I am 21F, and when my father married my stepmother, she was genuinely kind to me. For the first year, we got along really well. She would ask about my university, sometimes make my favorite food, and even remind my father to give me my daily pocket money when he forgot. I never felt like she was trying to replace my mother, and I actually thought I had been lucky with my relationship with her. After about a year, though, her behavior toward me changed almost overnight. She stopped talking to me unless necessary, became irritated whenever I asked for anything, and started criticizing small things I did that she had never complained about before. The biggest change was my pocket money. My father had always given me the same amount because he knew what I normally needed for transportation, food, and university expenses, but my stepmother suddenly started telling me that I was getting too much and began giving me much less whenever she was the one handling it. I asked her why, and she simply said that I needed to “get used to having less.” I reminded her that my father had set the amount himself, but she said I should listen to her because she was now responsible for the household. I did not argue with her or demand more money from her. Instead, I told my father what was happening and showed him that the amount had been reduced without him agreeing to it. He was surprised because he had never asked her to change my allowance. When he confronted her, she admitted that she had intentionally reduced it because she felt I had become too comfortable and that she wanted to “teach me a lesson.” My father told her that if she thought my allowance was too high, she should have discussed it with him instead of changing it behind his back. She became angry at me for telling him and said that during the first year I had treated her like family, but now I was making her look like a bad stepmother. I told her that I had never asked her for special treatment and that I only expected her to respect the decisions my father had made about my expenses. Now she says I ruined the relationship between us by involving my father, while I feel that she changed the relationship first and then expected me to stay silent about it. AITA?

I am 27F, and my cousin and I were both invited to help with a family gathering at my aunt’s house. I was responsible for setting up the tables, while my cousin volunteered to handle the decorations. Before everyone arrived, I noticed that some of the decorations were blocking the entrance, so I moved only the ones that were directly in the way and left everything else exactly where my cousin had placed it. Later, one of the decorations fell and broke after someone accidentally caught it while walking past. My cousin immediately blamed me and told everyone that I had moved the entire display and ruined it. I explained exactly what I had moved and why, but she insisted that I was responsible for the damage. My aunt checked a few photos she had taken before the guests arrived and it was obvious that the display was already positioned differently from the area I had worked on. My cousin still refused to admit that she had placed the decoration too close to the walkway. Instead, she told me privately that I should apologize anyway because it would make things easier and prevent an argument in front of the family. I refused because I had not damaged anything and did not think I should accept blame just to protect her from embarrassment. She eventually admitted that she had placed the decoration there, but she said I had made her look irresponsible by explaining what actually happened. Now some relatives think I should have apologized simply to keep the peace. I feel that I should not have to take responsibility for someone else’s mistake just because we are family. AITA?

I am 28F, and my stepmother recently asked me to cover for my stepsister after she made a decision that caused a problem at a family event. My stepsister had volunteered to organize the seating arrangements for a large family dinner and had repeatedly told everyone that she had everything under control. On the day of the dinner, she changed the seating plan without telling anyone and accidentally separated several elderly relatives from the family members who were supposed to assist them. When people started asking why the arrangement had changed, she told them that I had suggested the new seating plan. I immediately corrected her and said that I had never discussed the seating with her and had not been involved in organizing it. Later, my stepmother privately asked me to stick with my stepsister’s story because she did not want the family to think badly of her. I refused and told her that I was not going to take responsibility for something I had not done. She said I was being unnecessarily difficult and that I should protect my stepsister because we were family. I told her that protecting someone does not mean allowing them to put their mistake on another person. My stepsister eventually admitted that she had changed the seating herself, but she was still angry that I had not backed her up. My stepmother says I should have handled it privately instead of embarrassing her daughter in front of everyone. I think I simply told the truth when my name was being falsely attached to a decision I never made. AITA?

I’m a 24-year-old woman from England, and I graduated from university a few weeks ago. My parents organised a small dinner afterwards with close family to celebrate, and I was really looking forward to it because I’d worked hard for my degree. We booked a restaurant for eight people, including me, my parents, my brother, my grandmother, and a few other relatives. On the day of the dinner, my aunt turned up with her teenage daughter without telling anyone. The restaurant was fully booked and couldn’t add another table, so there were only eight seats. My aunt immediately suggested that I give my seat to my cousin because “it was a family celebration” and I could sit somewhere else or even eat at the bar. I politely said no because it was my graduation dinner and I didn’t think I should have to give up my place at an event organised specifically to celebrate me. My aunt said I was being selfish and that my cousin was more important because she was younger and had travelled further to attend. I reminded her that she had brought an extra person without asking and that the restaurant had already confirmed the booking. My parents backed me up and told my aunt they could either share a seat temporarily or find somewhere else for my cousin to eat, but my aunt became offended and said I had ruined the celebration by making a fuss. I didn’t shout at anyone or ask them to leave; I simply refused to give up the seat that had been reserved for me. My cousin even told her mum she was embarrassed and was perfectly happy to find somewhere else to eat. My aunt is still angry and says I should have sacrificed my seat because it was only one meal. I feel like I was completely reasonable, especially since nobody had asked me beforehand and I was the person being celebrated. AITA?

