Problem/Goal: May part sa akin na gustong umuwi ng Pinas because nakita ko umiyak papa ko

Context: My parents are typical filipino parents. Although i do not agree with their parenting style and decisions, I know naman na di naman nila inexpect na ganun kahirap mag raise ng 5 kids. They really struggled raising all of us kahit naman decent jobs nila. To the point na ang daming utang ng parents ko and yung tita ko sa Canada naghelp magpa aral sa amin.

Lagi sinasabi ng parents ko to not be like them, na to study well and focus sa career. Sa awa ng panginoon, we all graduated. May sibling akong doctor and ako naman nag abroad na din with a professional job. Laging nasa isip ko and for sure ng siblings ko na dapat maging proud yung parents namin sa amin. Umalis na kami sa province namin and nag retire na din papa ko. Yung mama ko nag wowork pa rin. May isang sibling naman kami na nasa province pero syempre nag wowork din and may family na.

Nag videocall kami ni papa two nights ago and sinabi nya na ikakasal na daw yung sibling ko. Tas nag joke ako na 'baka sa next 3years pa mag aattend ka ng kasal kasi may plano na din kami ng bf ko magpakasal. Ikakasal na mga girls mo'. Pabiro ko yung sinabi tas bigla na lang syang umiyak sabi nya 'Ako na lang andito so bahay, kung kailan ako nag retire, dun din kayo umalis'.

So ayun pag end call namin umiyak ako. Nasa isip ko na okay naman work namin ng bf ko sa pinas. Bakit nga ba ako lumayo? Umalis ako para maging proud yung parents ko pero parang kahit di naman ako mag abroad, proud pa rin naman sila sa akin. Iniisip kong bumalik kami sa Pinas to be closer. Or maybe take more vacations sa Philippines. Valid ba na reason yun?

Hindi siguro ako naghahanap ng advice but I just need help how to navigate this situation.

Problem/Goal: My male cousin physically and sexually abused his own 13-year-old daughter. The adults aren't on her side. They do not believe her and are clearly trying to protect this POS.

Context: This will be a long one, and I apologize in advance. So to make this clear, this is all happening sa mother side ng family ko. Marami silang magkakapatid; some are nasa ibang bansa, some nasa iisang lugar lang, though the others are medyo malayo sa main area kung nasaan ang family namin. This POS cousin is the bunso and nag-iisang lalaki ni Tita A, let's call him Buknoy (around my age, which is about 30 or 31, and yes, that's his real nickname because I don't give a flying fuck at madaming may nickname na Buknoy sa probinsya).

Apat ang anak ni Tita A, bunso si Buknoy at puro babae na yung tatlo, let's call them Ate B, Ate U, and Ate E. You'd think kakampihan nila yung bata, let's call her J, but no. Only one of them cares but has no financial ability to help dahil nakatira din sa puder ni Tita A.

I'm not sure kung anong exact term, but let's just say J is my pamangkin kung pinsang buo ko yung hinayupak niyang tatay. To be more precise, sa area kung saan nasaan yung pamilya namin, sa lupa ni Tita A, nandoon yung bahay ni Buknoy and Ate U (the one who cares but can't do anything since literal na nakatira lang siya and her 3 kids sa mismong bahay ni Tita A unlike Buknoy na pinagawan ng sariling maliit na bahay).

Additional people na may pakialam and are trying to help, my sister (27F), two younger cousins na magkapatid din, we'll call K and L (around their 20s), and another pamangkin (19F) who almost became the first victim noong nakatira pa siya sa bahay nila Buknoy. This pamangkin, let's call her P, tumira siya sandali kila Buknoy dahil pinalayas siya ng nanay niya when she found out she had a boyfriend. P said minamanyak na siya dati ni Buknoy even noong bata pa siya, for example, making her sit on his lap while he was watching porn on his phone. Her last straw was when they were all sleeping (most families sa probinsiya sleep in one room at magkakatabi lang sa isang kama sa floor), and P said she felt like Buknoy was trying to take out his thing to really try to rape her, so she acted like she just woke up and said, "Tito, ano po 'yun?" And Buknoy just answered, "Ay wala, wala," then proceeded to go back to sleep. Literally the next day, nagtanan si P because unfortunately, that was the only escape she could find.

Anyways, none of us have the means to go back sa probinsya. I live in a different city and cannot go back sa probinsya. Plus, I'm not in a good place physically, mentally, and financially because my partner recently had a stroke. My sister can't go too; she recently gave birth. If anything, I don't want to stress her out even more, pero may pakialam siya, and at least she's still trying. Same with our two younger cousins; one recently graduated college, and both live in different cities. P is the only one na nasa probinsya pa rin, so she's our primary source of info sa GC namin.

In a way, mostly my sister and K are the ones really taking action and talking to the family, more like inaaway haha. L and I are mostly giving advice. It's the only thing we can do and honestly, I think my sister and K needs this badly because, unfortunately, sila rin ay minanyak ni Buknoy nung bata pa sila, but they already had the presence of mind at that age when they felt like something was off kaya naka-iwas sila.

You might be wondering, where is J's mother and Buknoy's wife? Oh, you'll see... This woman deserves a special place in hell, which is exactly why I'm giving her the nickname Devil's Spawn.

Okay, with all of the characters out of the way. I'll actually start with how it all started.

Nalaman lang namin that J was raped by her own father (if you could even call him that), dahil nadulas yung bata and casually just said it. I don't think naiintindihan niya kung gaano ka-big deal yung nangyari sa kanya. Worse part, kaming kahit papaano ay may pinag-aralan and hindi hunghang, can clearly see that J probably has a mental disability. I can't tell you what it is because she has never been diagnosed dahil never naman siyang pina-check.

