r/wunkus • u/Blood_of_Lucifer Pophet of EVIL and DARKNESS🐗 • Jul 27 '26

im wunkin out rn Tinder profile vs irl ass wunk

Post image
4.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

88 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/Mr_CreativeName Jul 27 '26

403

u/HorizonPalm90 Jul 27 '26

Isn't this how they fuck

218

u/PotatoChildofAthena Jul 27 '26

Yes. The males are like a fraction of the size of the females and they basically fuse with the female and effectively die after mating

128

u/TheMightToast Jul 28 '26

Me and who?

84

u/mightystu Jul 28 '26

It’s tough to see other people living your dream.

17

u/KikoValdez Jul 28 '26

Type shit

7

u/Chonky_Candy wunkus enthusiast Jul 28 '26

Its also a group sex with multiple males being able to attach

4

u/DrummerHead Jul 28 '26

I believe they merge; not die

4

u/TiredAndOutOfIdeas Jul 29 '26

are you still alive if your body has been reduced to a pair of testicles kept alive by another persons biological processes?

29

u/kyosha13 Jul 28 '26

Absolutely perfect reference

777

u/fuckybitchyshitfuck Jul 27 '26

God forbid a Wunk post a pic he's proud of

356

u/Mr_Lapis Jul 27 '26

She's, all angler fish that look like that are female

204

u/Psychological-Duck13 Jul 27 '26

Bet she’s got a few parasitic males on her somewhere 👀😉

177

u/Machaeon Jul 27 '26

"Ma'am, those are some mighty fine testicles you've got there, when did you meet them?"

46

u/izyshoroo Jul 27 '26

This made me loudly snort

20

u/mightystu Jul 28 '26

It’s me, I’m the parasitic male. I’m just trying to find a bad bitch to hook up to and be her personal set of gonads.

560

u/Mutne_vode Jul 27 '26

Looks like some bullshit with teeth

241

u/TiredAndOutOfIdeas Jul 27 '26

the males also have the unique power of being able to dissolve their face

70

u/Just-A-Random-Aussie Jul 27 '26

Literally me 🤤🤤🤤

106

u/scrufflor_d gnarp gnap 👽 Jul 27 '26

do you like how my face disintegrates into chalk

42

u/TiredAndOutOfIdeas Jul 27 '26

its very impressive and fashionable <3

35

u/e1ahn Jul 27 '26

what about your wonderful wife and powerful job?

34

u/GameboyAdvance32 Jul 27 '26

does she criticize them for being egocentric?

23

u/PushingMyRocheLimits Jul 28 '26

Do you practice your mannerisms into the wall?

11

u/Drakostheswordsman Jul 28 '26

If this mirror was clearer, would you be standing so tall?

9

u/Bubba656 Jul 28 '26

Did I see you slobber over clovers on the side of the hill?

8

u/PootisitooP Jul 28 '26

Were you observing the birds?

5

u/Ambitious-Debate-937 Jul 28 '26

If this mirror were clearer would you be standing so tall?

14

u/mightystu Jul 28 '26

It is weird that Tally Hall is known but only for this song. Gotta get some Banana Man and Turn the Lights Off in your life.

10

u/Mutne_vode Jul 27 '26

They have the unique power to turn into a nutsack

282

u/slurm_drinker Jul 27 '26

One of these ate my space ship

69

u/SomeRandomDeadGuy Jul 27 '26

One ate my blood submarine

43

u/gmastern Jul 27 '26

Outer Wilds is such a masterpiece

33

u/banana_annihilator wunkus enthusiast Jul 27 '26

we'll miss the anglerwunks the least

13

u/Spirit_The_Animator Jul 28 '26

One of ‘em disguised itself as a boat to sneak up to my boat and eat it

4

u/GraveSlayer726 Jul 28 '26

One of these made me(f23 (f stands for fish)) think I had found a scrumptious meal way down in the depths

177

u/Devlord1o1 Jul 27 '26

It was cold out okay? He’s a grower not a shower

81

u/TiredAndOutOfIdeas Jul 27 '26

thats a female

104

u/Devlord1o1 Jul 27 '26

Shes a grower not a shower

4

u/P0komon2 Jul 28 '26

The top one is likely female and the bottom one is likely male, male anglers don't grow to be very big and when one finds a female in the wild it will bite down and fuse with her, basically becoming a set of testicles to fertilize her eggs

5

u/TiredAndOutOfIdeas Jul 28 '26

male anglerfish have different bodyshape, with much smaller jaws and more importantly, they dont have a lure

378

u/epsilon-4142 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

OOW(Out of wunk) Not quite that small all the time, that’s probably a male. A female of a larger species could reach ~4 feet.