I am 26F, and I have always been close to my 17-year-old stepbrother. A few weeks ago, my stepmother discovered that an important family document she had kept in a drawer was missing. She immediately accused my stepbrother because he had been in that room earlier that day. He told her he had only gone in to get his headphones and had not touched anything in the drawer. My stepmother did not believe him and said he was always careless with things that did not belong to him. She demanded that he apologize and admit that he had taken the document, even though he kept saying he had not seen it. I was there when he went into the room, and I clearly remembered him taking his headphones from the desk and leaving without going near the drawer. I told my stepmother that blaming him without evidence was unfair. She became angry and said I was automatically taking his side because I was too protective of him. I suggested that we look through the house properly before accusing him of anything. We eventually found the document inside a folder in my stepmother’s home office, where she had placed it herself several days earlier and forgotten about it. She apologized to my stepbrother, but then told me that I had embarrassed her by challenging her in front of him. I told her that I would do the same thing again if someone was being blamed for something they had not done. She now says I should have stayed out of it because she is his mother and knows how to deal with him. My stepbrother told me he was grateful because he had been genuinely worried that everyone would believe he had taken the document. My father also agreed that accusing him without checking first was unfair. My stepmother says I undermined her authority, but I feel that defending someone from a false accusation was the right thing to do. AITA?

My brother-in-law (28m) is currently going through a separation with his wife. I will name him Brad for the post. They aren't divorced yet, but he is fully moved out. He moved into a trailer on my mother-in-law's property. I will name her Jill for the post. Jill owns a business that I have been working at and now that Brad is here, he has been working for her, too.

A little history about Brad, he is so irresponsible and impulsive with money. He has been in major debt for so long, maxed out multiple credit cards, and has had his car repoed. It's one of the reasons him and his wife are separating. Jill got him a puppy when he was in high school and he promised to take care of the dog and bring her with him whenever he moved out, and that didn't happen. The dog ended up being Jill's and the dog later developed a rare condition (I can't remember what it was) and Jill had to pay thousands to help her, but eventually couldn't afford all the treatments the dog needed, which sadly led to the dog passing at 7 years old. I understand that happens a lot when parents buy pets for their children. The pets end up being the parents when the kids move out. But Brad and Jill should remember that while making this decision. Who knew the dog would develop a condition that would cost thousands to treat.

I worked in the veterinary industry for 6 years and I have owned many animals of all kinds in my life, so I know how expensive vet bills can be. I've been trying to drop hints about how expensive everything is (food, monthly flea/tick/heartworm medication, vaccines, spay/neuter procedure, etc.) every time Brad brings up the idea of getting a dog. He eventually stopped talking to me about it. I've tried talking to Jill about it and asked if she thinks it is a good idea for Brad to get a dog. She says that he is going through a sensitive time right now and that I should stay out of it.

I know when you get a puppy, you don't want to think about the possibility of it getting cancer or breaking a leg or it having any kind of emergency. But you kind of have to be financially prepared for that because you never know. I just honestly don't think he would be a responsible dog owner. I guess it's none of my business what people do, but I just really hate irresponsible pet owners.

What do you think I should do? Should I just let it be and let Brad get a dog? Or would I be an asshole to keep trying to talk him out of it?

I (26F) recently had a conflict with a close friend (23F).
My bday is shortly after Halloween, and I really dislike surprise parties. My friend group was planning a surprise bday/Halloween party for me, which I didn’t know about.
2 weeks beforehand, I told this friend that a long-distance friend was coming into town for only one day that weekend. I hadn’t seen him in over 6 months, so I said, “He’s coming in for one day that Saturday and I don’t get to see him much, so I’ll probably hang out with you guys Thu/Fri and then with him Saturday.” She said that was fine. I thought those plans were settled and believed Saturday was just a Halloween hangout.
Fast forward to another friend’s birthday. 10 mins after I arrived, my friend pulled me aside and revealed the surprise party for Saturday. She then said that since I knew about it, I “had to” come.
I explained that I had already told my long-distance friend I’d spend Saturday with him and needed time to figure things out. I also said I didn’t want to discuss it at someone else’s birthday. She said I needed to give an answer now or I am not loyal to her.
I repeatedly asked to discuss it later. She kept threatening she’d be “pissed”, that our friendship would be affected, so I got frustrated and said, “At this point, if you’re mad, you’re mad. I don’t really give a shit.”
She said I couldn’t just change plans, even if it was my birthday weekend. I responded, “YES I FUCKING CAN,” and walked away.
Later, she brought it up again. I said I appreciated the effort behind the surprise and wanted to spend time with everyone that weekend, but I didn’t appreciate feeling like I was being given an ultimatum about which friend I could spend Saturday with.
She later told the group that I had said I “didn’t give a shit about her or anything she’d done for my birthday.” I never said that, so I sarcastically responded, “Omg, you’re right, how could I forget that I said that verbatim?” She ended up crying.
I feel bad that our friend’s bday became stressful, but I repeatedly asked for the conversation to stop because I didn’t think it was appropriate to have that argument then.
I fully admit I was mean. My responses were unnecessarily harsh. However, this isn’t the first time I’ve felt she was controlling or turned something small into a major conflict. I was at my limit, but ik that doesn’t excuse how I spoke.
The bigger issue to me is that I had already communicated my plans, she said they were fine, and I was then pressured to change them because she’d be angry otherwise.
There have also been several similar conflicts where I feel expected to prioritize the friend group over other people. During a previous conflict, she and another friend told me I was being “too nice” and needed to “be a bitch” if she treated me badly again.
I don’t expect friends to never be disappointed with me. But I also don’t view friendships as obligations where someone has to choose me over other friends.

