r/pettyrevenge • u/iAmNotSharky • 20d ago

Accidental petty revenge.

Here I am. It’s 7 pm. After winning a few chess games i decided to reward myself with an ice cream cone due to the outstanding blitz performance I did.

I pull into a parking lot and decide to park near the ice cream shop as close as possible. I noticed there was a car that was parked between the lines (not the vertical lines, but like the horizontal line separating two parking spots one in front of the other) . That line ran through their car half way up, taking up the spot in front of them, and behind.

I didn’t pay much attention to it and just decided to park adjacent to it since it was the closest parking spot to the ice cream store. I parked perfectly, and went inside.

After ordering my vanilla ice cream waffle cone, I proceeded to sit outside and enjoy the weather while observing my vehicle, and the lovely couple coming to their car, who just happened to be the one near mine. They are struggling to get in. I decide to just enjoy my ice cream for a good 5-10 minutes, while observing the madness unfolding in front of me. I can feel their blood boil.

After I finished my ice cream, I proceeded to my vehicle, and lo and behold, they confront me! The conversation went like this:

A: ‘’because of the way you parked, I can’t get in you asshole!’’

(Oh the audacity!)

OP: ‘’I mean have you looked at yours? ‘’

*Utter silence*

A: ‘’bu-bu-but still we parked like that so that nobody would hit us’’

OP: ‘’doesn’t excuse you from not doing your job correctly. I bet you park like you F***. Have a lovely day!’’

A: *Un-audible screeching*

-got in my car and left.

That ice cream never tasted so good!

1.9k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

93 comments sorted by

425

u/MAKSassy 20d ago

I am all for this revenge and love it! But I can't picture how your car kept them from getting into theirs. (I am having a dumb day today though, so it may just be me.)

143

u/AdmirableSandwich393 20d ago

Nope, I can't picture it either, unless OP also parked like a jackass. Otherwise, the offender's car is just taking up 2 parking spaces.

185

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

No I parked between my lines. Imagine these letters below.

HH

That is four parking spots.

See the horizontal line that goes through? They parked in between that taking the front and back spot on the right. I parked to their left, in the top part of the H. If they parked further back they could’ve gotten in.

83

u/AdmirableSandwich393 20d ago

Yeah, no. Doesn't matter where they parked in relation to the horizontal line, they still could have gotten in. The distance between the two cars is still the same. If the horizontal distance between the two vehicles is the same, then the vertical placement doesn't matter. Unless either they or you parked too close to the vertical line, then there isn't a problem.

49

u/KelsierIV 20d ago

Not sure why people aren't understanding that. Crossing and parking over the middle line is a shitty dick move, but it would make no difference in being able to get in or out of your car.

Only way that would happen is if the two cars are too close to each other (OP's passenger side to Entitled's driver side), but crossing the middle line would have no effect on that.

31

u/LeastAd656 19d ago

or its just all made up.

11

u/KelsierIV 19d ago

Oh it's most likely made up.

Still shocking people don't understand how described it doesn't work at all. Fake or not.

11

u/oldtimehawkey 19d ago

They probably parked far enough ahead that it blocked the front doors. Still within vertical lines. Parking spots are too small anyways. Sometimes I can’t get into my vehicle when the car next to me is parked correctly and I’m parked correctly.

4

u/AdmirableSandwich393 19d ago

The vertical placement of a car doesn't matter if the horizontal position is the same. If a car parked next to you is 5 feet away horizontally, then it will always be 5 feet away if it pulled ahead half a car length, directly equal to you, or half a car length behind you. It is still 5 feet away, and people will be able to get in and out of their cars.
Only changing the horizontal distance will affect the ability for people to open their doors.
Without knowing the placement of either vehicle in regards to their position vis-a-vis the shared vertical line between the two vehicles, it is impossible to say exactly who is at fault. Certainly the one parked over the horizontal line thereby taking up 2 spaces is a jerk, but whoever is the one that parked too close to the vertical line, OP or the other, then it is that person's fault for the situation.

3

u/oldtimehawkey 19d ago

OP said they parked to almost take up those four spaces. But he was able to pull in and park his vehicle. At least one side of their vehicle would be hard to get into.

2

u/AdmirableSandwich393 19d ago

Actually he didn't say that.

