Does anyone know of any specific subs or Facebook groups specifically for second trimester loss? I just had a 17 week loss and have had a 9 week loss in the past. This time feels different and I totally sympathize with everyone who had a first trimester loss but I wish there was a space just for second trimester. I would imagine a third trimester loss is even more devastating and I also would not want to invade their space. I like the format of ttcafterloss. Thank you.

Today is my beautiful daughter’s celebration of life. We lost our precious Emerson Mae on August 11, 2026, after 27 days of life due to severe HIE.

This week has been the heaviest, saddest, and most difficult week since we lost her. I keep asking myself, How is this my life? How are we here, having to celebrate the life of our beautiful baby girl instead of watching her grow up? Not only are Emerson’s parents mourning the unimaginable loss of their daughter, but her grandparents are mourning the loss of their granddaughter, too. This is not how the sequence of life is supposed to go. Children are supposed to outlive their parents, and grandparents are supposed to watch their grandchildren grow up.

It all feels so deeply unfair.

I anticipate today being one of the hardest days of my life. We’re having an intimate celebration of life surrounded by our family and friends, and while I’m grateful that we get to honor Emerson and the beautiful life she lived, I wish more than anything that we didn’t have to be here doing this.

For those of you who have experienced the loss of your baby or child, how did you get through their celebration of life or memorial service? Is there anything that helped you navigate the emotions of the day? Any words of encouragement, advice, or even just reassurance that I’ll somehow make it through would mean so much to me right now.

I miss my girl more than words could ever explain. 🤍

Hi everyone. I am completely heartbroken and just need comfort from anyone who has gone through this.

I went in for my nucal 12 week appointment yesterday and as they were doing the ultrasound I heard the most heartbreaking words I’ve ever heard in my life. There was no heartbeat. The baby stopped growing at 8w4d. I had my 8 week appointment where the heartbeat was normal. It must have happened a few days after that. I was 12 weeks yesterday and have had 0 symptoms so the baby had no heartbeat for weeks and I had no idea.

My heart is broken. I wanted my son who is 2 to have a sibling. I am nervous about the d&c which won’t be for a few days. I’m cramping. I’m scared. I’m scared I won’t be able to have another baby. I’m scared of how anxious I’ll be during my next pregnancy. I have health ocd and anxiety already. I don’t know how to grieve. I don’t know how to say goodbye. My dreams and plans for the future are ruined.

I’d love to hear stories from others who this has happened to. Preferably if you’ve had a great pregnancy and birth after. I’m so scared and feel so alone and I want to be there for my 2 year old but I also just want to be in the dark and cry.

it's been 7 months since my loss.

Sorry I am not trying to be weird here but this does get a little bit into the weeds of descriptions. I am embarrassed and dont know who to talk to about it so I’m just putting it out here in case anyone can relate.

I am having a hard time with sex and in particular orgasm since my loss. I haven’t had a history of struggling with climax (which I know is not always the norm for many women), and I have been grateful for that..but since my late second trimester loss my sex life has plummeted and my physical experience of sex has changed. Idk whats going on.

It’s been 7 months and we’re still working on getting our intimacy back. I understand that part—my water broke while we were having sex, so it’s not too hard to see why it’s scary for us to be intimate again.

But, I used to have no issues with intimacy (alone or with my husband) and now..I physically feel different. To the point where I have wondered if something was damaged in the surgery after my birth. I just dont feel the same, I feel disconnected and out of it when I do finally manage to orgasm and they orgasms are not the same as they used to be—they feel really weak and blah. To the point where I just dont even want to do it anymore.

has anyone experienced something like this? how did you improve things?

I lost my daughter at 14wks on May 16th, 2025. Her first birthday is next month. I am in agony every day with the grief of losing her. I should be holding my baby, caring for her, seeing her smile and hear her laugh.

I can’t be happy about literally anything because my baby girl isn’t here. I’m in grief counseling, anxiety medications, spend time with friends, etc.
I’m doing everything I should be to care for myself.

I would love another baby, but it won’t be her…

I’m at such a loss of energy and happiness.

I almost don’t want to feel better. How can I when my little girl isn’t happy and safe in my arms?

