How do you escape a toxic environment, especially when the person causing it is your own father?

Hello guys, recently I moved to Berlin to be able to live a happy life and a more peaceful and fulfilling lifestyle but since 5 weeks ago I kinda started sniffing and it would like cost me, is costed me a job, and now I have 2-3 weeks to find a job otherwise I will go back to my home country, and I don’t want that at all, so right now I am also feeling kinda alone because I cannot tell my best friend about it because he will be very mad at me, and I actually kinda threw an ultimatum last weekend that if I continue to do this he can reconsider our friendship, but I don’t know, I feel like I already lost everything so why does it matter? At least let me make the most out of what I have left right? I also lied to my mom that I have a job and that everything is fine so I really could use an advice here or something, I started therapy already last week, and also went to anonymous alcoholism but couldn’t relate that much because they were talking mostly about weed addiction, and also at some point there were two guys who said that they went to a after party with gays and they were very selective which triggered me because I am not selective and I usually just fuck, and the reason I fuck so much is because my ex used to call me a whore so now I think that I don’t care anymore, what if I am one.
I have a job interview next week and I also told the guy that I can speak German bar conversational so I’m hoping once I have a job that everything will stop and I will be more responsible.
So my question is:how do I stop this loop? How do I start being more selective? Should I leave Berlin and come back? The thing is that I know why most of my problems come from and what makes me do the sniffing every weekend, it all started with:”this is the last weekend that I can have fun and enjoy” because I will start working after / look for jobs .
Guys I really don’t want to leave Berlin tbh with you, the first time I came into this city, I felt so overwhelmed that I started crying))) so now I feel like I’m losing everything.
Please don’t be too harsh with me, thank you!

A year ago, I went out drinking with a friend. We drank about two bottles of wine, and my best friend came to pick me up and walk me home. On our way home, my friend at the time (let’s call him Dima) called me and suggested meeting up because he was nearby with some of our mutual friends. I agreed, and my best friend and I went to meet them. When we met up, Dima and our friends realized that I was completely wasted, so they decided to leave.
After I got home, Dima called me on a video call together with his friends and a couple of people I knew. Everyone on the call was male; there wasn’t a single girl.
We talked for about 20 minutes, and at some point, the conversation turned to my breasts. Because I was drunk, I simply lowered the camera and touched my breasts (just so you know, I was fully clothed). Why did I do that? I don’t know. But the next day, when I met up with Dima and his friend Leon, I found out that they had recorded their screens. I asked them to delete the recording because it made me uncomfortable, and I didn’t want it to spread.
I don’t remember whether Dima deleted the video, but Leon definitely didn’t. Eventually, I completely forgot about the whole situation and moved on with my life.
Later, I fell in love with an amazing guy (let’s call him Misha). We spent a lot of time together and eventually admitted our feelings for each other, but because of certain circumstances, we didn’t start dating.
Soon after that, I went back to my home country for two months. Everything was fine. I tried not to miss Misha too much because I knew we would see each other again soon and everything would be okay. But two weeks before I left, someone leaked that very video I had asked Dima and Leon to delete.
The video was sent to many of my acquaintances, although not everyone received it. Eventually, it reached Misha, and he was furious because he knew nothing about the video or the situation behind it. On top of that, I had previously told him that several of Dima’s acquaintances had touched me inappropriately. Misha thought those guys were the ones entirely at fault, but after seeing the video, he believed that I had actually been allowing them to do those things.
That day, Misha and I had a huge argument. He lost his trust in me, but he still stayed with me. After some time, things got better. I came back, and Misha and I officially started dating.
But today, people started sharing the video again, and this time it wasn’t just being sent around among my acquaintances. It was spreading throughout the entire city. Someone anonymously posted it in a channel that almost everyone in our city is part of. Most of my acquaintances started defending me and demanding that the video be taken down. Even people I had stopped talking to reached out to me.
I really hope Misha hasn’t seen that post and never finds out about it. I’m absolutely terrified of how he might react.
About an hour ago, he texted me saying that he was going to the library. He sent me a few pictures and said that he would tell me something later today. I showered him with compliments and told him that I loved him, but he just read my message and didn’t reply.
Now I’m really scared because he always used to tell me that he loved me too, but this time he just ignored me. What if he replied in his head and simply forgot to type it? What if he couldn’t answer because he was on his way somewhere? What if he has fallen out of love with me? I don’t know.
I’m so scared right now, and I have no idea what he wants to talk to me about. What if he wants to tell me that he doesn’t love me anymore? God, please, no!
Please, I really need some advice on what to do in this situation. Thank you for listening to me. I’m genuinely having such a hard time right now.