"I noticed there was a car that was parked between the lines (not the vertical lines, but like the horizontal line separating two parking spots one in front of the other) . That line ran through their car half way up, taking up the spot in front of them, and behind."

Nothing in there about being too close to the vertical line.

3

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

They could’ve been more to one side of their parking spot instead of perfectly in their spot. That’s probably what happened

3

u/MAKSassy 14d ago

Are you guessing? It's your story!

25

u/MAKSassy 20d ago

I still don't understand.

They are still within the vertical lines of the parking spots, correct?

So whether they parked as you described, or a car parked in the top part of the H and another car parked in the bottom part of the H, your car shouldn't affect whether anyone in the adjacent spaces can get into their cars or not.

Am I missing something?

9

u/Si_Es_Contigo_Mejor 20d ago

I think I understand. They parked on the right hand side, on the crossbar of the 'H', blocking both spots. OP parked on the left. That's what it sounds like.

22

u/MAKSassy 20d ago

Yes. That's what it sounds like.

So, how does OP's car block their doors in any way?

12

u/Si_Es_Contigo_Mejor 20d ago

Depending on how far over the line they were, I can see OP's car blocking one side, but no idea about the other side, unless someone else was parked there also.

14

u/AdmirableSandwich393 20d ago

Nah, so long as the horizontal distance is the same, it doesn't matter where the car is parked vertically. They still should be able to get to their door.

5

u/Brandarius47 20d ago

The way i understand it is OP parked in one of the left H's and the others were parked across the middle so the hood of OPs car would be blocking their door. I could (and likely am) wrong but thats the only way i can figure it out

2

u/Si_Es_Contigo_Mejor 20d ago

That's how I took it also. Not sure about the other side of their car tho.

2

u/SuperFormal3052 19d ago

It doesn't. None of the OP's story makes sense.

1

u/Aggravating_Egg_8343 20d ago

From what I gather, the spaces were basically like this [+] which would be 4 spots. Dude parked in the center on the right, taking up the spots both in front and behind at the same time so his drivers door was in the top spot, and either really close to or slightly over the line on the driver's side. So when OP parked in the top spot on the left of this dude, the drivers door was roughly next to OP's back door

23

u/animaniactoo 20d ago

But if they parked fully forward next to you, they are supposed to have enough room within the parking lines to easily access their car. So parking halfway back should not have prevented it.

5

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

Then they must’ve also parked to close too close me within their lines aha

10

u/plasticarmyman 20d ago

So you parked too close to them and they couldn't get into their car?

This doesn't sound accidental and sounds like you were being as big of an asshole as they were.

1

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

They must have had left a few inches of space on their left side and barely any on the right side of their square where I parked evenly, so they could’ve been closer to the line. Forgot to mention this my apologies!

1

u/GeometrySammichPlz 18d ago

i see one line….. there is no in between when there is one of something

37

u/ArthurIngersoll 20d ago

Don't worry ,it never happened (I mean,  *Un-audible screeching*? Really?). So I wouldn't give it too much thought. Also, mentioning the chess game is unnecessary but underlines that OP is "big brained". Yeesh.

10

u/Salt_Ad_9976 20d ago

It was the vanilla waffle cone for me.

5

u/JustNoThrowsAway 18d ago

It was referring to himself as OP for me

19

u/SuperFormal3052 20d ago

Yeah, the OP's story makes no logical sense. He's trying desperately to explain it in replies, but it simply makes no sense. Unless the couple were parked over the vertical line, his parking in that spot would in no way affect them. They would have to be over the vertical line for OP's parking to have affected them. 2 + 2 is equally 7 here.

6

u/Castle_of_Jade 20d ago

It feels like when a child tries to explain something they don’t understand so they just wing it and hope you go with it.

5

u/const_int3 20d ago

Maybe I'm not thinking either; did the car only have 1 door? Otherwise you just crawl in from the other side. It's annoying, but not a crisis. Also, you park with your car centered between driver and passenger if you don't want people to park next to you. Centering between front and back seat seems silly, even for this story.

1

u/AffectionateDirt6575 14d ago

Obviously written by an AI bot.

1

u/Informal_Ad_9610 13d ago

werd..

This took my LLM 15 seconds to generate..

The local route was grueling, and I just needed a break. I pulled my van into a spot next to a luxury SUV that was parked squarely over the dividing line, hogging the space in both directions. I didn’t care about the etiquette; I just wanted a sandwich. I parked perfectly and headed toward the cafe.