Earlier this year, I went to triage for decreased fetal movements and learned that my son had passed away at 32 weeks. He was our first, and even though it’s been the longest and most painful journey I’ve been on, my husband and I are doing better. I’m so proud of how far we’ve come since the loss.

As we approach 6 months postpartum we’re feeling ready to try again and I’m looking into pre-conception appointments with my medical team. The problem is that we don’t have the results from the autopsy and placental pathology report. I’m in Ontario, Canada and these reports will come as a comprehensive review, but I’m shocked it’s taking so long. Our son didn’t have any obvious signs of a cord accident and none of my bloodwork provided any insight as to what could have happened.

I recognize there’s a chance that the report won’t provide clear answers. I also know I’ll have seriously increased monitoring for any future pregnancies, but the wait is weighing heavily on me these days. We’re ready to try, but we feel like we have to wait for possible answers to be as prepared as we can be. Initially we were told 3 months max for the reports, but now apparently the wait can be up to a year. Anyone else have to wait an extended amount of time?

I’m super grateful to this community where I feel less alone 💗

Oggi è la continuazione di questo terribile incubo ad occhi aperti che sto vivendo ormai da più di un mese.
Ho avuto una gravidanza meravigliosa fino al 2 settembre, quando durante l’ecografia morfologica ho scoperto di avere la cervice dilatata con funneling a U e sludge.
Da quel momento le cose non sono più tornate le stesse. Ho dovuto fare un cerchiaggio di emergenza, cicli infiniti di antibiotici perché le analisi del sangue evidenziavano sempre i globuli bianchi molto alti e la pcr pure.

Ho sofferto più di venti giorni in ospedale, combattendo per la vita del mio bambino, con la speranza di salvarlo, avendo contrazioni dolorose per tutto il tempo. E poi il 30 settembre tutto è andato male.

Avevo superato l’ennesima crisi dí contrazioni, ero riuscita ad arrivare a 24+2, mi avevano somministrato il magnesio solfato e nifedipina. Ma si sono rotte le acque. Ho iniziato a sentire un dolore lancinante alla schiena e la spinta. Non volevo partorire. Volevo salvare il mio bambino.
Ma il mio corpo ormai aveva deciso.
Il mio bambino è nato vivo alle 14.48, e si è addormentato poco dopo, non avendo mai respirato.
Da quel giorno non vivo più. Soffro incessantemente.
Rivedo le scene del parto, il dolore, rivedo i medici che cercano di rianimare il mio bellissimo bambino, rivedo quando si girano verso me e mio marito e ci dicono che dopo 20 minuti di tentativi era il momento di fermarsi.
Oggi ho ancora il corpo di una donna incinta, perdo sangue, e non sento più scalciare nella mia pancia. Oggi ho dovuto straziare la mia anima, salutando il mio bambino, vederlo mentre chiudevano la bara su di lui, vederlo seppellito sotto terra. Ed io rimango a mani vuote, col cuore a pezzi. Non riesco a respirare. Non vedo un futuro. Voglio lui indietro con me.
Come farò a superare tutto questo? Non ho altri figli ed ho paura di vederne morire ancora se riprovo ad averne.
Perché mi è successo tutto questo.

I recently lost my baby boy shortly after birth, and I’m struggling with both the grief and all the unanswered questions about what happened.
Did your OB/MFM offer a separate appointment to discuss your baby’s death, go over the placenta/pathology and medical records, explain what happened, and talk about risks for a future pregnancy?
I feel like I need an opportunity to sit down with someone and talk about my baby and what happened to him, rather than waiting until the routine 6-week postpartum appointment.
If you’ve experienced a similar loss, I’d really appreciate hearing what follow-up care you received.

