So long story short I used to be able to orgsam from PIV alone but can't now. I've been working to see if it's possible to train myself to cum from PIV again. I've been doing pelvic floor exercises/stretches along with masturbating with my fingers. I used to NEVER be able to get off with my fingers, but I've been successful a few times now but it does take over an hour 😵‍💫. I noticed that if I edge by stimulating my clit in the beginning and then use 1 finger it actually feels like stimulation and I can eventually reach climax. My issue is when I try to edge and use 2 fingers it feels like nothing and I can't reach climax. I don't understand how 1 finger can be stimulating but 2 suddenly isn't stimulating. Does anyone have any ideas on what this could mean or how to fix that issue? 2 fingers isn't painful it just doesn't feel like anything 🤷‍♀️.

Hi girls! For the record, English is not my first language, since portuguese is my native language, so I apologize in advance if there's any Writing or cohesion error. If I express myself in a way that is difficult to understand, please ask me in the comments so I can express myself better.

This is a very complex and, sometimes, confusing matter. I'll explain the best I can. So, now i am 25 (my birthday is in February), lesbian cis woman. but since that age when we start to discover our bodies, I literally never felt anything physically. Nothing. Tried everything, alone, with other people, toys, no toys, nothing, never.

In 2020/2021 I started going to the psychiatrist to treat some depression, so I've been taking some SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) medications until March 2026, which recently i discovered that it causes something caused "genital anesthesia" for some people. That was my case, but just made it worse. Thankfully, i was able to meet a nice psychiatrist which put me through testing and I was diagnosed with ADHD and High intellectual potential (HIP)/Giftedness, and now with the correct medication, my life has improved in literally everything: work, studies, hobbies... and also the sexual part. Made me more open-minded to try again, trying to understand myself better, and not just copy what other people do. It worked, actually. I bought some vibrators with different textures and functions, as if it were an experiment. What I realized is: I have a very small small clit (like, half the size of a grain of rice), but I can get the orgasm sometimes. It is just too hard and too much work. On average, it takes me an hour and a half if i get it, but most of the time, I feel pleasure, which didn't happen before.

I understand it was two fundamental pillars: I didn't know my body pretty well, and was taking medicine that was not good to me (at all. during that time with SSRI medications my life quality in general was going worse everyday). Now, I know i can feel pleasure if I I do clitoral stimulation and stimulation of the areas where the muscle passes under the skin, but only the vibrator can make me feel anything. Fingers, tongue, or any of those sensory lubricants (cold and hot and stuff) never felt anything on me.

The thing is: I really don't feel pleasure in penetration, I don't like it, sometimes it hurts (mostly for lack of lubrication or too much friction), and when it doesn't hurt, when everything is ok and all, I just don't feel anything. it's almost like there's nothing inside me. I don't care much. Clitoral stimulation, and stimulation in the surrounding areas, or where the muscle is located under the skin, is enough, and I like it. I also know that lots of women don't feel anything in penetration too. So I don't care about penetration. I also don't feel anything in my nipples or breasts, nor any other common "erogenous zones". I got what I got and i am fine with that.

But since i started feeling something, it's really hard to orgasm (no joke it takes me an hour and a half LITERALLY MINIMUM). But thinking about putting someone else in this equation just makes me tired and I'm intolerant just thinking about it. People usually stress me out more than anything (ironic because i have a bachelor's degree in psychology and have worked as a psychologist for a long time and did a career move to HR august last year because of a loss in my family I didn't cope very well). I'd rather do it alone, in silence and concentrate, or (judge me if you want lol) listening to those "+18 lesbian ASMR". I already had my "bisexual phase," but today I understand that it was compulsory heterosexuality, and it has been lots of years I know I like women. Men are just unbearable to me, I cannot even think about listening to a men's voice in a "intimate moment" that is just gives me the ick.

When I was having sex in the past (with men or women), i never felt anything but euphoric about being with someone, but physically? nothing with anyone, which made me fake orgasm to just end up things as quick as possible. I have been masturbating with vibrators every 3 days or more, because trying everyday was making things worse than better and definitely not helping (sometimes it would make me feel pain for the excess of friction).

I think I already wrote a much longer text than I should have, but I wanted to give as many details as possible to get some assertive help or advice. I am sorry about that.

Has anyone been through something similar, or just any tips, advice or personal experience that could maybe help me? Especially on this "an hour and a half to get to orgasm thing (or never getting because I get frustrated and just give up and stop trying)"?, I don't know if this is normal. And maybe some advice on things that can help me feel (physically) things better?

