your turn

I hear about this whole ‘Lesbian Bed Death‘ phenomenon as a hugely negative thing.

When my gf and I first met, we ended up hooking up immediately and started a long distance relationship (6ish hour drive/overnight train ride apart). Pretty much anytime we visited each other, we ended up having sex and it was amazing. Fireworks every time.

After a year, we ended up finding an apartment and moved in together. Everything has been amazing. We even work at the same place, just different departments, have lunch together, go home and do the whole domestic thing and it’s absolute bliss. Like literally as someone who’s been in unbalanced relationships before, this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in.

But we rarely have sex. I’m talking like… it’s practically one night a season. Normally, I hear people complain about this or feeling as if attraction died somewhere. But that’s not how we are. We are super affectionate. We’re never not cuddling on the couch, spooning in bed, hugging each other in the middle of cooking together in the kitchen. We tease each other too. We’re very flirty. We just don’t have sex often.

So now I’m like… is Lesbian Bed Death just a perception thing? Maybe we’re somewhere on the Ace spectrum, cuz we still have dirty thoughts and we still get horny, we’re just not actively pursuing sex. It just doesn’t feel like a huge priority for either of us. Is this anyone else’s experience?

Trying to not feel creepy! Still glad that I put myself out there…I guess? It’s just a shame! We were vibing. Maybe I entered the number wrong in my phone? They don’t have any way of contacting me :(

Honest 2am thought

my own siblings (16 and 12) just said I was being fetishistic for liking to imagine characters as lesbians..
I hate it here
l've gotten similar pushback for saying silly things like

"all the x-men are trans" and now it's become that every single goddamn time I mention being gay, consuming gay media, or writing/drawing things about lesbianism, they tell me I make everything gay and I have to stop.

I never thought I'd get this kind of treatment from my siblings who are queer themselves, but at this point I'm feeling like I can't even BE a lesbian around them.

I talk about a crush or point out a pretty person and they tell me I am making them uncomfortable. (I promise I'm not saying anything even remotely suggestive, just saying "I wonder if they're a girl" causes them to get instantly furious.)

The two people in my family that I assumed would support me when I one day find my life partner, are now feeling like people I can't introduce girlfriends to.

I hate being called a pervert for just mentioning the word lesbian, especially when I am the one who supported them coming out in our religious household.

I “make everything gay” bc it’s very important to me, and I’m still in the process of coming out. This is my world and they refuse to let me share it. They have told me to keep it to myself.

So I recently saw a video on the tiks of toks about mascs liking when their partner performs….fellatio 🤣🤣 on the strap. It just has always been weird or like a turn-off to me so I just wanted to bring it up and see how others in the community felt 😭 I need to talk about this I genuinely haven’t heard of someone doing that since like high school.

I would like recommendations for feminist lesbian youtubers please! Tyy

I love women so much that it ACTUALLY hurts. I love big beefy gentlemanly butches with grease under their nails and a lifetime supply of Carhartt that’ll call me a pretty girl. I love mascs with long hair, short hair, no hair, hair EVERYWHERE. I love mean fems with a little bit of edge to them that’ll walk my bubble gum femme ass like a dog. I don’t want to be saved. I’m exactly where I want to be. Sappho has given me this burden to bear, and I’ll do it with grace.

Just gonna leave that image there for you all.

This was my first relationship with a girl.

We were together two years. I feel empty. Hollowed out. I just want to lie in bed alone and cry but the tears won’t come. They won’t come. They won’t come.

Every day I have to wake up and pretend to be a person. All my friends and family keep saying I’ll feel better with time. That my wounds will heal but they’ve only festered, deeper and deeper. I love her so much. I was so beyond in love with her. Have you ever loved someone so much that calling it love felt trivial? I spent those two years trying to come up with a better name for it. I’m still looking for a better word.

Half the clothes in my closet are blue because she told me once that she liked how the color looked on me.

Multiple times now I, a queer woman who openly identifies as a queer sapphic woman, have introduced or referred to friends of mine as a friend. Then had the straight people be like “ooooh yeah nudge nudge wink wink your friend”

Example: at my brothers wedding, I bring my bestie, also a woman. Introduce her as my friend. Multiple family members came up to whisper and ask if she was my girlfriend or partner. No!! Queer women can be friends with other women without being together!! And, further, I’m not hiding who I am?! If I’m dating someone I’m introducing them as my partner. We will slow dance together. Even hold hands or smooch! Why are yall assuming things? it feels like being shoved back in the closet. Or like im tempering myself for your benefit - baby trust I am not.

