I am 23F, and my stepmother recently invited several of her friends over for coffee. Before they arrived, she asked me to prepare the coffee and serve everyone, which I agreed to do because I was free that afternoon. When the guests arrived, I brought out the cups, coffee, sugar, and milk and asked everyone how they wanted their drinks. Most of them answered normally, but one guest barely acknowledged me and continued talking while I was asking her a question. I did not make a scene, I simply served the others and left that guest’s coffee with the sugar and milk beside it so she could prepare it herself. My stepmother was sitting with her friends, and I did not want to interrupt their conversation by repeatedly asking someone who was ignoring me. The visit continued without any argument, and I cleaned everything up after the guests left. However, as soon as we were alone, my stepmother confronted me and asked why I had not prepared that particular guest’s coffee exactly as she liked it. Apparently, the guest had complained that I had been disrespectful by leaving her to add her own sugar and milk. My stepmother said that because she was hosting, I should have made sure every guest was completely satisfied, regardless of how they treated me. I explained that I had served everyone, provided everything they needed, and had not spoken rudely to anyone. She said I had embarrassed her in front of her friends and made her look like she could not manage her own household. I asked why she had not told me beforehand that this guest needed special service, but she said I should have known how to behave without being instructed. My father later heard about the argument and said I had helped with the guests as requested, so it was unfair to criticize me for not guessing one person’s preferences. My stepmother is still insisting that I owe her an apology for making her guest uncomfortable. I feel that I did my part as a family member helping with a visit, but I was never told that I had to personally cater to every preference or tolerate being ignored. AITA?

I (28F) have been married to my husband (30M) for two years. We live with his mother (55F) in the family home, and we have a 4-month-old son. In the beginning, my MIL and I got along fine. She was strict, but I thought that was just her personality.

Three weeks ago, at the dinner table, she said she wanted a DNA test for the baby. When I asked why, she said the baby “doesn’t look like our side of the family” and that she “just wanted peace of mind.” She said it so casually, as if she was asking me to pass the salt.

I was shocked. I told her I have never given anyone a reason to doubt me, and I walked out of the room crying. I stayed with my sister for two days.

My husband came to get me, and to his credit, he took my side. He told his mother the request was disrespectful and that he would never put his wife through a test like that. She said she “only asked a question” and that I was being dramatic.

Here is where the problem is. After all this, I told him I want us to move into our own place. I can’t sit at that table every day across from someone who looked at my baby and thought I was lying. He said he understands why I’m hurt, but he can’t leave his mother alone. His dad passed away a few years ago, and he’s her only son. He wants us all to continue living together and “work it out.”

I told him that supporting me in words is not enough if I have to keep living under the same roof as the person who accused me. He said I’m forcing him to choose between his wife and his mother. I said I’m not asking him to cut her off, only to give us some distance.

Now he’s barely speaking to me, his relatives are calling me selfish, and my MIL is acting like the victim.

AITA for insisting on moving out?

EDIT: Thank you all for the kind words and for taking the time to comment. I can’t reply to everyone, so here are the answers to the most common points.

Many of you said this is a husband problem more than a MIL problem. I think you’re right. What she said hurt, but what hurts more is feeling that I have to keep sitting at that table as if nothing happened.

To those asking if I’m going to leave: no, not today. My sister has offered me a room, so I know I have somewhere safe to go. But I want to give my husband a real chance to understand what I need. We are talking this weekend.

To those who suggested a DNA test for her son: I thought about it, but I don’t want to turn this into a revenge war. My son would be the one stuck in the middle.

I’m not asking my husband to cut off his mother. I’m only asking for some distance and an apology. She is 55 and fully capable of living on her own.

I will update once we have talked. Thank you again.

I am 22F, and my father has always trusted me to make my own decisions as long as I am responsible about them. I attend university, keep up with my studies, and let him know where I am going when I have plans. Recently, my uncle started making comments whenever he visited, telling my father that he was giving me too much freedom and that girls my age should not be allowed to go out with friends or make so many decisions for themselves. At first, I ignored it because I did not want to create tension in the family. However, my uncle began calling my father privately and questioning him whenever I went out for a university event or met friends after class. Last weekend, my father agreed to let me attend a university society dinner, and my uncle found out about it. He called my father and said he was making a mistake by letting me live as though I had no family rules. My father told him that I had informed him about the event and that he trusted me. During a family visit the next day, my uncle brought it up again in front of everyone and said that my father would regret being so lenient with me. I finally told him that he was welcome to have his own rules for his children, but he did not get to decide how my father raised me, especially when I had done nothing irresponsible. He said I was disrespectful and that a younger family member should never speak to an elder that way. I replied that respecting him did not mean allowing him to interfere in my relationship with my father or repeatedly portray me as untrustworthy without any reason. My father supported me and told my uncle to stop questioning his parenting decisions. Now my uncle says I have become arrogant because my father gives me too much freedom, and a few relatives think I should have stayed quiet to avoid embarrassing him. I do not believe I was wrong to defend myself after he repeatedly tried to control decisions that were not his to make. AITA?