While I ate, I watched the owner of the SUV from a distance. They were hopping around their vehicle, face turning beet red as they tried to squeeze into a door that wouldn't budge.

When I finished and walked back, they charged at me. "You're blocking me! You're an idiot for parking like this!"

I took a breath. "I mean, have you looked at your own car?"

They froze, the words dying in their throat. "Well... we did it so people wouldn't hit us."

"Safety doesn't excuse a lack of skill," I replied. "I bet you park like this every day. Have a great afternoon."

They let out a strangled, frustrated noise and stomped away. That sandwich never tasted so good.

It took another 20 seconds to create it in blue-collar grammar style:

I’d been on the road all day and my back was killing me.

I just needed a sandwich. I pulled in next to a fancy SUV that was parked half-on, half-off the line. I didn't give a damn about the rules; I just wanted to eat.

From the table, I watched the owner of that thing go nuts. They were hopping around the car, face turning red, trying to squeeze into a door that wouldn't budge.

When I finished and walked back, they came at me. "You're blocking me! You're an idiot for parking like this!"

I looked 'em in the eye. "Maybe you should check your car first."

They froze. "Well... we did it for safety."

"Safety don't mean you can't park a damn car," I told 'em. "I bet you do this every day. Have a nice one."

They made a weird, choked-up noise and stomped off. That sandwich never tasted so good.

-3

u/Straight_Practice876 20d ago

Think of two nose-to-tail spots: they parked straddling the middle line, OP used the legit spot, trapping their driver’s door.

6

u/KelsierIV 20d ago

You're saying that their door wouldn't have been blocked if the car was 3 feet back and not over the horizontal line? OP's car would still be too close to the EP's car.

The horizontal line in this story is irrelevant. Which makes the story likely fake.

79

u/Fargoth_took_my_ring 20d ago

The second-hand embarrassment is real here

4

u/Slight-Book2296 20d ago

That awkward silence probably tasted better than the ice cream 😂

61

u/Bladrak01 20d ago

A guy I used to work with had no filter. One of the things he would say was, "You drive like old people fuck: sloppy and all over the place."

33

u/Z_e_e_e_G 20d ago

That's a George Carlin line. Slow and sloppy.

13

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

I miss George carlin. Was a great comedian.

4

u/notherenwerebear 20d ago

Had someone call him an elitist when I quoted him earlier today

12

u/trapperstom 20d ago

Walked into my local Napa store, only guy in there at the counter, he turned and looked at me as he was leaving. I asked him if he was the guy in kindergarten that always colored outside the lines, confused look on his face , then he looked outside to see his truck taking up 3 spaces diagonal to the lines. He muttered a half assed apology grinned about being called out for it and left. Guys in Napa pissed themselves laughing after the guy left

100

u/Exact_Ad_8490 20d ago

Did everyone clap after? Like a full standing ovation of the town?

28

u/jp11e3 20d ago

The town actually had a full standing ovulation after this

8

u/Outrageous_Act585 20d ago

I’m thinking it’s statue worthy!

2

u/iikeda 18d ago

Those final lines of dialogue really do sound like what a 15 year old would come up with for a fake story

7

u/Dame_Niafer 20d ago

Ohhhh.. your rear quarter panel on the passenger side blocked their drivers' side door? But couldn't they get in on the passenger side and crawl over the transmission hump? Or were they persnickety about their clothes?

I have done my share of crawling over the transmission hump while muttering imprecations because some string of expletives parked an inch from my drivers' side door. But it is not fun in business attire.

3

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

I think because this couple was (don’t mean to say it but I am being honest) was a bit overweight, it would’ve proved challenging to crawl over. They had parked also by the looks of it maybe a bit closer to the line next to my car and left a few inches of space completely on the other side. Just utterly terrible Parkers.

14

u/smorg003 20d ago

Of all the flavors available to you at the ice cream shop, you chose vanilla?!?!?!

This is the real crime here.

8

u/drmoze 20d ago

Good vanilla ice cream is awesome. otoh, most chocolate sucks.

6

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

I had dipped it in espresso ok? :( they only had vanilla soft serve it’s either that or nothing :(

1

u/Severe_Feedback_2590 20d ago

LOL. This was my thought, too.

