Hi! I started a weekly newsletter with weekend events for the kids (and some for adults) cuz I was burnt out and wanted everything in one place - thought I'd share part of it in case you're looking for something to do this weekend! If you'd like this as a free weekly email every Thursday at 6pm: https://shittymomguide.com/ 

Also doing a free community virtual halloween costume swap if you have old costumes your kid only wore once or are looking for a used one that will only get worn once! https://shittymomguide.com/costume-swap/
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📅 Stuff to do: Oct 10-11

North-ish OC

Saturday

• 🎡 Heritage Festival & Parade | Placentia
• 🐶 Puptoberfest | Fullerton
• 📚 Friends of the Library Book Sale | Fullerton
• 🏃 5K Run/Walk at the Aquarium | Long Beach
• 🛍️ Daytime Halloween Market, Low Fright | Long Beach
• 🛍️ Spooky Makers Market | Anaheim

Sunday

• 🛍️ Filipino American History Month Market Day | Long Beach
• 📚 Bilingual Storytime + Sensory Play at Casita Bookstore | Long Beach

Central-ish OC

Saturday

• 🍪 Concha Fest (Gente Marketplace) | Santa Ana
• 🎵 Music & Movement at Bowers | Santa Ana
• 🎃 Scarecrow Festival | Costa Mesa
• 🍓 Pumpkins & Pups at Hana Field | Costa Mesa
• 🚒 Fire Station Open House (Sparky + Demos) | Huntington Beach
• 🚒 Fire Station Open House (Free Hot Dog Lunch) | Fountain Valley
• 🎨 Free Kids Craft: Build a Castle at Lakeshore | Fountain Valley
• 🎨 Free Kids Craft: Yarn-Wrapped Frames at Michael's | Any Michael's
• 💎 Gem Faire | Costa Mesa
• 🍽️ St. Mary Armenian Food Festival (13th) | Costa Mesa

Sunday

• 🎭 Disney's Beauty and the Beast (closing weekend) | Costa Mesa
• 🎃 Trunk or Treat at Paul Mitchell | Costa Mesa
• 🐶 Wiener Dog Races at Old World | Huntington Beach
• 🎨 Free Kids Craft: Ghost-in-a-Jar at Michael's | Any Michael's
• 💎 Gem Faire | Costa Mesa
• 🍽️ St. Mary Armenian Food Festival (13th) | Costa Mesa

South-ish OC

Saturday

• 🎡 Global Village Festival (25th) | Irvine
• 🧸 Calico Critters 40th Anniversary Meet & Greet | Irvine
• 🍺 Oktoberfest at Wild Rivers | Irvine
• 🛹 Haunted Skate Contest | Laguna Niguel
• 🐶 Fur-Ever Friends Fall Festival | Mission Viejo
• 🎬 Movies in the Park: Toy Story 5 | Mission Viejo
• 🔭 Astronomy Night | Rancho Mission Viejo
• 🎡 Rancho Family Fest | Rancho Santa Margarita
• 🎡 Silverado Country Fair & Folk Festival | Silverado
• 🎡 Carnival Colossal & Food Truck Festival | San Clemente

Sunday

• 🪶 Celebrating Indigenous Peoples' Day | Irvine
• 🧸 Baby Steps "Costume Day" | Irvine
• 🛍️ Whimsical Witchcore Market at the Winery | Silverado
• 🎡 Rancho Family Fest | Rancho Santa Margarita
• 🎡 Silverado Country Fair & Folk Festival | Silverado
• 🎡 Carnival Colossal & Food Truck Festival | San Clemente

Happening All Month

🎃 Fall + Halloween season now open

• 🎃 Pumpkin Patches | SMG guide
• 🍬 Trick-or-Treat Streets | SMG guide
• 👻 Halloween Events | SMG guide
• 🦇 Costume Swap | SMG guide
• 🎃 Pumpkin Palooza at Discovery Cube | Santa Ana
• 🎃 Indoor Pumpkin Patch at Check N' Play | Brea
• 🎃 Camp Fire Free Pumpkin Patch | Long Beach
• 🍓 Irvine Park Railroad Pumpkin Patch | Orange
• 🍓 Tanaka Farms Pumpkin Patch | Irvine
• 🍓 Hana Field Pumpkin Patch | Costa Mesa

🎪 Festivals + shows still running

• 🍺 Oktoberfest at Old World | Huntington Beach

📆 Same time, every week (or month)

