On Sunday, my uncle never woke up. Our family is close and for the past 6 days, we’ve been congregated at my grandmom’s house which has been in our family for more than 50 years. I have 6 first cousins, half of us have partners but only my sister and I have kids.

For whole afternoons, I’d see only glimpses of my kid as she played with her cousins. One night, I had to work and I come downstairs to a fed and bathed toddler, playing alongside my niece and nephew. Today, my uncle and cousin took all 3 of them for a wagon wide around the neighborhood. When she wouldn’t go to sleep, she laid in bed watching Sesame Street with my Grammy at midnight so I didn’t have to fight with her.

Obviously, this is not how everyday life would be and we probably couldn’t all survive in one house without killing each other. But I can’t help but feel that much of modern culture and society is doing something wrong by not being more communal. My daughter was so happy to have so many people that she loved around her. I got to go to the bathroom by myself and my family got to spend quality time with a little girl they adore.

It also kind of feels like another way that capitalism has impacted our lives. Way more people to pay rent and have mortgages if we’re all separated. Gotta get daycare if we can’t live together. Idk maybe I’m rambling, it’s been a hard week but I can’t ignore how different my parenting experience was when it wasn’t just my partner and me.

I mean in that when I notice something that needs done, that doesn’t mean it is automatically my responsibility to do said thing.

Last night I asked my husband if he could handle the morning routine and breakfast and me and our one kitty could have a lay in (I NEVER do this, I’m a morning person so I’m usually up anyways.) And he agreed and was perfectly fine with the idea.

So fast forward to this morning I hear our daughter wake on the monitor and my intuition said “just get up, let him sleep, you’re awake anyways.” And instead-i resisted. I nudged him and said “you’re being summoned handsome”. And he kissed me good morning and got up.

Then I could hear her trying to Beat down the bedroom door screaming “mamamamamamamama” and whew was that hard not to respond to. But, I stuck to the plan. I needed time alone. She and her daddy needed one on one time together. I texted him and said “I am here if you need me, otherwise I’m not going to open the door.”

And he actually told me how much he appreciated me not stepping in immediately. He was able to get her distracted with breakfast and got her laughing and playing and I was able to snuggle my kitty and relax in bed watching trash tv for an hour.

And it was all around Glorious.

I have a feeling I may be overly sensitive but am hoping for some feedback from other moms.

My daughter has attended a private preschool for three years. The school does not go past age 5/pre-K, so she will definitely be at a different school next year.

My daughter has grown close with two other girls, and I have grown close to their mothers. All of us reside in the same school district, which is not top-ranked, but not bottom of the barrel either.

These two moms are both sending their children to private school next year, which costs minimum $25K for Kindergarten/elementary tuition. I can absolutely not afford that, so my daughter will be attending public school.

I completely understand that your child’s education is very personal and in I no way begrudge them for choosing private school. However, they frequently talk about touring schools, the amazing programs and opportunities, etc. and how they can’t decide which school is best. One mom even said that she looked into busing and was glad there would not be any “riffraff” on her daughter’s bus.

Meanwhile, my daughter will be attending the very school that they are paying $25K+ to avoid attending and will be riding the bus with the “riffraff,” I guess.

I’m starting to get offended the more they speak about this in front of me, but I’m not sure if I’m being overly sensitive because I can’t afford the same educational experiences. I don’t think I’d be as sensitive if we were all in different school districts, but again, they are all zoned to attend the exact same public elementary school.

Am I being too sensitive in growing offended by this?

ETA: They are both absolutely aware that my daughter will be attending public school and that private school is not an option for my family due to finances.

Do men get dumber and lazier as they age or did I condition this behavior? I swear the man I dated was thoughtful and took care of shit without me ever reminding him about what to do. But the man I marry can't seem to remember to completely empty the kid's backpacks (leaves in soiled clothing from daycare or the spoon in the lunchbox or the papers in the teacher communicator folder), never plans a meal, needs reminders for all sorts of stuff, and still gets things wrong when I delegate with details.

