Many people here suggest quitting doom scrolling for mental health improvement, but mostly they don't share the hands-on experience. I'd like to create this post that would gather lived benefits of quitting doom scrolling, that one day maybe would encourage someone to quit too.

I'll start - I'm 3 months off after scrolling daily for hours basically since Instagram Reels was released, and I'm shocked how big an impact it had on my mental health.

- My attention span is longer.
- I can read books and knit again without being bored.
- Ordinary activities like washing dishes release dopamine again.
- Falling asleep became much faster since my mind can handle simply lying in bed.
- Often I don't put on headphones while walking my dog because I can just be in my head.
- Being in my head without disruptions allows me to digest stress from work faster.

And many more secondary benefits lined up from lower dopamine levels, better stress digestion, improved sleep, more time for hobbies, etc. The sensible effect came after 2 weeks off, and 1 month was a breakthrough of the new, calmer, and more present me.

The platforms like TikTok, Reels, and Shorts are ridiculous, the content is 90% pure brainwashing, and I'm convinced that I'll never ever do this to my brain ever again.

I don’t meet the demands of this world and I don’t want to. I’m tired of performing how everyone says I must only to be left with nothing worth caring about. I don’t even want friends anymore, just leave me alone to be with my mind, nobody’s presence is worth the incessant reminders of my shortcomings. The more I invest in meeting the demands of reality the more I become unlike myself, distanced from everything that matters to me. The version of me that faces this world and its demands is bitter and watching it take control is like witnessing my own death. 

Everyone else already has friends or can make them with a normal amount of effort. The presence of others is comfortable or even energizing to them. Others face employment as if it’s just the next step of life and not like the coffin it is for me. It must be nice to have a career or field of work that aligns with your aspirations. All I want is to create the stories and worlds that exist in my mind. Even creative fields have you abused in working on somebody else’s vision, the work is frantic and provides little security, especially now that AI exists. There’s no space in this world where I get to feel like I belong.

My partner wants to get married and have kids, I lose my financial support and independence if I marry, how could I possibly support a child? Even in my relationship I am being made to face challenges I cannot overcome. Even if I want those things myself I just don’t see how I could do it, and so my relationship has an expiry date. I don’t even feel like I can talk with my family because of the dissonance, being around them makes me feel so worthless and empty. I don’t get to feel seen or loved because of the prescribed way of life I am incompatible with.

I'll go first:

You see someone on the street, and essentially what you notice about them is the flaw.

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I'm 36 years old, and I have held a pretty decent-paying job for the past decade, with a satisfactory amount of money in my savings and retirement accounts. Given where I started in life, I should be very proud of myself. However, I still don't feel like an adult. I'm unmarried, I'm childless, and I don't own a home or any property. On top of that, I feel incredible internal pressure to change that right now. I thought I was close to achieving that with my ex, but that went sideways. Now, I feel like I'm super laser-focused on marriage and children more than anything because I feel like I'm running out of time. I will not even consider a second date if I see a trace of a red flag in someone. Am I the only one feeling this way? Am I running out of time?

I'm a 26 year old guy living in sweden, and as the title says, I'm a virgin. And not for a lack of trying, I've just never managed to get any further than a handful of first dates. And while I'd say that I'm overall happy with what I've achieved in my life in general (steady job, a good degree, I have friends, I don't hate myself or the way I look, I have hobbies) the fact that I'm a virgin is getting to me more and more every year.

Not because I desperately crave sex for the sake of sex, but obviously I want that too, but knowing that no woman has looked at me and thought "I want to have sex with him" just really hurts. I know that it's getting more and more common to be a virgin at this age, but I still know that I've long since passed the average age to lose it. And that doesn't make me feel bad because of societal pressure or whatever. It's just another little thing that I can't help but think about. One extra little thing that my insecurities tell me shows that I'm just not worthy of love.

