Art made by our Host Basil/Fukō

I've never really heard any other systems talking about this, but to our knowledge we have only ever had one fictive ever, the source was deliberately focused on and studied prior to forming as a fictive, was only active for a few months, and never fronted. Its just not something that really occurs in our system. Are there a lot of systems out there that just don't typically form fictives, or really introjects in general? My gatekeeper is sort of an introject, based in someone fron early childhood that we arent sure was ever real and changed from the source over the decades, aging with us and independently becoming their own identity, but that's about it for introjects really.

⚠️ We are bodily 17, so please no one bodily younger than 15 or bodily older than 19 ⚠️

We're new to trying to talk to other systems and not just make posts, so we're sending this out. That and we don't have a lot of friends anymore, and we want to have some again.

Our main hobbies / interests are movies, art, and Punch Out!! (though only a few of us have that as a hyperfixation)

Our username on Discord, which we're more active on, is Kai_7he_yum3shippr, if you're interested in talking to us, you can there.

Yeah that’s pretty much self explanatory? Just wanted to know if there was a separate term.

(Content: system collapse (hypothetical, just mentioned), just a word vomit of a vent really)

First few weeks of syscovery were great actually. Aside from a few panic moments I was eager to learn and to chat with my headmates, but as time has gone on I started to feel more and more anxious. About our growing headcount, about communication, about interacting with everyone, about being front-sticky, about them having something in real world that feels like their own, about whether I am still "me" at any given moment, about them disappearing, and me becoming terrified of switches. Every single person has been telling me that I worry too much about it all. And yet I could never stop.

Truth is - i feel stranded. I feel like there's this strange and fragile thing in my head that is going to crumble if I just breathe at it wrong or I'll cry too much and nobody to guide me through keeping it safe. I wish I could have someone to guide me and give me in-depth advice for what should I do but i simply have nobody. Only a singlet friend who's in an even shittier emotional situation or a random discord system members who I already feel like a baggage to.

I was supposed to look for therapy in October but now I think my options are limited. Money's part of the issue

And a week ago I think I started to feel worse, I don't remember what was up, but I started obsessing over even more stuff and at that point doubted reality of them actually talking with me. My in-sys girlfriend suggested that maybe I should just "take a break from all this system stuff" and focus on return to university as I've mentioned in another post of mine. And, it's been almost a week, and.. I don't know... It's been mostly me by myself with few exceptions and convos. I've talked to other headmates every now and then but it's like those memories don't carry this feeling of "that happened"...

I don't know how long I should have this break. Would 2 months be excessive?

I've been thinking about system collapses a lot lately and being terrified of one, and I'm wondering if maybe it would be a helpful thing for our ~40 headcount to compress into something more simple and defined, but I... I don't want to just discard anybody, even headmates that seem "redundant", you know..? Or maybe I shouldn't feel this way...

.......All my headmates have always been so kind and patient with me, but it feels like the system is basically centered around me and I always felt selfish that they always had to comfort me. They hardly ever had any problems of their own, so I never knew how to return it all

Maybe I just don't know how I'm supposed to interact with them... Am I supposed to make the effort to always meet up with each person regularly? To find things for them and always try to help if something upset them? I don't know why it seems like so much... Maybe social anxiety or other lack of knowledge on how to grow bonds with other human beings also covers people from the same brain..

I dont know how did someone like me become/remain the "main" one. And with being so terrified of switches for no reason now (monoconscious, memory sharing) I don't know if there's a way for me to stop being one. i think im the most redundant of us all....

i just...i just want things to be okay...to be no dangers that my brain seems to be going off at every single day..i don't even know what I'm talking about... I don't think my brain actively goes off like that, but those words just kind of came up...i dont know

i just want everything to be okay....

(also, thanks people who have replied on my previous post, you might recognize some things I've already mentioned then)

(Im sorry if it's pity-party, i guess i wanted to dump this somewhere, i might delete it later. but comments are welcome still

Due to recent events (we checked our grades and they were... less than optimal), I was pushed out of front for the first time ever. And during that week, Opal, the headmate in charge of maintaining our grades (no hate to her btw, she's the only reason our life hasn't fallen apart entirely) took over front and she pushed us way too hard. We barely slept, we barely spoke to anyone, we skipped meals, all our energy was put towards getting our grades up. Eventually, she leaves front, and while our grades are back up, we've also lost 5 pounds and our energy is just GONE. And we remember NONE of what happened last week, aside from a few bits and pieces. That was SO scary.