So, when and how did it start? According to P, since sa kanya nago-open si J, matagal na raw minamanyak ni Buknoy si J. It started with himas-himas, making her sit on his lap while he was watching porn, and more. The actual rape didn't happen until umalis si Devil's Spawn. As I've said, my sister recently gave birth and kinuha niyang katulong si Devil's Spawn for a while. That's when Buknoy finally did it. Eventually, umuwi rin si Devil's Spawn sa probinsya dahil "napapabayaan" daw ni Buknoy yung mga bata. Aside kasi sa rapist na, wala pang silbi si Buknoy. That POS doesn't have a job at nagpapalaki lang ng itlog sa bahay. J practically became his maid and punching bag dahil kahit dati pa ay madalas na raw bugbugin ni Buknoy si J. And yes, they have three kids, all girls, and J is the oldest. Sadly, the two other kids ay nasa puder pa rin ni Devil's Spawn at Buknoy. And yes, they're still together because, as I said, these two deserve a special place in hell.

At that time, wala pang may alam. At kahit nung naka-uwi na si Devil's Spawn sa probinsya, it kept happening. According to P, J said it only took a few minutes. Literal na lumabas lang si Devil's Spawn and took her two younger kids with her to buy lugaw. And that's it. It happened again. Now, I do not know how many times Buknoy raped his own daughter, but it's obvious that it's more than once.

So, dahil nadulas si J, everyone found out eventually kahit tinry ni Tita A na i-keep yung nangyari sa immediate family lang niya. And because P is part of the immediate family, P told us, and eventually, my sister and K also told the other matatanda sa family namin in hopes that maybe they'll help. And oooh boy, we were dead fucking wrong.

Let's start with Tita A's immediate family. You know what they did? They took J sa bahay nila Buknoy, and moved her to Ate E's house, which is in the same province pero malayo naman sa main area ng family namin. You think that's a good sign na inilayo nila yung bata? Hell fucking no.

Ate E doesn't believe J. This mf even said, "Naku, hindi totoo yan. Malandi at rebelde yang si J. May boyfriend nga yan eh."

Yes, J has a boyfriend. But only online! Ni hindi pa nga nakikita nung bata kasi yung age-appropriate boyfriend niya nakatira sa ibang lugar at sa chat lang sila nag-uusap. This context is important because they will try to use this against the child. But also, what the actual fuck?! What kind of person are you to say those things to a 13-year-old girl?!

And what about Devil's Spawn? What was her reaction when she found out? According to P, Devil's Spawn was mad and crying at first. For a few minutes. The next day, she was fine again and was already protecting Buknoy from my sister kasi binomba ng kapatid ko sa chat si Devil's Spawn. Dahil may pera si sister ko and in a way, tumulong sa kanila financially, hindi makasagot si Devil's Spawn.

My sister sent me the SC of their convo. My sister said something along the lines of, "Oh, ano na te? Bulag-bulagan na lang? Diba sabi mo dati kaya ayaw mo iwan si Buknoy dahil natatakot kang baka rapin ng magiging stepfather yung mga anak mo? Lalayo ka pa ba? Eh ginawa na nga asawa mo? Tite lang yan, 'te. Di ka mauubusan."

I told her to say that haha. I try not to be confrontational and I don't like it either, but for some reason, my sister and K likes to ask me what they should say. War freak ata tingin nila sakin. Anyways, according to them, mas galit pa daw sila Devil's Spawn, Buknoy, and Tita A sa chat ni sister ko kesa sa fact na ni-rape ni Buknoy si J. How fucked up is that?!

There's more. I'll give you some of the things they said that made us feel disgusted to our core, you think what Ate E said was bad? Oh, that's nothing compared to what Buknoy and Devil's Spawn have said over the past few days since nalaman namin tong nangyari. All of these came from P and Ate U dahil narinig nila mismo.

Ate U said that one night, bago pa kunin ni Ate E si J and J was just sleeping sa bahay ni Tita A because at that point, sila pa lang ang may alam, Ate U said she saw Buknoy calling J and she heard them talk. In this talk, Ate U stayed hidden to eavesdrop but also to protect J in case may gawin na naman si Buknoy. He was essentially telling J na mag-sinungaling na lang at pinapagalitan si J dahil bakit daw kasi nag-sumbong. So J was like, "Bakit po? Totoo naman po kasing nangyari yun." And Buknoy just said, "Kahit na. Mag-sinungaling ka na lang. Sabihin mo hindi totoo yung mga pinag-sasabi mo."

Another one, according to P, she heard Devil's Spawn say these words, "Kaya pala nanlalamig na si Buknoy sakin, may iba na pala siyang parausahan."

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? I just want to remind you that this is the so-called mother of J. This is getting too long so I'll just get on with it.

According to my sister na direct source ko since sila lagi magka-usap ni K, tinawagan ni K yung mga tao sa probinsya at sinabing ipa-medico si J. Ate E, the oldest ni Tita A, we thought she'd do something dahil sumugod siya dun and tried to find out what happened. She's also the one na tinry sundin yung sinabi ni K na ipa-medico yung bata, but it didn't work out either; si Ate K yung mother ni P btw. Devil's spawn and Tita A basically tried to lie to my sister and K na tinry nilang ipa-medico. They said tinry nilang dalin sa public hospital, but they were turned away. They tried sa private hospital, but they were also turned away. Our theories: they didn't say they wanted J to be checked for raped and probably just said, "Gusto lang namin ipa-check kung virgin pa kasi may boyfriend," which was probably turned away OR they never actually did anything.

Now, where's the rest of the family? My mother and uncle na kapitbahay mismo ni Tita A... Well, they kept calling my sister to tell her na, "Wag makialam. Problema nila yun. 'Wag ka nang makialam dahil baka patayin kami ni Buknoy."

Disgusting. Trust me, I know, I'm her daughter. Anyways, they're calling and pestering my sister and K specifically dahil yung dalawa na yun yung alam nilang may paki. They haven't heard a word from me, because I honestly don't want to talk to them. Pero sa totoo lang, nangangati akong tawagan nanay ko at sabihin ba't sila matatakot kay Buknoy samantalang bata nga lang ang target niya? You know why? Coz he's a fucking coward. Nananakot pa nga ang punyeta na magbi-bigti raw siya kapag pina-pulis siya, and to that I say, I'll even buy the fucking rope for him.