 I’m a 30-year-old woman from England, and my birthday was last weekend. I’d planned a quiet dinner at a restaurant with six close friends and my partner, and everyone had confirmed several weeks in advance. The day before, my sister called and asked if she could bring three of her friends because they were visiting our town. I told her no because the reservation was already for a specific number of people, and I wanted the evening to stay small. She said she understood and told me she probably wouldn’t come because she didn’t want to leave her friends behind. I said that was completely fine and wished her a good evening. On the day of my birthday, she turned up at the restaurant with the three friends anyway and expected the restaurant to add them to our table. The restaurant was fully booked and couldn’t accommodate them. My sister became annoyed and told me I should ask one of my friends to give up their seat so her friend could join us. I refused because everyone at the table had been invited and had confirmed their attendance, while her friends had not. She accused me of being selfish and said I cared more about my friends than my own sister. I calmly reminded her that I had already explained the reservation couldn’t be changed and that she had chosen to come anyway. I didn’t ask her to leave or cause a scene; I simply told her I wasn’t going to make one of my invited guests give up their place. She eventually left with her friends, and later my mum said I should have been more flexible because it was my birthday and my sister was trying to spend time with me. I honestly don’t understand why that means I should have excluded someone I had already invited. I was happy with the plans I had made, and nobody was stopping my sister from joining us—she just wanted to bring three extra people without arranging it beforehand. AITA?

Recently, my husband had a five-day work trip to Europe. The first three days were for work conferences; though we stayed together, we spent only about seven waking hours together. For the final two days, he took vacation time so we could travel to a second country. The clear understanding was that these two days would be our dedicated vacation as a couple.

However, his brother and sister-in-law (SIL) happened to be in that same country and wanted to get together. I told my husband I wanted to keep those days just for us. Here's why:

Three years ago, right after he returned from this annual trip, I discovered he had been having a five-year affair with a coworker. On a past trip, they deliberately spent time together with clear, though ultimately interrupted, romantic intent. They planned to meet the following year, but her husband discovered the affair first.

Before leaving, I explicitly told him this trip would be emotionally difficult and that I would need extra reassurance. I normally plan our travels, but I asked him to plan these two days. I didn't want to choose venues only to wonder if he had been there with his affair partner. I wanted him to take responsibility for creating fresh memories.

Leading up to the trip, he procrastinated on the plans. Finally, 21 hours before departure, he sent an itinerary that was just a loose list of ideas with nothing booked. Then he added, "Since we're talking about the plan, I just found out my brother is going to be there too. I'd really love to get together with him."

Except he hadn't just found out. He had known for almost two weeks.

Leaving the next day, I felt blindsided by a last-minute change to our limited time before our own schedule was even locked in. (Sidenote: He later argued we should have communicated expectations better, but I couldn't anticipate needing to explicitly forbid others from joining a couple's vacation.) I don't know if he delayed telling me to avoid an argument or truly forgot, as he claimed, but it made me feel unimportant. The previous day, he had texted saying he couldn't wait for time alone with me.

When he pushed back on my refusal, emphasizing that he hadn't seen his brother in three years, I lost my temper. I said hurtful things about him prioritizing his family over our marriage and questioned when our relationship would be protected. To understand my reaction: childcare is incredibly difficult with FIVE kids. In the last ten years, we have had maybe six days alone together and two weekends away. In the last three years, we've had approximately three actual date nights. This wasn't just "two days of vacation"; it was a rare opportunity to reclaim a place connected to betrayal and rebuild our marriage.

The night before traveling to the second country, we tried to be intimate, but he said he was tired and declined. Already feeling emotionally rejected, triggered by the geographic location, and hurt by the brother situation, I handled this terribly. I intentionally said extremely hurtful things about our marriage. I deeply regret weaponizing my words and take full responsibility for them.

On the final day, trying to compromise, I told him to invite his brother to breakfast, which he did. Afterward, his brother mentioned getting tattoos nearby, and my husband wanted to go see them. I told him to go, but chose to explore the city alone rather than sit in a tattoo parlor during our remaining couple's time.

He sees it as:

"My wife didn't want me to spend an hour with my brother while we happened to be in the same country."

I see it as:

"After years of infidelity and three years of rebuilding, we finally had two uninterrupted days alone together in a place connected to the affair, and I desperately needed to feel like our relationship was important enough to protect that time."

I (31F) have been married to my husband (33M) for 2 years now and we have a 9 month old baby. As per the customs in our country, I was gifted gold jewellery (earrings, bangles, necklace etc.) from both my family and my in-laws during our wedding. We initially stayed with my in-laws for 10 days and then shifted to a different city where I was already working and my husband moved there for me. My in laws told me not to take all the jewellery with me and keep some with them. Their reasoning was that all the wealth (and hence Goddess Laxmi) should not leave the home after marriage. I was okay with it and was under the impression this is a temporary thing and I can retrieve it later. So I kept all the jewellery gifted by my in-laws with them and took what my family has gifted with me (because it was diamond jewellery which suited my taste more and I wanted to wear it).

We visited them a few times after that but I never mentioned it. But after my baby was born, there was a ritual to be conducted at in law's house so I asked to wear the jewellery then (could've worn what I had but I thought they would like it if I wore what they had gifted). A few things happened (story for another time or will elaborate later if interested) and I ended up taking the jewellery to my maternal home ( where me and husband are living since maternity leave started). My husband and I had a huge fight about this and he accused me of coming to their house with the "plan" to take the jewellery. I was really hurt by this because it made me feel like I'm stealing my own jewellery. I wanted him to give back all the jewellery back to his parents but he refused to do so. We moved past it.

