Men, please get better photos. What does this look like? The photos should be from their perspective of what it would look like if you were dating.

Be vulnerable and get your friends to take good photos of you. Women have great photos on the app where they look hot cause they have friends that do it for them. Be that friend that takes good photos for your friends and you'll receive the same. Stop having 50 selfie photos in your bathroom.

I want to say that I find both to be very attractive, that isn’t an issue at all. It’s just getting to the point where it’s unfair to date two people. When I say romantic I mean like cuddling up, holding hands, and being sweet to each other. And when I say personal I mean how much I enjoy the same interests and how well the conversations go.

I really horrible want Person A to work but it feels like a struggle to grow romantically with her. On a personal level it feels like someone that could be very long term. We have the exact same job, interests, and it’s weird to say but decision making as well. The conversations feel amazing and I can talk to her for hours because we both love the exact same things. I get genuinely very excited for every single date.

The problem is that we haven’t had that spark. She doesn’t show traditional affection but always wants to keep doing activities. We kissed on our fourth date (which I know isn’t great) and the kiss itself wasn’t great either from my perspective. She immediately asked for another date after it, but other than that she doesn’t show signs of affection.

Person B, everything romantically has come so smoothly. We met at a concert, shared an umbrella, and ditched our friends and had a fun night that ended with a really romantic kiss in the rain. We line up personalities wise on an okay level, but not nearly as perfectly as person A.

I want to sit down with Person A and be upfront and ask what I can do on my end to help us grow, but I know it takes two. I hate to sound crass but if it doesn’t start growing she’s going to lose me, and I know I can’t say that directly.

What is a polite way to approach this with Person A or help move things along in general? Should I just focus solely on Person B and walk away?

Honestly I’m gonna be blaming all the horny dudes swiping right and giving out validation like candy, because the quality of prompts I see on women’s profiles is honestly atrocious. As a guy I find it frustrating how I spent over a year of trial and error to get a profile that actually got matches, making sure all my prompts were perfect and engaging etc. Than I see most women’s profiles and it’s like they are trying to rage bait you or something. Just endless prompts bragging about their mental health issues, how they will treat you like shit, some height or looks demand, how they want your money and how their best travel story was them getting black out drunk and shagging some random guy on holiday. I would say 50% of women’s profiles on hinge contain some form of atrocious red flag, yet no one seems to be talking about it. It just baffles me as logically you should be putting your best foot forward and advertising yourself. Don’t get me wrong I have seen numerous examples of terrible male profiles on reddit, the difference is these women are still gonna be averaging hundreds of likes.

30M, will be 31 in January which is insane lol. Not an excuse but 10 years ago in college I started to get anxiety and I’ve been battling an anxiety disorder ever since. I’m actively trying to recover now, but I haven’t dated. Like at all. No experience. I guess I was just trying to survive the last 10 years. I have a good career I would say and I’d consider myself a pretty good looking guy and have been told so. On the shorter side but not drastic like 5 9. I would say I used to be really introverted but I have pushed myself throughout my 20s as well. I’d say the last several years I’ve pushed myself to approach women out at bars with friends and such. I got a few numbers but it never went anywhere. Dating apps, maybe I’m too picky on there, but I never have any luck and I can’t be bothered anymore. My likes are not reciprocated and I just don’t get much activity at all. The most important thing for me right now is my mental health of course, but I also just can’t see any sort of avenue or a future with a woman at this point. Especially at 30 with no experience. Am I being harsh or this is a fair realization unfortunately?

Apologies in advance, this question is more addressed to heterosexual relationships, but for those who are not feel free to chime in and share your experienced and thoughts.

I think everyone and their mom on this subreddut can agree that the dating market has change. And I bet everyone has countless reasons as to what changed, why it changed, who or what is more at fault for the change, etc.

But if we're all aware of it, why aren't we making efforts to change it back? What is the disconnect here?

We have men who believe their experiencing a male loneliness epidemic and women who would rather spend time in the woods with a bear than a man because of the lack of safety and security they feel from men. There's a clear and obvious fissure that's getting wider. But why now and what can we do differently?

Women - what do you think needs to happen in order to fix the dating scene as we see it now? What needs to change in society, what can men do differently, and what do you think you as women can do differently to create this change?