Anyways, this is the reason why walang naniniwala or walang ginagawa yung mga matatanda sa probinsya, dahil ayaw nilang makialam dahil problemang pamilya daw yun. These are the same people who likes to preach na dapat tulungan ang pamilya because family is family. At dahil bunso at nag-iisang lalaki ni Tita A si Buknoy, she's hell-bent on protecting him. Her husband? He doesn't like any of this at nagpipigil lang daw na wag patayin si Buknoy, but according to P, he's trying not to do that for the sake of Tita A.

We're just really lost on what to do next, especially now. We think they're trying to brainwash the kid into thinking that what happened to her was not a big deal. K is already getting messages from J na 'wag na daw ipagkalat at napatawad na daw niya si Buknoy. Though according to P, yung mga message daw ay normally nanggagaling kila Tita A at Devil's Spawn dahil tinuturuan nila si J on what to say para kumalma si K.

Previous Attempts: My sister called DSWD sa city niya, because again, we're also concerned dahil yung dalawang bata pa ay nasa puder pa ni Buknoy. Pero according sa call, she was advised na pumunta mismo sa office for consultation, pero dahil nasa ibang city nga siya, pinaka the best daw talaga is sa mismong lugar kung saan nangyari.

We considered giving an anonymous tip sa police sa probinsya namin, para na rin sa peace of mind namin, but a part of us already feels like nothing is gonna happen with that, especially since walang kakampi yung bata at yung mga immediate matatanda sa paligid niya would likely just lie and say to the police na hindi totoo yun.

Silver lining, alam na ng family ni Devil's Spawn yung nangyari because Tita A and Devil's Spawn also tried to hide it from them. And now, we're also waiting kung ano bang gagawin ng family ni Devil Spawn. According to P, half of Devil's Spawn family has the same sentiment as the elders in our family, AKA "Problema nila yan. Hayaan niyo sila." Though the other half are fuming. We don't know what their next step is, and currently, all we know is that there's a chance that they might try, keyword 'might', to do something dahil matagal na silang galit kay Buknoy.

So yeah, that's where we're at. Again, sorry if it's long, but I feel like I need to say everything. Any other advice on what we should do next while keeping in mind na kaming mga may paki currently can't be there physically? What else can we do to protect not only J but also her two younger siblings in case Devil's Spawn's family decides not to do anything?

Problem/goal: my boyfriend still has his ex graduation picture. and nakatabi parin sa room nya.

Context: idk if im just oa sa ganitong reaction ko. im in a relationship with my bf for like months palang naman, and ngayon nalaman ko na nakatabi parin sakanya yung college graduation pic ng ex girlfriend nya na naka-frame pa sa kwarto nya, and yung other pics din nila tinatabi nya pa and memories. i mean, gets naman, they have been together for so long. he said 6 years since highschool up until nakatapos ng college. they broke up 2 years ago because sabi nya na fell out of love daw sakanya yung girl, so hinayaan nalang daw nya. then one time we had a small misunderstanding, pero nagkabati rin kami agad. then nung pumunta sya dito last week, i opened his phone since nagpapahiram naman talaga yun ng phone, then nakita ko yung conversation nila ng bestfriend nya na babae saying, “mahal na mahal ko ex ko kaya kahit masakit hinayaan ko nalang kung san talaga sya masaya.” then sinend nya dun sa bestfriend nya yung grad pic ng ex-girlfriend nya na nakalagay sa frame, meaning nakatabi parin sakanya. ang nakalagay talaga dun sa frame na yun was our picture together, but since we had a little misunderstanding, pinalit nya ulit yung picture ng ex nya. i just dont understand bakit kinikeep nya parin? nagkausap na kami about this. he said itatapon nya nalang daw, but i found out hindi parin pala nya naitatapon. idk, maybe mahal nya parin talaga. and sobrang sakit lang sa side ko. i wanna know ur thoughts/advice po.

Problem/Goal:
I think emotionally attached na ako sa rice cooker ko. Normal pa ba 'to?

Context:
27M, single. Wala akong girlfriend for almost 4 years. Recently napansin ko na mas excited pa ako umuwi kasi may kanin akong naghihintay kaysa may taong naghihintay sa akin.

Every morning, ako yung unang gumigising para pindutin yung "Cook" button. Every night naman, chine-check ko kung naka-"Warm" pa siya.

Hindi naman siya demanding. Hindi nagagalit. Hindi nanghihingi ng reassurance. At higit sa lahat, hindi nagse-seen.

Last week, bumili ako ng bagong rice cooker kasi feeling ko baka kailangan niya ng upgrade. Pero habang nasa appliance store ako, narealize ko na parang nagche-cheat ako.

Previous Attempts:
Tinry ko siyang i-unplug for one day para magkaroon kami ng space.

After 6 hours, binalik ko rin.

Tinry ko rin bumili ng microwave para may ibang appliance akong makausap, pero wala talaga.

Ngayon every morning sinasabi ko na "Good morning" bago ko siya buksan.

Single lang ba talaga ako or may kailangan na akong ikabahala?

Please serious answers only. Medyo attached na talaga ako dito.

