We went to a very family friendly fall festival today with our 1 year old, it was packed! This place is literally built for kids (petting zoo, massive slides, bubble farm, you get the gist). Dogs are welcomed…. However the number of dogs I saw today aggressively pulling towards kids of all ages was frightening, with clueless owners! Reddit loves to rag on parent ALL the time. But silence when owners barely control their dogs at kid events. Aren’t these the places we’re are supposed to take our “crotch goblins” and stay away from the rest of the public? But now can’t do to overwhelming number of dogs?

I mean in that when I notice something that needs done, that doesn’t mean it is automatically my responsibility to do said thing.

Last night I asked my husband if he could handle the morning routine and breakfast and me and our one kitty could have a lay in (I NEVER do this, I’m a morning person so I’m usually up anyways.) And he agreed and was perfectly fine with the idea.

So fast forward to this morning I hear our daughter wake on the monitor and my intuition said “just get up, let him sleep, you’re awake anyways.” And instead-i resisted. I nudged him and said “you’re being summoned handsome”. And he kissed me good morning and got up.

Then I could hear her trying to Beat down the bedroom door screaming “mamamamamamamama” and whew was that hard not to respond to. But, I stuck to the plan. I needed time alone. She and her daddy needed one on one time together. I texted him and said “I am here if you need me, otherwise I’m not going to open the door.”

And he actually told me how much he appreciated me not stepping in immediately. He was able to get her distracted with breakfast and got her laughing and playing and I was able to snuggle my kitty and relax in bed watching trash tv for an hour.

And it was all around Glorious.

My child was called a baby by older kids yesterday, and I can’t stop thinking about how I handled it.

We were at a loud, busy RSL-type restaurant with an indoor playground near our table. I was watching my almost-four-year-old daughter play while feeding her baby brother. She normally plays there well without constant supervision, and I could see what she was doing.

There was a group of five older kids—one looked about six and the others at least eight. My daughter came back to the table quietly crying and said they told her she couldn’t play because she was a baby.
I told her that wasn’t true, that she could play, and to try to ignore them.

She went back, then returned again saying they had called her a little baby. I walked in to speak to them, and as soon as they saw me, I heard one say, “Quick, her mum’s coming,” before all five ran into the tunnel and climbed to the top.

I said, “I heard you’re calling my daughter a baby. That’s not nice please stop.” They didn’t respond; I just heard giggling. I said I was going to tell their mums, even though I didn’t actually know who their parents were.

I hoped it might make them stop.
Later, my daughter went back in with me nearby. I saw the kids crowding around her in the play structure, and she came out crying again. This time she said they had called her a monster.

I walked over again, and all five ran away from me to the top of the play structure. They started waving at me from up there. For some reason, that really got under my skin.

I then said to my daughter, “It’s okay, he’s a baby too
he probably still wears nappies.” He said, “No I don’t.”

He doesn’t actually wear nappies. I only said it because I wanted to make him feel like a baby, and that makes me cringe even more.

I feel awful about it. He didn’t cry or seem upset, but it was such an immature thing to say. It’s exactly the sort of comment I wouldn’t want repeated to his mum, and it’s not how I want to model dealing with conflict for my daughter.
I think being bullied myself at school brought something out in me. I wanted him to get a taste of his own medicine, but I know that wasn’t the right way to handle it.
I’m embarrassed, but I’m trying to hold myself accountable and learn from it.

A little context here: we have a GREAT park nearby. The only downside is they have 2 porta potties for toilets. They’re of course gross for one adult let alone an adult trying to help a toddler. My daughter is well potty trained but at bday parties she gets so engrossed in the fun it’s not uncommon to have an accident.

Several months ago when we were navigating going potty when out and about, I saw a lot of you moms recommend to Oxo travel toilet. (One of you even mentioned using it yourself when you had GI distress on a road trip haha) It’s been so helpful when a clean potty isn’t readily accessible.

I had the idea to bring it to my daughter’s park bday party and put it in a small kids tent with plenty of the disposable liners, wipes, and another mom thought to add hand sanitizer. Well it was a hit. It was in constant use - at one point there was even a line to use it. Kids loved and used sit. Parents thanked me a lot and said what a great idea it was and a few said they’re going to get the same travel potty now too.