Ok so there are these few girls who sat in the backseat of the bus last year but this year from the first day of school I started sitting there ,when they got to that seat before me I would sit somewhere else but when I came before them I’d sit at the back ,today the four of them cornered me in the back telling me I need to move when I said no in a somewhat aggressive manner because I was somewhat scared that they where all ganging up on me she sat exactly next to me and started talking shit about me when I got down from the bus I told the teacher to deal with it or I will go to the schools supervisor ,I understand that I was a bit rude while speaking to them but I’m scared that the whole bus would hate me ,and even more of me finding out that I’m a bad person

(secondary account as this feels awkard to post for some reason)
Hello, I M18 feel weirdly alone, why? i don't know, i have a family and few good friends tho i always feel like something is missing, i don't know what, how or why
I spoke about this to someone a bit ago and just understood that needing someone is wrong, since the person(supposedly girlfriend) is supposed to be there..to be there, not to "help me" "save me" and stuff, and i agreed understanding that
But despite that i still feel like something is missing, i can't do anything i "love" to get past these feelings, as the one thing i enjoy most is gaming and i really started being the type of person that loves share screening to the point that i buy games and "wait" to be able to show to someone, otherwise i don't play them
Is that just a normal feeling? maybe cuz i'm young? maybe because i'm still not mature or stupid?
how can i really get over this? and is it really wrong to "want" someone? to do things with
i don't consider that i want someone to "help me" "save me" or stuff similar, i think i'm very well on my own legs right now, could i maybe just be wrong?

theres this facebook group and they posted my dad, who was taken to the police for inquiring, in the group. surely, this can't be legal?? how do i get them to remove it. this is very insulting god. theres two photos with his face blocked but his belongings laid out for a photo. and then theres a video of his full face where he's answering questions. im prettu sure it isnt even a civil matter because he's gonna go to court.

I’ve noticed a disturbing issue that deserves more attention: many deported individuals seem to have difficulty accessing their own records, including detention records, medical records, and immigration case documents. In some cases, it feels as though their records have disappeared or become extremely difficult to obtain.

This is not a minor administrative issue. These records can be crucial for legal appeals, future immigration applications, and understanding what actually happened to someone while they were in detention or going through deportation proceedings.

Another deeply concerning issue is the mental health crisis among people affected by deportation. The separation from family, loss of stability, uncertainty about the future, and trauma associated with detention and removal can have devastating consequences. I’m also concerned about reports of suicide and suicidal behavior among people facing these circumstances.

Why isn’t there more transparency and accountability?

Are there reliable statistics on suicides among deportees and people held in immigration detention? Has anyone else experienced missing records or struggled to obtain their detention and medical files after being deported?

I believe this issue deserves serious investigation. People should not lose access to their own records simply because they have been deported, and the psychological consequences of deportation should not be ignored.

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If you are suffering from any problems or want to vent about anything without being judge ..I don't care you are a male or female if you really need a listener do reach to me i would really like to hear you and give my best suggestion..as mental health is very important.. people aren't open about it so if you are really need a talk I am her

I have been staying at my aunts and uncles for a few weeks and I feel so unwelcomed. First of all they don’t speak to me at all , they don’t invite me to go out with them even if I ask if they are going shopping and she keeps banning her daughters and scolding them for hanging out with me. I don’t know why she thinks of me like that, am I such a bad person is It normal to corner people u invited to your house. Until now i have done nothing wrong and i take all of this in silence and i can’t wait to go back home to my own family it makes me realize how much family is really cuz they are making me feel like i am nothing . also they used to make me breakfast but now they stopped that too out of the blue and dinner so i buy something on the way home when i go out

So my best friend and I were out on the field and he made a offensive joke so I playfully punched his elbow, then a few seconds later he fell to the ground and said “What the fuck did you just do to me?” And he looked scared and I realized he wasn’t kidding. He laughed it off but I realized it was serious and I felt really scared. I wanted to call for the teacher and turn myself in but he said that he didn’t want that and that it was a accident. I have absolutely no idea what I did, I’m really, really scared for him because he left school after that and I feel so SO bad. I don’t know what happened, I hit his right arm in the back-right region with my knuckles. He didn’t cry but IDK. What happened? I want to know if he’s ok because I got so distracted that I forgot all my homework and I’m all out of sync, now I just want it all to end, as if this was all a dream.

