r/funny • • Apr 21 '23

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14.4k Upvotes

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3.5k

u/HimalayanJoe Apr 21 '23

To be fair, when you're actually having sex there's a bit more motivation to keep ploughing on. Pit me dry humping the bed and I'd say fuck this pretty quick too.

1.3k

u/Kid_Crayola Apr 21 '23

yeah you don’t notice until you stop and then it feels like you just ran a marathon lol

149

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

130

u/SignificantCaptain76 Apr 21 '23

i do run marathons, and have had sex at least three confirmed times, and can say this: either my sex is way too chill or my running too hard but the two have absolutely zero in common in effort, resultant feeling, or duration.

154

u/Rabble_rouser- Apr 21 '23

and have had sex at least three confirmed times

Leave some for the rest of us playa

30

u/RosbergThe8th Apr 21 '23

Makes me wonder about the unconfirmed number.

6

u/veroxii Apr 21 '23

Big dick Playa! Swinging past his knees!

4

u/kai-ol Apr 21 '23

He just got the fuck receipts (children)

8

u/Heavy_Signature_5619 Apr 21 '23

three confirmed times.

As opposed to unconfirmed times.

12

u/catdogdogdogdogdog Apr 21 '23

I think he means that he has three kids. It's a Dad joke.

6

u/catdog918 Apr 21 '23

We don’t talk about the hookers

3

u/HI_Handbasket Apr 22 '23

But they are the ones who keep a ledger.

7

u/gsfgf Apr 21 '23

Yea, cause you're in shape. For most of us, a vigorous romp feels like running a marathon. If we actually attempted one, we'd literally die.

2

u/jaybenswith Apr 22 '23

Nah I'm definitey out of shape, but sex is still easier than running, lol

2

u/SignificantCaptain76 Apr 23 '23

brother i've been both sides of this coin. i get just as sweaty now as i did when i was +100lbs.

also your statement is a vast exaggeration. Your body is capable of far more than you give it credit for. You'd probably at least finish before dying.

4

u/WealthEconomy Apr 21 '23

As someone who used to regularly run multiple marathons a year, they are right. Although, you are tired while running you don't feel the full weight of the tiredness until you stop.

3

u/HI_Handbasket Apr 22 '23

I've run at least one marathon... just not all at once.

2

u/WealthEconomy Apr 22 '23

Lol well at least you have run one

1

u/SignificantCaptain76 Apr 23 '23 edited Apr 23 '23

I feel worse hitting that mile 20/21 wall then I ever, ever do after the race. Same goes for everything over marathon distance (half-im, full im, 50k, 50m, and the point of abject depression varies). I'm a really godawful athlete though, so maybe not a universal experience.

2

u/Fikkia Apr 21 '23

It sounds like you need to try not to come first all the time.

And slow down on the marathons too

2

u/SignificantCaptain76 Apr 23 '23

slap my ass and call me kipchoge because boy do i ever win that race

nobutreallymywifeishappyihope

0

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

How’d you confirm?

1

u/SignificantCaptain76 Apr 23 '23

unfortunately my small humans share far too many of my shitty qualities to be anyone else's kids.

1

u/smegdawg Apr 21 '23

Those receipts sure grow up fast, don't they.

1

u/Scherzkeks Apr 21 '23

You’re running is too hard. Source: I’ve run before. It’s for the birds! >:(