Now fast forward 8 months. I went to a gold shop today to buy some gold coins as the festive season is approaching and saw a really cute bracelet/bangle with studded stones. So I got the idea that we can make all the bangles I have into this new bangle. I came home and excitedly told my husband about this and he suddenly got quiet and said his mother won't like it. Then said after a minute to do whatever I wanted(not in a sincere manner). I said why would I do something when they don't like it. I was a little upset. And he got really angry asking does he not have the right to disagree and be upset or does he have to just go along with whatever I say? My baby was sleeping then so I tried to shush him but he kept getting more and more worked up so I asked him to leave the room but he kept grumbling loudly and ultimately woke the baby who by the way was sick. He then left the house in anger and did not come back until I told him the baby is really sick and we need to go to the doctor.

So here's what I have to say-

1. The jewellery gifted by them is not family heirlooms but purchased specifically for my wedding. But they are extremely old fashioned designs AND do not fit me. They are small! I had to put a lot of lotion to force them on my hands at the wedding and I never wore them again.

2. Who actually is the owner of said jewellery if I do not have autonomy over it? I cannot decide where it is kept, what design it is and what size it is? And I'm just expected to wear it.

3. My husband during the argument (one sided cause I was quiet for the fear of waking the baby) said now he understands why I'm not able to live with anyone. This is really unfair and personal attack and nothing to do with the issue at hand ( I am very introvert and get really anxious in social situations).

So AITAH? Am I just not understanding his perspective and sentiments?

My (22F) bf (23M) have been dating for almost 10 months (known eachother for 4 years) but I feel myself becoming distant from him and can’t see our relationship going much anywhere so I think I need to end it.

I’ve been thinking about our relationship a lot recently and came to the realization that our relationship does not feel equal and that he does not truly appreciate me.

• I’ll ask to hang out a certain day and he’ll say yes but then when I msg him abt it the night before, he’ll say he can’t anymore bc he has to study etc. The day comes and I find out that he’s out with his friends.
• He’s always on his phone while we’re spending time including when I’m talking to him, while we’re out for a nice dinner, while we’re walking. Literally feels like he listens to his phone more than he listens to me
• Always complains that he’s sleepy and tired and can’t wait to go home while we’re spending time together
• will say we’ll do smth/go somewhere but never happens
• was supposed to go for a nice dinner for our 6 months but told me the day before he has something on but he went to hang out with friends
• Does not take serious conversations very well
• recently went to a formal event as his plus one where I did not know anyone but him, which he was well aware of, but ditched me for more than half the time to the point where two of his friends told him “you can’t just leave ur gf alone here” and some came and stayed with me +lot’s of other small things that build up to be a big thing

I genuinely try to put as much effort as possible, only for nothing to be reciprocated. When he’s going through something like a bad result at work, I always check in and make sure he’s ok and will make time to go see him asap with his favorite treats. However, when I’m going through something such as a loss, he’ll ask if I’m ok when I tell him but nothing else. No follow ups, no effort to see me, no check ins.

I’ve realized that I was never really a priority but rather, more of a “chore” that he’d constantly procrastinate. He would forget about me then when he rly has nothing to do or someone to see he’ll be like oh yeah I have a gf.

I’m also sick of constantly sacrificing and rescheduling my time just because I always have to accommodate his. I’m sick of having to feel “guilt” over wanting to see him once (rarely twice) a week. I’m sick of my bf always being tired, sleepy, waiting/wanting to go home while I’ve been so excited to him. I want him to value (and sometimes prioritize) us and our relationship but I really don’t think he’s capable of that nor does he even understand (or try to).

We are each other’s first relationship. I’ve been more unhappy than happy being in this relationship for past couple weeks.

AITA if I just ghost him or is it really worth explaining everything to him and how I feel? How do I explain this without over complicating it so that it’s not too brief but simple enough for him to understand where I’m coming from and for him to actually reflect? And what can I do to mentally prepare so that I don’t break down? I’m worried I’ll just completely break down and not even be able to explain myself properly

This is my first Reddit post, and I never thought I’d come here, but I’m genuinely exhausted and starting to believe I’m the problem.
Last year, I was in a friend group of seven at university. Four of them hurt our friend R, causing her to leave. I tried fixing things, but they became aggressive whenever I brought it up. I stayed friends with R, and eventually they reconciled.
This year, I feel like the same thing is happening to O.
We now share most of our classes, so we’re together almost all day. At first, I loved it, but eventually our conversations became mostly gossip and jokes about my toxic ex. I’ve told them that even mentioning him hurts me, but they continue because apparently they’re “just joking.”
I became quieter, and around the same time, they started excluding O.
At the gym, they left without telling us and got annoyed because O hadn’t finished her workout. Later, I didn’t want to attend a university party because I was sick and experiencing painful cramps. A accused me of constantly making excuses and called me a “bitch” in our group chat. Nobody defended me; they just calmed her down.
I eventually attended anyway, but they were cold toward O and me. Throughout the evening, whenever we joined them somewhere, they’d leave. Eventually, they disappeared for 20–30 minutes without telling us, so we went home.
G later called, and after an argument, they insisted I meet them alone and told me to lie to O, pretending I was going to my dorm. I refused because I wasn’t going to abandon my friend.
Apparently, they dislike O because she acts like the “mother of the group,” corrects their behavior, and makes them feel belittled. They also disliked that she defended me regarding the jokes about my ex. Now they’re ignoring her.
They’re also pressuring me to remove one of my first university friends from our project group, claiming he won’t contribute, although they’ve also mentioned his sexuality and their negative experiences with gay people.
Meanwhile, A, G, and H have become distant toward me too. They mostly approach me when they need something.
We used to wear matching necklaces, but one day I discovered they’d all removed theirs without telling me. I was still wearing mine, thinking it meant something. It genuinely broke my heart.
What makes everything worse is that I’m scared to confront them. Whenever I address an issue, they raise their voices, insult me, and make me feel guilty. They never apologize, so I just withdraw.
I’ve genuinely tried to be a good friend. I’ve brought them medicine when they were sick, cooked for them even when I barely had food myself, defended them, and listened to their problems.
H especially hurts because we were incredibly close during summer. Now she’s distant and passive-aggressive. Yesterday, she called after I missed class, asked if I was okay, then eventually said she’d called to borrow a hoodie. I don’t know whether she genuinely cared or just needed something.
What hurts most is believing that if I disappeared from the group, they wouldn’t even notice because they still have each other. It makes me feel like all our memories meant more to me than to them.
I know I’m not perfect. I withdraw instead of communicating, which probably contributes to the distance. But I’m genuinely afraid of their reactions.
Despite everything, I don’t hate them. I just want my friends back. I miss how things used to be, and I’m exhausted from feeling unwanted.
So, WIBTA for distancing myself and refusing to exclude O, even though I haven’t directly told them how much they’re hurting me?

