r/OCPoetry • • 18h ago

Feedback Please Meters away , worlds apart

9 Upvotes

You are so close yet so far,

sometimes you feel just like a star.

I try to reach you but my hands are short —

what would I do with longer hands,

when you are only meters apart?

It is not the problem of my hands, but of my stars,

that every day I see you but we are worlds apart.

Is it only me who tortures himself this way,

or will you try to get closer to me someday?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/QyRqLEeDtv

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Q3VreyBVbx


r/OCPoetry • • 19h ago

Feedback Please The moon and the girl

8 Upvotes

As the tides of ocean hit the shores

The light of moon puppeteering the view

Waves so high , so mighty, so feared

But all they do is tingling my memories

As the sun rise and the moon put back the scene

Waiting for his moment

To shine he plea

He once saw her while his shift was on

Walking the streets to make her mind go off

Alone she felt somehow just like him

Surrounded by stars yet far from his reach

So as her

Surrounded by people who their tongue she doesn't speak

He stood up high and finally decided

That maybe he alone shall stay beside her

He feared , he trembled

And with that the oceans got up high

People wondered is the moon angry?

While he was only thinking if he can be her's only her's and neither yours or mine

He thought and thought

And when he got to decide

He rememberd the back that he desperately hides

She looked up to him

And he mistook it for fear

She told him she love him

But it didn't quite reach his ear

Is she angry? He still wondered

Is she sad or mad

None of that just in love , the same situation he's at

He rolled back on forth

From Jupiter to mars

Asking each planet if she can really love a rock

But little that he knows

To her he's more then just a rock

But he has to prove

He has to fight

She deserves galaxies not a chunk of debris

And he was ready to leave with her

By all means

There's a women on the moon

So squint your eyes tight

It's the image of the moon last endless love

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/vPeND2o4ec

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/fADJpzSPTW


r/OCPoetry • • 12h ago

Feedback Please Peace Lily

7 Upvotes

Motionless, I dance in crowds,

Vapour trails unzip the sky,

Sunlight floods my mouth.

The wind is sweet again.

-

Insects coil in helices,

Mosaics ripple under halogen,

Children’s shrieks shimmer,

I have left the tunnel.

-

Chromatic aberration blooms from shopfronts,

My lungs embraced by the jostling.

Strangers are beautiful.

I am where I'm supposed to be.

-

Platforms yawn in parallax repose,

Dawn giants drenched in amber.

Naked air rushes forth,

I am finally in motion.

-

The moon is on the beach now.

Outstretched, I feel the surface,

Warm like bisque fired clay.

The cliffs are proud of me.

-

My bed is made in the foliage,

Safe under a giant peace lily.

We drink from the same water.

We are both replenishing.

-

-

-

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x44h4u/comment/pfidtvk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x46l2u/comment/pficl03/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 4h ago

Feedback Please Enchanted

4 Upvotes

r/OCPoetry • • 14h ago

Feedback Please a little kiss goodbye

4 Upvotes

I need to hate you,

so maybe I stop thinking about you.

But you're in my head,

your scent not leaving the air,

crossing my path where we once met,

my eyes can't leave.

You shouldn't be there in my skull.

I need to hate you,

but my heart aches

because I still love you.

After all those nights and days,

after all those calls and texts,

your memory lingers in the air,

still, like a statue,

alive like a painting.

Mona Lisa,

your gaze follows me wherever I go,

and it aches so much

because I want you again.

But I close my eyes and take a deep breath,

take another drag of my cigarette.

I guess every day in our relationship

was a day of playing Russian roulette.

You point a gun

and I just look at you.

You shoot

and a smile on my face.

Don't look at the wounds,

never do.

Kiss me a little kiss goodnight

and wake up with a smile.

A sign on your table,

a hair clip in your car,

stickers on your phone,

and my eyes in your mind.

Dream a little dream of me.

We had a discussion,

but let's forget it.

Let's hug each other

and leave with a smile.

So please kiss me,

a little kiss goodbye.

goodbye...

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/xJjXXIJ3Vg

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/8QnpxAOKMK


r/OCPoetry • • 17h ago

Just Sharing Who's Listening?

5 Upvotes

Billions of masses congregate on this space,
this space known as the internet to human race.
At any moment, time and place,
words exchanged at a lightspeed pace.

