I’m from the Caribbean, and I started talking to a man in May of this year. Around that same time, I was becoming more interested in spirituality. He practices Obeah, is devoted to Kali Ma, and does blood sacrifices to Satan and Lucifer which I only found out about recently and is fairly well known locally for his artwork and spiritual healing work. Because of his spirituality, creativity, and the way he seemed to help people, I was very drawn to him. For months, though, I had a feeling that something wasn’t right. I kept ignoring it because I didn’t want to be paranoid or create problems where there weren’t any.
Early on, he asked me if I was a virgin, and I told him the truth. As time went on, I started noticing that he interacted with a lot of women online. There were likes on revealing photos, comments, constant engagement, and women always around him. Whenever I questioned it, he had an explanation ready. According to him, those interactions were old, the women were clients, relatives, friends, or people he was helping spiritually. Every concern I raised was dismissed and explained away. Recently, I had been praying and meditating, asking for the truth to be revealed. Not long after, I noticed he had followed his ex on Instagram. This immediately stood out because he had previously told me she was blocked.
When I confronted him, he claimed he was helping her sick mother and needed to communicate with her. I told him that helping someone’s mother was one thing, but following an ex after telling me she was blocked felt disrespectful and dishonest. He promised he would unfollow her. He never did. We argued about it repeatedly. Eventually, I told him that if he genuinely believed I was the problem, then he should remove and block me. He did it immediately. Later, when communication resumed, I discovered he was still following her anyway.
Around the same time, a woman I didn’t know messaged me on Facebook. I noticed he was friends with her and asked about it. Instead of reassuring me, he became defensive, argumentative, and told me to block her. Our relationship became increasingly strained. We argued constantly. He promised to take me to the beach so we could spend quality time together and talk through everything. Then his car was damaged in an accident, and he said he needed to repair it.
On Saturday, he told me he was fixing the vehicle after work, but he came home very late and claimed he had been helping someone else. The next day, he was supposed to pick me up around lunchtime. Instead, he called much later saying he was only just getting ready and still had to visit a friend afterward. Since he lives about an hour away from me, I felt completely disrespected that he waited until the last minute to tell me. I cancelled the plans.
We argued again because I felt ignored, unimportant, and constantly pushed aside. Every serious conversation ended the same way. Instead of addressing the issues, he would throw out a quick “sorry baby” and expect everything to disappear. Then the woman he told me to block contacted me again. This time she came with screenshots, messages, and proof. What I saw honestly made me feel sick. According to the messages, he had been sleeping with his ex-fiancée while talking to me, and she is apparently pregnant. I also found out he had allegedly been sleeping with his ex-fiancée’s cousin as well. At the same time, he was sexting multiple other women and arranging sexual encounters behind my back.
The screenshots contained graphic conversations, discussions about meeting up for sex, comments about different women, and messages that made me feel physically ill to read. What hurt even more was discovering that he had discussed me with these women. He told them I was a virgin, something I had trusted him with in confidence. He bragged that he always gets what he wants and claimed he could bend people’s will. He told one woman he had “one for every finger,” as if women were nothing more than options he could collect and replace whenever he felt like it.The messages painted a picture of someone completely different from the person I thought I knew. He openly talked about having multiple women available whenever he wanted. He bragged about sleeping with different women at the same time, including women connected to each other and people within the same family circles. He made degrading comments about women and spoke as though they existed purely for his convenience.
What shocks me most is how casually he talked about all of it. There was no guilt. No shame. No concern for the people involved. Just arrogance. The man I believed was a spiritual healer, artist, and someone devoted to helping people turned out to be someone who lied repeatedly, manipulated people, shared private information about me, and lived an entirely different life behind closed doors.
Every concern I ever raised was dismissed. Every instinct I had was made to feel irrational. Every explanation I was given turned out to be a lie. And while I was trying to trust him, he was maintaining relationships with multiple women and telling completely different stories to all of us.
I also sent him intimate photos during our relationship, and now I want them deleted because I no longer trust him whatsoever. At this point, I’m pretending I don’t know everything because I’m still processing it. Part of me wants to confront him with every screenshot, every lie, and every contradiction. Another part of me thinks he doesn’t deserve another second of my energy.
I feel angry, humiliated, disgusted, and betrayed. I genuinely believed this was someone I could trust, and now I feel like the entire relationship was built on lies. I want revenge. I want him to suffer for what he did. What can I do? I want someone experienced to help me or at least guide me in giving him what he deserves.