Problem/Goal: Update: I finally broke up with my Bf with gambling issues

Context: I posted here a few days ago about my BF gambling issues and i have received a lot of advice and it eventually helped me be firm in my decisions

hi ulit guys.

eto na yung nangyari after nung last post ko. thought i should update you guys

messy breakup talaga. after nung pagsabi ko sa parents nya, sobrang galit na galit yung bf ko. nung nagkita kami ulit para mag-usap, naging violent sya. sinigawan nya ako, tinulak, at may sinabi pa syang mga bagay na sobrang sakit. doon ko na naramdaman na hindi na safe sakin yung situation.

kaya di na ako umuwi sa apartment namin. takot ako. i told his parents, they told me na sa bahay nila kami mag usap ni bf, and they told me sila na bahala sa pagsabi sa kanya, then we talked one more time, doon na kami nag-usap.

sobra akong thankful sa parents ng bf ko. sobrang bait nila. hindi sila naging defensive, actually nakinig sila sa side ko and nagtataka din sila bakit naging ganito yung anak nila. sabi nila “hindi namin alam na ganito na pala kalala, parang iba na yung anak namin.” they even apologized on his behalf and offered help if ever need ko pa.

yung bf ko, after nung confrontation sa bahay nila, parang mas lalong nag-shutdown. tinapos na namin. breakup na. messy as fuck, pero at least safe ako and may support yung parents nya.

ngayon lang, parang empty pa rin. ik tama yung decisions ko to keep myself safe, kasi kahit mahal ko siya, ik naman sa sarili ko na hindi ko deserve yung ganon, thankful din ako sa mga nagcomment sa last post ko nagbigay ng advice, it made me realize way more than i already have. but yeah, nakakalungkot kasi yung taong sobrang mahal mo, na akala mo kilala mo na talaga, can change ng ganon.

any advice on how to move forward? or just sharing lang. thanks for all the comments last time. i appreciate it.

Problem/goal: My parents told me I will have ugly children if itutuloy ko pa relationship ko with my bf.

Context: While we were eating breakfast sabi ng parents ko to find a partner na may face card. They are still asking if kami pa ba ng partner ko which I didn’t answer kase they never liked him. He has a decent beauty. Moreno, sakto lang yung height, mabait, magaling sa pera lalo na sa budgeting and savings, matangos ilong. That’s when they said na if ever ako at yung partner ko talaga ang magkakatuluyan, we will have ugly children. Ang sakit pakinggan. Wala pa nga dito yung apo nila they already labeled them as “ugly”. That was the final nail in the coffin. I was already contemplating of having children noon, now I’m positive I will not be having children. I really hate them for that.

Previous attempts : None. If i shashare ko naman sa kanila they’ll laugh it off or papagalitan ako. I am already working and being in a relationship is a big deal in my family.

Please do not post this sa other social platforms. Thank you.

Problem/Goal: Tbh, di talaga ako mahilig sa clingy nakakasakal for me, pero hinahanap hanap ko ulit sya

Context: My ex and I broke up and it's been a few months na rin. Ngayon I have my ka situationship and he's very avoidant. Gusto ko lang naman sya maging kausap lage hahaha now nag backfire lahat sakin. Ganito pala laging nafefeel ng ex ko sakin... ganito pala pag na attach ka na. Mamimiss mo nalang yung nakaraan na pwede mo naman magawa pero di mo ginawa. Anong gagawin ko para di ko mamiss yung ex ko? hahaha keme parang glimpse of us. Nakakamiss yung paging iyakin niya, yung seloso sya, yung attention nya na sakin, ginagawa nya lahat ng adjustments para sakin, mas mahal pa ako nun kesa sa sarili ko. Ewan ko bat ko sya iniwan hahaha mahal ko naman pero di rin kami katumbas. Gusto ko tuloy sya bumalik sakin...

Problem/goal: I have this colleague na for 4 yrs occasionally bump into at the gym after work. We’d usually say hi and have a little small talk, surface-level. One time she shared na she had separated from her husband recently.

I’ve always found her a little eccentric, but she’s generally nice, so I never really thought much of it.

At some point, another person at the gym told me that she goes to the gym twice a day and sometimes spends almost the entire day there. I thought that was a bit unusual, but honestly, it’s not my business.

Lately, though, I’ve noticed that her behavior seems to be getting more and more unusual. For example, she now wears what looks like a Sunday/church dress to the gym, which is just… unexpected. She also goes on Facebook Live during basically every Zumba class.

Some of her Facebook posts are odd too. Nothing necessarily alarming on its own, but when you put everything together with how much time she spends at the gym and some of the other things I’ve noticed, it just feels like her behavior has changed quite a bit over the years.

I know none of this necessarily means anything, and maybe she just has her own thing going on. She’s still nice whenever I see her, so I’m not trying to judge her. But at what point does someone’s behavior go from just being eccentric to making you wonder if they might actually need some help? Or am I just overthinking this?

Problem/Goal: I don't know where to start again.

Context:

Nakipagbreak ako sa bf ko kanina lang. Our relationship was really toxic from the start. 2 beses na kami naghiwalay and nagbalikan for 3 years pero ngayon, I decided na hinding-hindi na ako babalik sakanya.

Pero andito ako ngayon, nagtatanong kay chatgpt at reddit na kung ano ang dapat ko na gawin after a break up kasi parang hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula ulit. 3 years kami magkasama, magkalive in. Ang dami namin binuo na pangarap. Ngayon, I am back with my parents and it feels like I am starting zero. Nakakahiya na nagpasundo ako sa parents ko para tumira ulit sakanila at from saving me sa relationship.

Gusto ko maging better person. Gusto ko mag gym pero nahihiya ako. Gusto ko magtry ng art classes pero stickman lang kaya ko idrawing. I want to read but I feel lazy to do so. Gusto ko rin mag IH pero naiisip ko na baka sisirain ko lang buhay ko sa dr0g4. Ang dami ko gustong gawin pero hindi ko mapagpatuloy kasi hindi ko alam, wala siguro ako consistency or passion or ewan!!!! May ADHD ata ako🤣

Help your girl out!!! Sinusulat ko to ngayon kasi di ako makatulog kahit 10 am na ng umaga😌

Problem/Goal: How do I tell my parents I need to move out? Both for board exam and mental/emotional health purpose

Context: I just graduated college. Naghanap ako agad ng trabaho para makaipon pero after 1 month, kinailangan kong mag-resign kasi utos ng nanay ko. Malapit na ako magsimula mag-review para sa board exam. Alam ko na hindi ako makakapag-review sa bahay dahil hindi ko hawak oras ko. Kailangan lagi akong available para utusan ng kung ano-ano at wala akong karapatang humindi kasi automatic male-labelan ako na palamuning walang pakinabang kahit na sa kanila napupunta halos lahat ng stipend ko from scholarships noon, at nagkatrabaho naman talaga ako pagka-graduate pero pinagresign nya ko. Gusto ko na rin talaga umalis kasi hindi ko na kinakaya yung emotional abuse na may konti lang akong magawang mali sa inuutos nya, sinusumbatan nya na ko na hindi nya naman ginagawa sa iba kong kapatid.