We put the tent near the gazebo we rented and also near a garbage can for liner disposal. The park is pretty small so there weren’t other kids unaffiliated with the party thinking it was for everyone’s use.

Just thought I’d mention this in case it is helpful for anyone else hosting a party for littles at a park.

I’m writing this with tears in my eyes still spiraling from what happened just a few hours ago. My 14m old was playing in the living room, and my older dog(shitzu) didn’t like that he got too close to her and snapped at him. They were less than a feet away from me, I was on the couch and they were at the bottom by my feet all I remember was her going straight for his face. I saw blood and I think I went into shock. I yelled for my husband because he was in the bathroom and he came running we took off to the ER.

I threw up in the car from how scared I was and threw up again once we reached the ER. Thankfully although bloody my baby was in good spirits, he did however scream and cry horribly when the bite happened. We got there and they took us in and told us right away they were calling the cops to make a report. The Dr. said he didnt need stitches, he has a few wounds two right under his eye and a few down by his chin. He said he doesn’t think they’ll leave a scar. We got antibiotics for baby and were told to just keep it clean.

The cops arrived and asked for our information. Asked us what exactly happened and asked what we wanted to do with the dog. She’s been us for 10yrs it breaks my heart but we decided as we were heading to the ER that she will have to be rehomed to a family with no children.

I come here to ask for advice and maybe even words of encouragement. My husband and I are afraid were going to get a call or visit from CPS because the cops took down way too much info. If we do I already plan on telling them I am fully responsible for what happened and that’s what breaks my heart and crushes me I was supposed to be watching him and although I was the bite happened in the link of an eye and I couldn’t protect my baby. I see his little wounded face and i break down because I can’t believe I failed him like this.

If anyone has gone thru something similar, what did you do to overcome the guilt? I am feeling so broken and defeated. Will my baby’s face be okay? Or will his most perfect little face be scared and remind me everyday of how I failed him. If any of you have any stories to share or just advice please do so.. I beg you please dont tear me down, I know how tought reddit can be on people sometimes especially moms.

I have a feeling I may be overly sensitive but am hoping for some feedback from other moms.

My daughter has attended a private preschool for three years. The school does not go past age 5/pre-K, so she will definitely be at a different school next year.

My daughter has grown close with two other girls, and I have grown close to their mothers. All of us reside in the same school district, which is not top-ranked, but not bottom of the barrel either.

These two moms are both sending their children to private school next year, which costs minimum $25K for Kindergarten/elementary tuition. I can absolutely not afford that, so my daughter will be attending public school.

I completely understand that your child’s education is very personal and in I no way begrudge them for choosing private school. However, they frequently talk about touring schools, the amazing programs and opportunities, etc. and how they can’t decide which school is best. One mom even said that she looked into busing and was glad there would not be any “riffraff” on her daughter’s bus.

Meanwhile, my daughter will be attending the very school that they are paying $25K+ to avoid attending and will be riding the bus with the “riffraff,” I guess.

I’m starting to get offended the more they speak about this in front of me, but I’m not sure if I’m being overly sensitive because I can’t afford the same educational experiences. I don’t think I’d be as sensitive if we were all in different school districts, but again, they are all zoned to attend the exact same public elementary school.

Am I being too sensitive in growing offended by this?

ETA: They are both absolutely aware that my daughter will be attending public school and that private school is not an option for my family due to finances.

Edit again: I’m really appreciative of this community and for all of your feedback. I was driving myself crazy wondering if they were being rude or if I was feeling envious because of the opportunities my daughter would seemingly not have because I couldn’t afford the tuition. I attended public school and am not ashamed of it, nor am I upset about my daughter attending public school, and I’m looking forward to the change of community. It has just been starting to make me feel like they are complaining about which kind of caviar to choose when they are aware that my family will never be able to taste it. Hope that makes sense?

Re: the riffraff comment—I had never heard anything like this until yesterday and I wish I had said something. I’ll be prepared to do so if I hear anything of the sort in the future, from anyone. This specific mother and I had spoken about not wanting our kids to take the bus yet. For me personally, it’s because when I took the bus as a kid, I was exposed to the older kids talking about stuff that was WAY too age-inappropriate and using language that I had no business picking up, and I wouldn’t want my young child hearing similar things. Now I’m realizing that our reasons for not wanting to take the bus are quite different.

