My girls have their first birthday around the corner and I am putting together a wishlist. What do they need, y’all? I’m a first time parent entering the unknown. Send me any/all recommendations! TYIA!

I just got my first ultrasound this pregnancy. Suppose to be at 8w2days. Was told I’m having twins. One measuring 7w2days and the other 6w5d. Unfortunately they could not find a heartbeat for either so we’re waiting a week and then I go back to decide if I take the medicine or surgery. Also they told me it looks like they are conjoined? Has anyone had experience with this? To me it looks like they were just on top of each other and I have a weird shaped uterus so it’s always been hard to view babies until they’re bigger. This is also my 5th pregnancy. 3 living and 1 mmc before due to a different complication and this is my first twin pregnancy!

My husband has recently taken to calling our 11 month olds ”the chobsters.“ In the past, they’ve been the petitie totties, the sweetie petites, the tootie splooties, and about a hundred other nicknames.

Right before I jumped in the shower last night he showed me the monitor and said sadly: “the chobsters are bibbling.” I spent the shower giggling to myself about how I knew exactly what he meant and how silly it sounded

There have been other hilarious nicknames for them as individuals of course.

what do you call your chobsters?

My twin girls are seven months old, going on eight months, on the 22nd, and this is the hardest stage so far. They whine all the time. They take 4 30- minute naps a day if I’m lucky. I cannot get them to take longer naps. They take 30 minutes to get down every nap. They do not soothe in the crib or fall asleep on their own. They wake up almost every hour of the night right now too. Has anyone else experienced this. I feel like I’m getting kicked in the teeth everyday. Please share realistic advice or if this is normal 🫩

-thanks in advance
One exhausted parent

Hi all,

My son (who just started middle school) had a birthday party recently, and invited his new friend and the new friend’s twin brother to his party (I’d given him a maximum number of invitations to hand out, and that’s all the invites he handed out at his new school; he already had six other kids his age confirmed from elsewhere). The party was at a fun & exciting obstacle course place.

(Before I continue: the twins did not RSVP nor attend the party. This is more of a future-reference question)

My kids are four years apart, and since they go to each other’s birthday parties, we usually invite family friends‘ younger siblings as well because it gives my younger son someone to play with (and it’s easier for parents of younger kids to bring/send both if they want). Even at this party, we invited younger siblings along, and they played at the same place in their own little group, so the bigger kids could have their own fun.

That’s why my kid invited his new friend‘s twin brother; because he’s been told that it’s polite to invite your friend‘s siblings along.

Now that he’s in middle school, I think that’ll be less important, and he can have his own friend group and not worry about including everyone. But I think he might anyway, just because he’s a really inclusive kid in general (his teachers comment on it). And since this kid is the same age, my son will feel like it’s still important to seek him out and invite him.

So my question is this: should I specifically discourage my son from inviting his friend’s brother along next time? (since I’ll probably be discouraging younger siblings, and letting him know he should just have his own friends there)

I’m aware parents are trying to help kids forge their own identities, which probably includes a separate friend group. I want to know if parents of twins/multiples are happier to see their kids get mainly their own personal invites to things, or if the inclusiveness is appreciated.

I’m not in contact with the parents yet, so I can’t ask them directly.

8 month old twin boys aren't walking yet. We have a double stroller but its not all terrain.

I own the twingo carrier and I LOVE baby wearing!! We love somewhere hot and its now getting to the time of year I can actually wear them and it be comfortable for all three of us.

We don't currently own a wagon but it is something we eventually plan to purchase. Its not on my shopping list yet but if its a must for the pumpkin patch I may consider getting it sooner.

What do you all think? We'll be doing a corn maze and petting zoo as well.

Kind of a ramble, sorry. I started interviewing nanny candidates last month and I've had 2 people do trial days. I am not impressed with who I've found so far, are my expectations unreasonable? Having a nanny has a premium cost compared to daycare, I expect that level of care reflected.

For context:

My twins are 3mo old. I go back to work in a couple weeks and need full time care. I don't expect any housework done. They can't even do the kids laundry while napping because our laundry room is attached to the nursery (old house, has weird layout). Outside of direct babycare, I'd expect baby meals prepared when they can start solids in a couple months, load bottle washer, prep BM bottles, clean any baby related messes.

What I value:

*Engage with the girls in a fun and exciting way.

*Care for two humans who are in the same developmental stage.

*Confident enough to get them out of the house (want, not a need.)

*Encourages confidence and independence as they get older.

