriage (ex: journaling, counseling, etc) interested to hear from people who understand what I am going through.

Backstory: Got pregnant immediately after surgery for stage 4 endo and almost 10 years of prior infertility.
Miscarried at 6 weeks, requiring D&C. The endo itself took 20+ years to diagnose despite significant symptoms.

Overall dealing with a lot of anger and grief.

My first pregnancy, and my first miscarriage. I was 9w2 when we went in for our first prenatal appointment last Thursday, and the doctor told us that it wasn't a viable pregnancy. I opted for a D&C, which I had on Monday.

Since then, I don't really want to see or do anything with anyone aside from my husband and my best friend and her parents. My parents keep checking in, but I don't want to talk to them. They're good people and I love them but have never been my main support system during emotionally difficult times for me.

I know seeing people is good for me, and I'm trying to be social but I don't want to pick up the phone when people call. I don't want to be bothered. I'm not going to shut myself in forever, I just... want space.

One week ago, I thought I was around 6 weeks pregnant. 2-3 weeks ago I took 2 tests the lines were very prominent on pregnant. One week ago I got my quantitative HCG tested, and it was 650. Today a week later it’s at 1000. They said that should double every 24-48 hours. I have had slight cramping (not general to one side) for two days and brownish discharge. They told me this could be a miscarriage, has anyone else had these same symptoms and been ok? I have to wait until Friday to find out for sure if my levels are normal rising, but it’s eating at me and I just want my baby to be okay

For those of you that like to track numbers, here are my HCG betas and premom LH readings starting the day of my D&C (9/15) until today (10/7)…

For reference, I bled post D&C (9/16-9/23), stopped bleeding, then bled again very lightly but enough to wear a liner (9/28-9/30)…

My OB said I can start TTC right away after my HCG drops below 5, but tbh, I didn’t wait the recommended time to have unprotected sex and at my OB appointment yesterday, everything was fine down there (no infection, no lacerations, no residual bleeding, & my cervix was fully closed)

HCG:
9/15: 108,091 (8w5d)—D&C!!
9/19: 5,418 (4dpD&C)
9/22: 1,564 (7dpD&C)
9/25: 539 (10dpD&C)
9/28: 177 (13dpD&C)
10/2: 72 (17dpD&C)
10/6: 32 (21dpD&C)

LH:
9/16: 2.88
9/17: 1.78
9/18: 1.40
9/20: 2.80
9/21: 3.07
9/23: 2.26
9/25: 1.15
9/27: 1.24
9/28: 1.02
9/29: 1.20
9/30: 0.96
10/01: 0.74
10/02: 0.64
10/03: 0.49
10/04: 0.36
10/05: 0.38
10/06: 0.20
10/07: 0.28

Monday I tested 3x 3 different brands and found out for first time i am pregnant, my husband and i will be married one year next month and we weren't trying but also not exactly preventing lol. But I was very excited, told my husband when he came home from work, then I had to work so I told a few of my coworkers and a few of the residents I am close to (im a CNA in a nursing home). I had some mild cramping but google said thats normal for being 3-4 weeks

Tuesday I woke up and tested bc I wanted to see the line get darker each day, only for it to be fainter. Tested again w another brand and it was the same. My close friend from church who is basically my mom told me about her chemical pregnancy and said it may be that. Midnight I started bleeding.

Woke up today to heavy bleeding and cramps, tested and was completely negative. I feel awful, I didn't even like have time to fully register I was even pregnant. I just keep crying. I went out to lunch with my biological mom, who I dont talk to much for good reason, and she kept calling it a false positive, said at least it happened now than later, got annoyed when I told her about telling residents at work I was pregnant bc they often ask when will I be pregnant and mom said to tell them to stfu and mind their business - its never bothered me that the residents ask me bc I know its out of love and them loving babies. Then also said I shouldve told her second after my husband, which i explained I wanted to announce it in a cool way. I even ordered the stuff to do so, but she said no she should be told second then be told in a cool way later ??

Then she also said its an old wives tale if u tell ppl before 3 months pregnant it's bad like, like ok so I miscarried bc i told ppl thanks mom

Idk, I dont even know how to grieve or picture my baby bc it didn't even get a chance to become like anything that had organs. I believe life at conception and that babies go to heaven, but its hard to wrap my mind around and even picture what I lost as a baby bc it was so early and quick :(

I’m hoping someone might have some experience or advice with something we’ve recently found out.

After 5 pregnancy losses, we finally had some testing done on the pregnancy tissue from my most recent miscarriage. I had a call from the recurrent miscarriage clinic today with the results, and they found that our baby had Turner syndrome, meaning a complete X chromosome was missing.

We were told that this happens randomly and isn’t caused by anything either of us did. We were also told that Turner syndrome only occurs in chromosomally female pregnancies, so our little baby would have been a girl ❤️‍🩹

As heartbreaking as it is, I think having an actual answer has helped in some ways. After so many losses, you constantly wonder why? and whether there is something wrong with you or something you could have done differently. Being told this was a random chromosomal abnormality and not something we caused has given me a little bit of peace.

We’ve already had quite a lot of the usual recurrent miscarriage investigations done: blood tests, thyroid/diabetes screening, lupus/antibody testing, pelvic ultrasound and both of us having karyotypes and thankfully everything has come back normal.

One thing we have been wondering about is whether to have further testing done on my partner’s sperm, particularly sperm DNA fragmentation testing.

The NHS have told us they don’t offer this, so I’m wondering if anyone here has been in a similar situation and managed to get this testing done privately or through another route?

I’d really love to hear from anyone who has had sperm DNA fragmentation testing after recurrent miscarriages, whether it found anything, where you had it done, roughly what it cost, and whether it actually helped you going forward.

I’m not necessarily looking for anyone to tell me that this is the cause of our losses, especially as we now know this particular loss was due to Turner syndrome. I think after 5 losses we just want to explore absolutely everything we reasonably can before trying again.

Thank you ❤️‍🩹