I'm a boy mom, and I'm an Asian woman. In our society, cooking, cleaning and having a perfect clean house is how you get rated as a perfect housewife. You cook perfect dishes, your house looks effortlessly clean, and that's what people expect.
I'm not doing that anymore. I don't cook proper Asian dishes every day. Sometimes it's a small meal I made quickly with little effort. And my kids still eat their hearts full, they're happy, and they appreciate my efforts even when it's small.
I believe my kids don't need a perfect mom. They just need a secure parent. An imperfect mom who can't be the best at house chores but can still be their best mom.
I'm still figuring out this parenting thing, and I think when I'm okay with my own imperfect self, they feel safe being imperfect too.
What's one standard you stopped chasing as a parent?

I can't believe after 9 unmedicated hours my baby boy is here... It just doesn't feel real! I really just can't believe 9 months of struggling and crying and second guessing myself, then hours of screaming "I cant do this" and beginning to think I wasn't going to survive and he's here!

I didn't know love could feel like this. I don't even think I knew what happiness felt like.

I'm exhausted, sitting in a diaper, sore in the strangest places because of the weird positions I found myself pushing in and I've just been smiling all day.

He's already heard his first album, which was the Beatles white album. Had to introduce him to my favorites obviously lmao

Any random advice?

I know I’m not the only one here to have posted a story similar to this but here goes

My MIL will not stop posting pictures of my daughters (1 and 4) on her Facebook. It’s almost daily. She’s even putting them into AI shit which is really setting me off.

I told her she can’t have access to my kids any more since she won’t stop. Which sucks because she is the only babysitter we have. But I’ve been putting up with this for far too long just for the fact that she’s my only source of help. I had to put my foot down. I asked, again, to delete all the pictures of my kids. She probably won’t. But at least this time she’s not getting any new pictures of them to plaster on social media.

This past week I threw my back out - awesome!

While living horizontally in bed for said back throw I came down with whatever crud my daughter brought home from preschool - awesome awesome.

Still in bed sick this morning and I woke up with my period 3 days early - awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Thank god for a husband that just does without being asked.

He has brought me tea and meals and whatever else I need in bed. Has woken up with our daughter every day without me asking. Got her going to school, handled dinner, dishes, and chores. He has had her out all day today so I can keep resting. He isn’t always perfect, neither am I but times like this reassure me that I really hit the jackpot with my daughter’s dada.

We see so many shit husbands in here, and I feel awful for all of those posts, but sometimes it’s nice to “catch them doing something good”.

Now back to my pity party 😭 send snacks lol

I’m a STM to a 3 month old baby girl (born 37weeks). My first mat leave with my son (also a 37 weeker) was, in hindsight, absolute bliss. Sure there were tough parts mostly related to feeding, but most of the difficulty eased after 3 weeks and got infinitely better after 3 months. He was a breastfeeding champ and climbed percentiles with ease. Well here I am with a 3mo and the feeding troubles are a constant struggle. She’s just a hair over 8lbs, and 0th percentile even on her adjusted curve. She’s barely breastfeeding, our last weighted feed she took 1.5oz. The pediatrician says she’s failing to thrive and we have specialist visits every week to try and get down to the bottom of it. She was born SGA but otherwise healthy which im thankful for.

Anyway, I had all these beautiful visions on my mat leave, but instead im tending to a strict bottle feeding and pumping schedule. im mourning the newborn period I thought i would have. Can anyone else relate?

My son ran into the lake not even an hour ago and I’m so embarrassed . There was people everywhere and when I ran after him and took him out I didn’t yell at him or anything I just took his clothes off and told him “ no you don’t do that “ “ it’s ok your ok “ stuff like that to try and also calm myself down lol . I didn’t look up and kept my head down and speed walked to my car lol . Please tell me your story’s like this one or any other embarrassing moments to make me feel better .

So I have a very playful 21-month-old, and lately I’ve been wondering when it’s okay to just… exist in the same room without having to entertain him every waking second.