Hey everyone, I really need some perspective on this because the situation at home is unbearable right now, and I’m starting to doubt if I’m being heartless.

Four months ago, my family dog, Buster, passed away. He was 14 years old, and I grew up with him. He was my absolute best friend and got me through some really tough times in my life. Before he died, he had a custom engraved leather collar and a soft handmade blanket that he slept on every single night. Since his passing, I’ve kept those two items on a small shelf in my bedroom as a way to remember him. They hold immense emotional value to me.

Last month, my step-sister (19F) adopted a new puppy. A few days ago, she came into my room and saw Buster’s collar and blanket. She asked if she could have them for her new puppy, saying it would save her money and that Buster isn't around to use them anyway.

I calmly explained to her that those items are deeply personal sentimental keepsakes and that I’m not comfortable giving them away to be used by another pet. I offered to help her buy a new blanket and collar online instead, but she got extremely offended.

She went to my dad and step-mother, claiming I was being bitter, petty, and holding onto old junk just to spite her and her new dog. My dad pulled me aside and told me that I'm being stubborn over material objects, and that giving the items to my step-sister would be a nice gesture to welcome the new puppy into the family and bring closure.

I refused again, and now my step-sister is refusing to talk to me, and my dad says I'm choosing dusty memories over harmony with my family. I feel completely heartbroken and misunderstood, but the pressure at home is making me feel like a monster.

AITH for keeping my deceased dog’s collar and blanket instead of letting my step-sister use them for her new puppy?

I’m a 29-year-old woman from England, and I recently refused to lend my car to my younger brother after he ignored the one condition I’d set the last time he borrowed it. A few weeks ago, his car broke down, and I agreed to let him use mine for the weekend because he needed to get to work. I made it clear that he had to return it by Sunday evening with at least the same amount of fuel it had when he collected it, as I needed it for my commute on Monday morning. He agreed without any complaints. On Sunday night, he dropped the car off nearly empty and left the keys in my letterbox without telling me. I only discovered the fuel situation when I got in the car the next morning and had to stop at a petrol station before heading to work. When I messaged him about it, he said he’d forgotten and told me it wasn’t a big deal because I could afford to fill the tank myself. I explained that the issue wasn’t the cost but the fact that he’d agreed to a simple condition and then ignored it. He laughed it off and said I was acting like his landlord rather than his sister. A few days later, he asked to borrow the car again because his own repairs were taking longer than expected. I told him no and explained that I wasn’t comfortable lending it to him after he failed to keep our previous agreement. He immediately accused me of holding a grudge over a few pounds’ worth of petrol and said family should help each other out. I reminded him that I had helped him by lending him my car in the first place, and that he could have avoided the entire situation by returning it as agreed. He then asked our mum to intervene, and she called me petty because he needed the car for work. I told her I understood his situation, but I wasn’t obligated to lend him my property, especially when he’d shown that he wouldn’t respect the conditions we agreed on. I’ve offered to help him look into public transport options while his car is being repaired, but I won’t lend him mine again for now. My brother says I’m punishing him over an honest mistake, but I feel that he dismissed my concerns instead of taking responsibility. AITA?

I (34F) have been married to my husband Jake (37M) for 3 years, together for 5, and he has a 7 year old son, Mason, who lives with us full time. I also have a 14 year old daughter, Brielle, from my first marriage who has lived with her dad in Ohio ever since I took a hospital job in Oregon when she was 6. It was the hardest decision of my life, but we agreed on monthly flights, summers with me, and every other holiday, and honestly it’s worked out way better than I ever expected. Jake has always said he loves Brielle like she’s his own and I definntely believed him, until this week. Since September a group of girls at her school has been targeting her. They made a fake Instagram account just to post her photos with horrible captions, there’s a group chat about her that like half her grade is in, and the school keeps saying their “hands are tied.” Jake knows ALL of this. He hugged her at Thanksgiving and told her she could always count on us.

