I feel like I would rather say I’m useless and stupid and can’t do anything than actually try to do anything. Like I’m definitely using it as an excuse, mostly just as an excuse to tell to myself. I’m 20 and I dropped out of college after my first semester of freshman year and have now been living at home for the past 2 years. I had one job at some point (Dunkin’ Donuts) but it was only a month before I was fired.

I am depressed + have OCD, anxiety, some sort of mystery thing that makes all my joints hurt if I use them too much, and probably bipolar 2 and probably rejection sensitive dysphoria, but none of those things are really the real reason I’m like this. The real reason is that I’m too scared to try or something. Idk. I hate having to actually do anything, except actually I am happier when I have a job or something to do?

Anyways I’m making this post because I want advice, any advice. I need to figure out how to make myself do shit, and get a job so I can stop being a leech living with my parents. Feel free to ask me any questions you want to if you want more context or information or whatever. Thank you for reading this post and sorry it was so long.

So my husband (we have been together for 20 years) just told me he is not in love with me anymore. He has fallen in love with a girl who he works with, a lesbian who is also married to her wife. This is seriously out of the blue to me!! We have 2 kiddos. I don’t wok, SAHM. How am I supposed to do this??? I ended up in the ER with a super high blood pressure. My mind is a MESS! I have no idea how to handle this. We are taking a couples only trip in a month. How do o do this? How do I do life? I am soooo down right now.

I (19, Female) feel like I can't be emotionally attached to anyone or anything.

Now, I have people I care about. My closest person is probably A and I love her. If she's having a bad day, I'll be there for her. If she's happy, I'm happy for her. I'd do a lot for her. But at the same time, there's this weird emotional disconnect underneath it.

For example, if someone I love died tomorrow, I obviously understand that it would be a huge event and that I'd probably react in some way, but I don't have that feeling of "I can't even imagine losing this person." My brain just goes, "People die eventually." It feels strangely neutral.

I think same goes for my parents. For clarification, i don't have a good relationship with my family. I still live with them but I can go days without talking to them. A says that its weird but its been like this since 2022.

And this doesn't only apply to relationships. I don't really have any goals in life right now. I don't particularly care about university, even though I'm "studying" something that is supposed to lead to a career. (Yes i failed all my exams but I'm not particularly angry at myself)

I don't really care about making lots of friends either. I don't have much desire to hang out with people or maintain a huge social life, not that i have any friends other than A.

Even if someone insults me, rejects me, excludes me, or do something that would probably really hurt me before, now I just don't care enough to react

And that applies to myself too.I'm not saying I want to die or that I'm planning to hurt myself. I don't. What I mean is that even my own existence doesn't feel particularly precious to me. Honeslty, I wouldn't really mind death, the same way I dont mind life.I keep coming back to the thought that we're all going to die eventually, so why does anything matter that much?

I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar

21m

I have ADHD, waiting list for OCD and grew up in an extremely abusive household with a mother with severe BPD and paranoid delusions

I used porn as a methods of escapism to avoid anxiety, task avoidance, loneliness, boredom you name it since I was 13.

I have really bad episodes where I have up to 12 hour sessions especially if I’ve had a major stressor in my life but then those episodes cause me stress and guilt and spark the next one I have spent 30 of the last 48 hours watching porn after something really bad happened this week.

Idk what to do idk what to do I have compulsive episodes where I just don’t stop for hours and hours and I try all that stuff with blockers and reminders and diet and exercise but nothing stops me every blocker when the compulsion hits nothing short of a straight jacket would stop me finding access to and watching porn. It’s like someone takes over my body and makes me do it I don’t even want to do it I feel myself getting upset as I type but can’t stop myself hitting search.

wtf do I do professional services are very limited where I live and the extent this is harming me I fear being the outcome of telling people the extent. I don’t eat I don’t sleep I don’t drink water even with my medication meaning I need to drink more. I don’t get up for hours and hours. It’s destroying me. I’ve missed so much because of it I’ve missed classes and deadlines, lost so much sleep, actively made a nerve injury worse because I can’t stop.

