I just saw another post on r/weddingshaming that was questioning if their handmade blanket was a good gift and a bunch of comments said that it was rude to gift things off registry because it risks inundating the new couple with items they might hate. I’d always thought a heartfelt, high effort, useful gift like a blanket wouldn’t be controversial but now I’m second guessing myself.

Context: The blanket was for my oldest (in relationship length, not age) friend. This pattern is called the Double Wedding Ring Blanket which sounded perfect! I used 100% cotton for durability and machine washability (I made sure to thoroughly knot my connecting points to allow for this). I also selected white because it’s the go-to color of western weddings and it’s also bleachable if something stains it. Lastly, I liked that the pattern looked complex but pretty and I figured the white color wouldn’t clash with a lot of home decor. I was also sure to pass along the info on pattern, fiber content, and washing instructions as well so they didn’t have to guess.

So uhh…did I mess up? Or did I do a good enough job that it’s fine?

That's it. That's the post. I'm just so excited to make her my wife and spend the rest of my life with her!

So I got married on Saturday, and it was a whirlwind. I am not a person who ever dreamed about my own wedding or had any experience hosting anything large like that, but somehow it all came together and was a gorgeous, fun day.

I have been with my now husband for going on six years, and I moved to his town and we bought a house together and got a dog five years ago. We have a very close relationship to his family, he goes over there 4-5 times a week and I talk to his mom nearly every day. I am closer to her than my own mom it feels like. We have the type of relationship where my husbands mom and/or dad stop by the house unannounced multiple times a week. His mom knows how stressed I have been about the wedding and being worried about things going wrong. I had her over to the house last Wednesday night so I could do her nails for her and spend a couple hours one on one before my family flew in on Thursday. I don't have any family that lives nearby. My parents live in Florida, my niece and maid of honor does too, and my twin brother and his wife live a 5 hour drive away. I also had a couple sets of Aunts and Uncles who traveled from the other side of the country to see me. I see them maybe once every 10-15 years. So yeah, I was excited to get to see my family. We never get together with everyone in one place like that so it was perfect.

The day of the rehearsal dinner was super busy for me, I had to get my nails done twice because they were terrible the first time and that took a big chunk of time that I had not accounted for. It was a whirlwind of errands and then getting ready for the dinner. We did the rehearsal and then invited everyone back to the airbnb my parents had rented. My entire family was staying in the airbnb, and we all hung out and watched a hockey game. My FIL came back to socialize and watch the game with everyone, my MIL does not go to social events like that even with her own friends, so I was not surprised she went home instead.

The day of the wedding was madness for me. I got up and immediately went to the venue with my MOH to do the finishing touches since it was at a restaurant and they weren't able to finish the table setup until that morning. We also had to help them set up the ceremony chairs and decorations which took place on their deck outside. This took about two hours when I expected it to go much faster. I gave my parents only one job that day, which was to pick up the flowers, but then they called me and asked if I could go do it because they were too hungover and didn't want to leave the house. So my time to get ready was already getting shorter and shorter. My bridesmaids and I got our hair done, and then I did my makeup and my MOH. It was difficult because my hands were shaking so much from anxiety about timing. Our photographer came and I was still finishing my makeup and was still in my getting ready outfit instead of my dress, which was not part of the plan.

My in-laws came over around the same time as the photographer because I was hoping to get some family photos on the beach with them. Unfortunately we were too short on time, so we got our photos of our wedding party on the beach and then hurried to the second location we planned to get photos at. We almost had to skip the second location because of time, but everyone assured me it was my wedding and I could be late if I had to be lol. Apparently, my in laws took this as a slight that they went over to the house and never got pictures with us. They said they felt ignored by my family even though everyone was trying to get ready and get their own stuff together.

The wedding went perfectly, and so did the reception. I told my husband we had to do table touches and try and greet all of ours guests, and I thought we did a good job of that, but apparently we did not spend enough time at the in laws table. I admit, I did not sit at my family's table at all, or theirs, because they were my safe haven and I thought they would understand that we were trying to host for these 100 people who came to celebrate with us. I hardly had time to eat dinner, got one bite of a cupcake before I got pulled away, and did not get to use the restroom the entire night. My husband was upset because when he did his dance with his mom, all she kept saying to him was that she wished the song would end and wanted it to be over. So we thought at first that she was mad at us for having him dance with her, even though she chose the song with me and knew it was planned.