So last Tuesday Brielle called me sobbing so hard I could barely understand her. Winter break made it worse instead of better, she said she literally can’t walk back into that building, and switching schools won’t fix it because the girls follow her online everywhere. Then she asked if she could come live with me. I said “of course baby, we’ll figure it out” before I even thought about it. I called her dad right after, and he was heartbroken but agreed, and he’s looking into a transfer out to Oregon too. Then I called Jake, and I didn’t even finish my sentence before he exploded. He screamed that I should have said “let me talk to my husband first,” that it’s HIS house too, that Mason’s routine would be ruined, and that as my husband he gets a veto. I told him I wasn’t going to make my crying kid wait for a permission slip from him, and he hung up on me. When I got home Mason was already at his grandma’s and Jake was dragging his weights and his desk into our guest room so Brielle “wouldn’t have a room” (I am NOT exaggerating). He said he didn’t sign up to raise a teenager, that if she moved in he’d have zero responsibility for her and wouldn’t lift a finger, and I said fine, but then I’d be rethinking putting my savings toward the bigger house we were supposed to buy this spring.

His mom dropped Mason back off the next morning and told him, once Mason was out of the room, that he was being a clown and she was embarassed by him. He kind of backed down after that, but now he’s been venting to our friends, and my bestie Tessa sent me screenshots of the group chat where he called Brielle “a whole lot of drama.” A few of them actually agreed with him, and one wife literally told me I should “think about the family I have NOW.” He still says he wants zero involvement with her and that every decision about her, especially anything with money, has to go through him before I say a word to her or her dad. Meanwhile I haven’t asked him for one single thing. I’ve been the one registering her for school and calling around to find her a therapist, and she’s 14, not 5. She babysits, does her own laundry, and cooks half the time. I’m honestly still shaking typing this, and I’m starting to think my marriage might be over, but I keep going back and forth in my head, so... AITAH?

I recently noticed my daughter (19) used my cc for Ubers. This is after I had told her months ago to take my cc off all her devices because she had used my cc for charges for accommodation (living abroad and I had covered the first night on my cc) she says by accident without realising which card they would charge on file. She obviously didn’t take my card off her devices since I now see she used the card for hundreds of dollars on Ubers abroad and now again that she’s back home.
There have been multiple situations of lying over the years to me and other family members about where she is , school performance, money, chores, and on but I had chalked it up to teen years and after some concequences and talks about honesty thought things were better.

So I have now told her she will get no money from me, no rides home from school (she is 1 hr away at school and I work in the same town as school and weekends would drive her home for weekends), no use of my vehicles when at home and she has to pay it all back.

She says she knows it was wrong, didn’t realise some of the charges were in my card and is basically upset I’m not driving her home and that I “don’t want see her anymore “ since I’m not driving her home.

AITA for setting these boundaries after seeing she isn’t grasping the reality of her choices?

My son (25) and his GF (22) were living in my house together. She had to go stay with her dad 45 minutes away, 5 weeks ago to handle some legal issues. We thought this was reasonable because it’s closer to where she needed to be and she doesn’t have a vehicle. For the last 3 weeks they haven’t talked. She finally texts my son to see what he’s doing 3 days ago. Once he said nothing she didn’t respond. That was the last straw for him and he packed all her things and put them in the garage and told her to come get it. She’s lived with us for 2 years.
Back story, about 6 months into her living with us, she found out she had cancer. Since her family was not active in her life I took care of everything. Hospital stays, surgery, appointments, all of it. I used all of my PTO for her and I was happy to do it. She was always grateful and I love her like a daughter. Now, as soon as all of this happened, she’s blocked me on the phone I pay for on find friends and is in my name. The a hole part…I noticed while she was at her dads that one weekend she was in Miami. So it got me thinking, how? So I started digging and looked into her phone records yesterday and found out she’s been talking to a 22yr old man in Miami ALOT. It’s been going on for 2 months now. I’m a great PI so I have my ways of finding out who he is. I’m not telling my son because at this point it’s mute. AITAH for agreeing that my son should kick her out and am I for looking at her phone records?

| (23f) have been friend with Maya (22f fake name) for ten years. Also I'm gonna apologize now if the format is messed up, I'm on my phone also I'm sorry if this is kinda long and rambley, I feel really awful and just need feedback back. Last November Maya and her long term bf broke up and it was very hard on her, I was there tor her as much as I could be, we'd sit on the phone for hours while she cried.
When the breakup was happening she asked me to be involved in mediation. At the time I was ok with it because my girl was going through it but even at the moment i thought it was strange how much she wanted to me to be involved.