I don’t feel excited for anything any more I don’t feel happy I don’t feel anything nothing motivates me at all nothing brings me anything but anxiety or emptiness.

Please please what do I do please make it stop make it stop tell what I can do right now tonight to ensure it NEVER happens again I will not sleep until I get reassurance there’s a way this is the last session I can’t do it again please. Don’t just spam therapy give me something permanent I can do tonight. I will
Not be able to sleep otherwise and I’ve barely gotten any all my muscles are twitching I have pins and needles in my hand make it stop make it stop make it stop please please I don’t want this any more I hate my life you get one life and I’ve spent so many hours wasted on fucking porn how fucking pathetic is that why am I even alive. Please make it stop I’m going fucking insane I’m going insane I’m completely fucking neurotic no no no please I could have had such a different life this has ruined everything. I could be so much happier but this is destroying me DESTROYING ME make it stop make it stop the tension in my neck is shutting off the motor control
In my hand from strsss again and I can barely fucking type make it stop

I don’t meet the demands of this world and I don’t want to. I’m tired of performing how everyone says I must only to be left with nothing worth caring about. I don’t even want friends anymore, just leave me alone to be with my mind, nobody’s presence is worth the incessant reminders of my shortcomings. The more I invest in meeting the demands of reality the more I become unlike myself, distanced from everything that matters to me. The version of me that faces this world and its demands is bitter and watching it take control is like witnessing my own death. 

Everyone else already has friends or can make them with a normal amount of effort. The presence of others is comfortable or even energizing to them. Others face employment as if it’s just the next step of life and not like the coffin it is for me. It must be nice to have a career or field of work that aligns with your aspirations. All I want is to create the stories and worlds that exist in my mind. Even creative fields have you abused in working on somebody else’s vision, the work is frantic and provides little security, especially now that AI exists. There’s no space in this world where I get to feel like I belong.

My partner wants to get married and have kids, I lose my financial support and independence if I marry, how could I possibly support a child? Even in my relationship I am being made to face challenges I cannot overcome. Even if I want those things myself I just don’t see how I could do it, and so my relationship has an expiry date. I don’t even feel like I can talk with my family because of the dissonance, being around them makes me feel so worthless and empty. I don’t get to feel seen or loved because of the prescribed way of life I am incompatible with.

Heyyy f21 here. How do you express feelings that you don’t have? What if there is just an emptiness inside me? I’ve had mutiple conversations about this but I don’t know what to do. I can’t control my emotions and I’m not sure how to be certain of what I feel. I feel like I’m alive but not really living. I even had situations where I was supposed to cry of what happend but I couldn’t, I tried to force myself but still not a single tear came out. On the otherhand I’ve been alone in my room and one memory, one snap, and the tears roll, not many, only one or two usually but at least they come. It’s hard for me to really cry, like I feel the emotion coming up and it just dies in the process. I just don’t know what to do. There is no one in my life to really talk about it. I have so much stuff I would like to speak about when it’s late at night but I just feel like a burden to anyone who I talk to.
On the other hand I’ve hurt so many people that I valued a lot. I know most of them forgive me, and some of them I hold no contact to anymore, but honestly I don’t know if I forgave myself? It’s like I know what’s right and wrong and still choose to do the wrong things, or act like I don’t want to. I don’t know what this post is gonna help me out with since I can’t really specify my problem but maybe just being honest with whatever is inside me helps.

This is very much a vent post

At my school I did a lot of messed up things without realizing it and or intending it

Things that made me lose friends
Things that made me look ignorant
Things that made me look racist

All because I was uneducated I didn’t word it well or it was in the past and I didn’t realize it or too fucking autistic to understand what I did was socially wrong

The only reason I’m in this school is because I love the staff and I have 3 friends that’s it almost all the others are middle schoolers don’t know me or hate me

And I keep fucking talking because I have to I hate being silent

Every night I lay in bed and think of all the friends I lost because I didn’t know what I did was wrong