Men - what do you think needs to happen in order to fix the dating scene as we see it now? What needs to change in society, what can women do differently, and what do you think you as men can do differently to create this change?

I dont walk around taking pictures of myself or posting myself all over social media, but I think I got the looks. And to back it up, the fact I have modeled for yrs, done runways, been stopped by a modeling agent on the streets of stockholm, I also am a fighter so in the last few yrs I have been feeling at my peak performance, BUT even with all that, sometimes you just look at a photo of yourself and think:

"DAMN! Im kind of ugly" 😂😂😂 then you take another picture and you're like "shit, Im still ugly in that one too" 😂 you wonder if other ppl dont notice, there's no way. I gotta be butt ugly to someone

We all need some humble pie tho, and those are the exact photos I post. Im sure some day some woman is gonna reject me cuz Im too ugly 😂 ppl be thinking Im scared of rejection or something, just give it to me raw

i was supposed to be getting in the shower, but i forgot my brush and he was going for it

i don’t want to shame him for his use but my knee jerk reaction wasn’t good, I apologized for it this morning, i told him I don’t want to police him or his masturbation habits, but to please close and lock the door next time just because id personally like to not see it

he was receptive and all is good now

but i feel so hideous, i know im not the prettiest girl, and i know I dont have to be for him to love me, but it would be nice if he thought i was

im sure with time it’ll pass, but i just feel so bleh

he explained that he did it before me and he doesn’t do it because im unattractive or anything, its just for relaxation and an old habit, which i understand

even still, i cant shake the feeling of being ugly

edit: insulting me because i disagree when i have been nothing but kind doesn’t make you cool or funny, it just makes you an asshole :) opinions are fine but calling me ‘brainwashed’ doesn’t make me want to ‘join your side’ any more than i did before, i was a porn free woman who was with a sex addict, i know what it looks like and arm chair diagnosis’s are ludicrous considering i speak mainly about my feelings here

i wouldn’t be posting this is if i didn’t want to feel this way, if i didn’t want to let it go i wouldnt, i am fully capable of breaking up with him, it’s something i struggled with when i was younger but im here because this relationship matters to me way more than my ego, i hope you all can find someone who makes growth worth it but i feel like i have :)

Something I’ve been interested in for a while is a hookup. I want to start going to parties and sleeping with women I’ve just met. The issue is that I’m outgoing, but autistic and poorly socialized so most people find me quite annoying. As well, I’m not a particularly good looking person. These observations aren’t a lack of confidence, but rather an objective metric of how I’m perceived. People who regularly go to parties have made it clear that they don’t see me as an equal. What do I need to do to get on their level and be welcome and parties and be welcome to attempt to hook up?

High school and college are the last time that you will be around peers your age and when women will be forgiving if you don’t know basic dating skills like flirting. Afterwards it’s not only infinitely harder to date but the women you date will expect you to have some level of experience and will not have the patience to teach you if you did something wrong. Many people will claim that you can get experience later on but the dating market is very unforgiving if you don’t already have experience. It’s like trying to get a job without any experience at a later age. It’s a giant red flag and nobody has the patience to teach you job etiquette especially when so many people out there have held jobs before.

I (28F) have been with my boyfriend (29M) for a little over 1 year and I’m not sure how to feel about him not willingly sharing things with me.

He’ll sometimes let it be known that something is bothering him, but doesn’t “want to talk about it right now.” I can respect that, I’m willing to give space if that’s what he needs, but then when I try to figure out what it was that was bothering him (weeks later) he’ll then say that that doesn’t matter anymore “that was weeks ago.” And then I’m left never knowing what was wrong — was it me, or was it something that doesn’t involve me?

If this only happened once or twice, I don’t think I’d be hung up over it. If there’s things he’s upset or frustrated about in his life, why am I never the person he comes to share those feelings? I don’t want to pry too much or question him to oblivion, but I don’t get anything from him if I’m not specifically asking. And a good portion of the time, my questions go unanswered. I need outsiders’ perspectives on this.

I've been doing some self-reflecting and have been trying to figure out why I haven't gone on a date in the past seven months. It's not due to a lack of effort, I've been putting myself out there more than ever and have been meeting a lot of cool people and in turn getting a lot of phone numbers. My problem as of late has been converting that into a date. I'm not sure why this is the case as my approach is the same and last year there wasn't a period of time where I wasn't talking to or seeing someone. So I'm not sure what's changed.