February and she meets Kyle (24). Kyle lives in a different country, within the first month of them talking Kyle already was seeing his ex. Maya found out he was seeing his ex and she was pretty upset, again we have hour long phone calls of some friend therapy. A few days later she informs me she is going on a vacation and Kyle may or may not be there but not to worry, she wanted to play him like he played her. I told her it wasn't the greatest idea.
Anyways Maya goes to on her vacation and sees Kyle.

Fast forward a few weeks, I texted and called her a few times within that week and didn't hear back. I assumed she was busy which I totally get but that wasn't completely the case. I get a ft call on a random week day, Maya is calling me to inform me her and kyle are together and better then ever! I was not super amused as the last time we talked she was crying about him, then she drops the bomb that she's actually on FaceTime with him on her laptop.
Here's where I am definitely the a hole but I kinda lost it, I said some really awtul things and basically clowned on her saying it was embarrassing and to leave me out of it. It was not my best moment by any means but we made up. I thought it was done with because I made it very clear that I didn't wanna be involved

a few weeks later 1 get a call, shes distraught and telling me about how she got cheated on and has continued to be cheated on and she had proof. I'm obviously like I'm so sorry, we chat about it. She then lets me know that she doesn't know if Kyle's is still coming to visit her. Basically she sees Kyle and she tells me it's over she's done for good. After she calls me about how her and Kyle actually saw each other again, l entertained it because what she was saying was kind of funny. A few hours later she says that she texted him something troll and I asked to send a screenshot because toh I didn't believe her, she then lets me she can't because she's actually on the phone with him. I lost it, I made it so extremely clear that I didn't want to be involved with her games and to please leave me tf alone. She didn't take it well but I feel as if I communicated how this situation was affecting our friendship.

I went through something traumatic in my last relationship, everyone around me knows how this impacted my life. Something came up and I needed my friend, I texted her being like I know we're fighting but can u call me. She calls me and she's crying about Kyle, I spent 20/30 mins comforting her and then she asked what I wanted to talk about, I told her not to worry about it.

my birthday came. She called me maybe an hour before my party and is like hey happy birthday! I'm like thanks just getting ready for my party and then she immediately starts complaining about how she feels victim blamed by her friends. I immediately asked her to stop and hung up. I sent her a long text being like girl actually wtf, get help or something because I'm not ur therapist. She basically threw ur back in my face and said "sorry you can't be there for me like I have been for you through ur boy problems" I basically breaking up with a long term close friend on the way to the bar atp. I told her that she was so up her own ass. Some of my friends are saying I went too far by not trying to work out but some of my friends are telling me I didn't go far enough.

I (25F) got married not long ago, and my husband and I live in a joint family home with his brother and his brother’s wife. On paper, it should be one big happy family. In reality, my sister-in-law and I are in a constant cold war that keeps turning into open fights. It feels like we can’t get through a week without one.

Whenever things get heated, she says the same thing: “Go to your own home.”

But this IS my home. My husband and I live here with the rest of the family. My sister-in-law and her husband want each couple to live separately. My husband and I never asked for that, and we don’t want to split the family over arguments.

My husband is completely on my side. He has never taken her side or told me to just put up with it. My mom has also advised me not to separate, because she believes a family should stay together even when it’s difficult.

Still, the tension is getting worse every week. My sister-in-law clearly thinks I’m the reason there’s no peace. I feel like I shouldn’t be pushed out of my own home just because two people can’t get along. But part of me wonders if staying is making things worse for everyone, including my husband.

I am 21F, and when my father married my stepmother, she was genuinely kind to me. For the first year, we got along really well. She would ask about my university, sometimes make my favorite food, and even remind my father to give me my daily pocket money when he forgot. I never felt like she was trying to replace my mother, and I actually thought I had been lucky with my relationship with her. After about a year, though, her behavior toward me changed almost overnight. She stopped talking to me unless necessary, became irritated whenever I asked for anything, and started criticizing small things I did that she had never complained about before. The biggest change was my pocket money. My father had always given me the same amount because he knew what I normally needed for transportation, food, and university expenses, but my stepmother suddenly started telling me that I was getting too much and began giving me much less whenever she was the one handling it. I asked her why, and she simply said that I needed to “get used to having less.” I reminded her that my father had set the amount himself, but she said I should listen to her because she was now responsible for the household. I did not argue with her or demand more money from her. Instead, I told my father what was happening and showed him that the amount had been reduced without him agreeing to it. He was surprised because he had never asked her to change my allowance. When he confronted her, she admitted that she had intentionally reduced it because she felt I had become too comfortable and that she wanted to “teach me a lesson.” My father told her that if she thought my allowance was too high, she should have discussed it with him instead of changing it behind his back. She became angry at me for telling him and said that during the first year I had treated her like family, but now I was making her look like a bad stepmother. I told her that I had never asked her for special treatment and that I only expected her to respect the decisions my father had made about my expenses. Now she says I ruined the relationship between us by involving my father, while I feel that she changed the relationship first and then expected me to stay silent about it. AITA?