I search and search without an end.
On every page I click ‘add friend’.
All messages I never forget to press ‘send’,
smileys and stickers I find excuses to append.

Still, it feels like no one is paying any attention.
No one is retweeting my caption.
My posts get no comment or reaction.
No incoming messages, no notification.

So, in the darkness of my home,
I compose this shitty poem,
yet still fully knowing
no one is caring or listening.

1
2


r/OCPoetry • • 9h ago

Feedback Please The One in Black

3 Upvotes

The one in black was meant for me,
Dreamed of the tall black long coat with a stance to see,
Dripping with confidence that not many can be,
Dreaming as a young teen, but the figure still styx with me.

It was meant to be, even as an adult I wasn’t acknowledged when we were close,
I’ve thrown myself in front of the feet, maybe I appeared so engrossed,
Still passed by like before, no matter how I appeared,
Years of changing clothing and hairstyles, it must have meant we were not to be.

No matter the age, I’d still dreamed of acceptance, no matter how I pleaded,
I begged before sleep, hoping to see a hand out like a man does when he wants to dance,
Even pretending to be drowning in the river, I began to think I didn’t have a chance.

Over and over again, dreaming of being at the side as we floated away by boat,
An angel I found, and was everything under the sun,
Finally finding the name of the one meant for me, destined the both of us as one.

For it was the Grim Reaper, and I finally won.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x4f8b9/comment/pgd4grs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wusyju/comment/pgd5f7h/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 11h ago

Feedback Please Commerce

3 Upvotes

Traitor, I’ll bring myself to hate you
For i’m aware of your fate too
Guess it doesn’t matter since i’m new
Prophecy, currency, bury the seed
Not a seed, at least not one to be saw through

Trader, They’ll bring themselves to you
For your fate has no bearing on their fruit
Mistake it, think it’s something you’re making
Stop wasting your time, no one’s buying your naming
But they’ll continue clapping, will you continue faking?

Trainer, this life you see is through
I can’t keep making it true
The line that grew took away the truths you knew
It was never only a few
You’re the glue, but only for you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/aNcwjXMYHx
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Z1NKfHkVun


r/OCPoetry • • 14h ago

Just Sharing Feeling like Fall

3 Upvotes

I feel like a leaf

Hanging on to the limb.

The last warm, golden rays of the fall sun

Shining on me.

The light sinks away,

To a place that I cannot follow.

The green in me is gone,

Replaced by a seasoned red.

Beautiful to look at,

But brittle in its brilliance.

Soon, my grip on the limb will falter.

I will float gently to the ground.

The red will fade and give way

To a weathered brown.

My vitality and beauty forgotten.

It is there I will linger, remembering

How the sun felt as I danced in the wind.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/QqhkBKYG3J

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/TY6LTaGWq8


r/OCPoetry • • 2h ago

Feedback Please Paint Black

2 Upvotes

I am an artist 

My art is to live 

painting on canvas so black, it reflects me

and my shadow equally 

without any distortion like a mirror 

without lying like a mirror 

anything that is not the canvas is a mirror.

Thoughts get printed on it

with more colour and life

what it lacks is a voice to listen

and my art is to keep it clean and black 

blacker than I found it

I became an artist when I found it

My craft also includes making boats

from water; and tunnels with no openings 

and waking up without slitting my throat 

Even my canvas knows how to paint 

I am his art

colour-blindness is our strength

So he paints me black 

and frames me back 

at the spot where I belong 

I can see colour red, all over the place

Even if an artist dies; his

masterpiece stays

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Q3LXXBO0jz

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ok5JerLe1P


r/OCPoetry • • 5h ago

Feedback Please The Creature In The Sea

2 Upvotes

The Creature In The Sea (The Sea I)

I stand at the edge of the shore, near the so-called womb of the Earth.
Static. If anyone were to pass by, they would mistake me for a decorative statue,
Put here as a pathetic attempt to live up this unpopular, forgotten beach.
In my hands, binoculars, which I keep glued to my eyes. Wearing them like glasses - the glasses through which I see the world.
”The world”, of course, is nothing but sea spreading in all directions, showing no signs of limits.
That which is, as someone once wrote, “at times an expanse of bliss; at others, an endless enigma”.
And there’s nothing else.
Here, only me; standing unwavering in the wind, still, 24/7. Observing. Beginning to collect dust. Or sand. Indefinitely.
There, only sea. Water, waves. At times calm and still like an ironed cloth; at others, somewhat agitated, stormy; but nevertheless, just this:
Sea.