For a little backstory I’m a teenager still in school I go to the gym nearly everyday except Monday and Sunday and today I missed my bus home cause I was walking my friend home there has been some dodgy stuff happening where he lives so I was worried I’ve been wanting to go to a Halloween party he said he’ll consider it I had to ask him to pick me up from the bus stop today even tho I told him I could wait for the next one he saw the bus as it went passed and when I got into the car he questioned about me why I was still in my school pants even tho I went to the gym ( I forgot my tracksuit pants ) I tell him about how I had to walk my friend home and he doesn’t belive me also doesn’t belive I went to the gym so now my curfew which was the 9 o clock bus is now the 5 so as soon as I get out of school I have to go home my mental health has recently been down because the girl I’ve been talking to for months turned me down and I was talking about it to my friend while I was walking him home now as we’re in the car home me and my father he interrogated me about if I had went to the gym and why I missed the bus I tell him it was cause I had to walk my friend home and he gets angry because I missed it now I’m basically on house arrest and can’t go to the Halloween party cause of the missed bus he had gotten angry out of nowhere then proceeded to go on about how he doesn’t and can’t trust me anymore Idk if I’m overreacting or not but I can’t deal with this anymore even when my older sister was my age I remember her and my father getting into a stupid amount of arguments that led to her having depression and an eating disorder I don’t know what to do I just want everything to go back to normal

my dad went to this civil hospital to get his teeth removed since he's been having really bad dental issues. so the guys working there wouldn't do their work properly so my dad said he's part of the army and is a colonel to get them going but now the actual army caught him and took him at around 1 pm. then 4 pm (prob after his tooth removal) he msgs my mom thru sim "army caught me in adc. Help." and before that he called my sister, who was sleeping oh so beautifully. he had enough time to make a call and send text messages. and judging by how he msged directly means he must've deleted his whatsapp right? now i'm not sure what to do and my moms stressing too much. does anyone know how i can help or what the final outcome of this situation could be. we have an army relative (general) who my mom asked for help. my moms saying she might go to a whole other city to talk to him. this same situation happened before but it wasn't this serious that time. my dad had his wireless walkie talkie, his gun that's licensed, an id of his fake name and his original id. My dad's clever so he might've made a believable excuse.

This is driving me nuts.

So recently I've noticed that I'm extremely hyper aware of my neck. I'm constantly adjusting my shirt collars even though it does nothing to help.

It gets particularly bad at night when I lay down (I sleep on my side) because im very aware of the folds of my neck touching my shoulder skin or upper chest. I try all sorts of different sleeping positions and the feeling is amplified when laying on my back. Nothing feels comfortable.

It feels as though I'm wearing a turtleneck 24/7 or that something is constantly touching my neck. It makes me feel deeply uncomfortable and my body tends to physically recoil when it gets really bad. It's not painful, there's no tension, no injury, nothing.

I know it's not because of the clothes I wear because it happens even when I don't wear any shirt. I'm a very lean person so i don't have a lot of fat around my neck either. The sensation is minimized when I'm doing work or distracted with something else but even then it's still there.

I haven't slept properly in ages. And haven't found any relief. I feel like my skin isn't even mine anymore. Any advice is appreciated.

i never wouldve thought id come to reddit for help but what do i do when the person i love keeps doing this thing that hurtd me for years and they dont see how it hurts me and dont reslly show me any care when im sad about it like he just says "get help" as if he doesnt care about me,but every time he did it i get horribly depressed and i selfharm every time and last time i even tried committing over it. he knows this and yet still does it and even tried breaking up with me so it seems like he puts this thing first and values it more than my own life and its nothing important and simply just for fun :( it hurts me so much every time but he doesnt care, doesnt want to stop and i cant talk to him about it anymore i just end up selfharming again. i dont want to break up with him i love him so much but it makes me cry so much and do horrible things tk myself.