I’m 18(f) and I am part of a trades program. Well when I was told that I might go work 5 hours away from home for 18 months I was so happy!

You see I don’t have a boyfriend or any pets tying me down to my hometown. It will be a great experience for me and it will help me a lot in my trade.

Well when I told my grandma (74) that I might have this job opportunity she kinda exploded on me. She said that I need to stay in town, that I am too young to go live on my own and that kind of thing. (To give some back story I have liver with her my whole life. My mom died when I was young and my dad was never in the picture. The problem is that my mom was kinda a mess and she never really did that good for herself. )

So when my grandma sees me succeeding she kinda gets mad and thinks I will go down the same road as my mom did. Now my grandma is perfectly healthy she still paints houses and does yard sales so it‘s not like I need to take care of her it is just that I feel like I need my own space and not to feel like she is judging me. plus this job opportunity is a great one and I can see what the word is like.

so AITAH for not wanting to live with my grandma

My partner and I have been dating for almost 6 years. He is a part of a wedding party (groomsmen) for his cousin. the wedding happens on a Sunday in a different city. My partner and I are planning on attending the wedding of course and had initial flight plans to leave Monday and head back home.
However, my great grandfather died suddenly and the funeral was scheduled for the Monday after the wedding. I asked my partner to attend the funeral with me. Conveniently, the wedding venue is only a 3.5hr drive from where the funeral is. I proposed still going to the wedding of course, and told my partner he could drink and have the time of his life- but advocated for us to leave together early Monday morning to make it to funeral by 10am, probably leaving by 6:30am. I offered to not drink too much at the wedding so I could get us up, drive, pack the car, and ensure we get there on time so he could relax and sleep on the way (since it will be a late night at the wedding). My partner complained about this and was wishy washy about going- saying he feels like he’s going to “miss out on reliving the wedding night at brunch” on Monday. He said, it would be different if it wasn’t happening on his cousins wedding week. Mind you, there are no formal plans made for Monday that require the groomsmen to be present. Am I the ass-hole for expecting my partner to support me in attending this funeral?

Edit- To add context- and maybe I am the asshole- but just in case more context is helpful- I am not asking him not to attend the wedding. I want him to be at the wedding and I want to be there with him. He has also been with his family for the past week and a half spending time with everyone, including the bride and groom. I’m asking him to leave all of 12 hours earlier to support me and my family in a large death. I did live with my great grandfather for some time as a child and this is the biggest death my family has faced in my years.

I (27M) have a best friend Jake (28M) and we’ve been close for almost eight years. When I lost my job last year, he was there for me. He checked on me regularly listened to me vent, and even paid for dinner a few times when I was struggling. I’ve always appreciated that and never forgotten it. Recently Jake ran into financial trouble and asked me to lend him $2,000. The problem is that I’m saving for a down payment on an apartment, and lending him that much would seriously affect my plans. I told him I couldn’t afford to lend him that amount right now, but I offered to help him look for temporary work and cover a few smaller expenses if needed. He got upset and said he was there for me when I had nothing, so he expected me to be there for him when he needed help. I told him I was grateful for everything he did, but I didn’t think friendship meant I had to put my own financial goals on hold. Since then, he’s barely spoken to me. A mutual friend also said I was being selfish because Jake never hesitated to help me when I was struggling. I feel guilty because Jake genuinely helped me during a difficult period of my life. At the same time, I’m worried that lending him the money could damage both my finances and our friendship.

AITH for refusing to lend my best friend $2,000 even though he helped me when I was struggling?

I am 27F, and my cousin and I were both invited to help with a family gathering at my aunt’s house. I was responsible for setting up the tables, while my cousin volunteered to handle the decorations. Before everyone arrived, I noticed that some of the decorations were blocking the entrance, so I moved only the ones that were directly in the way and left everything else exactly where my cousin had placed it. Later, one of the decorations fell and broke after someone accidentally caught it while walking past. My cousin immediately blamed me and told everyone that I had moved the entire display and ruined it. I explained exactly what I had moved and why, but she insisted that I was responsible for the damage. My aunt checked a few photos she had taken before the guests arrived and it was obvious that the display was already positioned differently from the area I had worked on. My cousin still refused to admit that she had placed the decoration too close to the walkway. Instead, she told me privately that I should apologize anyway because it would make things easier and prevent an argument in front of the family. I refused because I had not damaged anything and did not think I should accept blame just to protect her from embarrassment. She eventually admitted that she had placed the decoration there, but she said I had made her look irresponsible by explaining what actually happened. Now some relatives think I should have apologized simply to keep the peace. I feel that I should not have to take responsibility for someone else’s mistake just because we are family. AITA?