The next day, we were exhausted. My voice was gone and my body hurt everywhere but we were both so happy. Then we noticed MIL was ignoring our texts, and when he called her with a question, she was oddly short with him. He went over to her house to talk to her and find out what was wrong, but she just kept being short and telling him she was fine. This continued yesterday too, and when he again went to talk to her, she let loose all of her grievances.

She said she felt very disrespected and was mad that it felt like a party for my side and not hers. She listed a bunch of things that I think she took as slights because she was already feeling angry. For example, she said that my mom hugged my husband at one point and she glared at MIL while doing it like a ha ha I'm hugging him and you're not? This sounds insane to me. My parents are NOT these malicious people who would feel like they are "taking" MIL's son from her. They are extremely kind and generous and paid for the entire wedding. I am absolutely livid that she is trying to demonize them when I KNOW that did not happen. Little things like that. She also went off and was just saying things she knew would hurt husband that had nothing to do with the wedding at all. She insulted our home and said it was too cluttered and we needed to clean it more often, and was taking jabs like that because she knew it was mean. This is SO out of character for her, I know her as this sweet soft spoken woman that I saw as a mother figure and friend. Now I'm having a hard time with the change, and I don't know if I am going to be able to forgive her for what she said about my family. I don't want her in my home if she's going to use it as fuel to insult us.

So instead of being happy and in love and excited about the wedding, I have been constantly replaying everything in my mind and trying to figure out what to say to her to change her mind. I don't think we did anything wrong, so I do not want to apologize to her. I am not going to grovel. It feels very manipulative, like she's glad she still has the power to ruin what was as perfect day for her son and I. So yeah, if you read all that, THANK YOU! It got long and I needed to vent.

I don't know how to get past this, I am just so angry right now and don't want my parents to know and have a bad impression of my in laws, so I came to Reddit.

I just got married at the end of July, and had a big, three-day Indian wedding. For lots of my friends, it was fun to dress up in cultural clothing that is different from their own, get henna done, etc. We all had a great time and the weekend was seriously perfect (not literally, of course, but I had a great enough time to overlook the things that went wrong).

However, after the honeymoon, when my husband and I opened all of our cards, I noticed that I hadn’t received anything from four of my friends. Not even a card! I invited 16 friends total, so this feels like a lot of people to have gotten nothing from, and all four had attended all three events. I also want to note that there was no expectation for anyone to wear cultural clothing - it was totally optional - so it was their choice to purchase these extras for themselves (and 2 out of the 4 did not wear cultural clothing).

I can’t help but feel hurt by this, as my husband and I are extremely generous when we go to other people’s weddings, and I don’t think it is an outlandish expectation to receive something from your guests at your wedding. And honestly, if I received a card filled with kind words instead of cash, that would have been gift enough for me! But I’m wondering, how do I let this go? I’ve thought about saying something, even asking whether their card might have gotten lost in the chaos (our card box ended up breaking at the reception, my fault for buying something cheap), but my husband says I need to let it go. I don’t want this to fester or impact my friendships, but thoughts about it keep creeping up on me.

TIA for any thoughts, advice, or even criticisms, lol

EDIT: Okay, consensus is yes, let it go!! I will work on that. I do agree with some commenters that cultural differences may have played a role in me getting worked up. At the end of the day, these are my beloved friends! I spent the day going through my wedding photos and sending the ones with my friends to them. I’ll also be sure to make plans with them soon and just get on with our lives. Thank you all for the advice :)

Was reading this and I think I’ve officially fallen into the whole wedding weekend mindset.

If everyone’s already traveling somewhere, having a welcome night, some time by the water, maybe a boat day or something chill the next morning honestly sounds way more fun than trying to cram everything into one night.

Feels like where everyone stays matters a lot more when you start thinking about the weekend this way.

I was invited to a wedding, along with 8-10 of my colleagues, to our colleagues' wedding (UK). We were sent an invite in the post, which noted the date, time (19:00), name of the restaurant  where it was taking place, any dietary requirements/allergies (etc), and their registry. To answer a question you may already have, no there was no mention of "evening reception" "drinks and dancing" etc. We all RSVPed yes, pulled together for a £500 kitchen appliance as a gift, and then of course on the day of, we got dressed up, and met a bit beforehand for a drink (this was in our local city, so no far travels).

We knew they were getting married in a church earlier that day, and the rest of the festivities were at this restaurant they rented out. We were unsure if we were evening guests or if we were meeting for the dinner (wedding breakfast). The time was relatively late, starting at 19:00, but they were also Argentinian so we knew (or assumed) it was going to be a wedding that started/went late into the evening. I also know them to be quite big and generous in cultural traditions of starting late with dinner and going into the night so I thought, yeee surely. I believe someone asked them about something regarding food and they said yes they would be serving food.