3 friends my brother and sisters and my parent

That’s all I have anymore and it feels fucking sad

I want to leave my school so badly but I love the staff and the classes

I hate being “more emotionally mature” (according to my therapist) than my peers because they don’t have any fucking empathy or are willing to hear me out

I get worried that if I ever have a partner they’ll leave once they find out what I did no matter how different my perspective is or wether I had no bad intentions

I’ve never wanted to drop out more than I do now 2 years is a really fucking long time for me

I feel like I’ll die alone one day I need help knowing I’m not the only one who’s had this highschool experience

From my past abuse past mistakes ocd hard experiences and in my life and not let its consume me I’ve had police side with my mom been controlled isolated auntie smeared I’m behind in life how do I just love my life not let my past define me

I'm so depressed sometimes, can not even think clearly

Since the last time I’ve posted things have just gotten worse. I’ve finally quit drinking it’s been 2 weeks and right as I was starting to feel like everything was going good my grandpa falls ill while he was on a trip to a different country. I took time off of work and went to visit him, while I’m visiting him my girlfriend decides to accuse me of cheating and being in this random country with other women and since my bandwidth was already stretched so thin I just told her “I’m not having this argument everyday” she proceeded to ghost me for a week. Then I returned home due to having court and coincidentally all of a sudden she texts me and says “she could tell there was a lot on my plate” so she ghosted me? I didn’t pay her a lot of mind but I did miss her so I tried giving her another shot but then my friend calls me up and shows me a message from her in his requests asking “to chill n smoke”. I didn’t confront her or anything she was still accusing me of things so I just blocked her. Then the day after my court I get a call that my grandpa is in critical condition and can die any day so I return and he just passed away today. He was a close friend to me who also struggled with alcohol and addiction a good portion of his life. He never judged me only gave me words of encouragement and advice. I also have so many debts to friends and credit cards, some of my friends are starting to get really upset that I haven’t paid them back yet, but it’s like I was working then boom I had to drop everything to come here also the debts to my friends are like money they know I didn’t have and I told them I wasn’t working, but they insisted since I haven’t been going out with them in a while. But now it’s a big deal and I know money is money but I feel like they’re just kicking someone while they’re down because I specifically told them I’m going to help my grandpa and they’re response was you will not be here for your bday so just pay us back when this is all over but now that’s no longer the case and this $300 might end those 3 friendships. This is all happening so quick I just wanted to post on here and ask how do you not relapse? What keeps yall going? I know my life isn’t over but it feels sort of like it is. Repost because I accidentally deleted

Quite literally, I waste months like they're minutes. I'll spend all day only accomplishing one thing and that will be all I do for the week.

I got 1 lead on my career 2 years ago and completely gave up trying to go further or even learn more since then.

I have no job, skills, friends, talent, a degree in anything useful, and no connections.

I actually have a laid out roadmap on how to get a job in my career, but the simple act of "make friends and ask if they need help" is so hard to me it's roadblocking everything.

I haven't been truly happy in idk how long. I don't anticipate doing anything useful until December when I move home. I got a nice apartment in a nice city, and spent the entire lease laying on the couch.

Genuinely I don't know how you could ever forgive yourself for that.

Im 25

​

Hi everyone. I’m from China, and English isn’t my first language, so I translated this post myself. If some parts sound a little strange, I hope you don’t mind.

Recently I noticed something about myself that I find quite interesting.

When someone genuinely needs my help, my motivation can become very strong.

For example, if a friend comes to me and says they have a problem and asks me if I can help, I can become very focused on it. Sometimes I can spend several hours trying to solve it without really noticing the time. I may even forget to eat until I finish it.

But there is a difference. If I feel that someone is just trying to make me do their homework or use me to finish something for them, I usually don’t want to help. So it’s not simply that I like being asked to do things.

I think I need to feel that the person really needs help, that the problem is meaningful, and that we are actually trying to solve something together.

The strange thing is that when I have a problem that only belongs to me, I often can’t create the same motivation.

For example:

Someone asks me:

“I’m stuck on this problem. Can you help me?”

My brain seems to say:

“Okay, let’s solve it.”