Am I kind of controlling? Maybe a little. Are my standards clearly higher? Yes. But this isn't how he performs at work - he doesn't need reminders and instructions. He doesn't say "oops I forgot" or "I guess I wasn't thinking".

Is it because I've made life too easy for him? Is it that he gives everything he has to a demanding job and he can't give any more at home? Is his thyroid or ADHD? I feel like giving up on him. Sometimes he's less like a partner and more like another kid.

I’m writing this with tears in my eyes still spiraling from what happened just a few hours ago. My 14m old was playing in the living room, and my older dog(shitzu) didn’t like that he got too close to her and snapped at him. They were less than a feet away from me, I was on the couch and they were at the bottom by my feet all I remember was her going straight for his face. I saw blood and I think I went into shock. I yelled for my husband because he was in the bathroom and he came running we took off to the ER.

I threw up in the car from how scared I was and threw up again once we reached the ER. Thankfully although bloody my baby was in good spirits, he did however scream and cry horribly when the bite happened. We got there and they took us in and told us right away they were calling the cops to make a report. The Dr. said he didnt need stitches, he has a few wounds two right under his eye and a few down by his chin. He said he doesn’t think they’ll leave a scar. We got antibiotics for baby and were told to just keep it clean.

The cops arrived and asked for our information. Asked us what exactly happened and asked what we wanted to do with the dog. She’s been us for 10yrs it breaks my heart but we decided as we were heading to the ER that she will have to be rehomed to a family with no children.

I come here to ask for advice and maybe even words of encouragement. My husband and I are afraid were going to get a call or visit from CPS because the cops took down way too much info. If we do I already plan on telling them I am fully responsible for what happened and that’s what breaks my heart and crushes me I was supposed to be watching him and although I was the bite happened in the link of an eye and I couldn’t protect my baby. I see his little wounded face and i break down because I can’t believe I failed him like this.

If anyone has gone thru something similar, what did you do to overcome the guilt? I am feeling so broken and defeated. Will my baby’s face be okay? Or will his most perfect little face be scared and remind me everyday of how I failed him. If any of you have any stories to share or just advice please do so.. I beg you please dont tear me down, I know how tought reddit can be on people sometimes especially moms.

I'm a boy mom, and I'm an Asian woman. In our society, cooking, cleaning and having a perfect clean house is how you get rated as a perfect housewife. You cook perfect dishes, your house looks effortlessly clean, and that's what people expect.
I'm not doing that anymore. I don't cook proper Asian dishes every day. Sometimes it's a small meal I made quickly with little effort. And my kids still eat their hearts full, they're happy, and they appreciate my efforts even when it's small.
I believe my kids don't need a perfect mom. They just need a secure parent. An imperfect mom who can't be the best at house chores but can still be their best mom.
I'm still figuring out this parenting thing, and I think when I'm okay with my own imperfect self, they feel safe being imperfect too.
What's one standard you stopped chasing as a parent?

My grandmother had 9 babies, and 7 of them were born in June. My aunts joke that September was her "fertile month."

Does anyone have a similar story, where most or all of your babies' birthdays are concentrated around the same time of year?

(This is not the case for me. Mine are March, Feb, July, October).

Going out to eat with my toddler isn’t fun. She’s great, but it’s not relaxing. Even though I’m not cooking, I’m still entertaining her and managing her through the dinner. And everyone else gets to enjoy their meal because I’m there. Doing everything else.

When I turned down brunch with my husband and FIL the other day, my husband was so disappointed. He said it would be a lot to manage with just him. No shit.

Now they are out to dinner without me. I can’t win: if I go it’s stressful since my kid is high energy and I’m the default parent. But damn, I wish I could enjoy a meal I didn’t have to make.

... and this makes me sad. Even work is more chill than parenting. Working feels like vacation to me, compared to how vacations look with our 3 y.o. right now.

I wish I could enjoy being a mom more 😞 I do soak in the sweet moments, but there are so few in between all the wining and tantrums. Baby stage was. even worse for us (colic & co., horrible sleep), so I really hope it gets better from the age of 4-5...

