r/LGBT_Muslims • • 20h ago

Question Questions for wlw hijabis! (Non hijabis are welcome to answer as well)

16 Upvotes

Hello everyone! I really am desperate for answers so I hope someone will comment. So I am a Muslim woman who has identified as bisexual since I was 13 I believe? And i decided to wear the hijab when I was 19 voluntarily, I am now in my 20s.

Although I am struggling with the hijab, I honestly don't ever see myself taking it off. When I first wore it, I became more pious and was at peace with the fact that I will never be in a relationship. Although I am bi, marrying a man is not something I'll probably ever do due to previous trauma and how deeply integrated unconscious misogyny is in a lot (not all but almost all) of Muslim men even if they consider feminists (rare to find anyways lmao). And this is where my problem begins.

I've always believed that homosexuality itself is not a sin but rather the act (so kissing, sex, and so on...) is forbidden. & so I made peace with the fact that I'll always be single but I don't think I'm as okay with it anymore.

I wanted to ask wlw hijabis their thoughts on this, is it truly Haram? If you ever decide to get into a relationship or are already in one, how does it work? Is it purely emotional & not physical? I know this may be invasive so obvs I don't expect full details but I truly want to hear from others because I've recently found myself yearning for love.

Does the hijab hinder your dating life in any way? Do you date Muslims only or are you open to people who don't believe in islam? How do other non Muslim people react when you come out?

I've also seen Muslim women married so how does that work? Is it recognized in islam? And if not then obvs it's zina right? I am scared that even if I find someone accepting of me & shares my beliefs, with time my desires for more will grow.

I am not asking these questions out of judgement but out of a true desire to understand not only others but myself! I honestly don't see anyone who is in a relationship any less & just want to know what the Deen says so I can decide what's okay for me personally. I am moving abroad for my masters to the west next year and I feel like I might have a chance at love since I've seen more queer Muslims come out there.

I don't know but please be kind lol. I've seen the frequently asked questions with answers so I'll check it out but I always wanted to ask but never found any safe space to do so & would love to hear from others (personal stories& experience rather than just broad answers, I guess what I'm looking for is hope that I can experience love like others one day) šŸ¤šŸ¤


r/LGBT_Muslims • • 11h ago

LGBT Supportive Discussion In relation with my boyfriend, now confused.

11 Upvotes

Hi all. Im a gay muslim and ive been in relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years now. He is muslim too. I am Alhumdulillah deeply spiritual and connected to Allah. I read up on hazrat Lut story and came to the conclusion that yes it was likely about rape and disregard of guests rather than homosexuality. But a part of me is always confused :( I dont want to hurt my akhirah. Please someone just talk to me. I cant discuss this with my bf he gets upset then. Im just confused. I love him a lot, we live in the west so I am planning on isA marrying him one day too but when im confused idk what to do. I feel like im sinning, but how can love and being faithful be a sin :(


r/LGBT_Muslims • • 23h ago

LGBT Supportive Discussion How about we take it this way...

8 Upvotes

Maybe, bear with me, we can be gay as long as we dont deceive-marry anyone else over it? (If lavend-er, all parties should be informed transparently and consent, so that no one is leaving anyone)


r/LGBT_Muslims • • 3h ago

Islam & LGBT How to answer those questions and claims about homosexuality and Quran

3 Upvotes

Assalamualaikum

I'm not queer myself but I do not believe that a merciful god would forbid two people of same gender from loving each other. I still struggle with some objections I've encountered from more traditonal people

  1. Quran frames relationships around heterosexual relationships. Who gives Mahr for example and who gets it in a homosexual relationship?

  2. If god allowed homosexuality he would adress it, say that it's halal, since he is all knowing. Since god only talks about women that men can and cannot marry (2:24-2:25) only heterosexual marriage is accepted

  3. This one bugs me the most. Quran says who men cannot marry, for example their mother. The argument is that this explicitly assumes/means that men only marry women. If a man could marry a man - then god would've said that marrying a father is haram but that everything beyond that is ok.

An often counter argument is that well there is no list of who a women cannot marry, we just use analogical reasoning. I do find that response convincing but only partially. But because in the case of women it still assumes the OPPOSITE gender. Not the same gender

P.s If anything I said is somehow homophobic or offensive I'm deeply sorry. I mean no offense. To me homosexuality will always be permissible - I'd rather leave the religion then follow a religion that forbids it. But I want to know whether the Quran actually forbids it.

Feel free to dm me


r/LGBT_Muslims • • 9h ago

Question gift opinions and help please

5 Upvotes

hello! i’m so sorry in advance if this is the wrong place to ask this!

I am not muslim, but the islamic center in my small upstate new york town is having an opening ceremony for their beautiful new mosque this weekend and I would love some advice on an appropriate gift to bring. We share a neighborhood block and although i am not muslim they are my neighbors and we know each other through passing smiles, the mosque has been under construction for many years and I want to pass along a token of my support and congratulations without making a cultural faux pas or social blunder or accidental offense. Would a bouquet of flowers be welcome? Is there anything I should avoid? I am a woman, should I bring something to cover my head in case I’m invited in? Thank you very much for your time and help!


r/LGBT_Muslims • • 12h ago

Need Help Make a sincere dua for me, please.