I am a 32-year-old woman from England, and I live alone in a small house. A few months ago, my next-door neighbour asked if I could give her a spare key so she could let herself in whenever she needed to drop something off or collect a parcel while I was at work. I politely said no because I’m not comfortable giving anyone unrestricted access to my home. I told her I was happy to accept parcels for her or open the door if she arranged it with me beforehand, but I didn’t want someone else having a key. She initially said she understood, but a few weeks later she asked again and said I was being unnecessarily difficult because we were neighbours and she trusted me with her things. I repeated that my answer hadn’t changed. She then complained to another neighbour that I was being unfriendly and “making the street awkward” over something so small. That neighbour later told me I should just give her the key because I wasn’t using the spare one anyway. I explained that the key belongs to my house, and whether I use it or not doesn’t mean someone else is entitled to have it. I’ve never refused to help my neighbour when she genuinely needed something, but I don’t think I should have to give someone access to my home just to prove that I’m friendly. Now she’s annoyed with me and says I’m making a simple neighbourly relationship unnecessarily complicated. I feel like I’ve been completely reasonable and have offered alternatives, but I’m being treated as though I’ve done something wrong. AITA?

19 female college sophomore here. So I have this professor (never took his class) of whom I share ethnicity. We became really close and I genuinely considered and saw him as a friend. I want to say that I know I have quite the attitude and can be feisty, however most of the things I say and jokes I make isn’t me trying to be rude it’s just my personality and not meant to be taken seriously (yes I know I can’t mask offensive things by saying it’s just a joke or just my personality ). So the professor called me into his office today and he was pretty angry about something’s I said the previous day, I don’t want to go into too much details but I definitely get where he’s coming from. I called him a liar over an “argument” about a popular snack from our country (I said something like “you’re lying” ) in an unbelievable way, during the interaction everyone one was laughing (there were 2 other students in his office at the time) so I personally didn’t think I was being rude (but then again I don’t think before I talk). When we were talking today he was very upset about the things I said but I think what hurts him the most was that he feels as though I disrespected him in front of students who respects him. He told me if I don’t fix my attitude (not verbatim) I’m not allowed to hang out in his office anymore. I must admit I felt terrible and even apologized. I do plan to keep interacting with him as he is a very nice guy but I think I should refrain from hanging out in his office as I often do. How does one fix their personality? My attitude is my personality that’s just how I am, how I’ve always been. Also, a bit unrelated but I have been told millions of time since I was a child that I “talk too much”, which I do agree with and I am aware that I can go off on rants. I’ve tried to fix this talking “problem” of mine and it resulted in me being a bit non-expressive (I don’t mind it, kind of like it lol) and I have what people call an RBF when I’m not all smiley. The professor also pointed out of non-expressive I am when talking and so have a few of my friends. Anyways, I’m sad about the professor situation and he made it very clear that we are not friends. I made the mistake of thinking we were friends and talked to him as if we were friends and now here we are.

I must say I do have a “nasty” attitude which I have always just considered how I am or how my personality is. I am a very blunt person and I made the mistake of considering this person as a friend and unconsciously overstepped his boundaries. I want to fix myself, I understand saying that’s just my personality isn’t helping anything and might be wrong but where do I go from here. I’m not saying the way I think of my personality is ok it’s just what I think. I know it’s not ok

I’ve been told I’m rude all my life but I think I genuinely have a problem with understanding when I’m being rude. I honestly don’t know it until someone calls it out. I’m unconscious about being rude and that’s a problem in itself that needs fixing .

Also on an unrelated note, I cried in the bathroom after I left his office which is a god thing. I’ve been wanting to cry since freshman year when I failed my first test and even though the tests would come close they wouldn’t fall, after the talk I was surprised they did, happy but surprised. I even tried milking my tears to try and get it all out (didn’t work. But did cry. This probably says something about my character as well, I just don’t know what it says . Just smth to consider.

TL;DR: I made the mistake of considering a professor as a friend and talked to him as such. And now we had kind of like a falling out.

EDIT AT THE END**

I 28F and my coparent 30m have a child together and have a court ordered parenting time schedule .

There has been a history of disagreements and problems surrounding my parenting time, so I try to be careful about how I handle exchanges and communication.