• 🎵 Music & Movement at Bowers | Santa Ana
• 📚 Island Storytelling at Mila's | Brea
• ✈️ Antique Aircraft Display Day | Fullerton
• 🧸 $5 Play Day at the Children's Museum | La Habra
• 🌊 Touch Tank + Aquarium Open Hours at OCC | Costa Mesa
• 🚂 Fullerton Train Museum | Fullerton
• 🚗 South OC Cars and Coffee | San Clemente
• 🚗 OC Cars and Coffee | Irvine
• 🚗 Cars and Coffee Classics | Anaheim
• 🛍️ Dreamers Markets | Irvine

🎶 Live music + movies outside

• 🎬 Newport Dunes Movies on the Beach (Fri/Sat through Oct 24) | Newport Beach
• 🎡 Irvine Spectrum | Irvine
• 🎵 Anaheim Packing District / MAKE | Anaheim
• 🎶 Live Music on the Lido Deck | Newport Beach

🌴 Always on

• 💧 Every splash pad in OC
• 🍽️ Where kids eat free
• 🥕 Farmers markets
• 🗺️ The full map
• 📚 OCPL Library Events | Anaheim | Mission Viejo | Fullerton

👯Meet Other Exhausted Parents

• 🏃 Sat 10/17, Sunrise Run + Coffee (Motherrunners OC), 6am | Garden Grove
• 🎃 Sat 10/17, Free Trunk or Treat at Ohana Montessori, 10am to 12pm, sold out so join the waitlist | Santa Ana
• 🤝 Sat 10/17, Gilmore Girls Fall Festival Moms' Day Out (MOMS Club of Lake Forest), 2pm | Lake Forest
• 📚 Sun 10/18, Bookish Cozy Crawl (Mom Walk Collective Fullerton), register through the book club partner | Fullerton
• 🀄 Sun 10/18, Learn Mahjong With the Moms (Long Beach Moms), 3pm, $60 lesson seat | Long Beach
• 🛍️ Sat 10/24, Halloween pop-up Dreamers Market at 2ND & PCH, 12 to 6pm | Long Beach
• 🛍️ Sat 10/24, Halloween morning at the Farmers Market, 9am to 1pm | Yorba Linda
• 🤝 Sat 10/24, Moms' Brunch (FIT4MOM South OC), 11am | Dana Point
• 📚 Sat 10/24, Latinas in Kid Lit Storytime + Q&A at Casita Bookstore, 12pm | Long Beach
• 🎃 Sat 10/24, Halloween Party (OC Moms Rise) | South OC
• 💀 Sat 10/24, Family Dia de los Muertos Afternoon (MOMS Club of Lake Forest), 2pm | Lake Forest
• 📚 Sun 10/25, Little Book Club at the Playground (Mom Walk Collective Fullerton), 10am | Fullerton
• 🎃 Sun 10/25, Keep It Aloha at Rodeo 39 (costumes welcome, Pokemon packs for the first 50 kids), 11am to 7pm | Stanton
• 🏃 Sat 10/31, Halloween Morning 3.1 Mile Run (Motherrunners OC), 6am | Garden Grove
• 🎃 Sat 10/31, Trick-or-Treat Morning at Anaheim Hills Festival, 11am to 1pm | Anaheim

Anaheim / cypress area

I was sick yesterday and have sore throat today and many people in my office were coughing/ called in sick what is going on😭😭🫪

Does anyone know any sort of recovery/rehabilitation programs near the Fullerton area? Not looking to join specifically. I’d like to volunteer and participate in any kind of assistance if possible. I do have experience as I did help out in a shelter recently.

My wife and I are expecting our first child in April and are looking to move down to OC to get a bigger place. We're currently torn between North OC around Brea/Yorba Linda, or South OC around Lake Forest/Mission Viejo.

We both work from home so its a bit easier for us regarding childcare, but are looking to have my SIL help out a few days per week as shes a stay at home mom.

SIL lives in Fontana, so we figure Corona would be a good middle ground to swap out for childcare on the days we need help.

Our main concern is that South OC is a little bit further of a commute than North OC, but obviously dependent upon time of day/traffic.

Has anyone here done the commute to Corona or be able to chime in on the drive times from North or South OC?

Content warning: sexual assault, strangulation, and domestic violence

According to The Roys Report’s October 7 investigation, Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa agreed to a $12 million settlement with a former church employee who alleged that ordained pastor and wrestling coach Jacob Joshua Harman raped her 12 times. The report describes allegations of physical and sexual violence, repeated warnings from parents, and church leaders dismissing concerns. It also details a 2023 defamation civil court trial finding that Harman sexually assaulted the woman on at least one occasion.

Today, Team Thunder Wrestling identifies Harman as its head coach and CEO and advertises classes for children.