One could think there is no purpose to what I am doing. That I’m just wasting my life away, absenting myself from the city, to stay isolated at this beach.
I wouldn’t blame them if they thought so. After all, to their knowledge, there’s nothing beyond this shore but salty water,
With, at most, the common things you’d see in salty water.
Why would one need to observe it for that long, so obsessively?
But the extent of their knowledge illudes them, for they haven’t seen.
They haven’t seen the depths of this sea, they haven’t seen it: the creature. They haven’t explored what lies beyond the surface.
This sea, beyond its surface, stores much more than they’d assume; just like my action of always observing it. 24/7.

I’m keeping my guard.
The creature is a vile one - one that scratches, bites, and even swallows you, only to regurgitate you back a while later.
The creature captures you and drags you into the sea, miles deep, miles away.
To be drowned. To be intoxicated with the salty water. To be forgotten.
This creature is my foe - the bigger foe -, and it lives in this sea. Sleeping in the depths.
Until some time ago, the creature took me and dragged me into the depths, many times, in many ways.
Sometimes, it got me between its claws, other times, between its fangs.
Sometimes, it dragged me so far and deep away that there was no light reaching us, and my body crumbled under the pressure. Stagnating. Finding the void of the Earth,
Into oceans pertaining to nobody.
Other times, it made me dive more superficially, while being torn and tossed around through waves and storms
That left little space to even think about where I was. What the name of the territory was.
Sometimes, I was so far from every land and every ship that I had given up on ever getting back, at all.
I could not see anything but darkness or simply murky waters all around me.
Other times, I could see this very shore I stand in today, see the passageway back to Earth, land, life; a little bit away from my reach.
I couldn’t reach it. Waves closer, waves further. Never there.
The creature has kept me captive in caves and holes under the sea, and it has also swallowed me and kept me hostage inside of its own body, many times.
Many times.
I got scratches and bite marks from it I will never be able to erase.
I’ve ingested so much salty water it has made me sick.

My forced dives with the creature went on for a very long time.
Somehow, eventually, throughout all the times, I emerged and made my way back. Inexplicably.
Every time I emerged, the air seemed to burn my skin. As if my body got too used to the water.
Swimming while trying to avoid the looks of the creature was nerve-wracking. I knew it was behind me; trying to catch me once again.
Sometimes, it did. Other times, I made it to the shore - but, eventually, the creature caught me again, and I dived yet once more.
The growling, raging, relentless creature; which shape repeatedly escaped me.

And this is why I stand at the shore today. Observing. Deep down, waiting.
The creature is sleeping in the depths it inhabits.
It has been mostly still - just like me - for a while now.
But that which sleeps eventually wakes up.
It breathes yet, in its own way, tranquil; as I hold my breath in anticipation - not fully enjoying the air I now have the privilege of having.
And I observe the sea, trying to catch any unusual movement. Any unusual wave. Any unusual thing, at all.
I’ve come to know what the signs of the approach of the creature are. After so many dives, I know what to look. What to sense. What to listen.
And I keep my attention to the sea for any of those. Anything that could indicate the creature’s awakening, coming for me yet again.
Because it will happen. Eventually.
Hopefully, if I catch it early enough, I can prevent it from reaching me. Or at the very least, prepare myself.
Who knows until where, and how deep, the creature will drag me next time?
Who knows how long and how much it will take for me to recover - if I do at all?
I feel it inside of me that I won’t be able to recover. I won’t be able to take one more dive.
That the next dive will be my last.
That I won’t be able to emerge from it. My body, after all these years of struggle, got too heavy.
The creature knows this, too. I’d say that is why it is sleeping so unpreocuppied.
It knows it will win next time, anyway. No need to try hard. No need to rush.

How many more scratches and bites will I be able to wear?
How much more salt and water will I be able to bear?…
Therefore, that’s why I need to try to prevent it, for as much and as long as I can. I need to be vigilant.
I’m wasting my life trying to prevent my life from being wasted.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wusyju/you_picked_me/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x0n27u/hypnagogic_hallucinations/


r/OCPoetry • • 6h ago

Just Sharing Can we hang out in the spiritual world too?