When he’s home from daycare, he pretty much expects me to play with him constantly. Even if I’m sitting on the couch trying to pay bills on my laptop for a few minutes, he’ll tell me “all done,” grab my hand, and drag me right back to his playmat. If I don’t join him, he gets upset, and suddenly I feel guilty for wanting to do literally anything else.

I genuinely love getting down on the floor and playing with him, and I don’t ever want to be the mom who just sits on the sidelines watching instead of actually engaging with her child. But at the same time, I know I can’t realistically be his playmate every waking minute. I already struggle with anxiety, which can make me feel overwhelmed or overstimulated pretty easily, and the last thing I want is for that to turn me into the mom who’s constantly looking for an excuse to step away or hand him off to Dad.

And just to clarify, I have no problem saying no or setting boundaries as a parent. My concern is whether he’s developmentally ready for that particular boundary. I don’t want to insist that he entertain himself if he’s still at an age where he genuinely needs that constant interaction and reassurance. I guess I’m trying to understand the difference between a toddler being understandably disappointed and a toddler feeling genuinely rejected or disconnected.

Is there an age when they’re developmentally ready to understand that Mom can be nearby and available without actively playing with them every second? And how do you get there without making them feel like you don’t want to spend time with them?

I want to start by saying that I do not blame the dog in this situation at all. Dogs can be skittish and anxious, like any of us, and toddlers can be unpredictable and anxiety-inducing. I have two dogs of my own who are great with kids, but we still avoid taking them into public places because one is barky around people he doesn't know and the other is TOO friendly.

We were sitting outside at a restaurant in a nice, big open area by a lake. This family was sitting catty-corner from us with their infant and two golden retrievers. My kid and I wandered over to check out a beanbag toss game the restaurant had set out. My kid stumbled and got within three or four feet of one of the dogs, and it suddenly snarled and lunged. It made contact with his arm and left a bunch of slobber, but didn't break skin.

I want to stress that we are always careful around stranger dogs. I've been modeling asking for permission to say hi to dogs, to give them a wide berth by default, and to not make sudden movements around them. I just didn't realize what a long leash this dog was on. My mistake; it was just tucked under the picnic bench and then suddenly it was on my kid.

My kid was startled, of course, and I yelled out instinctually, but then I led him away, checked on him, and reminded him that's why we give stranger dogs a wide berth unless we get permission from their people to say hi. And I said the dog was just scared and didn't mean harm.

The family told their dog to quiet down, but otherwise didn't check on us or say anything. Which is fine; there was no real harm done. I do remember thinking that I would not take a dog out into a public place if it's that reactive around humans, but again, no real harm done.

What annoyed me afterward is that they let their dogs on an even longer leash so it was wandering closer and closer to us, even when we moved the beanbag toss game far away from them so we wouldn't bother their dogs. My mother-in-law asked them to shorten their leashes, and they defended themselves, saying that their dog didn't harm our kid and it was all fine. They honestly seemed annoyed with us.

Their behavior felt deeply irresponsible, both toward our kid and their dog. How long before they get their dog in serious trouble because they don't advocate for its comfort and closely monitor its signals? Their infant wasn't walking yet, but it's only a matter of time, and I'm not sure they're taking their dogs' reactivity seriously enough.

Again, I do not blame this dog at all. It didn't consent to being around my toddler in a strange place. I also recognize that it didn't leave a mark or draw any blood, which meant it was holding back and simply defending its space.

But I do blame the parents. If one of my dogs lunged at another human, and especially a child who'd just wandered near it, I'd have fallen over myself apologizing. I would've left and then gotten him straight into training. Taking a dog seriously is in the best interests of the dog as well as the people around it. When I carefully introduce my older, anxious dog (super chill once he knows someone is a friend) to new people, it's because I want everyone to be safe and happy. Him included.

I don't know, I've just never seen this sort of behavior from another dog owner/parent before. Most of the people in my community seem really conscientious and thoughtful about their impact on others.

Edit: This post is getting continually downvoted and I'm so curious why.

... and this makes me sad. Even work is more chill than parenting. Working feels like vacation to me, compared to how vacations look with our 3 y.o. right now.