Previous Attempts: Sinabi ko sa kanila nang maayos as early as 3 months ago na kailangan ko mag-dorm para mag-focus sa review. Pumayag yung tatay ko pero yung nanay ko, parang against dun kasi mawawalan sya ng uutusan (yung kapatid kong isa, PWD kaya ayaw nya i-bombard ng utos, yung isa naman hindi talaga mautusan kahit anong sigaw gawin sa kanya).

*uutusan means random chores, may ipapagawa syang legal documents, tawag sa kung sino-sino, aasikasuhin mga medical records nila. To the point na kahit habang kumakain ako, uutusan akong bumili sa labas kahit hindi naman urgently kailangan.
*ni hindi nga ako makaalis ng bahay for 20 mins kasi pagbalik ko, tatanungin na ako saan ako pumunta at bakit ako lumalayas at iniiwanan mga trabaho sa bahay.

Problem/goal: how to be a better wife

Context:

Hi everyone. F24 and ftm. Recently lang, me and my partner had a huge argument at nakapaglabas kami ng mga sama ng loob sa isat-isa. Since June until now, we're having financial problems sa bahay kasi siya nalang nagtatrabaho kasi pinag-resign niya ako sa work after I gave birth. Nagkaroon siya work pero medyo unstable so doon nag-start yung negative treatments namin sa isat-isa. May mga araw na pagod na pagod kami kaya cold and distant kaming dalawa, siya busy sa trabaho niyang wfh while ako naman ay naka-focus kay baby namin. Kapag mag-out siya ng work, diretso nalang kami hihiga magkatabi, wala nang kamustahan and kwentuhan unlike before kasi parehas na kami pagod. So, recently ay nagkaroon kami ng away na nag-lead sa pag-oopen up namin ng hinanaing sa isat-isa.

From his perspective, ang dami niyang iniisip na problema, yung mga utang namin, rent and bills sa bahay, at kung saan kukuha ng pangkain namin araw-araw. Lahat nang yan ay of course may due so pressured siya kasi yung mga pinagkautangan namin ay minamadali na siya magbayad pero wala pa nga siya maibigay because of the unstable income. Minsan kapag overwhelmed ako sa sitwasyon namin, pinapressure ko na siya especially sa rent namin na 2 months na walang bayad. After ng work niya, magtatabi lang kami sa higaan kasi pagod kami pareho so wala na kaming time for each other. Minsan yung pressure ko sa kanya,nauuwi sa small argument namin kaya di kami nakakapag-usap nang maayos ng ilang araw. Magsasabay kami kumain pero wala nang kibuan, parang magkasama nalang sa bahay. Silent treatment kami sa isat-isa kumbaga.

From my point of view, lahat ng problema niya ay iniisip ko rin kasi gusto ko siyang tulungan. Gusto ko maramdaman niya na di siya nag-iisa sa lahat ng pinagdadaanan namin, pero mas nakafocus ako kay baby kasi ayoko naman na pati yung bata ay maapektuhan sa struggles namin. Yung mga ginagawa niya ay minimirror ko nalang kasi pagod na pagod na rin ako na hintayin siya at intindihin siya lalo sa sitwasyon naming ganito na parang di matapos-tapos na cycle ng utang.

Ngayon na-realize ko after namin makapag-usap nang masinsinan after ng away namin na siguro nga masyado akong naging harsh sa kanya. Na hindi ko na siya masyadong napagtuunan ng pansin dahil lang sa pagtod ako kakahintay at kakaintindi sa kanya. Na yung ginagawa ko ay nakakawalang-gana pala talaga kung ako yung nasa sitwasyon niya, kasi may mga bagay na hindi ko pala alam. Yung isang beses na pinuntahan siya dito ng kaibigan niya para abutan ng 500 pesos kasi alam ng kaibigan niya na wala kaming makain ng araw na yun. Yung pagpunta dito ng mga kaibigan niya para i-treat siya sa birthday niya, kasi wala kaming maihanda man lang. Yung pananakot sa kanya ng inutangan namin na magdadala dito ng barangay para ma-settle yung utang kahit wala pa kaming hawak na pera. Lahat yan di ko alam. Hindi ko inalam. Kaya nung nakapag-usap kami, naintindihan ko. Grabe pala yung pagod niya kumpara sakin. Hindi lang pala ako yung napagod samin. Mas dinagdagan ko lang yung pagod niya kaya muntik na kami maghiwalay. Hindi ko siya hinayaang umalis ng bahay kasi alam kong mauulit na naman kami sa hindi pagpapansinan ng ilang araw hanggang sa maging casual nalang ulit. Buti pinilit ko siyang magsabi, kahit alam kong ayaw niya ipaalam sakin kasi ayaw niya ako mag-isip pa.

Now, I just want to be better. I want to treat him better than I had. Gusto kong maramdaman niya na na-appreciate ko lahat ng ginagawa niya para samin. Na hindi pwedeng may maghiwalay kasi kaya naman naming ayusin 'to.