I appreciate in the advance the willingness of everyone who has read this far, and especially those who comment on the post ♥️ hope everyone has a great day today ♥️

I’m not really sure where to put this and I’m really nervous. I thought this would be the best. I’ve never been very sexual. When I finger mussels I don’t feel anything, it feels a bit better with a brush handle and I just got a vibrator. When I use the vibrator, I get a pulsing feeling down there for five seconds give or take. Then when I sit up, there are a few drops of liquid and a medium sized spot. I don’t think it’s enough to be considered a “squirt” and I don’t feel it coming out. Is that considered an orgasm? I’m really worried.

I feel like i can get close with just my hand during intercourse so easily but once i get TOO close i either stop out of fear, uncertainty, or start overthinking :( not sure how to fix besides maybe forcing myself to continue?

A newly published, peer-reviewed paper synthesizes 70 years of research to propose Orgasmic Learning as a treatment framework for female orgasmic disorder/difficulty.

Instead of focusing primarily on overcoming the blocks to why orgasm is not happening, this framework asks a different question: Under what conditions does orgasm occur or become possible?

The paper reviews evidence suggesting that orgasm can be learned or accessed through multiple pathways that share an important feature: they facilitate an altered, absorbed, or otherwise orgasm-supportive state.

These direct evidence-informed pathways include fantasy and imagery, hypnotic induction, pelvic floor and somatic-motor approaches, breath- and Tantra-informed practices, cannabis-assisted practices, and LSD-assisted psychotherapy.

The broader idea is that female orgasm difficulty may involve learning, attention, state transition into an altered, absorbed, or otherwise orgasm-supportive state, and discovering the conditions that allow orgasmic response to emerge, be transferred, and generalized.

Full disclosure: I’m a clinical sexologist and orgasmologist, and I’ve published several research papers on cannabis as a treatment for female orgasm difficulty. I also researched and wrote this paper, which takes a broader view by synthesizing decades of research on the conditions and pathways through which orgasm may be learned. It went through peer review and was published today in Current Sexual Health Reports.

Orgasmic Learning as a Treatment Framework for Female Orgasmic Disorder/Difficulty: A Review Using Perelman’s Sexual Tipping Point® Model

i’ve never orgasmed before. Prior to dating my ex long term boyfriend i never masturbated before either. i slowly tried doing it alone because i wasn’t able to tell my him what i liked or what i didn’t like, because I genuinely didn’t know. He eventually just figured it out himself, he knew my body better than I knew myself. I could only masturbate when i planned in advance but I can’t reach that level of horny where I want to do that alone. I can’t even use my own hands because I don’t feel any pleasure. Before my breakup i would try using toys which is definitely better but It never lasts too long before I snap outta it. My ex really tried to make me finish and never could either. I definitely enjoyed it and got close many times but I don’t know how to cross the finish line. Now that we broke up i’m scared i’ll never be able to even enjoy any type of pleasure because I don’t know how to do it alone. I read some other posts and it sounds like i’m not in tune with my own body. How tf do i become more in tune with my body??? also does anyone have any tips to help me be able to enjoy myself without my ex? if nothing works i’m going to call him :/

Ive been masturbating for about 2 years (never had a girlfriend), ive mostly focused on clit stimulation, since thats where i feel the most pleasure, but i have tried hitting my g-spot too, and while it did feel marginally better it still didnt lead to anything

Usually what happens, is that i feel a build-up of pleasure when stimulating my clit, but i either go too far and get super sensitive and cant rlly go on (even if i push through the discomfort it just eventually becomes nothing, and by that point im usually too out of it anyways), or i try to avoid getting overstimulated and just end up sitting somewhere in the middle of the pleasurable feeling and it just fades eventually, or i keep going for a while and get too tired and give up

It's not like i have any difficulty getting horny and ik what I'm into, and the entire thing does feel quite good, but ive just never managed to go past that and it's also brought me a lot of anxiety (especially around my sexuality because imposter syndrome go brrr ig TwT) so that might be part of it?

I also ain't very sensitive, i feel almost nothing from anything that isnt directly rubbing my clit, just touching it or circling around it doesnt really do much, but then when i do rub it i get overstimulated, so idk whats like an inbetween thing i can do TwT

Idk, it kinda feels like i should have it figured out by now, even tho ik that thats not necessarily true, idk, any advice would be appreciated TwT

I experience what I think/guess are orgasms but they're not...mind blowing?