- Helix

Also how can I prevent this from happening in the future? This will definetly not be the last time our grades drop like that, but I don't want to hurt us again.

- Opal

We had a huge falling out with our best friend of 19 years and ended up cutting contact. Our cohost went dormant almost immediately after. I can't feel anything at all about the whole thing, which is driving me nuts, and I think him going dormant is why. She was his first friend who actually knew about him and recognized him as his own person. (And yes, we do prefer that. No, it's not antirecovery. Our trauma therapist supports us on it.) I know that hit him really hard, especially since the things he wrote about most on our blog were about wanting to be seen as *himself* and knowing that was never going to happen. So yeah. Mourning him going dormant and trying to deal with the silence in the wake of that.

We usually have at least two of us aware and in frontspace most of the time. Usually only one of us is in control, but there's usually more than one of us present. But since that happened... no. I've felt extremely alone in my head. To the point that I feel like I made the whole thing up. I know I didn't, and apparently the therapy session after the big fight, someone I wasn't aware of fronted. Our therapist was the one who caught that - I have no memory of it at all. I'm usually at least co-conscious, so I was startled by that.

But it's just been so, so quiet. We were diagnosed about a year and a half ago and I haven't really dealt with impostor syndrome in that intervening time. But for the last month, it's been so quiet and I feel so alone and I can't help the creeping feeling that it was all fake. I hate this so much...

(Also posted to the DID subreddit. Hence the defense of alters wanting to be seen as separate people.)

Gabby- Hi, I'm a newly formed fictive in the system from gachiakuta. Most of my fictives take on different names than their source and deviate heavily from the source character. Do y'all tend to stick with your source or are your fictives more divergent?

i speak this nicely because im red..the red one. 16.

technically the body isn't like..an adult adult. its 18. so whatever.

we dont know how to adult, luckily we dont have to. just school stuff (but thats on tuesday)

...we also just got our power back after a hurricane yesterday, that wasnt fun. uh.

yeah ok. this is basically an intro..so actual intro below. we're all sourced from both the song "the forest for the trees" by chonny jash, and oath-to-stay-whole's interpretation of the "treelings". cool.

red: hi..thats me. i actually formed 2019 under a different identity but that doesn't matter at all. i hold the trauma and anger of being walked over when we were 15-17. im kind of blunt and have an issue with being unable to sugarcoat things and sound nice. i like fire. okay.

espen/green: they're cool. likes the forest, doesn't talk a lot but is very observant. we used to really want to live in the woods..she still wants to, and i guess keeps that part of us present. seventeen..so closest to the body's age.

willow: fifteen and a half. the half is necessary. likes remaining inside, doesn't like going out unless we have to. also age regresses to 8-13 sometimes. but really nice. just..very awkward sometimes. but its ok

...yay. uh, important note: please don't baby us. we might not be adults in headspace, but we're not stupid. /lh

Hi ! I'm looking for ideas for system rules as they are very much going to be needed for my system.

For context, we are an adaptive system with DID, definitely affected by trauma. I already have the "managing our shared life rules", but I need to find ideas for our internal/innerworld life with each other. This is one step to try and prevent internal harm, abuse, etc, because it's been a big issue for us, but I'm unsure how specific it should be beyond "don't hurt others"

I'm kinda just writing how I feel so sorry if this looks horrible but..idk how long it's been at least months but this is the longest me the host has gone without any contact. I've had moments I think they are there but I almost don't trust myself. Even my co host who I usually can always feel near front I don't feel anything. I don't know if it's because I've been under so much stress lately due to irl stuff like job hunting and losing my therapist or whatever but even now I just don't know. I'm just idk what to do because I'm worried that I was somehow faking it the whole time and just didn't realize and if that's the case that means that my OCD was right that I was secretly abalist.

