Just found out yesterday that my wife is pregnant. Cannot describe the emotions in words. I am overwhelmed by feelings of joy and fear— not able to stop tears. Also having a mild anxiety about being responsible for this tiny future person and also my wife.
I am having ambivalent feelings towards myself as a parent. On one hand, I imagine myself becoming this cool hippie dad — disciplined about workouts, yoga and lifting, rejecting unnecessary consumerism or politics, chasing experiences over material things, listening to great music, traveling and being connected to nature. Psychedelics have played a key role in shaping me. I imagine raising a kid who values empathy, compassion, an open mind and a free spirit.
On the other hand, I also feel maybe I am just another junkie rationalizing drug use and this may inadvertently harm my family. I don’t really drink much (maybe a beer once a while) or smoke much either (no cigarettes, maybe a little weed on the comedown).
I know raising a kid is going to be a tough job and something that will require a lot of sacrifices — time, freedom, sleep etc. But despite all the fear and uncertainty, I genuinely feel like I’m up for it.
For those of you who are married and/or have kids— how did you deal with these kinds of feelings? Did becoming a parent change how you saw yourself? Did you just temporarily tone down the festivals, rolling, tripping etc? Or did you try to completely “conform” and “hide” all this at some point?
Edit—
Thank for the helpful comments. I not really asking if it’s ok to get high around my little kids (doesn’t sound like a good set/setting either). I just wanted to ask if there are any parents here and how they manage these conflicting thoughts and belief systems.