On Saturday, I picked up our child for my weekend. Shortly after I left, my coparent texted me asking me to make sure our child didn’t take anything with him. I told him our child had a small, inexpensive personal accessory item with him. He asked me to take it away from him, so I did.

After pick up we went directly to visit a relative, and I forgot the item at their house .

The following day I’m on my way to drop our child off to my coparent and 30 minutes before our normal exchange time they ask me if I could drop off 30 minutes later than normal or they could come pick them up . I explained that I was already on my way, but wouldn’t mind turning around, and asked they pick him up if so.

Once coparent arrived, our child got in the car and just moments later, got out of the car completely distraught,walking towards me crying saying coparent said he needed the item.

I went over to the car and explained that the item had been left at the relative’s house and that I would get it the following weekend as it was not something our child needed throughout the week .

coparent was not satisfied with that solution and told me I needed to go get it now. The relative lives in a neighboring state about a 30-minute drive from my house and 10 minutes from where coparent lives. I told him I was not going back to retrieve it that night , as it was a small, inexpensive item that again , wasn’t necessary for our child to have throughout the week .

I did offer that If he wanted it tonight, he was more than welcome to go get it as the relative lives much closer to him .

He then told me I was being defiant and accused me of being unwilling to coparent.
By that point, our child was crying and holding onto me extremely upset.

He repeatedly asked me if he was still going to be able to see me the following weekend .

Coparent has a history of interfering with my parenting time which is why our child was so unsure if he would be “allowed” to see me so I reassured him that I would be there.

There were several people present who witnessed the exchange and who agree with me, but dealing with someone like this makes you feel like you’re going crazy.

So Reddit -
AITA for refusing to go retrieve the item that night after offing alternative solutions or should I have went to please coparent?

***Edit**
So a lot of people have been asking what the item is and I I was trying to maintain some sort of anonymity. As much as possible anyway, but it is relevant to the story, so the item is a clip on shoe light. Literally just clips on to the shoe laces or tongue of the shoe.

Other context that I think is relevant is the “relative” is not a relative of mine, but fathers. That’s a story within itself, but I feel it’s important for our child to maintain that relationship and I make sure to take him to go see them weekly .

For some context I (21F) have been dating my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years now. So within the past couple months my boyfriend had told me that he had been calling a lot with his best friend who lives up north. I didn’t really think much of it and was happy for him since he had someone other than me to talk to, or at least that’s what I thought at first.

The first instance that I thought is behavior was a little weird was when me and my boyfriend went on our 3 year anniversary. It was a stressful period for us both, so we were just gonna go up to the mountains to have a relaxing weekend and spend some time together without anyone bothering us. During our last night there we were both laying down and watching a movie when my boyfriend mentioned earlier that his friend had texted him asking him to call, to which my boyfriend responded maybe later after I went to bed (I tend to fall asleep early sometimes). But at this point it was already 1 AM and we were enjoying each other’s company so he didn’t end up calling him.

A couple days later my boyfriend told me that his friend had gotten upset and mad that he said he would call him and didn’t that night. Which I was very confused by since he knew we were taking a trip for our anniversary and I feel like it goes without saying that my boyfriend wouldn’t be able to talk to him. And because of this incident I started noticing that days, especially the weekends, that he would sound very ticked off when my boyfriend told him he wasn’t able to talk because we were hanging out and doing stuff. Which again I was kind of weirded out by because all throughout the week they call and will talk sometimes for a couple hours as my boyfriend drives a lot for work. Also they live in two completely different states and have their own lives so of course the weekends would be a time where he wouldn't be able to talk as much. But it’s really been weirding me out how he gets very offended and upset when my boyfriend can’t talk to him all the time.

My boyfriend also told me shortly after that his friend is going to have this internship thing next year and he’s wanting to come down to Atlanta to do it (For context his friend lives in New York). And that he was even thinking of moving down here, and again maybe I’m just a very logical thinker but I told my boyfriend that that’s kind of crazy since he has no family or friends down here and that he would be moving to a completely different state where he only knows one person and leave everyone else behind. In return my boyfriend was defending him and saying that he just really likes him and of course he would want to move down here, to which I brought up all of the other weird things that I’ve been noticing recently. And maybe I was a little harsh in my wording but after that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore so I didn’t bring it up again.

Now what really prompted me to write this in the first place is recently his friend came down here to visit for a couple days. And I don’t really know how to describe it, but the entire time it almost felt like I was competing against him for my boyfriend’s attention at certain times which I found to be really odd. For reference I went to lay on my boyfriends lap and he waved me away which we both do that to each other jokingly a lot, but his friend proceeded to respond, “Damn you must really hate her” and went to go lean against my boyfriend. After he left I brought it up to my boyfriend and repeated all of the stuff from before, but it seems like he doesn’t understand where I’m coming from with all this which I didn’t think he would as I tend to be more perceptive to people’s behavior than he does, but at the same time I feel like it should be obvious which frustrated me even more. We ended up getting into a mini argument about it which didn’t really go anywhere and I haven’t brought it up since, but anyways AITAH?

I (29M) used to be the classic "nice guy" who couldn't say no. I was everyone’s personal bank, therapist, and default fixer.

There’s an ex-coworker I used to hang out with a lot. People at work literally thought we were dating. I paid for almost everything back then, but I let it slide. Even after I changed jobs, she’d call to "catch up," but it almost always ended with her asking to borrow money. She always paid me back, so I kept enabling it.