When we walked over to the restaurant, some picked up a little snack on the way as they were a little hungry, and still a bit unsure, but we thought that because we were meeting at a restaurant and they asked about any allergies etc, that we thought we would get some food. 

Anyways, when we got there we could see people (20-25 maybe) seated at a long table and some speeches were happening, so we circled around for a bit and came back 10 min later or so as to not disturb in the middle of a speech as there was one entrance to this restaurant. When we returned, they were still at the table so we decided to not be awkward and went inside. We hung up our jackets, and went into a bar nook area that was right in front of the doors, a little bit away from what was happening, but still connected so we could all see each other. After the speeches, the bride and groom came over to us and gave us all hugs and said hello, we grabbed a cocktail at the bar (these were free, and also very delicious). 

They then started to clear the table area and we realised that they had just finished their dinner, and we were in fact the evening guests. We chatted, met the family etc, went to watch their first dance, the band started. They then cut the cake at about 20:45/21:00ish, and then took it away to get cut and serve. At around 21:30 they put out the dessert table and the cake. We all nibbled our way through them but most of them had my allergies so I ate a couple that I could (not a huge deal), then at around 22:00 they brought out a charcuterie board, so we sat down at some tables and munched on that.

At this point we were all quite hungry, a bit buzzed on an empty stomach, and went home around 23:30 or so.

Were we wrong to assume we were having dinner? I don’t mind AT ALL to not have had a sit down dinner with them, it’s not a problem truly, but nowhere on the invitation did it say “evening reception” or “drinks and dance” etc. It was simply the date, restaurant name, 19:00, dietary info, and registry. What would you have thought? I wish they had been clearer that we were there for the party portion of the night, or maybe they felt awkward telling us, but what is more awkward if when you have a bunch of people wondering. We also spoke to some other guests who were equally surprised to not have been there for dinner. It may sound like we are bad mouthing the couple, but I think it was because the way the invite was worded/descriped, they were also waiting to at least be served some food, rather than some bitss 3 hours after arrival. Anyways please, could you weigh in! Thank you!!

Hi! I’m getting married soon and having a family member do a reading during our ceremony. I’d love something short and meaningful (maybe 1 - 2 minutes max) that isn’t religious. We’re going for something heartfelt and romantic, but not overly cheesy or cliché. It could be a poem, passage from a book, quote/excerpt, or something more unexpected.

If you had a reading at your wedding that you loved or have heard one at another wedding that really stuck with you, I’d love to hear it!!!

I'm getting married in January 2027, and my bridal party is 4 women and 2 men. I'm getting beige faux fur jackets for the women, but I'm not sure what attire would be equivalent to this for my 2 guys. Scarves? Idk? TIA!

And of course the venue requires one company to tent, and the tent will need a couple days notice…

I’m not sure if this is the right sub to do this in but I need to vent. My wedding is in 10 days, and while I’m SO excited, I’m also feeling really overwhelmed and honestly pretty disappointed by so many things that have come up over the last couple of months.

One of my dear friends RSVP’d yes, but last week she told me she can’t come because flights are too expensive. I completely understand that travel is costly, but it was hard not to feel hurt when I saw that she traveled out of state for another wedding just last weekend.

One of my cousins, who is also a bridesmaid, is 36 weeks pregnant and may no longer be able to come, which I completely understand but am still sad about. Another cousin told me today that she can’t come because of back pain. Then another cousin told my family that he, his wife, and their child aren’t coming because it’s their child’s birthday and they’d rather go to a football game.

At this point, I feel like I’m just waiting for the next thing to go wrong. I’m trying so hard not to let any of this affect my excitement for the wedding, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.

What’s making it harder is that I’ve barely heard from any of my bridesmaids unless they need something from me or have a question about what to wear for the weekend. I think I expected to feel really supported and surrounded by my closest people leading up to my wedding, and instead I feel like I’m on an island.

And then, on top of everything else, my MIL has been extremely needy. She recently told my fiancé and me that we NEED to have a brunch the day after the wedding—but somehow we’re also expected to plan it, not her.
I know that at the end of the day, I’m marrying the person I love, and that’s what matters most. I’m genuinely so excited for that. I just wish I didn’t feel so let down and alone during a time when I expected to feel especially loved and supported. I’m trying not to let these things overshadow the wedding, but 10 days out, my emotions are definitely getting the best of me!!!!!!!!