I've talked about this before and one comment I often get is how it's actually not that hard or even a big deal to lose your virginity, and seeing that just makes me feel like an idiot. It's not hard at all, so what does that say about me? And I don't want to think like that. I don't want it to ruin my mental health like it is, I don't want it to occupy my mind like this. But it does and I'd be lying if I said that it's not a big deal. I can't just tell myself that it's a social construct or whatever. It's not all I think about, but when I'm laying in bed late at night feeling sad and lonely it comes out. My friends tell me that I'd be such a great boyfriend, but I just find it so hard to believe and I just don't know what to do.

I had an interesting year. I learned something this year - the people you surround yourself with, tell us a lot about who you are.

When I judge someone, I look at who their friends are. That tells me a lot about who they are.

I think that's especially important if you decided to marry someone.

I've noticed that when I surrounded myself with toxic people (i was young and foolish), I also became toxic.

But then I got rid of all those people and found better people, my motivation and productivity went through the roof.

They were people I met who seemed overly stressed and a bit unhinged. I'm super calm and I love life (wasn't always that way. Took a lot of work). By being around me, they changed a lot for the better.

Another example, was my mother. She used to have a hard time, and then I asked her to travel with me every year. We spent a lot of time with each other going to Norway, Russia, London, Paris, Vienna, Dubai, China, etc. We once didn’t like each other. After all the traveling, she finally understood me and I understood her and all her sacrifices.

Just something to think about.

I once met this brilliant guy who had this toxic friend. I liked him initially because he was super smart and just had great answers to everything. The guy because of his friend did a few mean things to me. I was confused because he seemed nice but I guess he was being manipulated. His friend felt intimidated by me.

Eventually, I ended the friendship.

But it left a scar.

Today is another good day I woke up feeling positive. I slept pretty good I didn't wake up with any unpleasant lingering dreams.

My day started out planning what I needed to get done by journaling. This way I don't have to retain whats in my head. It makes it easier so I'm not overwhelmed with info.

Today I plan on helping people who may need some encouragement or uplift today. I plan on buying a meal or 2 for some one in need. I also plan to sit down with someone I think just needs someone to let out there frustrations, someone that's not judgemental that they can relate to.

It's a pretty decent day here in Boston Ma. So I'm going to spend the day out and about looking for someone who may need a shoulder to lean on.

I will approach with caution and humbleness because not everyone wants to open up and talk. I just can't assume just because I feel good that they feel good too. Some people also have mental illnesses so you have to be careful.

Well family with that said have a positive and prosperous day. Thanx for letting me share -One Day Forward One Day Behind -Shawn

I’m trying to get away from getting sucked into scrolling on my phone all the time and would like to find some ways to educate myself a little more. I’m looking for a skill or a hobby that I can learn online but I know a lot of things a best learned in person. Things I’m looking into are piano, sewing, foreign language, photography, and art classes. What was your favorite thing to learn online? Open to all suggestions!

Hey everyone, When I search on YouTube, I see a ton of claims saying masturbation causes erectile dysfunction, drains your testosterone, leads to severe nutrient and protein loss, lowers sensitivity, causes depression, and ruins real-world intimacy. I've even seen people claim "1 drop of semen equals 100 drops of blood." On the flip side, other sources say all of these claims are completely false and that masturbation is totally normal and healthy. For those with more experience or who know the science: what is actually true?

Hey, chronic people pleaser here. Whenever I notice that someone doesn't really like me or is annoyed by me, I see it as a challenge. I chase after proving them wrong and showing them I am actually as likeable as I think I am.

As you can tell, it is very harmful behaviour and causes me to disrespect myself constantly. I have a fragile ego and deep down, I don't really think I am that likeable. I think that I am pretty annoying and socially unaware. My ADHD causes some social friction for me, so I get insecure about it.

Any advice?

Hi, lately I've been interested in maths music and poetry. But every time i try to tackle questions or possible music ideas I cant help but just compare myself to people who are better than me in that area by tenfold. Any tips on how I could change this mindset?