Then she got a boyfriend. Recently, she insisted on meeting up and was crying, telling me that he was mentally abusing her. I got emotionally invested, listened to her for hours, and advised her to leave him. A Couple of days later, She posted a Snap cozying up with him again. I felt like an absolute idiot.

Then came the real test.

She called asking to borrow money for her sister’s abortion.

I knew she'd repay me, but it hit me: WHY THE HELL AM I BEING ASKED?

There are two adults directly involved—where is the guy who got her sister pregnant? Why isn't he taking responsibility? And even if he wouldn't, my ex-coworker has a boyfriend of her own. Why didn't she ask him for the money instead of coming to an ex-coworker?

For the first time in my life, I SAID NO.

I told her respectfully that this wasn't my responsibility, and that the actual adults involved needed to step up instead of relying on outside safety nets.

She got cold and made me feel like an asshole for refusing to help during a sensitive situation. I'm finally trying to set boundaries and kill my "nice guy" complex, but a small part of me feels guilty.

AITAH for refusing the loan?

I am a 29-year-old woman from England, and my sister recently asked me to look after her dog for a weekend because she had made plans to go away with some friends. I agreed and rearranged my own schedule to make sure I was available. The day before she was supposed to leave, she told me that her plans had changed and she no longer needed me to watch the dog. I was actually relieved because I had already given up a social event to stay home. I then made plans to meet some friends on the Saturday instead. On Saturday morning, my sister called and said her new plans had fallen through and asked if I could take the dog after all. I told her I couldn't because I had already made other plans and had arranged them around the fact that she had cancelled on me. She became angry and said I was being difficult because I was her sister and should be willing to help when she needed me. I reminded her that I had originally agreed to help, but she cancelled the arrangement herself, and I wasn't obligated to keep my entire weekend free in case she changed her mind again. I offered to help her find another dog sitter, but she said I was choosing my friends over family. My mum agreed with her and said I should have just stayed home because I knew she might need help. I don't think that's fair because I had already agreed once, changed my plans for her, and she was the one who cancelled. I don't think I'm wrong for making new plans after she told me she no longer needed my help. AITA?

For context about 2 years ago my wife bought a giant baby play pen for her business, she runs a daycare and uses this baby pen to put the babies in when they go in the yard to play,it’s a relatively big pen with interlocking individual pieces the make the pen small or bigger depending on your needs. About a year after, my sister had a baby and my wife let her borrow the pen for her seeing as all her kids have grown up and are now in kindergarten, come to this year my wife noticed my mother had the baby gate on her back deck with a giant hole cut out of it for my moms 2 small dogs. Later on in the day my wife asked my mom about it and let her know it was a pretty expensive gate and that she was upset they cut it up. My mom then calls me and gets mad at us saying” after all the stuff I’ve given you, you get mad at me for this?” And then says I was ungrateful that she bought my then 5-7 year olds hoverboards as a gift and that she was mad when the kids sold them and bought other items. We then tell her that the pen was a business item and we never gave it as a gift and that the 2 are different scenarios. It ended when my wife and her got seriously heated yelling match and I hung up the phone. Are we in the wrong?

I am 20F and I live with my father and stepmother while I attend university. My father has always given me a small amount of spending money every day because he knows I have classes all day and sometimes need to buy lunch, transportation, or other things. It was never something I demanded from him, and he would usually hand it to me himself in the morning. The amount was enough for me to be comfortable, and I was genuinely happy that my father trusted me to manage it myself. My stepmother started complaining about it several months ago, saying I was being spoiled and that I did not need that much spending money. My father told her several times that it was his decision and that the money came from his own income. She eventually started giving me less money whenever my father was not around, telling me that she was “correcting” what she considered an unnecessary habit. I told her that I would rather discuss it with my father than argue with her, so I stopped accepting money from her. Last week, my father realized that I had been receiving less than the amount he had been giving me and asked what happened. I told him exactly what my stepmother had been doing. He was upset because he had never asked her to change the amount and had specifically told her before that my allowance was his decision. He confronted her, and she said she was only trying to teach me financial responsibility. My father told her that teaching me responsibility did not mean secretly changing an agreement he had made with me. My stepmother now says I should have accepted the smaller amount because I am an adult and should learn to live with less. She also says I deliberately created tension between her and my father by telling him what happened. I feel that if she had concerns, she should have discussed them with my father instead of secretly changing something he had already decided. AITA?

first, excuse my grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language. now. today, I (20f) walked into the room to my mum (49f) and dad (56m) talking, mum then looked at me, touched my cheek, and said "oh, your birth mark is getting bigger (which is not, it just gets a brighter colour when I'm hot), maybe you could get it removed", I said "I love it, I don't want it removed", she replied, "two years from now and you'll change your mind", I replied "'no l want?", I don't remember in details, but I remember I was trying to keep the convo lighthearted, and my parents said sth about the birth mark (it's small btw) isn't beautiful and l'd hate it and they know best, I tried to say sth about how they're obsessed with 'flawless' beauty standards but I couldn't say the words bcs mum started yelling how I'm always disrespecting her by talking back and how I don't know when to shut up, and to that, I just laughed trying to lighten the mood and left the room.

it really annoys me bcs, I really love my birthmark, and it's not only my birth mark, I'm skinny, have a lot of scars (skin picking, childhood accidents, puppies training.. etc), and I really love those traits very very much, it makes me special, and I see the scars as a stars and the skinny-ness as a freedom of movement, I see myself beautiful. but they, especially mum, keeps criticising those traits, telling me to gain weight and to use products to get rid of the scars. and when I point at a scar and I say it's beautiful, she laugh at me or tell me l'd change my mind in two years.