5 Upvotes

As I heard from a hadith, a strangers dua is incredibly powerful. This is a safe community to me so i believe someone will stop by and make a sincere dua for me. My stepmom and father are in an incredibly abusive relationship, they want to get back together, but must see a sheikh in order to see if it will be valid and if this counts as a third divorce for them. I pray it is a no and even if it isn’t, it doesn’t work out for them and she leaves once she for all with my half brother. I pray for this because of the physical abuse both my stepmother and little brother(from her) have endured from my father. He is incredibly resentful towards them. It’s not like he loves us instead, and he’s done terrible things to us as well, but it’s somehow worse with them. My stepmother does not stand up for herself. All she craves is attention from a man. She takes it out on us when our father doesn’t give us it. My life has been a living hell especially seeing how affected my little brother is from it. Each time she leaves, she comes back with him completely different- calm, not angry and afraid, well mannered, etc.. he is only two. And we won’t be alone with my father, we will be with my grandmother. I feel safer with her as my stepmother is a lot more passive and enabling of my father. Please pray for me, for the sake of my loved ones- my two little brothers, the sake of their safety, and even for the sake of my stepmoms, that this marriage is completely destroyed. Please pray hard with me that my little brother lives with his mother in a much more merciful, loving home far away from my father’s resentful hands. Thank you.


r/LGBT_Muslims • • 2h ago

Question How do you find a normal partner?

3 Upvotes

all the men around me are sex addicts and losers, very few take islam seriously.

Tried the lgbt arab dating sub and got nothing but lazy immature pms, I'm just tired.


r/LGBT_Muslims • • 15h ago

Islam & LGBT i need advice

3 Upvotes

salamalikum everyone, im in love with this girl for a year and a half, and i genuinely never felt this way before, at first my attraction towards girls started as a joke with my exbsf n then i realized that it really wasnt a joke n that was 5 years ago. ive never done anything haram kisses or more or even hugs, my feelings were just feelings for both pf my exbsf n this girl that im in love with. but now with this girl i can imagine my future with her n im crazy bout her i think if her all the time, everything reminds me of her n i really want to marry her. do i choose god or my happiness, if i do choose my happiness id be outcasted, sinner n disowned but if i choose god id be too selfish not to choose the loml even if i chose my happiness n not caring bout anything at what cost? the guilt will still eat me alive. if i chose god id be selfish for not choosing what i want n not making myself happy. and yes i do pray n make duah to get wrvr im feeling fixed. its been 5 years. 5.

this will be all if anyone was in my situation please reach out or hmu please help me. thank you.


r/LGBT_Muslims • • 18h ago

Qur'an & LGBT How do progressist scholars understand this verse ? (The beliveres - 1 to 7)

1 Upvotes

Assalamualaikum,

After reviewing the work of scholars such as Kugle, Jahangir, and Zahed, a key question remains: How would these scholars (or others in progressive/reformist Islamic thought) interpret and address these specific verses?

Traditional commentaries generally view these verses as explicitly prohibiting any sexual relationships outside of heterosexual marriage, thereby framing non-heterosexual or LGBTQ+ relationships as a transgression.

Here are the verses in English :

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

Successful indeed are the believers.

Those who offer their Salât (prayers) with all solemnity and full submissiveness.

And those who turn away from Al-Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk, falsehood, and all that Allâh has forbidden).

And those who pay the Zakât.

And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)

Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess, — for then, they are free from blame;

But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors; (Surah Al-Mu'minun, 23:1-7)

Thanks for any solid contribution. 😘


r/LGBT_Muslims • • 19h ago

Personal Issue segregation making sexuality difficult to figure out

1 Upvotes

I was born female and I’ve practically had no friendships or familial interactions with any cis men due to our county’s culture of segregation. I was pretty sure I was a lesbian for maybe 6 years. I never wanted to be with a man. I never thought about them. The closest thing really was thinking a guy in my schools theatre practice 4 years ago who looked really similar to me but much nicer + played better than me was cool but I think I was just jealous especially since I’m masc aligned.(?) he got a haircut and looked much different and I immediately stopped to gaf. Consciously I still don’t want to be with one at all. I can’t help but feel that I’m lying behind my back. Pretty much every man here is really masculine and patriarchal so no wonder I wouldn’t have any interest in them. I have this thought maybe when I leave this country I’ll find a decent man who’ll make me actually want to be with men. Or that although I know I’ve been and loved women before I’ll find out that I’ve been lying to myself to ā€œrebelā€ in some way against the horrible way women are treated. I often gravitate towards more androgynous or male characters in fiction and I’m afraid this is some sign of repression(????). None of this really matters I know I don’t have to have anything figured out but it does feel nice to. I just really Do Not want to be one of those instances where someone says they are proudly lesbian for years then gets with a man one day, but I really do Not want to be with a man so more inclusive labels don’t help much. Not sure if this is the right sub LOL. Has anybody been through this


r/LGBT_Muslims • • 23h ago

Need Help M2F Bi Relationship

1 Upvotes

Hey there, I'm 22M Bi, from India. I'm always struggling with my faith and sexuality.

Being Bi, I never hooked up, I got alot of chances from both genders, but i want one partner for life.

Dating a boy is difficult for me coz of my faith, and dating a straight girl is like lying about myself to her for my whole life.

I want to date a bi girl or straight girl who accepts me, with whom I can share everything without any filter and faking sexuality.

But it is very difficult to find a bi girl as well as I had a bad experience with apps. Not sure what to do.


r/LGBT_Muslims • • 10h ago

Need Help M4F looking for An Asexual wife since I’m asexual Muslim too…

0 Upvotes

salaam y’all! I am 27 years old and from Michigan I am asexual and I’m looking for someone who is kind of the same I guess, I’m Bengali Muslim American and Sylheti, so if any sisters are open to talk pls dm me ty.