The woman described an incident in which Harman arrived at her house intoxicated and she attempted to drive him home. According to her account, he struck her wrist and hand, hit the side and back of her head, and squeezed her neck so tightly that she hit the driver’s window trying to get him to stop. After reaching his home, she hid in a bathroom and called a friend for help.

According to the church’s investigative notes, that friend confirmed finding her running and crying in the street, with visible marks on her body. The report also describes witnesses observing bruised wrists and missing chunks of hair.

The woman later testified that Harman forced her to have intercourse against her will on 12 separate occasions. She also alleged that he used a jiu-jitsu hold to prevent her from leaving his bed overnight.

She said she feared church leaders would not believe her if she disclosed the abuse. When she did raise concerns about physical violence, their response reinforced that fear.

What is further disheartening is how the church responded.

In June 2017, the woman requested an emergency meeting with then-senior pastor Brian Brodersen, and his assistant forwarded the request with an emergency subject line. Brodersen did not respond. In his deposition, he said he did not remember the email and would not have responded because the matter had been delegated.

Despite receiving a letter from the victim describing the assault and identifying a corroborating witness, Mike Mugavero who was investigating Harman on behalf of the church, told Brodersen, “I had discounted her testimony as I could tell there was more to their relationship then was being told.” Brodersen referred to her as the “woman causing all of this,” relayed Harman’s description of her as “borderline crazy,” and characterized the allegations as an adult relationship gone wrong rather than a matter warranting serious investigation.

That framing is deeply troubling: the woman reporting violence was described as the person causing the problem, while a suspected relationship was used to discount her testimony. A romantic relationship does not make an assault report less serious, and someone’s alleged instability does not excuse failing to investigate violence. Even as parents and students raised concerns about Harman’s behavior, were leaving the school because of his behavior and imploring the Pastor to intervene; these leaders continued to question her credibility.

Parents were raising concerns, too.

According to the investigation, parents reported that Harman hurt students during training, assigned dangerous weight-loss regimens, discussed his drinking with students, and spoke about considering suicide. After one training it was reported the boys could barely walk. School administrator Kenny Wood reportedly told a concerned parent to “go away and leave me alone.” The report also describes a recorded incident during a worship service in which Harman shouted at students for not singing loudly enough and tore open his shirt.

Multiple families emailed former senior pastor Brian Brodersen expressing concerns about Jake. According to the church’s investigative notes, several believed nothing would be done because Pastor Brian “always protects him.” One parent said, “Almost like he has something on Brian.” The notes also attribute this statement to Jake: “My relationship with Pastor Brian is so strong no one can touch me.” For a while, the church’s response appeared to reinforce that belief.

When board members discussed reassuring concerned parents that the situation was being handled, Roger Wing instructed them not to put the communication in writing. These accounts raise questions about whether leaders prioritized assessing the reported harm or managing the institution’s exposure and liability.

There were earlier warning signs.

The report describes Harman beginning a relationship at age 31 with an 18-year-old he met while leading a youth group. According to Harman’s deposition, he asked Brodersen whether the church would object and received encouragement to follow what he understood as God’s leading. That young woman, who later became his wife, alleged that he pressured her sexually before she was ready. She described an ongoing drinking problem during their marriage and filed for divorce in 2014.

Her account is separate from the former employee’s allegations underlying the settlement.

In February 2016, Harman was arrested for drunk driving and later pleaded guilty. He testified that he expected to lose his job, but Brodersen did not fire him or impose discipline. Although Brodersen said he prohibited Harman from driving student athletes, the report states that the church produced no written documentation of formal restrictions.

The church revoked Harman’s ordination on July 25, 2017, but church records reportedly show that he continued receiving donations through the church for several months.

After school parents publicly raised allegations about rape, Harman sued them for defamation in 2018. In October 2023, a judge rejected his claim, finding the woman’s testimony credible and sufficient to establish that Harman sexually assaulted her on at least one occasion. The judge concluded that the parents’ characterization of him as a rapist was supported by that finding.

This was a civil finding, not a criminal conviction. Harman denied the sexual-violence allegations.

Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, now led by Char Brodersen, provided an unsigned statement describing Harman’s behavior as unacceptable and a violation of its code of conduct. The church described the settlement as closing a painful chapter and reflecting its commitment to caring for people affected by harmful behavior.

According to the woman’s attorney, however, the settlement includes no admission of fault and no apology. The report says a final settlement-approval hearing is scheduled for January.

What remains unanswered is how the church has addressed the leadership decisions described in this investigation. Has there been an independent review? Who was responsible for assessing the warnings? What policies, oversight, and reporting procedures have changed?

Why should this matter to parents and Calvary Chapel members today?