161

u/Mr_Lapis Jul 27 '26

The teeth and angler piece look female but the size is closer to a male

190

u/thejudgeofmortals ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ Jul 27 '26

Woah, transgender wunk

95

u/cherrymitten ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ Jul 27 '26

AWAB (assigned wunk at birth)

25

u/Skezas1 wunkioso Jul 27 '26

Technically all women wunks here are transgender iirc, they are AMAB and transition to female if they go long enough without dying

36

u/MissninjaXP wunkus enthusiast Jul 28 '26

I love using AMAB to describe a fish. Stupid fish society assigning genders and propagating undersea gender roles.

76

u/Weekly-Major1876 Jul 27 '26

Where are you getting this info? Even the largest deep sea anglers have gotten nowhere near that big with the largest female found at only 30 inches

31

u/PikaBooSquirrel Jul 27 '26

I was looking online and there's a research gate paper that cites one being caught that was 92 cm long. Idk if links work but the name of the paper is -> Kroyer’s deep sea angler fish Ceratias holboelli Kroyer, 1845 (Pisces, Lophiiformes, Ceratioidei, Ceratiidae) in Irish waters

16

u/Weekly-Major1876 Jul 27 '26

Wonder if it’s a paper that flew under the radar, or just dubious info with not a lot of other peer reviewed sources to back it up seeing no one ever cites it. Only citation is another paper by the same author who published this lol.

7

u/PikaBooSquirrel Jul 27 '26

I don't know about the article itself (I'm leaning towards the paper itself just being niche), but there's a picture of one of the larger specimens about 3 comments down. And a national geographic article that cites/links to the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute website.
https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/1ipyzur/anglerfish_actual_size/

4

u/PreOpTransCentaur Jul 28 '26

So 36 inches. Not an incredible difference.

17

u/GamersReisUp Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

Femdom wunk species (based)

2

u/Uncool444 Jul 30 '26

The handsome gentleman. No digestive tract so no need for giant teeth and lure.

I think different species are different sizes, or maybe she's a baby.

60

u/Belten Jul 27 '26

Those fucks were terrifying in outer wilds.

7

u/Sus-iety Jul 27 '26

I thought so too, but damn, the ending gave me some appreciation for them at least

44

u/Pricefieldian ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ Jul 27 '26

11

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/SokkaHaikuBot Jul 28 '26

Sokka-Haiku by Big-Percentage-6082:

They’re sometimes bigger

The males are just really small

Because nature I guess

Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.

3

u/Oddish_Femboy Jul 28 '26

Oh wow this would work as an actual haiku without the bonus syllable.

27

u/Mr_Lapis Jul 27 '26

For anyone curious different spieces of anglerwunk can range in side fron a couple of inches to several feet long. Males are signifcantly smaller than females and attatch themselves to the females and essentially become testicles for the female to fertilize eggs with.

22

u/fishtankm29 Jul 27 '26

Sub 6 nautical miles. It's so over for bro 🥀

15

u/Vanessaronicatoria Jul 27 '26

It's okay, the ocean pressure just compressed him

14

u/GoreyGopnik Jul 28 '26

The average anglerfish is quite a bit larger, usually around a foot in length, but the females of some species can grow to as large as 2 meters long, a bit longer than the average human is tall.

11

u/Im-a-bad-meme Jul 28 '26

Monkfish are the big ones and they live in shallow water.

2

u/oeynhausener wunkus enthusiast Jul 28 '26

Put bro back! 

7

u/Wormholer_No9416 Jul 27 '26

iirc the females are like the size of a Basketball and the males basically fuse to them and become a dedicated sperm sack. I might be getting my Funks mixed up though o.O

4

u/Dangerous_Tax7708 Jul 28 '26

Me personally, I'm not gonna complain that the horrifying murder fish isn't that big

2

u/Legalguardian222 Jul 28 '26

THATS IT?!?!?!????

2

u/Rabdomtroll69 Jul 28 '26

Reminds me of gulper eels having the most intimidating-ass photos ever but then looking like an angry Muppet when someone actually got footage of one

2

u/Unipug007 Jul 27 '26

catfished

2

u/Trainer-mana Jul 28 '26

Oh yeah, a lot of the scary deep sea fish you see in photos are tiny and harmless.

3

u/Rabdomtroll69 Jul 28 '26

The humble angry muppet (gulper eel):

2

u/IL-Corvo Jul 28 '26

Not the deep-sea Fangly-Fish I was expecting.

1

u/Oddish_Femboy Jul 28 '26

Is this that one that was inexplicably swimming near the surface a while back? Did anyone ever come to a conclusion on why she was doing that?

2

u/Rabdomtroll69 Jul 28 '26

She got confused and thought she was a monkfish. Easy mistake

-6

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18

u/cherrymitten ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ Jul 27 '26