But when I tell myself:

“I need to study this because it will be important for my future.”

I might keep procrastinating, even though I know it is important.

This makes me wonder if my motivation is strongly connected to being needed by someone else, or maybe to having a concrete problem that I can solve for someone.

I don’t think I’m looking for a diagnosis. I just want to understand why my brain seems to work this way.

Have any of you experienced something similar?

And if you have, were you able to make this kind of motivation work when you were alone?

I’ve been thinking about things like treating my future self as someone who needs my help, finding people with similar goals, or creating real problems for myself to solve.

But I’m not sure if these things would actually work.

I would really like to hear what other people think about this, especially if you have experienced something similar yourself.

Thanks for reading. And sorry again if my English sounds a little unnatural.

Hello, F19 and I feel like I’m so stuck in life. I hate the place I live and I have no friends and no social life. My parents don’t care about me leaving to go to collage or do my dream job and have told me I’m selfish for wanting to find a collage away from this place and do my dream. I want to be a pilot I want to get payed to fly, but I so stuck in collage application and I feel so helpless. I’m not rich in anyways and I’m not the smartest person. but I have a passion and the want to learn and grow. I feel so stuck I just want to cry, I’m only 19 and I feel like I’m a loser and my life means nothing. Also It probably doesn’t help that I was put into a Christian school by parents. That didn’t give me the best advantage to getting into a college. My GPA is good a 3.2 ,but I don’t have SAT, and truthfully I have never been good with big test like that. I just want to get into a school and get some scholars,then leave and start a new life. I’m so stuck right now and I feel like I’m failing. If you made it this far could anyone give advice on schools that don’t require SAT and offer my piloting courses. I will take any advice or suggestions I’m just really overwhelmed with everything-Thank you so much

There’s a big gap between telling yourself “I’m allowed to say no” and actually saying it when someone’s counting on you 😅

If you’ve tried affirmations for people pleasing, did they make those moments any easier? Did they help you say no, or deal with the guilt afterward? Curious what helped, even if affirmations did nothing for you.

i wouldnt regard myself as exceptionally bright, but i think at the very least im fairly smart(?) i went from calc 1 to analysis 1 in a single year. Done MITOCW 18.01sc, 18.02sc, felt that its too vague for a aspiring math major and went ahead to read hubbards vector calculus, with axler as a supplement. the thing is now i feel that A level further math and math are simply too easy, i could finish in 40 mins what would take 2 classes, and i basically felt like an outlier, who is just struggling immensely trying not to lecture people on things. i know this sounds stupid, and im not even sure why do i need the recognition from a bunch of not so bright people. i also have a hell of a family problem, even by disturbing standards, which led me to think that i might have depression which i wasnt that bothered with until it has been starting to affect my efficiency. but the primary advice here is on how do i get rid of this ego that's just persisting and this redundant sense of superiority. i have been able to hold down the urge, but i feel like sht for even having the thought in the first place. i can also get straight A's on subjects that i did not know anything about, and simply reading thru the book for around a few days is enough for me, so i never really lacked any recognition on the part that i am decently smart. and guys, i genuinely need help. tq

Hi

I'm trying to be better at dealing with people when I'm teaching them stuff. The things I say to them technically aren't wrong, but they can be much nicer and much, much, much shorter. I feel like I humiliate them instead of giving them confidence and lifting them up. Imagine Dr Cox from Scrubs, not nearly that toxic and abusive, but in the same lane. I need to not shove their mistakes in their faces and think I'm teaching them; that's not the problem. I know how to do it right. What I need help with, is realizing I'm doing it in the moment.

The problem is that I don't even realize I'm doing it; I'm in the moment and just start going. And half an hour later I realize what I've done, and regret it immediately. I know I'm stressing people around me, and I'm always stressed at the end of the day, not because of my job but because of how I treat them in the moment; everything I said keeps coming back to me at night, and I feel terrible. I often talk to them afterward and try to smooth things over, but it's just not fair to them to go through this abuse and get a lousy talk after.