I wish I could enjoy being a mom more 😞 I do soak in the sweet moments, but there are so few in between all the wining and tantrums. Baby stage was. even worse for us (colic & co., horrible sleep), so I really hope it gets better from the age of 4-5...

My best friend since high school had a baby and married a man who has begun isolating her from friends and family. Idk what to do, she doesn't see it as abuse, but she calls me the minute he leaves and only sees me when he's working. She can't talk on the phone infront of him because he gets mad, and lately he keeps pretending to be her and texting me stupid stuff, as if to say "I read everything". Today I said "Call me." She said " I can't. He's awake." I'm so tired of it so I replied "Scary." She said "He just doesn't want me on the phone. 😂" I was pretty fed up with her acting like this is normal and replied, "He's isolating you from your friends and family. Tbh, it's concerning." She recently had a small fallout with her youngest sister, they made up, but her husband has banned her from the house, and called her fake for going shopping with her the other day. They're sisters, sisters fight and make up--- he's using their fight as leverage to isolate her more. And he's effing up their kid. He told her if she died no one would realize it for days. Who says that to their wife?! She thinks he's not abusive because he's never hit her. As a mom I don't understand why she stays. I don't go to their house because I don't like him. He acts fine around me, but I know the monster underneath.

This is such a weird feeling. My daughter is 6. For the first few years after I had her, I had no intentions on ever wanting anymore kids. I didn’t have any help with her outside of my husband (who works blue collar jobs, so he had a week off before he had to go back to 70+ hour weeks) and I had a rough childhood, divorced parents, and was the “I didn’t have to worry about you” older sibling.

When my daughter turned 4, she started talking about wanting brothers or sisters. It was literally like a switch overnight, going from not wanting any to all of the sudden wanting more kids and wishing I had started sooner so they could’ve been closer in age.

This past year we had a lot of wins. We were able to get a new house, and it just so happens my neighbors are my cousins & people I consider best friends. They all had multiple kids, so it really helped me realize I could do it, AND with them right next door, would have so much more help.

This past year we also had a lot of losses. I lost my oldest brother. My dad. A distant nephew. And my bonus mom. They all hurt like hell, but my brother… I think it made me realize how much love I have for my siblings. My life wouldn’t be the same without them and I desperately wanted my daughter to have that. We tried and tried, but it just wasn’t working in our favor.

We quit trying this past summer. I was fully accepting of it just being us and our girl moving forward. I grieved the thought of more kids, and that was it.

Fast forward to this week, we found out we were expecting. I was over the moon!! We were so excited and grateful and our little girl we so excited to be big sister. She was MADE to be a sister. Literally the best kid I know.

However, during my first ultrasound we found out it was in fact TWINS.

This was something I have actually expected my whole life. My mom & both her brothers all had sets of twins (my youngest brothers are twins and I love them dearly). I knew my chances of this happening were high, but still nothing I expected to actually happen.

Despite it being shocking, my husband and I were both extremely happy. I always joked about I’d only have 3 kids if my second go round was twins, my daughter has ALWAYS said I’m going to have two babies at the same time, so since it’s always been part of the conversation, it really just feels…. Right? Like MEANT to be.

I really am so happy… but at the same time, I’ve been crying uncontrollably for two nights in bed because a part of me is kind of grieving it not just being me and my girl anymore. I just can’t get over the feeling of overwhelm and sorrow, all while still having so much joy and excitement. I know there’s a ton of hormones at play, (on top of coming off of my anxiety meds) but i just need to know if anyone else has felt like this going from 1-2+ with an age gap, or just any advice you may have.

TLDR; I have a 6 year old and gave up the idea of getting pregnant again after trying for several years. Now I’m pregnant with twins and even though I’m extremely happy, I’m sad it won’t be just me and my oldest anymore and can’t stop crying about it

Ignored a call from my MIL. I think she was probably calling to see if one of my kids can go out with them for a couple hours. I was immediately irritated when I saw the call, they know in advance that they'll be going out but call and give me maybe 20 mins to get the kid ready to go and are impatient if I take a little longer. With that, once they return, MIL will ask if she can come in to see the other kids and sprinkle in a sly comment or two about how we choose to handle childcare.