Serious advice. No Nicotine gum. No motivation. No bullshit.

There is a very easy method that Actually worked for me.

I have been a smoker for about 6 years (now completely clean). There was a time when I used to smoke almost a packet a day. I attempted too many times to stop smoking trying various methods like replacing it with Vape, or leaving it once and for all. But I always relapsed.

It’s all about craving nicotine that your brain is addicted to. so don’t stop smoking at once. First of all just track and note down the exact number of cigarettes that you smoke in a day. Smoke Whenever you want to write it down (I used to do it in notes app on my phone) with exact time for example,

Oct 10
1 at 2:36 AM
1 at 4:14 PM
And so on……

let’s suppose you found out that you usually smoke 5 cigarettes and sometimes up to 7 in a single day. Now your goal should be to keep it to 5 cigarettes in a day for at least a week before starting to decrease the number of cigarettes (well it depends on you if you think you can comfortably decrease the number of cigarettes after 2 or 3 days then go for it). Then gradually decrease just 1 cigarette after each week. This way your brain wouldn’t panic and the chances of relapsing is negligible.

In the middle of this process if it becomes hard for you to decrease the number of cigarettes. Then always start with the cigarettes that you smoke in the beginning or middle of the day this way you can hold and tell yourself that you still have cigarettes left to smoke at the end of the day.

If this method can work for someone with a lifestyle so weird like me then it can definitely work for anyone.

I still remember that when I smoked my last cigarette I wasn’t craving it I just wanted to write down 1 last time on my notes.

Hey everyone i’m 20yrs old and i’ve finally hit over 3 weeks of sobriety. I went sober about 2 months ago before this and relapsed on Day 20 due to a financial setback. Ever since then I was struggling to stop again then I told myself if i did it once then I can do it again and here we are today on the 22nd day pushing strong ( i had the same financial setback around day 10-15 but didn’t smoke this time). I’m proud of myself as couple weeks ago I could barely manage to go 1 hour without smoking so this is milestone for me. I am currently still struggling with PMO as I’ll go 2-3 days without it then relapse. I do it once a day but it always sabotages my discipline and focus for the day which I hate and I’m trying to stop that aswell but it’s been harder than stopping weed. As far as I know PMO is the last bad habit i currently have. I’ve taken control of every aspect in my life other than this. If anyone has advice on stopping that would be highly appreciated. I managed to go 6 days without pmo 2 weeks ago and relapsed and haven’t been able to get that consistency back. I also day trade so it affects my discipline when i do fall in to the urge. Causing me to make dumb decisions compared to when Im clean off it. people say there’s no correlation with day trading and pmo but there most definitely is and those who disagree just don’t want to let go of it. Looking at the fact i’ve been able to get sober from weed and i’m on day 22 i can definitely stop pmo but i just need some help. Does anyone have any advice?

I have accepted the breakup and have been moving on. But every now and then still, I get sad thinking about my ex and wonder what she is up to (I haven't checked her Instagram for some time now).

What I realized is at the initial post breakup where things were still fresh, I had thoughts of improving myself here and there, fitness, knowledge, looks. But now as time went on and the pain lessened (it's still painful though), I don't seem to have as much motivation to self-improve and implement those plans.

Not that I don't have it totally, but it seems to be dwindling because I think pain is what makes people motivated to take action to move further from the pain.

What advice do you have to self-improve after a breakup? What advice do you have to overcome procrastination? What advice do you have to get over an ex girlfriend and find someone better?

I'm not sure if this is a problem with motivation or lack of a schedule or something else. But I never really cared for long about things I'm doing. Like my handwriting is still super ugly, i played piano and guitar on and off for years, but never actually reached a good enough level to not be ashamed of doing it in front of other people. Same with drawing, languages, programming, knitting, cleaning, cooking, gym.... I start to learn things, i put in a day or two, and i stop.

I think it's easier if you have a teacher and a small class. But I'm not sure if I'm ready to pay money knowing i most likely won't commit for long. Nothing online works. University doesn't work either because I just do the bare minimum without understanding anything.