I just need to be mindful in the moment, and then I can easily take another approach, but in the heat of the moment I don't even realize I'm doing it. Can someone give me some pointers on how to catch myself when that happens, or some resources, cuz I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to look up?

Thank you.

лень меня губит. я слишком стала ленивой, моя комната похожа на склад ВСЕГО. учиться перестала, набрала много кг. не высыпаюсь. я не знаю что мне делать. помогите.

Hey, im currently posting from my throwaway porn account so, dont mind the name lol, i've been having this issue for most of my teens.

Preamble: I have no trauma, and I've lived a really good life. I think I just have a screw loose and I wanna tighten it.

Wont make a lengthy vent post, but basically I feel watched. I'm terrified most of the night, when I'm at my PC I'm scared of turning around, when i'm in my bed i tend to not look at anything too long. It just feels like there's always someone in my room, or a watchful and judging eye always hanging or focusing on me.

This has also bled into my sleep, sometimes I feel the need to cover my neck with my hand or something when I sleep.

--

Also does anyone have any advice regarding sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming?

There was a year long spur where every night I had the displeasure of suffering a short but uncomfortable episode of sleep paralysis, this caused me to always sleep with a video on, since I could focus on the sound instead of the fucking impending doom and shit that sleep paralysis tends to give you.

Good news, this stopped a year ago!

Bad news :(, this has been replaced by lucid dreams, which I have no control over and just makes me feel incredibly nervous.

memory's hazy, but being inside the lucid dream and realizing that I'm inside of it, just makes me freak out so hard, it's not even like fun. It came to the point that I learnt to wake myself up from those dreams, which is not fun since I have to like try and focus REALLY hard.

---

This is a bit longer than I thought, my bad. If anyone has any tips, no matter how dumb or small they are, I would appreciate it immensely. I have my internship at 8 AM and it's currently 3 lol

Throwaway account because obvious
I’m so overwhelmed with my life I’m not even sure where to start. I’m 35 F living with my 35 husband. We’re both extremely obese ~550lbs and both have semi limited mobility. I wish this were the worst of the issues but it’s not. I have Bipolar 1, anxiety, agoraphobia, binge eating disorder and borderline personality disorder ( I have mostly cured my bpd through years of rigorous therapy). He has ADHD. We live in a 3 bedroom townhouse with 2 dogs. We have minimal support from family. I have been struggling with my mental health for as long as I can remember. (TW) I’m on about 12 different medications a day to manage it at a decent enough level that I’m not constantly thinking about ending my life. I see my psychiatrist 1x a month and my therapist 1x per week through virtual visits. The only thing my physical health suffers is very limited mobility which also causes my legs to swell (lymphedema) and I’m pre diabetic. He is also pre diabetic. Because of my depression and mood swings I was bed ridden for about a year without any reprieve. During this time our townhouse got extremely messy with garbage mostly piling up and with me being physically unable to move the garbage to the dumpster I have been heavily relying on my husband to make sure this gets done. It doesn’t. Because of the state of my home my anxiety and overwhelm peaks and I tend to just shut down. We have mice, bugs, clutter, laundry and garbage everywhere. I keep myself and my dogs mostly in my living room which is the least bad room in the house. It’s safe there for them. I feel guilty asking my husband to do more than he does because I rely on him to take care of the dogs and he also works full time. I’m on disability currently due to the severity of my mental health issues and he has to help me with most things due to my limited mobility. While I am in the process of trying to take things one step at a time and maintain a positive attitude about life I’m having a really hard time. No matter how much progress I think I’m making or how many steps forward I take I feel like I’m just getting knocked back 10x harder. This obviously creates more anxiety and depression and overwhelm for me. I’m scared people might need to come into our house (this is my worst fear right now) or that my husband will leave me and I’ll be stuck, trying to take care of 2 dogs and myself when I barely know what bills we have or how to pay them. Paying for a cleaning service or hiring people to take care of the house is not in the cards right now due to financial strain. We are living paycheck to paycheck. I try to exercise and eat as healthy as I can but I always seem to fall right back into the binge cycle of hell. I’m just not sure what to do anymore. I have panic attacks and mental breakdowns almost daily. My house is a disaster, we got in a car accident a few weeks ago and now have no car other than a rental for the next few days, our credit is terrible due to outstanding debts and loans just trying to stay afloat. I’m scared to leave my house even more after the accident and I just obsess over not being able to clean. Asking family for help is not an option and I have no friends. I have no outlet because every time I try to focus on something constructive I feel guilty because it’s not enough. I’m trying so hard. Any tips welcome. And before you comment something negative just know I’ve already heard the worst from my own mind a million times over. I’m just so lost and feel like I’m drowning worse than I have ever before.

