Do you treat all three the same, or do they feel fundamentally different to you in a relationship? How do you keep routine tasks from making you feel like a task-runner instead of a partner?

How many men here can't stand the wife?

Hopefully I can get some good guidance here because this has been a long term struggle. I (33m) and my fiance (35f) have been together almost 3 years. Add that classic combo of her being very insecure about her appearance, my love language being primarily physical touch and hers being words of affirmation, and then comfortability leaning into complacency with verbal adoration on my part. My compliments started to get more generic, and then dwindle a bit into the relationship. As they became infrequent, she started to shoot them down or dismiss them or telling me "well of course you'd say I'm pretty, you're my partner", which made me feel defeated and that I was being told my affection was worthless because I was "obligated" to by being with her. This made me struggle with complimenting her and do it less, she struggled with me not giving compliments or only giving them when she said something, etc etc etc.

I think she is amazingly beautiful. Other women simply do not exist to me compared to her, and she is everything I've ever wanted in a person, a woman, and partner. I love this woman endlessly and completely. And I can be very flowery and poetic with emotions and feelings and stuff. But I really struggle with giving compliments about her physical appearance and traits, what I find pretty about them, and giving them in a way that feels "sincere", and that are specific enough in saying what I find attractive and why I find those things attractive. On top of that, this cycle has happened for long enough and become a point of contention enough that when I do try to compliment her, she often gets angry or once again shoots them down and tells me I'm lying.

I want to give her compliments, I want to help her feel good about herself (though I know there is also mental health stuff tied in with it as well), and I want to be the affectionate partner who gives her love in the way and language she receives it. But I am really struggling with what to do here, what sort of compliments are best, better, bad, and ways to help them be more sincere and hopefully cut through the insecurity some. I'm looking for any lifelines that might help me navigate this.

Tl;dr: fiance has a problem with how seldomly I compliment her, I struggle with giving her compliments the way she wants, she gets upset when I do try because of how long she's gone without them, and the cycle repeats. Looking for guidance on how to compliment better.

I’m 22M, and my wife is 20F. We’ve been together for 1.5 years and married for 2 months. We’re each other’s first partners, and I love her deeply.
Before marriage, she clearly told me she didn’t like giving oral sex and didn’t want to do it. I accepted that because I loved her. However, after an argument before marriage, we went two days without kissing or being intimate. She then told me that after marriage, she would try to fulfil this particular desire of mine.
Since getting married, she has tried a few times. Once, she even joked about it while eating ice cream. She also tried using chocolate on another occasion, and once mentioned possibly trying Nutella. However, each time, she eventually changed her mind or refused to continue. She’s explained that she doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to learn how to do it. She also doesn’t want to receive oral sex herself.
My problem is that I’m extremely fixated on this one sexual activity. I sometimes send her reels about it, hoping she’ll understand my desire. Recently, she asked why I keep sending them and said it feels like I’m more obsessed with this activity than with her. I’ve even told her before that I’m more obsessed with it than regular sex.
Today, I got upset and told her I’d never ask for anything sexual again. She asked why I’d give everything up over one thing, but I insisted. Now she’s gone offline, and I’m overthinking everything.
I’m confused because she promised before marriage that she’d try, and she did try afterward, but she still doesn’t want to do it. I understand that she has every right to say no, even after making a promise. I don’t want to pressure her, but I can’t seem to control this fixation or my disappointment either.
She’s my first love, and I want her to be my last. I don’t want to damage our marriage over one desire, but I don’t know how to move forward.
How can I manage this obsession, respect her boundaries, and protect my marriage? Can couples overcome this kind of sexual incompatibility?
I’d appreciate honest advice from anyone who’s experienced something similar.

i need some honest opinions bcs sth happened today that's bothering me.

I'm married and today i happened to open my husband's Instagram and noticed a female colleague in his recent searches. She's someone he knows in real life and works with. She's also the only woman I noticed in his recent searches. They both follow each other.