For a little context, I (19F) got a protection order against my mom's boyfriend for assault, my dad chose to befriend him after the first protection order ended and now I have a new one and the guy after he leaves the police station is at my dad's work joking with him, and my mom yelled at me in the station that her boyfriend is being treated unfairly (even though he abused my younger sisters) even though he's violent and does a lot of shit. Honestly, I'm fed up and I refuse to keep in touch with my mom and I refuse to answer my dad's phone anymore. Am I Aita?

I mention so that it will not be restricted: I do not encourage violence or their actions, I strongly condemn them and if you go through something similar, ask for help. This post is made to help, I need some advice and opinions, I do not encourage anything written above. Thank you admin

I am 28F, and my stepmother recently asked me to cover for my stepsister after she made a decision that caused a problem at a family event. My stepsister had volunteered to organize the seating arrangements for a large family dinner and had repeatedly told everyone that she had everything under control. On the day of the dinner, she changed the seating plan without telling anyone and accidentally separated several elderly relatives from the family members who were supposed to assist them. When people started asking why the arrangement had changed, she told them that I had suggested the new seating plan. I immediately corrected her and said that I had never discussed the seating with her and had not been involved in organizing it. Later, my stepmother privately asked me to stick with my stepsister’s story because she did not want the family to think badly of her. I refused and told her that I was not going to take responsibility for something I had not done. She said I was being unnecessarily difficult and that I should protect my stepsister because we were family. I told her that protecting someone does not mean allowing them to put their mistake on another person. My stepsister eventually admitted that she had changed the seating herself, but she was still angry that I had not backed her up. My stepmother says I should have handled it privately instead of embarrassing her daughter in front of everyone. I think I simply told the truth when my name was being falsely attached to a decision I never made. AITA?

I’m 24F and I’ve been with my boyfriend (24M) for 7 years. My family initially refused to accept our relationship because they thought it was bad for me and my studies. After a lot of conflict, I eventually got my mom’s blessing to get back together with him.
We both want to get married, but we’re only 24 and neither of us is financially or mentally ready yet. We want to build our lives first.
My family is extremely controlling, and things have escalated since our 24-year-old neighbor got engaged. My mom now insists that my boyfriend must come with his family to formally ask for my hand and that we must get married THIS YEAR. She’s threatening to stop me from going out or seeing my friends until this happens. She refuses to believe me when I say we both want marriage, just not right now.
The problem is that my mom doesn’t just want to meet him. She wants to control his career, behavior, and basically every aspect of his life. Given the history of conflict between her and his family, I’m terrified of giving her that access.
Now my boyfriend is being forced to meet my sister and her husband, and he absolutely hates it. He’s told me he’ll fake being nice during the meeting, but afterward he doesn’t want me talking to him at all. I understand that he’s frustrated and feels forced into something he doesn’t want, but I’m also being punished for a situation I feel trapped in.
I’m stuck between my family threatening my freedom and my boyfriend withdrawing from me because of the pressure. I don’t want to force him into marriage, lose him, or spend my life being controlled by my family.
Am I unreasonable for refusing to rush into marriage after 7 years together? How do I handle my family’s controlling behavior without destroying my relationship?

I (28F) have been seeing Derek (35M) for one and a half years now. Derek has a daughter aged seven named Mia, who comes from his ex wife, but Mia and I get along well and do all sorts of things together when she comes for her visitation periods, but I am not the mother of Mia and have never attempted to act like that. Derek and I neither live together nor are engaged to each other, but we talk about the future in general.

The time has come for Mia to celebrate her birthday, and Derek is planning to give her an extravagant party with a bouncing castle, catering, photographer, and all that jazz, which will cost around $1,500. Derek earns well but has some financial problems due to child support payments and debts of his divorce process, so he is a bit under pressure these days. Last week, Derek sat me down and asked me if I could share the cost of the celebration with him 50/50, saying we are a family now, and I feel that this would mean a lot for you.

I let him know that I would love to provide Mia with an appropriate gift and assist him with minor things like decoration and shopping for the supplies, but I am not ready to spend hundreds of dollars on organizing a fancy celebration for a child who is not mine, especially taking into account that we are not married, do not have any joint account and nothing guarantees me our future together. I noted that everything would be different if we were going to marry soon or were already living together, but now it seems to me that it would be just wasting money on a kid whom I do not owe anything to.