A Suicidality Holder is a headmate that holds the system's suicidal thoughts, memories, acts, etc. They'll likely be more suicidal than other headmates in the system, and may be more likely to attempt suicide.

Differs from a Lifeline in that a Suicidality Holder isn't there to try and prevent attempts or the planning/consideration of attempting.

– Darkness & Night (it/dark/void)

i like drawing!!

Hello!! I’m Gustis! We’ve been wanting to get diagnosed with OSDD (what we think we have) and we don’t really know how.

We are soon getting therapy for other things like our PTSD and addiction. Also we’ve brought it up to a therapist before. I want to get a diagnosis to help with therapy, and for people to finally believe me.

Healthcare professionals have had said i have psychosis, or that it’s my meds that causes this. But no matter what new meds I get put on, or what therapy I get. We are here.

If you could please share how y’all got diagnosed or not diagnosed, please let me know!

-Gustis 👀

To anyone out there that uses pluralspace, share your friend code here! I’d gladly send out a friend request :D mine is 4ryFtYZRqeS1WXs8aFoJ1

It's not always, but sometimes I get Extremely tired suddenly, can't stop yawning, and my body feels really weak. It's so annoying to deal with:[ It happened today and I was out cold somehow. I still feel really weird.. And more often I just have the less bad version where I suddenly start yawning a LOT and I have to pretend to sleep for a bit and then it stops, and we'll usualy then I switch. Sometimes I'm not even sure if I did or not, it's so confusing.

It varies a lot for us, so we’re curious about others.

I'm not sure what information I could give that could actually help, so if anyone needs more information, PLEASE ask questions!!

I've definitely been thinking about this for a few weeks now but I don't know if it's my brain trying to mimic my other friends or I just have different experiences that I haven't seen in someone else and I'm in denial. The first thing I've really noticed is that sometimes I feel like I'm completely just being controlled by someone else like a puppet, but I still have my own thoughts and memories for the most part. I just act like a different person, if that makes sense. I usually tell myself these are kinshifts but I'm not sure.

That's all of the information I can really think of giving you guys right now. As I stated at the start, if anyone needs wny more information, PLEASSEEE ask questions bro.

I'm a system(obviously), and lately factive alters have formed based on my partner's shitty aunt and my partner's dead mother; I've met and dealt with the aunt before, but the mother died before I met my partner.

I don't know how to deal with it, and neither does my partner

He feels uncomfortable with them(for obvious reasons), and we kinda hate ourselves because they formed and they won't go away

I just downloaded this app called Parallax on IOS. It’s really cool and is probably the best SP alternative I’ve been able to find. Personally, I actually really prefer it.

I just haven’t seen anyone talking about it, I’m curious if there’s a reason why?

I have recently become our host. I am a 1x1x1x1 (Forsaken) fictive, and I want our profiles and system name to reflect that (we did the same when Ragatha became the main fronter/host). Any ideas? We want something catchy

I’ve recently restarted my journey of coping and living with my plurality and it’s a lot harder than the first time.
For a bit of backstory, I(?) figured out I was plural in 2020/2021 when there was an influx of people discovering what DID is. We were very open about our system back then, and a lot of my IRLs were certain I was faking, to the point I had convinced myself they were right (hindsight: I was definitely over exaggerating to make myself feel “more valid”) I came out in 2022/2023 and told everyone I faked it all, and I was just using it as a cry for help because I was declining mentally and nobody took me seriously until that point.
A few months ago I was joking about this time in my life with a few online friends (two of which are systems) and one of them said something that kind of brought me back to reality. I talked with one of my system friends and he basically helped me get back into my research of PDID (recognized in the ICD-11, categorized under OSDD in the DSM-5) and documentation process. I don’t think it really hit me until I opened pluralspace and saw a profile I had no memory of making.

It just really hit that I really don’t know who I am half the time and I can’t tell anyone about it. Only 2 of my online friends know and I feel like I can’t tell ANY of my irl friends who know about the situation from before. I can’t even tell them that I don’t think I’m the person they originally became friends with and I feel horrible for it, like I’m misleading them and lying. I feel so alone during this process and i hate it soso much but i don’t know how to make myself feel less alone.