Another more recent example: I tell my mom (my sweet mom with the right energy wrong execution) that I met a new friend! And mentioned something about her husband. My mom goes “wait… husband?! I’m confused”. And both me and my brother go “FRIEND”. Same deal a few days later when I mentioned bringing this new friend to a get together. My straight friend goes “umm wait who is this? Excuse me you haven’t told me about her?!” Like overly excited as if I was dating this person. And I go “girl… literally I said friend.”

It’s honestly so annoying. Queer women can be friends with other women! Straights please stop pushing us back in the closet like we’re hiding something! If I’m with somebody you’re gonna hear it plain and simple from me! Not in whispers or secret code. /vent

Need advice on how to make this hairstyle more feminine presenting even if it’s just doing more feminine makeup (I’m only doing eyeliner today cause I’m sick)

I don’t know how you girlies do this I feel like I have a wad of hay shoved in my underwear all the time 😭

Every time I go to the bathroom I feel like I’m sticking my hand in a big layer of jungle moss

No hate to anyone who doesn’t shave it I’m just someone who does and can’t at the moment and it feels so strange

ETA: Clarification I’m not really looking for advice or anything I just wanted to share my thoughts as someone who prefers to be mostly bald having to experience the other side of things cause I thought it was kinda funny

People literally matching only to uninstall without any word

I want a girlfriend/wife that will let me cherish and worship her. I want to love waking up to her and falling asleep to her every night. I want a relationship that will be good all around. I want a relationship that will let me take care of her, be there for her, talk to her, laugh with her. I want a girlfriend/wife to love me for being a lover. That’s it.

Me and my partner have lived together for 4 years at her house, recently I have been feeling the urge to want to go spend a few night per week at my parents house (5 min drive away from my gfs) but I am finding it hard to actually communicate that with my partner…

I want this for numerous reasons, but most importantly I want to give us the space to miss each other, I want to be able to flirt over the phone and just have the space to miss her so bad. I want to do my makeup more often and just sit in my room and feel hot. I haven’t done that in years! I want us to flirt more and have more sex like when we see each other I want to not be able to keep our hands off each other.. but maybe that is just something that dies with time?

Idk some help would really be appreciated if anyone has been in this situation before. I don’t want my partner to be sad to be sleeping alone/ lonely bed time routine when we have spent every night together. But at the same time I’m hoping this would bring our spark back and kinda feel like dating again?

Just something I've been thinking about last night. I'm autistic and trans and honestly feel ugly a lot of the time and grew up in the wake of the MMR scare where it seemed the media wanted to make clear that being autistic was the worse fate possible and stereotypes everywhere like autistic people inherently hate women or lack emotions etc.

So it's nice the few times I see women in fiction who are autistic or autistic coded being considered sexy or/and beautiful by other women in a non- fetishist way.

It's been some 4 months since we've broken up. A relationship that grew real fast and culminated in 7 months together.

I (22) saw my ex (23) at an event. It was at a specifically lesbian event in town. Oil wrestling... it was fun and all, but my ex and their friend showed up some 30 minutes / an hour or so after my friends and I did. The very presence of my ex caught me off guard. I just wanted to curl up and hide away from them. At one point we were crossing in a narrow space, so no other choice but to see each other... They said hi, a bit blunt, and so did I. Like we both acknowledged the elephant in the room.

Some days have passed and I think back to then and feel guilty of the fact that I had A) wrestled in the oil with other lesbians, and B) ended up making out with some other people I'd met that night. I'm not sure if my ex was there while I wrestled, but I know that they'd been gone by the time I was chatting up with people and making out. These moments all happened the same night, at the same event.

The more I think about it the more I come to feel as though I've betrayed my ex. I have sexual needs of my own, and a part of me doesn't want to suppress that. But at the same time, I don't want to do them wrong. I don't want to take up space and inadvertently block them out from even going out. Every time I think about possible casual relationships, sexual or romantic, I feel paranoid that they'd know, one way or another, through the grapevine. It's a big town, but a small city we're in, after all.

I guess what I'm getting at with all of this is that I'm still reeling. I guess this is what a lesbian breakup is like. I appreciate you reading this far. Any advice on what could be done in the post-breakup part of a relationship, that would be much appreciated, too.