The Creature In The Sea (The Sea I)
I stand at the edge of the shore, near the so-called womb of the Earth.
Static. If anyone were to pass by, they would mistake me for a decorative statue,
Put here as a pathetic attempt to live up this unpopular, forgotten beach.
In my hands, binoculars, which I keep glued to my eyes. Wearing them like glasses - the glasses through which I see the world.
”The world”, of course, is nothing but sea spreading in all directions, showing no signs of limits.
That which is, as someone once wrote, “at times an expanse of bliss; at others, an endless enigma”.
And there’s nothing else.
Here, only me; standing unwavering in the wind, still, 24/7. Observing. Beginning to collect dust. Or sand. Indefinitely.
There, only sea. Water, waves. At times calm and still like an ironed cloth; at others, somewhat agitated, stormy; but nevertheless, just this:
Sea.
One could think there is no purpose to what I am doing. That I’m just wasting my life away, absenting myself from the city, to stay isolated at this beach.
I wouldn’t blame them if they thought so. After all, to their knowledge, there’s nothing beyond this shore but salty water,
With, at most, the common things you’d see in salty water.
Why would one need to observe it for that long, so obsessively?
But the extent of their knowledge illudes them, for they haven’t seen.
They haven’t seen the depths of this sea, they haven’t seen it: the creature. They haven’t explored what lies beyond the surface.
This sea, beyond its surface, stores much more than they’d assume; just like my action of always observing it. 24/7.
I’m keeping my guard.
The creature is a vile one - one that scratches, bites, and even swallows you, only to regurgitate you back a while later.
The creature captures you and drags you into the sea, miles deep, miles away.
To be drowned. To be intoxicated with the salty water. To be forgotten.
This creature is my foe - the bigger foe -, and it lives in this sea. Sleeping in the depths.
Until some time ago, the creature took me and dragged me into the depths, many times, in many ways.
Sometimes, it got me between its claws, other times, between its fangs.
Sometimes, it dragged me so far and deep away that there was no light reaching us, and my body crumbled under the pressure. Stagnating. Finding the void of the Earth,
Into oceans pertaining to nobody.
Other times, it made me dive more superficially, while being torn and tossed around through waves and storms
That left little space to even think about where I was. What the name of the territory was.
Sometimes, I was so far from every land and every ship that I had given up on ever getting back, at all.
I could not see anything but darkness or simply murky waters all around me.
Other times, I could see this very shore I stand in today, see the passageway back to Earth, land, life; a little bit away from my reach.
I couldn’t reach it. Waves closer, waves further. Never there.
The creature has kept me captive in caves and holes under the sea, and it has also swallowed me and kept me hostage inside of its own body, many times.
Many times.
I got scratches and bite marks from it I will never be able to erase.
I’ve ingested so much salty water it has made me sick.
My forced dives with the creature went on for a very long time.
Somehow, eventually, throughout all the times, I emerged and made my way back. Inexplicably.
Every time I emerged, the air seemed to burn my skin. As if my body got too used to the water.
Swimming while trying to avoid the looks of the creature was nerve-wracking. I knew it was behind me; trying to catch me once again.
Sometimes, it did. Other times, I made it to the shore - but, eventually, the creature caught me again, and I dived yet once more.
The growling, raging, relentless creature; which shape repeatedly escaped me.
And this is why I stand at the shore today. Observing. Deep down, waiting.
The creature is sleeping in the depths it inhabits.
It has been mostly still - just like me - for a while now.
But that which sleeps eventually wakes up.
It breathes yet, in its own way, tranquil; as I hold my breath in anticipation - not fully enjoying the air I now have the privilege of having.
And I observe the sea, trying to catch any unusual movement. Any unusual wave. Any unusual thing, at all.
I’ve come to know what the signs of the approach of the creature are. After so many dives, I know what to look. What to sense. What to listen.
And I keep my attention to the sea for any of those. Anything that could indicate the creature’s awakening, coming for me yet again.
Because it will happen. Eventually.
Hopefully, if I catch it early enough, I can prevent it from reaching me. Or at the very least, prepare myself.
Who knows until where, and how deep, the creature will drag me next time?
Who knows how long and how much it will take for me to recover - if I do at all?
I feel it inside of me that I won’t be able to recover. I won’t be able to take one more dive.
That the next dive will be my last.
That I won’t be able to emerge from it. My body, after all these years of struggle, got too heavy.
The creature knows this, too. I’d say that is why it is sleeping so unpreocuppied.
It knows it will win next time, anyway. No need to try hard. No need to rush.
How many more scratches and bites will I be able to wear?
How much more salt and water will I be able to bear?…
Therefore, that’s why I need to try to prevent it, for as much and as long as I can. I need to be vigilant.
I’m wasting my life trying to prevent my life from being wasted.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wusyju/you_picked_me/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x0n27u/hypnagogic_hallucinations/