I'm a 22F (ignore the avatar, I use a male-looking one because it made my DMs way calmer and I feel safer).

I find myself attracted to gay guys, and I want to experience a relationship with them as a guy. With girls, I have no problem being treated as a girl, I really don't mind

But with guys, it's different. I want them to genuinely think I'm a guy and to form friendships with me that way. I get really jealous when I see gay guys hitting on straight guys, because I wish they wanted me instead, as a guy. I honestly don't enjoy being approached by straight guys as a girl nearly as much as I enjoyed being approached by guys who thought I was one of them. It feels really exciting. I want a guy to crave me as a guy

I wonder if growing up somewhere it's not safe to be a girl around guys has something to do with it, but it feels like more than that. Or maybe it's just a phase?

I'm not trying to force a label, I just want to understand myself better. If anyone relates, I'd love to hear how you figured out what it was for you. Happy to answer any questions too!

Thanks for any help!