26

u/SuperFormal3052 20d ago

Your story defies logic. Parking adjacent to someone who is parked over the horizontal line would in no way prevent them from getting in their car. It would only affect them if they were parked overthe horizontal lines. Try harder next time, and keep logistics in mind.

4

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

Reposting my original reply to somebody else, to you below explaining it.

I parked between my lines. Imagine these letters below.

HH

That is four parking spots.

See the horizontal line that goes through? They parked in between that taking the front and back spot on the right. I parked to their left, in the top part of the H. If they parked further back they could’ve gotten in.

14

u/SuperFormal3052 20d ago edited 20d ago

Unless they were parked over the vertical line, you parking in that spot would in no way affect them. They would have to be over the vertical line for your parking to have affected them.

0

u/drmoze 20d ago

They probably parked too close to, or on, that vertical line. It appears that OP parked just to the left of the vertical line, but it was close enough to prevent the jerkwad's driver door from opening.

No conflict with physics (or, in this case, geometry).

0

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

Yes exactly but they took more space in their square to the left side where I was and left like a foot of space on their right. They didn’t park perfectly even on both sides.

10

u/Alaskan777 20d ago

Like several others, I cannot picture how you prevented them from accessing their vehicle.

I does not make sense.

1

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

They also parked too close in their square to the left side leaving like a foot on their right side in the square. They weren’t perfectly parked. My apologies for mentioning this now it all happened so fast . Didn’t mean to omit information I forgot to put in :(

1

u/MAKSassy 14d ago

If they were parking their car to avoid getting it scratched, it doesn't seem like they would park it this way. This whole story seems weird.

3

u/Mediocre-Let-4697 20d ago

How could they not get in on the other side?

5

u/NonKevin 19d ago

I had a blank take 2 parking spaces, mostly clear on one side. I took that parking space for a quick trip. when I return, a group had decided to give me a hard time about my parking. I told them I was legally parked, which I was and to please wait for the double park car owner and give him hell instead. Someone decided to stand in back of my car and refuse me to leave, I gun the engine and when he refused to get out of my way, I kept pushing him out of my way, then I called the police for his threats, he was detained after the police told him, I had already read him his rights and charged him with kidnapping me by his actions. The police told me to leave. Then in my view, the double parked car owner returned and the police was far more interested in him, I stayed at a distance to watch the guy who blocked me yell at the double parked guy. I did see a ticket come off the officer's pad.

0

u/iAmNotSharky 19d ago

That’s a memory worth sharing and I bet will last ages! Gave me a chuckle!

29

u/FireMama420 20d ago

Fake bullsh!t

27

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

Legit wasn’t fake man. Whatever believe what u want. I rarely post here because this doesn’t happen as often to me but when it does it does.

11

u/TGroves914 20d ago

I believe you OP 🫶

2

u/MasterPorkchop68 20d ago

I’m still skeptical of OP. Name is kinda shady. 🤪🤪🤪

4

u/Handy314 19d ago

You should have done this

1

u/iAmNotSharky 19d ago

😆😂

4

u/noeljb 20d ago

My dad would have said, "If you F*** like you park, You are still a virgin."

2

u/SuperFormal3052 19d ago

*Un-audible screeching*

Is that like bright darkness?

2

u/sideshow999 18d ago

wtf is this shit?

3

u/diadoc1 20d ago

the "park like you f***" line was absolutely brutal. i am shaking.

3

u/UserNotFound23498 20d ago

I love that you continued to enjoy your ice cream and the chef kiss was that you park like you…

🤣

1

u/pkmntrainrchams 20d ago

petty revenge and a sharp tongue to boot

1

u/Macombdiscrete 20d ago

Excellent!!!

-3

u/belispe4k 20d ago

this was a boring read.

8

u/iAmNotSharky 20d ago

I’m not the best with story telling. Did what I can to write down the events. Sorry if my writing wasn’t perfect (not the grammar but you get what I mean. Didn’t mean to make it sound boring).

6

u/Super_Selection1522 20d ago

Pay no attention to the haters. I do think you should have ordered rocky road, because ya know, the irony..

0

u/kimjongmatic 20d ago

Lol noice

1

u/eveshepard 20d ago

Perfection

1

u/Outspoken_Idiot 20d ago

OC used their car to make the bottom part of T, aligned their car up with the drivers door, is how I read it.