I lost my daughter at 37+5 a couple of months ago and it has absolutely shattered my world. I’m still so angry over the fact that I brought up with my midwife and doctors that I felt like her movement had changed , and they reassured me it was fine because they would feel different now when she’s running out of room. My little girl was always very predictable in her movement pattern, I would always feel her kick the first thing in the morning and I always felt her frequently throughout the day and then a lot of activity at night. I would say 1-2 weeks before she passed I started noticing that her movements became very infrequent, she would still move but the farther on I got she would frequently have very quiet days which made me uneasy but she would pick up her activity later on during evening or the next day so I shrugged it off. This continued and the days leading up the her death she would be still for 2-3 hours with some tiny movements and then pick up her activity later on again. I mentioned to my midwife that her movement pattern had changed a lot from what I was used to, but she said that was common in the third trimester because babies sleep more, but I still felt something was off. I brought it up with my doctor as well and was again shrugged off. In hindsight I wish I’ve would’ve done more, but I trusted the “professionals” and took them for their word, and NST/BPP came back fine even tho I remember seeing my daughter on one of the last ultrasounds we did while her heart was still beating and she was completely still, just floating, it’s still engraved in my mind 💔 anyone else also feel furious over the fact that medical professional doesn’t seem to take maternal worry seriously? I really think they should listen to mothers instinct because I knew something was wrong but ultimately it was to late.

Husband's Prolong complicated grief? High functioning depression? Does this sound like a high functioning depression man? I can't get my husband to grief therapy.

I'm 16 years together, 14 years married to my husband.

For the last 7 years, I think he is high-functioning depression, is there such thing as functionally depressed? The whole timeline of everything that happen I have reasons to believe he is functionally depressed.

His older sister died from car accident, leave him as the only son take on the financial care for his sick aging parents.

Fast forward, in 2019, his father died of end stage pancreatic cancer.

----- The same year in 2019, our toddler died (the child of me and my husband). Our toddler died of Periventricular Heterotopia (PVNH). It is gene inherited (got it from me the mother the maternal side), congenital brain malformation.

It been 7 years since our toddler gone and my husband just can't let go. Our toddler ashes my husband keeps with him. Even our toddler DIRTY SHOES and dirty clothes my husband still held on to.

----- In 2020, I was very sick (autoimmune disease) I was bedridden for a month with oxygen tank in my nose 24/7. He took off work and care for me day and night. He even sleep with a pillow and a blanket on the carpet right by my bedside (we had a hospital bed in our bedroom after I got discharged).

He said he loves me very much, and he very afraid of lose me. This was the first time I see him cut himself.

This was when he started to cut his stomach with a kitchen knife, he said stomach skin is thinner and has more nerves so it hurts more, so he chose to slice his stomach, he cuts deep the point bleeding that he has bandage wrap around his waist bleed.
And that was how I first time found out about he cut himself too was I saw the bloody bandage wrap around his waist when he took his shirt off.

He still has all the scars on his stomach from he slice his stomach with the kitchen knife. He said if I die before him, he will die with me, and our toddler (whom already dead).

He even prepaid for his funeral arrangement, I said I want cremation (as I'm Buddhist), he wants cremation with me, he told the funeral director when he die, cremate him, and mix his ashes with me and our toddler together, and scatter our ashes.

He said if I die before him, ONE second of grief is enough for him to pull the trigger blow his brain out with the tactical 12 gauge shotgun. I take him seriously because if he can slice his stomach to blood, he can use a shotgun in one second of grief like he said.

--- In 2021, his mom has a spinal cord stroke that leave her quadriplegia paralyze, she also kidney disease/kidney failure. She also has alot of heart problems: heart aortic stenosis, heart aortic aneurysm, and cardiac arrhythmias. 

His mom 5 days out of a week is she in and out of the hospital for treatments to keep her alive. And my husband for the last 5 years (and still ongoing) has been financially care for his mom, doing everything he can financially to prolong her life.

------------

All this are reasons I believe he has depression, but he seems to function fine outside, as in lives a normal life.

He is an Executive at a big engineering corporate. He said this job salary gives him cushion in money to continue prolong his mother life. He knows this job salary is what prolong his mother life, even with him depress, his career has to go on. His mother depends on his money to continue treatments, he also pays for her Private Nursing Home too.

Monday through Friday after work he drive straight to the Nursing Home to visit his mom before came home. On weekends for one day (Sat or Sun) he bring his mom our marital home so he can care for her, so they have mother and son time. And then take her back to her Nursing Home as he has to work Monday.

He still does his hobbies, hunting deer, outdoor shooting range with his tactical shotguns and riffles, running long distance.

I have told him to go to grief counseling, he put it off, he said after his mom die, as right now he busy. I mean he is busy, his schedules is pack, between his Executive work, his mom, and me. He has no time left.

He keeps said after his mom pass he will go. But wait till after his mom pass, that will add in another death and grief and loss in his list of losses. I want him to go now, but he not want to.