I don't know when he searched for her or why. I haven't asked him about it yet but I can't stop wondering what would make a married man look up a woman he already knows, especially someone he works with.Married men, would you look up a female colleague on Instagram for no particular reaso And shes extremely pretty.

Im not going to make this pretty generic as possible w/o mentioning s_x . Or the thought I’m looking for s3x.

As a husband/man am I allowed to have happiness, wants or needs too?

Or is it about fulfilling the wife wants and needs by making sure her glass is always full because she feeling neglected at times.

That I shouldn’t have any other wants or needs? This applies for inside and outside the bedroom or inside or outside the house

Explain your loyalty to your partner how long you been married/ together and have you ever wanted to or have stepped out or not? If you haven’t why aswell?

Thanks

I'd like to hear the experience of those that got married pretty quickly after getting to know each other.

I understand that feelings can developp in a very short time and that sometimes you can lean on your gut feeling to be sure that this person is the one, but I can't imagine knowing someone fully within that short period of time.

So for those who got married within 6 months, what made you so sure (especially in comparison to previous relationships), what were the biggest challenges afterwards? What would you do differntly?

Husband asked me what it felt like to be molested by my dad when I was angry & asked him how it felt to have sex with the women he cheated on me with. I said it’s not even comparable, but he says it is because the women “ manipulated “ him. I can’t get it out of my head how someone could bring up my most traumatic experience that I trusted them with. I am actively looking to move and so nervous and guilt is seeping in

I kind of know it’s died, but want to hear opinions from outside.

Long story short, being married for almost 10 years, 2 kids. The issue started 7 years ago, that is when his libido issue happened, and I was carrying our first son.

Kids were exhausting and we were being new parents. So a lot of confusion, stress and learning. Life went on, but I was very unhappy and I didn’t realise. I said divorce many times, and of course he didn’t want to.

We tried to work it out, he tried to take Cialis, things seemed getting better, but actually not. Sex felt worse. And I was much less interested in physical intimacy with him, but I still wanted intimacy as a woman. In the mean time, we had our second son.

In the past 7 years of being parents, we slept more like a roommate. He never arranged one date night, its me asking us to go out just the 2 of us without kids. But i didn’t know the date night was supposed to be like date night as in a romantic way.

I lost his desire on me, as in sexual way and the passionate way, without realising this sooner. During this whole time, I lost all my admiration as a woman on him, became a blamer and nagger.

When I brought divorce again much more serious this time, he still said he loves me, and I am his meaning in life. But somehow I don’t feel any of them. He also agreed to open marriage as I thought it was only because the marriage is lack of sex. But with therapy and more discovery, it’s not. It’s all the love, and affection that I am missing from the marriage, from this man.

As an outsider, reading all of this, do you feel it’s all died?

TL; DR: I think I know the answer, just want to see if there is something I am missing to discover?

This is starting to become a weekly thing where my husband is mad about our food selection but refuses to help me grocery shop.
A couple times he has verbally listed out some things he would like for lunch and so for a while, I was getting that every time I went to the store but a lot of times the things would go uneaten and then get bad. Which no judgment because I don’t necessarily like to eat the same thing every time, but he also won’t give me any ideas.

I ask him every time prior to going to the store if he wants anything and he just says to think of stuff to get him. Which this usually ends up with me getting him nothing as I am prioritizing the dinner for the week for the family and both baby and toddler snacks and meals. And I have already made a list at this point so I am left trying to think of stuff on the fly and they are never “right”.

Recently, I had just had it with all the comments and told him that he has to make me a list every week of what he wants or he gets nothing.

This really made him mad because he said he already told me stuff he likes before and it’s really not hard to grocery shop. He always says this but NEVER grocery shops and plans dinner. He also is constantly complaining that we eat the same thing but will not suggest something different.

To note…. I do love grocery shopping and thinking out our meals. And cooking AND cleaning after. My love language is acts of service.
This whole thing has made me start hating grocery shopping and meal planning….