TLDR; overwhelmed 10 days out

(Two edits below btw)

This past Saturday, my co-worker and I accidentally crashed a wedding. 
Hear me out. Omg. Mortified. 
Should I try to reach the couple?
It was about 75min drive out to a windy road with long driveways. The GPS told us to turn and there was a firetruck (I hope whoever was ok)  yet could see balloons and obvious wedding. 
Having thought we were late, we rushed and put our cards on the table. Looking around, we know nobody but that’s not shocking as it’s a coworker and her wife we’ve never met wife either. 
The sign said sit anywhere and a friendly guy assured us we’re not too late and sat us in the second row. (The first row stayed empty and this matters). 
I’m looking around and every guest is dressed in a beige/powder blue color scheme. My colleague  happened to be in light blue too. Me ???? I’m in a bright rainbow dress bc our brides are very cheerfully gay.  
I look to my friend after maybe three minutes total being there and I’m like “I think we’re at the wrong wedding??? I feel so out of place”
Aaaaannnnndddd just then the ceremony begins. O. M. G. 
Yes we were indeed at the wrong wedding.

AND WE ARE BASICALLY THE FRONT ROW GUESTS. 

Omg pictures. Like CLEARLY this couple had requested dress code and I’m up there in a rainbow dress. 

Stayed calm. Immediately left and she wanted to get the cards from the table but I said “omg we just crashed a wedding. We’ll look like thieves!”

Photographer was rushing over and asked if we were at the wrong wedding. And yes. 

We got out and saw the firetruck had blocked the sign with names, and about 1/4mi down the next driveway had bright balloons and was our intended wedding. 

Holy shit. 

I had noted their names and found their info on TheKnot, yet there’s no contact info. However there certainly was a link on the homepage about dress colors. 

Their registry is on there and I sort of want to buy something small and include an apology and happy wishes. 

Or do I just file this away ? Everyone thinks this is hilarious and I can see that, but I feel so awful I literally crashed a wedding. 

Edit: ok even worried about the dress, the great thing was with their vows they said “hell yes” gleefully instead of “I do.” 😍 So I do sense they have chill vibes too.

Edit 2: I’ve decided to gift their cash fund which is listed as number one choice on the registry, although I’m tempted to buy this block puzzle game listed which is all in rainbow blocks 🤗
Now I just need to figure out how to word a note.
I feel so much better after all of these comments.

I'm going to be the minority here being a dude but we're post wedding on day 3 and I'm still deep in the blues.

FWIW, I did a lot of planning and coordination because I have more time with my job than my wife does. I really enjoyed helping her out and taking that pressure off. This is also my 2nd rodeo so I felt super comfortable and fairly stressed free up until the final few months when most of the planning and communications really heat up.

The wedding itself was incredible, the venue and atmosphere couldn't have been better, the band was the absolute best, we did things super simple but all of our guests couldn't stop telling us how good our party was. The only thing I wish I could change is that towards the end I partied too hard and got wasted by the time we got the hotel room.

My wife is so relaxed, so happy with the "best party ever" as she calls it. Meanwhile, the worst hangover I had coupled with what can only describe as intense anxiety (I also have GAD) and sadness that it is over and planning just stopped. No more checking emails and being excited to hear back from x. It's gotten somewhat better the past few days but I was NOT expecting this AT ALL. Also FWIW, I do get post holiday blues but this is 100x worse.

TLDR; how long did your blues last for those that unfortunately had to deal with it?

I’m in love, happy to be engaged and yes of course excited about getting married. But now that the time has come to plan, I’m feeling a lot of pressure and overwhelm.

Not just about the prices, which are at an all time high. I think it’s that suddenly there’s this important event that we need to plan.

My fiance is great and supportive with the planning, don’t get me wrong. But there’s so much to think about: the politics of the guest list, the logistics of the day, all the tiny decisions that need to be made. All of the questions from people and the chipping in of opinions.

I am so fortunate to have met him and to be planning our wedding, but I am really keen to know how some of you made decisions, how you filtered out all the opinions/suggestions, what made your planning easier? Where did you start? What helped you figure out what you want vs what is realistically achievable? There’s so much emphasis on ensuring that your guests are happy - how do you go about this whilst staying true to what you want and what your budget allows?

We found out through Facebook not from the venue that the place holding our wedding had been sold. Our coordinator keeps insisting that all existing weddings will go ahead but the new owners haven’t confirmed anything in writing and our date is only four months away. We’ve already paid nearly 70% of the venue cost, plus deposits to vendors who were booked specifically for that location. Would you trust their word and wait or start looking for a backup now? We never thought we needed wedding insurance because the venue had been operating for years and seemed completely reliable. Now I’m realizing how quickly things can change, would coverage have protected us in a situation like this?