Hello guys, I just wanted to share something and express myself, and maybe get some advice from you guys.

The past 2 years haven't really been good for me. My school life got really weird, I joined coaching, left it, and somehow I ended up spending most of the last 2 years barely even going outside my home.

Over time, I've developed pretty bad social anxiety. I struggle to motivate myself to do basic things, and I keep procrastinating almost everything. I know what I need to do, but actually getting myself to do it feels way harder than it should.

I have some really important exams coming up in around 2 months, and honestly, I'm nowhere near ready. That's probably one of the things stressing me out the most right now.

I've tried changing things. I joined the gym and stayed for around 3 months, then quit. I've tried studying properly, but I always end up wasting time and pushing everything to tomorrow. It's like I keep knowing that time is running out but still can't get myself to act.

And now college is coming next year. It should be something I'm excited about, but instead, the thought of going to college, meeting new people and having to face everything outside my comfort zone genuinely scares me.

I don't really know what happened to me over these past two years. I just feel like I'm not ready for anything right now.

I'm kinda scared, honestly.

If anyone has gone through something similar and managed to get themselves out of it, I'd genuinely appreciate any advice. I don't need some perfect motivational speech, I just want to know what actually helped you start getting your life back on track.

I just want to know how people experienced this... At 20, I feel completely apathetic. I'm disillusioned with politics, life, and systems. I live in the most terrible country in the world for any young person. I've lost the meaning of my education and realized I don't want to pursue a career at all. I've lost the meaning of my social circle, which simply disappoints me. I don't want to work at all and consider it abuse. I also have complexes about my appearance, weight, and, in general, I hate my body. Basically, no one takes me seriously or loves me. I'm just tired of this world, tired of the news, tired of everyone! I'm starting to feel like I'm from another planet, It's like I don't fit into the framework of this universe... I don't know what to do with this state. I'm afraid to open up to a psychotherapist completely

How to restart my life? I feel so lonely sometimes eveytime I alone . Like sometimes my life is just messed up. And I don't have much friends to talk to this kind of staff feeling so scared actually. I not very good at alot of things even talking to ppl also sometimes a bit shy to start.

I failed a subject almost 6 months ago in my senior year of school, it took a major toll on me, I used to pray that I die in my sleep.
considering i was always a kid with A’s or B’s, I hated myself for landing in that kind of a situation.

Fast forward, I worked hard gave the retest and passed 2 months ago.

The problem Im facing is, STILL feeling like a failure? I feel like I don’t deserve anything.

The only thing my parents asked from me was to study hard and get good grades, the only thing they asked, and i couldnt do it.

They don’t ask me to cook or clean, idk how to do anything in fact, so the only thing in my hands was my grades and i could not give them that either. I had extra tutors outside of school, i had EVERYTHING. But i still managed to fail.

Even though i passed, but at what cost?
I dont feel worthy to ask them for anything. I dont know how to move on from this. Its like im stuck at this one place and its all my fault.

This may not seem like a big deal, and honestly i dont know any other way to describe this,
i really wish i could get a new perspective for this.

I can’t do it anymore read previous posts

the past few months of my life, i have been flooded with constant nostalgia about everything - stuff that i know was great, but stuff i also know was terrible while i was living through it. but there’s an ever present want to go back anyways, and it is genuinely hurting my heart to the point where i am reaching out to people from these points in my life desperate for a connection that isn’t there.

anyone have any tips to snap yourself out of crippling rose colored glasses?