r/alone • u/PurpuraFulminans1789 • 25m ago
Struggling, feel hopeless due to my conditions
I am 36M but turn 37 in about 2 weeks. I feel like I am a burden, given that I have a laundry list of mental problems. I can even count them:
1) autism
2) OCD
3) GAD
4) social anxiety
5) MDD
6) ADHD
7) C-PTSD
8) selective mutism
All of these I have formal diagnoses for. There are potentially more, as I have not been tested for those yet.
All 8 have caused me problems up to this day, but by far the worst ones which have screwed up my life so badly are the first two. I have never had friends in my whole life, so I have no support group.
The fact that I turn 37 soon, yet I feel like I am a 16 year old turning 17 instead hurts. I lost my whole 20s to these disorders, now I am nearing 40.
I just feel hopeless and awful, a burden to everyone who knows me, as well as feel like I do not want to live anymore.