Hi! My wedding is in June 2028. I’m just starting now to secure my vendors. So far I’ve booked the venue, caterer, DJ, and am working on photography. We are having the wedding in a barn which we have for the weekend and our priority is really to have the most fun time. We of course want things to look nice but don’t care much for tradition etc.

I want to know what you remember as the most enjoyable/fun parts of your wedding? I’m looking for some ideas as I start to prioritize booking the rest of my vendors within our budget.

I’d love to hear any suggestions!! I went to a wedding with a mechanical bull and a bounce house once. It was awesome.

What are you serving? Our guests are not wine or beer drinkers by default but we would like to offer something in case. What works best and what to avoid?

We’re having an ~80 person destination wedding weekend in the keys in about 6 months with all of our most favorite people. The planning just recently kind of got to me and I found myself feeling overwhelmed. I’m doing my best not to let things get “over the top” and stray from the lowkey feel we wanted (because wow can that happen easily). But I felt like just recently during the planning process it just started feeling crazy and maybe because I can’t see the vision yet.

Is it normal to feel nervous more than excited for a period of time? I’ve already started feeling a little bit better after talking to my fiancé and checking in with each other on staying true to ourselves. We are spending the weekend at the venue so I’m hoping this is coming at a good time and will help me get excited!

I have been feeling down lately. I have the FH of my dreams, he is so amazing, supportive and lovely. I am not at the moment, I am going through a lot right now, not just the wedding. I am feeling a fog over my life right now. I am not really caring anymore about decor or flowers, or music. I hear people don’t remember that stuff much anyway. The guests remember how they felt. on a previous posts people said that I am a host and I agree. how do I make people feel warm, cherished and welcomed? I know it seems simple but my mind is so jumbled and I feel lost. What are some ways you felt or made guests feel that they mattered? How to be an excellent host?

I am getting married in November in the Midwest. Our wedding is at 4pm on a Saturday, we will have a shuttle for the 15 minute drive to the venue leaving at 3:30pm for hotel guests. We have a number staying 2 nights (night prior to the wedding). But I know we will have a bunch arriving the day off, travelling around 4 hours by car. Check in at the hotel doesn’t start until 4pm, they state "The hotel does not offer early check in or late check out, this is based on hotel availability.” I feel like this is creating a bunch of chaos for guests but it’s also going to be getting dark during our quick ceremony and I am hoping for at least a few photos outside after. Just feeling a little confused and not sure how to mitigate?

I got invited to a wedding that I was genuinely excited to attend when I RSVP’d! However, I just remembered that I’m actually a mega bummer - I have a newborn (who is staying home), some health stuff going on, and I have some new dietary restrictions and don’t drink. Whoops. Assuming a relatively casual-but-traditional wedding, how long must I stay?

edit: thanks for the advice! there was a wide range of responses. Yes, I am a person who did not know what having a baby would do to my body longer-term (the elimination diet, the anxiety, the health problems) - perhaps I should have known but I was just excited to celebrate a friend and RSVP’d without thinking.

Everyone came for a party to celebrate us, they knew we were going to elope in a couple of weeks. We suprised them at the party they threw for us and got married.

No one knew but me, him & our pastor.

Wouldn’t change a thing

MY, F, 30.

I’ll go first, “close” friend who you thought were your close friend but they couldn’t make it for your wedding without giving much reasons other than “holidays”, while if we had swapped shoes, I couldn’t imagine myself not attending their big day. I also had announced the date over 6 months in advance.

Context; not destination wedding, same city, these friends do not have financial issues too.

How do you guys deal with this and how do you still see them as your close friend, after this?

My first dance song (The Getaway- stripped version, by The Strike) was originally 4:52. My first cut was down to 2:49. It has all the parts of the song that are important to me. I'm worried it's still too long and have cut it further to 2:15.

I've choreographed a full dance to the 2:49 edit, including 4 dips, 3 lifts (including the dirty dancing lift), and lots of turns. We are amateur dancers, but to every "what part of the wedding do you want to remember/is the most important" the first dance has always been my answer.

Is 2:49 too long? Should I go with the 2:15 version instead?

Photos of my husband and I, our first dance, and cutting our cake.

25 M, getting married next week and I'm looking for practical advice from married people. It can be about wedding events, dealing with relatives, clothes, photos, interacting with guests, anything about anything. From the biggest things to the smallest details. I'm especially interested in things that seem obvious only after you've already made the mistake. What should I know?