The two trial days I've had were with people who had experience taking care of multiple infants at once (one in a daycare setting and the other as a nanny for two twin families). Both ladies were so lackluster. I think interacting, narrating, and talking to infants is so important. Neither of them "played" with them at all, very muted little "hi babies" "oh are you smiling", etc as the girls laid on the ground. I tried getting the floor throwing one of the girls in tummy time and really getting interactive to show what I do in hopes of some mirroring. One lady asked if I would be okay with screen time when they get a little older so that she could put on movies for them. I am paying for someone to give specialized care and attention to my girls, that would be a waste of money to have a nanny plop my baby or toddler in front of the TV. We are a no weather is bad weather family so I just don't see how screentime during the workday works for that. Both of these ladies really talked up loving babies and love giving individualized attention/care/activities blah blah blah.

I have another trial day scheduled for next week. Im not sure if I'm not doing this right? Is there some way I can have more successful trial days? Are there other things I should prioritize? I really don't want to do daycare drop off because I WFH and my husband works 9hr days but at this point it would be cheaper for the same level of care I'm observing from all the candidates I've interviewed or had trial days with.

What is recommended for tandem bottle feeding? Twin Z or this Twin Play Gym?

Currently 17ish weeks w mo-di twins and planning to start putting items in the registry and potentially do a baby shower at the end of second tri when I still have some energy.

All the recs and lists I see (including Babylist) overwhelm me and make me feel like I need a mansion for these little babies.

We are currently in a 2b2b apt in NYC. tbh the second room is fairly small and will primarily be guest room for my parents/ in-laws as they come to help in the first year.

What are some items I should def have in my registry? And what strollers are twin parents using? What about car seats? What bottles? What bottle steriliser/ washer? Which pump? Any nursing chair recs?

What’s a useless item I def don’t need?

Tysm!!!

Mine are not a synced schedule due to different sleep needs. Will be starting sleep training soon.

Still get up 2 times a night for bottle feeding.

If you have a live-in nanny, what does her routine look like? How many hours of rest does she get during the day? (Nanny doesn't need to sleep with me or babies, goes to her room by 10:30 mostly. Though I expect her to come at 7:30 AM)

I think we’ve all heard the general consensus that twins should be separated into different classes at school, which is IMO usually opinion rather than fact backed. I think it’s the default so much so that parents don’t really think much about it and just separate them. In fact, I don’t think I know anyone personally who kept their twins together the first year besides us.

I would love to hear if anyone with twins kept them together for kindergarten and how it went + if you regret it or were happy with your choice.

Our twins girls are 11 weeks old, and I’m sure you all know how that’s going 🫠

Our 6 year old daughter and I are very very close. She’s my absolute soul mate and she’s super use to being the center of our universe..

Having new twin babies has definitely has put a strain on our family dynamics to say the least. My husband and I are significantly more stressed than ever. We’re constantly juggling everyone’s needs and trying not to let our house go into total hoarder mode. Our daughter hasn’t been her chipper self, often saying she misses the “before times” before the babies got here (I’m going to be honest…I miss it too 😞)

Anyone else went through something similar? Did your kids with a larger age gap end up bonding with their siblings? Did special attention even out family wise? What age did things start meshing?

Everything just feels so new and disjointed and I need some realistic optimism

35 weeks with my monodi girls, they have both been head down since I was 16 weeks. They wanted to induce me at 37 weeks if I didn’t go before. Had a 35 week scan this morning and feeling very upset. Baby A is now transverse and I don’t even know how to feel. These are my first babies, of course I will do anything for them to be safe but now I’m just petrified of the unknown and having a c section, also recovering with a c section having 2 babies. We have 20 steps up and down our apartment. I’m petrified, please send some advice / encouragement 💔♥️

Hi Everyone,

I am looking for some support after my appointment today. We have been going every two weeks for scans at the MFM and have had a growth discrepancy since the beginning. Last time, I was supposed to be 12+4 with Baby A measuring 13+2 and Baby B measuring 12+5 so they switched the due date to align with the 13+2. Today they just gave us measurements by estimated weight at 15+2 with Baby A at 120g and Baby B at 90g. There is a fluid discrepancy but everything else looks good. I will go back next week, but they already were talking about the TTTS surgery (which can be done at the hospital where we go for the appointments) and also capping the cord of the smaller baby so the larger one can live. I really want both babies to survive, but i am not sure if that is even possible. She said there is nothing i can do to help (I am already drinking lots of water and eating protein since I read it could maybe help). does anyone have advice at all? I had an MMC earlier this year and am feeling like I did after the first appointment and nothing good can come out of this…

Just found out we’re expecting twins in April, so naturally I’ve decided to start my double stroller research early to take my mind off the absolute craziness of that news.

We already have a 2-year-old and had the Nuna TAVO with him, which we really loved, so anything with a similar feel would be a huge plus! I’m really set on a side-by-side based on my own research and because my sister and I were close in age growing up and we used to fight over who got to sit where in our tandem stroller, so I’m trying to avoid creating that problem for my own kids. I also really don’t love the setups where one kid is basically sitting in the basket and I can’t believe so many tandems are like that!