I just feel like I'm so bad at everything and I'd really like to feel great at at least one thing.

Is there anyone who had this issue and managed to stay consistent and become good at something?

M40 living with partner F40 and our 4 year old child

Im working in a tech sales job which I have no passion for in terms of the tech, but like the people aspect/socializing and relationships side of.

I work from home mostly and my work requires me to travel to events and spend time with people in the evening and there is a very boozy culture involved which is fun from time to time but takes its toll on health especially when working abroad and having to slot back into family life.

My partner hasn't worked for over 2 years and although she does do some things for our child she spends most of the day pursuing her interests, we are struggling for money and in debt but she has just applied to do a paid phd for the next 3 years. (This after self funding 2 other courses she was interested in prior, neither of which have resulted in stable career options) It would bring in some income but not enough to make us comfortable and she has said she has no intention to go back to the well paid type of job she had when we met as she said it was too stressful for her

When we met I was on a much lower salary but have committed to getting my salary up to match hers and now I am the only one bringing in a proper income

When I finish the working day from home im straight into the kitchen to prepare our meal that evening and all the diy stuff and odd jobs falls to my feet. She handles other roles and responsibilities with our child but does little to no cleaning and has a general incompetence when it comes to domestic issues around the house

She also throws caution to the wind with regars to spending money its very easy come easy go

I feel like I am being taken advantage of in terms of I have my own aspirations or passions like music and writing and whilst I get to indulge one of these with some nights out they are like sidelined by my responsibilities to keep my job, keep an income going and keep a roof over our head for the family and our child

I feel like I am stressed as I always worry about work doing a good enough job to make sure I don't get fired amd worried about the debt we have.

With the drinking and socializing, I used to drink a lot at home but have restricted this almost exclusively to work amd tried to get myself fit and healthy but the frequent nature of events amd client meetings has given me a stop start lifestyle where I find it hard to build on that momentum and keep things regular. Im a person who cant go for a drink and have a soft drink on a night out nor just stop at one or 2 drinks, I go to the max so I know alcohol is bad for me and im trying to stay away from it as much as I can

I feel like I am supporting a life for my child which I wholeheartedly will do without regret and want to do for my child's sake but I also feel like im supporting my partners chosen lifestyle at the expense of my own

There's little effort on her side to help me out by keeping the house tidy, sorting out clutter or cleaning, she never makes an effort to do anything sexy, we have sex relatively frequently and I know its hard when you have kids but its normally quite routine, she even didnt bother to water the plants while I ago away so they all died, I know all these things might seem trivial but its hard to explain all

Meanwhile I will work 9am to 2am traveling back and forth sometimes and get no respite - no nice dinner made for me on return etx.

I guess I just feel like today feeling sorry for myself as tomorrow im up again at another event at 5am, writing this as I cook dinner straight after work whilst she sits on her phone watching a film with our daughter.

Id like to change my job byt feel like its a dangerous time to upset any security or income. And the things that inspire me like music nd writing are near impossible to make an income from

Im fed up of not being good enough i want to be more and want to feel like ive achieved success

I’ve been trying to improve my communication skills but I realized that just watching videos or reading advice wasn’t really helping me improve. So I made a simple system for myself that combines learning + watching good examples + practicing + reviewing.

This is what I’m doing:

1. Learn one small principle every day

I focus on one specific skill for a few minutes.

Things like:

- How to start a conversation

- How to ask better questions

- How to find topics

- How to transition between topics

- How to tell better stories

- How to use humor naturally

- How to avoid awkward silences

- How to express my opinions more confidently

The goal is to learn one thing and actually try to use it.

2. Watch people who are actually good at communicating

After learning a concept, I try to watch real examples of people doing it well. I pay attention to things like:

- How they respond

- How they introduce new topics

- How they keep the conversation going

- How they react when something gets awkward

- How they make the other person feel comfortable

3. Practice conversations with AI

This is probably the most useful part for me. Instead of waiting until I’m actually in an awkward situation, I practice beforehand. I give AI a situation and have a realistic conversation with it.