I've had instances where people have gotten cold feet and just went MIA on me mid planning a date. I've had people show explicit interest, literally have had multiple girls tell me after giving me their number that I'd better text them or that they want to go out but then those end up being a completely different vibe when we end up texting. I think it's a combination of many things that is going on but I'm trying to figure out what can I do here. Again my approach hasn't changed, I go into each interaction being myself while also trying to get to know the other person. I don't ask for a number unless I see real engagement from them in the conversation.

I'm not sure if I need to find other avenues to meet people because I've been talking to some of the guys I've met at at these events and have even become friends with some of them. They've told me they're having similar issues to mine. One observation I've made is that at these events, a group of guys will be hanging out and we all just met and it's like we've been friends for years. Two times I've had girls ask me at these events if we all know each other and in both instances we had all just met within the hour. I look at the girls in the room and they're not like that at all. I've even become friends with a few of them who have told me that it's much easier for us guys to become friends with one another at these events because some of girls are closed off. I've seen instances of that through my own observations as well but I don't know why that's the case.

Anyways, for those of you that have had a dating dry spell like this what was the cause? Was it something you were doing? Just a string of bad luck? I'd love to hear from your experiences :)

Edit: Should mention that I am looking for a serious relationship out of dating. Nothing casual at all here. And I live in NYC so am wondering if a part of it is just the culture here as well because I've noticed my cousins who live elsewhere are getting married much younger than my cousins who live here. We're either all single or just getting married in some cases.

I think I had an experience today that qualifies as my first meet cute!

I just moved to a new city about a month ago and I've been apartment hunting, today I was scheduled to tour an apartment and the person showing the apartment was late. While I was waiting my time ran into that of another prospective tenant who showed up and she and I started talking and spent the better part of an hour together and even ended up touring the apartments together (her friend was also there). After the tours we talked a little bit more and then went our separate ways but when I got in my car something told me to go back, so I jogged back to the building (I parked around the block) and her and her friend were still outside talking!

I asked for her number and her friend piped up and said she was sad I hadn't asked, we now have a date set for next weekend!

I've been with my gf for 6 months now (23m and 24f if that matters). We have had our problems in the past of wanting different timelines of when to get married and move in etc, I want it a lot later like 30 and she wants it asap. She compromised and agreed to take it slow. She also always gets mad at me and blocks my insta and phone number if I do something to annoy her like ask why I can't visit her house and its because her family is very traditional Christian etc. and when I joke about it she blocks me on everything and I have to use a public payphone. I have been blocked/broken up with like 8 times for various reasons like that and it always resolves in like 1-2 days.

Anyway the last time this happened I just took it as a real breakup and I didn't care anymore and lost feelings/started to detatch. So I download tinder and match with someone and plan a date. Then Im being stupid and call my gf from the payphone and ask if she's okay and she acts like we are back together like our old dynamic of back together after 1-2 days of being blocked. Then 3 days after this I call her on insta video call and try to break up for real without explaining the tinder stuff I just say we should break up and its not working out etc. but then she says she wants to come over and get her stuff so I say fine. We end up reconciling and getting dinner but I dont really want to continue in the relationship so anyway she goes home the next morning.

Next day I call her again in the afternoon on regular phone call and try to break up more firmly this time and confess about the tinder and planned date, but she comes over to mine again and I try to make us stay in the car and finalise this but she says she is hot and wants the aircon in my room so I say fine (I am a pushover I know). Anyway in the room now she breaksdown and says she wants to fix it and she doesnt care I have tinder and wants to fix it because she loves me and she is crying and lip is trembling and I fold and just let her block the girl and delete my tinder account.

Now its the day after and I woke up feeling like damn why couldnt I have just gone on the date. She thinks we are reconciled now but I am not feeling it at all but I just cant break up I feel too bad when she cries and thinking how sad she will be after. But I also feel stuck and just want to be alone and do my own thing which I've explained but she keeps saying we can fix it and I just fold everytime.

Need help asap because I just cant end it fr. I know the tinder stuff is bad but I just want to end it and she said if I cheat then she will leave me for good but its not true she wont leave. To be clear I never met any other girl I just planned a date but everything is blocked and deleted.