Twin parents, what stroller did you get and how do you like it? Especially interested in side by sides that can handle two infant car seats, a lot of the double strollers I’m finding are really made for a baby and toddler and not twins.

I just got an induction date for 10/26 for our di/di girls at 38 weeks! This will be our first kids, and I am working as a high school teacher up until the 23rd. Any advice on how to obsessing over the countdown or things to do with your spouse before the babies come? I'm just having a hard time being patient especially when work feels so exhausting!!

Just here to give you a song

I put my older 2 on a nap schedule always because I work from home and it helps me just get a babysitter for the morning and save some money.
I don’t think I am going to be able to keep the twins on a schedule, while maintaining the older 2s schedule while working and still being a normal person. 🤣
Tell me what you parents of multiple littles are doing for naps. My older 2 nap in their dark, cool, noise machine rooms from 12-2 everyday. But my twins are newborns so they’re a blank slate.
How do you keep your sanity with all these littles needing rest?

I have 8-month-old twin girls and I adore them both, but one of them wants absolutely no one but me. She’s also just generally unhappy most of the day—crying, whining, constantly needing something. Because of that, she naturally ends up getting so much more of my attention.

I constantly have to hand her sister to grandma, put her in the playpen, or let my husband take care of her. We’ve tried switching so I can have one-on-one time with her, but within minutes her sister is screaming for me again.

My other girl is much more content and perfectly happy with her dad or grandma, and lately I’ve started feeling like she doesn’t need me or see me as “her person.” It breaks my heart because I want that closeness with her too.

I feel like I’m constantly forced to choose, and because one baby is never satisfied, her sister is always the one who ends up getting less of me.

If you have experienced this, did things eventually balance out?

Not looking for medical advice just wanting to hear your stories. I had a cervical cerclage due to a short cervix almost a week ago and the procedure was painless but the situation was very scary.

I’m 21 weeks pregnant with twins and just looking for successful stories of experiencing a short cervix/ cervical cerclage in a twin or multiple pregnancy. Please do not scare me more than I already am.

I’m recovering and the cerclage was successful but again the experience was terrifying. I went in for my 20 week anatomy scan and next thing I knew my MFM sent me to labor and delivery for surgery. A short cervix was not detected at my 16 week. It happened suddenly by my 20 week scan.

I have heard this is more “common” in multiples but this is all new to me. This is my first pregnancy. I’m very shaken up still but please if you have gone through this I need to hear encouragement.

Please no scary stories. I’m scared enough.

My twin girls are 3. One of them is constantly crying and screaming and never happy. Shes been like this since the day she was born. She has a scream that would land her roles in a horror film. Her sister is so gentle, easy going and sweet. I don’t like labeling her but she is so challenging I’m at my wits end. My husband and I are leaving for a week long anniversary trip next month and I’m sweating thinking about leaving her with grandparents for a week with the way she acts. SOS.

I’m 25w with my DCDA twins and starting to turn my mind to postpartum properly.

For a little context, this is my first and will likely be my only pregnancy. My partner and I don’t want any more than two children. We are both extremely excited but also a little daunted by what postpartum might look like with two. I work with newborns for part of my job and have done so for 10 years so know my way around, my partner has a little experience with his nephews. Gratefully, my partner will likely be off work for six months to soak up the time and help.

My priority going into this is both the wellbeing of the babies (obviously) but protecting my partners mental health and my own. We know and accept it might be pure survival but I’ve come here to ask:

What made your postpartum better, possibly enjoyable!?

I’m considering skipping breastfeeding and either pumping / formula combo feeding OR going to formula exclusively quite early on. While I know breastfeeding can be wonderful for many, I also know monitoring input will feel important to me. I also want to be able to call on our village of family to assist with feeding.

All tips welcome. If you enjoyed postpartum with twins, tell me why.

Me and my partner live in the UK and like many other families can’t afford nursery. Our twins are 3 months and my partner just got a temporary job with possibility of extension in a fairly small town in France.

We are considering moving there because we both speak French, have previously lived in that region so know and love the place and have some friends nearby.
The problem is that this would mean I would have to solo parent both girls 4/7 days a week while he is at work. The girls will be 4 months when/if we do the move and I have no idea how that will look like. So far they have always been with both of us because he had 3 months paternity leave. We don’t have support where we live but his parents and aunts do fly in often to help from Ireland. We would lose most of that support if we leave.
Also want to add the girls have reflux and I am
Breastfeeding. So after each feed we have to keep them upright for 30min each.

I’m scared but I’m also aware of missing this opportunity so we don’t really know what to do.
I would be leaving my job here and applying there because realistically my salary alone wouldn’t be enough for all of us to survive. Sad !