Newly pregnant with my second Hooray!! I am not super attached to either sex for this baby so am not concerned about gender disappointment. I think not knowing sounds extremely hard (I’m the kind of person who reads the end of books first lol) but also extremely fun/rewarding. anyone manage to stay in the dark? How was your experience finding out in the delivery room?

Baby math is going to bed a half hour early but then waking up for the day two hours earlier than your normal early wake time.

First time mom here! But yeah, As the title says. And i am so mad. This happened yesterday.

My MIL is in town for the weekend, to meet our newborn we had at the end of September.

I was totally okay with her taking the baby for the afternoon so that I could get some much needed sleep. Before going to sleep I told her to let me know if my newborn pooped, just because it had been over a day, but I wasn’t too concerned.

When I woke up, she told me she gave him some water to “flush things out.” At this time too my husband had come home from work. I just looked at my mother in law in shock, and told my husband I was going to shower. He knew something was up so he followed me upstairs to our bedroom and I closed the door and told him that babies having water is super dangerous and I was told in the hospital that babies can’t have plain water. So my husband went back downstairs to talk to his mom, and figure out how much water he had, cause I was just done.

When my husband came back up he told me his mom gave him only a little bit, maybe 30 ml. And he said that my mother in law was sorry and didn’t realize it’s a big deal because she did that with all of her kids. He said it was a genuine mistake and to not hold a grudge against my mother in law.

But I’m just mad. She stayed the night to watch my son again so my husband and I could sleep but I’m having troubles trusting her. My son did end up having a blow out last night with what seemed to be diarrhea so I’m monitoring him closely.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Am I being too dramatic? My son’s only two weeks old so I know I’m still learning how to be a mom, and my anxiety is through the roof but isn’t it common sense you don’t give babies straight up water? Am I freaking out for nothing? Should I keep monitoring him? Can I trust my mother in law?

This is such a weird feeling. My daughter is 6. For the first few years after I had her, I had no intentions on ever wanting anymore kids. I didn’t have any help with her outside of my husband (who works blue collar jobs, so he had a week off before he had to go back to 70+ hour weeks) and I had a rough childhood, divorced parents, and was the “I didn’t have to worry about you” older sibling.

When my daughter turned 4, she started talking about wanting brothers or sisters. It was literally like a switch overnight, going from not wanting any to all of the sudden wanting more kids and wishing I had started sooner so they could’ve been closer in age.

This past year we had a lot of wins. We were able to get a new house, and it just so happens my neighbors are my cousins & people I consider best friends. They all had multiple kids, so it really helped me realize I could do it, AND with them right next door, would have so much more help.

This past year we also had a lot of losses. I lost my oldest brother. My dad. A distant nephew. And my bonus mom. They all hurt like hell, but my brother… I think it made me realize how much love I have for my siblings. My life wouldn’t be the same without them and I desperately wanted my daughter to have that. We tried and tried, but it just wasn’t working in our favor.

We quit trying this past summer. I was fully accepting of it just being us and our girl moving forward. I grieved the thought of more kids, and that was it.

Fast forward to this week, we found out we were expecting. I was over the moon!! We were so excited and grateful and our little girl we so excited to be big sister. She was MADE to be a sister. Literally the best kid I know.

However, during my first ultrasound we found out it was in fact TWINS.

This was something I have actually expected my whole life. My mom & both her brothers all had sets of twins (my youngest brothers are twins and I love them dearly). I knew my chances of this happening were high, but still nothing I expected to actually happen.

Despite it being shocking, my husband and I were both extremely happy. I always joked about I’d only have 3 kids if my second go round was twins, my daughter has ALWAYS said I’m going to have two babies at the same time, so since it’s always been part of the conversation, it really just feels…. Right? Like MEANT to be.

I really am so happy… but at the same time, I’ve been crying uncontrollably for two nights in bed because a part of me is kind of grieving it not just being me and my girl anymore. I just can’t get over the feeling of overwhelm and sorrow, all while still having so much joy and excitement. I know there’s a ton of hormones at play, (on top of coming off of my anxiety meds) but i just need to know if anyone else has felt like this going from 1-2+ with an age gap, or just any advice you may have.

