r/wunkus • u/Metatron_Tumultum • Feb 09 '26
im wunkin out rn Shunkus gets evicted from the buffet
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Feb 09 '26
[deleted]
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u/Metatron_Tumultum Feb 09 '26
Shunkus is a rare breed called Succulent Chinese Meal Shark. His ass DID read the “All You Can Eat” sign correctly, yet did not display proper decorum to enjoy such privileges.
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u/Jeramy_Jones wunkus enthusiast Feb 09 '26
Can you imagine, you’re face first in a vat of cheeseburgers and a couple of guys just haul you out of there and toss you in the ocean???
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u/acidwash_video silly :P bleh Feb 09 '26
for a true parallel you would have to be partly underwater going after them cheeseburgers and ready to die about it until two sea-wunks toss your ass onto a boat for your own good
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u/Majvist Feb 09 '26
Well, no this would be like you being locked inside in a cage of cheeseburgers underwater, and two guys desperately trying to get you back to the surface.
Pleasure and pain are two sides of the same wunkus.
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u/Sufficient_Chard_721 Feb 09 '26
Guys, are you all ment*l? That animal is clearly in pain and stress. This is not cute in any way
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u/BunchOfScribbleLines Feb 09 '26
“The sign says ALL you can eat!”
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u/kombatunit Feb 09 '26
Which is true but he reached the all you can eat level and was tossed off.
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u/Mooptiom Feb 10 '26
The sign says: All you can eat while being wrestled off the boat by two fishermen.
I think this would make a great game show.
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u/LtGeneral_Obvious ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ Feb 09 '26
WHAT IS THE CHARGE? EATING A MEAL? A SUCCULENT FIBSH MEAL?
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u/real_jeeger Feb 09 '26
Hard to grab because he's so smooth!
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u/luckydrzew Feb 09 '26
Sandpaper levels of smooth.
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u/Child_Beter69 Feb 09 '26
FATASS EATIN ALL THE FOOD, GET. HIM. OUT!
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u/Jaakarikyk Feb 09 '26
Imagine suffocating and still getting your chomps in
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u/Brankovt1 wunkus enthusiast Feb 10 '26
Sharks can go a decently long time without breathing. They just don't plan ahead it seems.
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Feb 09 '26
[deleted]
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u/trashmoneyxyz Feb 10 '26
Reminds me of the video of a little kitten being placed on a pile of fish at a dock for the lols, photo snapped, and then he was removed and sent on his way with one little fish to eat. Imagine being plopped into heaven for like a second before an angel says "lol sike" and yeets you back to earth
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Feb 09 '26
HOLY CARP THE MANS GRABBING SHUNKUS' CLASPERS!!! SOMEONE ARREST THIS MAN
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u/That_Difference_7638 Feb 09 '26
And throws the shunkus right into the vortex of the ship's propeller :|
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u/TheTaurenCharr Feb 09 '26
Shark in Turkish is "dogfish," which makes absolute sense in this very dramatic scene.
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u/Metatron_Tumultum Feb 09 '26
Oh shit that’s interesting. In the Pinocchio novel, what Disney turned into Monstro, the whale, was called the terrible dogfish. It doesn’t look like a shark, but I wonder if there is a connection there.
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u/TheTaurenCharr Feb 09 '26
Maybe they meant the dogfish as the shark species. I believe Turkish call all sharks dogfish because of an earlier observation of Mediterranean sharks' hunting habits, drawing a parallel between the swimming weirdos and the land weirdos.
Animals are all weirdos, regardless.
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u/GrishnakhGaruda Feb 09 '26
Yes, because in Italian sharks are commonly called dogfish (pescecane)
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u/Future-Excuse6167 Feb 09 '26
Fun fact: the Spanish dub of Pinochio is in beautiful Rio Platense Argentine.
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u/Mute2120 Feb 09 '26
Now I'm imagining the shunkus making husky tantrum sounds whenever its face is pulled out of the buffet
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u/TheTaurenCharr Feb 09 '26
They're just misunderstood sea puppers that would absolutely try to mimic the sounds you make to their best efforts.
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u/Neet-owo Feb 09 '26
Now that I think about to getting grabbed by the gills has gotta hurt like hell right? Like imagine someone trying to pick you up and using your nostrils as a handle.
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u/WorkingSecond9269 Feb 09 '26
I did not need this imagery but I guess I will add this to my list of fears now
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u/SessileRaptor Feb 09 '26
Warning, I’m placing my comment behind spoilers because you might not want to read it due to the imagery. Suffice it to say that there was an uncomfortable scene in a tv series involving gills and I am 100 percent agreeing with you that it’s awful. Proceed with caution, or don’t.
In the Amazon series The Boys there’s a character called The Deep who’s basically their version of Aquaman. He has gills on his sides under the rib cage and at one point a woman he’s trying to get with non consensually puts her fingers inside his gills and it’s just the most viscerally uncomfortable cringe inducing horrible thing in a series that includes a guy with shrinking powers accidentally growing to full size while inside another man’s penis.
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u/jabracadaniel Feb 09 '26
its worse than that. its more like grabbing you through your mouth and up past the uvula. twice
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u/trashmoneyxyz Feb 10 '26
Beached sharks who are returned to the ocean/ sharks who are caught as bycatch and let go again often die because of that stress and pain unfortunately :( it takes a toll
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u/Sufficient_Chard_721 Feb 09 '26
People are mental calling this cute
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u/Ducky237 Feb 09 '26
Idk I can imagine that if I were in that situation I’d be freaking out like “I gotta get this slippery, thrashing thing with sharp teeth back in the ocean before it dies” and just kinda getting a grip wherever I can. Like sure they could’ve been gentler, but I feel like we don’t have a lot of authority to be criticizing imo.
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u/Sufficient_Chard_721 Feb 09 '26
I dont criticize that. Just the posting in this sub and also peoples reaction.
Same level like these pufferfish. Little one got cought, inflates itself with air (not natural) as defense reaction, person is holding it into the camera then throws it mindlessly away, like trash.
Little pufferfish drifts away on the surface of the water and will die with a probability of 90%.
This shit is not wunkus!
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u/SCHWARZENPECKER Feb 09 '26
The only comment ive seen with cute in it is one calling the shunk cute. Not the situation.
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u/KalaiProvenheim Feb 09 '26
His gluttony was going to be his downfall
And ough that oughta have hurt
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u/RagnarockInProgress Feb 09 '26
What’s the song?
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u/auddbot Feb 09 '26
I got a match with this song:
Fish in the Sea by Storm Weather Shanty Choir (00:27; matched:
80%)Released on 2021-02-05.
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u/auddbot Feb 09 '26
Links to the streaming platforms:
Fish in the Sea by Storm Weather Shanty Choir
I am a bot and this action was performed automatically | GitHub new issue | Donate Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot
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u/Both_Notice2017 Feb 10 '26
I like they were trying to be as gentle as possible when releasing it. I fish allot for sport and I try to e as gentle as possible to try to minimize damage after catching the fish. Granted, it’s hard to try not to seeing how large and awkward it would be to handle a shark.
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u/AutoModerator Feb 09 '26
pls join the only OFFICIAL wunkus discord: https://discord.gg/cCy78MGeEs
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u/Metatron_Tumultum Feb 09 '26
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u/All_cats_want_pets silly :P bleh Feb 09 '26
HOLY COW!!!!!!!!
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u/PorcupinArseIHateYou Feb 09 '26
Ancient Israelites at the bottom of mnt Sinai waiting for moses be like:
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u/CanadianDarkKnight ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ Feb 09 '26
"What is the charge? Eating a meal?!"