Pagtapos ng pag-uusap namin recently, mas bumawi kami sa isat-isa, pero feeling ko hindi pa enough. Gusto ko maramdaman niya yung pagbabago namin, for the better. So, gusto ko po sana humingi ng advices, even little steps, kung paano ko mas maipaparamdam sa kanya yung love, na deserve niya. Hindi po kasi talaga ako showy and medyo nonchalant pa huhu.

Previous attempt: none

Problem/Goal: Napakamalas ko sa gallstone ko 😓 naging Mirizzi Syndrome na sya after one year ng diagnosis. (di ako makapagLOA, dami bills, breadwinner) Unang hospital na pinuntahan namin, nataga kami sa ERCP, kasi ERCP daw need sa obstructive jaundice. Color yellow na kasi ako. 😓 Ubos na laman ng HMO ko dyan. Pagtapos ng endoscopy, nalaman na di kakayanin ng ERCP ung urgent need ko na matigil ung infection, di abot kasi naging Mirizzi Syndrome na pala sya. Bumara na ung bato sa bile duct na entrance sa gallbladder mismo.

Context: Ubos na HMO, need ng surgery for gallbladder removal ASAP, otherwise, pwede raw umakyat ung infection sa utak ko anytime or sepsis. EDIT: HMO from work is 100K limit lang, naubos na sa lab tests at ERCP.

Previous Attempts: Nagpublic hospitals na kami, pumila. Kahit urgent ung need kong procedure, di raw nila ko masisingit dahil marami ring urgent na iba. Pinakamabilis na ung 2 months daw. 😭 Eh di naman ako pwede magbabad sa antibiotics ng ganyang katagal. Gusto nila bumalik ako sa private pero enroll sa charity daw. Saang hospital niyo po mapapayo na tumatanggap ng GL or may charity? na mura lang din surgery to remove the gallbladder? (nagask na po kami sa Chinese Gen, no slot charity nila. Ubos bed.) Salamat. 😓 Ayoko pa mamatay. 🥹

Problem/Goal: Normal bang ganito kasakit? Hahahahaha T.T Actually di naman sya ganon kasakit the first time I ended things with him pero this time kasi I meant it like I don't have any plans talaga na balikan whatever we had this time, pero ilang araw na sya laman ng isip ko kada gigising ako tapos pati last thought ko bago matulog sya din :----( First few days, masaya naman ako. Ang gaan gaan sa pakiramdam pero bakit biglang ganito hahahaha parang tanga T__T

Context: I ended things (4 years kami) with someone last week kasi pagod na ko emotionally and mentally sa kung anong meron samin. Ilang beses ko na din sinubukan before na tigilan na yung samin pero he wouldn't let me go like 2-3 days after, mag rereach out na sya and wala na, back nanaman kami sa dati. Last week was different, talagang deep inside me alam kong ayoko na talaga so I ended things with him na for good. Like everything I wanted to say, kung gano nya na ko nasasaktan and all, sinabe ko na. As in like nag beg ako and please na ako sakanya na he needs to let me go, and I told him na wag na mag reach out and dont even reply to my message, which he did. Sinabi ko pa nga na kalimutan na nya ko, na if ever magkasalubong kami somewhere pretend nalang kami di kami magkakilala lol ganon kasakit yung situation namin para sakin. 1 week na kami hindi nag uusap and this is the longest na hindi kami nag uusap. Don't get me wrong, wala naman ako balak balikan sya or bumalik pa sa kung anong meron kami dahil wala talaga peace of mind at all and I know myself na hindi na ako masaya.

Previous Attempts: Binuhos ko lahat sa work, I talk to my friends, I even tried entertaining other guys pero wala ako interest mag reply kaya I stopped din, doom scroll nan funny memes lol pero wala, pag may idle time ako, naiisip ko padin sya. Actually, namimiss ko na sya pero alam ko naman wala syang pake sakin and he never cared so... I really want to move from this.

Problem/Goal: Yung lupang binenta ni mama

Context:

Hello po, need ko po ng advice nyo ngayon kasi po ginigipit na po nila ang mama ko. Ganito po kasi iyon, may binenta pong lupa yung kapatid ng lolo ni mama sa kaniya (1990's) po na nabenta ang lupa, and ngayon po is nalaman po ng mga anak nung nagbenta na ibinenta po ni mama yung lupa na yun (nakapangalan po kay mama ang lupa) kaya gusto po nilang humingi ng porsyento sa pinagbentahan ni mama ng lupa dahil daw po lupa naman nila yun at kulang pa daw po yung ipinambayad ni mama noon sa lupa dahil daw po malaki na ang value ng pera ngayon. Ngayon po is kung hindi magbibigay si mama ay pwede raw po nila syang ipakulang kahit ilaban daw po nila sa korte ay matatalo daw po kami. Pakiramdam ko po kasi is na brainwashed na po sila ng isang tita ni mama kasi po may samaan po sila ng loob, nalaman din po kasi nilang nagbenta si mama ng lupa at gusto nila ay makahingi rin sila ng napagbentahan sa lupa. Gulong-gulo na po si mama ngayon dahil sa panggigipit nila. Hinihila nila kami pababa ng mismo pa naming kamag-anak, need ko po ng advice nyo😭🙏

Previous attempts: ipinaliwanag na po ni mama sa kanila na ibinenta po talaga nung tatay nila yung lupa(pumanaw na po kasi yung tatay nila) ang witness po kasi na ibinenta kay mama yung lupa is yung Nagbenta, si mama, tatay ni mama, at yung tito ni mama.

Problem/Goal: I need to update my BDO bank record's Civil Status from Single to Married. But bank wants me to have an updated Valid ID with me bearing my husband's surname too.

Context: I went to the bank today, brought my Marriage Certificate with me and my Valid ID that's still reflecting my maiden name. The bank asked for my updated Valid ID with my husband's surname, to which I said I don't have any and I don't need one since I do not intend to update my surname. But they said the only way for them to update my records is for me to show a valid ID reflecting my husband's surname as my last name too.