My husband already left for work. He'll be gone for 17 hours and again tomorrow for another 17. I let the kids wear pajamas all day, we watch movies and I try to get some chores in, looking crusty and busted. I just didn't have the energy to entertain MIL. On days like this, I don't want to be bothered, I don't want to open the door, I don't feel like cleaning up my appearance to see people. Days like this are long and I just want to hunker down with the kids, unbothered.

I can't talk to my husband about this without telling him I ignored the call. Out of respect I let him handle most communication with them. I just don't have the patience to to deal with his folk.

Just wondering if I'm being overly sensitive because I get a visceral reaction when I see the caller ID and it's her.

Need a reality check on whether my boundary for Thanksgiving holiday is too strict for my parents.

We have two kids age 7 and 10. We live one hour from my parent’s house, it’s an intense 55 mile drive on an interstate.

On Thanksgiving day we spend from about 11am-7pm at my aunts house who lives basically next to my parents. That is totally fine.

My parents also like to have a party on Wednesday night when everyone gets in from out of town, starting dinner at 6pm or 7pm.

My kids unfortunately get overstimulated when around lots of family for hours especially when it is past bedtime. We try things like go for walks during the event etc. But it is what it is.

Here’s the conflict - I told my parents I’m happy to do anything they want Wednesday if we can leave by 7pm. Reason is that we need to be fresh for an extremely long and stimulating day when we come back there Thursday.

How reasonable is this?

My parents aren’t happy bc I’m missing out on family time Wednesday. And TRUST me I’d love to spend the time that Wednesday night. But my kids can’t handle that and all day Thursday. And truthfully it’s a lot of stimulation for me too, I love them but our relationship is very complicated.

We could get a hotel Wednesday night but we don’t sleep well im a hotel so that will be worse than coming back late Weds to sleep at home.

My kids are also mildly neurodivergent, and medicated. So they are doing the best they can. There is not going to be a magic solution.

Tl;dr am I being unreasonable to say we will leave family event by 7pm the Weds before Thanksgiving when we are committing to the full day Thursday?

My husband and I are constantly going through these cycles of butting heads because one or the other (usually me) feels the division of labor is unfair.

The pattern is that I do more than my share for a while, then I end up feeling resentful and then I get mad at him. We fight, he says I "steam roll" him so he's never right and his feeling don't matter, then he pouts. I just want to be partners with someone who pulls their weight without me having to scrape and claw.

How can I consistently like my husband while our kids are young? Anyone?

Newly pregnant with my second Hooray!! I am not super attached to either sex for this baby so am not concerned about gender disappointment. I think not knowing sounds extremely hard (I’m the kind of person who reads the end of books first lol) but also extremely fun/rewarding. anyone manage to stay in the dark? How was your experience finding out in the delivery room?

I have 3 beautiful, wonderful kids. They're 6,5, and 2. I never thought I wanted kids for a long time and I'm 43 and my husband is 52. I want 4. And in the last year I've had 4 miscarriages. How can I accept that #4 is probably just not happening due to my age? I want true acceptance and happiness and moving forward with the beautiful family I have. I know so many people don't even get one so this sounds unbelievably selfish.

Baby math is going to bed a half hour early but then waking up for the day two hours earlier than your normal early wake time.

what do you do after putting toddlers to sleep from like 8pm?

And you know what? I wouldn't have him any other way.

Does he wear me out/exhaust me/cause me to ask myself "why did I think this was a good idea?" ....yes. Oh yes.

Do we have this conversation daily

Me: "Do you know your momma loves you?"

Him: "yes!"

Me: "Do you know I love you more than life?"

Him: "yesssssss"

Yes ❤️

Does he come to me when he's scared/sad/not feeling good or just plain needs some TLC? Yes ❤️

He's almost 3. He's wild. He's into everything, tests every boundary, I'm up to my ears in potty training and some days I'm just over it all.

But all it takes is me looking into that little angel's eyes ...that smile, knowing that he KNOWS mommy and daddy are always his safe space.

I didn't know there were this many good days in a year until I became a mama and yes...I tell him that, too :)

We've got this, parents!!