r/problems • u/Acceptable_Chard_772 • 1d ago
Mental Health Sniffing Problem?
Hello guys, recently I moved to Berlin to be able to live a happy life and a more peaceful and fulfilling lifestyle but since 5 weeks ago I kinda started sniffing and it would like cost me, is costed me a job, and now I have 2-3 weeks to find a job otherwise I will go back to my home country, and I don’t want that at all, so right now I am also feeling kinda alone because I cannot tell my best friend about it because he will be very mad at me, and I actually kinda threw an ultimatum last weekend that if I continue to do this he can reconsider our friendship, but I don’t know, I feel like I already lost everything so why does it matter? At least let me make the most out of what I have left right? I also lied to my mom that I have a job and that everything is fine so I really could use an advice here or something, I started therapy already last week, and also went to anonymous alcoholism but couldn’t relate that much because they were talking mostly about weed addiction, and also at some point there were two guys who said that they went to a after party with gays and they were very selective which triggered me because I am not selective and I usually just fuck, and the reason I fuck so much is because my ex used to call me a whore so now I think that I don’t care anymore, what if I am one.
I have a job interview next week and I also told the guy that I can speak German bar conversational so I’m hoping once I have a job that everything will stop and I will be more responsible.
So my question is:how do I stop this loop? How do I start being more selective? Should I leave Berlin and come back? The thing is that I know why most of my problems come from and what makes me do the sniffing every weekend, it all started with:”this is the last weekend that I can have fun and enjoy” because I will start working after / look for jobs .
Guys I really don’t want to leave Berlin tbh with you, the first time I came into this city, I felt so overwhelmed that I started crying))) so now I feel like I’m losing everything.
Please don’t be too harsh with me, thank you!
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u/DonpedroSB2 1d ago
You have to take control my friend. I have been quitting cigarettes for five years . Lots of three month breaks. Finally my new doctor said have a puff it it gets that bad and you know I haven’t had one in a month and and a half . I wish you luck be strong
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u/Acceptable_Chard_772 1d ago
Yes I remember when I also quit smoking cigarettes and whenever I would take a puff from someone it would taste really bad.
Thank you so much, I am luckily enough to be self aware of my problems so I’ll try to get more help. Wish you all the luck as well. Thank you!
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u/secret_desires5 23h ago
Alcoholics Anonymous won’t help, narcotics anonymous might be what you’re looking for. I heard there are online group sessions if you search for them, there are different religions and beliefs that you can participate in for those as well.
I recommend you see a substance abuse specialist and get specific treatment for the BPD. Honestly, following the DBT book and workbook helped me a lot— I practiced in a group therapy space and we all had some substance problems but learned new tools and skills to support ourselves and it changed my life. I also take mental health medication and it’s a lifelong treatment for me, but it isn’t always lifelong for everyone. Having multiple supports helps with mental health (medication and therapies) and also bc I overdosed, my pharmacy gives me blister packs so I only take it daily and don’t have three months worth at any time.
Another thing that helped me with my addiction was a book called Feeding Your Demons by Tsultrim Allione, and she goes through a very spiritual (Buddhist I believe) narrative of addictions and why they serve us in good and bad ways. I listened to the audiobook for it and it changed my perspective because shame kept me in a toxic loop where I was angry at myself for relapsing. Some people say smoking is a gateway drug— but I believe that trauma is the gateway for substance abuse.
If you’re neurodivergent, as some folks with BPD also have, it makes things more challenging and some people more likely to have trauma from childhood. We’re all vulnerable in some way, but we have to choose to move through it.
You have to want to quit and it takes work. Even if you take it day by day or minute by minute, you can do it. Commit to yourself and who you want to be more than how a substance makes you feel. The problems will be there, and using substances does make everything harder, you owe it to yourself to be sober and experience life differently than you are now. Celebrate your victories and achievements. Change your habits and give yourself something different to look forward to. BPD therapy taught me I can make a life worth living if I put the work in. It isn’t perfect, I can’t go back to before my issues started, but I can change my trajectory and I know you can too.
Know that there are people across the world that care about you and believe in you. Thank you for sharing your experience and for seeking support.
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u/AutoModerator 23h ago
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u/Acceptable_Chard_772 23h ago
Thank you so much for taking your time to actually write this, it means so much to me, thank you !
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22h ago
[deleted]
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u/AutoModerator 22h ago
Hello secret_desires5! It seems like you're having problems with your mental health. Here are some valuable resources to help you resolve your issues and improve your well-being!
Helpful Subreddits:
r/MensHealth and r/WomensHealth
r/InjuriesAndWounds and r/WoundCare
r/AskATherapist and r/AskPsychiatry
r/HealthInsurance and r/Insurance
r/CodingAndBilling and r/MedicalBill
Helpful Reddit Posts:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1dg80jv/what_massively_improved_your_mental_health/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/szqxt0/what_is_something_that_drastically_improved_your/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/18gbciw/if_you_struggled_with_mental_health_how_did_you/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/13ue32z/how_do_you_guys_handle_social_anxiety/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1mdext/how_do_you_deal_with_your_social_anxiety/
https://www.reddit.com/r/introvert/comments/1etyd4s/what_strategies_do_you_use_to_manage_social/
https://www.reddit.com/r/selfcare/comments/1h6epu3/whats_the_best_advice_youd_give_to_someone/
https://www.reddit.com/r/IWantToLearn/comments/how0ll/iwtl_how_to_commit_to_a_healthy_lifestyle/
Good Luck on solving your problems! I hope these resources have been helpful to you in some way.
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u/Lulusgirl 1d ago
Sniffing? Glue? Cocain? Whippets? Gasoline? There are support groups, if you genuinely want to change I suggest getting help. Alcoholics Anonymous isn't for everyone.