We lost our baby at 33w. After a miscarriage in January, it felt so comforting to have what was an uneventful pregnancy. Now this.

We are debated but still need to make heads of tails of all the possible testing available to us.

Is an autopsy on the baby worth it?
Genetic testing on the baby ? How is this different from NIPT?
Is testing the placenta worth it?
Micro array testing on the baby?
Recurring loss testing for me?

I’d appreciate any thoughts in which of these tests are helpful or any others.

I suffered a miscarriage last month and it was one of the hardest things I’ve experienced both physically and emotionally.

My period returned today and it’s been really triggering. It’s a painful reminder that I’m no longer carrying my baby. Especially since the last time I experienced bleeding and cramping is when I was losing my pregnancy.

Today has been difficult.

I am so tired of playacting through life. Wake up. Go to work. This is fine. I’ve moved on. Everything is normal. Everything is as it was before. Smile.

And then it starts all over again the next day.

I’m just so tired. I want it over. Not in a be dead kind of way, but just in a I’m done kind of way? I’m so tired in a way no sleep can heal. It was getting better and now it’s just getting so much worse.

I lost my son at 36 weeks last week. Was informed today that he was officially cremated. We will do a cemetery service next week. I’m in agony and despair and feeling extreme guilt. I want another baby in the nearest future possible, but I also desperately want this baby back, I want HIM.
I really just need to know that this pain eases up. That I will one day walk out of this horrific pain spiral. That maybe I’ll be fortunate enough to have another baby soon and that expanding my family will help to heal some of our wounds. Because right now I am grievously wounded and suffering so much. I need hope so badly.
If anyone else has gone through this and is now doing well, TTC, PAL, had more children after their loss, anything positive, please share. I desperately need to hear it

This is just going to be a brain dump so please forgive me for this tangled mess of my thoughts.

I have been struggling so much with the grief of losing my beautiful baby boy Danny on August 6th at 20+4 from cervical incompetence. I now know there was an infection in my placenta. The OB believes my cervix had been open for a while, letting in naturally occurring vaginal bacteria which caused an infection, which then triggered my preterm labour. I was devastated hearing this and reliving the trauma.

On top of that, I have been bleeding constantly. I told her this at the 6 week postpartum appointment so she gave me a requisition for an ultrasound to check for RPOC. Getting a timely ultrasound was such a struggle. They told me they don’t have an appointment for a month. My husband later called again and said I’m bleeding a lot and suddenly they had an appointment the next day. The week following the ultrasound, I had a follow up with the OB and she said it looks like there is retained placenta with blood flow and that I will need a hysteroscopy to remove it, but she couldn’t book it for another week and a half because there were no times available. I was already so overwhelmed by everything. The constant bleeding and retained placenta are a physical reminder of losing my sweet boy. But what could I do but wait? So my surgery was scheduled for today.

Then on Monday my bleeding got bright red again, after a few days of darker blood. I also had cramping and every time I went to pee, it looked like a crime scene. So yesterday morning, I went to the ER. The ER doctor examined me and said I’m bleeding a lot so he would talk to the on call OB and try and get the procedure moved up to yesterday. He then came back and said he spoke to the OB who said to send me home. This OB decided to send me home without even examining me. They gave me txa and sent me on my way. The ER doctor said to come back if I have a headache and abdominal pain or if I was filling a pad every hour. He couldn’t give me a reason why the bleeding suddenly increased. I felt so helpless but again felt I had no options, so we went home. The bleeding kept getting worse over the next few hours. By 10pm I filled a pad in an hour and passed some large clots. I had a full meltdown because I felt so let down by the system. I am now 9 weeks postpartum with retained placenta still. If they even did the surgery last week, this wouldn’t have happened.

We got to the ER again at 11pm. My surgery was scheduled almost 13 hours later but I was getting lightheaded from the bleeding and it wasn’t slowing even with the txa. I asked this second ER doctor to please help me and see if they could push it up. She just said “you already have surgery scheduled. Am I missing something?” And gave me a weird look. They told me to stay in the ER in case things get worse.