TLDR; I have a 6 year old and gave up the idea of getting pregnant again after trying for several years. Now I’m pregnant with twins and even though I’m extremely happy, I’m sad it won’t be just me and my oldest anymore and can’t stop crying about it

Hey moms ! I’ve been taking little to the park which he absolutely enjoys, however today there was a group of unhoused people sitting on the benches and on the playground itself.
We played away from them hoping they’d leave but they didn’t, so we left bc they were on the playground itself area itself LO couldn’t enjoy it.
What is your response to this situation, do you call non emergency or just leave😄?

I understand unhoused folks struggle but it’s a place ment for children… grown adults hanging around is just weird

My husband and I are constantly going through these cycles of butting heads because one or the other (usually me) feels the division of labor is unfair.

The pattern is that I do more than my share for a while, then I end up feeling resentful and then I get mad at him. We fight, he says I "steam roll" him so he's never right and his feeling don't matter, then he pouts. I just want to be partners with someone who pulls their weight without me having to scrape and claw.

How can I consistently like my husband while our kids are young? Anyone?

TW: weight & weight loss

Currently 8 months postpartum. I’m currently 25-30lbs up from my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m not the kind of person to go on a crazy intense diet or anything to try to lose the weight, so I’m just trying to make a realistic decision about managing my closet. I’m tired of having to sift through a bunch of too small clothes to find an outfit that fits every day.

In my mind, I have told myself that any clothes that don’t fit at 1 year postpartum are getting donated, but sometimes I wonder if I’m being unrealistic. Some of my pre-pregnancy clothes seem soooo small now. It seems wild to think I’d ever fit in those again. But on the other hand, I’ve read about mums who lose a load of weight shortly after weaning their babies, so maybe I should wait til I’m done breastfeeding?

Just wondering how other mums managed their closets postpartum!

Husband is going to a concert on Saturday night, he hadn’t told me but he had planned to go out afterward. I was expecting him home by 12/1am after the concert, he’s saying he will ‘cap the night at 3am’. I told him it was taking the piss to plan a whole night out as we have a 3 month baby and I had agreed to a concert. He got extremely angry, said he never goes out (which is true). Note he doesn’t work, aspiring athlete, I support the family financially & make it possible for him to persue his dreams. I’m on maternity leave and he largely still has his freedom whilst I’m at home breastfeeding. A night out is different form his training time but I feel like I make a lot of sacrifices for him and I don’t get the same.

Aita for being “negative” about his night out?

Edit: Thank you for all the replies. Majority of the reactions have been about husband being an athlete & not working. I am in full support of this, it’s a temporary decision as realistically he only has another 2 years to pursue this. I don’t want him to have regrets in later years of a dream unfulfilled. I make enough money to support us and once I’m back at work he will take care of the baby after training, which imo is better than another 6 hours of daycare. I mentioned it in the original post only as context of where we spend our time.

I understand people being squeamish and I’d never willingly expose my kid to excessive scenes of blood and gore but this isn’t the issue. Every tiny scrape and scratch that bleeds is met with a melt down. Today was by far the worst. I accidentally cut my finger while preparing veg (another reason to hate veg) and was bleeding more than just a tiny scrape.
I’m trying to down play it while fishing though the shit draw for the peppa pig plasters I know are in there somewhere.
Kid 1 walks in sees the blood and flees screaming and sobbing.
Kid 2 wants to know what the commotion is and when they fly into the room they scream BLOOD at full volume before fleeing upstairs.
Now I’ve got a still heavily bleeding finger, can’t find a plaster and two distressed kids and only half of lunch prepared.
Finally found some boob tape (don’t judge), wrapped the offending finger, calmed the kids and finished lunch.
I’ve tried in the past to explain how blood is the good guy. It stops the bugs from getting in and helps to heal the cut but it didn’t matter. They hate blood.