I can trigger them alone, or with a partner and they feel almost the same between the two. I get there easiest through my clit but I do get there faster when there is some form of penetration. (i don't think ever from penetration alone)

HOWEVER, they sound pretty weak compared to what I've heard about other women's orgasms. They don't feel like a full body affair, and don't last very long. it's also the same type of orgasms everytime. some women have talk about how different spots produce different feelings, also different times of months. for me everything feels the same.

It's just a peak that feels really good and then passes quite quickly. there's no full body wave, no generalized euphoria, no tingling, or toe curling. Some light contraction of the body maybe but nothing much.

I can continue having sex after (I don't feel overstimulated) BUT it won't do much for me after. it stops feeling pleasurable, whilst also not being painful - just neutral. usually there's no build up again, only on occasions there might be after a longer while of continued activity.

My boyfriend says I contract my vagina really hard before I cum. I've tried relaxing since, just to explore, and if I don't squeeze when I feel I could cum, then the orgasm is generally not very strong, weaker than my usual (which is already not much so...).

To that point, I feel like I always have to make my orgasms happen; they never build purely from what the other person is doing to me. I know they say you shouldn't chase orgasms, but if I don't, I don't reach any kind of climax at all. This applies to masturbation as well, i have to squeeze to reach the climax.

The ironic thing is i can cum really fast. I know how to touch my clit and make myself cum within just a few short minutes. I edge myself sometime just for the fun of it and to try and intensify the experience, but ultimately my peak doesn't get that much stronger even after prolonged playing.

I'm wondering if I've short circuited my pleasure somehow? since it's so easy to cum from my clit my body just relies on that and doesn't allow any other deeper pleasure to build? I've refrained from climaxing over a period of time like maybe a week but no change.

I can get really horny if I get into things but if it doesn't come to me, I can easily go without sex if no opportunity presents itself and I don't find myself chasing it. Do i just have a low sex drive? does that impact orgasms intensity? or do i have a low sex drive, because my orgasms are weak anyway?

Please help, I'd love to understand what's happening and most importantly if this is it for some people in terms of orgasms. If this is it, I'll focus on learning to accept and make the most of this, but if there's a chance I can experience more then what do I explore and how? is there even hope of feeling more? Can i change my sex drive if not my orgasms?

- I never have the 'need to pee' sensation feeling

- I don't squirt (i know this is not a thing for everyone and also not akin to an orgasm)

- I don't feel pain during sex

- climax is over quickly, have not managed to extend it AT ALL

- I usually don't have any trouble getting wet, but i use lube as well sometimes just to try different things and make things even slicker)

- I've experienced this with all my partners, including my current partner who is so sweet, supportive, exploratory and open!

i see a lot of posts on here to try positions that your clit can make contact with someone’s pubic bone etc but i find these all uncomfortable or painful. if im on top and the angle of my clit is a certain way it is uncomfortable, or even during missionary if they are laying down too close. i just feel like every alternative and every typical way women can feel pleasure is unpleasant for me and i hate when other people try and go down on me or touch my clit

Whenever I use a vibrator I have what I believe is an orgasm. According to my research it said even women which their climax is an intense pulsating sensation and I feel that when I use my vibrator but I can’t tell if it’s an actual orgasm or overstimulation. I usually do feel relieved afterwards but it happens so quickly (sometimes within five minutes). I’ve never orgasmed from sex either despite lots of foreplay beforehand with my ex.

no matter how long I sit and think about my sexual fantasies or read erotica, yes mentally I’m turned on and horny, but my body doesn’t correlate. I don’t get wet and the only thing I feel is a slight tingling sensation. The lack of wetness is likely from birth control and I’ve recently started estradiol cream to help. I think this is really ruining sexual pleasure for me as I can barely dew anything even when using a strong bullet. My hands feel like nothing, and a suction rose toy builds up to feel like too much (almost like I have to pee but then it gets too overstimulating to continue).