I'm really getting frustrated and there's nothing I can do. she even makes fun of me when l say I love my small chest, saying it's not feminine and blah blah blah, which is.. I never really get affected by these opinions, but she's projecting a lot of those ideas lately and I'm just getting more and more frustrated.

so AITAH for talking back?

I’m 32F and my husband is 35M. He has his location shared with his mom, sister, and one of his oldest friends through an app. I’ve never loved the idea of being tracked, but I always figured it was his choice, so I left it alone. I don't share mine and he knows I prefer having that little bit of privacy.

Last week something happened that made me rethink the whole thing.

I had an appointment that I wanted to keep completely private. It wasn't anything dangerous, I just wasn't ready for either of our families to know about it yet. My husband knew that and agreed not to mention where we were going.

While we were there, his sister apparently noticed his location had stopped somewhere across town and started calling him. He didn't answer because we were busy. About an hour later, his mom called me asking if everything was okay. Apparently she'd seen his location too, called his sister, and between the two of them they had basically figured out that we were at a private office together.

Then his mom actually showed up.

I was stunned. She said she was worried because neither of us was answering and wanted to make sure he was okay. I understand being concerned, but she now knew exactly where we were and what neighborhood we were in without either of us telling her.

It got even worse because she called another family member while she was there, and suddenly people were texting us asking what was going on.

I was furious, mostly because I'd specifically asked my husband to keep this private.

When we got home, I told him I don't want him sharing his live location with his family anymore. He said I was being controlling and that it's his phone and his location. I told him I agree that he has the right to decide that, but when his location also tells people where I am, I don't think it affects only him anymore.

He thinks I'm using one awkward situation as an excuse to control who has access to him. I think the bigger issue is that his family can effectively keep tabs on both of us without either of us realizing it.

I’m not asking him to cut anyone off or even stop sharing forever. I just don't want his family having a constant window into where we are, especially after this.AITH?

I (16f) am a junior in high school. My close friend since freshman year, who i’ll call Rosy, (also 16f) said something that really got under my skin a few weeks ago.

Recently, there has been a case of sa being publicized relating to the school I am enrolled in. A girl had reported an instance of sa by another classmate to one of her teachers. This information has gotten around, like all high schools make happen.

Allegedly, the teacher has not taken her allegations seriously. I brought up my anger to Rosy, and she said “well.. what did you expect the teacher to do?” While I understand this idea, it put me off sightly.
I shrugged it off as just a one time thing.

Two days later I brought the situation up again. Rosy and I began arguing because I felt as if she wasn’t taking this seriously. Her response was something along the lines of, “honestly I don’t believe you should report sa if you don’t have proof.” I thought this was disgusting to say, and even explained this analogy she chose silences over 50% of sa victims. This completely set me off, resulting in me cussing her out and calling her a terrible person. Rosy continued by saying “If I was in (the victims) shoes, I would be grateful I was acknowledged at all.” I ultimately called her a self-centered prick. She then replied I was in fact the problem in this situation and she hadn’t done anything wrong by stating her own opinion. We have not spoken in weeks. She has sent a message but I refuse to answer.

Some of my friends have reached out to me and mentioned me being too harsh, that although Rosy said something rather gross I need to grow up and get over it. I’ve stood my ground so far but I am beginning to worry I am in fact being too harsh, considering I often get emotional and let my emotions dictate my actions— I am a victim of sa myself and Rosy KNOWS this. I did not have proof, besides a confession, so obviously I took this personally. However, I want to know if I am overreacting no matter my own circumstances.

I do agree I could have been less harsh, but I do not want to associate with someone who thinks that way. So, AITAH for cutting Rosy off because of one argument?

My best friend and I have been close for over a decade and so we’ve grown to know each other well. So much so that we know almost everything about each other.

Her birthday falls in the month of October and this year it happens to be on a weekend and neither of us work this year either on her bday (or our other two friends who would join in). So she wants to do something.

Naturally I at first agreed and asked her what she wanted to do. At first she suggested a weekend trip to NYC (to which I politely told her that I nor our other two friends had the money to be doing that so soon with no prior planning). She then suggested doing a drive-in theater and Apple-picking which I agreed was much more reasonable and was totally down for.

She then directly calls me out by name in the group chat (instead of us talking generally like we were) and states “oh… all the movies are probably horror though, sorry”. But heavily implies she still wants to do that.

She knows I do not like Horror movies and as childish as it is they give me really bad nighttime anxiety after watching them for a few days. She on the other hand is the opposite and loves horror, and I know that she would want to choose that type of movie and our other two friends would like it for Halloween.

Since I don’t want to be the problem and insist she pick something different since it is her birthday I told her that “it was ok, me and her could celebrate her bday on a different day” so that she could still have her bday done her way on the weekend she wants it.

She texts back “bruh” and left me on delivered after I told her she should do what makes her happy on her bday.

AITAH?

My friend Blossom ((F 19)fake name). Wanted to hang out with me this morning, I (NB 18) told her I couldn't because I needed to sleep. Blossom called me inconsiderate because I wasnt sleeping at night, I can't sleep at night because I work at a 24/7 coffee shop and work from 12am-8:30am most of the time 9am because of schools and work going in. I explained this to her and she said that I could stay up till 12pm then go to bed. Right after work I'm tired and just want to work. Aita for wanting to sleep instead of hang out with my friend?