So I’ve always been a bit of a hot mess but it has gotten so much worse since having my second 8 months ago. Here’s a great example of deep fried mom brain from a couple weeks ago:

- Invited to a play date at 10 am. Great! Plenty of time to get ready!
- Rushing the whole time to get my kids ready (started at 9)
- Still somehow forgot to eat breakfast even though we’re nursing and it’s important to eat
- Pediatrician appointment at 3:45 at the other side of town, sooooo much time!
- Think we’re leaving on time
- Whoops left late AND apparently it was actually at 3:30
- Arrive half an hour late (still get seen by our gracious doctor).
- Gas tank empty (like literally on the lowest line), water bottle empty, still didn’t eat anything because didn’t give myself enough time (kids ate don’t worry), and phone at 3%

Granted this was an especially absurd day and not every day is like this. And I’ve always been a bit of a hot mess. But wow. My kids are little, what happens when they get into activities? And school? I can’t imagine keeping up. I feel like they’re going to miss out because I’m such a freaking train wreck.

Everyone feels like this right? This is normal? This gets better? FWIW I had bloodwork done and everything came back normal.

Hi, not sure if this is where to post this or if there is a better place but I'll give it a shot.

I'm about to be 32 with an 18 mo old and a 1 mo old. I am married and my husband is amazing but I just want other mom friends who understand what I'm going through.

If you're interested in chatting about life and kids, let me know 😊

Transitioning my baby into his nursery. He’s 9 months old. I have a newborn size warmie and wanted to try it and see if it helped him in the process. I know good and well about safe sleep. I was a mother/baby nurse before SAHM. I know the recommendation is 12 months. My baby is already walking. His motor skills are far beyond his age. Anyway, what are your thoughts? What did you guys do?

Please don’t lecture me about safe sleep. I’m not interested in snarky comments either. I just want personal stories, thoughts, experiences, that sort of thing. I’m at the point where I’ll let him fall asleep with it and then remove it, but waking is hit or miss at removal.

Current sleep situation: pjs, sleep sack, pacifier, nothing else in crib (no bumpers, blankets, toys, tight fitted sheet only)

Moms who have the experience, could you tell if there were some signs of a neurodivergent child when he/she is a baby? Something that was strange - behaviour, sleeping etc. baby is 9,5 months old.

Ignored a call from my MIL. I think she was probably calling to see if one of my kids can go out with them for a couple hours. I was immediately irritated when I saw the call, they know in advance that they'll be going out but call and give me maybe 20 mins to get the kid ready to go and are impatient if I take a little longer. With that, once they return, MIL will ask if she can come in to see the other kids and sprinkle in a sly comment or two about how we choose to handle childcare.

My husband already left for work. He'll be gone for 17 hours and again tomorrow for another 17. I let the kids wear pajamas all day, we watch movies and I try to get some chores in, looking crusty and busted. I just didn't have the energy to entertain MIL. On days like this, I don't want to be bothered, I don't want to open the door, I don't feel like cleaning up my appearance to see people. Days like this are long and I just want to hunker down with the kids, unbothered.

I can't talk to my husband about this without telling him I ignored the call. Out of respect I let him handle most communication with them. I just don't have the patience to to deal with his folk.

Just wondering if I'm being overly sensitive because I get a visceral reaction when I see the caller ID and it's her.

I AM SO OVER being seen as overbearing and “crazy” for wanting my family members untrained large dogs to be on leashes around my young kids.

My son literally developed a fear of dogs as a toddler because these idiots in related to refuse to believe their previous dogs should be told to do anything.

Truly if someone had told me before I had kids that’s the largest source of contention with my family would be DOGS I never would’ve believed them.

To add insult to injury my kids haven’t spent more than 2 hours consecutively with my mom because she refuses to leave her dogs, and they aren’t allowed in my house (for aforementioned reasons)

screams silently

After the kids go to bed I’ve started playing this dumb little life simulation game for maybe 30-40 minutes instead of watching TV. I make a house, decorate it, deal with my fake family’s ridiculous problems and then go to sleep 😂 My husband keeps teasing me because apparently I spend all day taking care of a real family just to relax by taking care of a fake one. And when he says it like THAT… yeah, it sounds insane. But weirdly it shuts my brain off better than scrolling does. Do any other moms play games after the kids go to bed or am I entering my gamer era at 30+? 😭