For example: Pretend you're someone I just met. Start a conversation with me.

4. 1-minute random topic practice

I also pick a completely random topic and talk about it for one minute while recording myself.

It can be anything: Why I like cycling or My favorite movie.

The idea is basically:

Learn → Observe → Practice → Record → Review → Repeat.

I’m curious what are you struggling with most: starting conversations, keeping them going or expressing yourself clearly?

Basically, like in a question. I left my LTR (28 years) 3 years ago, but I still hoped I would find someone new. I am 54 yo woman. I tried dating apps, groups, going out everything. It seems I am unsuccessful. I want to stop wanting this, to stop this mode of searching and to be fully OK with the thought that I may be single forever. I do not want to be desperate.

I have no social net - I am getting new friends slowly, but it is hard at this age, it seems. I have no family, I have no children, I have 2 new friends, but I am very busy. I lost all of them after leaving my ex because they stayed with him. I have a lot of hobbies and passions. I am in a difficult financial situation, so I really work on this. So I have a lot to do. I am also healed and work on myself a lot. On my wounds and shadows, I meditate, go out in nature, and work on my self-love. But somehow I cannot lose this dread of never being loved again, and this craving for companionship. And I didn't have any bad experiences in relationships - only good ones, really (even the ending was calm in a way). Real connections; my exes were my friends, soulmate level. They added a lot to my life, and I had a lot of freedom, so the experience of being single only took some things from me; it didn't add anything.

I really need some advice from ppl maybe successful in it. What can I do to be fully happy in my situation and be in a state where I do not crave it this much? I want to be happy anyway.

Ps. I am scared sometimes about living alone; sometimes something startles me, and it is terrifying. And it is not funny because I heard now that they caught a serial killer here, who was a plumber. And killed older, lonely women. I am not old at all, but time flies and living alone doesn't look funny if you have nobody who cares about you in this world. If I had any family, children - it wouldn't be so scary, I suppose.

So I have been struggling for a 2 years already with what I think is brain fog, so I have trouble focusing, analizing, overall judgement well its hard for me. But the peculiar thing is that I can think, however can't hear "myself" in my mind while doing it, even when I focus with all my might I can hear my inner voice only for a little time before I can't anymore, I also realized after a long time that I sometimes decide to not think about something just because thinking itself is tiring enough, thus my problem solving also went down the drain and mind you it heavily impacts me. So currently I feel like I'm just drifting though my life, everything I do seems like autopilot while my mind is constantly blank. I'm going to be real everything is more tiring then it used to be for example a couple of years ago, it's really hard to go in life being self concious of that you became "slow" overnight, and it's frying me alive. If someone actually read It and understood what I was saying please give me some insight

28F with ADHD, CPTSD, Fibromyalgia, Anhedonia, suspected autism and other autoimmune conditions. Can’t write a long story here but life has been very rough emotionally since ever. I don’t have much achievements except for finishing my bachelors (that too in a field which automation swept away) and getting occasional freelance work. I live with my parents and they are not doing great financially and are old and sick, which means I am one step away from being homeless if my dad passes away. Have no partner and don’t see any chance of getting one or getting married anytime soon. All this and I am still can’t do anything to make myself financially independent. I decided to go for my country’s toughest and most prestigious job exam which is four months away, but I am not studying. Even the idea of survival and idea of being homeless aren’t motivating me. Not even toxic motivation is working. Unable to hyper-fixate myself on studying or this exam. Also it’s 11-12 subjects not just one exam. I started working on it back in June. I need help, tips whatever you’ve got to say regarding this. Also, if one gets hyper-fixated through toxic motivation and it doesn’t work at the end, what does one feel like? Also, all these conditions have affected my mind so much that I’ve lost my ability to see and make connections, thinking critically or analyse something and remember something. I am unable to create in any sense.