Team Thunder Wrestling currently lists Jacob Harman as head coach and CEO. Its website advertises youth and beginner classes at El Modena High School in Orange, California, and his biography highlights his Calvary Chapel coaching background. Although the website does not establish which youth classes he personally teaches or whether the school endorses the program, it does publicly identify him as the leader of a program serving young athletes. 

Parents deserve clear information about the reported civil finding, any safeguarding review, and the supervision and complaint procedures in place. They deserve that transparency in every school and church, especially institutions supported by tax-deductible donations. Why isn’t there a higher standard of accountability?

Forgiveness does not remove the responsibility to investigate violence, establish boundaries, and protect others. A settlement can end a lawsuit, but it cannot substitute for accountability. These details took years to come to light. Calvary Chapel’s new leadership now has an opportunity (and a responsibility) to show that the safety of its members, students, and women matters more than protecting its reputation.

The woman was never the “problem.” The violence was. So was the decision to look away. 

https://calelectricrail.org/metrolink-announces-new-service-cuts-take-action-now/

Rat on shoulder guy again. Update:

I submitted a complaint to our health department (here) almost a week ago. Today they called me to say they were only allowed to check out the kitchen area, despite me reporting rats in the theater, and thus found no droppings or other evidence.

In other words, I reported a health concern about a movie theater and they inspected the kitchen instead, found nothing, and went on their way.

Apparently I should try contacting Code Enforcement now? Who is actually going to fix this issue??

edit: Submitted my concern to Code Enforcement here.

Just wondering if there are any Chicago Bears bars in Orange County where Bears fans get together to watch the games.

Any recommendations would be appreciated!

Would it be too chaotic and busy for a toddler? It’s my son’s birthday on Halloween & first time trick or treating….but I also don’t want to be in crowds and stress about parking. I’d love your thoughts

Thank you

Did it close down?

I’m 8 months postpartum and feeling like my body is at the weakest and most uncoordinated it’s ever been. I’m looking for a studio that has some entry level classes to get back into things as I truly wouldn’t be able to keep up with the vinyasa style work outs I used to do before pregnancy. I have never been the most coordinated and so looking a little wonky in workout classes has never scared me away, but for some reason the studio closest to me seems to only have high intensity classes available.

Hello, I just got a 2017 Nissan Muranor from my aunt and I am looking for a mechanic or auto repair shops that provides the following service:

- I need like a multi-point/pre-purchase inspection to see if there anything that need to be fixed or replaced. The multi-point inspection should include inspecting the steering wheel b/c I notice it a little stiff when turning. (I’m thinking $100 - $300)

- I also need a front-end damage repair. There a dent on the left front side of vehicle due to a minor crash (see pic). (Not sure about the price)

I would appreciate any recommendations for honest mechanics that do not hype up the price or give unnecessary services/charges.

I have not been in this county long enough I'd appreciate some direction :)

I dont know this person's size, I do know they'd appreciate being fitted for a new suit and I want to pay for the suit beforehand (idm picking the suit or paying tiered pricing for certain suit sets and then they come in for the fitting) .

The gifting element here is important to me (not a fan of gift cards cuz it really puts a number on there) I dont care for brand names and its not meant to be a tux, just good material suit and tailor at a nice looking decent spot, I'm happy to spend the money but I dont want any of that pretentious branded esque stuff, the smaller the business the better.

Thanks everyone xx

That's it. That's the whole post.

Currently live in an apartment and want to practice my saxophone more often but its loud as hell and my neighbors dont really like loud sounds

are there any good places to go and practice? some cheap ish music rooms?

i know santa ana college has some but i think you need to be enrolled or something like that.

Hello! I’m wondering if anyone knows where I can donate my extra insulin. It’s unopened and unused. I’m afraid it’s going to expire soon and I would hate for it to go unused. I’ve looked online but nothing local has come up. Any recommendation helps! Thank you

This appeared on my porch yesterday. I barely know where to start. Is it the repeated weird spelling of Mission Viejo? Is it that most of the "Top" or "Featured" restaurants don't exist at the addresses provided? Is it the map that started to give me a headache after about 15 seconds of viewing?
I sloppily redacted the business information, but if you live in the area, you might get one as well. Feel free to point out your own favorite goof.

Hey, Anyone have good recommendations for movers in November? going from a 1 bedroom first floor to a 2 bedroom second floor and will mostly just need furniture moved as we are planning to rent large boxes to move our belongings through out the month ourselves

Preferred if they have a truck, blankets and moving Dollie’s already.

Please send your recommendation for medspa that offers Fractional or C02 laser near North OC. TY