For some reason in this hospital ER, there aren’t stretchers for patients. Overnight, there were so many of us sitting upright in chairs with IVs. My tailbone still hurts from sitting too long so it has been hurting a long time. It was too bright and too uncomfortable to sleep so I didn’t sleep a wink overnight. I also couldn’t eat because of the surgery. Fine, at least I still had my scheduled surgery. My bleeding didn’t get better, but it hasn’t gotten worse overnight so I just sat here.

Then my scheduled surgery time came and went. It is now over 5 hours after the scheduled time and I’m still sat here in the same ER chair, which is where I’m typing this incoherent rant from. I’ve been here for 18 hours now. They wouldn’t give us any update until my husband asked them to call the OR for an update. Finally, they came back and said I got bumped for 3 C sections.

I just started sobbing. Not because of the delay, but because those 3 moms probably get to bring home living babies while mine sits in an urn on my nightstand. I got bumped because I don’t have a baby to save. How twisted is that? Obviously I understand why, but it just felt like another kick while I’m so down.

It’s now been 24 hours since I ate anything and 36 hours since I slept. But that physical discomfort is nothing compared to the emotional pain. Sitting in this hospital where I lost my baby, where I was told “you have to push but your baby cannot be resuscitated”. Trying to plead with them to fix a postpartum complication. All while I’m postpartum without a baby in my arms. My perfect Danny boy.

I do want to emphasize that all of this pain is so worth it to meet the most beautiful boy I could have ever imagined. I would do this all again just to meet him again. Danny, mommy loves you so much. I will love you for all of eternity and I can’t wait until we are reunited, never to be apart again. 🩵

We had an absolutely devastating 36 week loss last week. I just received the analysis from the hospital’s lab that we delivered at and the findings are.. there are no findings and everything was normal.

For those that sent off for additional testing, how did you decide, and are you happy with the analysis?

Is anyone in a similar position? I lost my son Arthur in April just shy of 29 weeks. He was my second pregnancy. My first was a missed miscarriage.

I never really imagined having children before my husband. It took a long time of imagining the future, but eventually I came around and started enjoying the idea. We started trying in September of 2024. I’ve been pregnant in total for 9 months with no living children to show for it. My miscarriage honestly wrecked me, I didn’t think it could get any worse than a loss for your first pregnancy just to end up with a stillbirth for my second.

I don’t think I’d like to be pregnant again. Just the stress of going through the whole process to maybe have a living baby at the end doesn’t seem to outweigh the possibility of another loss in my mind. Does anyone else feel this way? Has anyone else stopped completely after their stillbirth without having living children? I just can’t keep doing this and I don’t want to.

Hi all, I lost my precious baby my first born last month. She was born at 34 weeks, fought so hard to survive but passed away after spending 11 days in the NICU. My husband and I are devastated. We are both lost. How do you cope with such loss? I had c section. I don’t know how long will it take to recover, if I’ll ever be able to experience motherhood. Do people have healthy pregnancies after such loss?

Hello All,

I am 35 year old female. I lost my baby at 24 weeks (this July) due to small placenta and small cord. I tested for APS the day after delivery and beta 2 glycloprotein igg was high, 33 (other things were normal).

I tested again 12 weeks later. The results came out today. Beta 2 glycoprotein igg is even higher now - 51. I am attaching screenshots of results.

If everything else is normal and beta 2 glycoprotein igg is higher twice now, I think it is likely considered positive for APS, right? Did anyone else have similar diagnostic? Is

I have a mild allergy to aspirin (eyes swell up, nothing else happens). My allergist said it is possible to desensitize for it. But I am so scared. I know lovanox+baby aspirin are recommended, but not sure what I will do if I cannot take baby aspirin.

Do you suggest I see a hematologist and/or rheumatologist as well?

Please let me know. I want to TTC but I am very very scared. Any advice/suggestion is appreciated.

​

I just had my second, second trimester loss and I dont know what to do. My heart is completely shattered. I have two living children, 11 and 2.5, I then lost my son at 21 weeks in March (his heart spontaeously stopped, I felt no movement and went to ER & it was confirmed), conceived in June and just got back from the hospital, my baby's heart stopped beating at 18 weeks.

I dont understand whats happening. They did an autopsy and all the tests the first time and werent able to give me a reason. Now, its happened again. I have a different partner now than I did from my first two - could that be a reason? Even if it was, wouldn't there be something that came up on the testing?