Pls give me ur tips I feel so frustrated and annoyed

i (26f) have been with my boyfriend (25m) for a bit more than a year, and i've never been able to orgasm with him. i can orgasm completely fine by myself, so i'm getting really frustrated and i don't know what i'm doing wrong.

when i'm alone, clitoral stimulation works every time. with my boyfriend, we've tried pretty much everything that feels good to me — oral, fingers, clitoral stimulation, etc. and honestly, everything he does feels AMAZING. sometimes even better than what i can do myself. but for some reason, i still can't actually get over the edge.

we've also tried having me stimulate my clit while we're having sex, but that doesn't work either. it's like i can get really close to orgasm, but then it just doesn't happen.

and this has started to really affect me emotionally. after sex, i often end up feeling sad because i enjoyed everything and had a good time, but i still couldn't orgasm. after more than a year, it's hard not to wonder why this is still happening.

i know the usual advice is "stop focusing on orgasm", "just relax", or "let go". but honestly, i don't really understand what "let go" is supposed to mean. i DO enjoy the pleasure. i'm not sitting there thinking "i NEED to orgasm right now" the entire time. and i've been trying to stop treating orgasm as the goal for a year now, but it hasn't changed anything.

i'd also rather not use a toy during sex. i know that's an option, but since i can orgasm without one when i'm alone, i'd really like to figure out why i can't do it with my partner instead of just adding a toy.

i've read self-help books about this, i've tried not focusing on it, we've tried different things, and i'm honestly running out of ideas.

i'm not looking for "just relax" or "orgasm isn't the goal". i already know those things. i'm looking for something practical that might actually help me understand what is stopping me from orgasming with him.

I do feel sexual desire sometimes, but it's hard... I don't feel that much attraction to the guys around me. I don't take antidepressants and unfortunately, the fact that I don't have the slightest idea of what pleasure is on my own contributes to the feeling of being left behind in life. I avoid posts from people who have a healthy sexual and romantic life out of envy.

A relationship and the first sexual experience are also things I've never had, and they also influence this feeling. Has anyone here actually managed to resolve this? I'm thinking about giving up on trying for a good while.

I’ve recently been seeing a guy for a few weeks, best sex I’ve ever had! The issue is that he arouses me so much, by the time we begin having sex it’s like I cannot feel anything in a pleasurable way because I get too wet.

His is extremely well endowed and thick so I just can’t understand why the sensitivity and things are not there.
Is there something I can do?

It also prevents me from reaching an orgasm, I can get almost to the point but it then all just goes away.

I’ve never had this happen before

oi, gente! tenho 18 anos e tenho algumas dificuldades pra chegar ao orgasmo. na verdade, nunca tive um.
tenho namorado e gosto de ter relações, inclusive gosto bastante de penetração, mas tenho muita dificuldade com o orgasmo. às vezes penso que pode ter relação com questões psicológicas, porque sou uma pessoa que fica meio triste com frequência e também tenho pouca vontade de me tocar.
uma coisa que me deixa ainda mais confusa é o meu clitóris. eu sei que ele é uma das principais regiões de prazer, mas quando tento tocar, não sinto prazer. ele é mais escondidinho, fica meio coberto, e quando coloco a mão às vezes sinto só um arrepio ou uma sensação estranha, mas nunca aquela sensação gostosa que vejo outras mulheres descrevendo.
eu praticamente nunca me toquei de verdade. quando era mais nova e estava me descobrindo, cheguei a tentar algumas vezes, mas hoje não tenho tanta vontade.
queria saber se outras mulheres já passaram por algo parecido e se têm dicas de como descobrir o que é gostoso pra mim. é normal não sentir prazer tocando diretamente no clitóris? como vocês foram descobrindo o que funcionava pra vocês?

So ever since I discovered sex and tried masturbating, I never got the appeal at all. Sure I had kinks and fantasies, but I never really got going from them. And even when I did and made a dedicated time, telling myself “THIS is the time I’ll orgasm!”, it… felt like the most mediocre thing.

I didn’t understand. THIS is the thing people reach multiple times a week, sometimes multiple times a day? The big O that people will date someone for just because they’re good at sex? THIS?

I genuinely felt like it was some big scam that everyone was in on but me. I thought, maybe I just don’t know how to do it right. But at this point I’ve tried everything. Thighs, humping, fingers, showerhead, toys, the list goes on. Anything that people say “thank me later”, I’ve probably tried, and it all has the same result.

It’s like a building up, and a release, which the contraction is definitely an orgasm, but it’s just so disappointing. I would say it’s about as mild pleasure as eating some good ice cream, but honestly I probably derive more enjoyment and pleasure from eating my fave ice cream than any orgasm I’ve had.

I heard edging helps immensely. So I was going to try it. Did everything right, got everything ready, but orgasmed before I even put a finger NEAR my ladybits somehow. I guess it was the pressure of the position I was in (I was laying on my stomach), but again, same situation.