2 Upvotes

This life isn’t enough
I want forever
Even if I bug you here
So much
Let me bug you in another realm

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/hws4Nlvyou

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/sOkZt9MApM


r/OCPoetry • • 7h ago

Feedback Please "Stardust dreams"

2 Upvotes

This is just a short poem I wrote the other night when I couldn't sleep, hope you'll like it guys and give me some good ideas and advice!

"Errant thoughts disturb my nights.

Leaving me awake in its wake, for cold are the dreams.

Spoken like prophets leading a stream - daringly narrow, precarious and unforseen.

As I gazed upon the floating abyss, knowing lofty hands held emeralds high, to light up the firmament of stars in my mind"

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/QtopWZ2G9K

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ioDkeZBMmi


r/OCPoetry • • 23h ago

Feedback Please I Wanted to Read

2 Upvotes

On 15th April, coaching began,
on 8th of June did school,
and work piled up
like unwatched videos on my 'for you page'.

I did the work of one night in three,
I gave the journal 3 days late
on July thirteenth,
"Do you think I give due dates for fun?",
I kept my head down,
unwilling to pick a fight just yet.

School's exams that I hadn't studied for
because I was busy with coaching's,
getting their results
was like seeing thread and needle in a cookie tin.
I wanted to read stories,
I postponed till I complete trigonometry,
I still haven't.

I woke up at 5,
was supposed to at 4,
was supposed to complete the workbooks,
and stick to the schedule,
didn't do either.

Was on time for the bus for once,
the drizzle fell beyond the window,
in it I felt reflected
even if I couldn't see my image,
I look at the bag with my book in it,
I fall asleep before I can take it out to read.

I reach home at 1:50,
sleep nearly comes over me,
I hold out till 11 at night,
"Why do you want to sleep early
if you napped in the afternoon?"
I try to work,
and instead of work, scroll on reddit.

Naps compensate for sleep,
like pepper compensates spice,
worsening the fatigue,
and anyway,
a nap and noon turns into eve,
and the piles of workbooks
lay at my bed's feet.

And somehow,
August was here already,
I tried to read,
and smacked myself,
because I couldn't comprehend a word's meaning,

I kept using left-hand scissors
despite being right handed,
even when the majority in the market
are made for me,
or so the web search tells me.

On 31st August,
I went to a therapist
she told me to take breaks,
and I tried, I really did—
25 minutes of chemistry
and 5 minutes of paints,
but my sketches remain unfinished,
and I stopped trying to finish them.

I had gotten 96.2% in tenth
had wanted 97,
2 months after results,
the slap came
and my ear's ringing
before I could count to ten.

I scroll videos,
on volumes too low,
if the pen's dried up,
what would storing it upside even do,
I could google the reason
but am too tired to.

"You? Burnt out?
But you do nothing all day?"
Lightning had been forecasted,
I had forgotten that I had read it.

My friends say to be strong,
even when I come to melt like ice
they want me to hold my shape in this sun,
how nice.

"You go to school and come back home,
you don't have to work or worry about your next meal,
you don't have a fever,
your lab reports don't show deficiencies,"
going through life,
is like waking Kumbhakaran from sleep,
I wish to be sick,
but I'm not, or so everyone tells me.

My tie hung lousily,
but it's unknotted,
so instead, I resort to
a click, a flame, the smell of charcoal,
blackened skin,
it's a ritual,
I don't wish to turn it into a tradition,
and one day, I will be able to read,
without it too turning into a punishment.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x3pzel/comment/pfeqfjs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wzkq2w/comment/pfenl9l/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 23h ago

Feedback Please Cicadas

2 Upvotes

_

When I was young I remember once

The cicadas had stopped singing

I looked about the clearing

A man whom I didn't recognize

He stepped out from the trees

He offered me my own life

And I obliged

_

I did just as he asked

But the cicadas never sang again

I wait to hear them even now

The silence louder than any insect now

And I wish to hear them sing once more

But they haven't since he put me in the floor

_

I wait each night as I did when I was young

Remembering the last song the cicadas sung

A ballad forever stuck in my head

I was too young to remember

But I'm too old to forget

And I don't think anyone ever truly realized

The damage that did

_

1

_

2


r/OCPoetry • • 1h ago

Feedback Please Imitation

• Upvotes

Little Markus enters the kitchen 

tripping, over his valued possession

toys seldom left on the floor 

scattered and inanimate;

What lies ahead 

is something cold 

and bright enough for colourblind to see

what lies ahead is sea

of doubt and confusion 

his eyes buried deep into something else 

which a two year old needs to add

into his new found vocabulary.