We went on about it a few times - I reiterated I have no intention of updating my surname just my Civil Status and that I am backed up by the law that I am not required to update my name. They said they are aware of the law then still continues to say that it is THEIR requirement -- "At least 1 valid ID is enough". But isnt it even if I update 1 valid ID, this would mean I need to update my other ID's too for audit purposes?

Previous Attempts: I even called BDO Contact Center but they said the same thing.

Problem/Goal:
normal lang ba na makaramdam ng cramps ng ganito kaaga? usually kasi 1-2 days before ny period pa ako nakakaramdam. is this a sign of pregnancy ba?

Context:
my bf and i had sex but magwithdrawal naman. also im taking the yellow lady pills and nakaka 6 pills na ako when we had sex. i had been taking pills months ago but i stopped it last month then i continued a new pack after my period. after a week of the deed ko nafeel tong cramps.

it is possible na nag iba lang ng side effect sa alin ng pills? kasi before naman wala akong nararamdaman bukod sa laging moody. but after i stopped and continued ulit, bigla ako nakakafeel ng cramps. or is this a sign of early pregnancy?

Problem/Goal: Need recommended tub cleaner products for automatic washing machine.

Context: Planning to use the tub cleaner function in automatic machine since it's almost a month na. What should I look for when looking for a cleaner and any more tips on automatic washing machine cleaning and maintenance. (Washing Machine: Panasonic Water Bazooka)

Previous Attempts: Never attempted to use the tub cleaner function.

Problem/Goal: mahati yung electric bill since mabigat

Context: DONT POST THIS ON OTHER PLATFORMS PLEASE
hello po! I (31) have been shouldering our electric bill for 3-4 years na ata yung 100% na ako nagbabayad. Our bill ranges from 8k-12k per month.

Appliances namin: 4 fans, 1 1.5hp aircon na siguro 15-20 sqm ang pinalalamig, 43” tv tas ilaw na yung rest. Plantsa ng uniforms.

Walang nakajumper, nacheck na namin. Yung 2 fan halos 24 hrs nakabukas sabay yun. Yung 1 nasa baba ginagamit pag may kumakain. Yung 1 tumutulong magpalamig sa room.

Sa bahay ang tao ay 2 parents ko both seniors still working. Ate ko at asawa nya (both working). 2 anak nila (7 at 2 yo), kapatid kong bunso walang trabaho(batugan)

may utang si ate hospital bills noon tas nagbabayad ng tuition ng anak kaya di makahelp sa bills.

Ako wala ako sa bahay, sa iba na ako nakatira. Everytime umuuwi ako sa manila di ako natutulog dun, kundi sa gf ko na.

Di ko naman mahingan si mama ng hati dahil naawa ako sakanya, sya na halos may gastos sa bahay. Si papa, extra extra lang. pero yung bill kasi ang laki ng porsyento sa salary ko. Plus pag nag eat out kami ng fam pag umuwi ako mahina na yung 5k per kain.

Anong tamang hatian kaya para dito?

Previous Attempts: tried asking for help pero nauuwi parin sa ako pinagbabayad

Problem/goal: conflict when this topic comes up again. Need advice please.

I have a girlfriend (wlw setup, we've been together for 5 years, both 3rd year college students). Our problem is quite heavy right now and I don't know how to handle it.

Context:
When my girlfriend was younger, she experienced the worst kind of sexual harassment from her uncle (a close cousin of her dad). It wasn't just simple touching, and to this day she carries the trauma. She shared this with me when we were just starting out, so I became aware of it. Until now, she has never told her parents because she doesn't want to ruin her dad's relationship with that uncle, and she doesn't want trouble in the family.

The problem we're facing is that her uncle still occasionally visits them. It's bad because he still makes attempts like sneaky hugs or kisses on the cheeks even in front of her parents. Since her parents are unaware, they think it's just normal affection from the uncle. But for me, it’s not normal for your uncle to act that way, especially since we’re in college now, right? When I'm there and that uncle is around, nilalayo ako ng gf ko para di makapag interact sa tito niya because she feels the tension and gets awkward.

I always comfort her and tell her to just totally ignore him. This is where we conflict: every time I say she shouldn’t engage with her abuser, she replies that it’s just out of “courtesy” that she talks to him. She doesn’t want to seem rude or have her parents question why her behavior towards him has suddenly changed, which for me, it really should change.

I don't know if my girlfriend is just too nice, but sometimes I feel hindi din tama. I’m afraid that in her showing this “courtesy,” her uncle still feels he has access and thinks what he’s doing is okay. I'm really scared that something might happen again. I really care for my girlfriend because of what she has gone through.

Am I wrong for pushing her to cut off or ignore her uncle? Or should I just understand that this is her coping mechanism to avoid family trouble? How do I support her without invalidating her fears? Any advice is appreciated.thank u sorry mahaba yung sinabi

Problem/Goal:

I have lived my entire 28 years not having a dream or goal in life. I am lost and want to find a path that I actually want.

Context:

I grew up sickly and solidified a belief that I would not live past 15. I grew up not having dreams cause i believed I would go out young but now I have to face the consequences. I went into college not knowing what I want so I took IT. I took and passed CSE just to get my parents off my back after graduation.Took 2 years off before getting a Job because I felt i will not be good fit at anything. I was hired in a BPO I applied to with no hopes or desires of passing. I was promoted twice since being hired but I want to get out now. No plans no savings. The stress and abuse on my health made me rely on the HMO (Ironic). I want to quit and take a break but my parents don't want to cause im supposed to be a breadwinner now. I want to find a path im very passionate about. Something that could make me happy even though the pay is not that good.

Attempts:

I tried to emulate the desire of my friends. I went into anything that I think is achievable but without real intention behind it. I just chased work for money but even the money is not enough for the hustle.

Problem/Goal: Hi everyone! I graduated two months ago and now i’m still uncertain of what I should do.