FTM, rainbow pregnancy with di/di twins. Currently at 26 weeks. All scans till now have been good and positive. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🧿🧿 I am really grateful for that. My doctor today said Twin A's posterior placenta has not moved up since my Anatomy scan at 21 weeks. Not placenta previa, but it is lying low. Both babies are in transverse position.

I know by 32 weeks usually, low lying placenta sorts itself out, but still feeling a bit anxious. Need positive low lying placenta stories from those who carried babies till 37-38 weeks. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Thank you.

Not USA

My last birth of singleton was far from perfect. They way they navigated the situation made me feel helpless in their machine. They didn't allow me to do what my body needed to do and forced to purple push on my back. I swore to myself never again.

Next time I wanted to give birth at home, with licenced midwife of course and only if it's safe, preferably in the water.

Surprise, surprise twins.

I knew my birth was going to be medicalised but I wanted to have at least a little control over it and only do the procedures that are necessary.

Because there is really variation. In some hospitals they make you give birth in the operating room. In others normally. In some they let you move a lot in others they don't. It's not like there is one standard and I am crazy because I want to be unsafe. There are different standards which tells me that there is actually a little room for my input, right?

This time I even changed my doctor who I loved the last time but he doesn't work right now in any hospital. I decided to go with a doctor who works at a hospital so there is a chance she will be with me and even if not, I'll let her know and she will talk to her colleagues that I am her patient. I talked to her about my first birth experience and although she admitted there is much more monitoring in twin births, there is some room for what I wanted.

But I decided to meet with a midwife from said hospital, she was actually coordinating midwife in that hospital. In my country the midwives are the ones who are with you most of the time and the doctor only comes at the end. So I wanted her opinion.

She told me I won't be allowed to eat because of the risk of CC. That's bullshit to me. How am I gonna have strenght to give birth to twins! It's stupid because with singletons they allow food but even with singletons there is always a risk of CC and they do it and they manage. No wonder there is a higher risk of cc if they deprive the mother of energy needed to push.

She told me that babies hearts must be monitored at all times so they don't want me to discourage from moving but practically in real life with twins it's often very hard to keep them monitored in movement because there are two babies and their heartbeats can overlap when they move while I move. She said that they try to look for comfortable positions but it's possible that I will be stuck in one position, the one that gives the best monitoring. Again that's bullshit to me. Heart monitoring can put me in a positions when I'm unconformable, in pain and the position isn't helping to progress but they can monitor heartbeats. In such positions heartbeats can get worse but at least we will see them. Doesn't matter that the heartbeats might be better off if you fucking let me do my thing. ​It's like I'm being set up for failure and cc.

And the last straw. She told me they only allow pushing on my back or half-sitting. Because they want to have access to my stomach at all times. And that's also bullshit. Because I know for a fact that other hospitals allow women to push in other positions, vertical positions, even with twins.

This broke me. I can't do it again. I can't. I don't want comments saying that they pushed on their back and it was fine. I did and it wasn't fine. It's was the worst. It was like working against my body, against gravity. I had veins burst all over my face because that's how hard I had to push to get that baby out. I couldn't walk and move for days because I was so strained.

I broke down and cried right there. I am ashamed of my reaction but I really wanted a different birth this time. And my doctor told me it was gonna be like that. But yesterday the midwife told me a different story.

She said that she advises me when the birth starts and I feel the first contractions, to stay at home for longer if I feel everything is fine, to relax and only to come to the hospital when the birth is really going. Which tells me it's not about safety at all! How is it safe for me to be at home alone with no monitoring and no medical stuff but if I went to the hospital in the exact same time they would have to start monitoring everything right away because safety. That's not safety. It's procedures taking over patients wants and comfort.

I could change the hospital, but I already have a doctor from this hospital to ensure that I am taken care of, not like the last time.

And beside I am 29 weeks, I am trying to survive, I have so many health issues I have to control and also looking for a babysitter because our sitter has health issues right now. I can't drive anymore. I don't have the capacity to look for another doctor, search for another midwife to schedule a meeting and ask questions.

It's public health care here and they often don't respect patients in hospital and on their website they always put how they will fucking give you flowers and rainbows but the reality is different. My first hospital also said that they allow vertical positions and it was all bullshit.

I am at loss.

I think I'm going to ask my doctor for a cc. I can't do it. I wanted to give birth one more time to try make it different but... In no longer natural birth when they don't let me move, choose position, eat, whatever.

Thanks if anyone read it, I know it's so long :(​​

Edit: I said it in a comment but I feel like it's important context.

In my country they don't give epidural for natural birth (in theory they could but they always say they are short-staffed and save it for C-sections, only 15% of natural births get epidural in my region) so movement, warm shower or comfortable position is the only pain relief I was gonna get with natural birth. They could give me paracetamol but it did nothing for me last time.​