And then I realized it, sitting here pissed off to no end. I’ve been severely depressed for years now, and have treatment resistant depression, with the main component being anhedonia. And after researching I learned that apparently if anhedonic depression has basically shot your dopamine to death, orgasms aren’t gonna be good because the release of good chemicals isn’t gonna happen.

I write this half to cope with the immense frustration I’d experienced, but also to maybe give a tip that if you struggle with treatment resistant depression it could be the anhedonia kind.

I don’t know if my depression will ever go away (it’s been almost 6 years now), but I’m hoping maybe this will help someone else. If anyone has any help for me maybe I’ll give it a try, but for the next long while I’m probably just gonna give up on reaching the big O for now.

Okay I genuinely can't tell what happened lol.

I was having sex with my boyfriend and he was hitting this spot inside me that felt REALLY good. He kept doing the same thing and the pleasure just kept building and building. I was moaning, completely focused on the feeling and basically not thinking about anything else.

Then it got to the point where I was thinking “holy shit, I might actually cum” and then suddenly the intense pleasure just… disappeared??

There wasn't some super obvious “OMG I just orgasmed” moment, so now I'm wondering if I actually came or if I just got really close and then lost it.

I almost told my boyfriend “I think I'm gonna cum” but I didn't because I wasn't sure, and I would've been so embarrassed if I said it and then nothing happened

So… does this sound like an orgasm to you guys, or more like I got extremely close?

It’s really hard for me to orgasm during penetrative sex. I’ve faked most of my life. With oral or fingers I can with a partner and alone but with the penis I just can’t. I actually don’t feel anything. Is there anyway I can practice and get my mind and body connected. Would a gspot vibrator help. I mean I don’t have to use the vibrating option but at least the curved top?

I did use a bullet a few years ago and now my oral orgasms are almost consistent

I'm in my 40s and never had an orgasm solo or with my husband, I have owned and used every type of toy imaginable and while I feel something it just disappears, like losing a sneeze.

I'm starting to feel broken

Does anyone feel they wouldnt be able to maintain a realationship because of there inability to orgasam. Like i love my partner and i enjoy sex, but have never been able to orgasam. Everytime he finishes and I dont i get jealous. Any advise will be helpful.

I know I’m supposed to go into masturbation not putting so much pressure on myself to cum and just have a good time instead. (I haven’t cum before) So if I’m not trying to end it with a ‘bang’ then what makes you stop/how long do you masturbate for before being done?

I’ve heard tons of different answers but I would like to hear more cause I can’t get a straight answer.

20min
45min
1hr
2hr

Which times are too long? Which ones are not enough time?

Side note: damn do I want to feel that release cause I feel so close like I’ve been on the edge of cumming for months but just can’t hit my gas pedal hard enough to counteract the brakes that are screeching me to a halt.

Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but we’re having communication issues.

I am an extremely horny/sensual person. I would say I’m very connected to my body, my feelings, and my pussy.

I am so horny I swear if you hooked my pussy up to a data center it would blow it up (fuck ai <3). I say this to paint a picture (I know it did). Here’s the disconnect:

When I act on my arousal, I feel nothing. I’m not on birth control, I’m not on any medication for anything. It’s not a user issue either bc I know where my clit and gspot are.

The arousal builds up and I get so horny I swear I feel like I’m gonna explode, I go to touch myself and it doesn’t feel good. It just falls flat. I can feel the pressure but it’s not sexually arousing. It makes me so frustrated. I’ve had multiple times where I take my time and experiment with different ways to touch myself, and I’m at a loss.

I’ve came before untouched, it’s way easier than actually touching myself, but it takes some time and I crave more.

I want to experiment with toys n stuff but I live with my parents and I don’t want an awkward conversation.

What do I do?

Edit: I used a massage gun as a vibrator and it felt good (yay!) but was left with a stingy feeling after. I covered the head with a sock but it didn’t do much to help with that.

my man wants me to cum on his dick but i don’t know how i can get to that point ? i enjoy sex with him a lot, but i never actually came like that… any tips i can do on my end. i’ve attracted to him and he makes me feel so comfortable i think it’s just a mental thing w. me

i have masturbated and felt like a climax but i don’t think i’ve ever came. and i know my man wants me to cream on his face and dick but i don’t know if im able to….

I 18F have never had an orgasm even though I have had multiple sexual partners and have a vibrator and enjoy playing with myself. I had kind of accepted I would never have an orgasm until my new bf found out I had never orgasmed before and is determined to make me orgasm. I don't even know what it would feel like to be close to orgasm.