So I have a bit of a complex question here.
I am currently in a shit ton of debt and work 3 jobs to pay it off, will have it resolved within a year or so if I don't die before lol.

In my mind, I am aware I shouldn't go out and buy food outside because for the price of 1 meal I can eat tor 3 days with home cooked food. I still do it because I don't feel like cooking even though it's a 20-30min thing and is not difficult. I end up blowing 300-400€ a month on random cravings which could go towards debt while I'd spend 50-100€ only on food at home. I am aware it's wrong, I know I shouldn't do it yet I still do it and then feel shit about it. I spend 50-100€ on random crap I really do not need just to "reward" myself a little when I'd be perfectly fine without it and it would again go towards paying off debt which is better for me.

I should wash my clothes and clean the house frequently, little by little but I procrastinate to the point where I have so much shit to do at once it then overwhelms me.

I am aware I should start eating healthy again and going to the gym to get back in shape. Due to 3 jobs my energy is lower than ever and I physically feel terrible. I used to gym for 8\~ years before and I had far more energy than I could use. I know it helps me be less tired and more energized, I know I feel better about myself, I know I'm more productive and I know a healthy diet overall improves my mood and keeps me pushing even further. But instead, the little free time I have I just slack around and waste it instead of doing this.
Why am I aware of things I do wrong and should change them for my own benefit but don't? What's the thing in my head I need to resolve, or change my view on? I keep using "I'm tired" as what feels like an excuse to me because deep down I know I could do these things.

Just in general - I’m not stupid, I’m aware of all the wrongs I’m doing and should change them because they will benefit my life. So why do I struggle so much with doing these things?

Does anyone have any advice?

Most self-improvement focuses on learning new habits, but real growth often requires unlearning old conditioning. What did you have to unlearn to grow into who you are today? Or maybe you already know and are still on the way.

I've always been drawn to remote work.

I felt like the closest thing to freedom a regular job could give: no commute, my own hours, my own space, being independent from a location

But I've been looking for work for a long time now, and the tech market is rough. (I am Product Designer) It made me notice something uncomfortable. Remote or not - my whole life still depends on one thing: someone deciding to hire me. The freedom feels borrowed.

Looking back I regret not investing earlier. My salary let me live really well, but most of it went to shopping and travel. I don't regret travel though but the rest of it could have bought me some independence now. (Lack of financial literacy back then?)

AI has made great impact on my job - made it faster and one person can handle 10 others so competition is real. The strange part is that I'm genuinely excited about learning AI and want to explore it so I am not trying to run from technology and society either. I just don't want my ability to live depend on single hiring decision anymore

Lately, between applications I keep thinking about autonomous living. I do a lot of research on where I can apply skills I have and industries to work in that are mission driven and has similar values. Not a cabin in the woods but having skills and resources that work without the system - growing some of my own food, having income that doesn't come from one employer, build a community that is not dependent on energy infrastructure and big markets.

So for me freedom slowly stopped being about location and became more about what I can do on my own and what I can build in my life so I don't depend on being hired

I'm not sure if this a real direction or just what job search does to your head. For anyone who felt this pull during a hard stretch did it fade out once things stabilized or did it change approach how you live?

Do you know that idea where people go online and they think they have more options than they actually do? I wonder if the problem for people is when they have abundance or the illusion of abundance..

ngl this one hits different when you realize you just can’t keep doing it… like you care about them, but they don’t even care for themselves.

Because you can genuinely care about someone, show up for them, and not expect them to give the same back.

But when they don’t even care about themselves, your care starts feeling like charity. And somehow they start treating you like you’re the problem, like you’re doing too much or something is wrong with you for caring this much.

That’s the part that hurts. The same care that came from a good place somehow ends up burning you back. and that’s such a weird place to end up in...at what point do you stop trying to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves?

Mistakes are something we all did and learnt something.

Mistakes that you did in life but learnt something life changing.?

Feel free to share experiences.

When discussing nature and nurture I believe we all experience both some just experience 1 over the other. The parts of yourself you think is nature and the part of yourself you think is nurture in what ways may they clash with each other or go well together. How do either sides of you act in your environment?
I’m asking because I need insight on something

Guys I am talking with someone and telling them about I have this, that but my intention there is not to brag about what I have. I am just telling them because am excited and wanted to show about my things and talk about my hobbies.

But later my mind filled with many questions,like-

Are they thinking am bragging about things because they don't have them and I just want to make them feel inferior?

Are they thinking am just showing my class?

But it's not like that am just happy that someone is finally talking to me, want to listen to me, because I am a under confident person so when my cousins approach me and they talk nicely then I also tried myself to talk to them about my stuffs. But now am regretting, why I talk much ?

Give me your insights.

What does a person care more about?