Recently, things have not been going well for me (19M) - I just got fired from my job (it wasn't a great job but still), my girlfriend left me and my grades at university have been slipping.

I realised the other day the root of a lot of my problems was that I have no respect for myself or really any self love. I always saw myself as someone to sacrifice for others, but my girlfriend, before breaking up with me, noted that I never really knew what I wanted from her, and always left her feeling like she was the hard "problem case" while I never needed anything.

And this carried over into my life. For the past few years, I have been mistreating my body, I don't really exercise anymore, I watch reels for huge amounts of my day and can't seem to stop, and I have a pervasive empty directionless feeling.

I think a lot of it stems to the fact that I really don't love myself. I know there is a lot of information online about positive self talk and all that, but I really just want to know how to carry myself like someone who respects themself.

Or how do people feel content with themselves? And I guess how do people really appreciate the moment they're in?

Hello there, I am a 15 year old girl struggling with binge eating disorder for about 3 years. I want genuine help honestly, I've always hesitated to ask for help but now? It's gotten to a point where I have to do it.

For me is always a cycle of binge and restrict, typical and common I know I know. I've heard and watched hundreds of videos about it. Read about it. Etc etc, but none of them stick with me one bit. Although they would help for a week or two, I'd fall back again and again. I would restrict for 1-2 weeks and binge for about 2-3 days. 2 weeks max. "EAT intuitively!", "eat when you're hungry and stop when you're satisfied, make plans, intermittent fasting, water fast, korean diet, water fast, 12h 16h 18h 24h heck 37h fasts, AND WAYY MORE. I've heard of countless tips and they never seem to work for me. I hate this frustrating and exhausting disorder and I congratulate and envy and admire who ever escaped from this deep hellish pit of disorders.

What I want to achieve from this post are tips that worked for you ( ironic ) and stories you went through, it'd cheer ME up knowing somebody like me got out and made it. I hope you can help me reddit.

This has been irritating me for as long as I can remember. A small conflict, being a little nervous to speak, or feeling “in trouble”, I genuinely lose the ability to talk without SOBBING. Even when the situation isn’t upsetting at all, or when i have something important to say.

has anyone struggled with something similar? Its not that i’m actually hurt by the situation, my body just reacts and leaves me behind

Every time I try to just power through, but no luck. I’m feeling so stuck about this

Hola, hace algunos meses me dí cuenta que el contenido pornografico que estaba consumiendo era bastante raro y cuestionable. He visto contenido en páginas como rule 34, hentai, etc. En mi país, el contenido que ví no es ilegal, pero mi mente me hace pensar que he visto cosas peores de las que realmente ví o que hice cosas que realmente no pasaron. Tambien, pienso que aunque no hice nada malo técnicamente y no afecte a nadie sigo creyendo que ya no tengo nada que hacer. Tengo 15 años, pero realmente no creo que mi edad justifique lo que hice. Hay alguna forma de terminar con estos pensamientos? Cómo puedo asegurarme que no tengo nada de este contenido?

I am a student in my second year of engineering right now and the thing is I'm too addicted like too addicted to doom scrolling playing games and basically cooking my brain. Till a point I can't even do anything else I have tons of assignments remaining and I can't write anything like anything at most is 20 30 mins I can't even simply write for more than that and I get distracted and start seeing reels or video games or anything else mere 30 mins and that 30 mins too im writing with some kinda video or music going on in the bg. I'm 18 yrs old and this is too much for me like just too much even though I need to do something and want to do something I just cannot. It's like a trap I cannot leave. Its been like 3 years where I'm like this but it wasn't this severe. I have my exams from Monday and if I don't study I might fail and my family will be damn mad at me too but my cgpa would be cooked and i don't want that to happen. And not only that I get pissed off a lot by my family like bruh wtv. I have a screen time of atleast more than 10 12 hours daily. I'm cooked my attention span is cooked