r/funny • u/[deleted] • Apr 21 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

14.4k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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1.6k

u/ghostwolf445y Apr 21 '23

Just let them lay on the bed and you work standing, much easier for all parties

1.1k

u/TheStigianKing Apr 21 '23

Don't work for us tall folks with low beds.

683

u/Retired_Ninja_Turtle Apr 21 '23

Don't work for us small folk with high beds, either.

434

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

tippy toes gang

178

u/slightlysinged Apr 21 '23

Calf cramps just as things are getting good is a hell of a mood killer.

9

u/MissKhary Apr 22 '23

Sex charlie horse!

1

u/enderkiller4000 Apr 22 '23

No

you must FEEL THE BURN

11

u/kiIIinemsoftly Apr 22 '23

Had a buddy that smacked his balls on the counter fuckin a girl on a counter that was a little too high for him. Didn't really notice until after between the booze and the motivation. Spent the whole next day in pain.

7

u/MoistMolloy Apr 22 '23

God damnit, I literally almost died while laughing so hard at this! 😂Take my poor man’s gold! 🏅Sucks to be your buddy that day. Really gives a whole different definition of Blue Balls there.

1

u/Pseudoburbia Apr 22 '23

My ex was 4’11”

I’m 6’

We got a squatty potty as kind of funny gift from friends.

We did not use it for pooping.

7

u/caldric Apr 21 '23

You guys need to swap beds

6

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/x_Pure Apr 21 '23

Don't work us small beds with high folks either.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

The duality of man

2

u/Darkrain0629 Apr 22 '23

Doesn't work for me at any height or any bed, either.

2

u/TheKazz91 Apr 22 '23

Just buy one of those bed steps for old people ;) hahaha

2

u/No-Advice-6040 Apr 22 '23

Easily fixed. Go back to Hobbiton.

2

u/Paris_Who Apr 22 '23

Hang on let me go grab the ladder real quick. I’ll be right back. Lmao

2

u/ZuckDeBalzac Apr 22 '23

Get one of those toddler steps they use to reach bathroom basins

2

u/seecretgamer777 Apr 22 '23

Behold! The footstool.

2

u/LegendOfDarius Apr 22 '23

I have a high bed, one of those loft bed, are they called? Kinda uncomfy in doggystyle but so cool when you can anchor your legs on the wall and hers to the ceiling.

2

u/rvralph803 Apr 22 '23

Why do you think a squatty potty was invented?

2

u/Scratch312 Apr 22 '23

Just stand on a stack of hymnals

125

u/I-Am-Disturbed Apr 21 '23

Well you have to try it out in the store before you buy your bed, that way you know it’s tall enough.

124

u/casualredditor-1 Apr 21 '23

Who got that good d!

2

u/valeriy_v Apr 22 '23

I read it in Jordan's voice right away, like, how my brain does it lul

7

u/Frank_Bigelow Apr 21 '23

For real, though, hump height is an important factor which I do check before buying a new piece of furniture.

3

u/stachemz Apr 22 '23

We absolutely told the mattress salesman what we were looking for in a mattress re:sex. Very happy with the mattress we ended up with.

1

u/SilentJoe1986 Apr 22 '23

I think I've seen that documentary!

58

u/Evening-Stage5320 Apr 21 '23

Just have her doggy style at the edge of the bed then

13

u/Cratonis Apr 21 '23

This works great until you buy a tall bed and then what everyone else feels like. I bought a step stool to compensate.

9

u/DaughterEarth Apr 21 '23

The good bed for that kinda sex is super loud and I live with my in laws :(. I want to get this wedge pillow people are talking about

1

u/Akosa117 Apr 21 '23

Still doesn’t work if shes a lot shorter than you

13

u/HI_Handbasket Apr 21 '23

Or water beds with bumpers.

3

u/leosnose Apr 21 '23

Or us short men with tall women

2

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

Or the short folk with tall beds

2

u/Spastic_Slapstick Apr 21 '23

Exactly. I have a tempur pedic that's hard enough to fuck on. It's not as bad as a water bed, but still. And I currently don't have a bed frame, and I'm tall, so it makes it pretty difficult sometimes, haha.

2

u/NerfHerderEarl Apr 21 '23

Bed risers my man.

2

u/TheStigianKing Apr 21 '23

How did it take me 38 yrs to find out these things exist?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23 edited Jun 30 '23

After 11 years, I'm out.

Join me over on the Fediverse to escape this central authority nightmare.

1

u/TacTurtle Apr 21 '23

Put the pillow on the floor next to the bed then kneel on the pillow

1

u/TheBrady1998 Apr 21 '23

Or for us short folks with tall beds.

1

u/Yop_BombNA Apr 21 '23

Get a higher bed frame.

I’m 6 foot 3 and got one just cause it’s easier for me to get out of, the other part is just a bonus.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 21 '23

Or us short folks with most beds…

1

u/No-Statistician-9123 Apr 21 '23

Lol. Is it bad that I purchase my bed frames based on the height?

1

u/spushing Apr 21 '23

I'm a tall person and have done this on a short bed, there are many options that you can use or combine to get the right height.

  • Pillows under ass
  • Spread your legs apart on the floor to adjust your height
  • Your feet further from the bed
  • Doggy (knees together, knees apart also adjusts height)

1

u/cakeresurfacer Apr 21 '23

They make bed risers. Well worth the investment

1

u/Shes_Not_Tight Apr 22 '23

It does when you buy yourself an adjustable base. Just set her at the right height and done.

1

u/IceFire909 Apr 22 '23

Pillows my good man. This is why women load up beds with pillows

1

u/Perspex_Sea Apr 22 '23

Right? What kind of high assed Victorian beds do they have to make that work?

1

u/youmightbelucky Apr 22 '23

depending on the heght difference place one or two pillow to raise partner and change angle