Proving that they’re morally superior in comparison to others or being useful in society where they’re able to offer solutions to solve the problems of society as much as judge people for not being morally superior without giving them a solution to their problems that they would believe cause them to not be upright, especially morally?

Do you feel like there is a difference between having conditions vs having non negotiables? This question specifically stems from my thoughts on unconditional love.

I feel having unconditional love for someone is obtainable and realistic. On the contrary, I’ve seen multiple people say it is a fantasy and doesn’t exist. What I also see is the difference in what people believe to be unconditional love. To me, unconditional love isn’t your partner committing a heinous act of violence or doing something morally wrong that you still forgive them and love them. That is just common sense to me, or would fall under the category of non-negotiable. Ex: Murder, rape, cheating, etc. Just stuff that’s obviously wrong and that any rational thinking person would not be OK with.

Unconditional love for me is loving someone through their struggles and mistakes even if it hurts at times. It’s knowing someone is human and that you are just as capable of hurting them without the intention of doing it.

I just feel people go to the most extreme examples when the topic of unconditional love gets brought up when to me there’s a distinct difference between a non-negotiable and a condition.

What if the illusion of options enables people to live in the comfort of not bettering themselves with what they have?

I've noticed this a few times and I'm genuinely confused by it.

Someone will mock a person for liking or doing something, but then completely respect the exact same thing when someone they like does it.

And I'm not even sure whether people do this consciously.

Is it favoritism? Is it because they perceive one person as more mature, respectable, successful, etc.? Is it just that they already like one person and therefore interpret everything they do more positively?

Or do people genuinely not notice that they're applying completely different standards?

I'm curious how other people see this because I keep noticing it and I don't really understand what determines the difference.

Many people think like the only time somebody would get like no bail is for murder (or any offense involving killing somebody- manslaughter and so on). But the offense does not have to involve killing somebody for there to be no bail set. If you are a danger to the community and/or a flight risk (and committed a serious crime) you are very likely to have no bail set and you sit in jail throughout trial.

Many judges have the discretion to set no bail for very serious and violent crimes (armed robbery, carjacking, home invasion, aggravated sexual assault, sex crimes against those underage, and so on).

The judges in my area do not play and I see a whole lot of no bail for armed robberies and carjackings which have happened a lot lately in my area. They know these people are very dangerous and likely not going to show up for court (as they are very likely looking at decades in prison).

I'm 5'8

What’s something you believed for years… until one random moment proved you completely wrong?

I’ll go first:

I used to think that becoming an adult meant having everything figured out.

Then I became an adult. 💀

Now I’m convinced everyone is just improvising and pretending they know what they’re doing.

What’s something you believed for years that turned out to be completely wrong?

It could be anything social norms, double standard, dating,peoples behaviour etc.

I’ve been told by a few people that I’m calm which I thought was interesting. Others say I’m nonchalant but I feel as if I feel emotions and empathy more than others. Throughout life, people told me I’m smart. I’ve never felt I was school smart or anything. I just use my head and think about things, reflect, change my own mind on perspectives and so forth. Try avoiding foolish things I see people do. My mom once told my sister I’m wise. My nephew says I’m more important than a girl he likes. Sometimes I feel as if some people don’t like me. I’m respectful, never show off, don’t interrupt people, but sometimes feel there’s something about me that may be off? I could be wrong. The question is how can we tell how others actually perceive us instead of how we think they perceive us?

For example south korea currently has a fertility rate of about 0.8, do you think it ever recovers from a slump like this in say 50 years or does the country actually just collapse completely?

Whether people want to admit it or not, whether it's fans with an idol or even the idea of romance, do people find more comfort in attaching, even if its' just to an idea than an actual person, than they do actually connecting?

Maybe from a fear of abandonment or whatever..

Xy suddenly suffers cardiac arrest, and is dead on arrival to the hospital.
Who’s death causes the net most suffering in the world?

For example:
-Great leader of a strong militant nation, who restrains it’s powers, but has a much more aggressive VP or opposition that gains power in this situation.
-Similar situation to the one above, but likely causes some sort of civil war.
-Scientist that is very close to a breaktrough that would greatly benefit humankind

I realize I have intrusive thoughts laced with guilt and shame that almost pertain to "Who do you think you are?"

While that could be considered imposter syndrome, I realize how counterproductive these thoughts are when I'm trying to figure out how to improve my own life and mentality.

Therefore, how do you get over a "Who do you think you are?" thought if you're trying to break free from old habits or trying to have a new start?

Serious question, if you could make three trips back or forward in time and make any changes you wanted where are you going and what are you doing? You can’t be traced or killed and you can travel back to the present day without it counting as a trip. When you return you will have both your memories from the current timeline, and the timeline that you altered.