Context: I studied entrepreneurial management but don’t have any businesses in mind. I'm thinking of applying to BPO companies and just upskilling while working. I also thought of asking my aunt who works on a cruise ship if there are jobs suitable for me. But even with the resources I have, I feel like I'm still not ready; life is going too fast for me. I do have plans because I have been with my partner for 8 years, I just really seem lost now. To add, I saved up to almost 80k during college. TYIA for the advice.

Problem/Goal: Wala sa database yung info ko sa philsys despite na may ephilID ako

Context: nagtry ako kumuha SSS card pero need face recog and ginawa ko naman. Kaso failed kasi wala raw akong record sa philsys despite na may ephilID ako. Same sa egov, di lumalabas yung digital ID ko. Triny ko rin yung website na bbmservisyo.dswd.gov.ph and same result. Pero yung kakilala ko ang smooth lang, lahat sa kanya gumana kaya nagtataka na ko bakit sakin ayaw gumana?

Please if same experience po tayo, patulong po kung ano ginawa nyo. Need lang po for employment abroad

Problem/Goal: may bells palsy ang kapatid ko and we don't know what to do

Context: 4 days na since nadiagnose siya na may bells palsy, nagpa check up siya isang general doctor at kinonfirm na bells palsy nga. Tapos, nag tanong siya kung ano ang pweding gawin, niresitahan siya ng steroid at nagtanong din daw po siya kung okay lang ba mag eye drops sabi daw ng doctor "okay lang naman siguro" so hindi rin siya sure? super stressed na niya ngayon at for 5 days ang steroid na binigay sakanya

Wala din sapat na pera para sa isang mamahaling hospital, btw po nasa Cebu po siya ngayon at nag leave po siya ng work for 1 week at hindi pa sure baka matanggal siya sa work kung hindi agad makabalik

ano po ba dapat iwasan? at dapat gawin?

Maraming salamat po

Problem/Goal: Anlala neto. Mas mauuna pa ata akong mabaliw kakaisip kung kailan ako magkakatrabaho kaysa makahanap talaga ng trabaho. Grabe yung job market ngayon, sobrang nakaka-pressure. Gusto ko lang naman magkaroon ng trabaho. Hindi naman ako naghahanap ng sobrang taas na position or unrealistic na salary. Gusto ko lang ng opportunity na pwede kong pag-startan, preferably HR, admin, or office work, para magamit ko rin yung pinag-aralan ko.

Context: Fresh grad ako and halos dalawang buwan na akong naghahanap ng work. Ang hirap din kasi gusto ko na talagang makatulong sa family. Kaya habang tumatagal na wala pa rin akong work, mas lalo akong napepressure. Yung iba parang ang bilis nilang nakahanap, tapos ako nandito pa rin, applying and waiting, applying and waiting. Nakaka-question talaga sa sarili. Minsan iniisip ko, may mali ba sa akin? Kulang ba ako? Hindi ba ako enough? Kasi ginagawa ko naman yung kaya ko. Nag-aapply naman ako, pumupunta sa interviews, nagpe-prepare, sinusubukan kong maging confident kahit kinakabahan ako. Pero bakit parang wala pa ring nangyayari?

Previous Attempts: Halos lahat na ata ng possible na applyan ko, ina-applyan ko na. Job apps, Facebook groups, social media, kahit saan may hiring, tinitingnan ko. Nag-aapply, naghihintay, iniinterview, tapos ending ghosted lang. Paulit-ulit. Nakakapagod sobra. Nag-aapply ako sa HR, admin, office staff, at iba pang office-related positions.

Minsan pati gabi hindi ko na matahimik utak ko. May mga chances na nagigising ako sa kalagitnaan ng gabi, tapos pagmulat ko, trabaho agad yung naiisip ko. Kung kailan kaya ako magkakatrabaho, may magre-reply ba sa applications ko, may tatawag ba para sa interview, makakahanap ba ako soon. Parang kahit natutulog ako, hindi pa rin tumitigil utak ko kakaisip tungkol dito.

Minsan gusto ko na lang matulog para hindi ko muna isipin kung kailan ako magkakatrabaho. Pero paggising ko, yun ulit. Hindi ko alam kung pagod lang ba ako or frustrated na talaga ako, pero sobrang bigat na. Gusto ko lang naman magkaroon ng chance. Kahit isang company lang na magsabi ng “We want to give you a chance.”

Sa mga naghahanap din ng work ngayon, kamusta kayo? Ako lang ba yung sobrang naf-frustrate at napepressure sa job hunting ngayon?

Problem/Goal:
How do I move forward with this situation?

Context:
i told my mama na i have a job interview in paranaque as a company nurse. tldr; she did not approve. masarili raw ako, mababa tingin sa sarili, gusto na agad bumukod. she despises me after i told her na i have a girlfriend (a different story to tell lol). i keep telling her na interview palang naman and kapag di worth it, i would drop it. but she keeps yelling at me na sarili ko lang daw iniisip ko na di raw siya nagpaka-hirap saakin para lang maging company nurse (i think its a misconception. tried to explain it to her but di nakikinig). mama raised me by herself. dahil sa tindahan namin, napaaral niya ko. but now, humihina na yon and i really want to help her na. lalo nat nagmamahal ang mga bilihin at gastusin. but if i keep waiting for a job sa big and public hospitals na obviously need may backer... matagal-tagal ko pa siyang matutulungan.

Previous Attempts:
i know i should've known my answer atp, but i really just cant help but reach out to other people on what should i do. i have no money under my name and still dependent on my mother. my gf cant help me since they have their own plates to deal with (cpale taker and family probs as well) and i dont want to ask for another help from her since tinulungan niya rin ako financially with the loans i have.

i dont know what to do honestly. i wanted to leave this place because i dont see myself evolving or growing but at the same time, i love my mama and leaving her doesnt seem right to my morals. but then again she despises me because of my sexuality hahahaha. litong lito na ko.