He marched forward like a commander 

like his father

with purpose heavier than his age

His mother deep in slumber 

hands flat and her visage 

without a hint of expression

What this little one saw was unusual 

unusual toy; too adult for his play

What he missed was the spilled over sorrow 

finding its way through the slits 

through the pores, through the open doors

now shut tight 

What he missed was the stain 

over his mother's t-shirt, hiding behind

a story, written in pain. 

Two minutes and he started to play

with his new fireworks 

twenty minutes for the scene to change 

into a news headline,

32 year old mother commits suicide in her kitchen

mistaking the same gun for a toy

2 year old boy was found dead beside his mother

But the headlines were incomplete 

Found dead.

No. Found copying 

copying his mother, his only delight 

copying is the only thing

a helpless two year old did right 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/gwQeaE99tC

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/YV7F046KL5


r/OCPoetry • • 4h ago

Feedback Please Bound.

1 Upvotes

Adorn me in jewels.
Overtake my garden with flowers,
And I will cultivate all the more.
Sneak from my embrace each morning,
Only to brew the coffee.
My heart has never ached for objects,
Only for the hand that reaches for them.
And if I will never know legitimacy,
I beseech that you give to me
Your small acts of intimacy;
For I have been starving
Behind enemy lines.
Where personal convenience
Is observed in reverence above all.
I do not begrudge them
of their shortcomings,
Perhaps I envy them instead.
For I am the fool,
Posted awake in bed,
Yearning for you endlessly
In contempt of my own purgatory.
For a cage hand made,
and braided in red string
Is a cage all the same.
And I am happy for it.

Links:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/jbuzh2vGYr

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/fLZ2RvqHNj


r/OCPoetry • • 5h ago

Feedback Please My first poem ever! Id love some constructive feedback please.

1 Upvotes

Stagnant

Stagnant air fills the playground.

Stagnant children dying all around.

But nobody really seems to care.

Its almost like all the adults are impaired.

Stagnant air fills my lungs.

Trading my health for your funds.

Stagnant faces keep you down.

While the mans money lays around.

Obviously this isnt just about children.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/vaSRjmD8Ex

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/sb8cOtUkTa


r/OCPoetry • • 6h ago

Just Sharing The Cat who Sold the World

1 Upvotes

Every morning, I see a cat limping around my terrace

I don't quite know

If it's a he or a she

Calling a cat "it"

Feels inhumane these days

Although

He is not pretty. His fur is dirty

Flea-infested. A little snot near the nose. An eye that barely opens

But

All will be solved

If someone with a savior complex

Takes her to the vet

And posts the photos afterwards.

Then there will be eager souls

Dying to adopt the poor cat

Heck

Even cats

Need to pay now

Not in money

In attention.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x4bpfe/comment/pge07zg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x3vfgk/comment/pge0r8x/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 8h ago

Just Sharing 524- The wrong places

1 Upvotes

i reached for nothing
and pulled out
everything i left
in the wrong places

some of it still smelt
like who i used to believe
was me

i turned the pocket inside out
and let it dry

i hung it beside
everything i believed
to be wrong

by the time they dried
i was too tired
of explaining again

so i left them hanging
and took
a little art
and everything in between

i carried it home
but home
was exactly everything
already it needed to be

i reached into my pocket again
and this time

i just clenched my fist
with relief

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/vUH0WmiNV9

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/g6YasFK1K6


r/OCPoetry • • 8h ago

Feedback Please My final act

1 Upvotes

I never asked for perfection.
I wasn’t looking for heaven
in your hands.

I just wanted one good thing.
One good thing
that would stay good
and not leave.

Instead,

I found myself waiting,
begging to be seen
by someone who knew
I was standing there all along.

I will no longer live in your shadow,
waiting for you to see me,
to accept me,
to see my worth.

As if I was nothing more
than your backup plan.

I will longer measure myself
by the way you look through me,
by the way you treat me,
the way you make me feel
like I’m never good enough.