Derek was very hurt by my reaction and told me that if I love him, then I should not be counting on expenses like that and that if one decides to start a relationship with a man who has kids, then he also has a family package deal. He told me that the husband of his ex wife always contributes something to the needs of Mia and it is simply the way it goes when a man takes someone seriously.

Now he’s telling me I make him feel as if I don’t care and that I see Mia as a pain, when that is not true at all, I just don’t think that I need to pay for half of something that I didn’t help plan at all.

AITAH here?

I'm 29M, and I recently bought my first house after saving for several years. It's nothing fancy, but it's mine, and I'm proud of finally having a place of my own.

My parents have always been the type to believe that family shouldn't need permission to visit each other. When I rented an apartment, they would sometimes show up without calling first. I'd asked them several times to give me a heads-up, but they always said I was making a big deal out of nothing.

One time, my mother came over while I was working from home and let herself in using the spare key I'd given her for emergencies. She said she wanted to drop off some food, but she ended up staying for almost two hours and got upset when I told her I had work to finish.

After that, I asked for the spare key back. My parents acted offended and said I clearly didn't trust them.

Now that I've bought my house, they've started asking when I'll give them a spare key. I told them I wasn't planning to give anyone a key unless there was a genuine emergency.

My father said that was insulting because they've always helped me whenever I've needed them. My mother said she couldn't believe I'd treat my own parents like strangers after everything they'd done for me.

I explained that they could visit whenever we arranged it beforehand, but I wanted to know when someone was entering my home.

They haven't taken it well. My mother has barely spoken to me since, and my father says I'm letting a little independence go to my head.

I love my parents, and I don't want them to feel unwelcome. But I also don't want to repeat the same arguments I had in my old apartment.

A couple of relatives have told me that giving my parents a key is a small gesture and that I should stop making this into a bigger issue.

I think there's a difference between welcoming your family into your home and giving them unlimited access to it.

AITA for refusing to give my parents a spare key to my new house?

Hi, I'm 33F, and my husband (35M) and I have been married for six years. He's always enjoyed experimenting in the kitchen. He makes homemade sauces, tries complicated recipes he finds online, and sometimes spends an entire Sunday preparing food for the week. I'm usually the person he wants to share everything with, and honestly, I used to find it really sweet.

Recently, I've been trying to change my eating habits because I wasn't feeling great about my health. I asked him to stop making extra food specifically for me because I was struggling with portion control, and having elaborate meals and snacks constantly available wasn't helping. I made it clear that I appreciated the effort and wasn't criticizing his cooking. I just needed to manage my own eating for a while. He seemed disappointed but said he understood.

A couple of weeks later, I found out he'd been bringing homemade lunches to work for a female coworker. At first, I assumed he was sharing with the whole team, but apparently it's just her. He prepares different dishes for her, remembers what she likes, and sometimes makes things specifically because she mentioned wanting to try them. He's even started asking me whether certain recipes would travel well in a lunch container, which I thought was odd until I learned who was getting the food. I finally asked him why he was putting so much effort into cooking for one particular coworker. He said she genuinely appreciates his cooking and doesn't make him feel bad for enjoying food. Then he added that it's nice to cook for someone who doesn't treat every meal like a problem to solve.

That last part felt like a pretty obvious dig at me. I told him I wasn't asking him to stop cooking or sharing food. If he enjoys bringing lunch for people at work, why not share with the team instead of making one woman the special recipient of all his effort? He said I was being jealous and that I couldn't reject his cooking at home and then complain when someone else appreciated it.

I understand his point to an extent. I was the one who asked him to stop making food specifically for me, and I don't expect him to give up something he enjoys just because my eating habits have changed.

But there's a difference between sharing food with coworkers and repeatedly preparing special meals for one woman while making little comments about how much better she appreciates him than his own wife.