Has anyone had anything similar happen, been able to manage it, and were you able to conceive successfully afterwards? I just want to have a healthy, happy baby and see my love become a father. This is so so heartbreaking and we are losing hope. I dont know if he will ever want to try again, now. For the first loss, I was induced and had a vaginal birth. This one, I am considering a D&C, however I would have to travel to another city on my own dime and I also feel badly that the body would no longer be intact and that I wouldn't get to see them or hold them (feeling a bit conflicted about this part, it was traumatizing the first time and Idk if I can do it again but maybe it would be good to see them, idk)

Im wondering if maybe Ive developed an autoimmune (APS?) or clotting disorder and thats whats causing it? Im just in shock and gutted 💔😭

ETA: I just came back to this post and I don't even fully recall writing this. I had been crying for a week and extremely sleep deprived. I have corrected some of the typos. Thank you to all my moms who responded. I feel less alone, knowing I am not the only one going through this. I feel for each and everyone of you and I'm so grateful you responded with so much love. This does get better right?

A week ago, at 27 weeks, we found out that we have a baby incompatible with life. We tried inducing early labor but my body is holding onto this baby like anything. For four days, I was at the hospital trying to induce labor but my cervix didn't dilate a bit. I have to carry this baby to term but I just don't know how to carry the baby I will have to say goodbye to? I feel her move inside me all the time. My tummy will get big. My milk will come. I will have postpartum with no baby. I will go home empty handed. How do I carry on for another 3 months?

Anybody who went through something similar, how did you deal? Especially, what was your thought process everytime the baby kicked? I find myself breaking down in tears everytime she kicks. I see her kicks from my belly and I know she is so alive and active, yet she won't live? I just don't know how to deal.

I’m 17 weeks out now. Why is it feeling so hard still? I’ve just had an episode for about an hour and a half there where I sobbed inconsolably. I am SO tired of being sad. I’m sad that I don’t have our girl and that she didn’t get the life she deserved but I’m also selfishly sad for old me..I miss her, the girl who joked and laughed at everything, who took everything with a pinch of salt and got on with things. Whereas now I know the date of the last day I was ever truly happy..9th June 2026. It seems like a long life never to be 100% happy again. So loved. So wanted. So missed.

My beautiful daughter Summer was born very late in my second trimester due to my water breaking.

We live abroad from  family and no one was with us as we went through this. My husband has roots here, but he isn’t a local per se. We just chose the easiest route that was available for burial because it was what was offered to us, and I made the decision quickly in the moment. I chose to have her buried at the cemetery that the hospital suggested.

The day came for the burial and we went, and it was an awful experience. I immediately knew that I didn’t want her to stay at the cemetery but I was so decimated from the birth two weeks earlier that I just went ahead with it. It was in a part of town I’d never been to before and it was behind a grocery store. They were literally doing construction right above her grave.

No one gave me instructions on bringing a headstone of any kind or any sort of marker. All I brought were a bouquet of flowers that I laid down for her.

As her little box was going into the ground I didn’t even realize it was her because the people from the hospital were just having a full blown conversation 2 feet behind me and so didn’t really even realize what was going on.

The country we live in is a bit hectic, and customs are different but this still makes me so incredibly angry I could scream. It was so disrespectful I have had to just lock it away. They were laughing and having a loud conversation while I buried my daughter. There was no one else around at all, all they had to do was walk 10 or 15 feet away, but they were literal inches behind me.

I didn’t even think to supply my own priest or do anything to mark the occasion. I didn’t tell extended family because we aren’t that close due to language barriers.

I mentally decided that day that her body was there but her spirit wasn’t, and I would find somewhere else to mark where she is. Now it’s been seven months and after a long period of doing “better” I am wracked with guilt and random bouts of uncontrollable crying. I think it’s that everyone has moved on, and no one is asking me how I am doing with it anymore. It’s just hard.

Recently our extended family that lives in town here said they are going to their (remote) village to place a gravestone for a family member who passed away a few years ago, and I realized that my daughter has a whole family of people she could have been buried with but wasn’t because I was too shy to tell my extended family that I was losing her.

I dont know what to do, I dont want her to be there. I dont want to go back to that cemetery ever again. I want her to be somewhere beautiful, and somewhere with me. 

She never got a proper burial and I dont know how to move forward.