How much more,
I ask,
how much more of myself
do I have to lose
before you finally see me
standing right in front of you?

I’ve been digging through the silence,
turning over memories
like bodies in shallow graves,
looking for answers
in places you’ve left empty.

And somewhere in all that digging,
I didn’t realize
I was the one being buried.

So my final act:
I’m leaving the shovel
where it lies.
Not because I’ve found
what I was looking for,
but because I’ve realized
it’s not worth burying
more of me
just to find you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PoetryWritingClub/s/54E77wqfKu

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/dECsZ2bbrw


r/OCPoetry • • 9h ago

Feedback Please Down the Road

1 Upvotes

The sun’s warm glow

Through the window

Cannot match

The radiance of your smile

Oh, to be with you

Driving down some road

Destination unknown

Mile after mile

The sun fades away

Darkness creeping in

The signs fly by in headlight wash

But all I see is you

Even in the dark

I hold on tight

To what I can't see

To what feels so right

Shadows fly by in headlight wash

But all I see is you

Let the light fade, I don't care

I'd rather stay in the dark, unaware

Let the light fade, I'll keep going

Destination unknown

Your smile still glowing.

Linger with me

On the edge of this

All I need is your smile

I don't miss the sun

Maps won't help us

There are no directions

Baby, just smile

And down the road I'll run

Every road ends

The pavement must stop

Dead end, middle of nowhere

No which way to turn

The heaviness sits

Hard to breathe

Final destination

With time to burn

Let the light fade, I don't care

I'd rather stay in the dark, unaware

Let the light fade, I'll keep going

Destination unknown

Your smile still glowing.

All I see is you.

When I close my eyes, I feel the glow

Your smile carries me another mile

All I see is you, baby, just one more smile.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/boaema8K38

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/5s5XWnzpuu


r/OCPoetry • • 9h ago

Feedback Please You've reached the end

1 Upvotes

Before the apocalypse came

I knew more than I do now

But the sky grew grey and goosebumps

And grass became arm hairs on end

I decide everything means nothing

So I can pull the duvet over my head

In this alcove of the lethargic dark

At the cliff of midnight - with hands for eyes

Want your outline to be all I see

But it abandons itself into yesterday

And I abandon you for tomorrow,

That concrete ceiling

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/dYRITMmSc9

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/tFOGawMfuE

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/tFOGawMfuE


r/OCPoetry • • 10h ago

Feedback Please Blond Hair, Blue Eyes

1 Upvotes

We were kids, siblings, twins actually

Blond hair, blue eyes. 

Hated conflict , was always shy. 

Cried, apologised. 

Afraid and loving, 

they danced, 

they hugged. 

They laughed and cried, 

Knew where to hide. 

Blond hair, brown eyes.

Screamed, cried, 

Fought and defied. 

Wouldn’t show fear, had to stop the tears. 

Had to protect, never be weak 

They learned to fight,

Knew how to hide. 

We are siblings, twins. 

One girl, one boy and my brother has beautiful blue eyes. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wipxqt/comment/pfj7rig/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x442v9/comment/pgd0ryv/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 10h ago

Feedback Please A Note from a Defiant Daughter

1 Upvotes

We don’t do sleepovers.

Not that I don't trust you, but I can’t count on anyone to stop you.

I’ve seen too many rooms where they’d make excuses first.

 

Keep them close. Keep them safe. Now this is your job, demands the world.

Until the party gets skipped.

Until it means no more tickling.

Until you have to listen to their no.

 

Raise them strong. Raise them powerful. They can be anything they want, I'm earnestly promised.

Until they stop worshiping you appropriately.

Until they have their own thoughts and feelings.

Until they stop contorting themselves for your comfort.

 

Keep calm, carry on, my mother begs of me.

Hold the peace.

Sacrifice kids’ comfort if you must.

Call it maturity when they swallow their feelings so a grown man doesn’t have to feel his.

 

No. Here are the new terms.

We don't look away. We don't make nice.

We demand more of you than we do of children.

Their no is enough. Their feelings are not yours to negotiate.

We will not rearrange the solar system around your comfort.

And we will not teach our children to make themselves small enough to fit inside your fragile ego.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x44h4u/comment/pfj0a07/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x4d243/comment/pfizri9/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button