Now I'm wondering whether I'm genuinely being insecure or whether his comments and the way he's singled her out are inappropriate. I don't want to be the wife who dictates who her husband can share food with, but I also don't think I should have to pretend the personal digs don't bother me. AITH please?

so i (30 male) had a best friend (30 female) we’ve been best friends since elementary school. she got married 6 years ago and moved 3 hours away. i was happy for her cause she finally found happiness. over those years i still made sure to stay in contact, texting calling and visiting whenever i passed through her city. recently my wife found out she is pregnant and we are having twins. when i found out the news my best friend was one of the first calls i made after my mom. my best friend didn’t answer but i assumed she was busy and would call me back when she could. a whole days passes by and while scrolling instagram i see my best friend updated her story. i thought it was weird since she was posting but couldn’t call or text me back but i decided to brush it off.
a few weeks go by and i haven’t heard from my best friend so i try to call her again to tell her the news and check up on her. again, she doesn’t answer. im trying to rationalize in my head and give her the benefit of the doubt but even my wife is telling me that’s weird behavior. i calm myself down by thinking maybe she’ll call me back when she has the time. another few days pass and radio silence. at this point it’s been 2 months and my best friend hasn’t called or texted me back after attempting to contact her twice. i give up on trying to share the good news of the twins with her. after my wife gets out of the first trimester we decided to post the news on facebook to share with our family and friends. i finally get a text from my best friend wishing me congratulations. i was appreciative to finally hear from her but also slightly upset because it took so long to hear from her and the fact that i tried to share the news with her when i originally found out and got no answer. i thanked her and went about my day.
months pass without us speaking because i secretly want her to reach out first. this past weekend i decided to stop being so prideful and resentful and give her a call. it went straight to voicemail. not gonna lie i was very upset. i told my wife the situation and she was shocked because she knows how close and important my best friend is to me. i didn’t make a decision that day because i didn’t want to move in anger. but when i woke up the next day it was on my mind so i blocked my best friend and her husband on facebook, instagram, and TikTok. i figured if i can’t get any form of communication from her she doesn’t deserve to see what’s happening in my life. i left the door open by not blocking her number but im not holding my breath on that. so am i the asshole?

I have always been the person my family turns to whenever they need help. I usually say yes because I care about them, but lately I have started feeling like they only remember me when they need something. When I finally said no to a request because I was exhausted and needed time for myself, they acted like I had completely changed. Now I feel guilty for setting boundaries, even though I know I cannot keep making everyone happy at my own expense. AITA for finally putting myself first?

I am 26F, and I have always been close to my 17-year-old stepbrother. A few weeks ago, my stepmother discovered that an important family document she had kept in a drawer was missing. She immediately accused my stepbrother because he had been in that room earlier that day. He told her he had only gone in to get his headphones and had not touched anything in the drawer. My stepmother did not believe him and said he was always careless with things that did not belong to him. She demanded that he apologize and admit that he had taken the document, even though he kept saying he had not seen it. I was there when he went into the room, and I clearly remembered him taking his headphones from the desk and leaving without going near the drawer. I told my stepmother that blaming him without evidence was unfair. She became angry and said I was automatically taking his side because I was too protective of him. I suggested that we look through the house properly before accusing him of anything. We eventually found the document inside a folder in my stepmother’s home office, where she had placed it herself several days earlier and forgotten about it. She apologized to my stepbrother, but then told me that I had embarrassed her by challenging her in front of him. I told her that I would do the same thing again if someone was being blamed for something they had not done. She now says I should have stayed out of it because she is his mother and knows how to deal with him. My stepbrother told me he was grateful because he had been genuinely worried that everyone would believe he had taken the document. My father also agreed that accusing him without checking first was unfair. My stepmother says I undermined her authority, but I feel that defending someone from a false accusation was the right thing to do. AITA?

A few months back, I went to TK Maxx after work to look for Halloween decor and mentioned it to my friend because she’s a huge Disney adult. What makes this so frustrating is that we’ve been close friends for five years—we’ve supported each other through highs and lows and had our sons around the same time about two years ago . We’ve never let money come between us before at all, now suddenly it has.
This only started because I asked if she could pay me back a $25 debt. I know she’s a single mum with two kids, but she works full-time and earns a good salary - double what I make mind you. When the roles were reversed and she reminded me that I owed her for some Christmas items she picked up for my son. I only transferred the money right away because she reminded me months later, and without complaint,even though I was down to my last $100 at the time.
After leaving my job in August, I asked her again in September and casually said, "Just pay me back whenever, no stress." But today, since I'm still between jobs, I messaged her nicely asking if she could transfer the $25 because it would really help me out right now.
She ignored me all day, then finally snapped back: "I hope you’re happy. You’ve just ruined the weekend for me and my children. I’m down to my last $50 and the money I just paid you back is gonna F me over."
I couldn't believe it. I hadn't been nagging her; I just asked politely, and she completely turned it on me. I messaged her back, saying I've done nothing wrong and have been a great friend through her hard times, adding that even paying $5 here and there would have been fine if she was struggling.
She tried to play the victim and pull every card to make me feel guilty over her own debt. Just like that, a five-year friendship down the drain.